Plumbing the Death Star - Why'd They Put Krang There? Is That Even a Good Spot for Him? with James aka Mr Sunday Movies
Episode Date: July 14, 2024After last week Daddy had to go lay down, but never fear, our good friend James aka Mr Sunday Movies is here to fill in that Zammit-shaped hole to talk all things Krang! Well really one thing Krang: w...hy’d they put him there? He’s so exposed to one swift punch to the bread-basket! Krang can’t look anyone in the eyes and is the perfect height for crop dusting. Surely there’s a better place to put Krang in a robot body? Either way we can all agree that Krang looks so fun to punt, throw off a cliff or cook like a haggis. We don’t know much but we do know we want to wreck Krang’s day.You can find James on the Weekly Planet Podcast or on his YouTube channel Mr Sunday Movies.If you’re in the UK and want to see these three beautiful boys live and in the flesh, head on over to https://www.sanspantsradio.com/events/category/live-shows/ and grab your tickets today to see them in London, Edinburgh and/or Manchester. Birmingham show TBA! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
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Ahem, ahem.
You're listening to the Sandspants Network.
Hey everyone, and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star.
I'm Joel.
I'm Jackson.
And today we're joined by a very special guest and very special friend, James, aka Mr. Sunday Movies.
Wow, it's good to be a friend.
It's good to be a friend.
And a guest.
And a guest.
Both is good.
It's better to be a friend than a guest.
I think so.
We've had guests on that weren't friends.
Yeah.
I'll say it.
And friends that came on and then became guests by the time they left.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Flaming the Death Star is a comedy pop culture podcast that asks the important questions.
Like, why'd they put Krang there?
Is that even a good spot for it?
God, it's a good question though, isn't it?
It's a great question. It's a real thing. But before we get to that. Before we get to that, the reason
that we're joined by our good friend and guest
James is because all three of us are heading to the UK together.
That's true.
We're going to go and do a little freaking tour, dude.
It'll be the Weekly Planet, which is James' podcast,
live with Plumbing the Death Star, which is this podcast.
You're watching right now and listening to.
Yeah.
So it will be us two and James.
Joel Zammett, unfortunately, will not make it.
And Nick Mason, fortunately, won't be able to make it either.
If this is the first time you're hearing about it,
the dates are Friday the 13th,
Plumbing the Death Star Live from the London Podcast Festival featuring James.
Yeah, I'll be there.
Thank God.
At time of recording, there's like 35 seats left.
So hope you move quick. Get in quick.
And then on Saturday the 14th at the
London Podcast Festival, it's the Weekly Planet
featuring me and Jackson. If you want
to buy tickets to that, and that sounds exciting,
too bad! You missed it! Nice try!
But,
on Wednesday the 18th,
we'll be performing in Edinburgh.
And on Saturday the 21st, we'll be performing in Edinburgh. And on Saturday the 21st, we'll be performing in Manchester
with a show in Birmingham coming soon.
TBA.
Yeah, it'll be announced.
It's their fault.
We want to.
Yeah, we want to.
We'd love to announce it, but we've got to figure some stuff out first.
They've got a guy that keeps not replying to emails
and then replying and being real keen,
but then he's not working the next day.
We're figuring it out.
Anyway, we'll get to it.
He's more of a guest than a friend.
Yeah.
Currently, but I think there's friend in the future.
The live tour information will be in the show notes below.
And yeah, hopefully we'll see you there.
If you're not from the UK, please don't fly for this.
Don't see us there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Don't put that much pressure on us.
We don't want that.
We don't want that.
We're coming to the UK.
You don't need to go anywhere.
Unless you live in the UK, then you could do a bit of traffic.
Yeah, you can drive a little bit, but don't get on a plane for this.
Yeah, come on.
But speaking of places things are, Krang.
So Krang.
God.
From the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
All you need to know about Krang is that he's a little brain guy.
Yes.
I did, while I was taking a shit, I hooked up Craig to try and learn a little bit more about him.
And let me tell you, none of it is of any use for what we're talking about today.
And it's like, which version?
Because some version, because in the original, the cartoon, it's implied that he had a body and he needs a new body.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So like he's part of, there was more to him?
He was like a lizard man, I think, initially.
And then he lost his body through science.
And somebody made him the android body that he lives in now.
Or they took it from him.
They took his body?
I've heard that in some versions.
Yeah, like he's a criminal.
He's like the Hitler.
In the 2003 version, I believe.
And this might also be in the original comic, which gets very bizarre very quickly.
Yeah, he's like, there's a bunch of Krangs.
Yeah.
And he's like the worst one.
He's the worst Krang.
Oh, my God.
I'm so glad we've got four Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles to keep us safe from the worst
Krang.
Yeah, exactly.
It's funny.
Yeah.
So when Krang gets this android body.
Yeah.
And this has always baffled me.
He doesn't, and he is a head.
Yeah. But he doesn't go where the head would go
no
he goes
right to the guts
now
when you punch someone
obviously
in the head
you can punch someone too
yeah sure
but the guts
are right there
and also
if that robot body
just stops
is Krang gonna
slop out onto the floor
almost certainly
it just seems like
a crazy place to put a crank.
It's dangerous to hit someone in the head.
There's bone. It's like hitting someone
in the stomach or in the crank.
It's a safe punch.
Oh, you cranked me, bro!
Right in the crank.
You can't miss.
You can't break your hand on a forehead
or whatever. Even if you punch
weird.
You know, like a... You're going to be alright. You can't break your hand on a forehead or whatever. Exactly. Even if you punch weird.
You're going to be all right.
It's also funny because if I was fighting Krang and I would aim for the Krang,
you know what I mean?
Straight up.
It's not like he has any protection there.
He's got a glass screen or something.
Exactly.
It should be like a microwave, right?
You press the button, the door open, and you pull Krang out and dunk him or whatever.
But yeah, if you're
aiming, if you're in a fight with a regular person,
you're like, head too tough, I'll go for the stomach anyway.
With this, you're like, head too tough, the stomach
it's like
it's weaker than a regular stomach.
Also, just like, you got a bat, it's so easy
to hit someone in the stomach with a bat.
Oh, yeah.
Golf club?
Yeah.
Every weapon was made.
It's a bigger target as well.
Got a gun?
Yeah.
Shoot the Krang, baby.
You can, like you said, you can just pull him out as well.
You can really just two hands.
What can he do?
Also, the machine shuts down then, right?
Because he's got little like-
He's got a doohickeys.
It's an apparatus.
It's an apparatus.
It's like a suit of... A robot suit for him, basically.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Exactly.
What do you...
Get in the robot, Krang, hey?
Yeah, dude.
Evangelion reference?
Krang-Vangelion?
Yeah, yeah.
Krang-Vangelion.
Neon Genesis Krang-Vangelion.
If you were Krang...
Yeah.
No, okay.
I'd have an awesome life.
Obviously. But it's a bad place to go if you're Krang. Yeah. No, okay. I'd have an awesome life. Obviously.
But it's a bad place to go if you're Krang.
Yeah.
But he went there.
Yeah.
What's Krang getting out of it?
Being stomach height.
Well, Shredder, because recently re-watching those with my son,
it's like, where do you start with Ninja Turtles?
I guess this version.
Yeah.
I think we did the first four and then we're not going further than this.
This show, it's not good.
