Plumbing the Death Star - Why'd They Put Krang There? Is That Even a Good Spot for Him? with James aka Mr Sunday Movies

Episode Date: July 14, 2024

After last week Daddy had to go lay down, but never fear, our good friend James aka Mr Sunday Movies is here to fill in that Zammit-shaped hole to talk all things Krang! Well really one thing Krang: w...hy’d they put him there? He’s so exposed to one swift punch to the bread-basket! Krang can’t look anyone in the eyes and is the perfect height for crop dusting. Surely there’s a better place to put Krang in a robot body? Either way we can all agree that Krang looks so fun to punt, throw off a cliff or cook like a haggis. We don’t know much but we do know we want to wreck Krang’s day.You can find James on the Weekly Planet Podcast or on his YouTube channel Mr Sunday Movies.If you’re in the UK and want to see these three beautiful boys live and in the flesh, head on over to https://www.sanspantsradio.com/events/category/live-shows/ and grab your tickets today to see them in London, Edinburgh and/or Manchester. Birmingham show TBA! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Ahem, ahem. You're listening to the Sandspants Network. Hey everyone, and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star. I'm Joel. I'm Jackson. And today we're joined by a very special guest and very special friend, James, aka Mr. Sunday Movies. Wow, it's good to be a friend. It's good to be a friend.
Starting point is 00:00:20 And a guest. And a guest. Both is good. It's better to be a friend than a guest. I think so. We've had guests on that weren't friends. Yeah. I'll say it.
Starting point is 00:00:27 And friends that came on and then became guests by the time they left. Exactly. Exactly. Flaming the Death Star is a comedy pop culture podcast that asks the important questions. Like, why'd they put Krang there? Is that even a good spot for it? God, it's a good question though, isn't it? It's a great question. It's a real thing. But before we get to that. Before we get to that, the reason
Starting point is 00:01:02 that we're joined by our good friend and guest James is because all three of us are heading to the UK together. That's true. We're going to go and do a little freaking tour, dude. It'll be the Weekly Planet, which is James' podcast, live with Plumbing the Death Star, which is this podcast. You're watching right now and listening to. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:20 So it will be us two and James. Joel Zammett, unfortunately, will not make it. And Nick Mason, fortunately, won't be able to make it either. If this is the first time you're hearing about it, the dates are Friday the 13th, Plumbing the Death Star Live from the London Podcast Festival featuring James. Yeah, I'll be there. Thank God.
Starting point is 00:01:42 At time of recording, there's like 35 seats left. So hope you move quick. Get in quick. And then on Saturday the 14th at the London Podcast Festival, it's the Weekly Planet featuring me and Jackson. If you want to buy tickets to that, and that sounds exciting, too bad! You missed it! Nice try! But,
Starting point is 00:01:59 on Wednesday the 18th, we'll be performing in Edinburgh. And on Saturday the 21st, we'll be performing in Edinburgh. And on Saturday the 21st, we'll be performing in Manchester with a show in Birmingham coming soon. TBA. Yeah, it'll be announced. It's their fault. We want to.
Starting point is 00:02:14 Yeah, we want to. We'd love to announce it, but we've got to figure some stuff out first. They've got a guy that keeps not replying to emails and then replying and being real keen, but then he's not working the next day. We're figuring it out. Anyway, we'll get to it. He's more of a guest than a friend.
Starting point is 00:02:27 Yeah. Currently, but I think there's friend in the future. The live tour information will be in the show notes below. And yeah, hopefully we'll see you there. If you're not from the UK, please don't fly for this. Don't see us there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't put that much pressure on us.
Starting point is 00:02:40 We don't want that. We don't want that. We're coming to the UK. You don't need to go anywhere. Unless you live in the UK, then you could do a bit of traffic. Yeah, you can drive a little bit, but don't get on a plane for this. Yeah, come on. But speaking of places things are, Krang.
Starting point is 00:02:53 So Krang. God. From the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. All you need to know about Krang is that he's a little brain guy. Yes. I did, while I was taking a shit, I hooked up Craig to try and learn a little bit more about him. And let me tell you, none of it is of any use for what we're talking about today. And it's like, which version?
Starting point is 00:03:10 Because some version, because in the original, the cartoon, it's implied that he had a body and he needs a new body. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So like he's part of, there was more to him? He was like a lizard man, I think, initially. And then he lost his body through science. And somebody made him the android body that he lives in now. Or they took it from him. They took his body?
Starting point is 00:03:31 I've heard that in some versions. Yeah, like he's a criminal. He's like the Hitler. In the 2003 version, I believe. And this might also be in the original comic, which gets very bizarre very quickly. Yeah, he's like, there's a bunch of Krangs. Yeah. And he's like the worst one.
Starting point is 00:03:48 He's the worst Krang. Oh, my God. I'm so glad we've got four Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles to keep us safe from the worst Krang. Yeah, exactly. It's funny. Yeah. So when Krang gets this android body.
Starting point is 00:04:01 Yeah. And this has always baffled me. He doesn't, and he is a head. Yeah. But he doesn't go where the head would go no he goes right to the guts now
Starting point is 00:04:11 when you punch someone obviously in the head you can punch someone too yeah sure but the guts are right there and also
Starting point is 00:04:18 if that robot body just stops is Krang gonna slop out onto the floor almost certainly it just seems like a crazy place to put a crank. It's dangerous to hit someone in the head.
Starting point is 00:04:28 There's bone. It's like hitting someone in the stomach or in the crank. It's a safe punch. Oh, you cranked me, bro! Right in the crank. You can't miss. You can't break your hand on a forehead or whatever. Even if you punch
Starting point is 00:04:44 weird. You know, like a... You're going to be alright. You can't break your hand on a forehead or whatever. Exactly. Even if you punch weird. You're going to be all right. It's also funny because if I was fighting Krang and I would aim for the Krang, you know what I mean? Straight up. It's not like he has any protection there. He's got a glass screen or something.
Starting point is 00:05:02 Exactly. It should be like a microwave, right? You press the button, the door open, and you pull Krang out and dunk him or whatever. But yeah, if you're aiming, if you're in a fight with a regular person, you're like, head too tough, I'll go for the stomach anyway. With this, you're like, head too tough, the stomach it's like
Starting point is 00:05:19 it's weaker than a regular stomach. Also, just like, you got a bat, it's so easy to hit someone in the stomach with a bat. Oh, yeah. Golf club? Yeah. Every weapon was made. It's a bigger target as well.
Starting point is 00:05:30 Got a gun? Yeah. Shoot the Krang, baby. You can, like you said, you can just pull him out as well. You can really just two hands. What can he do? Also, the machine shuts down then, right? Because he's got little like-
Starting point is 00:05:43 He's got a doohickeys. It's an apparatus. It's an apparatus. It's like a suit of... A robot suit for him, basically. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. What do you... Get in the robot, Krang, hey?
Starting point is 00:05:55 Yeah, dude. Evangelion reference? Krang-Vangelion? Yeah, yeah. Krang-Vangelion. Neon Genesis Krang-Vangelion. If you were Krang... Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:02 No, okay. I'd have an awesome life. Obviously. But it's a bad place to go if you're Krang. Yeah. No, okay. I'd have an awesome life. Obviously. But it's a bad place to go if you're Krang. Yeah. But he went there. Yeah. What's Krang getting out of it?
Starting point is 00:06:11 Being stomach height. Well, Shredder, because recently re-watching those with my son, it's like, where do you start with Ninja Turtles? I guess this version. Yeah. I think we did the first four and then we're not going further than this. This show, it's not good. The first four, pretty solid. Pretty solid solid it's closer to the comics or whatever but he's like begging shredder to build
Starting point is 00:06:31 him a body yeah so shredder makes the in the cartoon at least the initial krang it was shredder's choice yeah which is like a wild thing to request and that shredder can do yeah and then be like yep here it is. Yeah. If you're Krang, you're like, hey, man, awesome body. I appreciate it. Why am I in this? You want to be at head height just for eyeline alone.
