Plumbing the Death Star - Would You Trust the Magic House in Encanto?

Episode Date: February 11, 2024

We're in the magical land of Encanto! There's a big house that keeps giving that one family fantastical powers and we, humble citizens of Encantoland don't know how to feel about it! On one hand our lives have become so much easier that we can now spend all our time at Jackson's Loveable Puppet Shop but on the other hand why can that boy turn into anyone and why does that family need to hear our secrets? Now that we think about it, we're becoming increasingly suspicious of that magic house. Zammit has a pet theory on the intended purpose of the Madrigals, Duscher excitedly tells the boys about a great time in history and Jackson offers the small town a simple creature comfort they all want. Maybe the best move is to eat that candle and or touch that magic doorknob to get knife hands or become a chicken.Links to everything in our linktr.ee including our terrible merch, social media garbage and where to become a subscriber to Bad Brain Boys+ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ahem. You're listening to the Sandspants Network. Hey everyone, and welcome to this week's episode of Plumbing the Death Star, the comedy pop culture podcast where we ask the important questions. I'm Joel. I'm Jackson. And I'm also Joel. And the question we are proposing to you, the audience, today is,

would you trust the magic house in Encanto. Spoilers. I wouldn't. Okay. I don't know the house noise. There are two situations here with the Magic House. Situation one is we live in the magic house. Situation two is we live in the town where what the magic house is all in.

And the valley beyond. So I guess the place to start with the magic house. The 50-50. I don't know which way he's going to go now. Yeah, me too. Is when the magic powers happened the first time. That wasn't one of the options. Because. Okay, in a multiple choice, A or B, he chose number four.

Okay. Is the house magic before that happens? No. What do you mean? The plot of a character. She gets a magic house. The family are escaping from a war. And then the magic powers.

A fella dies. The fella's wife, she's so sad that a candle gets magic powers. And then the candle make her the house. You know what? When I said when she uses her magic for the first time, I meant when the candle gets magic. Okay. Because in my head, she used. But there's no house when the candle gets magic. Okay. Because in my head, she used-

But there's no house where the candle gets magic. Yeah. No, no, no. But there's the field where the candle gets magic, which then becomes the house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who will wait? Wait, does the candle make the magic? The house?

The house magic? Yeah. Or is the family magic, and then the house is magic? No, the candle making the house magic. Oh, yeah, because the candle's going to go go out and then they're like, oh, the family fucked the house cracking. The candle is the house. We can't talk about Bruno.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because Maribel, doesn't she have a special... Well, the candle's not the house. The candle's the candle. Who's the house? The house is magic from the candle, the same way the family's magic from the candle. But doesn't Maribel have a special bond with the house? Is the house possessed by the dead old man?

I don't think so. The house is just a house. That would be subject. It's not just a house. Because the house is magic. The house gets rebuilt. And then at the end, the house isn't real. Like you see, there wasn't a house that made magic.

No, I'm saying the candle. Yes. They get the candle. The candle made the house. She gets the candle. No, I'm saying the candle. Yes. They get the candle. The candle made the house. She gets the candle. Right. The grandmother gets the candle. Then she goes and then smash cut, the house is already built.

Yes. Right. So she gets the candle when her husband gets shot, right? Yeah. Rest in peace. I'm positing. Okay. Could the spirit of the grandfather

be possessing the house and that is what gives it magic because it's kind of looking after the family Possibly Option two, he make of the candle the candle make of the house the magic That's also true He's the candle and then the candle go out

but then the candle get rebuilt No, it doesn't get rebuilt. It just gets stronger again. The house gets rebuilt. You can't rebuild the candle. Well, you can. I suppose you can. But the house gets rebuilt.

We can't rebuild a candle. We can't stop calling it rebuilding a candle. You don't say a building candle. You can. Yeah. You're not making a house. You're building a house. You can't make a house. You can make and build Lego. You can make a home, Jackson. You can make a house You're building a house You can make and build Lego

You can make a house a home You can make a house a home You can make a home a house Have some fights or whatever Make it loveless Because Maribel she talked to a house And that's what kind of That's her power

Her power is talk to house Can't everyone talk to the house? No. Fuck the power. The house is just there, but. But the house doesn't give her a door. But the house is like.

She gets shit on. Yeah, no, but. The house doesn't want enough power. But then the house is like, here's a little secret. Here's a little thing.

Here's this kind of stuff. That's not her power. We're going to direct you to this. That's not her talent. Wow. I don't think she gets a talent. She can talk to the house. Everyone can talk to the house.

I don't think, yeah. She doesn't get a talent. I'm with Jackson, because the whole point of the movie. I mean, look. Before we go down the silly route here. Who knew Encanto would make us fight like this?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Encanto fucks itself because it has a message and then it undoes the message in the final scene. That's the loudest pour I've ever heard anyone do. How am I meant to quiet it? I don't know. What am I meant to do? Tilt the mug slightly? Do it before we started the show. Have you poured a drink in your fucking life?

What? How? What? What? What? What? This is how it sounded. Cook, cook, cook, cook, cook, cook, cook, cook.

Blame the can. No. I blame the pourer. The can's always the can. When I poured my drink- I don't know what I could have done. You could have tilted the mug. You could have tilted the mug. You could have tilted the mug.

You could have gone from a slightly lower angle. I don't know what I could have done to make you happy. So, yeah. This family's falling apart. We've made this home a house. So- Uh-huh. Yeah.

So, yeah. She doesn't have powers. This is the whole fucking point of the movie. And sure, the movie fucks itself with the point of the movie in the end because it's like, hey, family was the real magic. Actually, no, magic was the real magic. Magic was the real magic. Yeah, yeah.

We built the house. It's so nice. We all came together. Our family is special. No, the house is magic. No, actually, the magic is special No actually The magic is special That's true That's true

Cause like Yeah Cause I got a little I know they're When they're saying We're here to help We're here to help out the house And every

I was gonna say help out the village And then it's just kind of like Cool we got someone that can You know lift things Real big We got someone That's gonna heal you With delicious yummy food

Someone can talk to horses And then we have two individuals that, like, this person can hear all your private conversations, and this guy over here can shapeshift into anyone. We're helping. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know how the one who can hear anything is helping anyone. I don't know how the shapeshifter is helping anyone.

Well, he can become your dead loved one. That's what's up. He's a boy! No, just to help you mourn. How would... That isn't... That's the fucking plot of that Black Mirror episode. No, like when Jim Carrey...

You again, or whatever it's called. What's an episode called? Like when Jim Carrey inhabited Andy Kaufman for the movie Andy and Me. It was for Man on the Moon. Anyway. Andy and Me is a documentary about the creation of the film Man on the Moon.

