Plumbing the Death Star - Would You Go On a Second Date With Blink 182 Based On The Events Of The Song First Date? (Ft. Andrew Levins)
Episode Date: June 2, 2019Sign up to our newsletter here; http://eepurl.com/cM3in9Join our facebook group here; https://www.facebook.com/groups/535280830149669/Check out our upcoming lives shows right here; http://www.sanspant...sradio.com/live/Watch us stream here; https://www.twitch.tv/sanspantsradioYou can now physically send us stuff to PO BOX 7127, Reservoir East, Victoria, 3073Theme music by the wonderfully talented Benny Davis! You can find all his stuff at his website https://bennydavismusic.com or check out his YouTube https://youtube.com/bennythejukeboxWant to help support the show?Sanspants+: https://sanspantsplus.comPodkeep: https://sanspantsradio.podkeep.comUSB Tapes: https://audiobooksontape.comMerch: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/sanspantsradioWant to get in contact with us?Email: sanspantsradio@gmail.comTwitter: https://twitter.com/sanspantsradioWebsite: http://www.sanspantsradio.comFacebook: https://facebook.com/SanspantsRadioReddit: https://reddit.com/r/sanspantsradioOr individually at;Jackson: https://twitter.com/AlldogsaredeadDuscher: https://twitter.com/dusch13Zammit: https://twitter.com/GoddammitZammit Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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that's twitch.tv slash sans pants radio every sunday from 7 p.m hey everyone and welcome to
this week's episode of plumbing the death star where we ask the important questions like would
you go on a second date with blink 182 based on the events of the song first date First Date.
All right.
So are we assuming we've been on a date with Blink-182?
Well, if you look at the song First Date.
Yeah.
First Date, Blink-182.
It's a song that's on Take Off Your Pants and Jacket.
It was a successful single, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
Great, great, great.
The lyrics of that song talk about a first date,
but they're from the perspective that the first date has happened.
Okay.
They kind of re-
like talk about the events of the first date.
It slips between like future and present tense.
Oh, man.
Don't worry about that.
Yeah, yeah.
No, no, no, no, no.
It was just so-
like it happened.
The date happened. Okay, but this was the date. It was just so, like, it happened.
The date happened.
Okay.
But this was the date.
Yeah.
We've got to figure out how it went.
So, first of all, we're in our house getting ready.
You can tell because at the start of the song,
Blink-182 are in the car.
They just can't wait.
It's nice that Blink-182 is excited. To date all four of them.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They can't wait.
They're excited.
Are we critiquing them on their first date as well?
Sorry, our collective first date
Well, yeah, because basically, I guess
We are on a first date with Blink-182
This is how it went
And then we decide if we want to go on a second date
In Endgame, when Thanos snaps his hands
How many members of Blink-182 are still around?
They are lucky and all of them
Yeah, so it's a reverse Hawkeye situation
All of Blink-182 survive
Green Day unfortunately all snapped
People are like
Was that intentional?
I've never heard of either
And then they were like you will
And then it was a whole thing
He can't wait
It's cool that a podcast is dating a bean
That's cool
That's two concepts. That's cool.
That's two concepts dating.
That's all right.
Like we all know I love it when a band dies.
A whole band dies.
Because a whole band can die.
How cool is that?
That happened kind of recently.
There was a car accident.
A band didn't release one album, but we're going to get real big.
They all died.
The band is dead.
The individuals are dead, yes, but also the band died.
When the last two Beatles cock it, that's the Beatles dead.
They died.
That's awesome.
Anyway, so now a band is dating a podcast. Hey, want to hear something wild?
Plumbing the Death Star can also die.
It can die.
If we all get hit with a piece of rebar at once.
Dead.
We're gone.
That's Plumbing the Death Star, the podcast, the concept.
No, it's just the podcast.
It's like a network.
That rules. I love that. Anyway, so podcasters went on a date with a band. That's probably the death star, the podcast, the concept. No, no, it's not just the podcast. It's like a network. That rolls.
I love that.
Anyway, so podcasters went on a date with a band.
That's exciting.
That's what I'm getting at.
They went to pick us up.
Yeah.
They were.
So he's in the car.
Okay.
The band can drive.
I'm liking that.
That's cool.
That's hot.
So they got a car.
That's good.
I got to get places.
They're picking us up on our very first date.
Yeah.
Then jumps forward because presumably we're in the car
Is it cool if I hold your hand?
Mate, not while you're driving
Don't be a coward
Just go for it a little bit
Don't ask me is it cool if I hold your hand
Just fucking do it
No, don't take your hand off the wheel
You can drive one hand
It's actually about to get much worse
And then We have an argument.
I guess Jackson argues with them about trying to hold his hand
whilst they're driving.
Pay attention to the road.
Three steering wheels in this car.
You can drive with one hand.
I know you can.
You can drive with your knees.
It's fine.
I have seen Joel Zammett eat spaghetti and drive.
It's good for you.
Okay.
Sure.
It passes so many health regulations is this conversation happening in the car
with blink 182 is it wrong if I think
it's lame to dance well in the car yes
I just like oh no
no no no hang on it's right to think
it's lame to dance in the car yeah but if you're
going somewhere where it's like a club or something
and you don't want to dance fuck that yeah
dance what are you doing you coward anyone who is like too cool to dance's like a club or something and you don't want to dance, fuck that. Yeah, dance. What are you doing, you coward?
Anyone who is too cool to dance at like a...
Fuck you.
Let's go see everyone listening.
At a restaurant.
Get up. Just dance.
The women just won't care.
Watching a film? Get up in the middle of the aisle.
Just dance. No one will mind.
Actually, that's a good point, Levins,
because it kind of implies later in the song
that they are at a restaurant.
That's weird.
Why is he thinking about dancing?
Is this conversation happening in the car?
Because immediately Blink-182 is just telling me all of their insecurities.
