Plumbing the Death Star - Who Had It Worse: Sisyphus or Prometheus?

Episode Date: April 28, 2024

It’s a tale as old as time! Man, he lack fire and cannot cook ham, but thankfully man’s daddy, Prometheus, he give us fire to cook our delicious ham! However his cousin (our uncle??) Zeus hate whe...n man make ham! So punished Prometheus by chaining him to a rock, and made his delicious god liver everlasting. And then punished an eagle to eat that liver every day! And then there’s that other tale that’s as old as time! Some king, he rude and violated the sacred tradition of being a good host and then cheat death twice. This is no good to the gods so now he must roll a big boulder up a hill only to watch it roll back down and then has to do it all again. For eternity! Now as the pearly white gates of hell open before us and the little goblin man that greets us all asks if we want to opt in for the Sisyphus special or the Prometheus platter, we here at Plumbing the Death Star are given the Herculean task of trying to figure out which one is better. Either way, one must imagine Sisyphus, and by extension Prometheus, happy. It’s the only way to get through it.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Ahem. Ahem. You're listening to the Sands Pants Network. Hey everyone and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star. I'm Joel. I'm Jackson. I'm also Joel. And Plumbing the Death Star is a comedy and pop culture podcast where we usually talk movies or like TV shows. Video games. Maybe video games. Comic books. Book. Book. Book. Comic.
Starting point is 00:00:23 Yeah. Uh, yeah, you know, just things we've seen. But yeah, as you'll see, we all see important questions like, who had it worse, Sisyphus or Prometheus? So two famous sons of bitches Yeah Who suffered greatly Just a couple of fellas Who had a bad time One lad
Starting point is 00:00:55 He's like I'm gonna get What's that gods? Do you have a fire? This could make my ham hot You know what? I'm stealing it I'm taking that
Starting point is 00:01:03 Not only does it make my ham hot Hey Maybe make your ham hot, hey, maybe make your ham hot too. And then the gods say, hey little man, fuck your ass. And they strap him to a rock. Hang on little man, why is your ham so hot? What did you do? Do you steal my fire, you son of a bitch? Strapping you
Starting point is 00:01:18 to a rock and an eagle is eating your guts every day. Yep. It's gonna, every night it'll grow back. But then every morning, guess what? You know that eagle? He's coming back and getting a delicious meal
Starting point is 00:01:30 of your intestines. And the other guy. Sisyphus. Can't remember what he did. Possibly a king. It's not important. What did Sisyphus do? His deal
Starting point is 00:01:38 is that he has to roll a boulder to the top of a hill. But every time he reaches the top of that hill, the boulder rolls right on back down to the base. And he's got to do it again and again for eternity.
Starting point is 00:01:51 He was a devious tyrant who killed visitors to show off his power. I knew he was devious. Yeah, he was a bad guy. That's what I say when I see him rolling his boulder. This violation of the sacred hospitality greatly angered the gods. And they punished him
Starting point is 00:02:05 by that. Yeah. So, neither are good. Well, Prometheus didn't do anything bad. No.
Starting point is 00:02:13 But it's not, what? You said neither of them are good. No, no, I mean the punishments. No, I know and I'm talking about them
Starting point is 00:02:19 as people. So, Prometheus also created humanity from clay. Yeah. Good guy. He had people. So Prometheus also created humanity from clay. Yeah. Good guy. He had a lot going on. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:28 But his punishment, which is what we're here to discuss. So you want to try and figure out which punishment's worse. Worse. Which one would you? Well, first of all, from just like a base you're looking at him, which one would you rather? Okay, so the one if you just roll in without thinking about it. Yeah, like you got no context.
Starting point is 00:02:42 I'm just like, hey, Dusha, welcome to hell. I'm Jackson. I'm a demon. Hey, douche, welcome to hell. Yeah. I'm Jackson. I'm a demon. Hey, you've lived a life of beautiful sin. But for some reason, we choose not to reward that. Yeah. I'm giving you two. Even though we love sinners here.
Starting point is 00:02:54 We fucking love sin, but we're also little cunts. Yeah, we love to punish them. Don't you love the sinners and the sin? No, dude. We love the sin. We love sin, but we love hurting people way more. Yeah. So here's the deal.
Starting point is 00:03:07 That's fair. I'd do the same. You can either roll a boulder up the hill forever. Yeah, you want the Sisyphus or you want the Prometheus? You want the Sisyphus deal or the Prometheus deal. Okay. Now, so straight out of the game, you're like, Sisyphus is better. Rolling a boulder is better.
Starting point is 00:03:20 I disagree. No, see, you're doing the stupid thing that I'm running up to. I understand what you're saying, but straight off the bat, I'm saying Prometheus. You want to get, no, because the- I understand where you come from. I'm saying straight off the bat, no thoughts, literally just smooth, like, you know, nothing but zammit, nothing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:36 Prometheus. Can I, is that because you're like, he gets to lie down? Yeah. Yeah, I know. I knew it. My logic is- I knew it. He's standing up, by the way. He's strapped like this. down? Yeah, I know. He's standing up, by the way.
Starting point is 00:03:47 He's strapped like this. I'm so mad at that demon. What? You should have told me! What are you talking about? I thought I could lay down! I'm a demon, dude. I'll kill you. Still does seem better. You're not walking.
Starting point is 00:04:03 I was going to say, the run-up I was doing was like, Sisyphus seems better because you're not in physical agony all the time. You're not having half of your body consumed. But I was like, the more you think about it, the more you realize that the Prometheus punishment ends up being kind of better because I would just get so bored of a boulder. And I feel like that you're getting eaten alive. That would just become, I don't know if anyone out there
Starting point is 00:04:25 has been in immense pain for a long period of time. Yeah. But it sort of just makes your brain numb. Yeah. But the problem is. It's just liver, right? Isn't it? Yeah, it's just your liver. Yeah. But I think the issue with Prometheus is that it's not always happening. So yes,
Starting point is 00:04:42 if you're in immense pain for a long period of time, you grow dull to it. But you're not in immense pain for a long period of time, you grow dull to it. But you're not in immense pain for a long period of time. With Prometheus, with the boulder. With Prometheus, you're in immense pain for a brief part of your day every day. So there's the lying on the rock in anticipation
Starting point is 00:04:58 of the eagle. The eagle lands on you. Immense pain, immense pain, immense pain, immense pain. Goes back. Goes back. The eagle comes back. Immense pain, immense pain, immense pain, immense pain. Goes back over the head. Goes back. The eagle comes back. Immense pain, immense pain, immense pain, immense pain. Also, looking at the beautiful picture,
Starting point is 00:05:12 the painting, sorry, by Salvatore Rosa of the Torch of Prometheus, he's kind of laying down. He's laying down. Not for me. It's still the one you'd pick. I think what's nice about Sisyphus is you can- Oh, this one, he's on a boulder.
Starting point is 00:05:26 Like, he's laying down, but he's kind of on an angle. Well, here's the oldest depiction of him where he's definitely standing up. Not only is he standing up, he's standing- He's squatting. He's squatting at a terrible angle. Plus, the eagle's got its claws right on his dick and balls. The eagle getting purchased on your dick and balls to eat your guts? Not ideal.