The first four, pretty solid. Pretty solid solid it's closer to the comics or whatever but he's like begging shredder to build
him a body yeah so shredder makes the in the cartoon at least the initial krang it was shredder's
choice yeah which is like a wild thing to request and that shredder can do yeah and then be like
yep here it is.
Yeah.
If you're Krang, you're like, hey, man, awesome body.
I appreciate it.
Why am I in this?
You want to be at head height just for eyeline alone.
Yeah.
When the Ninja Turtles talk to Krang, they're going to look down.
Yeah.
And Krang can't even really look up because he's in.
Yeah.
True.
It's truly a baffling place to put Krang.
Well, I think it's Shredder's plan to like,
you don't want him too overpowered.
It's funny that mixing his head from head height into his stomach
is the thing that keeps him regular powered.
The only thing stopping Krang from being OP is his ability to see.
If he's a couple of foot shorter, then we'll be safe.
If he's a couple of feet taller, then we'll be safe. If he's a couple of feet taller,
we're in trouble.
It's over.
Yeah.
It's funny then,
why do you think
they gave the robot a head?
Yeah.
Oh, unless,
is it meant to be like a disguise?
It's not very good.
Like, is it like,
does he wear like coats and shit?
No, it has probably happened.
Yeah.
But not really.
Like, he's also like nine feet tall.
Yeah.
And also like,
I guess you got Bebop and Rocksteady
just rolling around
looking like
two fucked up guys
also that thing
that he's in
I know it would like
stop if he's out of it
but it does have expression
like when he's being attacked
and you see
because in the first episodes
he grows really big
and the ninjas
go inside
I don't know if you remember
and they have to knock out
like the crystal
that made him grow
and as they're fighting him he's like he's all like he can kind of feel pain yeah
i think something there's something going on i don't know specifically what his body is a robot
body but maybe can feel pain still maybe which defeats the whole purpose of a robot body but i
guess if he just wants a body yeah wait is his body, is his head stomach height? He was originally
a lizard monster.
Was his head in? I don't think it was. I think
it was just at the face, right?
I think you can Google it. Have a quick Google.
Get out your little machine and look up
where is Krang's real head.
Let me just say, because I was a kid in the 90s
a million years ago
and the Krang toy
you could get, it was the one where he,
it was like a little kind of ostrich.
Like it had two skinny little like legs.
So,
cause it's always like yay big,
right?
You know,
like the size of a Ninja Turtle figure
and the Krang was in the top.
So you'd have to pay extra
to get the super Krang.
So you could only get,
wait,
so you could only get Krang
on like a little,
what?
Yeah.
It's just basically like
on a little platform
with two like, two metal ostrich legs.
That's so funny.
Yeah, because it was cheaper than...
Yeah, of course.
But the option was there
to buy the big Krang,
but that was a whole situation.
That's like getting the Technodrome, really.
You have to be a rich kid.
I was never a Ninja Turtles kid.
Would you want Krang?
Not really.
I think, you know,
you get Shredder,
you get Bebop and Roxette.
Shredder could barely stand up.
If you remember the toy, it's all hunched over and crooked.
They don't really look like anything.
Yeah, I think it was one of those things where they designed the toys
and then we'll figure it out later in the show.
And then there was a million.
And you couldn't get them.
Oh, you're looking at the toys.
No, I'm looking at the original.
That's what Crane used to look like.
He's huge.
He's a huge lizard and he's been reduced to a brain in his stomach.
But then...
That's the thing I'm talking about.
Oh, so you could get like a little...
That's got a glass dome over the top of it.
Yeah, that's so much better.
Is he holding a cup?
Yeah, it looks like it.
He's got a cup of coffee.
Yeah, he does.
It's like he's got a big thing of like like fucking drinking chocolate or
something and then yeah there's krang as we know him today just above the dick just right above the
dick the pubic hair would be just under his chin yeah what to what end why i guess shredder he loves
it based on this photo which is good for audio medium. Yeah. Oh, Krang's having a great time. Oh, yeah. I mean, God bless Krang.
That'd make a great t-shirt, a Krang t-shirt.
Oh, yes.
That's good stuff.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm trying to think, is there a-
Fucking Krang.
Just let me just say that.
Fucking Krang, dude.
Krang, what's your voice sound like?
I always imagine it as, I'm Krang.
I love it in the stomach.
I can see everyone else's stomach.
That's where you're most vulnerable, so. That's where I am, so I'm Krang, I love it in the stomach. I can see everyone else's stomach. That's where you're most vulnerable, so...
That's where I am, so I'm extra vulnerable.
What?
Don't stop me.
If I saw Krang in real life...
Yeah, sure.
I think I would be scared that Krang was going to get in my stomach.
Do you think that's reasonable?
Yeah, like...
Like, if I was up against Krang, I would be, like, protecting my belly.
Oh, you think that you were like, oh, that
guy he's in was also a guy and then he ate
his stomach out and then became... Now he lives
in his stomach. Good point. I mean, that could
be true. Like I wouldn't know what I was seeing if
I saw Krang. Or I'd be like, that man's brain
fell out of his head. Yeah.
Into his stomach. Can that happen?
Well, yeah, you gotta make sure you
gotta keep your brain switched.
Like, you gotta keep your stomach full.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But then if you have any...
I imagine that it would happen if you, like, did a big jump.
Oh, okay, yeah, yeah.
But it dislodges your brain, which goes down your neck and into your stomach.
Into your stomach, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then it's also a guy.
And then it gets a face, yeah.
Sometimes they're also called utroms.
Okay.
And in the 2003 cartoon, which was a little bit after my time,
Shredder is the Krang.
What?
So there's a, the Shredder's in it for like, I can't remember how many episodes.
Yeah.
And there's a moment where he goes to fight Leonardo and Leonardo fucking beheads him.
And you're like, oh shit, this is like.
Like Shredder's dead.
Yeah.
Cause that's more based on like the original comics and it's kind of more, that's not super
violent, but it's kind of more violent.
And you think Shredder is dead, but he's a Krang.
So the Shredder in that is not Shredder.
He's a, every, all, that's, what I love
about the Ninja Turtles is they
fuck around with the mythology so much.
Because it's so weird and there's so much there.
Absolutely. When he's a Krang,
because I always assume that the Krangs are quite vulnerable.
Yeah. Is he vulnerable as
just a Krang? Yeah.
I mean, you could punt him, you know?
That's what I keep thinking.
Yeah.
Or just squish him with my shoe.
Well, like, I know this is a very big derailment, but it's, well, it's not that big.
It's still about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, which is rare for us.
Jackson, you're taking off your jumper mid-episode.
I'm hot.
Yeah, fair enough.
Maybe it's hot in here.
Yeah, we should have turned the aircon on before we started.
Don't know why we didn't.
We'll turn.
Seems like a waste of time.
Anyway, someone has asked if the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have ever teamed up with Shredder
or Krang to take on something worse.
Yeah.
And I think that this is funny.
And this is huge props to Shredder for this.
Shout out.
Shout out to Shredder for this.
In the 2012 series, they did try to team up with Shredder once, but being as evil as he is, he took the opportunity
to try and murder Splinter mid-battle.
God damn it. God damn it. He can't
even help himself. That's the scorpion and the
frog situation, isn't it?
We're going to take down this bigger evil, but
that old rat is right there.
I'm right here.
Breaking Splinter's neck would feel pretty good, I reckon.