And that's a bad beginning to a day.
Do you like my stupid hair?
Okay.
I hadn't even sat down.
I hadn't even thought about it.
I put down my spaghetti I was going to eat in the car,
and now I'm looking at your car.
So you get into the car with someone that you're not sure about,
it's the first date with them, and their first question to you is...
Is it cool if I hold your hand?
No, do you like my stupid hair?
Well, clearly you don't like my stupid hair.
You think it's stupid.
Or it's like, well, I actually liked your hair, and now am I stupid?
Yeah.
Or are you making me second guess your hair?
What'd you get?
Is the band Blink-182 trying to neg themselves?
Can you do a self-neg?
Gotta fall in love with them more, because I've made myself feel terrible.
That's a confusing move.
Would you guess that I didn't know what to wear?
Well, now I am.
This is the kind of thing where I've sat down.
I'm not even looking at Blink 182.
I'm not even thinking about it.
He's like, do you think my hair is stupid?
And I look up and I'm like, yeah.
Do you think I don't know how to dress?
Oh, my God, yes.
We're all wearing, like, suits and ties.
We're ready to go.
And then Blink 182 are dressed are dressed up in like Star Wars costumes.
Or like Sk8er Boi gear.
That I didn't know what to wear.
Be like, well, it's pretty cool.
Yeah, I can tell you had no idea what to wear.
I'm wearing my robe.
Okay.
What?
All right.
The next line makes, well, the next two lines make it seem like
that this conversation hasn't happened in the car,
but we've gotten to a restaurant and they've blurted all of this out
as we try.
This is a very awkward car ride.
It's like, is my hair stupid?
Are my clothes?
I'm like, I'm looking at the road to the window.
I'm like, you know what?
The seven seats at the front?
It's a bus.
I'm just scared of what you think.
You make me nervous so I really can't eat.
Well, then now I'm going to look like a piece of shit eating food.
That seems weird as well in the car. It's like, you make me nervous so I really can't eat. Well, then now I'm going to look like a piece of shit eating food. That seems weird as well in the car.
It's like, you make me nervous so I really can't eat.
So we're all in.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, I assumed it was the four of us.
So we all got in the car.
Blink-182 were collectively driving us somewhere.
We're all in the car.
A band is dating a podcast.
Yeah, and it rules.
Blink-182 are each sitting on each other's laps,
holding a steering wheel and we're doing the same in the passenger seat
with one seatbelt stretched laboriously over the front of all four of us.
All right.
We're safe.
Have any of us, are the red flags red?
Are the flags red enough for us to jump out of the car yet?
Or are we still with this?
Is anyone bailing at this point on the date?
I just think he's a little bit of a piss baby,
as in Blink-182, the pan.
Blink-182 are a little bit of a piss baby as in blink 182. Blink 182 are a little bit of a piss baby.
I'm currently thinking, well, they're not eating.
I'm going to get a meal out of this at least.
Where are we going?
Have we established that?
It's just like the only,
we get clues in the verse that I guess we're going to a restaurant,
but then also they talk about dance.
So maybe it's like, maybe it's a dinner to dance.
Yeah.
Maybe it's like a honky tonk restaurant.
Maybe it's like,
you eat some fried wings
and then you do a square dance.
182 is taking us to,
that rules, I'm back in.
Imagine if all of Blink-182
took you to Dracula,
which is this weird,
spooky cabaret restaurant in Melbourne.
Do you know anyone in your entire life that's ever eaten there?
No.
Yes.
I used to date someone who worked there.
What kind of food do they serve at Dracula's?
Not good.
I imagine bain-marie food.
Kind of.
It's almost like wedding food,
as in you kind of get either the steak or the chicken
and they kind of alternate.
And so you're like, I don't like this.
Can I change with you?
And you can.
And they do it for all three courses.
I was sort of imagining the main meal was bad spaghetti.
That's kind of the food I imagine you get at Dracula's.
I have eaten there once.
I went as a work party and it was one of the worst work parties
I've ever been to.
And I got underage drunk maybe.
That sounds like Dracula's.
Didn't it close?
I thought it closed.
Yeah, it closed and now there's just witches,
britches around.
I thought that one also got closed.
We had two.
All of Australia's spooky cabaret restaurants
are in Melbourne.
It's bizarre.
For some reason there was enough of a demand
that they popped up.
There was a peak, I I guess in the 90s
One of them had like a little roller coaster to come in
That's alright I like that
That's great
Yeah
Weird
So the next line is confusing
Because now Blink-182 have played the dates
Nearly done and we just got here
Let's go don't wait
What?
What are this?
What?
We're getting out of the car
This night's almost over
What?
Did we just get to this honky tonk restaurant?
So the night's almost over, but honest, let's make this night last forever.
Forever and ever.
Forever and ever.
There's going to be a lot of that in this episode.
We'll remember how the song goes and then sing it to ourselves.
I'm singing it to you guys.
Everyone else isn't allowed to listen.
Singing is just for us.
There's a red flag.
I barely know this guy.
This band.
I barely know this band.
I've heard of them.
What album is this on again?
Take off your pants and jacket.
I'm very aware of this band.
It's fine.
I don't even know if Plumbing the Death Star is ready to date. You know what I mean?
Especially someone this needy straight off the bat and also you know
feel like this is the first day yeah it's a bit much first day let's make this night last forever
and ever if sorry if the if the if the band is asking me these questions of like if i can is it
cool if i hold your hand yeah smell my hair oh it's so stupid oh look i didn't know what to wear. Stupid, stupid. I'd be like, Blink-182, stop hitting yourself.
Fuck.
Look, I'm...
Also, it's weird.
It's a red flag.
I'm like, look, we might get two meals out of this, but I'm worried.
You're playing, fingers crossed.
Give me some chicken wings.
