Quick Question with Soren and Daniel - All Fonzies, No Squares!

Episode Date: January 9, 2023

Daniel's a sick boy AND vacation boy! Also the guys speak spanish for a while, so make sure you send them tweets correcting them, they love that! And as always big thanks to our sponsors.  Go to Shopify.com/qq for a FREE trial. Thanks RocketMoney.com/qq.  it could save you hundreds a year.

I've got a quick, quick question for you, alright? I wanna hear your thoughts, wanna know what's on your mind I've got a quick, quick question for you, alright? The answer's not important, I'm just glad that we could talk tonight So what's your favourite? Who did you get? What do I be? What's it up to? Where did all that go? Did we not? Oh, forget it.

Saw a movie, Daniel O'Brien. Two best friends and comedy writers. If there's an answer, they're gonna find it. I think you'll have a great time here. I think you'll have a great time here. So, hello again, and welcome to the first Quick Question episode of You Thousand Funny Me, the podcast hosted by Søren and Daniel, two best friends and commentators who ask each other questions and give each other answers. I am one half of that podcast. Senior writer for Last Week Tonight. Author of How to Fight Presidents. And once again, sick boy, Daniel O'Brien.

Joined as always by my co-host, Mr. Soren Bui. Soren, say hello. Hello. This is really becoming, unfortunately, this is becoming like a thing for you. In that you became a sea person for a while. You became an island person. You became a golf person for a while you became an island person you became a golf person right this is the new identity i'm trying on yeah yeah you're sick people now yeah yeah and you're sticking to it in the same way where you're like you're gonna do it for three

months straight yeah it's an interesting group you know me like listeners of the show now i long for community all the time so like just hanging out with other sick people I just it's really bonding and unlike you know when you're a sea person if you're a fisherman and you hang out with a fisherman there's no guarantee that you're gonna perpetuate that relationship but if you're just a couple of sick people breathing on each other spitting on each other you're gonna see that person again at the next sick person meetup because by some weird coincidence they're also sick just like you are. It makes me so anxious even to think about – obviously, there's nothing wrong with two sick people.

We'd probably have the same thing, hanging out and like breathing on each other and kissing or whatever. But just the thought of two sick people being that close to each other really really makes my skin crawl yeah there's an episode of new girl where some kind of gnarly flu spreads from every member of the loft and it just becomes this weird like a den of mucusy exhausted sick people watching weird off-brand uh european children's television together and just like the house falls apart and they're all just like mucusy and shitty around each other and it's it's it's very uncomfortable it makes me really unhappy because i know yeah that there's like a humidity to that room and it's also surely you can't get more sick, but it feels like you can. It feels like that's not good for you to be around all that expectorate.

Right. Thanks to Rocket Money for supporting our podcast. Rocket Money will quickly and easily identify your subscriptions for you so you can stop paying for the ones you don't want. Stop throwing your money away. Cancel unwanted subscriptions and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash QQ. Thanks to Shopify for supporting Quick Question. Shopify is a platform designed for anyone to sell anywhere, giving entrepreneurs like myself the resources once reserved for big business.

Sign up for a free trial at shopify.com slash QQ. It is, I think it's just, it's just me. I was, I took another one of my little trips and the very last day, which was last night, I was in Cancun. It was great. Best vacation of my life. And then just the very last night, like really out of nowhere, I was like, oh, everything, everything is wrong now and i don't yeah i don't believe it's covet but i can't really point to anything there's a chance that uh i consumed foods that i'm not allowed to because at the resort where i stayed they ask you every time you go to any meal if you have any allergies and i i say see like teos yvos. And there's always a moment where I don't think lacteos travels quite the way I want it to

across languages. I don't think lactose intolerant, I believe it exists everywhere in the world, but me saying I can't have lactose, I don't think that is like in a scan for anyone so there's but they will but everyone's very accommodating so they say yeah okay no problem no lactose no huevos and then uh they might not necessarily think oh everything here is cooked in copious amounts of butter so it might be like i ate a lot of butter or egg based things that may be sick or another theory is that

yesterday was incidentally the day that I went scuba diving so that it might just also be like some kind of scuba related sickness yeah that's right I'm pretty sure that when I was in Costa Rica and I threw up blood it was because of scuba diving

yeah how far did you how far did you go down oh I'm sorry not scuba diving yeah how far did you how far did you go down on the scene oh i'm sorry not scuba diving so not scuba diving i was snorkeling oh yeah i i don't know i'm not certified scuba diving that's fine but uh it was otherwise a great trip and it took me to my my first question my first quick question uh soren how was your how was your New Year? How did you ring in the New Year? Oh, yeah, that's fucked up because I'm a dad of young children.

