Plumbing the Death Star - Who is Peter Quill's Father?

Episode Date: March 9, 2015

In which our heroes get hooked on a feeling, get high on believing and try to figure out the identity of Peter Quill’s father. We look at the potential of DCs Hawkman swinging by, the rather selective colour palette of Marvel’s aliens and whether or not Mama Quill banged a bird. Jackson doesn't know enough about the Marvel Universe to make a reasonable guess, Zammit uses his extensive knowledge to make a couple of possible candidates but ruins it all by making a planet sized error, and Duscher inevitably suggests the only man right for the job. So gather your team of mismatched antiheroes, hold onto an infinity gem for far too long, and try and do a something good. Or something bad. Really, it’s up to you, we’re not your father.Want to help Star Lord afford a paternity test? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help provide some closure for baby boy Quill.And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least thirty eight books about seducing beings from another planet. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sands Pants Radio. No batteries included. Are you the Hulk? Do you need more shirts because you keep tearing them apart? Well head to redbubble.com and search for Sands Pants Radio and you can get some sick clothes with someone's face on it. Hey guys and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star. We'll be asking important questions like, who is Peter Clare's father? When you hold me in your arms so tight, don't let me know.

Everything's alright. Okay, so we're doing this question for a very specific fan. Tleki, you know who you are. Thank you for suggesting this. Solid. So there's only several things we know about Peter Quill, Star-Lord, Dad. Who could it be? We're given some hints in the movie itself.

So we know that his mom banged an angel, or at least what she perceived was an angel. Something made of light. So we're assuming that is an angel. We're assuming he's bright whoever he is. Whoever he is. Or it could have been her brain cancer playing tricks with her. We don't know. So that's one thing. I guess this would probably be a good

time to just jump in and point out. We are all well aware that Jason is Peter Qule's father in the comic books. I was going to get to that. We don't care about that right now, though. Again, this is why. Not at all. Jumping down my throat. James Gunn, director of Guardians of the Galaxy.

Again, I was going to bring that up after the other two points, but hey, keep going. James Gunn, director of Guardians of the Galaxy, the film, said in an interview, Jason, not Peter Caw's father. Nope. Not in my script. He's not the daddy. He's not the daddy. You are not the father.

Here are the things that we know. Luke, I am your father. Just kidding. One, that his mum banged an angel. Yep. That two, Yondu knows him and that he thinks the jackass. And three, that it's an ancient race that we haven't seen before before and for james gunn in interviews about the movie has said that it's not jason but we already know that because dusha rudely interrupted me i've already said that i know

by interrupting so it's not jason of sparta although spa tax who knows anyway the spa toy No, Spartax. Spartax? Who knows? Anyway, the Spartoy race, or Mr. Knife as he's known now. Mr. Knife? His name is Mr. Knife? Jason is now an evil... Well, he's always been evil, but he's now the nefarious Mr. Knife. What's more cosmic than a knife? Exactly. That's my question.

It's like when you go to someone's kitchen. There's a fork. You can work with that. A spoon, that's good. Knife? Am I in the cosmos here that's some space age bullshit so it can't be any of the things that we've seen or any of the people that we've uh who are belonging to a race that we know of so it can't be human it can't be kree it can't

be inhuman plus he had to be knocking around on earth sometime in the early 80s it can't be whatever yondu is can't be zandarian it can't be whatever Yondu is. It can't be Zandarian. It can't be whatever Yondu is. It can't be any of the pink people that we see banging around in Zandala. It can't be Yondu himself. It can't be Yondu himself. He's like, nah, he's a jackass. It's me.

I'm a piece of shit. I hate myself. Yondu, are you all right? Nah, man. So I'm going to put forward my... I've got a couple of suggestions. Yeah, please. A couple of potential daddies.

Get the ball rolling. Baby daddies, get the ball rolling. I'm going to put forward Emperor Daken, Namani from the Shi'a Emperor. Wait, from the Shi'a Empire. Yeah, not from the Emperor himself. What's up, them? So he's from the Shi'a Empire.