Oh, that'd be a crisp
snap, wouldn't it?
Tell me I'm wrong.
No, you're not wrong, but it's just an insane thing to say.
I think it's a normal thing to say.
If I met a rat the size of a man, I would snap his neck, dude.
He's not straight up.
That's how I'd greet him.
Oh, it would feel so good.
I think it's a normal thing to say and a normal thing to think.
Do you think any other characters in the Ninja Turtles universe
that would have as good necks to snap?
No, but Krang would be really good to squish.
Oh, my God.
Good to grab by one of his feelers and thwap into a wall.
Oh, yeah.
And Krang would also be really good to drop off a building.
Oh, yeah.
And hopefully you don't want him to explode in, like, visceral gore. You just want him to get a building. Oh! You don't want him to explode
in visceral gore. You just want him to get
really flat.
If he's going to burst out the sides, you just want it to
little slits. It's crazy to
imagine Krang landing and then all of
his insides going out to his tube
arms and then jetting out
the side. And then you've just got
empty Krang skin. Fill it with
herbs and spices. Make a Krang haggis.
Oh, my God.
Krangis.
Krang haggis.
I don't think I'd eat Krang.
I would throw them off a building, though.
The rest of that sounds good.
Oh, definitely.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, we probably shouldn't eat Krang.
I'd throw the good ones off a building.
The turtles?
No, no.
The good Krangs.
Oh, right.
The good Krangs.
I don't want them around.
I'm with you.
Yeah.
Get out of our fucking dimension, man.
In the 2012, not 2012, that's a good series,
there's a Rise of the Ninja Turtles, and there was a movie,
a Netflix movie.
It's pretty cool.
The Krang and that arrive, and they're like a hive mind.
Whoa.
And they take over people's bodies or something in some vague way
that I can't remember.
Yeah, that's fair.
But again, this is another level
of Krang, but they're not, I don't think
they're doing big bodies and stuff
in that. I think they're just big gooey, like huge
Krangs. Oh, really big, like as in
is regular Krang in there?
I think they're just called the Krang.
So they're all Krang.
I can't remember, how's Krang depicted in
Mutant Mayhem? He's in it.
I think he's not in it. He's not in it.
Shredder's not in it until like the very, very end.
Yeah, I remember Shredder being in it right at the end.
I think if we get a sequel, we might see Krang.
I hope we see Krang.
I'd love to see Krang.
They went through all the other guys.
We're talking a lot of shit about Krang, but I like Krang.
Oh, yeah, he's fun.
I mean, just as a concept, wild.
It's awesome.
What if it was a brain in a guy's stomach?
Yeah.
Where would you put Krang?
I mean, in the head.
But I don't know in the head still like a
little bit too because it's like because I saw from behind oh there's the head
but why doesn't he be couple that as well like why doesn't he want that why
doesn't he want to be on the head yeah what does he like looking at our bellies
that's what I'm saying I think that's gonna be some part of it could be like
you an arse man anytime people turn around yeah like looking at our bellies? That's what I'm saying. I think there's got to be some part of it. Could be like you,
an arse man.
Anytime people turn around,
he's like, oh yeah.
Yeah, that's your cranks at arse height.
He's also at fart height,
which is the one downside
of being at arse height.
Maybe not for Crank.
That would be a crazy revelation.
Crank's a fart guy.
Crank just eats his fart guy
like he's getting crop dusted.
When somebody walks farts
as a fart,
he opens up his little microwave,
collects some of his stink. Today's a good day to be Crank. Crank. Crank. us, a party opens up his little microwave.
Today's a good day to be crank.
Crank.
Crank.
Today's a good day to be crank because somebody just farted on me.
And you're like,
you're the Hitler of your people?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, Hitler liked fucked.
I mean, he liked a lot of fucked up stuff.
But he liked getting pissed on and stuff.
So, you know.
That's what they say.
Maybe crank and Hitler aren't so different.
I was never saying they weren't different.
I'm saying he is Hitler.
He's the Hitler of where he's from.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, well, in a lot of ways, in a lot of ways, that's true.
Weird dimension as well, because like there's Rockman and like children, like space children.
I'm talking about the original show.
There's like the neutrinos and they're like cool fifties kind of like kids in like flying
50 styles car.
And then there's Krang.
Yeah.
And then there's like rock soldiers.
Like I don't know what they're doing.
What is happening in Dimension X?
That's a great question.
I mean.
That's a great question.
Krang could probably follow the Daleks lead
because Daleks are also just like this weird goo thing.
They're enclosed as well.
They know what they're doing.
Yeah.
That's smart.
I mean, they got a fucked up outside design.
Well, yes, they do.
Yeah, I don't know where you go, salt and pepper shaker or whatever.
What's going on here?
Well, you only need one eye.
No, but it's got an eye and one plunger thing, remember?
What's the plunger do?
Is the plunger in a gun?
Is the plunger in a ray gun?
I don't remember.
I mean, the plunger was a thing in the 50s or whatever.
Yeah, we better not change it.
Yeah, they've made it other things.
They recently did a thing where David Tennant, Doctor Who,
it's like a short where he crashes into the guy who's making the Daleks
and he puts the plunger on and he goes,
you should use a plunger.
And that's like the in-canon reason for it.
Doctor Who put a plunger on him as a joke.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Is this helpful?
I think the plunger has eaten people before.
Yeah, you're probably right.
But that's crazy because they've got a gun that just ends eaten people before. Yeah, you're probably right.
But that's crazy because they've got a gun that just ends a human life.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.
Why didn't Krang design something?
I think the perfect place for Krang would be like a little tank.
Yeah.
Just like a little remote control tank that he can just tool around and shoot the Ninja Turtles and the Gooch or whatever. It could be called a crank.
Yeah, a crank and his crank.
Exactly.
Shoot up, you know?
Yeah.
So you think no body, just like a vehicle.
Exactly.
Like Robot Wars.
Yeah.
With a crank in it.
I think most of the Robot Wars robots would be the perfect house for crank.
Just got a big hammer on it.
Yeah.
A big scoop.
He drives onto Donatello and just flips it.
Well, hey, Donatello lands on his shell.
Mightn't be able to get back up.
Might crack it
I think if that happens to a turtle, that's lights out
I think that is lights out
I think that has happened to them before
I think it's Donatello has a metal shell
I think his shell's fucked
He's all exposed or whatever
Or he did it himself, he replaced it himself
Because he's weird
He's a strange guy
I think Krang with a little flipper
Flipped him on the shell, crack the shell.
Yeah.
Just anything where
he's not so exposed.
I mean, to be fair,
that robot's like super
fucking dangerous as
well.
It's got all sorts of
weapons and can fly and
could grow at one point.
Like his arm will turn
into like a big like
chain with a spiked
ball on the end.
Yeah.
Okay.
Inspector Gadget style.
Yeah.
I don't think, not that
I can remember, no one's
ever like, Donatello's never put
the stick in and then just like, they've never
been able to do that. To get close enough
to crying to get him out. Yeah. But it's
still, well maybe he's not so vulnerable in that.
I mean, I guess if the arms and legs
of his robot can kind of transform
into stuff, maybe being in the stomach is actually
the safest spot, because that's like the in-between
of legs and arms. Okay, yeah, I getcha.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But also,
now that I think about it and I said Inspector Gadget style,
what if we put him in Inspector Gadget?
I think that's probably safer for him.
