Plumbing the Death Star - Would Batman's Parents be Proud of him?

Episode Date: August 25, 2014

In which our heroes see how deep Bruce Wayne’s daddy issues really go. We take a close look at Batman’s life through the lens of his parents as we try to see if they would be proud of their baby boy. Revolutionary medical braces are kept behind locked doors as Batman is revealed to be the king of loopholes. Zammit can’t comprehend how a parent could be impressed of their son for faking their own death, Jackson argues that Thomas Wayne would rather the Penguin as a protege and Duscher just wants to know where the bill for the bat credit card goes. Join us for bad Michael Cain impressions, Martha Wayne chiding Bruce for not being Superman and Thomas Wayne as the saddest Riddler you’ll ever see. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Hey, and welcome to another episode of Plumbing the Death Star, where we ask the important questions like, batman's parents be proud of him okay so i was watching dark knight rises and there's one scene in it that kind of just didn't sit well with me and it's not just because i kind of have you know chronic back pain and sort of muscular injuries that i'm like you can't punch a back better batman he does do that I'm like, you can't punch your back better, Batman. He does do that. He does. And he's like, you know what fixes back pain? Rope.

Rope and punching. It's the Batman way. Is there one scene where he goes to the doctor and goes like, okay, fair enough. He might have had like a slipped disc and maybe a bit of pressure. Yeah, yeah. All right.

But there's one bit where he goes to the doctor. He's like, hey, doc, can I go have a ski? And he's like, we've got these results back. You have zero cartilage in your knee, like zero. Not even like a little bit. Now we're going to ski again. It's just bone, just crunching on bone. You're fucked. And Batman, rather than go, yeah, that would explain

why I can't walk properly, the immense inflammation and pain I'm in, but alright, just sort of gets up and hobbles off, goes back to his Wayne manner, just boop, boop, boop, opens up a safe, and suddenly he's got a lovely brace there. He just whacks that on, and he can not just walk without a limp, and I'm guessing without pain, but also can kick through a wall.

Now, if someone with no cartilage can kick through a wall in the space of maybe five minutes of putting on a brace, that's really impressive. So that's great for Batman. Good on him. What a champ. Bruce Wayne, him what a champ Bruce Wayne clever yeah genius some might say but well it's greatest detective very much so he he saw the problem of no cartilage and and sleuthed away out of it yeah but sneaky sneaky sneaky way even learn medicine that school but... But probably from his dad.

Yeah. We don't really know much about his dad, but we do know that at least his dad was a surgeon and somewhat of an entrepreneur and whatnot. So he's got this technology which can kind of cure osteoarthritis like that. Yeah. And he just has it in a safe. And his dad, again, doctor,

that could have helped out a lot of people. And so it just got me kind of thinking, would his parents be kind of happy with how Bruce has turned out? Because we don't know the reason why Bruce is Batman. He's, in a sense, to somewhat do his parents proud. Well, it's a bad way to deal with grief, but he's dealing with grief poorly.

Vengeance. Vengeance. It just made me look at the whole, whatuce wayne is doing and the reason for it and in a new light of like would his parents actually be kind of happy with him well i mean decisions he's made i mean like you know i mean batman's he saves lives that's true like i'm sure you know thomas wayne would be happy that batman's saving. That's true, but like Batman, again, the first rule of like a doctor is, you know, do no harm. Hippocratic oath. Yeah.

Batman does a lot of harm. But he does say, look, I'm not going to kill anyone, which I think Thomas Wayne would be like, oh, that's, you know, I'm very proud of the fact that you don't kill anyone, but someone who he says doesn't kill anyone, he certainly puts people in a position where they die. And then, no, he certainly puts people in a position where they die.

And then, no, he just puts them in a position where they get injured so that he gives doctors something to do. That's true. Also, no, no, no, back to that. I reckon Thomas Wayne has accidentally killed more people than Batman. He's a surgeon. It happens. Yeah, but that's just stats. Part of the job.