Blink-182, even on the most perfect date night, are like,
hey, I want to make this night last forever.
How many nights do you think you have in you?
To spend with Blink-182.
You like Tom DeLonge?
I can give you. Oh, you would love Tom
DeLonge, Jack. He thinks aliens
are real and he wants to go to
Mars or something. Is Elon
Musk going to let him go to Mars?
Great question.
You should ask Tom DeLonge. He'll probably- I might tweet Elon Musk. Are you going to ask Tom DeLonge
He'll probably
I might tweet Elon Musk
Are you going to let Tom DeLonge go to space or what?
He wants to
Let him do it
I'll tag Tom DeLonge
Break up with Grimes and date us
And Blink-182
Come on
We're in a polyamorous relationship
With a band and a company
SpaceX Blink-182 and plumbing the nester Come on. We're in a polyamorous relationship with a band and a company.
SpaceX, Blink-182 and Plumbing the Nester.
I ship it.
Can we talk about the fact that Blink-182 wants to make this night last forever?
They don't want to make it the best night ever.
They just want it to keep going.
I'm not concerned about length.
I'm concerned about quality.
It feels like maybe that first off, I'm going to stand by that.
I think Blink-182 here are piss babies. But but also i feel they're putting us on a pedestal yeah yeah i feel after one day they're
like let's make this last forever i'm like whoa calm down i'm great all right i'm not that great
i haven't been here for a few months what have you achieved in the last few months that makes blink 182 circa 2002 want to date you forever i have no
idea well in 2002 they are roughly the same age that we are now well that's that's good i guess
i don't know in 2002 i was underage blink 182 hold on no well it'dink-182 Plumbing the Death Star only existed as a twinkle in Sam's eyes
so
we can't really
count that
I
there's a weird
because look
spoilers
Blink-182 is more famous
than Plumbing the Death Star
and that's controversial
what
the fuck am I here for
so
you're right
I've never performed
at a sound wave
I don't know
what album do we have
none
but my point is there's a bit of a power imbalance you know. What album do we have? Nones.
But my point is,
there's a bit of a power imbalance.
You know what I mean?
We invited Levens over telling him we're recording
Damn It 2.
Yeah.
What's my server again?
But it's weird that they,
we're like a peasant to them,
you know?
That's strange.
But they seem to be
very nervous about this,
so I can only presume
in their eyes,
we are very hot.
Did they think where my dad wrote a porno or something?
They're confused as to what podcast we are.
I overheard them talking about you guys earlier
and they actually said, when you smile, I melt inside.
I'm not worthy for a minute of your time.
I really wish it was only me and you. I'm jealous worthy for a minute of your time. I really wish it was
only me and you. I'm jealous
of everybody in the room. Red flag.
Yeah, big one. Hello. Okay, let's explore
those for a second. I'm jealous of
everybody in the room. What, the other people at the restaurant?
Yeah.
They don't get the meal in once?
No, no, no. Blink-182 doesn't want anyone else looking
at Plum on the desktop.
We are hot to them.
We are.
This is just one date.
I want to still play the field.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
This is Green Day Band someone was mentioning before.
No, no, they got snapped.
No.
Okay, so this scenario exists.
In the five years between Infinity War and Endgame.
Okay, I've got one question.
What happened to Sum 41?
It's a great question.
My boys, Jimmy and Will, where are they at?
They're good.
Jimmy and Will, maybe they lost the drama.
Kevin Feige's got to release a big list.
How good would that be if Kevin Feige was like,
okay, everyone's been asking a lot of questions
about where everybody was and wasn't during the five years
between Infinity War and Endgame.
But I'm here to let you know that nine out of 17 members
of Real Big Fish are still rocking on stage
every night of the week.
So they're like,
so, you know,
they've got some positions
to fill.
Yep.
So what if they,
you know,
maybe they post
the surviving members,
or in this case,
all members of Bling 182.
To join real big fish.
Yeah, well,
they get like,
you know,
one member of Green Day.
Oh no,
they all went,
sorry.
Green Day got snapped.
How many times
has it happened?
It's just not hitting me You know
It's hard
They were in the Simpsons
That's pretty famous
They died though
Now they died again
They're in the Simpsons movie
And Principal Skinner
Not in the Simpsons movie
The biggest injustice
That I've ever experienced
In my life
But even the playing field
Trey Coole gets hit
In the dick with a stone
and then the barge sinks and they die.
That is pretty good.
Who?
Trey Cool, the drummer.
Trey Cool.
Trey Cool.
From Real Big Fish.
Trey Cool, that's his name from Green Day.
Birth name?
No, it's something, something, the third.
I can't remember.
Look, my Green Day knowledge.
Not as good as it used to.
This is my impersonation of Green Day from
the Simpsons movie.
Da da da da da
da da da da da da
Oh, my dick!
Sick.
So,
I don't know why we're on such a
It's crazy. He's very, very jealous of
like, it's just a very jealous band
right now. Can we try and figure out where the hell we've gone with Blink-182 is very, very jealous of, like, it's just a very jealous band right now.
Can we try and figure out where the hell we've gone with Blink-182?
I think Honky Tonk might be the best guess.
Where did they meet us?
Yeah.
Where did they meet us?
They found us online on a podcast band dating app.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like Christian Mingle, but for podcasts.
Yeah, yeah.
Do you want to date exclusively concepts?
Yeah, and why am I here?
I don't know
You've always been the fourth member of Plumbing the Death Star
We've only released two official episodes
Three official episodes
This is the fourth official real episode
This is the third official real episode
It's happening right here right now
It's rare, because of the Melbourne-Sydney gap,
it becomes hard to record with the four core members of Florida.
Yeah, time goes slowly in Sydney.
Every other episode has just been a test of us.
We just keep keeping out, you know,
it's like keeping your teeth sharpened.
So I think you're right.
A honky tonk is like some kind of square dancing bomb.