I won't celebrate New Year's for another 14 years. I go to bed at 10 o'clock, and that's an hour after my wife has gone to bed. And then maybe I might wake up sometime around 1230 or 1 because a child is crying or sniffling and then you come back and you sort of sarcastically say happy new year to your your yeah business partner well i don't know i think my my my brother and sister-in-law did i think uh british new year's this year where they celebrated at 7 they do a countdown at 7 p.m. our time and do the whole celebratory thing and then go to sleep at their normal adult parents' times. Yeah, I'm realizing now that it wasn't kids that woke me up.

It was people texting me Happy New Year on New Year's and me being mad about it. People are sleeping. I'm the Scrooge of New Year's. People are still texting each other Happy New Year's? Yeah. That sucks. I'm the Scrooge of New Year's. People are still texting each other Happy New Year's? Yeah. That sucks. I know. Isn't that fucking below?

That was definitely something that I feel like I remember being excited about in college when I would be with my college friends and also texting my high school and other friends. And I'll still text my family at midnight for New Year's, but I don't know. I'm 36.

I don't... What are you doing? Who are you texting Happy New Year to? What are you getting from that? If I got a text from Cody Johnston saying Happy New Year, I would block his number. I'd be so mad. It would be like him texting me and being like blood mood

tonight fucker so you didn't do anything at all that day to acknowledge it though well we drove back from Tucson it was the second day of our trip driving back from Tucson on the 31st we got in like midday and

then that night realized it was new year's eve as we were putting the kids to bed we were like oh shit and then didn't do anything i think maybe i watched uh some of bullet train and then it's fun right that was it it's i like it i like it a lot it's a blast this is now the type of movie that I sink into, is the type of movie that's, it's very fun at every second where I'm not like wanting to check my phone. I don't have to feel too much about anything. I'm not too invested in anybody,

but it's all very watchable. Yeah. And everyone in it is- They're great. Very cool. Like every character is just cool. They're all, you're not supposed to have that many cool characters in one movie. they're supposed to be like one Fonz and then a bunch of squares

but this one's like nah it's it's oops all Fonzies everyone's got a weird quirk and they're all cool and they're all highly stylized and I just love it I saw it in theaters and then I watched it again on a plane and I remember after I I saw it the first time around, some coworkers were talking about plot holes, not making sense. I was like, shut the fuck up. How do you even have time to pay attention to plot holes?

There's 11 different awesome fights in this movie. It never stops moving. Everyone's having a good time. It was as someone who watches movies way too late. And the fact that I even got on board with this one with this expiration date, like that I'm, I'm very close to it right now,

which is fantastic for me. Uh, I was looking through it and I'm looking and I know everybody in it. And then one of the twins was this dude I had never seen in my entire life. And now he's everywhere. The, the,

the Brian, Tyree Henry. Yeah. The guy is like super in shape like this guy is super yoked he i was like who is this guy he's wonderful and like he plays a heavy in it in a way where like there's a lot of trust there this is clearly somebody that they like they know is a star yeah and i'm like well i don't know where this guy came from. And now everywhere I look, he's around. Yeah. This, I've known that actor and almost all the other actors in that movie, except Bad Bunny, who was a real revelation for me.

What a cool fella. He doesn't get a ton to do in that movie, but he's just like, the second he's on screen, you're like, hey, that guy's pretty cool. Hey, he dresses cool. He walks cool. He talks cool. He looks really angry. What a cool guy. And then he's just like the second he's on screen you're like hey that guy's pretty cool hey he dresses cool he walks cool he talks cool he looks really angry what a cool guy and then he's and then he's dead in the movie and uh it was humiliating for me to learn that he is

consistently the most popular artist in the world and it's not even close i once got into a a private discussion with a co-worker who's a little bit younger than me that blew up into a writing staff discussion because she was talking about Bad Bunny to me, and I had no idea who that was. And I was talking to her about Alfred Molina, and she had no idea who that was. And so we had to open it up to the group, and we were like, which one of us is crazier? Beloved character actor, Alfred Molina. He's been around forever.