Starting point is 00:05:47 At least with a boulder, I'm getting a workout. Well, I want to think about the boulder, which is nice. It's funny that it says, so with Prometheus, it's like got his information, like parents, siblings, children, but it also says abode, Mount Olympus. Yeah. That's where he's getting that eagle eating him. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:01 But what's nice about Sisyphus is you could probably try different things, you know, change up your day. Oh, yeah. I could walk backwards. Yeah. I'll push nice about Sisyphus is you can probably try different things. You know, change up your day. Oh, yeah. I can walk backwards. Yeah, I'll push it up like this. Oh, you know what? Try one hand. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:10 I'll go one hand today. What if I walk on my hands and push it with my feet? Push with my feet. What if I try and pull the boulder? See if that works. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What if I try and push it with my face? Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:06:19 Lick it up. You can change it up enough that I think a Sisyphus it would be. And like. Yeah, okay. Yeah, I'm leaning more now towards Sisyphus as opposed to Prometheus. I could do a bit of a smiley face on the boulder. Yeah, that's true. But as Prometheus, I could talk to the eagle.
Starting point is 00:06:37 Both of them I have a friend. Yes. Well, but the boulder is inert. The eagle is attacking you. But I get whatever. It's still another living being. What I think about, though, is that, say you're Sisyphus. You know the deal. You get to the top, you watch that boulder roll back down.
Starting point is 00:06:53 Now, the way it's meant to... Oh, no. They keep saying roll a boulder up a hill, but every pitcher in art, he's have to carry the boulder. He's have to carry the boulder. He has to carry. Look at him carrying. He's got his penis out and he's carrying the rock. I don't want to carry the boulder.
Starting point is 00:07:11 But there's an angel on the rock, too. I don't know. Don't look at art. What the fuck is going on? Ignore the art. What about this one? Yeah, that is cool art. He does have his dick out again.
Starting point is 00:07:20 Do you have to have your dick out? Why is there always like an angel just following him? Because the angel's probably the one who did the punishment. Oh yeah, and just pushing the rock over. Yeah, some of them are just shoving it. But what I think about, right, you're Sisyphus, you get to the top. What I assume is meant to annoy you the most
Starting point is 00:07:35 and is the part of the punishment is the boulder roll, all your progress is taken away. But if I know I'm never gonna make progress, who cares? Yeah. I push the boulder up to the top of the hill, I let the boulder roll away. But if I know I'm never gonna make progress, who cares? Yeah. I push the boulder up to the top of the hill, I let the boulder roll away. I would let the boulder, I'd push the boulder and see how far you could get it down.
Starting point is 00:07:52 Yeah, make a game out of it. Yeah, exactly. I think Sisyphus is the choice. Sisyphus seems nice. Sisyphus does seem nice, I guess, the kind of thing where I'm like, well, because also it's you can't, it's up to you how far you get in a day I don't use it though yeah look I have to you know as punishment all I gotta do is I'm forced to push the boulder
Starting point is 00:08:12 right how long is that gonna take what if I'm bad at pushing that boulder so are you imagining you stay at the base of the hill I'm trying I'm doing the best I can I don't think you can trick the punishment I'm not trying to trick it I'm genuinely I am. I don't think you can trick the punishment. I'm not trying to trick it. I'm genuinely, I am trying. I don't think I could. Given a million years, probably eventually, but given like a, you know, I'm not going,
Starting point is 00:08:34 I'm not doing that whole day. That's true, yeah, yeah. Do you build muscle as Sisyphus? Probably, right? Sisyphus might be dead. Yeah, probably you take a punishment in the after. Yeah, so Sisyphus might be dead. Sisyphus has sinned in spectacularly confusing ways.
Starting point is 00:08:54 He cheats death twice, and also maybe tricks Hades into chaining. Hades comes to chain him up, and he somehow tricks Hades into chaining himself up. Right. And then when Hades comes to chain him up and he somehow tricks Hades into chaining himself up right and then when Hades nice move and Hades and when
Starting point is 00:09:08 chain you up Hades what chain yourself up great idea guy okay and then what just do it
Starting point is 00:09:15 and then Hades is chained up no one can die anymore but people still get old and sick so everyone on earth is miserable.
Starting point is 00:09:27 And then the gods retaliate by threatening to make Sisyphus' life so miserable that he would wish he was dead, so he has no choice but to release Hades. But then this is the confusing part. Before Sisyphus died, he had told his wife to throw his naked corpse
Starting point is 00:09:42 into the middle of the public square purportedly to test as a test of his wife's love for him. This caused Sisyphus to end up on the shores of the River Styx where he was brought into the underworld. That makes sense.
Starting point is 00:09:59 What are you confused about? He's dead now, he's gone in the underworld. He's like, I tricked death. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. So the punishment is in the underworld. Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that means that you can get up to the top of the hill.
Starting point is 00:10:13 Yeah. Because you're dead. Well, exactly. But that means you've got whatever, infinite strength to get the boulder there, right? That's fine. What I'm trying to say is how much attention are they giving me? I think that's what the angel's for.
Starting point is 00:10:22 You're getting watched the whole time. You've got to get the boulder to the top of the hill. Or what? They're going to punish me? I think that's what the angel's for. You're getting watched the whole time. You've got to get the ball to the top of the hill. Or what? They're going to punish me? Well, I don't know. I think you just have to. I understand. It's like Prometheus.
Starting point is 00:10:31 Well, Prometheus they strapped down. Prometheus, yeah, they've strapped him down. He's got literally zero control. Yeah. He is there getting pecked, getting his liver eaten, having the agony of it getting regrown. He could probably snap that bird's throat. With what? His mouth? No, his chain.
Starting point is 00:10:50 Whereas Sisyphus, he's like whatever. What's the worst I could do? Make me do it again? I'm doing it again. I guess. I don't know. Sisyphus, I can push that bulge up. I can take as long or as little as I want. I have a compulsion. My tonic needs to keep doing it. And I have to keep doing it. But like, I'll take as long or as little as I want. I have a compulsion. My punishment is to keep doing it, and I have to keep doing it.
Starting point is 00:11:05 But like, I'll be fast about it. Work your wage, Jackson. Is that fun? Is it a win to push the boulder halfway up the hill and be like, got him? Well, you gotta take your wins where you can. That is true, I suppose. There's no parameters
Starting point is 00:11:21 here of like, kind of wiggle room. As Prometheus, I'm just there copping it. I don't wait until Hercules comes and kills that fucking bird. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I guess Sisyphus, well, I guess he never gets any sort of... No, no, he's just doing that forever, for eternity. You're just trapped. You're trapped rolling the ball.