Hey, let him go. No. Let him finish his- Hold up, let him cook. Hold up, let him cook. I want to see where this is. What's he cooking in there? So when Jim Carrey, for Man on the Moon, where he's inhabited-

He inhabited Andy Kaufman's body. Andy Kaufman's alive family. Yeah. They came and visited him. And they were like, stay in character to help us mourn. So that we might, in a way, get a chance to say goodbye. Okay, so. So that we might, in a way, get a chance to say goodbye.

Okay, so is that- So, Jackson, because one fucked up family says a fucked up thing to a fucked up man, you're implying that that's true for everyone. Well, it could be. If you're- You got a dead dog. Oh, no. And then if your dead dog comes back for ten minutes, is that good? That's not even your dead dog.

Or does that upset you more? It's someone- It's your neighbor's dog pretending to be your dead dog. And that's fine because Jim Carrey did a lot of research into Andy Kaufman, right? Yes, he did.

Now, Camillo, how old is he? I don't know. Let's say 12. I thought he was at least 15. Okay, let's go 15 then. Why not? And so it does,

and then you see your, I don't know, your dead husband dead. And then Camillo Your I don't know Your dead husband Dead And then Camillo comes up And he's like I reckon I don't know who it's me Your dead husband

He turns into your dead husband No Like Doesn't do personality Doesn't know anything about you Whatever that is How is that Well it's on you for wanting that

But if he's doing it He should have done his research He didn't do his research Clearly Okay So he's It's kind of on him He should have done his research To He didn't do his research, clearly. Okay. So it's kind of on him. He should have done his research to act like my dead husband properly.

Is he charging you for this service? No, they just do it for the community, like all of the family. He's 15. And also, if someone I loved died, and then someone came back pretending to be them, I would feel like I'm being bullied and psychologically tortured. Yeah, unless this is being done in a very controlled environment. Like a seance or something.

Yeah, a famously controlled environment, a seance. What? Yeah, well let's light a candle, let's bring some people back from the dead. That's like what a seance is. I met a controlled environment with a psychologist and a psychiatrist there who was like, we're going to do this thing because there are things that you left unsaid to your husband. So this is what we're going to do here.

We're going to get Camilla, who's going to be your husband. I understand that we could probably do the same thing with a photograph, but instead we have this boy over here who's going to pretend to be your husband. And so that you can get things off your chest. You can kind of say the things that you wanted to say and mourn. Not a fucking seance. But in a seance, it's kind of the same thing because they say we're talking to your dad's grandpa or whatever

and you get to be like, what'd you hide the gold, old man, or whatever. You're lucky you're dead, old man. I'd kill you again. So the same as I had some things left unsaid. I'll kill you for your gold, old man. I'd kill you again. So the same as I had some things left unsaid. You motherfucking didn't tell me what you buried before you fucking talked. I have some things left unsaid.

I wanted to say I love you. I wanted to say all these things that I had pent up. You know, you were a complicated individual. And you're like, where's the same as saying where's my gold? Your world was shit. You're a thing I'll say. And I know you had gold buried on the old farm. And you're like Both of these scenarios scenarios it's not actually your dead husband what about

I think they did this in Japan oh no where you can maybe John Safran did this you remember him

yeah I think it was John Safran where he went to visit one of these Japanese it's like a like a person

comes in and pretends to be your mom, and John Safran and this lady just spoon, and he says everything he wanted to say to his mom to this Japanese lady, and she comforts him, and he heals some trauma that way. Yes. That's just like...

That's something you could do, I guess. That's like kind of an evolution of psychology. Like seeing a therapist, and the therapist's like, hey, just pretend. That's like kind of an evolution of psychology. Like seeing a therapist and the therapist is like, hey, just pretend like this chair's your mom. Yeah, well, it's like an advanced version of that that Camilla's doing. No, Camilla was a little boy. Yeah, once again,

little boy. But when he gets older. Maybe. Yeah, so I got like a little pet theory, which is that the whole thing, the whole family is birthed out of war. Oh, yeah. And so all the powers that are happening, they're just there. A militia? Yeah, they're there to help a militia in a wartime environment as opposed to helping out a community. Oh, yeah.

It's kind of like how Churchill, great PM during wartime. Gotta love him. Duh, terrible during peacetime. Gotta hate him. I think this family is fantastic during wartime. But I don't know, as we kind of see in the movie, during peacetime, it's where everything kind of goes astray,

everyone's arguing, everyone hating everyone else, and all the pressure, the drip, drip, drip, or whatever. It never stops. Damn, man, now I've got to punch a donkey. Yeah, dude.

Those donkeys fucking carpet in this movie. What are the powers? What are the talents everybody has? Shapeshifting. I remember that one we just talked about. Seeing a vision of the future. Visions.

Mood controls the weather. So controlling the weather, we've got hearing. Animals can talk to you. Seeing the future. Simon has a laptop in front of him, but I'm just going off the top. I know, which is like, made things so much easier, but then you started rattling them off and this is in a different order, so I'm like Talking to animals! I saw that one on his laptop.

Yep, yep, yep, yep. Growing flowers! And cact yep, yep, yep. I said that one. Growing flowers. Fuck. And cactuses. She can grow. Oh, now you want me to read all your... You were doing it anyway. Now that you want...

Now that I've... Here's express permission. Oh, it's no longer fun. I don't want to do this now. Okay. Communicating with the house. That's not a power. She doesn't have that.

Everyone can do that. Exceptional strength is what was really... Healing. Healing cakes. And then they special bod with the castle. Which isn't a power. I don't count that one personally. Why is that ranked as number one?

I don't know, dude. Why is this in an order? I don't know. Why is shapeshifting last and talking to the house best? This is Collider being the most useful powers ranked. Talking to your house is more important than shapeshifting? That's crazy. I wouldn't want to live in a magic house.

What's my fucking house going to say? Hey, saw you take a shit? Yeah. Stop looking at me while I shit, house. Come on, dude. I'm a house Dude, you're shitting in part of me What other house?

But like, hey, great shit in my mouth you did today The toilet's your mouth? Yeah, dude The couch is my eyes What? What's your front door, eyebrows? What the fuck? Every top is my dick.

You've rinsed with my piss. Every sink is my lips. Yeah. You piss into your own mouth every time I turn on the top? No. My lips are the sink. The toilet's my mouth. I piss over my own lips, and then you shit in my mouth.

Did you rearrange that? Nah. Nah. Nah rearrange that? Magic house rules. Sorry, dude. Nothing I can do about it. It's a fucked up life, but I've come to love it. I think I live in a fucked up house. I think I could have gotten a normal one, but I didn't. I'm glad

this is ranked number one power. I'm having the best time. So do you think the house is pissed off? The reason everything goes wrong in a canto is because they're not going to war? I think so. Like, they're not using their powers together to maybe take the fight to whoever it was

that killed, say, you know, the grandfather. That's so funny, Dan. Which lends credence to that. The house is the grandpappy. The house of the candle being the grandfather. You guys, you're not forming this community to have a militia to rise up. Fight back. So what are you doing?