Starting point is 00:06:54 Yeah. When the Ninja Turtles talk to Krang, they're going to look down. Yeah. And Krang can't even really look up because he's in. Yeah. True. It's truly a baffling place to put Krang. Well, I think it's Shredder's plan to like,
Starting point is 00:07:06 you don't want him too overpowered. It's funny that mixing his head from head height into his stomach is the thing that keeps him regular powered. The only thing stopping Krang from being OP is his ability to see. If he's a couple of foot shorter, then we'll be safe. If he's a couple of feet taller, then we'll be safe. If he's a couple of feet taller, we're in trouble. It's over.
Starting point is 00:07:27 Yeah. It's funny then, why do you think they gave the robot a head? Yeah. Oh, unless, is it meant to be like a disguise? It's not very good.
Starting point is 00:07:35 Like, is it like, does he wear like coats and shit? No, it has probably happened. Yeah. But not really. Like, he's also like nine feet tall. Yeah. And also like,
Starting point is 00:07:44 I guess you got Bebop and Rocksteady just rolling around looking like two fucked up guys also that thing that he's in I know it would like stop if he's out of it
Starting point is 00:07:53 but it does have expression like when he's being attacked and you see because in the first episodes he grows really big and the ninjas go inside I don't know if you remember
Starting point is 00:08:02 and they have to knock out like the crystal that made him grow and as they're fighting him he's like he's all like he can kind of feel pain yeah i think something there's something going on i don't know specifically what his body is a robot body but maybe can feel pain still maybe which defeats the whole purpose of a robot body but i guess if he just wants a body yeah wait is his body, is his head stomach height? He was originally a lizard monster.
Starting point is 00:08:27 Was his head in? I don't think it was. I think it was just at the face, right? I think you can Google it. Have a quick Google. Get out your little machine and look up where is Krang's real head. Let me just say, because I was a kid in the 90s a million years ago and the Krang toy
Starting point is 00:08:43 you could get, it was the one where he, it was like a little kind of ostrich. Like it had two skinny little like legs. So, cause it's always like yay big, right? You know, like the size of a Ninja Turtle figure
Starting point is 00:08:54 and the Krang was in the top. So you'd have to pay extra to get the super Krang. So you could only get, wait, so you could only get Krang on like a little, what?
Starting point is 00:09:02 Yeah. It's just basically like on a little platform with two like, two metal ostrich legs. That's so funny. Yeah, because it was cheaper than... Yeah, of course. But the option was there
Starting point is 00:09:10 to buy the big Krang, but that was a whole situation. That's like getting the Technodrome, really. You have to be a rich kid. I was never a Ninja Turtles kid. Would you want Krang? Not really. I think, you know,
Starting point is 00:09:21 you get Shredder, you get Bebop and Roxette. Shredder could barely stand up. If you remember the toy, it's all hunched over and crooked. They don't really look like anything. Yeah, I think it was one of those things where they designed the toys and then we'll figure it out later in the show. And then there was a million.
Starting point is 00:09:37 And you couldn't get them. Oh, you're looking at the toys. No, I'm looking at the original. That's what Crane used to look like. He's huge. He's a huge lizard and he's been reduced to a brain in his stomach. But then... That's the thing I'm talking about.
Starting point is 00:09:51 Oh, so you could get like a little... That's got a glass dome over the top of it. Yeah, that's so much better. Is he holding a cup? Yeah, it looks like it. He's got a cup of coffee. Yeah, he does. It's like he's got a big thing of like like fucking drinking chocolate or
Starting point is 00:10:06 something and then yeah there's krang as we know him today just above the dick just right above the dick the pubic hair would be just under his chin yeah what to what end why i guess shredder he loves it based on this photo which is good for audio medium. Yeah. Oh, Krang's having a great time. Oh, yeah. I mean, God bless Krang. That'd make a great t-shirt, a Krang t-shirt. Oh, yes. That's good stuff. Yeah, yeah. I'm trying to think, is there a-
Starting point is 00:10:31 Fucking Krang. Just let me just say that. Fucking Krang, dude. Krang, what's your voice sound like? I always imagine it as, I'm Krang. I love it in the stomach. I can see everyone else's stomach. That's where you're most vulnerable, so. That's where I am, so I'm Krang, I love it in the stomach. I can see everyone else's stomach. That's where you're most vulnerable, so...
Starting point is 00:10:46 That's where I am, so I'm extra vulnerable. What? Don't stop me. If I saw Krang in real life... Yeah, sure. I think I would be scared that Krang was going to get in my stomach. Do you think that's reasonable? Yeah, like...
Starting point is 00:11:01 Like, if I was up against Krang, I would be, like, protecting my belly. Oh, you think that you were like, oh, that guy he's in was also a guy and then he ate his stomach out and then became... Now he lives in his stomach. Good point. I mean, that could be true. Like I wouldn't know what I was seeing if I saw Krang. Or I'd be like, that man's brain fell out of his head. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:17 Into his stomach. Can that happen? Well, yeah, you gotta make sure you gotta keep your brain switched. Like, you gotta keep your stomach full. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then if you have any... I imagine that it would happen if you, like, did a big jump. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:30 But it dislodges your brain, which goes down your neck and into your stomach. Into your stomach, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it's also a guy. And then it gets a face, yeah. Sometimes they're also called utroms. Okay. And in the 2003 cartoon, which was a little bit after my time, Shredder is the Krang.
Starting point is 00:11:45 What? So there's a, the Shredder's in it for like, I can't remember how many episodes. Yeah. And there's a moment where he goes to fight Leonardo and Leonardo fucking beheads him. And you're like, oh shit, this is like. Like Shredder's dead. Yeah. Cause that's more based on like the original comics and it's kind of more, that's not super
Starting point is 00:12:02 violent, but it's kind of more violent. And you think Shredder is dead, but he's a Krang. So the Shredder in that is not Shredder. He's a, every, all, that's, what I love about the Ninja Turtles is they fuck around with the mythology so much. Because it's so weird and there's so much there. Absolutely. When he's a Krang,
Starting point is 00:12:18 because I always assume that the Krangs are quite vulnerable. Yeah. Is he vulnerable as just a Krang? Yeah. I mean, you could punt him, you know? That's what I keep thinking. Yeah. Or just squish him with my shoe. Well, like, I know this is a very big derailment, but it's, well, it's not that big.
Starting point is 00:12:33 It's still about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, which is rare for us. Jackson, you're taking off your jumper mid-episode. I'm hot. Yeah, fair enough. Maybe it's hot in here. Yeah, we should have turned the aircon on before we started. Don't know why we didn't. We'll turn.
Starting point is 00:12:43 Seems like a waste of time. Anyway, someone has asked if the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have ever teamed up with Shredder or Krang to take on something worse. Yeah. And I think that this is funny. And this is huge props to Shredder for this. Shout out. Shout out to Shredder for this.
Starting point is 00:12:59 In the 2012 series, they did try to team up with Shredder once, but being as evil as he is, he took the opportunity to try and murder Splinter mid-battle. God damn it. God damn it. He can't even help himself. That's the scorpion and the frog situation, isn't it? We're going to take down this bigger evil, but that old rat is right there. I'm right here.
Starting point is 00:13:19 Breaking Splinter's neck would feel pretty good, I reckon. Oh, that'd be a crisp snap, wouldn't it? Tell me I'm wrong. No, you're not wrong, but it's just an insane thing to say. I think it's a normal thing to say. If I met a rat the size of a man, I would snap his neck, dude. He's not straight up.
