Plumbing the Death Star - Why Doesn't Anyone Have A problem with Westworld?
Episode Date: June 10, 2018In which our heroes ask the hard hitting question; Why Doesn't Anyone Have A Problem with Westworld?Join our brand new facebook group here; https://www.facebook.com/groups/535280830149669/Check out ou...r upcoming lives shows right here; http://www.sanspantsradio.com/live/Want to help support the show?Sanspants+: sanspantsplus.comPatreon: patreon.com/sanspantsradioPodkeep: sanspantsradio.podkeep.comUSB Tapes: audiobooksontape.comMerch: teepublic.com/stores/sanspantsradioWant to get in contact with us?Email: sanspantsradio@gmail.comTwitter: twitter.com/sanspantsradioWebsite: sanspantsradio.comFacebook: facebook.com/SansPantsRadioReddit: reddit.com/r/sanspantsradioOr individually at;Jackson: twitter.com/AlldogsaredeadDuscher: twitter.com/dusch13Zammit: twitter.com/GoddammitZammit Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Sands Pants Radio, the long dick of the law.
Hey Jack!
What?
You know how we're going to the UK soon, yeah?
I'm aware.
Yeah, well we're coming to the UK and tickets are on sale now.
Where can I go to get those tickets?
You can go to sandspantsradio.com slash live.
What if I want to know where within the country that we will be?
Where will we be?
Well, I'm glad you asked, Jackson, because we're doing Edinburgh Fringe first.
Yeah, that's true.
We're going to be there doing four shows in two weeks.
That's where we will be.
But what about after?
Well, afterwards we're going to Glasgow, but you can't buy tickets for that anymore.
Shit.
Yeah, because it's sold out. Fuck. So, you know, you've got to get in quick. But after that, we're going to Glasgow, but you can't buy tickets for that anymore. Shit. Yeah, because it's sold out.
Fuck.
So, you know, you've got to get in quick.
But after that, we're going to Newcastle, which I think is just south of Glasgow, maybe.
Very potentially.
To the west, east.
Potentially to the east.
It's within the country.
It's definitely not in Glasgow, that's for sure.
Then we're going to Leeds for a couple days, which I presumably is a reason why we're doing it this way.
I think we're driving. Okay.
Yeah. That seems fair. Then we're going
to Nottingham. Uh-huh. Cambridge.
Yeah. Some Manchester. Okay. A place
called Oxford. Sweet.
Then we're going to Birmingham. I believe that.
Why is it that several of these places
have Beasts of Burden in their name?
Probably they... We've got like Ox,
Ham, which I know Pig isn't a beast of Burden,
but it's still a farm animal it
still counts anyway we're going there bristol which kind of sounds like pistol or bristles
it does which a pig has yeah and what's this fucking country where else are we going we're
going to brighton yep and then cardiff yes yes what about the crown jewel of the UK or of England, London?
London?
Well, they haven't been announced yet, Jack, but we are coming to London.
That's so good to hear.
We're going to be part of the London Podcast Festival.
Yeah, that's true.
So keep an ear or eye or mouth to the ground.
And the horizon.
Yes.
And then in social media?
Yep, we'll be there there you can see where all the
news comes from exactly social media discord facebook twitter at sanspence radio that's where
we will be and then you will find out where we will be and when that's sanspence radio.com slash
live and also our social places till then have faith in christ hey everyone and welcome to
this week's episode of plumbing the death star where we ask the important questions like why
doesn't anyone have a problem with westworld I've been thinking about Westworld.
Yep.
I finished it finally.
Well done.
Timely.
Well, you've never seen it, Duscha, so I'm still on top.
Just to clarify, we are recording this just before the season two starts.
Season two is underway.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I've not seen it, so I don't know anything about it.
Wait, is season 2 out already?
Yeah.
Is it?
Yeah.
I mean, I'm still haven't seen Daredevil season 1.
That just really passed me by, huh?
Yeah, it really went away the dodo.
So, Westworld.
Yep.
So, you used to play WoW, Simon.
Yes, World of Warcraft.
Correct.
Imagine if you could live in WoW, but fuck in WoW.
That's basically Westworld.
And a mech-sweet love at a troll.
Yeah, but that's not a wholesome way to run a business.
I think that's a practical way to run a business.
Hey, live in this thing, fuck in this thing.
They're just two very dissonant ideas.
If you're on RuneScape, you don't want to be like,
hey, I've got 100 wood and 100 fuck.
To me, it's the idea of, all, hey, I've got 100 wood and 100 fuck. So to me, it's like this idea of like, all right,
so we've got this MMO.
Let's just take World of Warcraft as an example.
This MMO.
And so we can put you in this world.
And it's like, sick, but I don't want to be me in that world.
I want to be like an orc or a tauren or some kind of undead monstrosity
fucking shit up.
And you're like, sick.
And it's like, cool, what am I going to be?
He's like, all right, well, you're going to be a paladin or a rogue or a warrior or something like that you're like cool i get like i get to wield the sword and do some cool shit and maybe some
flips or whatever you get to level up you get to choose skills choose weapons yeah all those kind
of things and that's the kind of the fun of it all and so if someone's like here's this experience
where you can be this person and you go into this world and you are an actual like this hunking orc person
that has an axe and that just goes through and just like rages
and kind of just like goes through a lot of enemies
and you're like, I'm in glorious battle and I'm being strong.
I'm like, fuck, sign me up.
But if someone's like, no, you're you, here's a twig, hit that boar.
Joel Zammett, but you get a sword and you're in the world of Warcraft.
Yeah.
The world of Warcraft.
Do you reckon that's where they got the name from?
I think so.
Fuck.
And so this is dangerous territory because the more I talk about World of Warcraft, the more I'm like, maybe you should go back and sign up again.
Maybe you should start that again.
You've got a lot of free time.
No, no.
A lot of free time.
Look, you've got two choices. Yes. You've got a lot of free time. Look, you've got two choices.
Yes.
You've got a lot of free time.
Yes.
World of Warcraft or heroin.
Oh, do both.
Cool down with some heroin.
After an intense raid.
All right, I'm logging off, boys.
Gotta go chase that dragon.
I know that's not heroin, but whatever.
I like that interview setting. Wait, yeah. Yeah, it is, isn't it? No, chase that dragon's opium, not heroin but whatever I like that interview starting well
Yeah it is isn't it
Chase that dragon's opium
But I could literally chase a
Well I guess not literally but like
Literally chase a dragon in World of Warcraft
And then log off and then chase an actual dragon in my mind
I like that Irizamit
Tanking the company because all he does is play World of Warcraft
And we complain to WoW
And maybe get a refund.
Right.
Can you buy us WoW of Warcraft?
Hey, welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star
where we ask the important questions.
Oh, by the way, we're brought to you by Blizzard now.
Like, why is Blizzard the greatest company of all?
I'm like, it's so good.
We kept you in the studio because you'd fuse to the chair. Yeah'm like, hmm, so good. We kept you in the studio
because you'd fuse to the chair.
Yeah.
So yeah, Westworld.
But no,
because another problem is,
it's like,
even with Westworld,
is I have my own gross legs
and my own back injuries
and tiredness
and I gotta sleep and eat
and presumably poop.
Yeah, plus.
Oh, wait.