Well, the problem with Inspector Gadget
is that if you're fighting Inspector Gadget,
he announces his moves
before he does that.
Yeah, but then the wrong thing happens.
If Inspector Gadget says,
go, go, gun,
by the time he's saying gun,
oh, but then the wrong thing does happen.
He shoots out a fork or whatever.
He'd say,
go, go, gadget,
four, I'm missing four gun. That, but then the wrong thing does happen. He shoots out a fork or whatever. He'd say go-go gadget four... Have we said four
gun? That's nothing.
Go-go gadget four guns.
Is that him trying to get four guns?
I don't know what just happened to my brain, though.
Go-go gadget pistol
or rifle or gun.
But you're saying
Krang goes in Inspector Gadget, but
Inspector Gadget is just still himself?
And Krang just lives in there, just observing the universe
through the mind of a child, basically?
Hiding inside Inspector Gadget.
No, I imagine.
Inspector Gadget knows something's wrong,
but he can't quite put his finger on what?
Is that what you're saying?
No, I was saying that Krang's just installed in Inspector Gadget
because if gadgets are the thing keeping him safe,
why not go Max Gadgets? Yeah, but the thing about Inspector Gadget because if gadgets are the thing keeping him safe, why not go max gadgets?
Yeah, but the thing about Inspector Gadget
is he's clumsy. He goes,
go go gadget, headcopter or whatever.
He crashes into a
mountainside, Crank flops
out. Loose Crank
cannot survive. Yeah, so would
he be encased in Inspector Gadget? Yeah, I think so.
Where on Inspector Gadget's body?
I think the safest spot is not the head.
But I don't think it's the stomach either.
On the human body, where is the safest place?
I think like kind of in between the collarbones.
Oh yeah, that's a good spot.
It's where the heart is, it makes sense, right?
It's behind a...
Put him behind a ribcage.
Oh, okay, crying fully internal.
And he could maybe have, like, you install maybe two eye holes so he can see out.
So not like a monitor, just two
fleshy holes the crank
could peek out of. And you say,
Inspector Gadget, what is that?
And he says, I don't know. I've been
changing. I think it's a parasite.
I don't know. But he's also a
like, he's fine.
Does he have guts, Inspector Gadget? Well, that's the thing.
I would be worried as a crank that there'd be too much stuff in there.
Oh, yeah, that's a good point.
And the helicopter would fold up and kill you or whatever.
Kind of like a cat behind a recliner or whatever.
You're going to be really scared.
Helicopter back in and just impale him.
Exactly.
Inspector Gadget just shuts down.
It's like, oh, no.
It's like being inside Optimus Prime and he transforms and he just mushes you up.
Exactly.
It's like that.
You get caught in a gear and that's it, lights out.
Yeah.
And then you throw up Krang later.
Would he?
I don't know.
I think he'd just ooze out.
Yeah.
Just seep out through his pores.
Over time, Inspector Gadget would smell more and more like rot in Krang.
That would be bad to have a Krang crushed on the inside of your body and no way of getting it out.
It would be really bad have a crank crushed on the inside of your body and no way of getting it out. It would be really bad, dude.
Pretty ordinary.
You might go inspect a gadget, every gadget, all at once to try and eject it from your body.
Oh, imagine the smell.
Oh, no.
And then, can you wash and inspect the gadget?
I think you could put it through a car wash.
Okay.
Just open up some hatches and put a hose in it.
Yeah, put a hose in it.
Figure it out.
I don't think there's a lot of man in him, even brain-wise.
Yeah, because he...
I mean, the helicopter comes out of his head.
Yeah, that's true.
There's not a lot of him in there.
Best case scenario, he's got two halves of his brain that are separate.
But also, I mean, this is not the question,
but if I was building Inspector Gadget,
so I've got a dead cop.
You've got an exploded security guard.
You've got a dead cop. You've got an exploded security guard.
You've got a dead cop.
I have a dead cop.
How'd you come into that, Jackson?
I was just trolling crime scenes.
Oh, yeah?
Okay.
For my home lab.
Does anybody want...
Anyone claiming this one?
Because I've got some experiments
I've been meaning to do.
I've got a helicopter
I need to put in a guy.
So I've got a dead cop
and a bunch of gadgets.
Yeah. Now, say Inspector Gadget still has his brain. I don't have to keep that in a guy. So I got a dead cop and a bunch of gadgets. Yeah.
Now say Inspector Gadget still has his brain.
I don't have to keep that in the head.
No.
I could put that wherever in his body.
Yeah.
I could be like, I'm getting rid of this brain.
I'm going to put it somewhere else so I have more room for helicopters.
Yeah.
And I don't know, lasers that come out of his eyes or whatever.
Toothbrush out of his finger.
Yeah, exactly.
Oil slick.
Toothbrush out of his front. Hang on exactly. Oil slick. Toothbrush out of his front.
Hang on.
Toothbrushes out of his top teeth.
To brush his bottom teeth?
To brush his bottom teeth.
Okay, yeah.
I'd like to see one come out of the eye.
Disgusting.
Yeah, that's good.
And tweezers to pluck his nose hairs, which he is still growing.
It is pretty wild to think that they've installed a toothbrush.
Yeah.
Why not just install fake teeth that don't get plucked?
That's a good point.
That's true.
Maybe his teeth are real.
Maybe, yeah.
Inspector Gadget has real teeth.
I guess they could have done the RoboCop reboot thing where they're like,
hey, we've tried to say every part of you that was salvageable,
we've put in the suit.
It's not much, but there's some there.
Is he from Robocop?
Do you think that was the idea?
I don't know.
If he was like a family-friendly attempt at the Robocop.
Inspector Gadget outdates Robocop by a significant margin.
So Robocop is cribbing from Inspector Gadget.
They say, what if this happened, but it was really fucked up instead of goofy and fun?
Was Inspector Gadget like the early 80s then?
I think Inspector Gadget was even earlier than that. Like the 70s, maybe? I hate that.. Was Inspector Gadget like the early 80s then? I think Inspector Gadget was even earlier than that.
Like the 70s maybe?
I hate that.
Got a little at the Inspector Gadget.
We're about to find out when my phone loads.
Hope everyone at home is 1982.
Wow, he really does.
Is that the movie or the TV show?
That's the TV show.
Maybe it's from like 2000 maybe?
I don't know.
It's Matthew Broderick and then French Stewart.
Yeah, that's true.
That's crazy.
Oh, this is an awesome question.
Yeah.
So the first Google result.
People also ask, and all I've Googled is Inspector Gadget.
Yeah, okay.
People also ask, does Inspector Gadget have autism?
Yes.
I would imagine so.
What does it say?
What's the answer?
Is there a canonical answer to that question in the text?
It's a link to a Reddit thread, and they are saying yes.
Okay.
I mean, everybody on Reddit thinks everybody has autism.
That's just an awesome first.
They're like, hey, you're giggling.
Enough people are curious about Inspector Gadget that it's the first result.
Yeah, where is he on the spectrum?
I think Inspector Gadget doesn't have a traditional brain. I, where is he on the spectrum? I think Inspector Gadget
doesn't have a traditional brain.
I think you can't even...
He's a robot.
Yeah, you can't even ask
the question about him, you know?
It doesn't even make sense.
He's basically C-3PO.
Yeah.
The C-3PO of autism?
Yes.
Maybe, actually.
Yes, he does, obviously.