And she's like, Puerto Rican hunk, Bad Bunny, who's been selling out stadiums for the last five years. That's, I, you just like, you realize how out of your depth you are with culture. As soon as somebody brings up a human being that somehow just exists in your blind spot and you're like, oh no, I had none of these before. I had no blind spots. I need to get glasses.

Yeah. Yeah. I really, it was such a foolish gamble of me to not look into him during this conversation because I would have learned that bad bunny is the most downloaded spotify artist years running and alfred molina is like a that guy character actor from frida so that so it should have been pretty clear spider--Man? No. That's such a bummer. Alfred Molina is wonderful.

I also felt, I mean, that this also made me, made me think that maybe Alfred Molina is just an important actor to me and my family, because as I'm trying to prove my point, I'm like, he was in the first 10 minutes of Raiders of the Lost Ark,

Indiana Jones. And what about, lest we forget, Maverick. We all love Maverick as much as I do, right? No? He's in Boogie Nights. Right. Ah, he's important.

He's a cultural touchstone. Yeah. He did some shit, I'm now realizing. I'm looking through all his movies, I'm like, oh yeah, okay. Oh, did some bad ones? Some real dog shit. He was in the Prince of Persia movie.

Oh, yeah. I think it's possible that he didn't have his really great thing. He's just been quietly good in everything that he's done, but he hasn't had a Michael Stuhlbarg moment where you get a great monologue in call me by your name or something like that, where you can point to and say like, this is Alfred Molina. Right. Shining.

God, there's gotta be something. He was so, when everyone found out he was going to be Doc Ock, I felt like everyone was like, wow, they got like a, they got a real heavy actor for that. They got a ringer for this. Yeah. And now I'm looking through it. I'm like, what? Abduction? Is that why everyone thought that? Yeah. Why did we think that? Why were we so excited as a nation that Alfred Molina was

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What did you do for New Year's? You watched some of Bullet Train? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I watched some of Bullet Train, and then I went to sleep, and then was mad about fireworks, and then I was mad that people were texting me. I did. It was nice, though, in that I had this...

My children have been sick since September. They get everything, because of course they do. But then all of a sudden, everything for Christmas and for New Year's just cleared up. We traveled to Tucson and there was this weird confluence where none of the other kids were sick either. And all these kids hung out and not one of them was worried. Like we weren't worried about like the snotty one

or anything like that. They were all just completely healthy made no sense and then throughout new year's and so now i'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop i'm waiting for you they've both gone back to school and i just know we're gonna be right back in it yeah that sucks um what did you do dan thank you i uh my my travel buddy and I knew that we didn't want to be anywhere cold around new years. And this was like, like, I think the whole country was going through a cold snap right

around the holidays. That was very terrible. And we just booked a nice resort in Cancun for the first until the fifth. And it was great. It was, uh, uh, really nice beaches cancun's amazing uh great food pools all the all the stuff that you expect there were the i want to i i want to be very clear that i had the time of my life uh as i now very characteristically will segue into my list of complaints. Just keep in your mind that I am very happy.

But this is less of a complaint and more of a very... So there's a New Year's celebration on the... Oh, we got in the 31st, not the 1st. There's New Year's... So we went to the New Year's Eve party, which was on the beach. And they had a live band. And they had like dancing dancing and and food and drinks and giant 2023 statues and it was just start to finish a blast so much fun the first

weird thing that happened um someone dressed as the mask jim carries the mask was there no one else was dressed up as anything there was just one the mask and my and my buddy very casually like it was the most natural thing in the world just said oh the mask is here and i turned i was like oh yes indeed and then we later saw the mask in like a lot of the uh pamphlets and advertisements for this resort so the mask is pretty big for parties in Cancun, it seems. What? I know. Did it just get there?

It's this year. Huh? Did it just get there? I'm wondering. It's just like, oh, good, the mask is here. And then here are all these pamphlets advertising where the mask will be next. But the mask isn't even a New Year's movie.