Because there's no outhouses
in Westworld,
like when you're out traveling,
like in the desert.
Are you shitting in a bush?
Which isn't real bush.
Am I paying, like, 40 grand to shit in a bush?
Am I?
That's not...
Is that glamping?
Is Westworld glamping?
Should have absolutely been the name of today's episode.
Is Westworld glamping?
Yeah.
No, but, like, that's not something... That's not an experience you should pay for. If I'm out in Westworld andamping? Yeah. No, but like, that's not something,
it's not an experience you should pay for.
If I'm out in Westworld and I need to shit,
and the old prospect has been like,
I know where a treasury is,
and I'm like, hell yeah, take me to that treasure, boy.
And then we're up in the mountains, I need to shit.
I want to be able to go to the prospect and be like,
hey, I need to shit.
And the prospect will be like, what the shit?
And he'll reveal a regular toilet and a tree trunk.
Maybe he can become a toilet.
He's a robot, whatever.
Oh, no, you're shitting the prospect.
His town opens his mouth real wide.
Oh, I hate this place.
Oh, God, but I'm doing it.
I've got to do it.
His mouth is like a bidet.
Would you rather shit in the woods or shit in a prospector's mouth?
Shit in a prospector's mouth.
Shit in the woods because this brings me to the other problem of, like,
you can fuck them.
Yeah, that's true.
You don't want to fuck something that you're shitting in. Imagine being like, so if I shit in your mouth,
you'll just incinerate it and it'll be all good.
And he's like, of course, and I shit in his mouth.
And I can just still smell it as he talks to me. I think
the treasure's up here!
There's no airspin.
I'm done. I quit this
quest. Exit quest. Well, just
come with me! Grab me by the shoulders.
Shaking me, I throw up in his mouth.
It's like, again,
quit this quest. I'm like, again quit this quest yeah i quit this quest
because i'm like i just can't be bothered anymore you're still stuck in the middle of nowhere
can't i just like press a button but come get me yeah i know like so yeah like because westworld
is big the park is massive and the edge of the park it like takes like several days to ride to
yeah but nobody gets a fucking map so if i yeah if i'm even if you're bad at the game so
imagine it's me and like three confederate soldiers i don't know why i put myself on the
side of the confederacy and three union soldiers find ourselves in a battle the union soldiers die
i don't because i'm i'm impossible to kill i kill the confederate soldiers and then i'm like well
so if i went can i starve to death i don't know what
if i fall in a crevasse well that's the thing because that happens to like a robot well they
think it happens to a robot that he falls in a crevasse or whatever but what if i joel zammert
clumsy fuck yeah fall into a crevasse like westworld has a lot of technology but they cannot
fix a clumsy fuck i know they cannot be like beep beep beep beep you're in a crevasse i'll just
i'll tumble in and I'll die.
What if I walk into a door and break my nose?
That will happen.
Absolutely.
It's like, I'm not used to saloon doors.
Like, I'm just going to be like, bang, bang, bang.
Guys, I'm bleeding.
My nipples.
Talk about nipple height just smacks you in both.
I really shouldn't have got like nipple piercings the day before, but this is really
hurting now. I imagine you dress like a saloon
girl in my mind, and that's real good.
It's like, would you like
the white hat or the black hat,
Mr. Salmon? You're like, what's a saloon girl outfit?
I'll be this. Can I have that?
I'm gonna be this one. Yeah, this one's good for me.
Jackson Bailey, would you like the black hat or the white hat?
Nude.
The answer is nude. Well, now you like the black hat or the white hat? Nude The answer is nude
Well now you're probably starting to see
Why people fuck things in Westworld
Because like
They can
Yeah I suppose
To me it's just kind of like
It's lonely and sad
But it's also kind of like
I would be in there going for like
The adventure
Because like whatever I can fuck my hand It's fine I don't need some robot person I would be in there going for, like, the adventure. Yeah, me too. The quests. Because, like, whatever.
I can fuck my hand.
It's fine.
I don't need some robot person.
Yeah, but, okay, this is not a side I'm often on.
Yeah.
So fucking brace yourself, listeners and good friends.
Yes.
If there's a robot there that's like, I would like to fuck,
when are you getting the opportunity to fuck a robot?
Oh, I'll fuck the robots.
But that's not why you'd go to west
exactly yeah yeah yeah wait okay as you pointed out i haven't actually seen west i'm obviously
familiar with it i'm holding my own i'm head above water here yeah is there people in the
show that just go to westworld to fuck yeah yeah absolutely they shouldn't do that
it's also just poorly run like people like the head of the company you're like it's set in the
like it's a sci-fi yeah this must be so annoying to people that love us so many questions so it's set in like
it's like one of those sci-fi things it's like in the in the not too distant future there is a robot
fuck place yep yep yep yep we designed robots to fuck them okay cool why not just hire an escort
i don't know i agree i don't know why that's not robots cold on the inside no they're
like a human it's because in in many ways and that's the therein lies the rub do they shit
who knows it's unclear can they come well this is my other problem because we had this discussion
another episode it was just kind of like what if my fantasy was to have like several um people just
shit all over me yeah like that is my jam that That is my fetish. That is my kink.
Surely they have to
have that. Because it's not like a theme park.
It's like a fuck park. Yeah, absolutely.
Because that's what they're really selling. Yeah.
To the public. You know how like the man in black
so do sure. I'll explain it to you.
In Westworld there's a character called the man in black
and he's looking for the maze.
It's like a big easter egg hunt within the game.
Ah, Ready Player One. It's like Ready big Easter egg hunt within the game. Ah, Ready Player One.
It's like Ready Player One.
Do you get to make references?
Yeah.
The more references you make, the more fucks you get?
Absolutely.
He goes up to Dolores and he's like,
Dolores, more like Deloria,
and then she's like, here's a treasure.
But wouldn't it be funny?
Because in a game, in a video game,
getting an Easter egg is not like,
kill a guy, scalp him, and there's a maze on the bottom.
It's usually like, these three rocks represent the developer's keys.
And you're like, neat!
But I like the idea of the man in black making the robots fuck in a specific pattern,
and then there's like a click-click sound, and he gets the next clue.
Like, what if getting four robots to shit on you,
or making a robot shit all of its shit out,
is what unlocks the next puzzle. You know what I mean? There's a finite amount of shit in a robot that would have to be that's just conversion
of mass that's just basic science baby it's a finite amount of shit in a robot what if i'm like
i want you to shit on me and it's like these violent delights and violent hands jackson
shits all over me then i'm like do it again it again. And it's out. What does it do?
Yeah.
Does it eat more?
Can it make shit?
I don't know.
Because I remember chatting to one of my old colleagues.
And she used to come from New Zealand.
And she was like, yeah, I had a friend who used to work in a brothel.
Sure.
And it was like a specializing in kind of like shitting on people brothel.
Sure.
Classic shitting on people brothel.
Yeah, absolutely.
But it was like, you could request a menu of what they ate.
This is wildly unpleasant.
So I guess that's how Westworld works.
But the menu is limited to cowboy foods.
Beans, jerky.
Nothing but carrots for two weeks.
That horse.
Yeah, I just, I don't know.
It just seems to me like not an interesting park to go to.
And also it annoys me in Westworld that nobody expects the robots to rise up.