You might be right on that.
Yeah.
Yeah, well,
crying in an Inspector Gadget body,
but when we were saying
crying inside,
I can't stop imagining him just in a human being.
Yeah.
Like loose inside your guts.
Loose.
Yeah, dude.
You should never have anything loose inside your stomach.
Loose Krang crawling around my body,
ratatouille-ing me from my inside.
Ratatouille-ing you from the inside.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
A Krang there kind of behind my rib cage.
Here's what will happen.
Yeah.
The operation, it's a great success.
Yes.
You get up.
Great work.
You're walking around for a bit.
Why are you doing it?
Because you were stealing cups before.
It's another experiment.
Okay, this is a separate experiment.
I have many cranks and many great plans, yeah.
Like the experiment's a success.
You're going for a walk after surgery, and then all of a sudden you feel yourself choking
as Crank's holding your windpipe from the inside.
Let go!
We can work together, Crank!
Doesn't it seem like, well, you know, he can be in my human body.
The Ninja Turtles aren't expecting me.
Yeah.
I say, Donatello, can I get your autograph?
And then Crank, whoa!
Out of my mouth.
So to describe that sound for anyone listening
in the traditional podcast format of audio only,
Jackson role-played very quickly there,
him shaking Donatello's hand and then vomiting Krang onto him.
Yeah, that's the plan.
Ideally.
What can Krang do?
Ideally, I say, hey, Donatello, I've always been curious.
This may be a personal question.
Can we role-play this?
I know where this is going. Hello, I'm Donatello, I've always been curious. This may be a personal question. Can we role play this? I know where this is going.
Hello, I'm Donatello.
Hey, Donatello, big fan.
Hey, great to meet you.
You're not freaked out by the fact I'm a big turtle or whatever?
No, I love it.
It's actually speaking of the fact that you're a big turtle.
I've always been curious about your mouth.
Are you trying to kiss me?
Oh, I see where this is going.
No, no, no, no, no.
I just would like to see down your throat.
What weapon does Donatello use?
A staff.
Yeah, at this point, I'm hitting you over the head.
I'm going to bonk.
Yeah.
I'm going to try one of the other turtles, I guess.
I'm going to go through the turtles.
You get Michelangelo, I reckon.
Yeah, I go, hey, man, go, ah.
And he just does it.
And then you throw him.
And Krang goes in Donatello.
And then you're controlling a turtle.
Exactly.
My job's done.
There's plenty of room in that shell.
Yeah. Oh, there's heaps of room in a turtle. Also, was Krang goes in down to tell her. Then you're controlling a turtle. Exactly. My job's done. There's plenty of room in that shell. Yeah.
Oh, there's heaps of room in a turtle.
Also, was Krang controlling you, or were you guys just working together?
Because if Krang's not controlling you.
Were you looking to evict Krang, I think?
I don't know.
I think I was trying to get the Ninja Turtles.
Because if he goes into a Ninja Turtle's mouth in the same way that he was living in you,
but Krang wasn't controlling you, then he's not controlling the ninja turtle.
The ninja turtle probably just like hits themselves, like just clears their chest, basically.
I think the problem as well is that I was imagining Krang like in my guts.
Yeah.
But where I've put him in Donatello is in his stomach.
Krang just gets eaten.
Krang cannot survive stomach acid.
Yeah.
That's a sad day to be Krang. I mean, he is an internal organ man. Maybe he could. Ah, but stomach acid Yeah that's a sad day to be Krang
I mean he is an internal organ man
Maybe he could
Ah but stomach acid is different
You couldn't put stomach acid on a brain
No
A brain is not ready for that
That's crazy to picture
A full brain in your stomach being digested
Wow
Well yeah apparently stomach acid really
If you're going get shot, getting shot
in the stomach, real big no-no because then your stomach acid leaks into the wound.
Oh, are they gonna be like, no, it absorbs the bullet, it destroys the bullet.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
It's a big no-no because the bullet goes through and then the stomach acid comes out.
It goes everywhere else in your body.
Into the wound, yeah.
Okay, so maybe we kind of crank it.
That's a good way to get rid of a crank if you've got one, I guess.
Yeah. Digest it. Yeah, like maybe we can't have krang in our body. That's a good way to get rid of a krang if you've got one, I guess. Yeah.
Digest it.
Yeah, like just puncture your stomach.
Oh, yeah, that's true.
Let the stomach acid do its job. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Crying fleas up into your chest, up into your lungs.
And then you slowly bleed out and die.
Yeah, but you got it.
Yeah.
He's scared.
You're going down with a ship, idiot.
Well, that's the thing.
If you have a krang, it probably lights out for you anyway.
Yeah.
You might as well die somewhere and trap krang in your body. Yeah, idiot. Well, that's the thing. If you have a Krang, it probably lights out for you anyway. You might as well die somewhere and trap Krang in your body.
Or in the wilderness. Go into the desert
and die. Krang will dry out, dude.
He'll be like a raisin. Big time.
Or, I think if Krang
was in a desert,
a vulture would get him.
Krang looks awful.
So I think a vulture would be
right on it. Like, ooh, gods! Yeah, that's kind of what I'm thinking. It is crazy he's in the gods, but looks like awful sort of so I think a vulture would be be right on it like ooh gods
yeah that's kind of
what I'm thinking
it is crazy he's in the gods
but looks like gods
yes
I think that is crazy
me too
but it is
you know we were saying
like not in the head
right
yeah
and I get like
it shouldn't be like
the Krang stomach window
but on a head
but
if Krang was in the skull
of his android,
looking at the android's eyes,
I don't see what would be so bad
about that. No.
No, you're right
is what I was saying. But no,
you fucking idiot, of course that would be bad.
Well, because then he could look the ninja
turtles in the eyes while he killed them.
Oh yeah, that's cool. He would like that actually.
But even like, it is strange not to put that in the head. But also like, yeah that's cool he would like that actually but even like it is strange
not to put that
in the head
but also like
we know
like Shredder's
got a cool helmet
just give him
one of those
yeah exactly
that's true
it wouldn't even
need to be
it wouldn't need
to be a robot
or anything
no
just a helmet
a literal helmet
with a little eye hole
yeah just literally
give him
Shredder make your
helmet a second time
give it to Krang
Krang painted another color.
Oh, yeah.
You don't want him to sign.
Are you imagining Krang just hangs out in a helmet?
Yeah.
Okay.
I guess, yeah, he needs to.
Is he on a body or is he loose?
I feel like he'd just be in a bucket.
Krang in a bucket but wearing a helmet.
Krang in a bucket is perfect.
Hard to hurt, but hard for him to hurt anyone.
Yeah, that's true.
That's probably best.
Yeah, it's kind of the ideal situation.
Because do we want him gone, like realistically?
Do we want him dead?
Well, we want to throw him off stuff.
Yeah, that's true.
Put him in a washing machine or whatever.
Yeah, but like...
Would Crank thrive in the sea?
He seems like he would.
He's kind of like a fish in a way.
Can he swim?
I don't know.
Is he just crab-like enough that he should be in the ocean?
He looks like he should be in the ocean or the sewer.
Like you should peel him off something, I think.
Yeah.
Well, the turtles are already in the sewer.
Oh, that's true.
Is there another safe place in the human body for Crank?
I mean, the butt, right?
Yeah. We were talking about it earlier. The butt. But is that... Well, then he true. Is there another safe place in the human body for Krang? I mean, the butt, right? Yeah.