What is going on? Do they have it for other holidays? One of the posters featured the mask in the yellow suit and a quote above him that said, It's showtime. Beetlejuice's quote. The mask, to my knowledge, doesn't say it's showtime the mask says smoking and somebody stopped me stop me yeah yeah um so that was one weird thing the other weird thing that i i really oh and the joker says it oh no he knows he says here we go

that's right that's right um this really made me laugh in the moment in a way that uh is probably very insensitive when there was 10 minutes before uh the the countdown which by the way is too much time it's too much time to hold anyone's attention at the towards the most important part of the party they played a video they had a big screen on the beach and they played a video and it was all about like a reminder of how much how much fun this year was and there were just like clips of a lot of really fun tiktoks what you would get if you just sort of were like browsing through tiktok like corn kid was on there and there were cute animal stuff it was just like really really fun, dope things that happened this year. And then about halfway through the video, inexplicably, it went to text on screen that said,

But remember, it wasn't all fun. And then a smash cut to coronavirus footage. And like the queen dying. And every sad thing that happened this year. Which is like I i all the trauma yeah i guess i kind of understand that like yeah if you want to sum up the year you can't just do corn kid and goats screaming but like you open with funny stuff then did really like i'm telling you a really jarring cut to people in hazmat suits and a bunch of headlines about COVID on the screen. And then with maybe two minutes left,

they were like, but we can still laugh. Right. And they went back to, back to tick tocks again. I was like, I don't know guys. I don't know if you,

if you got the pacing of this exactly right. Just a very, I was really amped. I was at like an 11 and then he brought me down to a one and now i guess i'm gonna settle for like a four with these tiktoks i think that might be a cultural thing i think it's like the you feel everything bigly yeah you feel it all huge and then you're at the end you're like ah my life right and you like grab onto the people around you and crush their bones between your fingers because you love them so much sure like crush their bones between your fingers

are you a giant i'm trying to think of a small nut bone to do that with like when you grab their ears and you're just like you like you love someone you just like grab your their ear and you just twist until you hear the cracking sure of course all right that makes sense yeah um but yeah like when you like it just makes you squeeze the people closer to you that much tighter because you're like ah the good times and the bad you guys are here we're here together i will go that extra inch with you on the football field right oh yeah fun new year's and then because i am the age that i'm at it's let's let's do this countdown and then let's immediately go to sleep please it's midnight this is absurd i was on a plane this morning i was gonna ask yeah so you you ran out of steam oh yeah yeah easily okay

sometimes this getting to those new places it just gasses you like you're somehow you just get this energy from nowhere and you're like well my body's different than everybody else's i'm i'm super human and i can do this yeah well i will we were extra exhausted and i will say i hate to point to paint with a broad brush here but i in all of my many stupid journeys and trips i've never felt more like uh scammers abound than i did in cancun the second we got off the plane uh we're we waited forever to get baggage and then we're going towards the exit and we have a shuttle that we're looking out for and a very official looking man in like a sports coat and a tie could see that we're looking around. They're like, hey, what shuttle are you looking for?

And we told him the name of the shuttle service. And he takes us to another guy. And we sit down with this guy. And the guy is like, where are you from? Here's where I've been in America. He's joking. He's laughing. We're talking about college sports.

And he asks us, we tell him the shuttle. And he's like,'re talking about college sports. And he is, he asks us the, we tell him the shuttle. He was like, oh yeah. And he draws a little map of where our shuttle is going to pick us up. And then he keeps talking to us about what we're going to see while we're in there. And we really just thought like, this is a guy who is like a very helpful, friendly guy. And maybe he knows we have to kill time before our shuttle gets here but no he is uh trying to set us up with a time share type situation not not not exactly a time shares like time shares i understand it uh when we were growing up it was something that would happen in florida and i know they do it in like vegas too where if you take like a three hour tour

of this property that they're trying to sell you, you get five tickets to Disney for free. It's like the cost of doing business. You have to sacrifice some time so they can hopefully sell you on a timeshare and then you get your free family Disney tickets. That's not the way I've understood it, but go on. And this guy was talking to us about Isla de Mujeres,

which is a small island off the coast of- Island of women? That's right. It's off the coast of where we were staying in Costa Mujeres. And he was like, you got to go there. It's like, if you don't go, that's like going to Vegas and not gambling. It's so great.