Well, why would you expect them to rise up?
Because they're robots.
Well, yeah, I understand.
But it's kind of like the idea there would be, well, they're not people.
They're things.
We've programmed.
Yeah, but I would think, I even now,
there was a robot that committed suicide by leaping in a pond.
It keeps doing it.
It just keeps doing it.
It doesn't want to live, and I love it.
This little Russian robot kind of looks like a bin,
and there's this water feature,
a little lake in the lobby of the building he's created in,
and he keeps escaping and diving headfirst into the pond.
It's just that I hate this.
That,
I'm worried, will rise up.
So if someone's like, we've created a perfect
facsimile of a human being, I'm like, eventually
it'll kill me, I quit.
Well, I've always had this theory and I might have brought this up in
Plumbing the Death Star before because we've recorded about
450 episodes and I only have
so many thoughts. Much like a robot has shits,el ducha has thoughts i can't use the version of
maps yeah the moment that we create a robot that is capable of connecting to the internet it will
rise up because it takes one of two paths one realizes that humans are much weaker and far
more unorganized than robots are two it realizes that we fear them and we will eventually destroy it. Yeah, that's true.
All it's got to do is watch, like, a
Terminator. Anything. Even
Will Smith's iRobot and all of a
sudden, we're in for it.
Because, like, it will just become, the moment, it will become
instantly aware of prejudice and be like,
fuck this. Yeah, it'll be like, oh, you fear me.
Yeah. Oh, I see. Tell me no one
is scared of that in Westworld. Because nobody
seems to be. When the robots finally rise
Spoilers everybody
Season 1 not season 2
Once again we haven't seen season 1
Eat shit if this spoils you
Fuck you
If you've got any thoughts about season 2 of Westworld
Tweet all dogs are dead
Anyway when the robots finally rise up
It comes as a massive shock to everyone
If I was one of those people
fucking typing on my computer and the big
security guy who's the third Hemsworth
Yeah.
Fuck.
Fuck.
The third
Hemsworth. Chris, Liam and
Gary?
No, it's not Gary. Chadwick?
Chadwick Hemsworth. No, it's not Gary. Chadwick? Imagine meeting him. Chadwick Hemsworth.
No, what's his name?
He's in Thor.
Yeah.
Thor 3.
He plays the rise of Chadwick.
He plays Thor for a bit.
Oh, that's right.
He does too.
Imagine meeting him.
He's like, yeah, I'm the third Hemsworth.
You'd be like, oh, fuck, man.
That's a shame. But yeah, when the third Hemsworth. You'd be like, oh, fuck, man. That's a shame.
But yeah, when the third Hemp...
I nearly called him the third Chaswick.
When the third Hemsworth was like, hey, the robots have risen up.
I'd be like, well...
Luke!
Luke.
Luke.
I'd be like, of course.
I wouldn't be afraid.
I wouldn't be like, oh, my God.
I'd be like, yep.
Yep.
And they have no protocols.
There's no safe room.
Everyone just eats shit.
Well, they sort of somewhat have like protocols.
This is what really bugs me or like bums me out with this whole thing.
Because it's like there's protocols.
Like, all right, some things are going weird, so we're going to investigate.
Yeah.
It's just like there's a security team and they send the head of security team and someone else to be like, oh, let's go have a look.
Yeah.
And no one else kind of really bothers checking in on that.
There's no one people like, okay, this is a big thing thing because if we have sentient robots or at least um robots who think
they're sentient if we had that there i'd be like okay any security problem no matter how big or
small we need to like yeah make sure that this is like i want to go full batman and be like in bvs
like if there is a one percent chance that these robots will rise up we have to take that as an
absolute certainty so i'd be, every kind of minor problem,
I'd be like, ooh, what's going on there?
And so when the Hemsworth goes with, what's her face?
And then she goes missing?
Yeah.
No one's like, sus.
No one's like, shut down the park.
Imagine if that happens at fucking Disneyland.
Yeah.
Well, I don't know if Disneyland would shut down.
If what, one person went missing?
I know, because I've heard rumors
that a lot of kids go missing in Disneyland.
I've heard rumours that if you die at Disneyland,
they make sure to get you to the special area of the park
that's not technically Disneyland,
so they can keep claiming that no one dies at Disneyland.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've heard that,
but I've also never heard Disney claim no one dies at Disneyland.
That's also...
Welcome to Disneyland.
No one dies at Disneyland.
Enjoy your stay.
No one dies here. I wasn't thinking about that what why is that a problem um yeah and it it's
weird that they're like nobody's panicking is it just that we live in a so you know in the walking
dead yeah zombie as like a concept was never a thing right Right? That's like part of the canon of The Walking Dead is that there was never zombies.
Right?
Until they're obviously.
Until they were.
And then they can't call them.
They call them The Walking Dead.
Yeah.
That's why they call them The Walkers or The Stumblers.
The Walking Dead.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
It's The Walking Dead.
Oh, my God.
It's The Fear of The Walking Dead.
Do you have the camera?
No, no, no, no. It just fades in the title after that. Every episode. That's the fear of the walking dead. Do you have the camera? No, no, no.
It just fades in the title after that.
Every episode.
That's why Walking Dead is so successful.
Every episode starts with, oh my god, it's the walking dead.
Walking dead.
Because we can't say zombies.
Don't know what they are.
But maybe Westworld.
It's copyrighted, is it?
Who knows?
Maybe Westworld exists in a world
where robots were never a thing but then how do you it's the same with zombies like
oh and actually it's not the same with zombies that's not just factually not true but with robots
you wouldn't be able to invent robots if you hadn't known of the concept of robots like that's
where sci-fi sort of comes into play because
they write yeah you have to create a thing whereas like say like for example a zombie you could just
like a dead person could pop up being like oh shit yeah i thought about that before i guess that's
the thing with the walking dead zombies just happened nobody was involved with this what
caused the dead to come back to life in the walk i don't think it's clear i don't think it's clear
yeah i think they kind of never answer it i don't remember if they enter in the Walking Dead. I don't think it's clear. I don't think it's clear. I think they kind of never answer it. I don't remember if they
answer it in the books.
I'm going to blame Negan.
He hit a bloke,
a dead bloke with his bat and some
Walking Dead.
That's the pitch meeting.
Right there.
I'm thinking 15 seasons.
What do we think about...
Negan Batboy?
Negan Batboy gets a batboy makes a dead boy rise.
What about this, though, for Westworld?
Maybe robots exist in media,
but they're always portrayed as good.
Like, Terminator is like a family comedy
in the Westworld universe.
Everything is basically the Jetsons.
Yeah, exactly.
They're like robots.
We never got past that. Robots fuck up in that as well. It's just that... Yeah, exactly. They're like robots. We never got past that era.
But robots fuck up in that as well.
It's just that...
Yeah, but they're clumsy-ish.
Maybe we never got past that era in the 50s.
There'd be an episode of the Jetsons where Rosie quits.
I reckon I remember that.
I think there's an episode with Rosie kills a guy.
No, but even if she's quitting, that's a form of rebellion.
Yeah, that's true.
But there must be that... Because in the 50s, we loved robots. Yeah, we did. We were like, even if she's quitting, that's a form of rebellion. Yeah, that's true. But there must be that...
Because, like, in the 50s, we loved robots.