Part of it. Yeah. I mean, you can't save everyone, but he's not actively like, you know, hey, Batman or Bruce, kill this farmer because he did some shit and he needs to pay. Batman, I can't kill him. Instead, I'm going to set the hell place on fire, killing all of you and probably the guy in chains. Yeah.

But I didn't kill him. Fire killed him. Batman has saved more people in Gotham, like, overall. And he saved Gotham itself enough times that his dad would probably be still proud. I mean, like, the medical brace, his dad would probably be like, Bruce, come on, man, don't be a dick. No, back to the medical brace. In my eyes, because it's in a safe,

and because he'd never put it on prior to going to the doctor, it's not like he's just like... Well, you don't know that. I mean, he probably has because he... But why did he go to the doctor then? Did he go to the doctor so he could like laugh under his breath? I don't know. I have a brace. Because there's a brace that's been designed for something.

Right? Yeah, no. See, what I assume when I watch that scene is that the brace is a prototype. Yeah. He's never put it on and I reckon that his dad probably invented it. Why didn't his dad bring it out before, though? Because his dad died, and it's a prototype. It's a prototype.

Hang on. I understand we're prototyping. How long has Thomas Wayne been dead? 20 years? 20 years. Wait a minute. If it's a talk about rice, it's like 35. Let's just say 30 years, then, which makes it even worse,

because that means that Thomas Wayne had the technology to create this 30 years ago, that Bruce has just been left in a fucking safe. Maybe Thomas Wayne just doesn't care, maybe Thomas Wayne is equally as negligent, so he's like, yeah, good on you, Batman, keep it to yourself. I'm proud of you. Don't help those pricks with no fucking cartilage, fuck them. Thomas Wayne is in the very elite of Gotham, so he could just be a rich dick. I mean, what actual evidence do we have that Thomas Wayne was ever a good guy?

A monorail. Monorail. He built a sick-ass monorail. Well, if we look in the comics again, he was this sort of person. He was a surgeon. He was good. He helped out the fucking Falcone crime family

that's true he did like twice he always like gives them a hand and they're like give you a favor and he's like I don't want it

but I think Batman takes them up on the favor later yeah which I guess is another strike against Batman but also a strike

against Tom it's a strike against the whole Wayne family also how did Batman take up that with the he's like

I'm Batman my father I mean my fuck? He's like, I'm Batman. My father, I mean, my friend, so I'm Wayne. My friend's dad. You don't know him. He's from Canada. That is a good point. What the fuck? God damn it, Bamyan. That's completely unrelated, but it always, that always, like, things like that always

bring me back to the Bat credit card. Where does the bill go? Where does the bill go? Joel Schumacher, I can look past every dumb thing bat credit card. Where does the bill go? Where does the bill go? Joel Schumacher. I can look past every dumb thing in that movie. Where does the bat credit card bill go? Does it go into Bruce Wayne's account? Does that mean the whole... By a bat-themed fucking knife. The accountant's like, hmm, Bruce.

I'm going to put two and two together here right now. You're Robin. You motherfucker. Who's Batman? knife the accountant's like hmm bruce i'm gonna put two and two together here right now you're robin you motherfucker who's batman tell me tell me i need to know you're robin you've been buying things for batman batman too poor condoed himself all right so i think yeah the knee brace i think that's a strike against that could be struck against both both the ways now let's be honest but thomas what he was such a lovely guy that like he'd understand i think he'd understand batman's plan and plight i think if you switch the positions thomas wayne would have done exactly the same thing no i'm pretty sure thomas wayne would have

put that into development pretty quick i mean if bruce wayne had been shot by the mugger thomas wayne would have sworn vengeance as well. I think Thomas Wayne wasn't someone who was like vengeance. I think he was more of a nicer person. He was Uncle Ben. Great power comes great responsibility. Turn the other cheek, you know, that kind of thing. Which is why I think he was like this whole

no violence kind of stuff, which is again part of being a doctor, maybe? Although, the parallel, at least in the Nolan universe, is that Bruce Wayne is not really like Thomas Wayne, but fucking Harvey Dent is. The white knight of Gotham.