Come on now. We'll say if you buy into your theory, though, the powers they have are more defensive than offensive. So I think it's to prevent what happened from happening again rather than taking the fight to someone. Apart from the strength. Talking to animals. That kid knows a jaguar.

Yeah. How is that? Out of every fucking power to just pick on a whim to be like, this is an offensive power. Well, I think they're both offensive. It's fucking spying. Both of these are offensive as well as... Hang on.

Shut up for a second. What are you saying? How is talking to animals a strictly offensive power? Okay, the bad guys are coming. I know a fucking jaguar. I say, hey, jaguar, fuck their fucking shit up, cunt. Jaguar goes into the camp. Bang.

Oh, yeah, good luck shooting a jaguar. Oh, yeah, an animal that's famous for being fucking shot and hunted. Hard to kill. When you hunt it, if you don't expect a jaguar or several, eight jaguars coming to camp. I would say it is, if you're using it in wartime, sure, send a jaguar in, that jaguar's getting a bullet in the head. But you might spook them.

I would say all these powers. You hear shit through it. I guess it's the same as hearing long distance. All these powers, granted, they're not like a direct frontal assault. These are all powers for an offensive and defensive uprising. I think if you had offensive powers, someone's powers would be, I have gun arms. Well, yeah, which is what we could do. We could be in the house getting gun arms.

I opened the door and I got guns for arms. So with shape-shifting, again, great to gather intel. Great to pretend to get in behind enemy lines. It's really good for spying. You don't want the kid to help somebody with a dead husband, but you send them to fucking war. Yeah, dude. Child soldiers are fine.

Jackson's seance scam. Yeah. Hey, man. Child soldiers are fine. Jackson's seance scam. Yeah. Hey, man. Not okay. It's wartime. We got to do some things that are uncomfortable. We're sending a 15-year-old boy to be a general or whatever. I suppose the little kid with the jaguar is like five.

So fair enough. So the mood controls the weather. And again, I don't know if it is mood controls the weather or it's just that they have they you know they like like say an x-man who hasn't gone to get professor x training is like my powers are out of whack and maybe with enough training to lend credence to that flower girl does realize she can make cactus so yeah their powers can develop and change so if they're more about controlling the weather again a frontal assault from the enemy. You making it rain. You're making it like just the mud and everything like that. They're fucked.

And then you have a higher position. I'm making it too hot so they get sweaty. That's also a good way to do it. No one wants to be sweaty during the war. Yeah, they're like, actually, we retreat. It's too sweaty, too hot. Today's too hot. Same thing about the whole, like, you can hear it in their head. Hearing long distance, yeah, that one's easy.

Seeing the future. These are all defensive. But you can use them as an offensive way. Yeah, but I think that they're built in to protect the family, not for the family to go to war. Well, yeah, because, again, they were the ones being attacked and persecuted. So it's kind of stemming from that.

They are the underdog. So you don't start with the aggressive thing if you're the underdog. You've got to be defensive. You've got to build. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fair. That's fair. Aggressive.

Well, in that case. Also, it's worth pointing out that this list has seeing the future as number six on the useful list. That's crazy. That's so useful because you're like, we're going to lose this skirmish. Okay, so we have to either mitigate or whatever. They can't really change the future. So, again, it's kind of like, okay, we're going to lose that fight. So let's just have,

we're not going to send as many troops. We're not going to send anything like that. And it's funny because they're like, with Bruno's prophecies, it's like, it's coming true. Yeah. We can't avoid that. We can't avoid this.

But they're like, let's just, some people are going to die. That's life. But let's mitigate. Let's draw straws. See who's going to cop it. Or it's just going to be like, okay, well, we know we're going to lose that.

So let's just like, I don't know, put up some mannequins or make some vine people so the enemy think it's people there. I don't know. I'm not the general right now. Yeah, yeah. Then we have, what is it? Talking to animals. Like, again, hey, jaguar, fuck those guys.

Send a jaguar in. Fuck those guys up. Send an elephant in. Send a hippopotamus in. Yeah. All the birds. Stop sending big animals that are easy to shoot. Rats.

Rats actually makes more sense. So does birds. Yeah. Rats eat all their food. Yeah, let's put an elephant in. What's happened to elephants with their population? I'm just trying to think. If you're hunting an elephant, maybe if you're on safari.

Yeah. Why is growing flowers for and seeing the future sick? Collider, what the fuck is going on? Yeah, I don't know. But growing flowers is really good for, because it's not really just growing flowers. Again, it's growing kind of... She'd make it a cactus. Yeah, she'd make it a cactus.

She could probably make wheat. Yeah, exactly. So she could feed the troops. Yeah. And then also if she can do like, you know, create things, can she then maybe kill their crops? Oh, yeah. Or could she use them as an offensive ability to be like,

well, we're going to maybe grow a lot of weeds where they're growing their food. Strangle soldiers with thorny vines she could do. Exactly. Poison ivy. Like in Annihilation where people just get turned into. Oh, yeah. Make a bear that speaks human.

Oh, yeah, make a bear that speaks human. With their powers combined, they could make a bear that spoke. That's true. Are you happy about this, by the way? Yeah. See how much easier that is? Well, not easier necessarily. See how silent that is?

No one listening will know that you're pouring anything. I was actually looking the other way and didn't notice you were pouring anything. And then when you said, look out, is this making you happy? I turned and it took me a second to even register what you were talking about. That's how gentle that pour was. So see, it can be on Jackson. Does it feel good for you? No.

Because you want it to like slush around? I like the blop, blop, blop, blop noise. Is it because it reminds you of drinking? It's just a satisfying noise. You're a nightmare of a man sometimes. Is that good for you? Yeah, it's a lovely noise. It sounds like I'm taking a piss.

A fizzy piss. Well, now it sounds fizzy, but the paw doesn't. Sometimes piss is frothy, so. Go on. And then we have exceptional strength and healing, which is pretty self-explanatory for how they're very useful in both offensive and- Strong and healing, sure. Yeah. The other power is being above seeing the future.

Crazy. Crazy. Yeah. And then, of course above seeing the future. Crazy. I know, it's crazy. Yeah. And then, of course, number one, talking to your house. I wouldn't trust my magical fucking house. Talking to your house is going to be- It's also not a power in the movie. Talking to your house has to- Or interacting with it, or a special bond, as they've put it.

Yes. A special bond with the casino. That has to be the worst. Yes, absolutely. Does she even get a room at the end? No. That's the point. I think it's so fucked up. She has to live in the. Yes, absolutely. Does she even get a room at the end? No. That's the point. I think it's so fucked up.