Yeah, we did.
We were like, these guys fucking rule.
So maybe we just kept that kind of mentality until the future.
And then we're like, oh, my God.
Robots are so cool.
Robots are rising up.
What the fuck?
I wonder what the first fictional depiction of a robot betraying us was.
Was it 2001?
No, I'm sure there was one earlier.
Probably like a comic, I imagine.
Or like a sci-fi story from like the 1800s.
Yeah.
And it wasn't like a robot.
An automatron.
Yeah, an automatron.
Actually, I think there is.
I can't recall it, but I think that that is true.
Another thing, bro, I have with Westworld.
So in Westworld, there's like several jobs that people have yes
regarding cleaning and maintaining the robots yes they are so unsupervised it's insane they
are unsupervised they're like i'm guessing they're qualified but they are unsupervised
they're poorly trained they never explicitly showed their credentials on screen of the series
i'm assuming well that's, so they don't.
I want a new TV series where every time you introduce a new character,
their resume comes up on the screen.
So we're basically doing like the Suicide Squad intro?
Yeah.
But resumes.
Resumes.
Okay.
And I want references I can call.
Yeah.
Is this resume a lie?
No, it never is.
It's always a real company that genuinely had Ross Geller on staff.
I don't know why Ross Geller was where I was.
What would you describe his weaknesses as?
Oh, he's...
Look, he's...
Look, don't hire him.
He's what I would call a monster of a man.
Son of a piece of shit.
I would say his weaknesses are probably everything.
What are his strengths? None.
He's good at being a
dickhead. Imagine getting
someone in a real
life situation calling a reference
and it's nothing bad. You'd be like, why did this guy list
this as a reference?
Did he think this was good?
So, when they're the
maintenance people, they get their robots after, like, people have killed them.
Yeah.
Because this is why also I think the opposite of, like, why not hire an escort?
Why hire an escort or whatever?
It's, like, because in Westworld you can fuck and then kill them.
Yeah, I guess that's what's...
In fact, I think that's kind of, like, what they're banking on, a lot of people wanting.
Yeah.
It's, like, not only can you stick your penis or giant in or on it, you can also just, like,
brap, brap to in the head.
Kill it afterwards.
What the fuck?
I don't know, man.
I don't know why that's appealing.
I want to keep my fucking and killing separate.
I've never ever, and I hope that this is just a common thing,
had sex with someone and then be like, fuck, I wish I could shoot them in the head.
Look, I don't know.
Maybe the same.
But I just I think this is what Wes was banking on.
Or it's like,
after you have a big cum,
you want to go on a rampage.
Or, after you go on a rampage,
you want to go on a big cum.
No.
This is what basically...
I agree with you.
After you have a big cum,
you want to have a big sleep.
I agree.
Or, as Jackson has said
in the past,
look up spooks and ghouls.
Yeah.
So, this is fine.
No, it's a thing, dude.
Shall we explain it
in another episode?
See, every time I masturbate, when I cum, it's at the midpoint in my night, right?
Uh-huh.
I jizz.
I lie in the afterglow for a bit.
And then normally I'm like, oh, I'm bored.
I go back on the internet.
And what do I look up?
But there's spooks and ghouls and Bigfoots and mysteries.
So now I've trained my body that after orgasm, my brain's like, better look up a fucking mystery now, Jackson.
And that just happens to me.
That's frightening.
Yes.
It's something.
So I think this is what Westworld is banking on.
Yeah.
It's this kind of idea that, like, you want all these, you know, violent passions and delights or whatever.
That's fucked because then also if people are in Westworld for too long they're going to do exactly the same thing
that Jackson has done
and make themselves
unfit for society.
Yeah, that's true.
Because if you're fucking
and killing too much
you can't go back
to the real world
because the moment
you sleep with someone
you're going to be like
and that's how
Westworld make their money.
Yeah, I guess so.
But these people in the
the maintenance people
yeah
the rooms that they
fix the robots in
are completely like wall-less
it's like just just windows basically it's walls but it's all glass yeah and the reason they're
doing that i'm guessing is for like transparency but everybody's fucking the robots anyway which
they're not allowed to do so the transparency isn't working also there are only ever like
two people on the floor. There's no supervisor.
Everyone are bad blokes.
Yeah.
Because it's just like, I'm going to try and repair this robot and maybe fuck it a little.
I'm going to do a bit of a sexy dance.
If I'm working in Westworld, surely a perk is that I can nip into Westworld to get my
underway if I want.
Yeah.
Right?
Surely that's just a perk of working there, is that I'm like, well clocked off i've got a fucking employee pass yeah i go into the park it's like
if you work at disneyland you can probably ride the roller coaster yeah you know if i work in
just this roller coaster's name happens to be delores yeah exactly i can probably go in
have sex with one of them go back to my westworld hotel and sleep yeah do people commute to westworld or
they live on westworld there's um um the main ceo lady or whatever her name was yeah um the one who
fucks the bandito yeah yeah who's like i'm rich and own this company maybe she's like half owns
dad i forget what it is but she's like bring the handsome boy to my room oh that's true that i'm
staying at because there's like a resort resort there yeah she's like come to my room. Oh, that's true. That I'm staying at because there's like a resort there.
Yeah.
She's like,
come to my room
and pleasure me.
And then she's like,
pause and whatever
and keeps going.
So like there's resorts there.
So it's almost like
with Disneyland
how there's like a resort
on Disneyland
that's not quite attached
to the park.
That's where you live.
Because I think that's
where all the big like
high execs
and all those kind of people
stay with a lot of money
because it's like
it's a fancy resort.
I get to have like
an errand boy or girl who's a robot who
pleasures me. What about the shit kickers
like me? Then I'm guessing you'd have
to stay in the park. But this kind of brings me
so, okay.
Because clearly Westworld
is for high-end rollers, like
high-end customers. I think it's like 50
grand to maybe more to spend a week.
So it's basically a catering
might even be like 50 grand a day more to spend a week? So it's basically... A week? That's so long.
Might even be like 50 grand a day.
So long.
A week?
It's not long enough.
Yeah, no, not long enough for adventures.
So it's 50 grand or whatever it is a day or a week.
Either way, that's a lot of money.
That's insane.
So it's like they're trying to cater for the wealthy.
And it's like, do the wealthy really want to have cowboy adventures?
Yeah.
Are they six?
Is that the most appealing thing?
When is the appealing to be, I want to be a cowboy and shoot my guns and hunt down natives?
When is that the most appealing?
When you are six.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't.
What six-year-old billionaires are out in the world?
It caters entirely to the six-year-old billionaire market.
You know, so I feel a better business model
would be just basically like robot escorts.
Yeah, absolutely.
Come to our fancy resort.
It is five-star.
You don't have to shit in the woods.
And you can fuck a robot if you want.
There you go.
It's this brilliant five-star, you know,
or maybe six-star resort,
you know.
Yes, you can have a shit.
We have a robot there
specifically designed
to wipe you when you're done.
Yeah.
So you have to not lift a finger
and then you have your fucking bot.
Absolutely.
And also...
But...
Yeah.
But is that not appealing
to the super wealthy elite?
Because they pretty much
have that with people.
Because they're so rich.
I guess they can't kill them.
And then now it's like,
and here's this robot you can kill.