Starting point is 00:13:38 That's how I'd greet him. Oh, it would feel so good. I think it's a normal thing to say and a normal thing to think. Do you think any other characters in the Ninja Turtles universe that would have as good necks to snap? No, but Krang would be really good to squish. Oh, my God. Good to grab by one of his feelers and thwap into a wall.
Starting point is 00:13:58 Oh, yeah. And Krang would also be really good to drop off a building. Oh, yeah. And hopefully you don't want him to explode in, like, visceral gore. You just want him to get a building. Oh! You don't want him to explode in visceral gore. You just want him to get really flat. If he's going to burst out the sides, you just want it to little slits. It's crazy to
Starting point is 00:14:13 imagine Krang landing and then all of his insides going out to his tube arms and then jetting out the side. And then you've just got empty Krang skin. Fill it with herbs and spices. Make a Krang haggis. Oh, my God. Krangis.
Starting point is 00:14:29 Krang haggis. I don't think I'd eat Krang. I would throw them off a building, though. The rest of that sounds good. Oh, definitely. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we probably shouldn't eat Krang. I'd throw the good ones off a building.
Starting point is 00:14:38 The turtles? No, no. The good Krangs. Oh, right. The good Krangs. I don't want them around. I'm with you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:45 Get out of our fucking dimension, man. In the 2012, not 2012, that's a good series, there's a Rise of the Ninja Turtles, and there was a movie, a Netflix movie. It's pretty cool. The Krang and that arrive, and they're like a hive mind. Whoa. And they take over people's bodies or something in some vague way
Starting point is 00:15:03 that I can't remember. Yeah, that's fair. But again, this is another level of Krang, but they're not, I don't think they're doing big bodies and stuff in that. I think they're just big gooey, like huge Krangs. Oh, really big, like as in is regular Krang in there?
Starting point is 00:15:16 I think they're just called the Krang. So they're all Krang. I can't remember, how's Krang depicted in Mutant Mayhem? He's in it. I think he's not in it. He's not in it. Shredder's not in it until like the very, very end. Yeah, I remember Shredder being in it right at the end. I think if we get a sequel, we might see Krang.
Starting point is 00:15:30 I hope we see Krang. I'd love to see Krang. They went through all the other guys. We're talking a lot of shit about Krang, but I like Krang. Oh, yeah, he's fun. I mean, just as a concept, wild. It's awesome. What if it was a brain in a guy's stomach?
Starting point is 00:15:40 Yeah. Where would you put Krang? I mean, in the head. But I don't know in the head still like a little bit too because it's like because I saw from behind oh there's the head but why doesn't he be couple that as well like why doesn't he want that why doesn't he want to be on the head yeah what does he like looking at our bellies that's what I'm saying I think that's gonna be some part of it could be like
Starting point is 00:16:04 you an arse man anytime people turn around yeah like looking at our bellies? That's what I'm saying. I think there's got to be some part of it. Could be like you, an arse man. Anytime people turn around, he's like, oh yeah. Yeah, that's your cranks at arse height. He's also at fart height, which is the one downside of being at arse height.
Starting point is 00:16:12 Maybe not for Crank. That would be a crazy revelation. Crank's a fart guy. Crank just eats his fart guy like he's getting crop dusted. When somebody walks farts as a fart, he opens up his little microwave,
Starting point is 00:16:24 collects some of his stink. Today's a good day to be Crank. Crank. Crank. us, a party opens up his little microwave. Today's a good day to be crank. Crank. Crank. Today's a good day to be crank because somebody just farted on me. And you're like, you're the Hitler of your people? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:34 Yeah. Well, Hitler liked fucked. I mean, he liked a lot of fucked up stuff. But he liked getting pissed on and stuff. So, you know. That's what they say. Maybe crank and Hitler aren't so different. I was never saying they weren't different.
Starting point is 00:16:44 I'm saying he is Hitler. He's the Hitler of where he's from. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, well, in a lot of ways, in a lot of ways, that's true. Weird dimension as well, because like there's Rockman and like children, like space children. I'm talking about the original show.
Starting point is 00:16:58 There's like the neutrinos and they're like cool fifties kind of like kids in like flying 50 styles car. And then there's Krang. Yeah. And then there's like rock soldiers. Like I don't know what they're doing. What is happening in Dimension X? That's a great question.
Starting point is 00:17:12 I mean. That's a great question. Krang could probably follow the Daleks lead because Daleks are also just like this weird goo thing. They're enclosed as well. They know what they're doing. Yeah. That's smart.
Starting point is 00:17:21 I mean, they got a fucked up outside design. Well, yes, they do. Yeah, I don't know where you go, salt and pepper shaker or whatever. What's going on here? Well, you only need one eye. No, but it's got an eye and one plunger thing, remember? What's the plunger do? Is the plunger in a gun?
Starting point is 00:17:35 Is the plunger in a ray gun? I don't remember. I mean, the plunger was a thing in the 50s or whatever. Yeah, we better not change it. Yeah, they've made it other things. They recently did a thing where David Tennant, Doctor Who, it's like a short where he crashes into the guy who's making the Daleks and he puts the plunger on and he goes,
Starting point is 00:17:51 you should use a plunger. And that's like the in-canon reason for it. Doctor Who put a plunger on him as a joke. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Is this helpful?
Starting point is 00:18:01 I think the plunger has eaten people before. Yeah, you're probably right. But that's crazy because they've got a gun that just ends eaten people before. Yeah, you're probably right. But that's crazy because they've got a gun that just ends a human life. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Why didn't Krang design something? I think the perfect place for Krang would be like a little tank. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:17 Just like a little remote control tank that he can just tool around and shoot the Ninja Turtles and the Gooch or whatever. It could be called a crank. Yeah, a crank and his crank. Exactly. Shoot up, you know? Yeah. So you think no body, just like a vehicle. Exactly. Like Robot Wars.
Starting point is 00:18:28 Yeah. With a crank in it. I think most of the Robot Wars robots would be the perfect house for crank. Just got a big hammer on it. Yeah. A big scoop. He drives onto Donatello and just flips it. Well, hey, Donatello lands on his shell.
Starting point is 00:18:43 Mightn't be able to get back up. Might crack it I think if that happens to a turtle, that's lights out I think that is lights out I think that has happened to them before I think it's Donatello has a metal shell I think his shell's fucked He's all exposed or whatever
Starting point is 00:18:55 Or he did it himself, he replaced it himself Because he's weird He's a strange guy I think Krang with a little flipper Flipped him on the shell, crack the shell. Yeah. Just anything where he's not so exposed.
Starting point is 00:19:08 I mean, to be fair, that robot's like super fucking dangerous as well. It's got all sorts of weapons and can fly and could grow at one point. Like his arm will turn
Starting point is 00:19:17 into like a big like chain with a spiked ball on the end. Yeah. Okay. Inspector Gadget style. Yeah. I don't think, not that
Starting point is 00:19:23 I can remember, no one's ever like, Donatello's never put the stick in and then just like, they've never been able to do that. To get close enough to crying to get him out. Yeah. But it's still, well maybe he's not so vulnerable in that. I mean, I guess if the arms and legs of his robot can kind of transform
Starting point is 00:19:38 into stuff, maybe being in the stomach is actually the safest spot, because that's like the in-between of legs and arms. Okay, yeah, I getcha. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But also, now that I think about it and I said Inspector Gadget style, what if we put him in Inspector Gadget? I think that's probably safer for him. Well, the problem with Inspector Gadget
Starting point is 00:19:52 is that if you're fighting Inspector Gadget, he announces his moves before he does that. Yeah, but then the wrong thing happens. If Inspector Gadget says, go, go, gun, by the time he's saying gun, oh, but then the wrong thing does happen.