She has to live in the nursery like a baby because she doesn't get her own room. I would move out. Well, it seems like what the movie's suggesting is going to happen, and then they sing another song where everything's okay. Or it's kind of like you relied on your powers for so long to help this community, but really ultimately everything should come together and be regular people, and never mind. Here's your powers. Your powers come help this community, but really, ultimately, everything should come together and be regular people, and never mind. Here's your powers.

Your powers come back. You're welcome. Your powers come back. Did the candle relight? I don't think so. Why didn't you take Bruno's room? Yeah, well, it was awful. It was like a big sandy cavern.

Oh, yeah, that's right. It's this kind of thing of like, hey, this is like... Why did he make his room all fucked up? I don't know. Idiot. I would have made it nice. I don't think you get to pick the house yeah the house picks and this is where it comes from like the house wants you to go to war yeah the house is like we were built out of trauma that was built during wartime so hurry the fuck up and because it's a house it got shot by a guy

and they're like we gotta fight them and then they're like they don't know they're just a house why would a house making a terrible room for someone be good for war? That would be bad for war. Because you're putting a soldier at a disadvantage. I guess if somebody wanted to come and get your guy who can see the future, they'd get sweaty going up the stairs. Yeah, but like, your guy has to go up the stairs. I keep thinking that.

I would have every room would be a gym basically if I was making an army absolutely and I'd make guns out of my with my house powers I could make anything so why not I'd have a cannon for a hat if I'm the house I thought it was funny that the kid gets the animal kid he gets like a jungle room

flower girl gets a flower room Bruno should get a future room but instead he gets a desert fucked up room. But like, what can here wild girl's room look like? And like, when... It has to be like quiet. It has to be quiet or big. And like, also, when animal kid gets his powers,

it's like, whoa, all the animals are coming. It's so magical. When Strong Girl got her powers, did she... Did like a rock come? Did she get lift up? Or like, was it like... oh my God, my room. It's at a gym.

It's a gym. Okay. Am I going to do weights? I thought I was just strong. Do I have to maintain? I've got to maintain this? And like a cooking lady, the mom, she would have got no powers. It would have looked like nothing until the next time she cooked.

Or it's just like, oh, here's the, here's your room. Oh, hey, we have a kitchen now. Oh, I have to live in the kitchen? You gotta cook for the family. It's fine to live in the kitchen if there's a bed in the kitchen. I mean, traditionally, if you've got a bedroom and you've got a kitchen, you don't want to live in the kitchen, but if your bedroom gets turned into... I don't want a motherfucking bitchin'.

Oh, come on, man. You gotta get a bitchin'. Bitchin's a good... We lived in bitchins for most of human history, dude. I don't want to live in a bitchin'. Bitchin's a good... We lived in bitchins for most of human history, dude. I don't wanna live in a bitchin'. You had the fire in the middle of the house. Yeah. You slept on the floor and you loved it.

Yeah. You're like, God bless my bitchin'. I live with the pigs and my wife. We haven't figured out different room for the animals yet. Or chimneys to the houses. Where's Michael? We got fucking black lung or whatever it's called. I wake up every morning.

I say, thank God I'm alive. Sure, we figured out. Touch and go. We figured out chimneys pretty quick, right? Not as quick as you'd like. Because the problem is, here's the trouble of a chimney, right? When you're designing a house and you've never had a chimney before. Yeah.

You don't want a hole in the roof. That's true. That's where the rain and snow comes from. It's cold. But you do need to get the smoke out. So you want to have like a flue or you

want to have something that slants into the rain to get in. But that takes a while to figure out. Yeah. It's like we've got this hole in the roof.

What do we do? It's making me cold. Oh no. I'm dying. What do we do? Open it up. Now I'm chilly and cold and wet.

How do I figure this out? The rain keeps coming into my fire hole and wetting my fire and the fire goes out. I don't understand. We have two options. Cover the hole. Open the hole. That's it. How do you win?

Plus, there's so many years of human history where we had chimneys and then we, you know. Forgot about them. Well, yeah, like the Romans were like, here's chimneys. And the Romans left and everyone was like, fuck chimneys. I miss living in a bog. Was there ever any situation where they're like, we figured out chimneys. Then your enemies or like a neighbor that hates you just comes up and blocks your chimney. And you're like, oh, we got to get rid of this chimney.

Where is chimney now? It's taken a long time for humans to realize that smoke is bad for your lungs. That's true. So maybe they were like chimneys, like filling the house with smoke is bad for your lungs. That's true. So maybe they were like chimneys, like filling the house with smoke actually makes us warm off. Yeah, yeah. Speaking of smoke, is this a true thing or is it something that I

read and is a lie? Cigarettes are good for you? That's true. I think so. I figured. So the phrase to blow smoke up one's ass came from when people were drowning or they fished them out, the Thames or whatever, and then they got one of them little blowy things for the fire. Oh, like a bellows.

Bellows. And they shoved it up your ass and blew smoke in there as a way to try and revive you? Maybe. I have heard that too, but I don't know if it's true. I hope it's true. If I was in QI would the big blaring sounds come out and be like

dunce dunce dunce this fucking idiot this guy thinking oh shit I'm sorry I don't know anything

please don't hurt me I have room temperature IQ It was used to resuscitate victims of near drowning and it was also used to ease the symptoms of a hernia.

Oh. And it's, yeah, it's a back-oil smoke animal. That's awesome. Do you think it would feel kind of good? I reckon. Or at the very least, it would be funny seeing the smoke come back out. This guy's ass is on fire. Maybe I wouldn't get hogged

Yeah Yeah so Medicine at first was like Tobacco fucking rules Yeah As a tool A tool against both Cold

And drowsiness Okay Hey you cold Smoke a cigarette Hey you sleepy Smoke a cigarette What era was that in And when is Encanto set

Era wise Because could the house be like Welcome to the Open the door and guess what? Smoke them if you got them. I'm making house cigarettes for the family. You can call yourself Lucky Strike. Then, so it was 1776. Yeah.

Maybe not 1776. Yeah, I think it was a little bit after that. And then they were like, wait, if tobacco fucking rules for being cold and being drowsy, what if we put it in someone's asshole to treat gut pain, resuscitate victims of near drowning, and then if we make liquid tobacco enemas, it'll ease the symptoms of a hernia. What's the leap? From like, it keeps us warm.

Well, if you're drowning, you need smoke in your asshole. Yeah, how do you make the job there? Oh, that's so awesome. Uh-huh. The enema device has, they still have to smoke the pipe. Oh, dude. Like a human bong. Yeah, look.