Okay. He is... Basically, Shi Shia are basically Bird people Sick I love it There's your angel reference Wait how bird are these people They look like people but their heads are all feathered and shit

I thought you were going to say they look like people But they have bird heads Now if I'm sad just like a seagull head Bopping from side to side Well that's pretty much how I record episodes Babin what head bopping from side to side With your a seagull head popping from side to side? Well, that's pretty much how I record episodes. Babin, what, head popping from side to side with your big seagull head? Yes. Yeah.

Stealing chips. He's potentially angel-like. Okay. Again, they could kind of fuck with the race a little bit, make him a bit more birdy, give him wings or some shit. Who knows? I don't care. So bird people.

In the comics, when there was a war between the Kree and the Skrulls and the Zandalarians, all this kind of stuff, the Shi'ar were suspiciously absent. They were all banging Star-Lord's mom. In the film. So the Shi'ar are a very big part of the galactic empire of the Marvel Universe. And them being absent may be a little bit suspicious, right? And also it keeps the emperor thing, son of an emperor, going.

I suppose. So he's not the son of Emperor Jason, but he's the son of Emperor Daken. And Daken is a power-hungry piece of shit, and he's insane. That sounds like a jackass. A bit of a jackass. He's always wanting the Emkran crystal to destroy reality, which you could substitute for one of the reality gems in this thing, so you make him a bit of a dick.

I'm going to give you... However, movie rights is more attached to the X-Men. Don't know if Fox have control of it. I'm going to blow out my odds for that. I was going to say 10 to 1. I'm going to blow it out to 15 to 1. My argument being that could be too gross for a movie. But Xavier banged a sheer on.

It was fine for Xavier. In a comic book. And everything is okay in a comic book. That's true. In movies, when people start seeing bird people banging ladies. I feel like they're not just going to show full pen. A big old bird wang just penetrating stuff. Also, they're like human, avian kind of things.

Birds have a cloaca. Does he? Does the good emperor? I don't know. I'm going 20 to 1 does Peter Quill have a core locker I feel like

at that birth scene at the start of Guardians of the Galaxy somebody would have pointed it out yeah it's the egg they're like this ain't right

so that's a possibility 20 to 1 20 to 1 20 to 1 I'll agree with that also because the X-Men thing makes it a bit tougher yeah exactly but it's space X-Men shit so you don't know the X-Men thing makes it a bit tougher but it's space X-Men shit

so you don't know the X-Men haven't been to space yet and maybe we'll never go maybe we'll never see these gross bird people they're not gross bird people they're just humans with feathered hairstyles in the shape of a pyramid fuck off comics fuck off comics in a lot of like why is it never like oh

shit earth's being invaded by the carrick and they're just like gas people it's always like it's basically a guy it's basically a guy but he's green it's a guy but he has pyramid bird hair yeah yeah it's just different hair yeah i. I think also, like, sharp claws on their hands. Do they have a beak? Like talons? That's the one. Any beaks? No beaks.

What are the beaks? Sometimes they have weird Wolverine-style hair, but feathered as well. So they're basically just dudes. Yeah, dudes and ladies. Rad dudes. And, like, Lalandra, who's the one that Xavier banged, her sister. I forget her name at the top of my head right now. But like, she's evil and shit.

And she sometimes wears like a feather cape. But I don't know if it was a feather cape or if it was actual wings. It's fucked up that they can conceive a child, though. 25 to 1. It's not looking good. Alright, I will put out a person that I think may be the father. Someone that would fit into the Marvel Cinematic Universe

probably a little easier than a Birdman. That's another problem. With the Academy Award winning film Birdman. You can just get Michael Keaton to play John. Have we bumped it up now a little bit?

Back to 50 to 1? 1 for 1. Okay. It's a sure thing. No, it's 20 to 1 of it happening. 30 to 1, Michael Keaton playing the titular. I think that's only 10 different. Yeah, titular, Birdman.