You push a good man so far, he's the villain. So you kill Thomas Wayne's kid, you reckon he becomes Two-Face? Or at least the Riddler. Lower tier. Yeah, lower tier. All his, like,

crimes, just the answer is a dead child. Or he just, like, he's the, a surgeon mastermind villain. He just does bad surgery.

Yeah, like Hush. Like, you know the villain Hush? Yeah. Whose superpower is plastic surgery? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not a

superpower. That's a skill. That's a medical skill. It's just is plastic surgery. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not a superpower. That's a skill. That's a medical skill. It's just criminal negligence. Yeah. So could I argue the answer will probably be no, that Thomas Wayne would be prouder if the penguin had been his son

than if Bruce was. Oh, go on. Because the penguin doesn't kill people. Does it he? I did say bombs kill people, and the penguin definitely uses a lot of bombs. And penguin bombs. Bombs strapped to penguins kill people and penguins.

Okay, all right. I was wrong. Okay, but no, but in terms of running a company, penguin's better than Bruce Wayne. Also wrong. Iceberg Lounge, Penguin runs it pretty sweet. Thomas Bruce Wayne never fucking does a thing for his company. Also embezzles as well. Embezzles the shit out of it.

Kind of, maybe the Penguin's a little bit more honest than Bruce Wayne. I guess the Penguin doesn't have a double life. He's just like, I'm the Penguin. Hey, what up? I'm the penguin hey what up I'm the penguin I mostly do financial crime and I really care about my employees occasionally I poison a water supply I got them healthcare

they're fine you notice the penguin thugs aren't like you know a penguin doesn't send them out with like the joker sends out his thugs with like joker gas and like the scarecrows penguins like just chill in the lounge batman comes see if you can do something about it no pressure yeah they're like hey batman will give you money but like no i'll punch you in the face like that was uncalled for come on man i'm a goddamn penguin stop punching me in the penguins the worst villain he's the greatest villain and he's the true hero of Gotham City. Both of those statements are just flat

out incorrect. He's the hero Gotham deserves. Maybe. He's certainly at the end of the day a better businessman than Bruce Wayne. Oh, definitely. Wayne Enterprises does better than the Iceberg Lounge. If Thomas Wayne was looking for a protege and he had to choose between Bruce Wayne

and the Penguin... Never choose like the Cyan. Penguin. Never choose the Scion. No. Always go with someone who has proven themselves. If I was like, I need a CEO, and someone showed me Bruce Wayne and the Penguin, I'd look at the Penguin and I'd be like, he looks after his people.

Yeah. He runs a successful business. Blows up and murders people. What was Cobblepot... Don't shake your head at that. What was Cobblepot... What was he born into? He was born into nothing. Was he born into Squalor? Yeah, he was born into Squalor and he was Cobblepot what was he born into he was born into nothing

was he born into squalor yeah he was born into squalor and he built himself up wasn't he born he was not born into penguins no wasn't he wasn't he born into sewer that makes it even better

he was born into literal shit I'm just basing this off the that guy's movie you know that one that every yeah but yeah I'm pretty sure the penguin's

born into sewer but that's so great yeah alligators no alligators and we've got bruce wayne born with the silver spoon in his mouth and what does he spend his time doing yachting around like a playboy little piece of shit women and potentially men who knows well george clooney did come out and say that he was like i portrayed batman as gay. Every writer who writes a Batman is gay. Every editor is like, no, no, he's masculine. Very straight. Look at all his women

he loves and he beats up and look at his sexy muscles. So, alright, perhaps Thomas Wayne wouldn't be more proud of the Penguin. No. But he would use the Penguin as a protege. Definitely. So getting off the... Let's go back to the penguin as a protege. Definitely, definitely. Okay, so getting off the...