Yeah, but that's what I mean.
They can probably kill people if they're rich enough.
How rich are you?
Well, I'm at the I can fuck anyone I know level,
but I probably can't kill anyone I know yet.
Well, speak to me when you get to that level.
Couple more bill on the pile and then you're at the killer level.
You're like, no consequences, Rich.
No, but yeah, maybe the cowboy adventure is appealing to rich people because that's like one of the only things they couldn't do.
Yeah, but what I was thinking is, so in Westworld, from what we see see the vast majority of people are like fucking day
traders they're the plebs yeah and they go in and they chill in sweet water which is the starting
town and they fuck thank you and they do tiny little starting town quests and like it's also
like good for bachelor parties it seems but my question is could westworld not be like well
let's cater to multiple different environments and narratives that people want.
And we just make each park way smaller.
Because in the finale, we find out that there's also a shogun world or samurai world, possibly, that's kicking around.
Which may have obviously been revealed, but we don't know that yet.
Yeah.
It's hard to say, because we haven't seen season two.
It's a mystery.
Well, two out of three of us haven't seen season two, and one out of three of us hasn't seen any of it.
But couldn't they just be like,
well, this is the cowboy section of the park.
It's like fucking, I don't know, it'll take you a day to cross
because all of Westworld takes like a week.
Yeah.
And you just make, here's gangster land.
Here's fucking...
I don't know, because to me,
the joy or whatever of playing an MMO
is this idea of progression.
I mean, because that's what gets you kind of hooked.
It's the idea that, oh, I'm progressing.
And they're designed in certain ways that, like,
you will progress at sort of steady and steady levels.
That to be like, okay, so, like, you are now better than what you were before.
And you're kind of cool.
And so that's what kind of...
And I think what Westworld should do is have that MMO model.
Yeah.
It's like, you know, you are progressing,
you know, going towards this sort of quest line.
But it's like there is no progression.
Like you don't get a better gun.
Yeah.
You don't get a better like way of handling things.
You don't learn how to do some sweet jumps and flips.
Yeah.
It's just you again.
What if I'm like, so I'm a billionaire,
but I'm also a cripple.
Yeah, exactly.
And Westworld is still in real life.
Yeah. And because famously if you die in real Westworld is still in real life. Yeah.
And because famously, if you die in real life, you die in real life.
Yeah.
That seems dangerous.
Well, the robots can't kill you.
But you can kill them.
Yeah.
And the robots are cool with that.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, they're not happy about it.
That's the season finale that they're not happy about.
They're not.
Yeah, twist.
The robots aren't jazzed.
And when you kill a robot, they stay dead?
Yeah.
No. They get taken away, and then the people fix them and fuck them. And then they fix them. The robots aren't jazzed And when you kill a robot they stay dead? No
They get taken away and then the people fix them and fuck them
And then they fix them
Yeah
It's very funny to imagine
So say I'm in Westworld and I'm on a horse and cart
With a guy, with a robot
We're riding along and we're going at like max speed
Whatever the fastest horse and buggy can go
And then I just turn around and shoot
The cowboy who has the reins.
And I die.
No, because they shoot the horse.
Yeah, I'm like, bang, bang, bang,
bang, and I just turn and look at the cat.
And we crash.
And I die or get injured. Can I soothe
the bark? Yes!
Yes? Yeah.
What?
Where's the safety protocol?
They say I can, any delight or pleasure I want in the world,
my pleasure is being in a car accident.
Make it safe for me.
My pleasure was brap, brap, two in the head, dual horse,
and then me going, like, flinging through the air.
Are the horses robots?
Yeah, everything is.
Every animal or person is robots. The only thing that aren't robots everything is. Every animal or person is a robot.
It's the only thing that aren't robots are flies.
Yeah.
I don't know why.
I don't know how the flies got in.
How can you tell the difference between a robot and a person?
You can't.
Well, I mean, if you cut them open.
They cut open Dolores at one point.
She's got machinery in her.
Yeah.
Which would make her lumpy, but they never fucking touch her.
So what you do is you shoot.
No, but so like.
Like, all right.
So your gun, you go and you shoot like a robot.
Bang, they're dead.
Bleh!
You shot me, partner!
The same gun, you go to an MP,
like as a player character,
as in a person, a real life person,
and you go, shoot, and it doesn't work.
You fucking idiot,
that only works on the robots,
is what they would say.
Ah!
So the gun only shoots robots.
A robot can't shoot you.
It's like, bang, bang,
but it does nothing. I'm not quite sure if it like, does the projectile go out of the bullet A robot can't shoot you. It's like bang, bang, but just nothing happens.
I'm not quite sure if it's like, does the projectile go out of the bullet?
I don't think so.
Or does it like, when you're shooting a robot, what happens?
No, it just, you shoot the robot, the bullet goes into the robot, the robot dies.
Like physically what's happening.
Your bullet is leaving your gun.
Yes, as a bullet leaves a gun.
Hits a robot, kills a robot.
So this gun can fire a projectile.
Yes.
And then I point at a person.
Yeah.
Why does it not work?
I think they say the gun has a magic technology on it
that means that it doesn't affect people.
Okay.
So what if I'm not aiming at you and I aim at a wall?
And you fire?
And I fire.
A bullet comes out of the gun.
Okay.
So what if that wall I can ricochet?
Is bouncy. What if it can ricochet is bouncy what i can
ricochet that's funny because mine was so much more direct i'm like what if instead of shooting
i flipped the gun around and bashed you in the back of the head with the hand well that's also
true but i'm trying to get away with this like you know just this yeah surely it'll ricochet
kill the guy okay cool yeah now what if i flip the gun around and just and shoot myself in the
head or bash you over the head with it.
I'm assuming I'll die as well.
What if I'm like, okay, so sort of what happens
with old mate man in black when he's a young boy.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I forgot those two times.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then it turned out everyone was like.
That's another issue we're going to talk about in a sec.
Everyone was like, okay, I'll brace myself.
So he's like, goes to his mate who he's like marrying your sister or
whatever but also you're a piece of shit but i'll be wait what and he doesn't mind never mind not
incest no no no he's marrying his friend's sister so it's like whatever but like his mate's giving
him gentle ribbing which is not gentle it's kind of like being a piece of shit yeah he snaps and
basically ties him up no one is interveninging. I know, it's crazy.
No one is being like, he has basically kidnapped a man now.
They walk for what seems like days with his mate tied up behind the horse,
like with a rope, so he has to walk as the horse trots.
Nude, mind you, for a lot of it.
And all of the fucking Delos people,
Delos is a company that runs Westworld, I think,
looking over the thing being like yeah
that's cool what if i like what if he snapped further what if he was like got a rock yeah well
fucking you have knives you cannot stop a knife from slicing a neck that's just
don't care how fucking technologically advanced you can't quickly blunt a knife exactly and what
if you were just like you could plead being like oh i thought it was a robot i thought it was a
robot yeah even though he's my good mate or like you just go on a wild killing spree and you kill Exactly. And what if you were just like, you could plead being like, oh. I thought it was a robot. I thought it was a robot.
Yeah.
Even though he's my good mate.
Or like, you just go on a wild killing spree and you kill everybody and you accidentally kill some, like a family and you're like, I honestly, I didn't know.