You got to get a boat to go out there and just like spend the day there. And now a lot of the boats, they cost 140. If you want a boat with air conditioning, it's 149 per person. But for you guys, I'll give it to you for $90. All you need to do is come to my hotel. And he's showing us videos of a different hotel than the one that we're staying at. And my travel buddy, who's savvier than I am, is like, why are you showing us this hotel that we're not staying in? He's like,'s savvier than i am is like why are you

why are you showing us this hotel that we're not staying in he's like no no i just just want you to see it and like you come by and visit and check it out and uh if you do that then i get i'll get you discounted tickets for this for this trip and we were uh it's starting to dawn on us both now that it's like oh we have to spend 90 minutes at your hotel, getting a tour of it. If we want to earn the cheap tickets for this excursion that we want to do. And, uh, I don't, I don't feel like doing that. I don't think I'm going to want to travel from my hotel to another hotel to have a 90 minute breakfast there. And it's also, I need to stress again we just got off the plane so like we need i i want to put my stuff down and i'm just now realizing that this man has been trying to sell me on some new thing for like 20 minutes and uh we keep saying like yeah well we'll

we'll think about it we we will we'll think about it and and and we'll contact you he's like great uh i just need your names we give them contact you he's like great uh i just need your names we give them our names he's like okay uh so i'll just need uh a credit card like no no we're not gonna give you a credit card i don't understand like just give us give me a credit card and and i'll put the 80 charge in like no we're not gonna do that okay uh we'll just put down 40 and if you don't if you don't do it then you get refunded completely And so we're like, all right fine if I lose $40 to this timeshare scam, then that's fine I need to leave the situation and we finally left and that's when we like double back to be like So where's our shuttle again?

Like oh, yeah, there's one of the guys in the orange vests out there will help you It's a thing that we could have figured out if we had ignored everybody but instead it's a very clear plot of one guy who knows I'm going to ask these dumb tourists a question and then bring them to one of the people that I know is trying to sell them something.

They're in on that together. So we felt immediately bamboozled and then when my buddy was getting our shuttle in order, there's a margarita stand set up right outside of the airport. And I see that and I'm like, I'm going to wash away this feeling of bamboozled and I'm going to get us each margaritas and we're going to start our trip properly. What a fun thing. We could just like get these margs and take them in our shuttle. I said, two margaritas and we're going to start our trip properly what a fun thing we could just like get

these margs and take them in our shuttle and said two margaritas please and she makes the margaritas uh fifty dollars u.s dollars yes dan wait i know where you're you're like at it i'm i'm at the airport okay yeah so you're like atreya so So, and you ordered margaritas, but you're like, you're beyond with the, you already have your bags and everything, right? You're no longer with them. And we're outdoors of the airport. Like we've gone out the doors and there's just like a stand where she's selling margaritas in association with Margaritaville, I think.

$25 a margarita? Yeah. And was it served in a six foot tall glass boot? No, it was a normal margarita glass. And you paid it? We sure did, buddy. And there were fewer opportunities

for us to get scammed because we spent so much time on the resort. But when we did go to Islamaharis, there was more of that vibe everywhere we went. Where it's like, oh, that coconut drink looks cool. Oh, it's $30? Okay.

We'll wait on the boat. We'll wait on the boat until it's time to go back. Fuck, dude. Really fun trip. Total blast. Strongly recommend it. Everyone, more than anywhere else I visited, they were very patient and encouraging for me to practice my Spanish. Everyone that I met could see that I was trying,

and they would engage with me in conversation, and that felt good. That's very kind of them. Do you find that you understand Spanish better than you can speak it? Yes. That's something that's changed in me over time. When I was first learning Spanish, I was like, if as long as it was in my head and I was putting it out there, I could do it. I could do it. Okay.

The minute somebody started talking to me in Spanish, I was like, hold on. We're going to have to dissect each of these. Was that, were those two separate words or were, was that all just one big long thing? And, uh, and now as I've gotten older, when I, I'll, I understand Spanish really well. Um, like I, it's totally functional. I can get by just like listening to somebody that's talking Spanish, but the minute I have to speak it, I'm like, well, hang on, hang on. Let me write this down so I can conjugate it. Right.