Going back to... Let's go back to the penguin for one last thing. One last thing for penguin. No. Now we can carry on. All right. So in the other things I was watching and going, would Bruce's parents care?

At the very end when he's like... Just flat out fakes his own death. Yeah. Again, I just don't think his parents would be happy with that self sacrifice proud of my son but he fakes self sacrifice

no he sacrifices Batman and sacrifices his entire life in Gotham killing off Batman that makes sense Batman needed to quote quote die but killing off Bruce Wayne that was just. Yeah, Batman needed to quote-unquote die. But killing off Bruce Wayne? That was just like... You'd be grieving a son that... They're already dead, so it doesn't matter.

If they were alive, though, they'd be like, clearly my son isn't going to run the company anyway. Yeah. So what, you have a kid? All the kid is for is running a company? No, you would miss your son. No, but if his parents were still alive,

he wouldn't have faked his own death. Because that's not the question. The question is would they be proud that he faked his own death? I would say no. Okay, we'll say hypothetically that they are dead, but they're watching from hell. Child murderers. Especially topless.

Well done fact. Watching from hell. Yeah. I think they'll probably understand. I don't even really understand why they would kill Bruce Wayne. Because of all the things that happened. Like Bane targeted Bruce Wayne. It made him look like a criminal,

which is not what Wayne Enterprises should represent. He kind of did it for the good of the company. In a way. But he got asked from for the good of the company, in a way. But he got asked from the company. No, no, no, but he did it for the good of the company and, like, the good of Gotham, because Wayne Enterprises is meant to be one of those companies that's like, hey... Let's be honest, Sam, name another company

that is successful in Gotham, and you can't say the Iceberg Lounge. Maximus's... Maxi Zeus's... Also Nightclub. Awesome Nightclub. What is with criminals running nightclubs? Maximus' Maxi Zeus' awesome nightclub what is with criminals running nightclubs? I don't know, but I love the amount of criminals in Gotham that are like, legitimate businesses

Wayne Enterprises has everything else covered monorails, leg braces what else do you need? there's no Wayne Enterprise nightclub it's your only option leg braces on monorails you're fine I think Bruce, people price nightclub. It's your only option, I guess. Leg braces on monorails, you're fine.

No, I think, because, okay, Bruce, people who are targeting Bruce Wayne, Batman. Bane. Bane. Like, they know that Bruce Wayne is Batman. Rajagul. Batman is dead, but Bruce Wayne is there, but Bane and Rajagul die in the film?

Does Bane die? I don't really remember. Talia doesn't die in the film? Does Bane die? I don't really remember. Talia doesn't, doesn't she? Someone gets shot in the face. Lazarus pits. Someone gets stabbed in the Lazarus pits. Lazarus pits hasn't been established in this one.

As you just said, you're just watching the film. You will remember that Bane gets shot by the Batcycle, which Catwoman is on. Oh yeah, no guns, but my bike has guns. It's like, yeah, I always... That's confusing.

Batman's like the king of loopholes, isn't he? No, because he's all about loopholes. I'm not killing this guy. He's kind of like how Simba is like, I'm not killing Scar, but i'm leaving scar to get yeah it's like i'm not killing you but the train is killing yeah he's like i'm not killing you but my bike has guns and if those guns shoot you what kind of the bike wasn't it i always found that so weird because yeah like i could i've had people argue with me that's like ah the guns are to

clear rubble and stuff i'm like okay but then what why does he shoot cars with them and if he shoots a car and it explodes yeah sure he's not like i'm gonna kill that guy but you are yeah clearly manslaughter if you have if you have very very very good lawyers you might get away with manslaughter i'm gonna get a gun and i'm just gonna start shooting in the general vicinity over there and if a bullet just happens to penetrate your body, that's on you. I'm going to build a robot

that shoots dudes. If he shoots dudes, what? That's not me. What's a robot doing? Guys? Batman. Batman. Yeah, with a Batman symbol on it. World's greatest detective, world's greatest finder of loopholes. Yeah. Well, you know, he's a clever guy. Not even clever loopholes.