Starting point is 00:11:40 I don't know. I'm thinking maybe Prometheus is better. I think I'm coming around. All right. Is Prometheus, is it also for eternity? Yeah. Is it also like for
Starting point is 00:11:48 eternity until that eagle gets caught by Hercules? I think obviously in the myth at some point these people get freed. But for the sake of
Starting point is 00:11:54 the question, I think it has to be eternity. No, they don't get freed. Neither of them get freed. The story just comes to an end with that
Starting point is 00:12:00 punishment. That's exactly what I want. No. What? Prometheus gets freed. Prometheus gets up. Well, yeah,
Starting point is 00:12:06 the Hercules strangles that goddamn eagle. I did not know that. I'm fairly certain. I'm just looking up. I'm just looking up about to see if Sifus ever gets freed.
Starting point is 00:12:17 But either way, I think it's not relevant to the question. Apparently Hades was easy to trick. Yeah, that's not surprising. He gets tricked all the time. Guy's a fucking moron. It's hot down there. It's hard to think. He's got a hot brain. Yeah, that's not surprising. He gets tricked all the time. Guy's a fucking moron. It's hot down there.
Starting point is 00:12:25 It's hard to think. He's got a hot body. Yeah, a Greek hero, Hercules, with Zeus's permission, killed the eagle and he freed Prometheus.
Starting point is 00:12:32 But I think, I think the pain of getting your guts torn open every day would be exciting. I think at a certain point it would become exciting.
Starting point is 00:12:42 Whereas, rolling the ball up and down the hill. The way you said that, I'm scared that it would become exciting. Whereas rolling the ball up and down the hill. The way you said that, I'm scared that it would become sexual. Not initially, but I suppose it is. I worry, Jackson. I worry that both of these become sexual for you.
Starting point is 00:12:56 I can't imagine Sisyphus becoming sexual. What are you talking about? You draw a sexy smile and eyes on that boulder. Come on. Put a hole in it. You're already not wearing pants. Fucking fuck the boulder, come on. Put a hole in it? You're already not wearing pants. Fucking fuck the boulder, of course. Of course you can fuck the boulder.
Starting point is 00:13:08 But then I can fuck the eagle. No, you're chained up. You can't fuck the eagle. I can get a boner. You can get a boner. The eagle could fuck me. Yeah, the eagle would peck the hell out of your boner. Rip that right off.
Starting point is 00:13:18 I can get a chopped up boner eaten by a bird's beak. It's only your liver that's immortal, so if the eagle ate other parts of you, they'd grow them back. So hang on, talk me through it. Maybe I'm confused. Yes, why? What the fuck happens with Prometheus?
Starting point is 00:13:32 So Prometheus, he's... He's a god. God, fire, ego, human, bad. They're like, hey, fire's God's power. He's like, your punishment is every day an eagle's going to come, and you're going to rip open your belly, you're going to eat your liver.
Starting point is 00:13:44 And you've got an immortal liver. So you're going to eat the liver, and then the eagle's gonna come and you're gonna rip open your belly you're gonna eat your liver and it's in the you've got an immortal liver so you're gonna eat the liver and then the eagle's gonna trip off and then overnight the liver grows back
Starting point is 00:13:51 and guess what oh is that is that the sunrise well guess what I know what's coming today the fucking eagle's back oh you always I'm so hungry
Starting point is 00:14:00 for a little you know what you love to eat your liver it's funny that in a way they punish the eagle too. Yeah. Every day that eagle's going to eat that liver, which it's a lesser punishment,
Starting point is 00:14:10 but it's still, he's trapped eating that liver unless it's a different eagle every day. I don't think it is. Then Hercules come and he strangled that eagle. Well, there you go. What did the eagle do? If every day you had to walk to your neighbor's house and eat their spaghetti and meatballs to start your day,
Starting point is 00:14:25 is that bad for you? No, well, sometimes. Every day, oh, yeah, because you're going to stay at home. I've got to say, I do do things in my life. You have to then, yeah, orientate your whole day around eating spaghetti and meatballs. Grabbing the spaghetti and then leaving. It has become a punishment.
Starting point is 00:14:41 Yeah. No matter what it is. Even if you love to eat liver. If I'm getting paid for it, it's become a punishment. It's still, it's my. Even if you love to eat liver. If I'm getting paid for it. It's become a punishment. It's still, it's my job. It's not the career path I would have been in. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:50 No matter what happens. Your neighbor's spaghetti and meatball. My career's counselor at high school was like, well, we've reviewed your test, Jackson. Turns out. I think you would be amazing at eating your neighbor's spaghetti every day in the morning. Your neighbor has been cursed so that every night they make a spaghetti and meatball and then every morning you go in and you eat it.
Starting point is 00:15:10 Yeah. Before they wake up. That's your job. Before they wake up for some reason. It's very funny. They wake up in the morning and they're like, once the spaghetti's gone, he did his job like spaghetti Santa Claus.
Starting point is 00:15:24 He just ate the marinara sauce on the ground or whatever. I think the way that it would work is their punishment is that every night they yearn to make spaghetti and meatballs. Right. But by the time the dish is finished, they're so tired. They've got to go to sleep. They're like, well, I'll eat it in the morning. And then they go to sleep really excited for their spaghetti and meatballs. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:43 And then when they wake up, their spaghetti and meatballs have been eaten by a man. How early am I eating the spaghetti and meatballs? 10. 10? 10 a.m. They sleep in. Yeah, they sleep in. They make their spaghetti and meatballs.
Starting point is 00:15:54 You're going to start your morning by late. Can they ever wake up past early in the day? Okay. They are getting a strange body. 10's also annoying because if it was really early in the morning I could reorient the way I enjoy a day. But 10 is like I'm getting up at 9 I'm late for work every day because I've got to eat this fucking spaghetti.
Starting point is 00:16:13 We can eat it before 10. They wake up at 10. Okay, that's alright. Then I'll reorient my day. I can take it to work. Or do I have to eat it in their house? No, you can take it. This has become veryca on the tram. I can take it to the... Or do I have to eat it in their house? No, you can take it. Okay.
Starting point is 00:16:25 This has become very different from the previous. Well, you know what, Hanayia? You kind of got to eat it there. Oh, yeah. Actually, no. Yeah, you've got to eat it there. You have to eat it out of their fridge. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:34 No, no, no. They leave it on the bench. No, maybe it's left in the microwave. So I can heat it up. So it's left in the microwave. Left on the stove. It's bubbling. And then, yeah, actually they've made a long
Starting point is 00:16:45 sauce. Oh, yum. Long sauce. A long sauce. I understand the concept, but calling it a long sauce is fucking me. Delicious long sauce. Slow cooked bolognese. Or as I like to call it, a long sauce. It's left bubbling
Starting point is 00:17:01 on the stove. And I have it all? How much is it? It's exactly one serve It's what you need Well I mean It's not great It's not great Because what that means
Starting point is 00:17:12 For you and the eagle Is that like If you want to go out for brunch If you want to go out For a lovely breakfast Sorry I would love to meet up For breakfast But I've got to go eat
Starting point is 00:17:20 Unfortunately I'm cursed And then Eventually I've been blessed By eating my neighbour's Meatballs and spaghetti And then eventually. I've been blessed by eating my neighbor's meatballs and spaghetti. And then eventually, after a few years, Hercules busts into your ass and breaks your neck.