Starting point is 00:20:02 He shoots out a fork or whatever. He'd say, go, go, gadget, four, I'm missing four gun. That, but then the wrong thing does happen. He shoots out a fork or whatever. He'd say go-go gadget four... Have we said four gun? That's nothing. Go-go gadget four guns. Is that him trying to get four guns? I don't know what just happened to my brain, though.
Starting point is 00:20:16 Go-go gadget pistol or rifle or gun. But you're saying Krang goes in Inspector Gadget, but Inspector Gadget is just still himself? And Krang just lives in there, just observing the universe through the mind of a child, basically? Hiding inside Inspector Gadget.
Starting point is 00:20:34 No, I imagine. Inspector Gadget knows something's wrong, but he can't quite put his finger on what? Is that what you're saying? No, I was saying that Krang's just installed in Inspector Gadget because if gadgets are the thing keeping him safe, why not go Max Gadgets? Yeah, but the thing about Inspector Gadget because if gadgets are the thing keeping him safe, why not go max gadgets? Yeah, but the thing about Inspector Gadget
Starting point is 00:20:48 is he's clumsy. He goes, go go gadget, headcopter or whatever. He crashes into a mountainside, Crank flops out. Loose Crank cannot survive. Yeah, so would he be encased in Inspector Gadget? Yeah, I think so. Where on Inspector Gadget's body?
Starting point is 00:21:04 I think the safest spot is not the head. But I don't think it's the stomach either. On the human body, where is the safest place? I think like kind of in between the collarbones. Oh yeah, that's a good spot. It's where the heart is, it makes sense, right? It's behind a... Put him behind a ribcage.
Starting point is 00:21:18 Oh, okay, crying fully internal. And he could maybe have, like, you install maybe two eye holes so he can see out. So not like a monitor, just two fleshy holes the crank could peek out of. And you say, Inspector Gadget, what is that? And he says, I don't know. I've been changing. I think it's a parasite.
Starting point is 00:21:37 I don't know. But he's also a like, he's fine. Does he have guts, Inspector Gadget? Well, that's the thing. I would be worried as a crank that there'd be too much stuff in there. Oh, yeah, that's a good point. And the helicopter would fold up and kill you or whatever. Kind of like a cat behind a recliner or whatever. You're going to be really scared.
Starting point is 00:21:53 Helicopter back in and just impale him. Exactly. Inspector Gadget just shuts down. It's like, oh, no. It's like being inside Optimus Prime and he transforms and he just mushes you up. Exactly. It's like that. You get caught in a gear and that's it, lights out.
Starting point is 00:22:07 Yeah. And then you throw up Krang later. Would he? I don't know. I think he'd just ooze out. Yeah. Just seep out through his pores. Over time, Inspector Gadget would smell more and more like rot in Krang.
Starting point is 00:22:19 That would be bad to have a Krang crushed on the inside of your body and no way of getting it out. It would be really bad have a crank crushed on the inside of your body and no way of getting it out. It would be really bad, dude. Pretty ordinary. You might go inspect a gadget, every gadget, all at once to try and eject it from your body. Oh, imagine the smell. Oh, no. And then, can you wash and inspect the gadget? I think you could put it through a car wash.
Starting point is 00:22:37 Okay. Just open up some hatches and put a hose in it. Yeah, put a hose in it. Figure it out. I don't think there's a lot of man in him, even brain-wise. Yeah, because he... I mean, the helicopter comes out of his head. Yeah, that's true.
Starting point is 00:22:52 There's not a lot of him in there. Best case scenario, he's got two halves of his brain that are separate. But also, I mean, this is not the question, but if I was building Inspector Gadget, so I've got a dead cop. You've got an exploded security guard. You've got a dead cop. You've got an exploded security guard. You've got a dead cop.
Starting point is 00:23:06 I have a dead cop. How'd you come into that, Jackson? I was just trolling crime scenes. Oh, yeah? Okay. For my home lab. Does anybody want... Anyone claiming this one?
Starting point is 00:23:17 Because I've got some experiments I've been meaning to do. I've got a helicopter I need to put in a guy. So I've got a dead cop and a bunch of gadgets. Yeah. Now, say Inspector Gadget still has his brain. I don't have to keep that in a guy. So I got a dead cop and a bunch of gadgets. Yeah. Now say Inspector Gadget still has his brain.
Starting point is 00:23:28 I don't have to keep that in the head. No. I could put that wherever in his body. Yeah. I could be like, I'm getting rid of this brain. I'm going to put it somewhere else so I have more room for helicopters. Yeah. And I don't know, lasers that come out of his eyes or whatever.
Starting point is 00:23:39 Toothbrush out of his finger. Yeah, exactly. Oil slick. Toothbrush out of his front. Hang on exactly. Oil slick. Toothbrush out of his front. Hang on. Toothbrushes out of his top teeth. To brush his bottom teeth? To brush his bottom teeth.
Starting point is 00:23:52 Okay, yeah. I'd like to see one come out of the eye. Disgusting. Yeah, that's good. And tweezers to pluck his nose hairs, which he is still growing. It is pretty wild to think that they've installed a toothbrush. Yeah. Why not just install fake teeth that don't get plucked?
Starting point is 00:24:11 That's a good point. That's true. Maybe his teeth are real. Maybe, yeah. Inspector Gadget has real teeth. I guess they could have done the RoboCop reboot thing where they're like, hey, we've tried to say every part of you that was salvageable, we've put in the suit.
Starting point is 00:24:24 It's not much, but there's some there. Is he from Robocop? Do you think that was the idea? I don't know. If he was like a family-friendly attempt at the Robocop. Inspector Gadget outdates Robocop by a significant margin. So Robocop is cribbing from Inspector Gadget. They say, what if this happened, but it was really fucked up instead of goofy and fun?
Starting point is 00:24:42 Was Inspector Gadget like the early 80s then? I think Inspector Gadget was even earlier than that. Like the 70s, maybe? I hate that.. Was Inspector Gadget like the early 80s then? I think Inspector Gadget was even earlier than that. Like the 70s maybe? I hate that. Got a little at the Inspector Gadget. We're about to find out when my phone loads. Hope everyone at home is 1982. Wow, he really does.
Starting point is 00:24:54 Is that the movie or the TV show? That's the TV show. Maybe it's from like 2000 maybe? I don't know. It's Matthew Broderick and then French Stewart. Yeah, that's true. That's crazy. Oh, this is an awesome question.
Starting point is 00:25:07 Yeah. So the first Google result. People also ask, and all I've Googled is Inspector Gadget. Yeah, okay. People also ask, does Inspector Gadget have autism? Yes. I would imagine so. What does it say?
Starting point is 00:25:21 What's the answer? Is there a canonical answer to that question in the text? It's a link to a Reddit thread, and they are saying yes. Okay. I mean, everybody on Reddit thinks everybody has autism. That's just an awesome first. They're like, hey, you're giggling. Enough people are curious about Inspector Gadget that it's the first result.
Starting point is 00:25:42 Yeah, where is he on the spectrum? I think Inspector Gadget doesn't have a traditional brain. I, where is he on the spectrum? I think Inspector Gadget doesn't have a traditional brain. I think you can't even... He's a robot. Yeah, you can't even ask the question about him, you know? It doesn't even make sense.
Starting point is 00:25:51 He's basically C-3PO. Yeah. The C-3PO of autism? Yes. Maybe, actually. Yes, he does, obviously. You might be right on that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:00 Yeah, well, crying in an Inspector Gadget body, but when we were saying crying inside, I can't stop imagining him just in a human being. Yeah. Like loose inside your guts. Loose.