I was trying to think maybe even like the,
you know, the dance scene from Pulp Fiction,
how it is kind of like a diner kind of dinner dance.
Something Jack Roberts.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Where do you reckon Blink-182 would take us?
Yeah, because a honky-tonk restaurant doesn't really seem Blink-182's style.
That seems like something that we would take Blink-182.
We're like, great restaurant, good music, good food.
Oh, do you love to dance? It's troughs of chicken and a guy with a banjo.
Dude, you don't even use your hands.
You just put your hand in the chicken.
Blake got 82.
Can I call you Blake?
Just put your hand in the chicken.
The worst part of this is I can imagine you loving a restaurant
that's just all wet chicken and a guy with a banjo.
Wet chicken, guy with a banjojo and all the coke you can drink.
Sorry, sarsaparilla.
Yeah.
You put the sarsaparilla in the corner of your mouth with a little straw
and then you bury your head in the chicken.
Delicious.
It's infuriating knowing you as a real-life person,
knowing that this isn't a bit for you.
You wish this restaurant existed.
I'm just describing my dream restaurant.
That's all.
And taking Blink-182 there and getting them involved.
I just need to know at what point of the year does this restaurant celebrate Halloween?
Oh, that's going to be the greatest night of the year.
Absolutely.
And all year round.
No, Halloween.
I'm afraid you're not worthy of going on a date with Blink-182 if you can't answer this question.
Well, I'm probably not.
Let's be honest.
Because Halloween should only be celebrated
on Christmas.
Well, I mean, technically
it's celebrated all year round.
So I feel like we passed.
Yeah, we'll celebrate Halloween and Christmas.
Jack and Sally,
if you want.
You can always find me
I can only do it in the voice
you can't
something about
spiders
it's another fucking song where they're like I wish tonight would never end
nights have to end blink 182
at a certain point dawn is an issue
the sun will just
rise I get it
staying out late's fun.
Yeah.
But it doesn't make the...
They don't understand time.
Okay.
So please don't look at me with those eyes.
Clearly we've turned.
Okay.
Clearly we've turned on Black 1 82.
We've looked around this terrible honky tonk restaurant
and been like,
is this really what you've brought us on this date for?
He's been jealous.
He's like beating himself up emotionally.
I'm like, this man, sorry, this band has the self-esteem of a worm.
Yep.
I hate them.
And then, please don't hit.
And I'm eating this wet chicken.
They haven't even touched it.
I'm popping my head up.
What?
Popping my head out of the chicken trough.
Have you noticed Blink-182 hasn't touched that chicken trough?
Why?
I don't understand.
And I feel like I'm eating enough chicken for this entire podcast.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Anyway, so Blink-182 are there just with their little beady eyes
looking around the room, looking at us, looking around the room,
checking to see if anyone is staring at the hottest shit, us,
and getting real jealous about it.
And we've noticed.
Yeah, yeah.
So we've looked at them with those eyes.
With those eyes.
And I guess at some point we must have hinted that we're capable of lies.
I think, look, I think we're trying to like just gently being like, hey, do you want dessert?
We're like, no.
No.
I would like to go home.
I've got to be home.
I've got work tomorrow.
I just don't know if I can stay out much longer.
You're signaling for a check?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. I think we're trying to do a check? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
I think we're trying to do a bit of a white lie in terms of maybe,
look, we've got work tomorrow, big day at the office.
Considering how much Blink-182 wants this night to go on forever,
any kind of like-
And ever, and ever, and ever.
And ever.
Being like, yeah, we've got to leave at some point.
It's not a good sign for old Blink-182.
They're very unhappy.
All right, as a spokesperson for Blink-182,
which is why I'm here.
Infiltrator.
I said to pass on, don't waste your time on me.
You're already the voice inside my head.
They miss us now.
Presumably the breakup song about us.
I dread the thought of our very first kiss.
Link 182 wrote, I miss you about plumbing the death star.
Yeah, that's a little piece of music trivia for you.
So come up in Spotify and, you know.
Yeah, absolutely.
Hello there.
Plumbing the death star.
The angel from my nightmare.
The shadow in the background of the morgue
The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the alley
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want
That's us, let's plumbing the dust
Jack, I'm Jackson
Sally, confused with you
That's what the Jolls are called outside of the studio
Sally
And the pause, Levin's
Man, I misuse a sad song if it's about us and that date
Because he's like, and in the end we'll wish this never ends
They really misinterpreted what this date was
Well, I think they're projecting
They're like, really, plumbing the death star wanted that date to never end
It wasn't just me
When really we were like, oh, this honky tonk restaurant can eat my ass.
You know,
things were a bit better.
Man, if all those other patrons out there
were just like looking at him
and just like,
oh man,
we could have made it go forever.
A bit paranoid.
Yeah.
A bit paranoid.
Let's get to the last couple lines
in the second verse.
Which, okay,
keep in mind that Blink-182
at the time of this song
were roughly around the age of 28.
All right.
Cows. I dread the thought of 28. All right. Cowards.
I dread the thought of our very first kiss.
Look, us too.
We also did.
I think maybe they're reading our projection.
Hey, if you kiss one member of Blink-182 and Zamet kisses another member later and then Levin's kiss,
if we don't kiss at the same time did the podcast and the band kiss or
did the individual members kiss how do we get a first kiss i think it's gonna be like a seven
like a seven way kiss does it have to be like a three two one go yeah not as angry but i mean
more sexy yeah three two one there have been multiple members of blink 182 i think we can
all get our own member of blink 182 how2 How many members of Blink-182 are there?
There's always three
But they've had two drummers and two bassists
Tom DeLonge not in the band anymore
Alright good
I just didn't want it to be uneven
He's gone and done Angels and Airways
Matt Skipper
The guy from Alkaline Trio
A band that were never as successful in Australia
I frankly never heard of them.