Starting point is 00:17:33 He saves them. He saves them from me. Yeah, he saves them. And he saves you in a way. Eat the spaghetti now. It's yours now. I've solved the problem. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:17:43 But I guess the difference is that an eagle has less going on than a human being. Yeah. I don't know, man. Like an eagle that can eat a god liver? Yeah. I mean, that's got to be a powerful eagle. I suppose. But if you were like, well, you know, I want to go out and hang out with, you know, other
Starting point is 00:17:56 eagles. Other eagles. I want to maybe, you know, make sweet love to my eagle partner. Yeah. Raise my eagle kids. Surely someone else could have killed an eagle. Don't need to wait for Hercules. Well, yeah. I mean wait For Hercules Well yeah
Starting point is 00:18:05 Maybe Hercules Just had the drive Yeah Maybe it's a special eagle It's a god eagle Oh a giggle Because you gotta It's one that can
Starting point is 00:18:13 Pierce god flesh And eat god liver Yeah yeah yeah So it's gotta be Some kind of It's like an eagle Lives on Mount Olympus Here's a question
Starting point is 00:18:19 About the eagle Does the eagle come At the same time Every day do you reckon I reckon it would be Within a couple Hour window Because I think For it to be within a couple-hour window. Because I think for it to be a proper punishment, it needs to be a bit random.
Starting point is 00:18:29 Yeah. You know, because you don't want to get used to the eagle eating your liver. You want it to come as a horrible shock every time. Yeah. But I still think that's probably— He should eat a different part every day. Yeah, okay. One day it's liver, another day balls.
Starting point is 00:18:42 Eyes, tongue. Yeah. I think, yeah yeah to make it random and up to the eagle because sometimes you'd be like there was a whole day nothing happened
Starting point is 00:18:49 you got hope you need a little bit of hope for Torture to Work yeah actually you're right because yeah with Sisyphus it's like I just gotta push this back
Starting point is 00:18:56 whatever at some point you're gonna go like the smoothest brain you're no longer thinking everything's on autopilot I don't care anymore no thoughts stop writing a musical
Starting point is 00:19:05 in your head or whatever. You are not your ball man. You're physically there. Mentally gone. The ball's falling down the hill again. Ball man! Gotta chase that ball back
Starting point is 00:19:20 down the hill again. And all the angels watching are like, I don't think it's working. Pull it in! He's way too happy. So, yeah, the eagle, it's a Caucasian eagle, the Aestos Cacasios. The gigantic eagle
Starting point is 00:19:36 sent by Zeus to feed upon the ever-regenerating liver of the Titan Prometheus after he was chained to a peak of the Cacasus of the Caucasus the Caucasus mountains
Starting point is 00:19:47 as punishment for stealing fire from the gods so I think I think that you get well it's tricky we should have left him there
Starting point is 00:19:55 imagine we could just go to the mountains and visit him oh the eagle has also been described as a bronze automaton constructed by um
Starting point is 00:20:03 uh oh yeah it could also be a robot. Is that that same robot that protected Crete? Hephaestus made it! Yellin' at the sea? No, Hephaestus. Hephaestus? The forge god or whatever?
Starting point is 00:20:15 I thought it was Hephaestus, the same guy who made the atomic bomb in Eternals. Or it could have been a fell creature spawned by the Dracaena. But I just think the constant pain would kind of keep life exciting. You know? Have you been in constant pain? No, because not constant pain.
Starting point is 00:20:33 The occasional pain. Would keep life exciting. Yeah, because I think if your Sisyphus. Okay, so I gave you the spaghetti option. Okay. Now the new option is once a day someone comes into your house and just hits you with a hammer. Wherever you are, at some point...
Starting point is 00:20:49 You gotta get a hammer there and hit someone. No, that's scary. What I mean is, if I'm strapped in the same place forever... Okay, once a day, just one of your muscles just tears. Just suddenly, no warning. No. I need to be, because what makes it exciting is
Starting point is 00:21:07 how dull his life is otherwise. If it was like, you are stuck in the same spot forever, you're never moving, you're never leaving that spot. But occasionally, you will experience immense pain. I think it'll change up life enough that it makes it worthwhile.
Starting point is 00:21:23 Makes it preferable to Sisyphus. So yeah, by the by, he didn't strangle the eagle. He shot him with a bow and arrow. Oh, nice. No, I think you're right here. Because there was like a study on boredom. Yeah. Where it was like, we're going to get you in a room.
Starting point is 00:21:35 Nothing is around. All you have is you're strapped to a chair or whatever. There it is. You've got some little device that's on you. And you have a button in front of you. You press that button. A little bit of shock comes into you. Oh, yeah. You've got nothing else to do. And you, and you have a button in front of you. You press that button. A little bit of shock comes into you. You've got nothing else to do.
Starting point is 00:21:48 And some people were like, yeah, whatever. I'm not going to touch it. Some people were like, I'm going to slam that button. Yeah, of course. All it does is give you a little bit of pain. Because it just changes up the world. Yeah, I'm with you. Here's a wild claim.
Starting point is 00:21:59 I would much prefer to be bored lying down than sitting. If I'm bored, if I'm like really bored and I just lie down, I feel less bored than if I just sit down. Are you saying that lying down is exciting? More exciting than sitting, I guess. Is it because sitting requires a bit of effort? Yeah, maybe. We're sitting now and like is it an element?
Starting point is 00:22:20 We have been recording all day, but an element of this sit is tiring to me. Well, it could also just be, I mean, Is it an element? We have been recording all day, but an element of this sit is tiring to me. Well, it could also just be, I mean, I just realized I was sitting with a cushion in an uncomfortable position. Yeah. But no, I don't know. I just feel like it's also funny to compare it to right now because you're being like, well, you're probably bored right now. And you wish you were lying down. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:41 I wish we were recording this on our backs. I guess when you're lying down, you're always at risk of having a sleep. Yeah, is that part of it? I wonder if it's, well, I was thinking that. I was going to say it's easier to like kind of hit like this meditative state. Yeah. Having a nap sitting down. But then. Oh.
Starting point is 00:22:54 In a chair. Oh, yeah. Crossed arms. Yeah. Crossed arms. That's good. An ankle nap. Like a cowboy.
Starting point is 00:23:00 Yeah. Yeehaw. Good naps. So are you saying In that sense Prometheus is preferable Well I just think So I don't know
Starting point is 00:23:09 What I'm inferring there I just think That if someone's like Hey You're locked in this room For five hours Yeah Yes
Starting point is 00:23:15 You can't do anything You're gonna lay down I will lie down Okay I'll probably walk A couple of laps For a bit Do you think
Starting point is 00:23:22 You'd electrocute yourself Yeah Oh I'm gonna slap In that button. The moment the scientists close the door, they're going to hear a bzzz. The lights are going to go out in that building, that facility. They're going to go, what's happening?
Starting point is 00:23:33 What are they doing? You're going to open that door. I'm going to be like, you know, it was a young Einstein with his hair on fire. It was not meant to deliver an electric shock. And I'm like, thank you. I needed that. That was great. I feel fixed for the first time ever. You come back in an hour.