Starting point is 00:26:11 Yeah, dude. You should never have anything loose inside your stomach. Loose Krang crawling around my body, ratatouille-ing me from my inside. Ratatouille-ing you from the inside. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A Krang there kind of behind my rib cage. Here's what will happen.
Starting point is 00:26:26 Yeah. The operation, it's a great success. Yes. You get up. Great work. You're walking around for a bit. Why are you doing it? Because you were stealing cups before.
Starting point is 00:26:34 It's another experiment. Okay, this is a separate experiment. I have many cranks and many great plans, yeah. Like the experiment's a success. You're going for a walk after surgery, and then all of a sudden you feel yourself choking as Crank's holding your windpipe from the inside. Let go! We can work together, Crank!
Starting point is 00:26:52 Doesn't it seem like, well, you know, he can be in my human body. The Ninja Turtles aren't expecting me. Yeah. I say, Donatello, can I get your autograph? And then Crank, whoa! Out of my mouth. So to describe that sound for anyone listening in the traditional podcast format of audio only,
Starting point is 00:27:09 Jackson role-played very quickly there, him shaking Donatello's hand and then vomiting Krang onto him. Yeah, that's the plan. Ideally. What can Krang do? Ideally, I say, hey, Donatello, I've always been curious. This may be a personal question. Can we role-play this?
Starting point is 00:27:25 I know where this is going. Hello, I'm Donatello, I've always been curious. This may be a personal question. Can we role play this? I know where this is going. Hello, I'm Donatello. Hey, Donatello, big fan. Hey, great to meet you. You're not freaked out by the fact I'm a big turtle or whatever? No, I love it. It's actually speaking of the fact that you're a big turtle. I've always been curious about your mouth.
Starting point is 00:27:40 Are you trying to kiss me? Oh, I see where this is going. No, no, no, no, no. I just would like to see down your throat. What weapon does Donatello use? A staff. Yeah, at this point, I'm hitting you over the head. I'm going to bonk.
Starting point is 00:27:49 Yeah. I'm going to try one of the other turtles, I guess. I'm going to go through the turtles. You get Michelangelo, I reckon. Yeah, I go, hey, man, go, ah. And he just does it. And then you throw him. And Krang goes in Donatello.
Starting point is 00:28:01 And then you're controlling a turtle. Exactly. My job's done. There's plenty of room in that shell. Yeah. Oh, there's heaps of room in a turtle. Also, was Krang goes in down to tell her. Then you're controlling a turtle. Exactly. My job's done. There's plenty of room in that shell. Yeah. Oh, there's heaps of room in a turtle. Also, was Krang controlling you, or were you guys just working together? Because if Krang's not controlling you.
Starting point is 00:28:13 Were you looking to evict Krang, I think? I don't know. I think I was trying to get the Ninja Turtles. Because if he goes into a Ninja Turtle's mouth in the same way that he was living in you, but Krang wasn't controlling you, then he's not controlling the ninja turtle. The ninja turtle probably just like hits themselves, like just clears their chest, basically. I think the problem as well is that I was imagining Krang like in my guts. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:34 But where I've put him in Donatello is in his stomach. Krang just gets eaten. Krang cannot survive stomach acid. Yeah. That's a sad day to be Krang. I mean, he is an internal organ man. Maybe he could. Ah, but stomach acid Yeah that's a sad day to be Krang I mean he is an internal organ man Maybe he could Ah but stomach acid is different
Starting point is 00:28:49 You couldn't put stomach acid on a brain No A brain is not ready for that That's crazy to picture A full brain in your stomach being digested Wow Well yeah apparently stomach acid really If you're going get shot, getting shot
Starting point is 00:29:06 in the stomach, real big no-no because then your stomach acid leaks into the wound. Oh, are they gonna be like, no, it absorbs the bullet, it destroys the bullet. No, no, no, no, no, no. It's a big no-no because the bullet goes through and then the stomach acid comes out. It goes everywhere else in your body. Into the wound, yeah. Okay, so maybe we kind of crank it. That's a good way to get rid of a crank if you've got one, I guess.
Starting point is 00:29:24 Yeah. Digest it. Yeah, like maybe we can't have krang in our body. That's a good way to get rid of a krang if you've got one, I guess. Yeah. Digest it. Yeah, like just puncture your stomach. Oh, yeah, that's true. Let the stomach acid do its job. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Crying fleas up into your chest, up into your lungs. And then you slowly bleed out and die. Yeah, but you got it.
Starting point is 00:29:37 Yeah. He's scared. You're going down with a ship, idiot. Well, that's the thing. If you have a krang, it probably lights out for you anyway. Yeah. You might as well die somewhere and trap krang in your body. Yeah, idiot. Well, that's the thing. If you have a Krang, it probably lights out for you anyway. You might as well die somewhere and trap Krang in your body. Or in the wilderness. Go into the desert
Starting point is 00:29:49 and die. Krang will dry out, dude. He'll be like a raisin. Big time. Or, I think if Krang was in a desert, a vulture would get him. Krang looks awful. So I think a vulture would be right on it. Like, ooh, gods! Yeah, that's kind of what I'm thinking. It is crazy he's in the gods, but looks like awful sort of so I think a vulture would be be right on it like ooh gods
Starting point is 00:30:05 yeah that's kind of what I'm thinking it is crazy he's in the gods but looks like gods yes I think that is crazy me too but it is
Starting point is 00:30:14 you know we were saying like not in the head right yeah and I get like it shouldn't be like the Krang stomach window but on a head
Starting point is 00:30:21 but if Krang was in the skull of his android, looking at the android's eyes, I don't see what would be so bad about that. No. No, you're right is what I was saying. But no,
Starting point is 00:30:35 you fucking idiot, of course that would be bad. Well, because then he could look the ninja turtles in the eyes while he killed them. Oh yeah, that's cool. He would like that actually. But even like, it is strange not to put that in the head. But also like, yeah that's cool he would like that actually but even like it is strange not to put that in the head but also like
Starting point is 00:30:47 we know like Shredder's got a cool helmet just give him one of those yeah exactly that's true it wouldn't even
Starting point is 00:30:52 need to be it wouldn't need to be a robot or anything no just a helmet a literal helmet with a little eye hole
Starting point is 00:30:59 yeah just literally give him Shredder make your helmet a second time give it to Krang Krang painted another color. Oh, yeah. You don't want him to sign.
Starting point is 00:31:08 Are you imagining Krang just hangs out in a helmet? Yeah. Okay. I guess, yeah, he needs to. Is he on a body or is he loose? I feel like he'd just be in a bucket. Krang in a bucket but wearing a helmet. Krang in a bucket is perfect.
Starting point is 00:31:23 Hard to hurt, but hard for him to hurt anyone. Yeah, that's true. That's probably best. Yeah, it's kind of the ideal situation. Because do we want him gone, like realistically? Do we want him dead? Well, we want to throw him off stuff. Yeah, that's true.
Starting point is 00:31:37 Put him in a washing machine or whatever. Yeah, but like... Would Crank thrive in the sea? He seems like he would. He's kind of like a fish in a way. Can he swim? I don't know. Is he just crab-like enough that he should be in the ocean?
Starting point is 00:31:52 He looks like he should be in the ocean or the sewer. Like you should peel him off something, I think. Yeah. Well, the turtles are already in the sewer. Oh, that's true. Is there another safe place in the human body for Crank? I mean, the butt, right? Yeah. We were talking about it earlier. The butt. But is that... Well, then he true. Is there another safe place in the human body for Krang? I mean, the butt, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:05 We were talking about it earlier. The butt. But is that... Well, then he gets sat on all the time. Exactly, yeah. You need something that stands. But are you imagining sort of like in the pelvis? That's a strong place.