So that line there, F to G, that's the pipe. So yeah, you literally, someone smokes a pipe into- And then they blow in like a tube or something. It's a pig's bladder. Yeah. So you blow into the pig's bladder. Yeah. And then you bellows the smoke into an asshole.

Yep. That's awesome. How long did they do that for and did it work? I reckon too long and no. Yeah. They stopped in the early 19th century When they discovered That the principal active agent

In tobacco smoke, nicotine, is poisonous Oh no We've been poisoning arses Across this great country We cooked it That's awesome dude I loved learning that It worked a bit

So 1811 is when they realised Because that was the first time That's awesome, dude. I loved it. I loved learning that. It worked a bit? That's what I'm guessing. By that knowledge. So 1811 is when they realized, because that was the first time. That's late. That was the first time that someone was like, hey, I've done tests and nicotine. It's bad for you. Yeah. But certain beliefs regarding the effectiveness of tobacco smoke to protect against disease persisted well into the 20th century.

Great to hear. Good stuff. Great to hear. Good stuff. Great to hear. Okay. All right. So I guess all that aside. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The reason they used it for... Hernias? Hernias. Oh, my God. The first time they did a tobacco enema was... They hung someone accidentally. What? All right, we're going to hang this person, pull the cord, someone else drops it. Whoa, whoops, whoops, whoops, whoops, whoops.

Somebody get the tobacco. So... What? So it was an appropriate treatment for apparent death because of the warmth and stimulation. Anne Green, a woman sentenced to death and to be hanged for the supposed murder of her stillborn child. The doctors then went back to the stillborn child and were like, oh, shit, this baby's still alive. That was a quick turnaround. Whoa.

They hanged the lady. Uh-huh. Were they quick? Yeah. It just seems to be like. Oh, hang on. Or maybe. You know, you killed your own child.

Oh, wait. No, sorry. Look, the baby stuff's still sad. So I think what happened is they were like, you killed your child. And then they were like, oh, wait, no, fuck. This was a stillborn. We've just hanged someone for the murder of something that wasn't their fault. Yeah, okay, okay.

And then they smoked the lady? And they smoked the lady, and she came back to life, and then they pardoned her. Oh, I'm so sorry we hanged you. How long between the hanging and the smoking? Yeah. What's the turnaround there? Because it's just kind of like they hang her.

Oh, shit. Oh, whoopsie daisies. Unhanger. Smoker. Smoker. Smoker. If that's like not instantaneous, what happened? How did that work?

Well, we buried her. Yeah, we had the funeral. Buried her in the backyard. Oh, fuck. Dig her up. Dig her up. That's crazy. And it worked.

That can't be. It worked. That's fucked up That's crazy And it worked It worked That's fucked up Well maybe it was What do I do? I'm not a medical doctor I don't know enough about, you know Smoking cigarettes or whatever Yeah, yeah

Heard they're good for my T's Yeah, yeah, yeah She was hanging for half an hour Guys No help Somebody better start lighting cigarettes Or I am toast Hanging for half an hour

I guess they didn't have the drop Yeah I suppose Like I said she didn't have that So she's just there Dangling Strong neck Strong neck Yeah yeah yeah Go back to school with Rogers and get Canada's fastest and most reliable internet.

Perfect for streaming lectures all day or binging TV shows all night. Save up to $20 per month on Rogers Internet. Visit Rogers.com for details. We got you. Rogers. Hanging would be a bad way. If you could pick a method of execution, what would you pick, do you think? Three shots to the back?

of the head yes gangland style Was the three shots to ensure that you're really gone? Yeah, yeah, that's fair. Anne Green had a truly fucked up life. Yeah, she didn't get pardoned because it was a stillborn Yeah, she got pardoned because she didn't die from that hanging so So they were like, God save her. She must be innocent. Sort of like trial by combat, but you're first in the noose. Okay. So they hang her. She gets hanged.

30 minutes later. Yeah. Half an hour past five. Friends try to pull her down after she's been hanged. A soldier then hits her four or five times with the butt of his musket to make sure she's dead. After half an hour,

she was believed to be dead. Yeah. So University of Oxford physicians take her for dissection. They open up her coffin the following day and discover that she has a faint,

a very faint pulse and is weakly breathing. And then they... What the fuck? They pour hot cordial down her throat. Hot cordial? Hot cordial? They rub her limbs.

They do some bloodletting. She probably has too much blood. That's one thing that I understand. That makes sense to me, yeah. They put warm towels on her breasts and administer a tobacco smoke enema. Dude, tell you what, taking all the blood out of this lady's made her tits freezing cold. And then they placed her in a warm bed with another woman who rubbed her and kept her warm. And then she began to recover quickly.

She started talking again after 12 to 14 hours of treatment and ate solid food four days later. Medical science used to be so cool. Guys, I feel a little bit my little tum-tum's a bit sore. I went to the doctor. He put me to bed. A lady just came

in and started cuddling me and now I'm feeling pretty good. And then, yeah, she fully recovered within a month. She just had amnesia around her execution. She couldn't really remember being killed. Somebody warm this lady's titties up and get her 50 cc's of hot babe stack. That's awesome, dude. Medical science used to fucking rock. Yeah, now it's like, this is radiation.

We're going to inject it into you. You're going to feel sick. Yeah, you're going to inject it into you. You're going to feel sick. Yeah, you're going to feel like absolute shit. Absolute terrible. Oh, you're going to lose your hair. Or you go in and you're like, oh, I feel unwell.

And the doctor's like, pay attention to it. Come back in a week. Yeah. And then I never make that I don't come back. or follow up appointment. Of course not.

They're like, hey, do this x-ray. And I'm like, I will do that x-ray, doctor. And then that slip sits in the bottom of my jaw for four years. Absolutely. And the pain hasn't gone away. But you're not dead.

No. You know? Whereas if I had some warm towels on my titties, maybe I would have fixed it. And some cigarette smoke in your arsehole. Once again, I would be so fixed. Imagine, it's so funny, the escalation of that. They're like, we'll give you some warm cordial You're like, thank you, thank you

They're like, how are your titties? A bit cold actually Okay, hot towels and the titties Do you need a cuddle? Are you lonely? We're also going to take some blood Okay, you probably have too much blood And not enough another woman

Right, okay Just let her cuddle you And we're going to blow smoke up your arsehole And you'll be right as right it's also so funny because the way that the enema would work is they would put it

in the person's arsehole and then they would have to crouch down and smoke it's so funny to be like we're going to give you a medical enema and you're like okay

and they like lay you on your side stick the tube in and you're like nothing's going in and then you just hear the you just happen to smoke in a pipe before you give me the enema? No, no, no, this is medical. I'm about to blow smoke up your arse.