Starting point is 00:23:53 I would press it just because not necessarily out of, well, I guess this would technically count as boredom. Yeah. But it would be curiosity. Yeah, for sure. How strong is this up? Yeah. Oh, what if I hit it for a longer time? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:01 What if I hold it down? What if I move the electrode to my gooch? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What if one was on the gooch, I move the electrode to my gooch? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What if one was on the gooch, one was on my tongue? Let's see what happens. What if I shelved one of the electrodes and put one in my mouth? And with the other hand just tugged on my dick? Everyone else in the experiment has just gone up to one corner.
Starting point is 00:24:19 I'm bored. Being bored makes me horny. You can't do that. You've wrecked the experiment. This is how we get funding pulled What? What? What I was wrong I'm just doing what I would do if I was bored
Starting point is 00:24:32 If I was bored I'm not bored I'm not bored I'm just horny I'm just helping your experiment Pretending I am bored This is what I would do That doesn't help our experiment
Starting point is 00:24:43 Well I don't know then. Okay. Sorry, I'm not smart enough for Mr. Scientist. Can I get my paycheck now? How cool is it that, just quick side note before you go into something that's actually relevant, and I understand why they do this, I think, but it is funny that a lot of the time when you sign up for experiments at university, which makes it sound like that we went to
Starting point is 00:25:07 a crazy laboratory university. Bad scientist uni, yeah. No, I just like that for like psychology, you know, because you're at a uni, so there's uni students studying science classes where they have to do experiments. And it's funny that when you sign up
Starting point is 00:25:23 for experiments, sometimes they're like, oh, we're going to pay you with a $20 gift card. Yeah, I know. Getting paid in gift cards is funny. Sometimes you get paid in the chance to win a gift card. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:32 It is so funny to say, you know what you did in experiments in high school? Like, they would be like, hey, welcome to the animal hybridization. We're going to check you with rabbit genes.
Starting point is 00:25:42 And we're going to give you a $20 Kohl's gift card. A one in five chance of winning a Kmart gift card. Whoa, sold. Oh, no, it just made me sick. I can't even use it. Yeah. No, but I think with Prometheus, you'd come to look forward to the eagle.
Starting point is 00:25:55 Yeah, I think you're right. I think you'd be like, the eagle's coming. That's fucking awesome. Yeah. Hey, bro. Ah! Yeah. See you, man.
Starting point is 00:26:01 Yeah. Even if you weren't lying down, which I assumed I was, even if you were eating a deep squat or whatever it is, at some point your muscles are locking up. Yeah, absolutely. Whatever. You can hang from your wrists. And if they're not breaking or whatever, they get numb.
Starting point is 00:26:19 It's fine. Whatever. And then I can have a little cheeky nap. Although. Because, yes, while the eagle is consuming your liver, that's not going to be 24 hours. No. You've got to think in time.
Starting point is 00:26:29 There's time to be a little bit of a musical. I'm on a rock. I'm lying down. There's an eagle coming on my stomach. It's about to go to town. I'm Prometheus. He's an eagle. My liver's gone. He's an eagle My liver's gone
Starting point is 00:26:46 He's an eagle I stole from God Fucking hell dude Should have taken his mouth He's so loud I don't know His rock opera is so loud He's yelling about what is happening
Starting point is 00:26:59 Eagle in my liver now It's flying away Yeah yeah yeah I'll fix those lyrics later. It's not even a good rock opera. He's got one song. Not one song, but one topic. But also, fair enough, nothing else is happening to him.
Starting point is 00:27:16 The ballad of the mountain I can see from here. What's on that mountain in the distance I can see? The same as all the other mountains that surround me. Maybe I can close my eyes and sing about what I'm thinking about. Oh, no. Closing my eyes, thinking about that eagle. It's funny. Closing my eyes and thinking about what I'm thinking about in the darkness behind my eyes.
Starting point is 00:27:50 It's the eagle. When I close my eyes and I think about what I'm thinking about. When I close my eyes, I see the eagle. The deep black void behind my eyes pulls back to reveal the eyes of the eagle that is about to eat my liver. Stop! No! Oh, my God. I'm bored.
Starting point is 00:28:14 There I am on a rock. Zeus is yelling at me to stop. Did you just rhyme rock with stop? Yes. Stop singing about what's happening to you right now. Nothing else is going on. Leave me alone. Not I punished enough.
Starting point is 00:28:30 Let me sing. You could have more fun with Prometheus. It feels more fun. It feels like you've got more downtime. Obviously, yes, you could take as much time as you like rolling that boulder up the hill. But assuming you have to roll it up as best you can, the whole time you're working. I wonder if you just- The time you get to stop working is when the boulder rolls down the hill.
Starting point is 00:28:51 Then you watch it. In a brief period of time before you have to start going down the hill yourself. Yeah, but think about how awesome that is. You get to watch a rock roll down a hill, probably at random. It's got the same energy as a tie-off rolling down a hill. I didn't think of that. It could roll into someone's house. That's awesome. And you've got to come into the house. Sorry. Sorry. I've got to roll this back up. I've't think of that. It could roll into someone's house. That's awesome.
Starting point is 00:29:05 And you've got to come into the house. Sorry. I've got to roll this back up. I've got to roll this bad boy back up the top. Can you make sure it doesn't hit my house again? No promises. No, but even... I assume it was like a half pipe.
Starting point is 00:29:14 That's still awesome. Oh, yeah, yeah. I'd never even... Yeah, because you let it roll. You could be like, well, I better wait. You could try and chase it down to get it before it stopped rolling
Starting point is 00:29:23 or when you realize that... Or if it's got enough momentum, maybe it rolls all the way up and then it down to get it before it stopped rolling or when you realise that or if it's got enough momentum maybe it goes like it rolls all the way up and then it rolls all the way back down and maybe you can try and catch it or get hit by it but also you're immortal
Starting point is 00:29:33 so for the fun you know push it to the top of the hill and then just lie down as the rock rolls over you that's fun or yeah push it to the top
Starting point is 00:29:42 and then try and run down the hill and see how quickly it can catch you. The idea of catching the ball with your head is very appealing. But then even, like, that also ties into it as, like, all right, whoa, almost, I drank too much Coke. Yeah, so, like, you're at the bottom, you're about to push the boulder up, and you're like, all right, my best time's 16 minutes.
Starting point is 00:30:01 Yeah, yeah, that's true. Let's try and beat that. Let's try, yeah, get it up as quick as possible. Time trial, baby. Yeah, that's true. You've got that angel that's sitting there. Time me! Time me! You look so stupid.
Starting point is 00:30:12 Rushing a ball up a hill. What was that? I wasn't counting. I'll count next time. Another thing as well, as Sisyphus, you have your hands free, so you can scratchus, you have your hands free. So you can do,
Starting point is 00:30:26 like, you know, you can scratch yourself. Oh, that's true. Scratch your ass. Scratch your ass. You mean like you've got your back against the boulder. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:33 Well, the boulder's not stuck to your hands. Exactly. No, yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. Whereas, say, if, you know, in the downtime that Prometheus has,
Starting point is 00:30:40 you know, maybe he's got an itchy nose. You can't get to that. Oh, true. Maybe he's like, well, this is, he's getting in my liver. It has turned weirdly sexual for me. Time to tug my nuts.