And also Thanos.
Thanos was a member of the Green Day?
Yeah, that's what he said.
Thanos, you said you never heard of it before.
Thanos, what the fuck?
I just wanted to get rid of Green Day.
Damn, it's a great song.
A target that I'm probably...
I never thought
I'd die alone.
I left the loudest, who'd have known?
As he pushes Gamora
off the edge.
So then Blink-182 thinks that they're
going to miss kissing us, which is
great because, again, it's like a four-way kiss.
So it's just hard to fuck up.
And also if you're 28, you've probably kissed people before.
Look, I don't want to.
We don't know.
We don't know.
Blink-182.
But if they've kissed, we don't know if the band's kissed.
Hey, Jackson, why don't you go on a date at age 28 with a big virgin?
So I want to date with a big virgin
in Blink-182.
Blink-182 is a-
Basically,
big virgin
piss baby worms.
I don't like-
If they're dreading
their first kiss,
I'd be like,
so,
Enema of the State,
all lies,
never kissed anyone.
Interesting.
Yeah, cool.
Sure, Blink-182.
I'd also be lied
about Blink-182.
All this talk
is making me want
to download
some Blink-182s.
I'm just going to do that.
Anywhere of the state in their greatest hits will cover most of what you need.
Going away to college is a great song.
And then Blink-182 pretty much just goes on to reiterate
that they would like this date to go forever,
which is a terrible thing to say after just failing to kiss us.
Or being like, I'd love to kiss you, but I'll fuck it up,
so I'm not going to.
I dread the thought of our very first kiss,
a target that I'm probably going to miss.
Maybe it's because I'm too slippery from the chicken.
Are we just moving out the way?
What are you going to do, Blink?
Or are you just trying to like...
Move the target, baby!
Is he going to kiss us and accidentally gets our teeth?
I don't know.
What is this?
That is the worst feeling in the world.
Yes, it is.
Blink, what the hell?
It sounds weird, but it feels worse.
What about just someone kissing your teeth
Yeah what about just lips on teeth
Lip to tooth actually
That is somehow less intimate
Than a handshake
You're so right
Hey all three members of Blink-182
Kiss my teeth
3, 2, one, go!
They taste the chicken on my teeth.
Hey, they got a meal at the end.
So I guess we need to really go through what has happened on this date, I guess. Because it sounds like if you go line by line, it's absolute chaos,
as both us and the listeners have just realized.
So, well, they've picked us up and they're nervous as shit.
And they've blurted out some weird things about, you know,
they're kind of doing the whole like insecurity thing.
Like, look at me, I'm a terrible person.
Which, I don't know, is that endearing?
It's okay.
I mean, it's a tactic, but I'm not sure I'm up for it.
If I've spoken to them before and it wasn't just in paragraph form
and I was like, Hey,
do you like my stupid hair?
Would you guess that I didn't know what to wear?
Like,
I'd be like, that's not,
I like that.
You're a insecure.
If these have just come up in conversation,
not one after the other,
I'm just scared of what you think is,
I don't know.
If they follow up with that,
then you're like,
I don't,
it's kind of like, you almost like it. Oh, you know, you looking good. Oh, do you like my stupid hair kind of they follow up with that, then you're like, don't even stress about it. It's kind of like, you're almost like, you're looking good.
Do you like my stupid hair kind of stuff?
But even that, I'm just like, you're 28.
Shut up.
Yeah, it's a bit sad for an adult band.
Joel Zammett's ideal date is someone gets in the car.
They're like, hey, I'm horny for you.
My hair's sick.
My clothes are the best.
And I'm like, guess who's getting a handy on the way to the restaurant?
You!
Hell yeah.
And I spit in my palm and lube him up.
It's just great to get in the car and someone's like, hey.
And you're like, hey.
And then that person in the car's like, I look fucking great today.
Also, I'm self-confident I can get behind.
And now a quick word from our sponsor.
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Yeah, well, see, it wouldn't be so bad if then the date
wasn't Blink-182
panickedly looking around the restaurant
and being like, you fucking lying to me?
Why is everyone looking at you?
You fucking think you'd be better than me?
No, they're probably wondering why we're so loud.
Why you haven't touched your chicken?
Every time I move, my shirt rides up my belly.
That's probably what they're saying, Blink-182.
It's tight as a shirt.
We've got a lot of boneless chicken.
I got a shirt that was too small to impress you.
Thought it would make me look
thin, but it's just red enough.
Blink-182, stop pointing
it out.
The worst part is that sounds like it's
based on something that's happened in real life.
Yeah, I have shirts that are too small
and a belly. And which
pop-punk band told you
they were?
What's a rude pop punk band?
Great question.
Like a mean-spirited one.
Because bands like Fall Out Boy and stuff,
no, they would be too busy beating themselves up.
Previously, have we only dated other podcasts?
Is this our first foray into dating a band?
A pop punk band specifically.
Because it feels like a podcast dating a podcast,
that's what we're used to, you know? Yeah. We dated Metallica for a bit, but they were a bit old Pop punk band specifically. Because it feels like a podcast dating a podcast. That's what we're used to, you know?
Yeah.
We dated Metallica for a bit,
but they were a bit old and intense for us.
Yes, absolutely.
They kept suing us for illegally downloading their love.
Lars subscribed to our podcast,
realized it was free, and then was furious.
We had some things to say about Saint Anger.
That drum sound.
Really? That one?
Really? Really? Okay. Really? That one? Really.
Really.
Okay.
Your lifestyle determines your death style.
You go with death style.
Is that a thing?
Is that a thing?
Is that a concept that's real?
Fran, tick, tick, tick, tock.
Is there any other words to this song?
Not really, huh?
Fran, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tock.
I'm on Metallica's side here.
They didn't come here to be attacked.
He's going to have that on repeat.