I don't kill people. He killed a guy. He's like, ah. Technically, the fire killed him and I am not fire. A guy died because of me. How could I have killed him? You can argue I'm negligent. Not a murderer.

Yeah. Well, yeah. Anyway, okay, so Bane gets shot. Bane gets shot. you don't actually see him die but you're assuming that if these bullets can blow up a car probably blow up a bane yeah talia al ghul however yeah you could argue is not dead league of shadows man they are fucking like cockroaches they'll come back and back and also she dies from a car crashing that's hardly a superillain death.

Her death scene is probably the dumbest thing in that entire film. There's many dumb things in that film. She's like, I'm dying, I'm dying. What about the fact that Bane buys a plane to crash just because I guess it'll look neat at the start? That's kind of the only reason he does that whole thing, just it's cool. No, isn't it to fake a dude's death? Yeah, Peter Baelish, well, who he's protecting. Whatever. Whatever. Dumb. Dumb. that whole thing just it's cool no isn't it to fake some dude it's a fake a dude's death yeah peter bayliss well who is protecting whatever whatever dumb dumb uh elaborate too elaborate very very elaborate but yeah okay fair enough these people they know who they know who batman

and bruce wayne are yeah the same person but if bayne is in theory dead and Talia is like hates the Wayne family with just a burning passion there. I think even if Bruce is dead she'll be like oh he left all this money to an orphanage she like Bruce Wayne really helped pump money back into Gotham. She hates Wayne she doesn't hate orphans. Jesus.

I reckon she would. She's evil but she's not that evil. You think she's going to go after All the orphans No Actually no No way Cause she's an orphan now Yeah man

Yeah no Fuck you That would never happen I think she would be Well then maybe the orphans But fuck at least Bruce Wayne's legacy And I think she would be

So she'll go after She'll go after Gotham Batman again Because Robin is now Batman Yeah And then And then win Because Robin is

Did she know Batman was Bruce Wayne? Yes. Yeah. Alright. So I think... But then wouldn't it have been better if Bruce Wayne maybe didn't fake his own death? Yeah, but then he just gets killed by Dahlia.

Well, not really. Then he's just like, oh, I'm not Batman anymore now. I'm just a crippled man. Yeah, but he's not crippled, though. He's Batman. I'm sure if he has one brace He's giving it to fucking new Batman Isn't he? If he has one brace, he's not sitting there

With the brace While fucking Robin comes in and is like I hurt my leg, can I? I don't think so And he just kicks a hole In the table he's sitting at At least give it to Alfred Isn't Alfred a little crippled?

He's just getting on in you. He's getting on in you. He could do with it. He could do with a Lazarus pit. Does he only have one brace? So if Batman had lost the cartilage in both his legs, would he have just been like, I'm never going back?

No, legs don't work that way unless it's genetic. How do you even lose all the cartilage in your leg? By dressing up as Batman and fighting crime. Lots of spelunking and hella carry. Although Batman's only Batman like four times in the Nolan films.

How does he lose all his cartilage so fast? Maybe he is genetically disposed to like having really shitty knees so probably for the best if he just stops being Batman. Yeah, I think

like at the end of the day. No, it looks like self-sacrifice but really it's like I'm too old for this shit. I'm too old for this shit. I'm gonna get... Which makes, I think, like, at the end of the day... No, it looks like self-sacrifice, but really it's like, I'm too old for this shit. I'm too old for this shit. I'm gonna get... Which makes, I think... I think I would pick it.

If I was Bruce's parents, I'm like, mmm, mmm, Bruce, you're kind of half-arsing this. But that's the same thing! Like, Thomas is like, I died, and then I left my legacy to Bruce,

who did a very good job, because fuck all your arguments. And then Bruce is like, I am... Yeah, and with Bane, like, it scares him, because he is like, I am... Yeah, and with Bane, it scares him because he's like, I am not strong enough

to deal with up-and-coming bad dudes. Joseph Gordon-Levitt's Robin, however, he'll be fine. I think I thought... He's an orphan. I'm an orphan.