Starting point is 00:30:50 I want to tug my nuts. I'm rigid, but there's nothing I can do about it. You can try and move his feet up there, I guess. I just got to hope when the eagle lands, his tail feathers brush against my dick and nuts. If he's bored enough and horny enough, could he just wiggle his hips to make himself cum? Do you reckon that that slight momentum would be enough? You could try and move yourself up so you can try and self-suck. I think his feet are something, usually.
Starting point is 00:31:16 I thought it was just his hands. No, but can't you, like, there's those fellas who have figured out how to just cum on command. The hands-free-o, as it were. And I think that's just like Kegels. And you've got nothing but time to do Kegels, baby. Okay, okay, okay. So yeah, he could Kegel himself to orgasm.
Starting point is 00:31:31 And it's a kind of good way to get back at the eagle. I'm coming. The eagle comes down. You're like, yeah, but sit and come, because I've just combed all my pants. And I'm going to do the same again tomorrow and the next day, and it's just going to get older and older and more coming. I'm going to get caked in a week to month old jism
Starting point is 00:31:48 There's this giant eagle flapping down About to just slice open your belly to eat your liver Then bang! Boom! Combed on the eagle What do you think about that, buddy? Bro, I'm being punished to you absolute cunt Whatever
Starting point is 00:32:04 Aren't there robots sometimes? Maybe. See how well you can soar with all your fucking feathers gummed up, you son of a bastard. Yeah, exactly, you piece of shit eagle. Stop eating me.
Starting point is 00:32:13 I'm, oh my God, I can't stop eating you. I want to not, you know what? Coming on the eagle. Your liver tastes crust. Coming on the eagle, that's coming to me
Starting point is 00:32:25 We're both coming Different kinds are coming We're both coming I was going to annoy the eagle too Oh man Oh my god Would you maybe form Like a lovely little kingship
Starting point is 00:32:38 With that eagle I think so I think because you'd talk to it Eventually Stockholm syndrome Yourself with the eagle Well the eagle's also being punished. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:45 And like a lot of mythology. The rock is being punished. The eagle may talk back eventually. Yeah, yeah. Not to this point. Or you'll just imagine it will. Yeah. Same with the rock.
Starting point is 00:32:55 You'll imagine the rock. Yeah. What would you say to the eagle? Hey. How would you start that friendship? Hello. We're both fucked up here. Hey.
Starting point is 00:33:04 Do you have to do this? Are you the same eagle? Does that liver taste nice? It tastes like liver. It's pretty good. It's a bit rich. Yeah, I guess. Do you have to do this every day?
Starting point is 00:33:14 I do. I've done an eagle sin. I gave fire to the eagles. They didn't know what to do with it. Do you have to do this? Is there a certain time limit? I just get a comment at some point. Do you have to do this? Is there a certain time limit? I just got a comment that I'm pointing at. Imagine you have to eat a bowl of spaghetti.
Starting point is 00:33:29 Yeah. You go to your neighbor's house once a day and eat a bowl of spaghetti. Eat a bowl of spaghetti, yeah. It's funny to say the same things to The Rock. Hey, man, do you have to do this? Yeah. Yeah. I took fire to The Rock.
Starting point is 00:33:41 Didn't do anything with it. I gave Rock fire to The Rock. That's not even what I did. to a rock. Didn't do anything with it. I gave rock fire to the rocks. That's not even what I did. Most people
Starting point is 00:33:47 with ironic punishments are a Prometheus situation. You're just different. Yeah. Oh, okay. Fair enough. Because at some point you just have a conversation
Starting point is 00:33:57 with said eagle and you either imagine it talks back or it does or it doesn't, whatever. But yeah, you'd kind of have little stories.
Starting point is 00:34:04 You'd be like, where does that eagle go? What that eagle like little what is what does that eagle life live absolutely you'd imagine it you have an eagle wife and or husband eagle can you bring them next time they can eat my other bits i don't give a yeah can i see the kids he's bringing the kids oh no that would be bad though because it's only the immortal liver so you get eaten and then you just stay in. So you're like, man, I'm in so much pain, can't wait for this to grow back. They just feel your liver
Starting point is 00:34:29 grow back, and that's it. That's how good, like, maybe a blessing. Oh, yeah. Hey, eagle, eat my head. Yeah, everything is like, you're gone. You've now become eagle excrement, except your liver just, like, on a rock, just every now and again. Could an eagle, this is crazy.
Starting point is 00:34:46 Eat a human head? No, get to your brain. Yeah. Yeah. How? Crack your head like an egg. Can an eagle get into a human skull? I don't think so.
Starting point is 00:34:54 What I want to do is I want to pick up a turtle. And they fly up and they drop the turtle on your head. Think about, we live in fucking Australia. Yeah. The fucking mad. A man with a tougher human skull. Yeah, a man with a tougher human skull. I ain't going to like, it'll go through my Australia. Yeah. The fucking mad... A man with tougher human skulls? Yeah, a man ain't gonna like... It'll go through my eyes.
Starting point is 00:35:07 Yeah. Yeah, that's true. I guess it can get to your brain that way. Yeah. I was just thinking... The soft bits. Because you were like, well, it eats your head and then you're not there anymore. And I was like, or are you just without a face?
Starting point is 00:35:18 Yeah. Are you like, this didn't work out! Now I can never see the eagle coming. Oh, no. Or scream. The eagle ate my eyes. I ate my eyes. You're not saying words anymore.
Starting point is 00:35:34 I'm bones now. You're just being like, eat his fucking voice. Eat his voice box. That's the love of God. If you're just bones, you're not saying shit. You're just going to open mouth and then you'll live up every day in the bones. It's got to be regrowing everything. It must be.
Starting point is 00:35:48 I get feasts on your liver, sure, but everything has to grow back. Otherwise, you know. What was to stop the eagle from being like, I'm going to try something else. I'm going to eat this whole man. Yeah. I'm going to bring my whole eagle family here. Yeah. Bring the eagle kids.
Starting point is 00:36:00 Yeah, let everybody have a taste. Yeah. So what's better? Are we thinking Prometheus still? I still think Prometheus because of the randomness. Ah, but then again, maybe, I don't know if I'm talking out of turn here, maybe I feel you can have a bit more fun as Sisyphus. I feel like with
Starting point is 00:36:13 Sisyphus, you have more agency. Yeah. You know, as Prometheus, stuff happens to you, but as Sisyphus, hey, you don't charge much, but you're going to charge that rock. Yeah. That's your rock. Yeah, but it's not property. Yeah, you do, but now you. Yeah. That's your rock. Yeah, but you've got property. Yeah, you do, but now you have responsibility.
Starting point is 00:36:28 That's true. Whereas Prometheus, I got no responsibility. Well, this is kind of- I had responsibility. I gave fire to the humans. Yeah, yeah. Now I'm good.
Starting point is 00:36:35 You're out, baby. Well, this is when you actually pare it back. Maybe this is actually secretly a sequel to an episode we've done before. Whoa. Go on.