Oh, cool.
Oh, you've released a double album as a DVD.
It's got you blackness.
Oh, it's bad.
Guys, I didn't get the memo that we needed to learn Metallica
references before this podcast.
This was just that.
That was all references to the album Saint Anger,
which you can find on Spotify and is bad.
Saint Anger.
That's all I know about that album.
Shall we explore I Miss You as a breakup song
about the fallout of that date?
So to answer the very obvious question,
no, no, we're not going on a second date.
I'm just not interested.
Look, is anyone here interested in a second date with Blink right now?
I was fine with the first part,
and then when they were jealous of everyone else in the room.
Besides, if one of us dates Blink-182, it doesn't count.
A human being can't date a band.
It's not a thing.
Levens, where do you fall on this?
If you guys are seriously passing up on this opportunity,
and there's going to be no competition,
then I'm going...
Levens is going to attempt to be one man that dates an entire
man one man a mere mortal date an entire bear a podcast sure that makes sense yeah a podcast a
company i'm just saying that maybe if i was there during the hardest times of blink 182
and a launch would still be in the band but then we wouldn't have angels and airwaves and you know
name one of their songs.
Classic song.
And then we also wouldn't have got Plus 44.
A franchise could also date a band.
A franchise could date a band.
McDonald's and...
No, I feel like McDonald's dating Blink-102
is almost like a sugar daddy relationship.
Yeah, maybe not McDonald's.
Jack in the box.
Oh, yeah.
The phase five in the box. Yeah, but
phase five of the MCU
is Blink-182's
incorporation.
Yeah, look, I think that's
allowed, but a mortal man cannot date a band
for the very idea.
Alright, so I miss you. I reckon things have
not gone well. We probably have not
dated Blink-102,
given the track record of our very first date,
which did not end well.
A little paranoid git.
And then we've run into Blink years down the path.
They've hit and...
We've stumbled upon his MySpace.
Yeah.
And we've discovered his lyrics,
all these little poems he's written.
Oh, no.
I miss you, miss you.
Do you think the moment we read that, we're like,
this song's about us?
Yeah.
It's about that one date we had at that honky-tonk restaurant
so many years ago.
I love that anytime anyone from Link 182 bumps into their ex,
they just, hello there.
It's not just, hi.
Hello there.
Hello there.
It's a lonely nightmare.
Has anyone mixed the Obi-Wan hello there with the start of this song? Surely. Surely someone has. Surely. Hello there. Hello there. Has anyone mixed the Obi-Wan hello there with the start of this song?
Surely.
Surely someone has.
Someone should.
Or whatever.
Hello there.
I don't know.
I've never seen a movie.
Hello there.
How are you?
It's me, Obi-Wan.
You know that movie?
I haven't fucking seen it.
I haven't seen any movie.
Hi there.
What's the song?
May the force be with you.
Cheerio.
Pimp, pimp, cheerio.
It's me, Obi-Wan.
Hello.
Good day, Luke.
Yeah, I remember Star Wars.
I remember the Jawas.
They're sound people.
They'll be back in a great number.
Whoa, toot toot.
Obi-Wan's classic line.
Toot toot.
I fucking remember the film.
Last you know, where's the Luke?
Yeah, exactly.
I regret.
No, actually, I don't.
I'm glad I mentioned that.
That's good.
All right.
So hello there.
The angel from my nightmare.
Fucking okay.
We've ghosted Blink-182.
Yeah, I don't want to.
They're walking behind us.
Yeah.
And you're like, I know you you're there Blink-182
But
I'm just gonna ignore you
And in the background
They're saying
Hello back
Cause yeah
How did
How did
How did after the first date
What happened
Based on the context of this
I reckon we've ghosted them
So we've got
They've just constantly texted us
And we've ignored the shit out of that
Fuck
Well it's 2001
We probably don't have a phone
Yeah that's true
But we do
The sex was chill.
Hell yeah.
You know what?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ghost this guy. I'll be back.
I'll be home in an hour.
I'm gonna go fuck a band.
I'm gonna have some chill sex with the band.
Hey guys, give me that.
I'm just gonna go fuck a band.
I've got a couple of things to fill.
Just gonna go real quick, fuck a band.'ve got a couple of things to fill Just going to go real quick fuck a bear
I'll be back
The timing, the structure, did you hear
I fucked Blink-182
Levens fucked him
The timing is trying to do here
Levens fucked him, that's good
That's great
The shadow in the background of the morgue.
They're laying it on thick.
One day, which wasn't that
good. He took us to some
greasy chicken bar.
Didn't even dance. We danced.
If someone was like, you're the angel from my
nightmare. So I'm like, okay, that's weird.
Because a bright spot at a bad time, presumably.
Yeah, true. The shadow in the background
of a morgue. a bad time, presumably. Yeah, true. The shadow in the background of a morgue.
That's just meaningless concepts.
I'm rolling my eyes.
Yeah, I'm like, what do you mean?
I might be looking away and rolling my eyes
just so they don't see and maybe attack me.
A morgue is already spooky.
Putting a shadow in there achieves nothing.
I wouldn't even notice a shadow in a morgue.
Yeah, me neither.
Especially in the background of a morgue.
Is the background of the morgue lit up?
Yeah, exactly. Usually not. It's like lightning of a morgue. Is the background of the morgue lit up? Yeah, exactly.
Usually not.
It's like lightning in a graveyard.
Who cares?
Oh, there's a vampire in this.
Oh, look at that.
Is this Al giving me a hoot?
Hey, this abandoned mansion also has some scary wind.
Wind?
Why are people scared of wind?
Oh, it's spooky.
It makes a woo sound.
Like a wolf.
I can make a woo sound.
Oh, look, I'm scared.
I'm not scared of me.
Anyway, I'm the unsuspecting victim of the darkness in the valley.
Oh, shut the fuck up.