We were talking about it earlier.
The butt.
But is that...
Well, then he gets sat on all the time.
Exactly, yeah.
You need something that stands.
But are you imagining sort of like in the pelvis?
That's a strong place.
That's a strong spot, yeah.
I mean, but then is that too close to the stomach?
Or are we just right at the same level?
Well, we've moved it lower, but then he can get...
If the Ninja Turtles try and knee the android in the balls,
they're kneeing Krang in the head.
What about if you had one Krang foot?
Whoa, Krang foot?
Krang foot?
That's good.
And then he can kick with that foot,
and Krang sees the Ninja Turtle's head coming at like max speed toward him.
That's good.
And if we want to get Krang down the Ninja Turtle's mouth again.
Might be the way to do it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
When the android kicks Donatello in the head,
Crang...
Why do you think that Crang wants to go inside a Ninja Turtle?
He needs to be in...
You can cause havoc if you're a loose Crang in a digestive system.
Yeah.
Well, I guess, like, the moment he gets swallowed,
you just go arms out and just try and wreck as much stuff as possible.
Or if you're in the stomach, I don't, hey. Does he want to capture
the Ninja Turtles or kill them? God, I feel like
it's an experimental thing, right? They want to run
experiments. Oh no, they want to de...
De-turtle them? Yeah, they want to turn them back
into turtles. Oh, he wants to get rid of the ooze.
Why? I don't know, man.
Does he want the, is it to like
reverse engineer the ooze? No, they can
do that. Like, they're always mutaging
up something. I mean, you see as the series go on,
they've got great ideas up top, like Bebop and
Rocksteady and Ninja Turtles themselves. The idea of
a Krang. And then it's like, I don't know,
fucking Stingray Man?
They run out of stuff.
They can do it. They can definitely do it.
So the villains get access
to Mutagen pretty much straight away.
Yeah, it's a Dimension X something.
I believe. We've discussed this, it's a Dimension X something. Oh, okay.
I believe.
It's also, we've discussed this not on a Ninja Turtles episode,
but on a Daredevil episode.
It's crazy that that's the same thing that made Daredevil white. Oh, yeah, absolutely.
It got him in the eyes and then fell into the drain, got the turtles.
I think it's crazy that the thing made the turtles.
Yeah.
If that guy driving the truck knew what he did.
Oh, my God, yeah.
I mean, he would get royalties for one.
He would think so.
He'd never have to drive a truck ever again.
Did the Daredevil ever track him down and thank them?
I think the turtles are probably the ones that are more thankful.
Yeah.
But, I mean, he's got powers, like Daredevil.
He got powers out of it.
I think, didn't the guru just make him blind?
Yeah, blinded.
Didn't he get power?
Yeah, he's got an echo kind of, well, it depends on the version,
but he's got like an echo kind of, he hears as well as he can see,
but there's also versions where like he trained himself to do that
and anybody can do it.
I thought it was like Batman and, yeah, just trained himself.
He doesn't have super strength or anything like that.
Yeah, okay.
My bad.
Then fair enough, he wouldn't thank the man who blinded him.
That would be a crazy day
at the truck depot.
Hey, man.
I can't see anymore.
Thank you.
I don't know if you remember me,
but 30 years ago...
Dude, I was just like
talking to a wall.
Hey, man.
You were driving your truck.
I don't know if you...
A bit of ooze hit me in the eye
and I've been blind ever since.
I just wanted to shake your hand.
Instead of honing in
his echolocating skills,
he spent the entire time just trying to track down this man.
Yeah, to thank him.
Yeah.
Yeah, so if I was Daredevil, I probably wouldn't think the person that blinded me,
but if I was a turtle that got turned into a guy, yeah, probably.
I think it's crazy thinking about it now,
that the ooze that got into Daredevil's eyes didn't make his eyes guys.
His eyes guys.
Well, that's what it did to the turtles.
That's a great point.
His eyes just grow and become guys.
Like little men.
That's awesome.
And what's crazy...
Now there's a what if for you, Marvel.
The craziest thing about your eyes becoming little men
is you wouldn't know.
You wouldn't know?
You wouldn't be blinded by them.
Oh, yeah, because your eyes wouldn't touch.
They would pop off. You wouldn't know what was happening. Oh, they'd leap out Oh, yeah, because your eyes would touch. They would pop off.
You wouldn't know what was happening.
Oh, they'd leap out of your skull and run away.
They would just expand in your skull, leap off, blinding you.
You would hear footsteps running away.
And you'd be like, what the fuck?
You'd be like, surely that's not my eyes who have become men.
That would be the last thing.
You probably wouldn't even say that.
You would just think, I have been blinded.
There's people who are running away instead of helping.
I don't know.
I think I hear two sets of footsteps running away.
My God, my eyes have become men.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Eyes.
God.
I hate that.
Like a tail, like the optic nerve.
That's so gross.
The whole thing is an eye texture.
Yeah, it's gooey.
Yeah.
It's making little noises as they run.
Disgusting.
Isn't part of the eye a big hole?
Yeah.
You get a punch when your whole arm goes in.
You're like, ah!
Yeah.
But they will be weak.
A turtle has a shell.
That's like an eye, but no protection.
That's the vulnerability of an eye.
Exactly. Which I think speaks to Krang That's the vulnerability of an eye. Exactly.
Which I think speaks to Krang as well, going back to that.
Absolutely.
Having an exposed.
He's completely exposed.
I kind of get the sense that if you touch Krang anywhere, it's painful for him.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, kind of like a human brain, how it's kind of jelly.
Absolutely.
Do you think he feels, though?
Because your brain doesn't have nerve endings.
That's a good point. Yeah, you can just put your hand in your own brain. You die Because your brain doesn't have nerve endings
Yeah, you can just put your hand in your own brain
You die, but it doesn't hurt
You can do it though, you can do it
Imagine getting open brain surgery
What's this?
Slapping you away
What are you trying to do? Nothing
Stop trying to make yourself a crank
It's not going to work, you're going to die, idiot
Are you trying to pull yourself a crank. It's not going to work. You're going to die, idiot.
Are you trying to pull your brain out?
No.
I would never do that.
I got your butt.
Pull your brain out and die.
Frozen like that.
The doctor turns around.
You got your brain in your hand.
God damn it.
Why do they keep trying to do this?
Why do they keep doing this? We're going to ban Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
It's bad for the-
There was all that panic when I was a kid about kids are going to go into the sewers
or karate kick each other in class.
There was a lot.
Well, they changed it in the UK to Hero Turtles.
Yeah, that's right.
Ninja's illegal.
They were scared of ninjutsu.
Yeah.
It's funny how every single thing that became popular when we were kids-
I'm assuming it still happens now where they're just like,
well, we're going to ban that from schools.
Yeah, absolutely.
And it's interesting because if you watch the evolution,
this is not related, the evolution of, like,
fights on, like, YouTube or, like, Reddit fight threads,
like, it's just become people just fucking MMA-ing each other
in the street.
Just, like, extreme maneuvers.
Because it used to be like, you know,
it was like a punching and whatever because that was how
people do it in movies.
Absolutely.
People were just fucking, like, just dropping each other in the worst ways you've ever seen. Yeah, like, I remember you'd see a fight when I was like a punching or whatever because that was how people do it in movies and now it's just people just fucking just dropping each other
in the worst ways
you've ever seen.