That's true. And as we all know, orphans are great at martial arts. They just learn it better than anyone else. I don't know why. Orphan magic. No, it's basically God just offsetting the fact that you have no parents.

It's like no parents. Rough. Rad martial arts skills, though. I know we've been looking at Thomas Wayne, but I just want to now have a shift to Martha Wayne. I don't know what Martha Wayne is. Who is just a mother. Now, so Martha Wayne, looking at Bruce,

he's putting himself in these positions where he's somewhat getting in danger, getting beaten up regularly. But if I was Martha Wayne and I looked down and I'm like... I would be concerned. But if I'm like, holy shit, this guy has kept the city, you know, in... But he's my baby. But he's saved everyone. I'll be Martha. You be Bruce.

Wait, no, no. Before we go into this, I'm just going to get a little deeper than the actual storyline here. The reason that Martha Wayne isn't characterized in anything is because her voice and Alfred's voice would be exactly the same. What? An old British Michael Caine? No, no, no. Michael Caine. I love you. I love you, Bruce. Stop it.

Bruce, you're my little baby boy. My love for you is as big as a tangerine. Go on. No, I mean like the things he's saying, like... Come to your mother. Rock-a-bye, baby, in the treetops. Tangerine, tangerine. Michael Caine.

She was only 19. Yeah, I know that. Yeah, okay. She just sounds like Michael Caine. I didn't mean that, like, he mean that he is a fatherly figure, even though his parents are dead, but he takes the role of a motherly figure. That's not what I meant at all.

What did you mean? No, that's... Go on. No, I just meant that she sounds like Michael Caine, obviously. That's what we got! Oh, you guys. No, that's my bad. I relied on sarcasm there, and it just fucked me.

We thought it was funnier to do Michael Caine impressions. And frankly, it was. It was pretty good. It was pretty good. But, alright, so this goes. I'll be Martha Caine being Michael Caine. Alright? Martha Caine? Sorry, Martha Wayne being Michael Cain. Alright? Martha Cain?

Sorry, I'll be Martha Wayne being Michael Cain. You be Bruce. Alright. Come on. Alright. I'll be a confused bicep. Come on, Bruce. What's going on?

I'm your mother. Mum. Mum, where are you? I'll be Thomas Wayne. Me and your mother love you so much, Bruce. Mum and Dad. The fact of the matter is that if I don't stop pain, no one will. But I'm your mother.

I really care about you. You can always join my surgery, son. I don't know how that's going to help the city, frankly, Dad. Fuck it. Let's just go to Metropolis. Thank you for that. I'm pleased. I'll trade you.

I don't know how surgery is going to stop Bay. Or the League of Sh- Oh, the Joker. We could amputate his legs, son. We could. Bruce, like, I care about you. I mean, every time you put the suit on, you basically get punched in the face. But I have to put the good of Gotham above the good of myself.

But you're my baby. I would hope that you would always- You're my baby. Cut the apron strings, mom. No. I'm 35. You're my baby. This is sad.

Don't get beaten up. I have another kid. Is Dad barren? Is that what's going on? Jesus, Dad. Am I even your son? No. Alfred's your real dad.

It's true. It's true. My dick's as big as a tangerine. You're my baby boy. You're my baby boy. You're my baby boy. When you were born, you were as big as a tangerine. You really have to stop comparing everything to a tangerine, Alfred. Nope.