Oh, my God.
Who's having a fucking pity party?
Jesus.
Does that mean like as I walk through the shadow of the valley of death?
Is that the reference?
Yes, it's a reference to Gangsters Better Than Ducks.
A reference to the Sonic trailer.
Unsuspecting victim.
Yeah, I don't know what that means.
This is just like classic victim syndrome.
He's blaming us for our bad day that he fucked up.
Yeah.
Should we have at least, look, and we were cowards and ghosted.
Fair enough.
Yeah, we should have said straight away, hey, Blink-182,
maybe it's time we see other bands.
Do you have Newfound Glory's number?
Do real big fish still rock so hard?
Why do they rock so hard, Levins?
It feels rude of us to ask Blink-182
for the number of any other band.
That's not on.
Shouldn't do that.
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want.
I'm assuming he's referring to Jack Skellington and Sally.
Yes, that's right, from Night of Old Christmas.
Or Jack from Jack Skellington and Sally from Sonic the Hedgehog comics.
Sonic's main love interest.
I reckon that's what he's talking about in fan fiction.
He's rhythm.
Jack Nicholson, Sally Field.
Now I understand.
Old people being horny.
Hey, the elderly fuck too.
They sure do.
They are boning and in weird ways.
Because they gotta.
You can always find me.
We'll have Halloween and Christmas and in the night
we'll wish this never ends. We'll wish this never ends.
I don't want Halloween on Christmas.
Go away, Blink.
I just like,
I don't know why my brain did this,
but I just need to get this out there
because I just had this thought
and I've never thought about this before
until right now.
But Jack,
based on the fact that you said
that they fuck in weird ways,
I imagined old people having anal
for the first time in my entire life.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I imagine old people have a lot of anal.
I wouldn't be shocked.
Which old people?
Just the general. Just the general old people. You just, my entire life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I imagine old people have a lot of anal. I wouldn't be shocked. Which old people? Just the general.
Just the general old people.
Anyone whose anal is still functional.
Maybe you've lived your entire life.
Because.
You've made it to 70.
Yeah.
You've never had anal.
Guess what?
You turn 70.
Get anal.
Anal o'clock.
Because imagine this, Levin.
Imagine you've never had anal.
You hit 70.
You're like, I've got 10 years left.
I could die and have never had anal. Yeah. I better You're like, I've got 10 years left. I could die and have never had anal.
I better have 10 years of anal.
I may as well.
10 years in and we're still burning like we're anal.
At 70, your prostate's probably gone,
so you're probably going to need a lot of force on that.
There's a lot of arse fucking happening in old folks' homes.
We're mature adults.
We can talk about it.
We can admit this.
Yeah.
If you're old, tweet him.
Have you fucked your significant other in the ass because you're old?
That's what I'd like to know.
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Anyway.
No other reasons.
Just general old.
Not like I want to give it a burl.
Not horny.
Just I'm old and I should give it a go.
Where are you?
And I'm so sorry.
I cannot sleep.
I cannot dream tonight.
Okay.
I need.
Yes, Jackson?
No, that's good.
I just, I feel like we should go bit by bit.
That's all.
You know what I mean?
I don't want to burst our load as it were.
Okay.
So we've run burst.
Okay.
I don't want to burst my load.
I don't want to burst my load. I don't want to burst my load.
I don't want to come inside.
Because I miss you, babe.
And I don't want to burst my load.
That's it.
Even when I burst my load.
The sweetest burst would never do.
This is our best episode.
I'm happy to admit that.
I can burst my load even when I'm sleeping.
So, yes.
I get why people like this podcast.
I get why Blake182 were interested.
It makes sense now.
I understand.
It's okay.
Look, I just, they're going through like a got. It makes sense now. I understand. All right. It's okay. Look, I just,
they're going through like a goth emo phase right now. They're dressing up in all black
and getting Jack Skellington tattoos.
It's exactly the same thing.
Because I'm just going to not,
I'm going to try and not laugh.
Yeah.
When I see that.
This song has the same thing as First Date,
where it seems like the,
good, yes.
Right advice.
The first verse seems like they've run into us. And then the second verse seems like that. Good. Yes. The first verse seems like they've run into us.
And then the second verse seems like that.
This is the MySpace post.
Or is this like a text?
Are they just kind of texting us?
Oh, yeah.
If you look at this after, like, say, you know, we wish this never ends.
Then, like, I miss you.
I miss you.
And they just kind of keep texting that.
Where are you?
And I'm sorry.
Where are you?
Each one of these is one text. I can't imagine that. I can't imagine that. I can't imagine that. Because I know I can. Yeah. Where are you and I'm so sorry where are you each one of these is one text
just imagine that
because I know I can
where are you
Christ almighty
where
what
this person is
now maybe stalking us
imagine
imagine if you got a text
from someone
that you were dating
that was suddenly
like you know
fair enough
okay where am I
you know I understand
why you would want to know that
and then I'm so sorry
I'm so sorry
fair enough what have they done and then skip forward a few sentences the webs from all the spiders I understand why you would want to know that. And then I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Fair enough.
What have they done?
And then skip forward a few sentences.
The webs from all the spiders.
Catching things.
Oh, no.
Eating their insides.
Yeah, I mean, I guess.
What?
I guess spiders.
What just comes creeping on so haunting every time?
The six strange darkness.
The six strange darkness comes creeping on. So haunting every time. The six strange darkness. The six strange darkness comes creeping on.
So haunting every time.
Yeah.
Depression?
Has anybody ever said this darkness is really creeping on right now?
Blink has.
Our significant other is Blink.
Man, you are all in.
You are all in.
Yeah.
We've disappeared.
Levin's is like, yeah, we should have chill sex.
Also, they're definitely interested.
Levin, we just, I don't know.
Like indecision to call you.
He's like, oh, I want to call you.
And hear your voice of treason.