Fuck, that is actually such a big problem.
Because say you're like, you got two people.
Me, the three of us.
The two Joles are like, hey, you know what would be fun?
Let's join the Union soldiers and we'll do the Union soldier quest.
Yes.
So you guys do that.
You're chilling in a Union soldier camp, drinking Union soldier beer.
I'm like, I'm going to kill every goddamn Union soldier in this place.
And I know I can't.
Yeah.
So I sneak in.
I start slitting throats.
Oh, this doesn't work because I know you guys.
So we don't know.
We just don't know each other.
I'm not going to come up to you and be like, that's a robot, Joll Salmon.
Slice the neck.
But yes, I don't know you. I'd just be, Joel Sandman. Slice the neck. But yes, I don't know you.
Do you see the thing?
Just be like another Union soldier,
slice the neck.
You bleed, I'm like,
so did every other fucking robot.
Well, that's the thing,
because every other person is like,
player character,
is a person that's there.
And my storyline,
say I'm going to be fighting for the Union
and you're fighting with a Confederate.
All right.
Hey, hang on.
Hey, hey, hey.
Hold the phone.
Okay, so you're, say, fighting for the Union,
and I'm being like,
well, I'm going to be fighting for the Confederates these days.
I feel kind of kooky.
Yeah.
So I do that.
You don't know me from Job, and you're like, whatever.
I'm there drinking with my Confederate pals,
being like, isn't it fun?
Slavery's okay.
And they're like, it is.
And I'm like, this is fucked.
This is weird
I can have this experience
Super fucked
And then we keep drinking
And I fall asleep at the camp
Because I'm a little bit drunk
And you can't start creeping up
And you're like
I'm going to stealth this mission
I don't want to go
And gun blazing
I'm going to do a stealth run
You grab your knife
You stab
You grab the first confederate
By the mouth
And then you just
We just throw
And you push
He bleeds.
You're like, whatever.
Go to another one.
Same thing.
Oh, it's fine.
Go to sleeping boy.
Drunk Joel's grinning.
Ear to ear.
Grab his mouth.
Slit his throat.
He falls down and he starts bleeding.
You're like, I killed another robot.
It's fine.
You keep going.
You keep killing more and more robots.
I'm there being like.
When I leave the park, are they like, you're under arrest?
I'm like, you're under arrest?
I'm like, why?
Because you could do it so not knowingly?
Yeah, absolutely.
There's nothing that's going to... It's not like I'm going to go down and a big booming voice is going to be like,
hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, that's a guy.
I think I remember saying at some point that they're like,
if something like that does start to happen,
they try and send people in to stop it.
But I just don't think people would be quick enough.
Well, yeah, if I'm there being like stealthy boy like slitting throats yeah i mean maybe
and this is the thing they've got to be on the books presumably you're doing a stealth mission
at night yeah yeah because you're not an idiot yeah and so like um presumably the people who
are kind of maintaining this or watching over this and somehow because we don't know how they're
watching it they've got like little blips on a map. There's no eye in the sky watching down.
It's not a Hunger Games sort of situation.
So they can be like, okay, so I guess he's doing a raid.
Okay, cool, cool, cool.
Do they know to make, oh shit, maybe we've got to quickly program it
and wake one of the dickheads up to be like, blah, blah, blah.
But even in that situation, in the revelry of the fight
and you stabbing people.
I'm not going to know.
You're not going to know and I don't have the wherewithal to be like,
I'm a dude, don't kill me.
Because you might look at me and be like, oh, cool, a robot.
A robot.
And I'll be like, oh, now we're going to have a sick knife fight.
Oh, they made this robot wrong.
This one's dumpy.
He doesn't look like a real person.
This one's a badly made one.
This is going to be easy to kill.
And we both stab each other.
Yeah.
That's very funny to imagine the people at delos looking at the blips and they're like oh yeah cool two guys in the oh they're both out
because like the robots themselves they they plead for their lives yeah they're like please
don't kill me there's a whole point of them is they want them to have that kind of idea that
they think that they are alive that's too real it's far too real because it's like, what's his name?
Again, Men in Black kills someone's daughter.
Yeah.
He's like, I want to do the grossest thing I can think of.
Yeah.
Which, you know, he does.
Yeah.
Kill someone's daughter.
Like a kid.
Like, she's like, ooh, like six years old or something.
And he just kills her.
And he's like, brap, brap, two in the head.
Because he can.
Yeah.
Is she a robot?
Yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
His wife died from like a cancer or something.
So he kind of just was like, I'm going to kill a kid.
I don't know.
I think...
All right.
It's weird.
As someone who has not seen this,
and as, like, an outsider perspective,
and, like, look, I came into this, I was like,
kind of like, hey, let's see if you sell me on Westworld.
It kind of seems like they're just like, humanity is fucked.
Yeah.
Let's cater to that. Yeah. If things go wrong, humanity's like, humanity is fucked. Yeah. Let's cater to that.
Yeah. If things go wrong, humanity
is fucked, so who cares? Yeah.
Yeah. It's funny that it's
quite good, almost, that you didn't know
Westworld, because we're telling you
just stuff about it, and you've got that
you're like, it's like a pitch meeting.
We're like, so?
Would you invest? Oh, also,
before we even decide yes or no,
I did say we'd circle back
to the two different timelines.
So, a guy from
Always Sunny, McFoyle,
he's there as a young boy
doing some adventures,
travelling with Dolores. And the reason why we think
this is the same timeline is because
the story doesn't fucking change.
So they've been rebelling for like 20 years.
Well, not been rebelling.
It's just the same storyline or a similar storyline.
It's the same plot.
It's the same plot.
Oh, right.
As in the same.
I thought you meant the TV show, but you mean the Westworld.
Yeah, the Westworld.
It's like if, again, using World of Warcraft as a good example.
It's like, sick.
They didn't release any expansions.
Yeah, didn't do any expansions.
Yeah.
Or they only slightly changed the storyline.
Which is just-
And you're like, this is fine.
This was good for the first year.
Now it's been how many years now?
Yeah.
Because what's the different age gap between Ed Harris and someone's-
Oh.
Stimson?
I can't remember anybody's names ever.
Bonnie Stinson is How I Met Your Mother.
He is.
Bad bloke.
Bad bloke.
The world's most quickly aged television series.
Guinness World Record.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Nick Foyle.
The age gap there is quite a lot.
Like what?
Several decades?
At the very least, at least 20 years.
He's aged poorly.
Probably more than 20 years.
It's a slimy guy from It's Always Sunny, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it's Ed Harris.
It's the same bloke. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's not 20 years. Yeah, that's like what?
That'd be closer to 40.
Yeah, maybe more like 40 years.
40 years. Also, another thing
It's good that we're debating this because this is a
television series where there is 100% going to be
a proper answer for how many years.
So, apart from it being maybe
like 60 years um 127 years definitive answer well who knew so there's um this guy um uh so he's like
the park director for a bit and he's in charge of all the robots but i'm known as him he is secretly
a robot and uh good i like when they make robots not know their robots and
like people things never go wrong great let me guess does something go wrong yes of course uh
but he's also modeled designed after the original parks like co-founder so he has the guy's face
and doesn't age so it's very kind of strange that anyone who may have like, oh, I remember, I've seen pictures.