I don't think he's called Birdman. Yes. I know he is in the film Birdman, but not the Birdman Zammert Well no, because of this crossover he will just be Birdman Alright His gritty origin reboot will be he's actually an alien race thing Done

Anyway, I'm going to put out someone that I think might fit into Marvel Cinematic Universe slightly better than Birdman Someone that could potentially be Peter Cole's father, Nova. Who is them? Richard Rider? Dick Rider? Dick Rider.

Dick Rider? Like Ghost Rider but... On a wang. Richard Rider who was once known as Nova Prime, that Richard Rider? That's the one. Tell me him. Well, okay, so in Guardians of the Galaxy, we're introduced to the Nova Well, okay. So in Guardians of the Galaxy, we're introduced to the Nova Corps.

Yes. Nova is part of the Nova Corps and is... Yeah, he's not shown in the film at all. Fans were expecting him to make a sneaky appearance. Nothing. When Nathan Fillion was announced that he was having a sneaky cameo, people were like,

oh my God, he's going to play Nova. It's going to be great. He didn't. He played a guy that got picked up by his nose. No one recognized him at all. Oh, yes. The perfect cameo. The perfect surprise.

Yeah, so Nova, so basically the description we get of Peter Quill's father doesn't really match Nova in the film, but the Marvel Cinematic Universe they don't really seem to give a shit that's true, they have liberties they have liberties, and it's good

that's what makes these films better than other amazing Spider-Man films fuck those movies that is very true you could probably change Nova, first of all I'm just going to go out on a limb here the Nova suit is white

isn't it? no, it's blue isn't it? the Nova suit is blue and gold and has like a red star in the helmet that's close to white angel-y as hell and they do fly and shit and he's got a

cannonball from the X-Men when he's drawn a cannonball from the X-Men when he's drawn at nine vulnerable blasting, and he can kind of have blasty pants kind of. Basically from the waist down is energy. Sick. Yeah, so pretty much he could be described as an angel. What I just did there, hard to explain, easy to draw.

Yeah. Anyway. Okay, so the bottom half of his legs would just be fire in a comic book. Like a rocket ship. Like his legs were the exhaust of a rocket ship. Yes. There we go. Like an angel.

Like a biblical angel. A biblical angel. Isn't it like a circle with wings and eyes and shit? Yeah. They moved rocks. That was... I don't know who you're talking about. Angel Gabriel. They moved rocks. That was... I don't know who you're talking about. Angel Gabriel.

Oh, yes. I was thinking of the other... Angel from X-Men? Noah. When he's making Professor Xavier's Zen Garden? Aronofsky's are angels. We were just big old rock men. Yeah, there's a lot of angels. The Bible.

There are like seven different kinds. Hard to plumb the Bible. So Nova? Yeah, I think that Nova Prime could be... Was he knocking about Earth in the 70s? Well, he is an Earth man, and he becomes Nova Prime when the Nova Corps get wiped out, and so basically with the Nova Force,

it's just basically... Think of what we're doing with the Sith. How there was like a giant finite amount of force power. Yeah, okay. Going to like 10 Sith. So it's like a giant finite amount of Nova force? Going to like say 100 Nova people or whatever. And so when all of them died...

He got all the Nova goodness. He was the one survivor and he just became insanely powerful. He's a human fella. But I'm going to bring that story but say the reverse happens. Started out with just the one survivor and he just became insanely powerful. He's a human fella. I'm going to bring that story, but say the reverse happens. Started out with just the one guy, was insanely powerful, and that's when the pregnancy happened, and then he sort of founded the Nova Corps, which spread his power out.

So that's why the Nova Corps don't recognise this ancient race. I don't know, because I'm thinking they would have traces of Zandalari in that and be like... Five to one. I would put that below Emperor Dakan. Jesus. Yeah, sorry, mate. I fucked up.