Starting point is 00:32:15 That's a strong spot, yeah. I mean, but then is that too close to the stomach? Or are we just right at the same level? Well, we've moved it lower, but then he can get... If the Ninja Turtles try and knee the android in the balls, they're kneeing Krang in the head. What about if you had one Krang foot? Whoa, Krang foot?
Starting point is 00:32:30 Krang foot? That's good. And then he can kick with that foot, and Krang sees the Ninja Turtle's head coming at like max speed toward him. That's good. And if we want to get Krang down the Ninja Turtle's mouth again. Might be the way to do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:44 When the android kicks Donatello in the head, Crang... Why do you think that Crang wants to go inside a Ninja Turtle? He needs to be in... You can cause havoc if you're a loose Crang in a digestive system. Yeah. Well, I guess, like, the moment he gets swallowed, you just go arms out and just try and wreck as much stuff as possible.
Starting point is 00:33:03 Or if you're in the stomach, I don't, hey. Does he want to capture the Ninja Turtles or kill them? God, I feel like it's an experimental thing, right? They want to run experiments. Oh no, they want to de... De-turtle them? Yeah, they want to turn them back into turtles. Oh, he wants to get rid of the ooze. Why? I don't know, man. Does he want the, is it to like
Starting point is 00:33:20 reverse engineer the ooze? No, they can do that. Like, they're always mutaging up something. I mean, you see as the series go on, they've got great ideas up top, like Bebop and Rocksteady and Ninja Turtles themselves. The idea of a Krang. And then it's like, I don't know, fucking Stingray Man? They run out of stuff.
Starting point is 00:33:36 They can do it. They can definitely do it. So the villains get access to Mutagen pretty much straight away. Yeah, it's a Dimension X something. I believe. We've discussed this, it's a Dimension X something. Oh, okay. I believe. It's also, we've discussed this not on a Ninja Turtles episode, but on a Daredevil episode.
Starting point is 00:33:53 It's crazy that that's the same thing that made Daredevil white. Oh, yeah, absolutely. It got him in the eyes and then fell into the drain, got the turtles. I think it's crazy that the thing made the turtles. Yeah. If that guy driving the truck knew what he did. Oh, my God, yeah. I mean, he would get royalties for one. He would think so.
Starting point is 00:34:07 He'd never have to drive a truck ever again. Did the Daredevil ever track him down and thank them? I think the turtles are probably the ones that are more thankful. Yeah. But, I mean, he's got powers, like Daredevil. He got powers out of it. I think, didn't the guru just make him blind? Yeah, blinded.
Starting point is 00:34:24 Didn't he get power? Yeah, he's got an echo kind of, well, it depends on the version, but he's got like an echo kind of, he hears as well as he can see, but there's also versions where like he trained himself to do that and anybody can do it. I thought it was like Batman and, yeah, just trained himself. He doesn't have super strength or anything like that. Yeah, okay.
Starting point is 00:34:41 My bad. Then fair enough, he wouldn't thank the man who blinded him. That would be a crazy day at the truck depot. Hey, man. I can't see anymore. Thank you. I don't know if you remember me,
Starting point is 00:34:52 but 30 years ago... Dude, I was just like talking to a wall. Hey, man. You were driving your truck. I don't know if you... A bit of ooze hit me in the eye and I've been blind ever since.
Starting point is 00:35:02 I just wanted to shake your hand. Instead of honing in his echolocating skills, he spent the entire time just trying to track down this man. Yeah, to thank him. Yeah. Yeah, so if I was Daredevil, I probably wouldn't think the person that blinded me, but if I was a turtle that got turned into a guy, yeah, probably.
Starting point is 00:35:17 I think it's crazy thinking about it now, that the ooze that got into Daredevil's eyes didn't make his eyes guys. His eyes guys. Well, that's what it did to the turtles. That's a great point. His eyes just grow and become guys. Like little men. That's awesome.
Starting point is 00:35:31 And what's crazy... Now there's a what if for you, Marvel. The craziest thing about your eyes becoming little men is you wouldn't know. You wouldn't know? You wouldn't be blinded by them. Oh, yeah, because your eyes wouldn't touch. They would pop off. You wouldn't know what was happening. Oh, they'd leap out Oh, yeah, because your eyes would touch. They would pop off.
Starting point is 00:35:45 You wouldn't know what was happening. Oh, they'd leap out of your skull and run away. They would just expand in your skull, leap off, blinding you. You would hear footsteps running away. And you'd be like, what the fuck? You'd be like, surely that's not my eyes who have become men. That would be the last thing. You probably wouldn't even say that.
Starting point is 00:36:02 You would just think, I have been blinded. There's people who are running away instead of helping. I don't know. I think I hear two sets of footsteps running away. My God, my eyes have become men. Teenage Mutant Ninja Eyes. God. I hate that.
Starting point is 00:36:19 Like a tail, like the optic nerve. That's so gross. The whole thing is an eye texture. Yeah, it's gooey. Yeah. It's making little noises as they run. Disgusting. Isn't part of the eye a big hole?
Starting point is 00:36:33 Yeah. You get a punch when your whole arm goes in. You're like, ah! Yeah. But they will be weak. A turtle has a shell. That's like an eye, but no protection. That's the vulnerability of an eye.
Starting point is 00:36:45 Exactly. Which I think speaks to Krang That's the vulnerability of an eye. Exactly. Which I think speaks to Krang as well, going back to that. Absolutely. Having an exposed. He's completely exposed. I kind of get the sense that if you touch Krang anywhere, it's painful for him. Oh, yeah. Yeah, kind of like a human brain, how it's kind of jelly.
Starting point is 00:37:00 Absolutely. Do you think he feels, though? Because your brain doesn't have nerve endings. That's a good point. Yeah, you can just put your hand in your own brain. You die Because your brain doesn't have nerve endings Yeah, you can just put your hand in your own brain You die, but it doesn't hurt You can do it though, you can do it Imagine getting open brain surgery
Starting point is 00:37:12 What's this? Slapping you away What are you trying to do? Nothing Stop trying to make yourself a crank It's not going to work, you're going to die, idiot Are you trying to pull yourself a crank. It's not going to work. You're going to die, idiot. Are you trying to pull your brain out? No.
Starting point is 00:37:31 I would never do that. I got your butt. Pull your brain out and die. Frozen like that. The doctor turns around. You got your brain in your hand. God damn it. Why do they keep trying to do this?
Starting point is 00:37:43 Why do they keep doing this? We're going to ban Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It's bad for the- There was all that panic when I was a kid about kids are going to go into the sewers or karate kick each other in class. There was a lot. Well, they changed it in the UK to Hero Turtles. Yeah, that's right. Ninja's illegal.
Starting point is 00:37:56 They were scared of ninjutsu. Yeah. It's funny how every single thing that became popular when we were kids- I'm assuming it still happens now where they're just like, well, we're going to ban that from schools. Yeah, absolutely. And it's interesting because if you watch the evolution, this is not related, the evolution of, like,
Starting point is 00:38:09 fights on, like, YouTube or, like, Reddit fight threads, like, it's just become people just fucking MMA-ing each other in the street. Just, like, extreme maneuvers. Because it used to be like, you know, it was like a punching and whatever because that was how people do it in movies. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:38:23 People were just fucking, like, just dropping each other in the worst ways you've ever seen. Yeah, like, I remember you'd see a fight when I was like a punching or whatever because that was how people do it in movies and now it's just people just fucking just dropping each other in the worst ways you've ever seen. Yeah, like I remember if you'd see a fight when I was a kid it would be two guys that would get up very close
Starting point is 00:38:31 do a kind of awkward hug and then just like grabbing each other's shirts grab each other and maybe one would disconnect and then throw one punch and then yeah
Starting point is 00:38:39 but it would be sloppy and then everyone would be like whoa anyway and then that would be kind of it. It's funny that we were roundhouse kicking each other. No, it's way more hectic than that.