That's awesome, dude. In this era, that means it's a good thing. Yeah, you want that. Yeah, it's funny then that because to blow smoke up someone's arse is to like kind of gas them up. But isn't it like you're gassing them up? Yeah, it's a negative. Like, that's funny, though, because to blow smoke off someone's ass is to, like, kind of... Gas them up. Gas them up. But isn't it like you're gassing them up?

Yeah, it's a negative. Like, come on, man. Yeah, you don't need to... Shut the fuck up. It's kind of like bootlicking to blow smoke off someone's ass, right? Yeah, well, I guess it is... I mean, it is bad to blow...

to give someone a tobacco smoke enema. Yeah, but it used to be for drowning. It used to be a good thing. It saved a lady from hesitating that guy it's like Nimrod right Nimrod was meant

to be like again a very good hunter bugs bunny starts mocking Alma Fudd sarcastically to call him Nimrod

and now we're like now he's a dumb guy now he's a big old idiot I guess it must have been at some point people started making fun of it because they were like

that was dumb we smoked into someone's arsehole we literally. We smoked into someone's arsehole. We literally shoved the pipe up someone's arse. We literally shoved smoke up someone's arse. Thinking it would be good. I wonder if, like, maybe there was some kind of, like, to refer to kissing someone's arse. Stop kissing their arse.

Maybe blowing smoke up someone's arse was bad for the person blowing the smoke because it was 1650. And arseholes were probably traditionally quite filthy. Plus, if the person blowing the smoke because it was 1650. And assholes were probably traditionally quite filthy. Plus, if you're blowing the smoke and a fart comes back. And then you're sucking up the smoke. I just smoked a fart. I just smoked a tobacco fart. A smoky fart. That's a smell that we will never experience.

Wow. Smells lost to time. That is a smell lost to time never experience. No. Wow. Smells lost to time. That is a smell lost to time. Tell you what. Anyway, so this magic house. Fuck this magic house. Well, okay. Would you trust it?

You live in the house. We live in the house. You got a talent. You got a door. So I guess this has to be before Mirabelle does all this kind of stuff. We are the next in line. Exactly. Kid before us, he gets talking to animals.

We touch the candles. And we get some sweet powers in line. Exactly. The kid before us, he gets talking to animals. We touch the candles. And we get some sweet powers. Yeah. Okay. I can, like Alex Mack, I can become, like, wet goo. The secret life of Alex Mack. You become goo, but it's not water. It's like...

It's almost like mercury. Okay. And it is poisonous. All right. I can turn into a chicken and lay an egg that can either... Two eggs. One that heals you and one that hurts you. My hands are knives. Not like Edward Scissorhands,

just two big knives. Do they have a handle guard? Or does it just go from wrist into knife? It's got a handle guard. Kind of like, imagine the reverse of when you're wearing a long sleeve shirt, how way your wrist comes out of the shirt. Yeah, yeah.

Except it would be the opposite where I would have no sleeves and then- Just flesh. Flesh to knife. And then the knife. Okay. But with like a wrist thing, I guess. Yeah. All right.

Okay. So we live in the- I miss having hands. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks, dude. Fair enough. Yeah.

I don't know what we could put you to work doing, really. Chopping. I guess you'd get good at using the knives. And I guess you'd be like, oh, he's got knives, that means he's good at chopping down trees, we would like. I would say no, these knives are for human flesh. Also, maybe for butchering.

Execution. Oh, I could kill a pig. I could kill a pig. I could behead a chicken Don't want Diamond to get Mixed up with the other chickens Are you permanently a chicken? I could turn into a chicken Okay

What if I have chicken features? Okay You're like a chicken man Like a chicken man I can lay an egg Okay And depending what I'm feeling like At the time Oh is this mood based? Or maybe it could be the mood based Again you know It seems like a chicken man. Like a chicken man. I can lay an egg. Okay. And depending what I'm feeling like at the time. Oh, is it mood-based?

Or maybe it could be the mood-based. Again, it seems like a lot of them have, they can't control that power. So it's maybe like depending what I eat, I can either do like a regular egg. Yeah. An egg that's like, oh, extra goodness. Okay, a healing egg, yeah. Not a healing, like, I would have got a healing with food. Like a nutritional egg?

Or like an egg that soups you up? Gives you the juice? With Mario's... Mario sucking down a mushroom gets bigger and stronger. So it's an egg that makes you juiced. Yeah, like a juiced egg. An egg that will kill you. An egg egg.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can I tell the difference between these eggs? Or am I in the kitchen like, fuck. One of these is a juiced egg. Sweat dripping off of it. I hope this is a regular egg. I'll just put both in. I'll make a cake with all of them.

Surely the juiced egg will even out. It'll counteract the evil egg. I reckon it'll be to do with the shell. Okay. So like the egg that will kill you, maybe. Crossbones. Sculling crossbones on the egg. Yeah, sculling crossbones.

Then like. The juiced one's got a bicep. Yeah, bicep or big thumb up. And then an egg's an egg. A regular egg you don't have to fear. I feel like. Maybe the egg, the regular egg can just say egg. It's got an egg written on it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like, yeah, it's just like size of if I could lay an egg as a man. Yeah. How big would that egg be? If you could lay an egg. a man. Yeah. How big would that egg be if you could lay an egg? Like an emu egg? Emu egg. Good luck, brother. Do you get a cloaca out of this?

Of course I get a cloaca. And I imagine I get broody. Okay. Your bedroom is just one big nest. Yeah. A lot of hay everywhere. Your bedroom is torn apart. I'll get like sweet little backwards knees.

You're really transforming into a man sized chicken yeah yeah yeah yeah you become one of those horrible chickens from that video that gets shared around

of like it's like normal chicken normal chicken and that horrible monster chicken that monster chicken coming out of the house yeah I was thinking like

combination of like bra like a little brahmin chicken and like a beak from the X-Men yeah yeah awesome I really like your room.

It's just you with like your pillows exploded. You're black and you're just sitting there so upset. I wish it also gave me gloves. Yeah. I could have knitted you some. Just like there. I'd cut through some. Yeah.

Leather sheaths for your hair. Yeah. Do you need someone to help wipe. Yay. You're going to slice your asshole open. Fair enough, dude. I hate this house. But yeah, like even without our fucking powers,

the house, like if you just live in the village, I'd be so scared. Yeah, like, oh, okay, the house has created someone that can hear all of my secrets. the house has created someone that can hear all of my secrets the house has made I would feel like that they

at some point I was like there's going to be a rebellion against us yeah okay because you've got two things going on one if you're living

in the house and you're like this idea if you believe the grandma's propaganda that we're here to help everybody and so then you'd be like I just want a day off

but here I am I have to help everyone fix their own bullshit but I just want to just I want'd be like, I just want a day off. But here I am, I have to help everyone fix their own bullshit, but I just want to just, I want to be left alone. Or just hang out. And then, yeah, you've got that having that.