I thought that was going to win. Again, because Roman Day is in the Galaxy, and he's basically Nova's mentor. Yeah. I just feel like they'd remember. Also, he's not an ancient race. He's just a guy. He's a guy.

And also, the current Nova is also a young kid, so they probably wouldn't go for a young Nova for the interest of the film. Also, making your dad called Dick Rider, again, 55 to 1. Like, Marvel's not going to show a cloaca, but they're also probably not going to name somebody Dick Rider. Fine, 55 to 1. Oh, okay. we're not going to name somebody dick right fine 55 dawn oh okay well so i'm a dc fanboy not a marvel fanboy and the whole time i've been racking my brain for space marvel we we do have reality gems we could do like a open up the fabric okay hawkman's an ancient race

He's from a planet I think it's called Hawkworld And the reason Hawkman flies is because I like that they don't know what we earthlings call a hawk They clearly just are like Somehow Maybe we got the word from them In like this weird millennial

Just understanding between races. We're like, yeah, these things are called hawks in our lizard brain being like, they're from that weird hawk planet. They're from the hawk planet. They look like the hawks from the hawk planet. Hawkman has wings. He's an alien. He's knocking around in the 70s. Is he a dick?

Yeah, he's not the nicest guy. Richard Rider, I would say, is too nice. I would say, no, because they say he's a dick. His name is Dick Rider. They're not lying. He's jackass. Maybe it's an actual mule. Okay, Ancient Race, the mule.

Oh, lady. Lady Star-Lord, why? Mama Star-Lord, why? It also explains why the Nova quad just don't know what it is, because they're not from Earth. There's no mules in space. Mama Quill took a trip down to Tijuana. It was not great.

Yeah, took a ride. Well, Hawkman is better than what my original choice was going to be before you opened up to DC. I was like, space marvel Galactus. Oh, actually. That would ruin her. Well, no, because Galactus can... What about the Silver Surfer? He's bright.

Hey! Earned by Fox. Same problem as DC. Father might as well be Batman. Yes. Same problem as maybe Emperor Daken. And the same problem as not Nova. Fuck yeah. 25 to 1. What about Galactus? Okay. Earned by Fantastic Four. Oh, fuck yeah 25 to 1 what about galactus okay owned by fantastic

4 oh fuck yeah he is too fuck fuck i'm having a bad time boxed um well i'm gonna give hawkman if he was not a dc character was a marvel character probably the best bet out of all of us so far yes but then he's a dc character clearly no no and also, Hawkman's whole deal Is that he's forever entwined with Hawkgirl And every time they die they get reincarnated Again together And it's like a love that lasts forever So the idea that Hawkman

That went off and just banged Star-Lord's mom And like comes back to the fucking Justice League HQ Off in space and Hawk is like, where the fuck have you been? He's like, I just don't even worry about it You smell like Marvel is what you smell like You smell like Marvel Woman Ejected into the cosmos

Reincarnated together Yes so maybe not Hawke man So I'm putting him as like a good maybe a thousand to one He's like an outsider. I've got some ideas here which I thought were maybe even more of an outsider, but no, he was like a definite, definite outsider. All right, since you're going to go for...

I'm going to put like a one here. I don't think an outsider. I think actually a good chance here. Oh. I'm going to put in Gladiator, otherwise known as Clark, who is another sort of link to the Shia. For a second you meant Russell Crowe's gladiator, and I thought you fucked me when you were like,

no, no, no, I got a serious answer. Gladiator. Maximus, the gladiator from Gladiator. Russell Bloody Crowe. Russell Bloody Crowe. Mad Max. He's in the Shi'ar Imperial Guard. Yeah.

He's actually currently now in the comics. I believe he is the emperor of the Shi'ar. Okay. Yeah. He's actually currently now in the comics. I believe he is the emperor of the Shi'ar. After all, their Civil War bullshit went down. So he's basically a purple dude with a mohawk. Sick. I'm fucking into it. He can fly. So again, angel.