Starting point is 00:38:47 It's like, it's almost like wrestling. What the hell? Like, just like arguing, arguing, arguing, and then one guy picking the other guy up by his head. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. And a lot of people, like, it's, I mean, it's a terrible idea to fight anybody in the street. But, like, now especially, you don't know who's watching Joe Rogan. There's a lot of these dudes out there, man.
Starting point is 00:39:06 And they only need to know a little bit of that to completely fuck up a normal person. If you don't know that and you go up against them, you are in trouble. Which is why, dear listeners, it's very important to check out the Joe Rogan experience. That's right. Coming to the UK. It's Austria and Joe Rogan. What a combo. What do you think about crying, Joe Rogan What a combo What do you think about Krang
Starting point is 00:39:26 Joe Rogan He would have opinions I think he would have Opinions on Krang I reckon he'd be excited To talk If someone rolled into The Joe Rogan experience
Starting point is 00:39:34 Yeah And was like First you'd have to Explain Krang No I reckon he would be A Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Guy already Well I can see that
Starting point is 00:39:40 But I can also He's a Doom guy Or a Quake guy Yeah yeah that's true And he is a comic guy Maybe he already knows Krang. I think he'd be excited to learn more, though. I think he's got the vibes.
Starting point is 00:39:50 He fucking looks like a Krang. He does look like a Krang! What if you got the Dutertelewz on a Krang? Start a podcast. Yeah, just an oily, sweaty, pulsing man. Just a guy smoking a joint whilst recording a podcast. Big cigar. And then people are like, hmm. He's like, yeah, pulsing man. Just a guy smoking a joint whilst recording a podcast. Big cigar. And then people are like, hmm. He's like, yeah, that is interesting. I feel like it's another way
Starting point is 00:40:09 if you get a Krang in you. You smoke a big stogie. Oh, yeah. Or you make Krang smoke a big stogie. Hey, has Krang got guts? He's got mouth. Yeah, he's got guts. It's really easy to imagine Krang smoking a cigarette, so I think he'd be fine. That is easy to imagine. With his little gross arm pulling out and having a puff.
Starting point is 00:40:28 And he's budding it out, too. It's very easy to pick up. So the fact that it's very easy for me to picture it means that it mustn't be bad for him. I can also easily imagine Krang in a trucker cap, too. Oh, yeah. I can imagine Krang eating a cigarette. Like a little cigarette. Like he's smoking it, and then he just pops it in. And you're like, is that like a Krang thing? Does he not know how to smoke a cigarette. Like a little cigarette. Like he's smoking it and then he just pops it in.
Starting point is 00:40:45 And you're like, is that like a Krang thing? Does he not know how to smoke a cigarette? Has he messed it up somehow? Yeah. Krang's, he's an interesting guy.
Starting point is 00:40:54 He's a complicated guy, dude. I like him. Yeah. I like him too, but I still would like to see what would happen if I dropped him off the 40th story.
Starting point is 00:41:00 Yeah, I think there's so much stuff you could do to Krang. Yeah. I think he's perfectly designed for that. Like stuff you could do to Krang I think he's perfectly designed for that like you know that thing they do it's like a viral thing
Starting point is 00:41:09 where you have like a tortilla and you slap somebody in the face with it but they get a mouthful of water doing that with Krang I think also if you
Starting point is 00:41:16 threw Krang at a wall he'd do that thing where he'd like flop down a bit like a rubber like quite a man kind of absolutely
Starting point is 00:41:23 you could really wreck Krang's day well I guess like we all want to rack Krang a little bit just because it looks even just like picking him up
Starting point is 00:41:30 and just stretching him he's got really strong you know like you take one bit of Krang and I'll walk and we'll see how much
Starting point is 00:41:37 we can stretch him he might not even stretch that much he might just tear down the middle but I would still be satisfied he's got no bones
Starting point is 00:41:42 doesn't he is that right do you reckon it would fuck me up to find out Krang had a skeleton. Whoa, what shape would that be? That's what I mean. I cannot beat your Krang skeleton. A skull.
Starting point is 00:41:54 Inside a brain? Well, he's got no neck. Yeah. So it would just be a skull with the pincers. What animal has no neck? Frog? Crab? Crab's got an exoskeleton, though. What skeleton animal has no neck? Frog? Crab? Crab's got an exoskeleton, though.
Starting point is 00:42:05 What skeleton animal has no neck? I don't know if a frog. I think a frog has a neck. No. Depending on the frog, it's probably, you know. I think it still has a neck. A bit of a neck. It's like when you see a fat cat or whatever.
Starting point is 00:42:18 It's still got a neck. It's just like... Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just think a frog is... Or an awesomely shaped guy. That's true. Some guys out there that look like they've got no neck, but they've got a little bit of neck.
Starting point is 00:42:29 Let's get a bit of neck. Let's get a dig. Okay, let's each pick a place that we're going to have crying. We'll finalize this once and for all. If not the stomach, where? If not the stomach, yeah. Where are you putting crying? I'm going to say neck.
Starting point is 00:42:43 Neck? Yeah. Why? You're going to have to show you're working there. Because hmm You just said it, you didn't know you've got, you're spinning
Starting point is 00:42:53 your wheels. No, I'm not because then he's kind of close to the head. Yeah, okay. Which is useful. He's kind of at eye height Yep. You still want the expression of the robot, is that as well? Yes, yeah, yeah. I still want the robot head.
Starting point is 00:43:08 Yeah. But Krang's in here. Yeah. Krang can disguise himself. Oh, he put a scarf on? Yeah, exactly. Scarf or, well, I guess just a scarf, bandana. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:17 Okay, sure, yeah. He'll have the vibe of if he wants to smoke cigarettes, like those people that have the hole in their neck because they shouldn't be smoking cigarettes, but smoking cigarettes through that hole. He can. Because the head won't be attached to Krang, the Ninja Turtles might just think it's a guy,
Starting point is 00:43:32 and they punch the head, and the head falls off, and they think they've defeated him. Krang lives another day. They think they're going to jail for murdering a man. Exactly. They think, wow, I am stronger than I thought. I could just punch this man's head off. It's just the head just propped on top of
Starting point is 00:43:46 Krang I guess Krang has to be holding it with his little disgusting hands holding it in place so the guy kind of walks around with a very floppy head but then when he gets punched in the head the head falls off Krang lives another day he's close enough that if he's talking to someone
Starting point is 00:44:02 if somebody's talking to the robot head Krang is there if he needs to to someone, if somebody's talking to the robot head, Krang is there if he needs to leap across in a tower to get down the mountain. It's also easier to read expressions on people's faces. Exactly, exactly. Because Krang has autism, maybe? It's unclear at the end of his who does and doesn't have autism. I think as well, maybe, I said neck,
Starting point is 00:44:22 but maybe if we could make a body where the Krang could go anywhere. Okay, so the hollow body theory. Yeah. That's a very good idea, actually. And maybe, I don't know if the whole body should be clear, like it's made of clear pipes. Well, to get like an Iron Man suit. Yeah. Those are mostly hollow.
Starting point is 00:44:39 He can scutter about. Yeah, that's fair. Yeah, kind of, I guess, like Krang is in like a big mech. Yeah. And he can just go to any part of the body. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe that would be good for Krang. So an Iron Man suit that's fair. Yeah, kind of, I guess, like, Krang is in, like, a big mech. Yeah. And he can just go to any part of the body. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe that would be good for Krang.