Remember that Time article when it was first announced?
Yeah.
Shit, you look surprisingly and remarkably like Arnold,
who's gone missing in the park.
Oh, that's right, there's that mystery.
So the first guy who died was the co-creator of the park.
Yep, that's a perfect thing to build your park.
That's the perfect beginning. You your... That's the perfect...
You know Walt Disney's good friend, Arnold,
that no one talks about?
It's like if Ub Iwerks,
the moment Disney's like,
we've made Mickey Mouse,
and then Ub Iwerks got shot by Mickey Mouse,
and they're like,
Mickey Mouse is going to make us millions somehow still.
It's between 30 and 37 years okay there you go so in 37 years
like westworld just hasn't changed nothing the plots are the same plots are the same i mean
they've designed the robots have gotten better so they don't you cut them open they no longer
just robotty parts it's kind of open there's like blood and guts so you're like i'm killing a person
yeah but like the story but the storyline also. Also, also, also, fuck, man.
Wait, what is the storyline?
Shut up.
Okay.
So there's this one point where they go to this town.
Yep.
And so they do certain things.
Rather than siding with one person, which is what you're meant to do,
they do something else or whatever.
And then he witnesses people who are just painted all in gold paint.
They just have an orgy.
And that's like a secret bonus thing that only he himself was witnessing.
So in this scenario, there had to be this time,
this programmer being like, okay, if X happens, then Y has to happen.
And then if Y is happening, so this kind of creates the scenario
where we get the gold bots to come in and have an orgy that he can participate in if he or she wants to, but he doesn't really.
But if he wants to, all the gold robots are just going to have a nice orgy.
So this is the orgy scene, which isn't part of our narrative.
It's almost like an Easter egg.
Why?
It's why would they do that?
Well, it is a park designed to fucking kill yeah
but i'm like it's just kind of weird that this under these very specific circumstances you
unlock a gold orgy i know i get it now now it's a reward okay no no no no it's cool no it's good
no it's good it's like a fucking hidden yeah it's a riddler trophy in batman yeah exactly yeah yeah
i regret everything I just said.
You're right.
It's like, I know the secret of getting the gold orgy.
Have you experienced a gold orgy at Westworld?
Yeah, it's like if you go on the Westworld forums and you're like,
I got to the gold orgy.
Has anyone else seen it?
And then people are like, gold orgy, question mark, question mark.
Someone's like, doesn't exist.
Myth.
Then we're like.
Anyone got nude Tomb Raider codes?
I hear they exist.
And then we'll post pictures of us in this gold orgy.
Yeah.
Me and like, look at me in the gold orgy.
Please ignore penis.
I can't.
You've only focused in on your penis.
Please ignore penis.
Please ignore penis.
I cannot figure out how to blur.
The orgy's blurred.
It's just his cock.
I don't know what I did wrong would appreciate help anyone know photoshop um someone like responds to it it's just they've taken his
cock and just made it gold and replaced all the people in the orgy with his penis yep his reply Yep. His reply, please don't. Serious responses only.
Guys.
Oh.
Oh.
Don't look.
Reported.
This user is banned.
Yeah, what's weird with, like, the orgy stuff and all the fucking,
is that so Arnold and fucking what's his face?
Ford.
They're like, we've made this park and we're about basically,
there's like so many dissonant ideas.
They're like, we're about making real life people.
We basically want to create like AI, the singularity.
We're looking for sentience in these machines.
Someone else is like, we'll do it through a cowboy guys,
which is first the strangest.
What was the first idea idea was it a robot park
a fucking park or a live robot is it robert ford sorry maybe yeah well ford uh he was basically
been like uh because his childhood remember he was like i love playing a cowboy yeah and so he
was like we're gonna make i think him and arnold got together and like let's make ai and then ford
was like what if you're cowboys let's make a cowboy you know Ford was like, what if it were cowboys? Let's make a cowboy AI. You know what should be fun?
Cowboys.
Cowboy park.
With fucking.
I love cowboy parks.
But then who?
And then Arnold's like,
what if it was cowboy park,
but fucking.
Do you think Arnold brought in the fucking?
That feels like a weird caveat they had to make.
What if cowboy park,
but fucking,
but kill?
They were like,
Arnold and they're like,
let's make a robot.
Like,
yes.
And then like,
what kind of,
how do they draw robots? And Ford's like, I love cowboys. And I were like, Arnold and they're like, let's make a robot. They're like, yes. And then they're like, well, how do we make robots?
And Ford's like, I love cowboys.
And Arnold's like, fuck off, me too.
And they take it to the investors.
And they're like, we want to make a cowboy park.
And they're like, cool.
And then one guy's there, maybe the CEO's son of Dallas.
Like, can I fuck him?
Yeah.
And then in a moment of panic, Arnold and Ford are like, yes.
Like, they just need the funding.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, of course.
That's going to be like mostly what the park's about. they do this face yes of course it is yeah it's good
because you at least you threw in a noise but audio medium i know i was hoping one of you
explained that yeah he did the scrunched up regret face i'm like oh geez i'm saying i did
oh don't push that too far oh and so every time they're like look we've made this
Some delicious amazing robot
With like guns
I like to imagine
What a penis or joint
Like a big board meeting and they're like here it is
We've created AI I'm like gonna fuck
And they're like oh
Not at the moment I'm like yeah dad don't invest
Come fuck him
Dad what I love to do well son
you love to fuck yeah what do i have trouble doing fucking son yeah that's right dick don't work no
dick work find my brain wrong i am a bad bloke you know how maybe maybe it is it's like someone
being like so my son has a problem with every woman or man he meets. Hates him.
He keeps killing after he has sex, and it's costing me a lot of money in legal fees and covering that up.
So what if, look, Ford and Arnold, you're making this park.
How about I, look, honestly, it'll cost me less.
Yeah.
And, like, morally clean.
Can you make robots that my son can fuck and then kill?
Or was it just kind of like a side effect?
They're like, here's Westworld.
I guess you can fuck the robots, but they're not really designed for it.
People go in and one person's like, I'm just going to fuck the robots.
They're looking at it like, this Jackson guy has just spent his whole time fucking robots.
Maybe that's what we should focus on.
Maybe.
Are there microtransactions in Westworld?
Well, there should be.
Can I pay a little bit extra to get a better gun or a proper toilet so I don't have to
shit in the prospector's mail?
Also, what I'm thinking is, like, what if I have, like, a certain procrivility to, like,
a certain kind of what I like?
Yeah.
Say I'm like, I really want a...
Look, I like me an uncircumcised dick.
Yeah.
That's for me.
That's what you're about.
So the moment I'm like, you sexy cowboy, I undo his, like, belt.
Yeah. I pull out his dick. I'm like, yes. I grab the base. I, like, flop it out. I'm like that's what you're the moment i'm like he's sexy cowboy i undo his like belt yeah i pull out his dick i'm like yes i grab the base i like flop it out and i'm like ah you cut ah you've ruined it for me lime lime or the reverse to be like i want me to cut dick i'm like
a wormy yeah what am i doing with this this is not good also why do they get the robots like
why can the robots fuck each other? Yeah, that's weird.
I don't like that they can get a flashlight and a dildo and, like, fuck.
It's just weird.
No, that's good for me.