Is he like a purple yendu? Yeah, but like with a more of a kick-ass mohawk. Basically, he's the Marvel's answer to if they ever need Superman and they can't be bothered using Hyperion. They just chuck in Yendu? They chuck in Gladiator. Gladiator? Yes.

Also, Purple Yendu sounds like a gross sex move. It does. I'm going to give her the old Purple Yendu if she's not careful. Whoops. So he's from the Stontian race or Stontian race. And maybe they could be rare.

Maybe they could be ancient because they haven't popped up yet. Yeah. He's basically powers are basically all these Stontian races they have to have, they've got all these kick-ass powers if they are completely devoted to a purpose. And their powers come from complete and utter self-confidence.

Like he could beat Superman if he thought he could beat Superman. But if he thought he couldn't, he would lose. So basically, he's just an arrogant, self-confident prick who I think Yondu would be like, what a jackass. What a piece of shit. What a piece of shit. He's so fucking up. Was he knocking around earth in the 70s

could be why not he can fly breathe in space I think fly from space down to earth if he believes he can

he can and if he believes he can he can he's like fuck yes space I can breathe that yeah can breathe the fuck

out of that exactly I'm a little concerned he's starting to have some similar traits to me I believe I can I can do anything is Dusha Star-Lord yeah I was gonna say I'm gonna little concerned. He's starting to have some similar traits to me. I believe I can. I can do anything.

Is Dusha Star-Lord's mom? Yeah, I was going to say, I'm going to put the fourth. So Gladiator, though. Yeah, actually. That's pretty reasonable. Ten. Ten to one. Ten to one.

The only reason he's probably that much of an outsider is just because he's a very relatively unknown character. Again, another thing that might be against me is because he belonged to the Shi'ar. I don't know if Fox have rights to space shit, but he's not a mutant. Okay. Neither is Daken.

Yeah, 12 to 1. That's still the best of all of them, excluding Hawkman. That's true. Yeah, okay. I'm going to put forth someone who... This one's kind of a surprise because he has appeared in the films, sort of,

and he's definitely one that has been discussed previously. Okay. Not by us, but on the internet. Mm-hmm. Adam Warlock. Otherwise known as him. Him. It explains why they never use his name.

Yeah, that's true. He's like a super-powered space god, right? He's actually... A worm man. Created by scientists. Oh, yes, so he is. He's kind of like Space Jesus God. Sick. Just like Jesus.

Has a soul gem. He does have a cape and skin of yellow. That's kind of angel-y. And yes, you could say all his cocoon appears in the film, so he could have concluded himself afterwards. And I kind of feel, his cocoon appears in the film, so he could have cocooned himself afterwards. And I kind of feel like the cocoon looks blown out. That's at the end. The problem is you see the cocoon not blown out in the film

and then blown out at the end. But I'm going to say daddy senses were tingling. He went into a cocoon sometime after thing. Then he was like, oh, no, my son needs me. And he has the soul gem like in his forehead, just stuck there like with a bit of Blu-Tack. So that may be why Peter Quill can hold. Because he's got soul gem goodness in him.

He can hold the gem at the end and be like, I'm fine. I'm not going to die. He's one of a kind as far as I know, explains the ancient race. Everyone's like, who the fuck is that? What is a warlock? Adam, he calls himself Adam Warlock or him. That's a bit of a jackass move. Yeah, he seems like he'd be,

if you think you're Space Jesus, if you are Space Jesus. Oh, how is, okay. The problem there is, how is he hiring Yondu to go get him and then in, oh, no, hires Yondu to go get him in the interim, gets captured by the collector,

who's like, I like you. I want to, because he's like, he's also an ancient yeah the collector oh boy uh what's a collector doing on earth in 1979 also collecting collecting shit but the problem is the collect both yondu and peter quill and the collector are all in the same place and no one says anything it's not the collector not the collector back to adam warlock i think adam warlock seems pretty reasonable just because you've had that cocoon shit happen he's got a gem in his forehead that's like a five to one that's a five to bloody one over there five to one adam warlock all right and there. Five to one. Adam Warlock, all right. And the collector, 500 to one.