Starting point is 00:44:47 So an Iron Man suit that's clear. Do you want it clear or not clear? I like the idea of it clear because I like being able to see what Krang's doing. Yeah. Him, like, slopping around on the inside. Like a shit in a U-Band. Just like a shit in a U-Band. That's so rude.
Starting point is 00:45:02 Flushing Krang! Oh! Oh! Incredible. That's really good. You flush Krang, then you pull a prank on the pl-bend. That's so real. Flushing crank. Oh. Oh, baby. Incredible. That's really good. You flush crank, then you pull a prank on the plumber when crank blocks your plumber. You say, I don't know, man. I don't know what I ate, but something's gone wrong.
Starting point is 00:45:14 And then he finds a dead crank down there. Oh, dead. The guy would like to think he would be alive. Yeah, he's just like screaming. Yeah. I don't know what I ate. I don't know, man. It's not a crank, though. It's just a big shit. It wasn't a crank. I think it's just a shit down. Screaming? Yeah. I don't know what happened to you. I don't know, man. It's not a krang, though.
Starting point is 00:45:26 It's just a big shit. It wasn't a krang. I think it's just a shit dog. Yeah. Yeah, dude, I took a crazy... You're a plumber. You get it. Sometimes you take big shits.
Starting point is 00:45:33 It's funny how a lot of you think krang's going to be alive, and then he's dead, and the plumber just crouched down at your pipe, stood around and held up the dead krang. I'm so sorry. Was this yours? No. Yeah, not mine. I don't know. Who's that? Did you eat this man? No, I thought he was going Was this yours? No. Yeah, not man. I don't know who's that is. Did you eat this man?
Starting point is 00:45:47 No, I thought he was going to jump out at you. I'm very embarrassed right now. Did you kill this man? It's not a man, it's a crank. It was never a man. I think one place we haven't, so you've gone, you're going. I'm going Iron Man, clear Iron Man suit so I can see Crank slough around in there like a shit nigger. I'm going to go, so this is kind of cliche, but I like a novelty hat.
Starting point is 00:46:11 But instead of a camera, it has a Krang. That's really good. Because then it could just look like you're wearing a Krang hat. Like a hat branded with Krang. But he's real. But also I just feel like you can take off a hat, so Krang could probably take himself off for a fight. Yeah. But he's real. But also I just feel like you can take off a hat so Krang could probably take himself off for a fight. Yeah. Or hide.
Starting point is 00:46:27 But if Krang controls the body, does that mean he takes the hat off and the robot just stops? Turtles come up, just wail on the hat. No, no. That's a funny place for Krang. Yeah. I mean, this isn't safe, but I like the idea of the robot
Starting point is 00:46:45 just carrying krang under one arm like a football yeah like a football whatever you know and like he can still talk to the robot yeah control it he doesn't have direct access necessarily might put him up on a shelf if the robot's in a fight so the robot can still move without i think that's necessary but krang can be like i do this that's funny if you put krang in the shelf and then he watches as the robot's destroyed. Then he's going to flop through the dust to get away. That's great. It is also holding him American football style. I can imagine the robot literally running like an American footballer,
Starting point is 00:47:18 like going for a touchdown, one arm out. Exactly. You could slam and Krang into the ground. Could throw Krang. Yes. Quarterback style. He might bounce too. You could slam and crank. Could throw, crank. Yes. Quarterback style. He might bounce, too. You don't know.
Starting point is 00:47:27 Yeah. And then, like, that's a bit of fun for the Turtles as well. Yeah. Because, like, they see that running it and they're like, oh, sweet, we get to play a bit of football. Yeah. A bit of crankball. We would have loved to play football, but we're fucked up teens, so we can't go to normal
Starting point is 00:47:38 school. Born fucked up Turtle guys. Yeah. And, like, our dad, who's a rat, which is also fucked up, he's like, the outside world hates you, so we're not allowed to play fucking football. I'm just so glad Krang wants to play football with us. Then they get Krang and they can boot Krang. Yeah, I think it's sad that no toy company's ever released a Krang like this.
Starting point is 00:47:56 You could have a detachable Krang toy. Build your own Krang. You could do all the things we want to do with Krang with. The moment somebody makes that Krang, there's a million dollars in the bank. Completely great. I mean, you could take an original one and, like, fill it in. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:10 Fill in the Krang hole and then. Oh, that's good. That's a custom job, obviously. Another great Krang merchandise that I would buy, Krang Bomb Bag. Looks like Krang. Oh, that's good. Yeah, yeah. But it's a bomb bag. Yeah, that is good.
Starting point is 00:48:20 And it's, like, wet and stuff. Yeah. And you put your hand in it and it's disgusting. And Krang's in there for real. Oh, no. Oh, my God. Zip it up. I hate that guy.
Starting point is 00:48:29 Who do I tell? You don't tell anyone. Yeah, exactly. I keep that a secret for the rest of my life. I'll get the turtles. Whose voice was that? No Krang's. I'll get the turtles.
Starting point is 00:48:40 I'll kill the turtles. It kind of sounds like it could be Krang. Yeah, I guess if he's in a a bag he's going to sound a bit different do you reckon we've got the world record for the most times anyone said Krang in a podcast
Starting point is 00:48:49 absolutely I think we have I think this is a historic episode do you know sometimes Krang's spelt with a double A Krang Krang
Starting point is 00:48:57 yeah that's just something to think about yeah it is and something that the listeners can take home with them because we've nailed it the best places to
Starting point is 00:49:05 keep crying are either under your arm, in a hat, or in a hollow Iron Man body. That's right. Yeah, I agree. Guts doesn't make sense.
Starting point is 00:49:11 It's stupid. It's a bad place for crying. Yeah, well, on that note, I've been Joe. I've been Jackson. I've been James. And if you liked this,
Starting point is 00:49:19 James. What? James! And if you liked this and you live in the UK and you're like, man, I would really like this even more if I could see them and be like...
Starting point is 00:49:27 Reach out to them from below the stage. Yeah, below the stage? Wow, maybe you've got Krang ideas. Yeah, exactly. You can come to one of our many live podcasts in the UK, which are happening in September. The information was at the start of the episode, so just rewind it.
Starting point is 00:49:41 Or just look at the show notes. Yeah, they're just beneath this episode. That's right. And yeah, come see us. All three of us will be on stage multiple times. When you come to a show, we'll be on stage the whole time, really. Probably. That's true.
Starting point is 00:49:52 We might take a little break to get a drink or take a piss or whatever. Anyway, come to the shows. You can see us in person. Oh, if we leave this stage, you get your money back. Yeah. If any of us leave. No. Saying it now.
Starting point is 00:50:07 Oh, you heard it here first If you want to claim any refunds Just hit up James directly James where can we find you? Don't worry about it Don't worry about it At MrSundayMovies Or you can email TheWeeklyPlanet
Starting point is 00:50:16 At gmail.com You can Thank you so much listeners And let us know Where would you keep your Krang? Where are you putting Krang dude? And what are you getting If you get a Krang in your body you putting Krang, dude? And what are you getting if you get a Krang in your body?
Starting point is 00:50:26 Oh, running Krang over with a steam roll? Oh, Krang! Flang. Lift a lawnmower up and just put it on him. Oh, shredded Krang! Yeah, Shrang! Shrang, dude! Anyway, thank you so much. Sorry that we love to hurt you, Krang. Yeah, Krang.
Starting point is 00:50:42 Sorry, Crang. Yeah, Crang. Sorry, Crang.

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