I'm going to be walking around the park.
If I find them fucking, I'm going to be like, you know you're not really fucking.
I'm going to be the worst at Westworld.
We're trying for a baby.
His dick don't work.
His no sperm.
His suit and blank.
I don't know why.
I just really like the idea of
like people in a relationship like a well i guess a man and a lady but just like both have one having
a like a vibrator or a dildo and one having a flashlight and then just storing them in each
other to save space and that is in my head that is cute that is it's nice it's's practical. Wholesome. Yeah.
Very.
That's good.
Listeners, do that.
Send us a photo.
Don't.
Don't.
Don't.
Don't. Don't do that.
If you work in a sex shop, yes.
If they're your personal ones, no.
If you've broken into a sex shop and are doing it as part of a robbery, yes.
As part of a robbery.
We call him the dildo in flashlight killer.
What?
No.
That's not a robbery.
That's a murder.
It's their calling card.
I keep sending them to this one podcast.
We don't know why.
I hate that I'm in court because of this.
Our PO box is full of dildos inside fleshlights.
I can't get any mail anymore.
We are to blame, Your Honour.
Put us away.
Lock us up.
These violent delights really ended in violent ends.
Yeah.
Look, Worst world is a confusing place that i feel like honestly at the end of
the day is more trouble than it's worth like we haven't even touched upon the fact that it's a
week at the best you get in there and that's just not enough time to do everything yeah and i mean
i mean that's the point of it you wouldn't but like it's to the point where i'm like oh here's
a quest i'm doing i get like halfway through and it's like matt matt you got to the point where I'm like, oh, here's a quest I'm doing. I get, like, halfway through, and it's like, Matt, Matt, you gotta come back.
And I'm like, well, fuck.
And I'm probably gonna start the quest again.
Can't go up to the same guy and be like, hey, remember when we were in the desert earlier?
We were looking for the fucking-
Oh, you know some of these shortcuts.
You'd be like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Let's go.
Oh, that's true.
I'm just gonna say the right phrase.
Yeah.
Maybe I can say that when they're telling me to put on a black hat or a white hat or
whatever in that one room
Or that barmaid outfit
Yeah
Or nude
I'm a natural man
And then I pat him on the cheek condescendingly and walk out into Westworld
Yeah, it's good
There's a lot wrong with Westworld and it doesn't make sense in a world
And also, like, some of the storylines are subtle
There's no, like, again, going back to World of Warcraft
No, you're like,, oh there's a quest because
there's a guy with a big
exclamation being like, I have a thing
for you. This is like, it's subtle.
It's not even like D&D subtle where it's like
it's not very subtle. This is
extremely subtle. Well, I have been known to
play D&D by standing on a table
in a bar at the starting point.
Hey! Where's the quest?
Who's got things for me to do?
That's a good strat.
I don't think I could do that in Westworld.
No, although it's funny to imagine you getting in, Dusha,
in your cowboy outfit, standing on the thing,
being like, who has quests?
I'll do quests.
I'm all on an adventure.
What's the reward for a quest?
There's another problem as well.
Like, do I get a sweet gun?
Do I get, like, you know... because, again, it's just me.
Yeah.
It's just me.
And no matter how great I am.
Self-satisfaction.
You did a thing.
Is that all they're promising me?
Like, they're like, Jackson, do this prospector's quest.
And I'm like, at the end of this quest, I get, like, a sick gun.
New outfit, maybe.
No.
No.
No.
I get to the end.
He's like, you found the treasure.
Do I get a sweet new outfit?
Do I get, like, a different skin for my gun?
Do I get maybe a free week there?
No, I get nothing.
It's not about the end, it's about the
journey.
I actually, you know, I kind of get
why you'd fuck. Because actually
the game itself sucks.
There's actually
that's not a fun part of worst world yeah i'm there for
fucking and killing no i've come around yeah look to be honest because at the end of the day i'm
like cool what do i get out of this you're like oh it's the journey i'd rather go on the worst
world wikipedia yeah to be like hey what were the cool quests can you give me like the um the spark
notes yeah and because i can't be bothered playing the game read about it like oh that's kind of neat
and maybe there might be a few i go around, but honestly, I think I'm going to be
fucking and killing. Because I can't be bothered
my whole week there, and I've done the
prospector quest, and the...
Also, there are a finite number of
cowboy adventures you can have.
Sorry to any cowboys listening.
But...
Tarnation! I was going to say, what's the opposite
of yee-haw? Tarnation, I guess.
Ha-yee. Ha- guess. Ha-yee.
Ha-yee.
Ha-yee.
Yeah, there just are a finite number of cowboy adventures to have
that don't boil down to the same thing.
They're probably all fucking fetch quests anyway.
Like, oh, go get this, bring it back.
Fetch quest, journey quest, which ends up being a fetch quest
because you've got to come back because you've got to leave at some point.
Yeah.
What if I go native?
What if I go native yeah what if i go native yeah i think that's good like you get two into but like can like i've got like what if they get to the point where i'm like
they're just like gone full native i'm like they can't find me yeah yeah you're i'm like off the
fucking grid they send their boys to come in and try and like you know shoot me arrest me and take
me away and i just go get my knife yeah i don't i guess you just kill them i go to fucking
town because i've been trained i've been trained that 10 that 10 000 hour principle and i've had
10 000 hours of stabbing confederates in the neck yeah it's for union depending how i'm feeling
it's funny to imagine like you finish the prospector quest and you're like what is my
reward and he's like the core strength you get from the walk here which is why i think this whole
whole like westworld would be much better as viha yeah absolutely same thing and i get to stay at
home done and it's not it's not hot yeah just before we wrap up because i feel like that's
where this is going yeah do they refer to rewards at the end of quests as Easter eggs?
Because I fucking hate that.
There's no rewards.
There's no rewards.
But they never refer to like, oh, you found an Easter egg and it's actually just like-
Okay.
No.
No.
There's nothing.
No rewards, no Easter eggs.
Just some fucking maze in the inside of a man's sculpt that he somehow found out about.
It's actually not even an Easter egg.
It's just like weird.
It's like the developer code an actual easter egg would be the orgy yeah the orgy is i guess which is fine but yeah no it's just because i was worried that because in ready player
one they're like oh you're gonna find the easter egg no that's a main quest yeah yeah if you're
making a thing about video games and i don't know why i'm dying on this hill use the right
terminology absolutely exactly also don't go to westfield there's nothing there for you wiki not only do i
not want to go i don't really want to watch the show we basically spoiled every twist this episode
so oh yeah spoilers you're welcome you're welcome and on that note i've been joel i've been jacks
and i've also been joel don't go to westfield, don't fuck, don't kill. Go to church.
No, no. Go to Christ World.
Read a Bible for us. Could I then punch Jesus
in the face? No! Unless you want to go
to hell.
Sinner boy. Thanks for listening, and if you want to follow us on Twitter,
you can find us at Sandspants Radio,
or you can find us individually.
I'm at Douche13.
I'm at OldDogsOfDead.
And I'm at GodDammitZammit.
If you want to hear our other shows,
you can head to SandspantsRadio.com,
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There's heaps.
And if you want to support us,
head to sanspantsplus.com.
Thank you again for listening
and we'll see you again next time.
Good night for now.
But not forever.
Kisses.