Yes. Because it could happen, but it would have to be a choice that made no sense. Okay, so I got another one. But something more sense than Hawkman. So this is not DC. Hey. Similarly to Adam Warlock, he's been in the films.

He's got wings. Howard the Bloody Duck. Ancient race, talking duck people people got wings like an angel he gets beamed to earth in the comics accidentally by a wizard he is from duck world he's from duck world um he in the howard the duck 80s film he bangs human ladies. Yeah. With ease. He's a charmer. So, I mean, let's say Star-Lord has no duck-like qualities that we can pick up on.

He doesn't have angel-like qualities that we can pick up on. Although he does survive in the, um, with that oxygen in the vacuum of space for a little bit longer than maybe he should have. That's true. Which maybe is my gladiator theory coming back, but yes. I get nothing else for Howard the Duck. They're all really

solid points. 20 to 1. Yes! I would be more inclined to maybe 99 to 1. It's still good. A little bit better than Hawkman. Hawkman was 1000. Oh, was he? Okay. 999 to

1. Fuck. But hey, howard the duck is owned by marvel that's true how good how good that's a good mostly i think i just want fucking howard the duck because then we can lead into a man thing film man thing it does not looks like the opposite of an angel nexus of all realities that could be like at least some kind of ancient thing there and lee doesn't talk what an asshole howard the duck's a cunt as well that's true smoking cigars being sassy okay i'm gonna throw out one that is sort of ridiculous but i think i might have a case okay all right has appeared in the marvel films frequently. His name is motherfucking Thor.

Thor's the father. I thought you were going to go Stan Lee. Yes, I did. No, if I did say Stan Lee, you should have punched me in the face. Unfortunately, Thor isn't as guardian and a known race to everybody. It's an ancient race, though. That's true. It's not a known race to humans.

But it was like a long forgotten race. I feel like Thor, when he turned up in our world in 2011, would be like, oh, I remember this place. This is where I banged Star-Lord's mum back in the 70s. Odin, then. What a time. What about Odin? Yeah, I'll pay Odin.

Yeah, all right. Odin likes to bang all his mid-card ladies. Okay, Odin instead of Thor, because Thor was probably a bit too on the nose. And again, this could have been when Odin appeared to a lady as a swan. Yeah, or even just as an angel. Or as a golden shower, as he has known to have done. Yeah.

I like that you are no longer on board. No, no, no. What a dick. No, no, no. Yeah, with Odin. And he What a dick. No, no, no. Because, yeah, with Odin... And he's a dick! Yeah. Dick.

It's been 30... But Odin ages... Like, Loki and Thor are, like, old as fuck by human years. Yeah. Because Loki points that out to Thor. He's like, you're going to watch Natalie Portman die. Yeah, that's true. Jane will die before your eyes because to them we are gods.

But, again, you're talking about Odin and if we're going with the mythical one, he could turn to whatever he wants. Zeus. Zeus is the father. Plus Odin has a lot of infinity gems already. So like he's something there with... But I feel the Zandalari

know about them. And also it's... Can you get to Can you get to Asgard by a rocket ship? I don't know. What is Asgard? Because is Midgard the realm of Earth and therefore

everything that happens in Guardians of the Galaxy also in Midgard? Is it realities or is it space? If it's space, you could fly to Asgard, but if it's realities, shit out of luck, bro.

So I would say... 100 to 1? 100 to 1. 100 to 1, Odin? 200 to 1. Yeah, 200 to 1. Just because people will be like, why? Why would you do that?

Okay. That's unnecessary. Bit of an outsider here. Okay. But I reckon he's got a chance. Uh-oh. Ego, the living planet. Uh.