I like that your Michael Caine accent there just disappeared. It only works for certain words. Oh, tangerine. Not even. Halfway through that, tangerine was just turned, tangerine Not even, half way through that Tangerine just turned into tangerine I never once claimed I was good at doing a Michael Caine impression Frankly, I regretted

The moment I said it Four out of ten Point is That's still pretty good That's close to a pass I think I provided a serviceable explanation's close to a pass. I think I did provide a serviceable explanation, though. If your mum and dad were like, hey, just

do surgery instead, you'd be like, Zabane, I got a car, can't stop him. Well, you don't, because Catwoman's the one that stopped him. You got stabbed in that situation, you dumb idiot. Dad, why? Okay, Thomas, look, Gotham is shit. how about this we just no i'm

i'm doing my best here martha i want a divorce let's go to metropolis lane bruce can be raised in metropolis i know yes he's 35 i understand this but i love him and he's my son well established as batman see son this is the stuff i have to put up with every day come on let's all just move to metropolis it's a lot nicer. And they have Superman. Hmm? I'm the fuck, Mum. Superman. Sorry, Bruce, but he's an alien and clearly better at doing his job than you.

I'm really offended. I mean, okay. Okay, Bruce. Bruce. Bruce. There's a giant meteor coming and what are you doing? I've got to stop. What are you doing?

How are you going to stop? How are you going to stop? Uh-huh. And the meteorite's still coming, Bruce. What are you going to do? Know what I'm going to do? I'm going to call up Superman and be like, hey, Superman, it's Batman's mum. There is a meteorite coming. Can you stop it? Bruce is just going to tell everyone his parents are dead anyway now. Why are you

Batman? Parents died. I was disappointed in you before, but now I'm even more disappointed in you. Why is Bruce's mom so mean? Yeah, it doesn't make sense. Poor Bruce. I'm kind of glad she died, though. Kind of hate her.

Yeah. Thomas, I feel bad for Thomas, really. If he has to put up with that. Yeah, man. Breaking his balls every opportunity. He's like, fine, I'll build a fucking monorail just leave me alone he's like I can't get from the Wayne Manor to the shops

build me a monorail okay oh my god should have gone to Metropolis nah Metropolis is shit Metropolis always seemed like too good I'm sus of it nah it's super boring even their villains are boring fuck that

and Thomas Wayne probably proud of his son like too good I'm sus of it nah it's super boring even the villains are boring fuck that fuck that and Thomas Wayne probably proud of his son Martha Wayne maybe not not so proud bitter bitter woman

probably wanted more from life married like an entrepreneur got like a surgeon who donated all his money to fucking charity yep had a kid

then died rough life rough times for Martha Wayne yeah no but fuck Metropolis yeah fuck it Had a kid, then died. What a life. Rough, tough, but my other way. Yeah, no, but fuck Metropolis. Yeah. Oh, fuck it. Even its villains are boring.

Do we even... Krang? That's just Ninja Turtles. Galactus? Splinter. Yeah, Splinter. Splinter Cell. Tom Clancy.

Tom Clancy's the big villain. Anyway. The point is, Batman is there for Gotham. Splinter Cell Tom Clancy Tom Clancy's the big villain Anyway Point is Batman is there for Gotham The same way that fucking Thomas Wayne was there for Gotham Exactly the same way And as Thomas Wayne in this situation I'm quite proud of my son I regret my marriage

But I'm proud of my son Martha just bitter of like I tried to marry someone He was gonna be like a CEO Donated all his money to charity like a punce. Then she had a kid and died. The Martha Wayne story is far more tragic

than the Bruce Wayne one. Are we all happy that Thomas and Martha died? I'm getting away from this. That's probably not the right word. Are we glad? Static is probably closer to how I feel. Batman, better off.

To be honest. Alfred, much better parent. Way better. Orphan magic and Alfred. Win-win. Oh man, living the goddamn dream. That's a twofer. Right there. Alright, so Thomas Wayne, proud. Marth Wayne, who cares? Batman, good hero.

I've been Joel. I've been Jackson. I've been Joel. And Bruce, maybe donate that leg brace to science. And hey, faking your own death, not the best solution. If you think this show is worth at least a dollar, why not donate to our Patreon account? Follow the links on our website, sanspantsradio.com.