And then you also then have the villagers who are being like, why couldn't I have been special? Why couldn't I have been born to that? And then they try and have a whole thing of trying to marry into the family.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Because then your status in that village goes up. And I'm closer to the candle. Maybe if I touch the candle, I'll get spells or whatever. If you have a cost fireball or whatever, you know. Would you, okay, yeah. So if you thought that the candle gave you powers,

would you just try and touch it? Yeah. Yeah. No, as in like. What was the, what? No, no, no. So say like this mug. Okay.

Yeah, sure. But if nothing happens, are you going to then try and up the word? No, no, no. So say like this mug. Okay. Yeah, sure. But if nothing happens, are you going to then try and up the ante or are you going to be like, oh, okay, I touched the candle and nothing happened? Would you try and lick it? Would you try and like eat it? Take a bite? Firstly, I would touch the candle and nothing happened. I'd be like, I've got to do my research.

Then whenever there's that ceremony to see what the kids do or whatever, I kind of pay attention. How old are they when they get their powers? The movie says, but I can't remember. Well, the young one ceremony to see what the kids do or whatever, I kind of pay attention. How old are they when they get their powers? The movie says, but I can't remember. Well, the young one's like, what, five or six?

He's like five or six, so it's pretty young. But, because actually, they get their powers from touching the doorknob, not the candle. Yeah. Good point, good point.

I've seen myself being like, why isn't it working that we're at the next ceremony and we're like, ah. So we push a kid out of the way and touch the doorknob.

Grab the doorknob. Would the house give us powers? No. That's rude. Also, when things go wrong, the door disappears, because that happens to Mirabella. Oh, yeah, that's true. That's true.

Yeah, it goes away. It goes away. So she was meant to get her power. I wonder what that power was. Yeah, the house didn't want to give her a power. Could you? While the ceremonies happened. Gun hands.

Yeah. Rush to the front and be like, oh, let me help you. Oh, let me get this door for you. And steal their powers. That's a good idea. Or would the house be like, sorry, you're not part of the family. You ain't getting shit. Then you fucked it up for the kid. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then you're an outcast. Yeah, the town puts you on a donkey, slaps the donkey's ass, sends you off into the wilderness. Off a cliff. We hate donkeys in this town they do donkeys get so fucked up dude a donkey's tough

but it's not that tough no yeah I think if I was in the that community as well if you're like hey this is nice that I say

you know I'm a farmer or whatever yeah nice and I like tooling with like the ground and the soil and this is I get joy out of doing this.

And because I can provide food for my community, this is my sense of helping out because blah, blah, blah. And then someone comes in and they start lifting up my donkeys, plowing the fields for me, and just doing everything. I'm just going to be sitting there being like, well, then what do I do? I'm going to start, I don't know, do I drink? What do I do now? I start making fuckable puppets. Fuckable puppets? Yeah, I've like... I'm a star. I don't know. Do I drink? What do I do now? I start making fuckable puppets.

Fuckable puppets? Yeah, I got nothing but time on my hands. Why fuckable puppets? Out of everything. You always need them. Name one scenario where you don't. In the history of humanity, what group does not need fuckable puppets? If I had a fuckable puppet right

now, that would not make my day better. We're not here in the studio. In the privacy of your bedroom? Yeah. You don't have access to pornography. The idea of jerking off hasn't quite come across your head. What about making love to my husband or wife or other? They're away.

They're out. They're out. So your plan is, okay. I'm like, hey, the family is taking over every single role. I'm going to invent sex toys. I've got nothing but time on my hands. I'm going to invent fuckable puppets. Because no one's figured out jerking off yet.

Well, no, it's like a sex doll. Yeah. But extra. Sex doll, but extra. What is a, hang on. What is a fuckable puppet? Like a hand puppet? No, no, no, no, no.

What do you mean like a marionette? It's like a marionette. Okay. This has been the dream scenario. Pay me a picture. You come to Jackson Bailey's fuckable puppet emporium. Okay. They plow my crops so you can plow my puppets.

You pick from an array of beautiful puppets. You enter the stage. No one's watching, but it's set You enter the stage. No one's watching, but it's set up like a stage. I'm in the rafters. I have the T-bar of the marionette. This service sucks.

You pull your trousers down. You are turgid. My puppet walks up to you and gently lowers onto your member and then with a delicate, dexterous movement I make love to you through the puppet. So no one's watching except you

and also I'm getting fucked by a literal puppet like Pinocchio. Yes. You've just done fucking being John Malkovich. That's my business. I hope your business closes down immediately and no one comes to it. I think if I was fucking a pussy or an asshole

with this puppet, that would be really difficult. Because to get the right thrust with just my hand, I think it's not impossible. Just someone grabbing it and being like, you know what, I got this. Laying it down and just riding it. You there being like, no, my dream!

You're doing it wrong! You're fucking wrong! You're fucking wrong! Maybe I can have it so that the penis is on a sort of crank and I twist it at the back before they begin. Like an old, like I guess an old timey fucking machine.

And then I, you know, manipulate it from the rafters and the dick's just doing that. Like kind of like, um, the thing that George Clooney's character makes

in Burn After Reading. In Burn After Reading, yeah. Where it's like, it pushes back and with like a rhythm. And then just by pure physics, it's making love to you.

Why does this feel like this is your lifelong dream it's an idea I just had that fuck the house fuck this fuck Jackson's fuckable

fuckable puppet emporium I feel I feel if we were part of the family initially there might be this nice way of

I don't have to be in the community but then this the whole thing about like why is it up to me I didn't want this responsibility especially when I'm a surly teen, to kind of go through that, to be like, why am I having this responsibility to this? I didn't ask for this.

I don't want this. It sucks now because I don't even like animals, and I can talk to animals? Yeah. It's true. It's so funny that we're approaching this from two different ways because you're like, oh, the burden of these powers, I'm seeing myself as a villager being like, these pieces of shit think they're better than me.

And then, yeah, and then like, I didn't, in the village, I didn't ask for help. They just came in and started plowing my fields. I wanted to plow my own fields. Absolutely. Let's make fuckable puppets. And let me tell you, no one wants that. There is not a market for it. Jackson smoking a pipe over here in this conversation.