Oh. So. Mm. A long time ago, maybe even in ancient times, a scientist was basically merged with a planet. Uh-huh. So it's a sentient planet. Right. How angel-like would that

be? A giant purple. How can a really purple theme go on? Purple planet with a grey goatee. Or white goatee. Point against number one. Also, another reason maybe again before you start ripping us to shreds. He has a brother. Okay.

Also a planet, I believe. Yeah. Named Alter Ego ego which was which was held by the collector in like a tube or whatever as a baby so there's that collector link of the guardians wait what shut up a baby like a baby planet i don't know because because sam you said a scientist became this planet i I don't know. It just confused me. I didn't want to go into it too much. I was like, comics, you're so

dumb. I thought it couldn't get any dumber with Ego the Living Planet. It could. I feel like Ego the Living Planet is more unlikely than Hawkman. Somehow. How big is Ego the Living Planet? As big as the planet. How? Okay.

So in 1979, it was as big as Earth. Have you seen a human vagina? Yes. She got wrecked. I have questions then. I like that if this is the case, everybody in every Marvel movie so far has just failed to mention that time that planet came to Earth and fucked that lady.

A billion to what? Did I mention he has a beard? Yes. Is that at least maybe... Yeah, that threw it out from 500,000 to a billion. Star-Lord's mother does not look like she'd be someone into beards, Joe. That's my biggest qualm.

That was my biggest problem with that idea. So all of mine, not too hot, let's be fair, but what about Star Fox? The Nintendo 64 game. No. Well, Eros of the Titans.

He's got, like, orgasm powers. He's also Thanos' brother. So he can, like, be like boop boop boop, and you're like, oh my god. So, like, the ultimate seducer. Or also basically a rapist. Yeah, or a rapist. Really? A rapist.

So that's a potential one to throw out there. He does use his power to seduce women. Well, you've got the Thanos connection there. You know, we know he's the big bad they're leading up to. Thanos connection. Thanos, Thanos, whatever. Potatoes, Botanos. Tomatoes, potatoes, whatever. Potatoes, Botanos. Tomatoes,

potatoes. Yeah. So, it's a potential, like, he's a dick. I just feel like maybe actually Marvel's not going to just be like, hey, rapists? That's true, but I think they'd be more like, he can just, while they're doing the Purple Man in, um, Marvel

again, weird purple theme. Weird purple obsession. The Purple Man, uh, Kilgrave, in the alias. Oh, yeah. in Marvel again weird purple theme weird purple obsession the purple man Kilgrave in the alias oh yeah he's an arsehole he's a rapist so maybe

but the only thing against him is that he is of Titan he is Thanos' brother I think they would know about him plus we've already seen a Thanos

yeah so like we know what they are and Star Fox looks nothing like a Thanos so that would be confusing how is he his brother? I don't understand.

Also, not an angel. In the slightest. Yeah. That's true. You know what's going to be like, what an angel. What a doll. Hey, he has an angel face, though.

Oh. A baby angel face. Okay, back out again. You want me over for a bit? And I was like, oh, okay. So an angelic face. No, you mean like a cherub face. Nah, he's like, it's all pointed and bit? And I was like, oh, okay. So an angelic face. No, you mean like a cherub face. Nah, he's like, it's all pointed

and angular and he looks like, oh, you're a darling. Pointy angel face. I'm just saying words right now. Okay. 150 to 1. That's pretty good. My last option. Yeah. This is my last, this is my, I've been holding this in my back pocket here.

This is my like, whoa. This is my Trump card. The Watcher, Utau. I don't think Utau has genitals. Yes, he does, because he does bang a lady watcher in the comics. Awesome. Their big bobble heads are like... So basically, he has a big, bald baby face. Yeah, he does.

A massive baby face. A big, bald baby face on the body of a man. But it's in proportion. But not really because his head is just so big. He's a giant of a man. He wears robes. Yeah. Potentially like an angel. And plus, like

angels have cherubic faces. Maybe she didn't mean as in like he's flying. Maybe she just meant like he had a little baby face. Exactly. As a watcher, they're the oldest known species in the universe one that they probably would have forgot about in zandalar zandalar i don't know uh they are always there to observe but not into fear so of course you're gonna be like well how can he fuck you know star lord's mom's wife is not true. But Utau, whatever his name is, the watcher, it's like it's U-A-T-U. Yeah, I say Utau.