Starting point is 00:36:42 Because you've got a choice of no agency or property and responsibility. So do you want to be suddenly 30 or 17 again? Whoa. That's a good point. This is like an evolution of that. That's crazy.
Starting point is 00:36:56 Because, yeah, I think at first I was like, Sisyphus seems like the right answer because pushing a rock's not that hard and you're not in pain. But the lying there and being in pain would become meditative. Yeah. But now I've gone back to Sisyphus and I'm like, fucking give me that fucking rock. Well, because you're like- I'm going to do tricks with it and shit.
Starting point is 00:37:14 I'm in charge of this rock. Yeah. I say where this rock goes. Yeah. Well, I don't really. It goes up. But I get to decide what part of the mountain I go on. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:24 I get to decide how quickly I push it away. I get to decide where I'm going to put it up the mountain again. You can still, in theory, talk to people. You can talk how fast you're going to push that rock. Would you come hang out with me if I got Sisyphus'd? I might walk up the hill with you once or twice a week. Oh, that's kind of you guys. Thanks, man.
Starting point is 00:37:43 I'll test out some songs I've been writing while I was strapped to a rock. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, man, how'd you get out? Oh, Hercules came and broke the eagle's neck. Could you get him to break my rock? I don't know if that helps. Could you try? Nah.
Starting point is 00:37:56 Yeah, I don't know if that would do anything. Yeah, but you could ask. Yeah, I don't know. Oh, I'll ask. I'll put in a good word. It sounds like you're not going to ask. I'm going to ask. Yeah, I'll figure it out.
Starting point is 00:38:05 He's very busy doing his 12 labors, dude. Yeah, he caught a river or not. No, actually, that was Achilles. Yeah, nice. It's like, yeah, the rock, I mean, killing an eagle, that was one of, like, you know, because great renown. Yeah, but it wouldn't be hard for him to break my rock. Yeah, but is that, you know, killing a big eagle to free Prometheus?
Starting point is 00:38:19 Right. Killing a big rock? Is that? Sick, dude. Every time. Yeah, no, like destroying a rock, is that? You're going to go get that. Yeah, I have to.
Starting point is 00:38:30 Otherwise that angel gets really fucking pissed off. He gets pissed off if I don't get that rock, dude. But, yeah, well, hey, put in a good word. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What have you done those 12 labors? Right. Yeah, when I see him next. Then you leave to the angel.
Starting point is 00:38:43 They're not going to fucking ask you. I have such bad friends. The angel's like,, when I see him next. Then you leave to the angel. I'm like, they're not going to fucking ask him. The angel's like- I have such bad friends. The angel's like, well, I'm still here. If they broke the rock, I'd probably just make another rock. Also, push that rock. Stop talking to it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:53 Shut the fuck up. Pretend I'm not here. Fuck. Fuck the world. He's going to waste his time with his pissy rock. Yeah. At least, something with the rock, with the Sisyphus, you drop the boulder down the hill. That's satisfying.
Starting point is 00:39:04 Pushing the boulder down the hill. But also, maybe you slide down the hill after the rock. Yeah.us, you drop the boulder down the hill. That's satisfying, pushing a boulder down the hill. But also, maybe you slide down the hill after the rock. Yeah. Get a bit of fun. Roll down the hill. Hold on to the boulder, roll with it. Stand on the boulder and do that classic cartoon thing where you're running on top of the rock, but it's... Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:18 And even if it doesn't work and you just get flung into the mountain. Who cares? You're not dying. Yeah, it's a bit of fun. Yeah. Yeah, so I think it is, yeah, Sisyphus. Because again, yes, you are in charge of that rock, but also like, well, if you don't push it fast enough,
Starting point is 00:39:31 what are they going to do? Maybe push it harder? Yeah, that's true. What can they do? They've got an angel there yelling at me. Well, okay. Yeah. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:39:38 I guess maybe they could just, and you wouldn't exist anymore. Blessing. Yeah, that's true. That is nice. That is nice. What about, there's a third guy to this collection. Now, I can't quite
Starting point is 00:39:48 remember his name, but I remember his punishment. He basically tried to make the gods eat his son. Okay. And the gods weren't chill about that.
Starting point is 00:39:56 So what they did is they put him in, he's in a pool of water, and there's a fruit tree above him. And every time he tries to bend down to drink the water,
Starting point is 00:40:03 it goes into the earth. And every time he tries to reach up and eat a piece of fruit, Tantalus, the tree goes away. Is that better than either Sisyphus or Prometheus in terms of punishment? No. I think that that actually is the worst one. Yeah, that sounds like the worst. It just sounds annoying.
Starting point is 00:40:20 Because you're hungry and thirsty, and you're constantly bending over and reaching up. But also, I guess you could just be like, well, I know it's not going to work. So then the punishment is just standing in a pool of water. Which doesn't sound fun, I guess. Can I swim in the water? Wet feet. No, you have to stand.
Starting point is 00:40:38 You're stuck in a pool of water. So then I go down. You bend down, you're like, I'm thirsty. I sit down. The water retreats away. So now I'm sitting in mud? Well, I think you actually just can't and you're like, I'm bursting. I sit down. The water retreats away. So now I'm sitting in mud. Well, I think you actually just can't.
Starting point is 00:40:47 You're just stuck standing. Yeah. Or you can kneel down but you can't sit. You would have to squat. So I can't lie down. No.
Starting point is 00:40:53 I can't drown myself in the mud. No. You could squat in mud or you can reach up to a tree that's too high away full of fruit. That's it?
Starting point is 00:41:00 That's it. Can't go for a walk? No, you can't leave. This sounds the worst. You can't do shit. You just stand there. You can't even make a walk? No you can't leave This sounds the worst You can't do shit You just stand there Can't even make a sweet song You can sing about it
Starting point is 00:41:08 Singing about the fruit That's out of my reach Gonna bend down And quench my thirst Oh no I forgot that the water Goes away when I squat down Man I'd love a piece of fruit
Starting point is 00:41:20 Oh no Maybe there's a fish in the water. I'm not gonna bend down. Nah. Oh wait, there was fruit from before. I'll just eat that. I'll just grab it from the tree. Fuck! It is funny because so that punishment is either
Starting point is 00:41:37 you stand forever in a pool of water because you know you can't get a drink or a piece of fruit so you give up or you're cursed so that you forget that. I think it's just to everything you're like, oh I'd love a drink or a piece of fruit so you give up. Or you're cursed so that you forget that. I think it's just... It's everything. You're like, oh, I'd love a drink of water. The way around that is to piss off the gods that are punishing you. It's just to be sullen.
Starting point is 00:41:52 Yeah. And like, ha-ha, we've got you. No, you don't. I don't even care. I hate fruit and water. Good even. I want Coke and hot dogs. Coke and hot dogs, good combo.
Starting point is 00:42:02 If you can give me that, that would be sick. Otherwise, I don't give a shit, dude. Can't give you a hot dog, dude. A hot dog would be fucking amazing. It's been long enough from lunch that I'm like, hot dog? Are you kidding me? Fuck, dude.