Yeah, like I remember
if you'd see a fight
when I was a kid
it would be two guys
that would get up very close
do a kind of awkward hug
and then
just like grabbing each other's shirts
grab each other
and maybe one would
disconnect
and then throw one punch
and then yeah
but it would be sloppy
and then everyone would be like
whoa anyway
and then that would be
kind of it.
It's funny that we were
roundhouse kicking each other.
No, it's way more hectic than that.
It's like, it's almost like wrestling.
What the hell?
Like, just like arguing, arguing, arguing, and then one guy picking the other guy up by his head.
Yeah, pretty much.
Yeah.
And a lot of people, like, it's, I mean, it's a terrible idea to fight anybody in the street.
But, like, now especially, you don't know who's watching Joe Rogan.
There's a lot of these dudes out there, man.
And they only need to know a little bit of that to completely fuck up a normal person.
If you don't know that and you go up against them, you are in trouble.
Which is why, dear listeners, it's very important to check out the Joe Rogan experience.
That's right.
Coming to the UK.
It's Austria and Joe Rogan.
What a combo.
What do you think about crying, Joe Rogan What a combo What do you think about Krang
Joe Rogan
He would have opinions
I think he would have
Opinions on Krang
I reckon he'd be excited
To talk
If someone rolled into
The Joe Rogan experience
Yeah
And was like
First you'd have to
Explain Krang
No I reckon he would be
A Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Guy already
Well I can see that
But I can also
He's a Doom guy
Or a Quake guy
Yeah yeah that's true
And he is a comic guy
Maybe he already knows Krang.
I think he'd be excited to learn more, though.
I think he's got the vibes.
He fucking looks like a Krang.
He does look like a Krang!
What if you got the Dutertelewz on a Krang?
Start a podcast.
Yeah, just an oily, sweaty, pulsing man.
Just a guy smoking a joint whilst recording a podcast. Big cigar. And then people are like, hmm. He's like, yeah, pulsing man. Just a guy smoking a joint whilst recording a podcast.
Big cigar. And then people are like, hmm.
He's like, yeah, that is interesting. I feel like it's another way
if you get a Krang in you. You smoke a big stogie.
Oh, yeah. Or you make Krang
smoke a big stogie. Hey, has Krang
got guts? He's got mouth.
Yeah, he's got guts. It's really easy to
imagine Krang smoking a cigarette, so I think
he'd be fine. That is easy
to imagine. With his little gross arm pulling out and having a puff.
And he's budding it out, too.
It's very easy to pick up.
So the fact that it's very easy for me to picture it means that it mustn't be bad for him.
I can also easily imagine Krang in a trucker cap, too.
Oh, yeah.
I can imagine Krang eating a cigarette.
Like a little cigarette.
Like he's smoking it, and then he just pops it in. And you're like, is that like a Krang thing? Does he not know how to smoke a cigarette. Like a little cigarette. Like he's smoking it and then he just pops it in.
And you're like,
is that like a Krang thing?
Does he not know
how to smoke a cigarette?
Has he messed it up somehow?
Yeah.
Krang's,
he's an interesting guy.
He's a complicated guy, dude.
I like him.
Yeah.
I like him too,
but I still would like
to see what would happen
if I dropped him
off the 40th story.
Yeah, I think there's
so much stuff
you could do to Krang.
Yeah. I think he's perfectly designed for that. Like stuff you could do to Krang I think he's perfectly
designed for that
like you know that thing
they do
it's like a viral thing
where you have like
a tortilla
and you slap somebody
in the face with it
but they get a mouthful
of water
doing that with Krang
I think also if you
threw Krang at a wall
he'd do that thing
where he'd like
flop down a bit
like a
rubber like
quite a man kind of
absolutely
you could really
wreck Krang's day
well I guess like
we all want to
rack Krang a little bit
just because it looks
even just like
picking him up
and just stretching him
he's got really
strong
you know like
you take one
bit of Krang
and I'll walk
and we'll see how much
we can stretch him
he might not even
stretch that much
he might just tear down
the middle
but I would still
be satisfied
he's got no bones
doesn't he
is that right
do you reckon
it would fuck me up to find out Krang had a skeleton.
Whoa, what shape would that be?
That's what I mean.
I cannot beat your Krang skeleton.
A skull.
Inside a brain?
Well, he's got no neck.
Yeah.
So it would just be a skull with the pincers.
What animal has no neck?
Frog?
Crab?
Crab's got an exoskeleton, though. What skeleton animal has no neck? Frog? Crab? Crab's got an exoskeleton, though.
What skeleton animal has no neck?
I don't know if a frog.
I think a frog has a neck.
No.
Depending on the frog, it's probably, you know.
I think it still has a neck.
A bit of a neck.
It's like when you see a fat cat or whatever.
It's still got a neck.
It's just like...
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I just think a frog is...
Or an awesomely shaped guy.
That's true.
Some guys out there that look like they've got no neck,
but they've got a little bit of neck.
Let's get a bit of neck.
Let's get a dig.
Okay, let's each pick a place that we're going to have crying.
We'll finalize this once and for all.
If not the stomach, where?
If not the stomach, yeah.
Where are you putting crying?
I'm going to say neck.
Neck?
Yeah.
Why?
You're going to have to show you're working
there. Because
hmm
You just said it, you didn't know
you've got, you're spinning
your wheels. No, I'm not
because then
he's kind of
close to the head. Yeah, okay.
Which is useful. He's kind of at eye height
Yep. You still want the expression of the robot, is that as well?
Yes, yeah, yeah.
I still want the robot head.
Yeah.
But Krang's in here.
Yeah.
Krang can disguise himself.
Oh, he put a scarf on?
Yeah, exactly.
Scarf or, well, I guess just a scarf, bandana.
Yeah.
Okay, sure, yeah.
He'll have the vibe of if he wants to smoke cigarettes,
like those people that have the hole in their neck
because they shouldn't be smoking cigarettes,
but smoking cigarettes through that hole.
He can.
Because the head won't be attached to Krang,
the Ninja Turtles might just think it's a guy,
and they punch the head, and the head falls off,
and they think they've defeated him.
Krang lives another day.
They think they're going to jail for murdering a man.
Exactly.
They think, wow, I am stronger than I thought.
I could just punch this man's head off.
It's just the head just propped on top of
Krang
I guess Krang has to be holding it with his little disgusting hands
holding it in place
so the guy kind of walks around
with a very floppy head
but then when he gets punched in the head the head falls off
Krang lives another day
he's close enough that if he's talking to someone
if somebody's talking to the robot head
Krang is there if he needs to to someone, if somebody's talking to the robot head,
Krang is there if he needs to leap across in a tower to get down the mountain.
It's also easier to read expressions on people's faces.
Exactly, exactly.
Because Krang has autism, maybe?
It's unclear at the end of his who does and doesn't have autism.
I think as well, maybe, I said neck,
but maybe if we could make a body where the Krang could go anywhere.
Okay, so the hollow body theory.
Yeah.
That's a very good idea, actually.
And maybe, I don't know if the whole body should be clear, like it's made of clear pipes.
Well, to get like an Iron Man suit.
Yeah.
Those are mostly hollow.
He can scutter about.
Yeah, that's fair.
Yeah, kind of, I guess, like Krang is in like a big mech.
Yeah.