Yes, they do. Oh, yeah. How many have you sold today? It's lucrative, I only need to sell one One a day That's enough Also you're selling an experience not a part of it Yeah really, it's not about the money, it's more about love of the game

Well I mean what am I, I don't need Everybody takes care of everything else for me Because like yeah, that whole little tiny family They've taken care of everything that a community can do Like sure I can grow crops But then it's like, and also it'd be like I can, they've taken care of everything that a community can do. Like, sure, I can grow crops, but then it's like, and also it'd be like, I can grow crops, but then you've got that person over there who can, with a flick of their hand, make these crops incredible

and what would take me seasons, they just do like that. What's the point? And I'd be mad that they can do that, and then I'd be doubly mad that they're not doing it now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it's funny because in the movie, prior to everything that happens with Mirabal or whatever, they're not doing it now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it's funny because in the movie, prior to everything that happens with Mirabal or whatever, they're not growing your crops.

Yeah. You see the girl making flowers, and you're like, I can't eat flowers. Can you make anything else? You can't eat flowers. Yeah. Really, the only person that's helping nonstop

is a strong person. Yeah. And they have a whole song about that. Yeah, and they seem a little unhappy. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Everybody else's power is the way they use them. Like, I don't know, how does the listening well lady help the community? Yeah.

Doesn't. She doesn't. She doesn't. How does the flower lady help the community? Makes it pretty. She makes her bedroom pretty. Oh, sometimes she makes the town pretty. She puts roses around.

She makes the town a beautification of the town. It's nice, I guess. She makes herself pretty because everyone wants to have sex with her. That is also a part of the pheromones or something. Yeah, yeah, that's true. I guess now we have a guy that can talk to jaguars. Our jaguar attacks have lowered. Yeah, that's good.

That's always a bonus. That's a real problem. Maybe he can talk to chickens to be like, hey, just hold still. And then he cut off their heads. Hey, hold still is chill, dude. It's chill, dude. Why is it? Why?

I don't know if I like the- Hey, hunting chickens is easier. How did the village- Were the chickens wild? Why are they hunting them? Well, you don't even need them on a farm now. You can just hunt them. They can be free range chickens and then you don't need to catch them. What do You can just hunt them They can be free range chickens

And then you don't need to catch them Do these chickens know about You got the free range chickens He comes up to them He says Hey chickens Hey chickens go in the house You wanna come with me

And the chickens are like I know a fucking house I'm not coming in the house Dude you're a chicken You don't know Jack's shit No bro We've changed We've changed

We actually go in there You know there's actually Like a chicken paradise In this house Yeah yeah There's actually a fuckable chicken parrot. A parrot? A fuckable chicken parrot.

Wow. We know every chicken desperately wants to fuck a parrot. Because that's like a beautiful chicken. Yeah, we understand. In the hierarchy of sexy chickens, parrot is number one. Every chicken. It's so beautiful and colorful and fuckable. Every chicken stream bird is a parrot.

So there's one in here. You're not fucking with me, bro? No. You're not fucking with me? Tell me there's a sexy parrot in there? How would I come up with this? Okay, dude, I think it's all good. Yeah, everyone. Let's go.

It's holding your little knife hand out and they all walk in. They always fall for the fuckable pirate line every damn time every time killing chickens has never been easier yeah wow so I guess a lot of the ways I think I'd trust this

house I think I'd be an order to the family if they were helping it'd be like well what am I doing now and if they weren't helping I'm like why aren't they helping? Why aren't they helping me? I'm unsatisfied. I'm stroppy and difficult. I would move.

I would have to move. Yeah? Fuck this town. No, fuck this town. Yeah. Okay. But also, like, I mean, like, I also wouldn't be able to live in, for example, Canberra if the prime minister lived next door to me.

Like, you're fucking up my shit. Yeah. And if you're helping too much, I hate that. Get out of my house, prime minister lived next door to me. You're fucking up my shit. And if you're helping too much, I hate that. Get out of my house, prime minister. It's bad to be so intimately aware of the seat of power. Yeah. You don't want to know. Keep it abstract.

Yeah. Plus, again, the small town politics would be crazy. Yes, oh God. Plus, again, the person that can listen to everything, I'd be so paranoid. Yeah, absolutely. I'd be like- Vow of silence.

Yeah. Who died and made them king of this village? And they'd be like, oh, the grandfather died. The grandfather. Oh, fair enough. Yeah, okay. Yeah. But then I voiced that, and suddenly I got flowers growing into my asshole.

Not at all. Flower animal. I think I'd also be kind of pissed off when the movie happens that I'm like, their internal family politics nearly ended the paradise I live in. Yeah. That's annoying. You just can't be happy. Fuck the house. Burn down the house.

Imagine things were going great and that they were helping. You had like, you know, strong lady helping. You got like the person who's like, you know, growing crops actually doing that. You got the weather witch being like, I'll help you out and like water your plants, et cetera, et cetera. And then, yeah, all this internal politics and suddenly they have no powers. I became so reliant on this. Yeah, absolutely.

Now I've got to do things with my own bare hands. I was busy fucking that book. Everybody's a light at the front, dude. Round the block, people have heard how good it is. I'm the only one not there being like, what is wrong with you? What is wrong with you? I hate this damn... Don't knock until you try it. That's. I'm the only one not there being like, what is wrong with you? What is wrong with you? I hate this town.

Don't knock until you try it. That's all I'm saying, dude. I'm sneaking in and I'm cutting the strings. No! Dude, that's fucked up. We will like some. You're getting the donkey. You're getting the donkey treatment.

You're getting the donkey treatment. Everyone's mad at you. Jax's fuckable puppet was the backbone of this town. It was the one that was holding us together. More than the family. It was the glue holding this town together. Fuck this town. I'm moving. I was holding this together. More than the family. It was the glue holding this town together. Fuck this town, I'm moving.

I hope this donkey takes me to a grave. And then off the cliff you go. Yeah. Rest in peace. Would we trust the magic house?

No. No, probably not. And if we did trust it, we would then be disappointed by it. Yeah. Fuck the house. Fair enough.

Never meet your heroes is the lesson. Yeah, I think so. And on that note, I've been Joel. I've been Jackson. I've also been Joel. This has been another meet your heroes is the lesson. Yeah, I think so. And on that note, I've been Joel. I've been Jackson. I've also been Joel. This has been another episode of Plumbing the Death Store.

And Encanto, you fucked up town. Fucked up place. Don't visit. I don't think Encanto's the name of the town. Yeah. Plus, you know, tourism hasn't been booming since we got these fuckable puppets. Hang on, what? It's not the name of the town.

Encanto's the name of the town. It means like a miracle. It's the miracle. It's like an en It's not the name of the town. It means like a miracle. It's the miracle. It's like indicating. It is an encounter. The town's a miracle. What are you saying to me? Is Maribel kind of maybe, does that mean miracle?

No. That's a fucked up miracle. A miracle is your normal. Does encounter mean enchantment? Maybe. Enchant more? Enchant more? Go back to school with Rogers and get Canada's fastest and most reliable internet. Perfect for streaming lectures all day or binging TV shows all night. Save up to $20 per month on Rogers Internet.

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