Starting point is 00:42:11 Dude, I can't even fucking remember the last time I had a hot dog. Dude, they're the best meal on earth. They make up for everything else about being alive. Nothing hurts you when you've just eaten a hot dog. True philosophical belief. You have life's many maladies on one end of the scale and the humble hot dog on the other, keeping us from the brink.
Starting point is 00:42:32 Yes. If you're having a bad day today, why not try eating a hot dog? Eat a single hot dog and you'll be on cloud nine. Does it change anything with Tantalus if it's different fruit trees? What do you mean? So like there's a cherry tree.
Starting point is 00:42:47 So if you're just standing in a big pool of water and you can walk around. No, no, no. Maybe just like in your reach or whatever. Surrounding you. Surrounding you. Or you walk around, say you're in an orchard of different kinds of trees. Is it a different sequence too? Like a milk pool, a coke pool?
Starting point is 00:43:02 Let's say yes. I honestly think the worst variation of this is probably the one that they are talking about, where your feet are firmly planted. The tree is directly above you, so you have to really look up for it. And when you reach, because it's directly above your head.
Starting point is 00:43:16 When you reach up, you can't quite tell how far away it is. And then you have to reach directly down to drink, and then it recedes. Because if it's heaps of stuff, you have to reach directly down to drink, and then it recedes. But if I don't... Because if it's heaps of stuff, you're like, ooh. You can't... Still not getting anything, but yeah, this is good.
Starting point is 00:43:31 Trying to pick a cherry. Nah. How about a peach? Also no. That's a crazy question. Trying to have some milk. Where'd it go? Is it more entertaining to reach for one fruit you can't have
Starting point is 00:43:45 or many fruit I say many and you're like whoa I didn't get a cherry let's see what it's like when I don't get a peach whoa
Starting point is 00:43:53 I think the yeah because I'm like well whatever different stimulation different movements is it a different it is different movements
Starting point is 00:44:00 it is different movements say it's a fig tree always a fig tree or say pomegranates I love their pomegranates they'll be like I can't get a pomegranate oh well oh fig tree. Or say pomegranates. They love their pomegranates. They'll be like, I can't get a pomegranate. Oh, well.
Starting point is 00:44:06 Oh, some water. Yeah, well. Oh, pomegranate. Oh, well. Yeah. Well, I'm done, right? Yeah. Whereas I'm like,
Starting point is 00:44:13 oh, pomegranate. Oh, I tried to grab. No, it's there. Oh, there's a banana tree over there. Maybe I'll try the banana tree. No. But what about peach tree? What if your punishment was this, Samit?
Starting point is 00:44:22 Every night, I promise I'm going to make you a meal, but I never make it. Is it more exciting if it's different meals? No. If I say, tonight I'm going to make you spaghetti, and you say, that's awesome. And then I'm like, you know that spaghetti? It's not happening. I'm not going to do it.
Starting point is 00:44:39 And then the next night I say, tonight I'm going to make you spaghetti. And then you're like, oh, that's great. And then it's not going to happen. But then I'm like, spaghetti? I'm not going to happen. And then I're like, oh, that's great. And then it's not going to happen. But then I'm like, spaghetti? I'm not going to happen. And then I'm like, chicken cacciatore? Oh, yeah. It's not going to happen.
Starting point is 00:44:49 No, no, no, no. The second one. It's more exciting. It's more exciting. Because I know you failed me with the spaghetti. You're giving me hope. Yeah. I see.
Starting point is 00:44:57 But you might get the chicken cacciatore. Yeah. He fucked up the spaghetti, but maybe I'm getting chicken cacciatore. He fucked up the chicken cacciatore, but maybe I'm getting some apricot chicken. Yeah. He fucked that up, but maybe how could you chicken cacciatore. You fucked up the chicken cacciatore, but maybe I'm getting some apricot chicken. You fucked that up, but maybe how could you ruin a ham and cheese toasty? I'm not giving you the ham and cheese toasty. I'm not giving you the ham and cheese toasty, but maybe
Starting point is 00:45:12 I'm getting a muffin with some peanut butter on it. You get different enrichments from the things you don't get. Not getting different things. Also, just the visual stimulation. Yes, absolutely. Like, oh, the cherries jiggle in a certain way when they retract retract That's funny I'm making it horny again
Starting point is 00:45:26 If I move my hand like this The peach kind of looks Like an ass jiggling Doing this with one hand And jerking off Is an awesome motion Yeah And then all you gotta do
Starting point is 00:45:36 Is go down into the water And the gum gets sucked out Yeah Yeah Gets sucked into whatever Suicide system you're attached to I think there is a real Th threat with all three of these punishments that you will just masturbate your life away.
Starting point is 00:45:51 Like either your previous doing kegels to come without your hands, your Sisyphus one-handedly rolling the boulder and whacking off with the other. Secretly so the angel can't see. The angel being like, he's really up against the boulder there. What's he doing there? The countless visualizing fuckable fruits. Making the peach jiggle so that you can cum. A real problem.
Starting point is 00:46:14 And the thing about it, pass the time. And it probably wouldn't. I mean, how many times a day do you have to cum before you're bored of it? You know what I mean? Orgasms do feel good even when they're not fun Absolutely absolutely you kind of always for for your kid on the fifth come you don't feel any joy. Oh, yes joy I'm just saying it's a bit boring now. Yeah Yeah It only stops
Starting point is 00:46:42 But if I'm getting my liver at yeah Plus it might make the boulder like quicker it only stops if it hurts yeah it only stops if it hurts but if I'm getting my liver out who cares yeah life is pain who cares yeah come your nuts plus it might make the boulder like quicker oh yeah and if you're a tantalus
Starting point is 00:46:51 or whatever you're doing this to the cherries yeah today's a cherry day yeah you're coming at the cherries jiggling and then you're like let's move around to a peach
Starting point is 00:46:59 a watermelon yeah you got a harum of fruit around you to make a jiggle how's that banana wiggle yeah what that banana do woo the banana's flopping like that oh you're like that's awesome You've got a harum of fruit around you to make a jiggle with your hand. What'd that banana do?
Starting point is 00:47:08 The banana's flopping like that. You're like, that's awesome. And then by the time you've made it back to cherries, cherries are exciting again. That's good. That's the best one. That's the best one. Because you can have sex with all the fruit.
Starting point is 00:47:20 And Prometheus is the worst one because that actually is secretly the most boring. Yes, absolutely. I think that's it. I think we've figured it out. We did it. Easy. Another classic episode of Plumbing the Death Star where they hit you with a question you were expecting and you were excited.
Starting point is 00:47:31 And on that note, I've been Joel. I've been Jackson. I've also been Joel. This has been another episode of Plumbing the Death Star and I don't know why I'm doing this sign-off for this show, but see you in the comments. Let us know. Who did you fuck with the most of us three or the punishment punishments okay in many ways the punishments probably
Starting point is 00:47:51 suit each of us which one's who's which i reckon you're i reckon i'm fruit boy yeah you're fruit boy i reckon i'm probably you're a bolder boy yeah yeah that was actually kind of easy that was the easiest That was actually kind of easy. That was the easiest one thing we've ever done. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, see you next week. Bye!

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