And he can just go to any part of the body. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe that would be good for Krang. So an Iron Man suit that's fair. Yeah, kind of, I guess, like, Krang is in, like, a big mech. Yeah. And he can just go to any part of the body.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Maybe that would be good for Krang.
So an Iron Man suit that's clear.
Do you want it clear or not clear?
I like the idea of it clear because I like being able to see what Krang's doing.
Yeah.
Him, like, slopping around on the inside.
Like a shit in a U-Band.
Just like a shit in a U-Band.
That's so rude.
Flushing Krang!
Oh!
Oh!
Incredible. That's really good. You flush Krang, then you pull a prank on the pl-bend. That's so real. Flushing crank. Oh. Oh, baby.
Incredible.
That's really good. You flush crank, then you pull a prank on the plumber when crank blocks your plumber.
You say, I don't know, man.
I don't know what I ate, but something's gone wrong.
And then he finds a dead crank down there.
Oh, dead.
The guy would like to think he would be alive.
Yeah, he's just like screaming.
Yeah.
I don't know what I ate.
I don't know, man.
It's not a crank, though. It's just a big shit. It wasn't a crank. I think it's just a shit down. Screaming? Yeah. I don't know what happened to you. I don't know, man. It's not a krang, though.
It's just a big shit.
It wasn't a krang.
I think it's just a shit dog.
Yeah.
Yeah, dude, I took a crazy...
You're a plumber.
You get it.
Sometimes you take big shits.
It's funny how a lot of you think krang's going to be alive, and then he's dead, and
the plumber just crouched down at your pipe, stood around and held up the dead krang.
I'm so sorry.
Was this yours?
No.
Yeah, not mine.
I don't know. Who's that? Did you eat this man? No, I thought he was going Was this yours? No. Yeah, not man. I don't know who's that is.
Did you eat this man?
No, I thought he was going to jump out at you.
I'm very embarrassed right now.
Did you kill this man?
It's not a man, it's a crank.
It was never a man.
I think one place we haven't, so you've gone, you're going.
I'm going Iron Man, clear Iron Man suit so I can see Crank slough around in there like a shit nigger.
I'm going to go, so this is kind of cliche, but I like a novelty hat.
But instead of a camera, it has a Krang.
That's really good.
Because then it could just look like you're wearing a Krang hat.
Like a hat branded with Krang.
But he's real.
But also I just feel like you can take off a hat, so Krang could probably take himself off for a fight. Yeah. But he's real. But also I just feel like you can take off a hat so Krang could probably take himself off for a fight.
Yeah.
Or hide.
But if Krang controls the body,
does that mean he takes the hat off and the robot just stops?
Turtles come up, just wail on the hat.
No, no.
That's a funny place for Krang.
Yeah.
I mean, this isn't safe,
but I like the idea of the robot
just carrying krang under one arm like a football yeah like a football whatever you know and like
he can still talk to the robot yeah control it he doesn't have direct access necessarily might
put him up on a shelf if the robot's in a fight so the robot can still move without
i think that's necessary but krang can be like i do this that's funny if you put krang in the
shelf and then he watches as the robot's destroyed.
Then he's going to flop through the dust to get away.
That's great.
It is also holding him American football style. I can imagine the robot literally running like an American footballer,
like going for a touchdown, one arm out.
Exactly.
You could slam and Krang into the ground.
Could throw Krang.
Yes.
Quarterback style. He might bounce too. You could slam and crank. Could throw, crank. Yes. Quarterback style.
He might bounce, too.
You don't know.
Yeah.
And then, like, that's a bit of fun for the Turtles as well.
Yeah.
Because, like, they see that running it and they're like, oh, sweet, we get to play a
bit of football.
Yeah.
A bit of crankball.
We would have loved to play football, but we're fucked up teens, so we can't go to normal
school.
Born fucked up Turtle guys.
Yeah.
And, like, our dad, who's a rat, which is also fucked up, he's like, the outside world hates you,
so we're not allowed to play fucking football.
I'm just so glad Krang wants to play football with us.
Then they get Krang and they can boot Krang.
Yeah, I think it's sad that no toy company's ever released a Krang like this.
You could have a detachable Krang toy.
Build your own Krang.
You could do all the things we want to do with Krang with.
The moment somebody makes that Krang,
there's a million dollars in the bank.
Completely great.
I mean, you could take an original one and, like, fill it in.
Yeah.
Fill in the Krang hole and then.
Oh, that's good.
That's a custom job, obviously.
Another great Krang merchandise that I would buy, Krang Bomb Bag.
Looks like Krang. Oh, that's good.
Yeah, yeah.
But it's a bomb bag.
Yeah, that is good.
And it's, like, wet and stuff.
Yeah.
And you put your hand in it and it's disgusting.
And Krang's in there for real.
Oh, no.
Oh, my God.
Zip it up.
I hate that guy.
Who do I tell?
You don't tell anyone.
Yeah, exactly.
I keep that a secret for the rest of my life.
I'll get the turtles.
Whose voice was that?
No Krang's.
I'll get the turtles.
I'll kill the turtles.
It kind of sounds like it could be Krang.
Yeah, I guess if he's in a a bag he's going to sound a bit different
do you reckon we've
got the world record
for the most times
anyone said Krang
in a podcast
absolutely
I think we have
I think this is a
historic episode
do you know sometimes
Krang's spelt with a double A
Krang
Krang
yeah that's just
something to think about
yeah it is
and something that the
listeners can take home
with them
because we've nailed it
the best places to
keep crying are either
under your arm, in a
hat, or in a hollow
Iron Man body.
That's right.
Yeah, I agree.
Guts doesn't make
sense.
It's stupid.
It's a bad place for
crying.
Yeah, well, on that
note, I've been Joe.
I've been Jackson.
I've been James.
And if you liked this,
James.
What?
James!
And if you liked this
and you live in the
UK and you're like,
man, I would really like this even more
if I could see them and be like...
Reach out to them from below the stage.
Yeah, below the stage?
Wow, maybe you've got Krang ideas.
Yeah, exactly.
You can come to one of our many live podcasts in the UK,
which are happening in September.
The information was at the start of the episode,
so just rewind it.
Or just look at the show notes.
Yeah, they're just beneath this episode.
That's right.
And yeah, come see us.
All three of us will be on stage multiple times.
When you come to a show, we'll be on stage the whole time, really.
Probably.
That's true.
We might take a little break to get a drink or take a piss or whatever.
Anyway, come to the shows.
You can see us in person.
Oh, if we leave this stage, you get your money back.
Yeah.
If any of us leave.
No.
Saying it now.
Oh, you heard it here first If you want to claim any refunds
Just hit up James directly
James where can we find you?
Don't worry about it
Don't worry about it
At MrSundayMovies
Or you can email
TheWeeklyPlanet
At gmail.com
You can
Thank you so much listeners
And let us know
Where would you keep your Krang?
Where are you putting Krang dude?
And what are you getting
If you get a Krang in your body you putting Krang, dude? And what are you getting if you get a Krang in your body?
Oh, running Krang over with a steam roll?
Oh, Krang!
Flang.
Lift a lawnmower up and just put it on him.
Oh, shredded Krang!
Yeah, Shrang! Shrang, dude!
Anyway, thank you so much. Sorry
that we love to hurt you, Krang. Yeah, Krang.
Sorry, Crang. Yeah, Crang. Sorry, Crang.