That's just classic Tom behavior.
Wow.
Holy shit.
What a line.
Hear the voice of treason.
Are you kidding me?
I honestly think that I,
now I can't unthink it,
like hearing treason,
but I reckon that I always thought
that that line said reason.
Well, that would make sense.
Yeah, no, I get the joke reference.
Yeah, right.
It's just so-
It's so good.
That's some middle school shit there, Blink-182.
Yeah.
I feel like they just-
Quick update, they're like 32, 33
when this song comes out.
So look, if we were dating in high school and we had one date
and this was how they reacted, you know,
we were taken to the-
They made a scene at school and all the teachers
and the principal, you have to go in front of them
and be like, what's happening?
And explain it.
I'd understand because, you know, dumb fuck kids.
Blink, you're 28.
You're 30-odd.
30, yeah.
Calm down.
I'm really enjoying it.
Like, Zabit, this song was written by someone your age.
Yeah, this is bad.
This is red flags up the wazoo.
How great is it to imagine the text responses to each one?
Where are you?
I'm at home.
I'm so sorry.
What did you do?
That's okay.
Don't worry about it, please.
Because he's clearly referring to that one night.
I cannot sleep.
I cannot dream tonight
Okay
Okay look
Guys
Hey
That's the question
Have you been drinking
Yeah yeah yeah
I need somebody
And always
Okay look mate
I've already said no
Try Tinder
This is strange darkness
Okay
Comes creeping on
Soul haunting every time
What
What
Sorry explain
As I said, I counted.
What were you counting?
The webs from all the spiders.
Clean your fucking room.
Catching things and eating their sides.
That's gross.
That is how spiders work.
But also, yuck.
Shut up.
So stop watching spiders.
You're weird.
Please don't call me.
And hear your voice of treason.
Just dot, dot, dot.
They're getting one ellipsis from me.
A lot of like dot, dot, dot. They're getting one ellipsis from me.
Dot, dot, dot, and then okay, full stop. No capitals.
Plumbing the Death Star is typing.
Delete, delete, delete.
Plumbing the Death Star is typing.
Delete, delete, delete.
Dot, dot, dot.
Okay.
Levinson's heart eyes.
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight?
Stop this pain tonight.
Clearly they sent it and they weren't sure they'd send it again.
I send the word daddy.
Look, I think you've had too much to drink.
Look, please go to sleep and we'll talk about this in the morning.
That's my reply to that last line.
Don't waste your time on me.
You're already the voice inside my head.
I miss you.
It's great if you imagine this as like a sad, drunk,
like voice recording sent to us.
That's the beauty of the song.
Tom DeLonge's verse sounds like a drunken voicemail.
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
He even sings like this.
My head. My head. My head like it is. My head.
My head.
Your what?
My head.
My head.
Shut up.
Don't waste your time on me.
You're a voice inside my head.
I miss you.
I miss you.
Yeah, look, he's drunk as shit.
Blink-182's drunk and calling
It's very funny for a band to be drunk
An entire band
Drunk, darling, plumbing
Hey, the entire band
I reckon we've had too many beers
But what do you say we call that Melbourne-based podcast
And their guest
Oh my god, great idea I miss them so much But what do you say we call that Melbourne-based podcast and their guest?
Oh, my God.
Great idea.
I miss them so much. I miss them.
We had such an amazing night.
I miss them.
Wait.
Press voice record.
I got a song.
A song.
I got a song.
Let me sing the song.
Let me sing with the band we all love.
No way.
Everybody's clapping.
They're loving this moment.
Oh, my God.
Wow.
So Blink-182, I'm probably not going to date them.
Yeah, I'm not going to date them.
I'm sad I dated them once.
Look, to be honest, it feels like hassles, a lot of hassles,
and now I'm afraid that they might harm me.
At least Pete Wentz sends dick pics.
You guys are right.
I'm in.
I'm dating Fall Out Boy, I guess.
Levins is like,
fuck yeah, chill sex with Blink-182.
Whatever, weird messages, who cares?
I'm feeling this.
I might go back to Metallica,
see what Death Magnetic was like.
Was it good?
I'm going to try and date Elon Musk and SpaceX.
See if they can put this boy on Mars.
And on that note, I've been Joel.
I've been Jackson.
I've also been Joel.
And I've been Levins.
And if you like hearing horrible stories about fucking Blink-182,
you'll love my podcast, Hey Fam.
It comes out every single week.
And this could be a week that you listen to it.
Find it wherever you find good podcasts.
That was a stellar plug.
That was great.
It's so smooth.
The steps that I retrace
The sad look on your face
The timing and structure
Did you hear he fucked her
A day late, a buck short
I'm writing the report
On losing and failing
When I move, I'm flailing
Now everybody and it's happened once again.
You'll turn into a friend.
Someone understands.
Sees through the master plan.
Jackson, you look real confused.
But everybody's gone.
And I've been here for too long.
Literally been here for 10 minutes.
The face is on your own.
Well, I guess this is growing. Hey everybody,
it's your host, Andrew Levins. Welcome to another episode of Plumbing the Death Star.
It's the second official episode, third, third official episode of Plumbing the Death Star.
And with me today, I have, I've got Tom DeLonge.
Love to be here.
And I have the drummer from the Aquabats.
Pizza Party.
And the one that doesn't believe in aliens is here as well.
That's me.
Thanks for listening.
And if you want to follow us on Twitter,
you can find us at Sandspan's Radio on twitter you can find us at sanspantsradio
or you can find us individually
I'm at douche13
I'm at olddogthedad
and I'm at goddammitzammit
if you want to hear our other shows
you can head to sanspantsradio.com
and you'll find all our other content there
there's heaps
and if you want to support us
head to sanspantsplus.com
thank you again for listening
and we'll see you again next time
goodnight for now
but not forever.
Kisses.