You pronounce it. Utau. Utau. Uatu. Uatu. Uatu? Uatu? I don't know.

Let's go with that. Wahoo. Wahoo. So he's the whole thing, like, I don't interfere ever, whereas Utau has interfered, like, every fucking opportunity he's got to get. He's like, I'm going to be here. I'm just going to help you guys here. Hey, you want this?

Maybe you should have my ultimate nullifier. Is he a dick? He just gave someone his ultimate nullifier. He watches. He just gave Mr. Fantastic his ultimate nullifier? Yeah, he's a dick. Or just a reckless idiot. He watches, so that's kind of creepy.

That's the no condom thing. That makes sense. A reckless idiot. And again, it's Yondu thinking he's a bit of a jackass. Yeah, that's true. And again, because maybe he's been like, because he interfered with a lady, maybe his other watcher buddies are like no more interfering, so he's like, hey Yondu

help me get this my kid back. True. It's a potential. I feel like Uatu looks too ridiculous for the Marvel movies. You know how every Marvel superhero so far that's made look kind of cool? But then we have Rocket Raccoon. Yeah, but they even made him a little cool.

Rocket Raccoon was just a raccoon with guns. Uatu's a baby head on a man body. With a sick-ass collar that's blue. Like it's giant. It's pretty fucking huge. I'm imagining like Sinestro now, but with a baby face. And also doesn't Uatu have like quite a short tunic?

I think his knees to feet are showing. He looks like he's not wearing underwear. But. I just want to show Dusha a picture of him. Nah. Nah. Not happening. He's wearing sandals, yeah Dusha a picture of him. Nah. Nah. Not happening.

He's wearing sandals, yeah? There's better pictures of him. Look at his baby face. So he looks sort of like if Magneto and Professor X, when they were printing the comic books, accidentally printed their faces on top of each other. Yeah, and just made Magneto's helmet flesh-coloured. Yeah.

Gross. Yep. Gross. Yep. I feel like the only reason Marvel would never do that is because they don't want to put the image of Uatu plowing Mrs. Quill into our minds. So I'm going to put that at 35 to 1. 35 to 1. It's not bad.

It's not bad. Probably not going to happen. Please have the doc. Okay. Yeah. For my last thing, this guy hasn't appeared in the marvel universe he is from earth okay it's a strike against you yeah he's from earth so that's a strike i think i know i'm you i think i know where you're going with this but go on he wasn't born in 1979 but time travel could be an option so you okay so I was almost going to say you've got the time gem.

So someone acquired the time gem. Is that what you're saying? Someone acquired the time gem, traveled back in time. Explains the ancient race thing because it's sort of human but from the future. Okay. Not that far in the future. Not that far in the future. If I think I know where this is going, yeah.

Maybe only a good couple years really in the grand scheme Not that far in the future. If I think I know where this is going, yeah. Maybe only a good couple years, really. In the grand scheme of things. Me? Joel Dusha. Infinity gem to one. I don't know. I give myself pretty good odds. What do you give yourself?

I think he gives himself a solid one to one. No, I was going to say a 4 to 1. I was going to be modest. Not that modest. So, in conclusion, I think probably for me, I reckon that it's going to be either Emperor Daken or Clark as Peter

Quill's dad. I'm still holding out hope for Howard the Duck. And on the outside chance, maybe a little bit of Hawkman action. And on that note, I've been Peter Caw's father. No, you haven't. I've been Jackson Bailey.

And I've been Joel Zammett. Tleki, thank you so much for donating to our Patreon page. We hope you found this episode satisfactory and all of our answers have been concise. If not, feel free to yell at us some more. Yeah. Hey, we'll take it. We're all grown men here.

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