Cause when I, when I'm, I'm speaking it, I still don't have all of the words that I want to use. And so I have to take a very long route to explain it. Like when someone asks me, when they ask me if I speak Spanish and I say, si, quiero aprender, estudio con una aplicación en mi celular todos los días. application in my cellular daughters los Diaz which is like longer way of saying yeah I used to do a lingo then then I would like so I have these like very clunky academic ways of explaining myself but meanwhile if someone is talking to me I don't get every word but I get enough of the words that I can put together the context of of what they're trying to tell me right the gist is always there yeah sometimes you yeah i guess maybe that's all

i'm getting is like there's i was trying to understand everything when i was younger maybe and now i'm just like come on get to a word i know leche okay we're talking about milk baby can we talk about notifications for a second? Who actually leaves those sounds on anymore? Cha-ching! Well, besides that kind, that's another sale on Shopify. Cha-ching! The all-in-one commerce platform to start, run, and grow your business. Whether your thing is vintage teas or recipes for ghee,

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where I had the transport, like you pay for scuba, you get a lesson one day and then you, as a refresher, and then you go on a boat and jump off the boat for two dives and you get transportation to the marina and transportation home from the marina.

We did the dives. It was great. Get back to the marina and transportation home from the marina we did the dives it was great get back to the marina and uh my guide was like he had some like very tense hush spanish conversations with other people who worked there for a while and then he comes back to me he's like bad news our transport was supposed to take us to the hotel at 2 30 but they left without us so now the next transport isn't until 4 30 so we would have to wait two hours i was like hey that blows uh my buddy is back at the resort and we'll be unhappy about that and also i'm pretty unhappy about that i'm very hungry

and uh i don't want to wait in this marina for two hours and he disappeared for a second and then he comes back and he's like i might have some good news i called somebody and i think i could arrange a private car for just us to get back to the resort but the thing is uh we'd probably have to give the driver some money and i said how much money would we have to give to the driver he's like i you know i think anything would probably make the driver happy and i said okay well i didn't bring any extra money for the driver i have your tip and that's it that's the only cash i have is the money that i was going to give to you and i still want to give that to you because he did a really good job but i don't have any extra cash for the driver so and then soren like magic a transport appeared

oh god a transport that was not a private car yeah and i think it was clear uh i don't think it's a coincidence that as soon as the math became hey guide you either get the tip or the driver gets the tip then we no longer lo and behold we no longer had to contract a private driver yeah i felt like that was a real exhausting it is yeah awesome looking out for stuff like that and i find i mean i don't know whether your travel buddy is a is a boy or a girl but when i uh travel with when I used to travel with my wife and also when she was my girlfriend, two things would happen. One, I was way more aware and hypersensitive to this kind of stuff because I felt like I was the last stop between real dangerous situations and us like falling into some sort of trap and then the second thought i would have was like what she speaks spanish better than you do like it was just like this weird machismo thing that like i was dealing with like my own um male hang

ups of like i'm the one in charge and so i was constantly getting scared and then mad at myself. Yeah. Travel. I just, I understand that, that everyone needs to make money however they can. And I know that it times can be tough all over, but it's, I, I'm just so,

I, I'm, I'm so dumb and trusting. And I think everyone knows that. And that's what makes it like you said exhausting where it's just like no i just you know that i can't get from here to the resort you know that i i have no power to do that uh i can't call a lift and i don't know how the taxis work please just just be cool about all this, please. The way you handled that is so good.

I don't even think I would know to do that in that circumstance where you were like, hey, that sucks. How much is it going to cost exactly? I was like, I don't know. Because of course it does. And then you were to be, then just to give him the choice of like,

well, you're either going to split the money between this guy and you, or I'm going to give it all to you. Right. And you're not saying the amount either. You're saying, I brought an amount and some of it's going to be, I mean, I want it to be a tip for you. Yeah.

And I don't want you to have to share it. Now what? Right. My position is very much, I'm not supposed to pay for the transport. That's included in the price of things if if everything he said was true and things did go wrong and we did have to rely on a buddy to get us home if that's all true that's fine it's still i'm not going to be the one who gives my money to the surprise driver he can make that his decision my guide can make that his decision

like if you want this amount of cash to go from your hand to his hand you have to make that exchange i'm going to give it to you because that's what i want to do and that's all there is to it and this is what i have yeah yeah that was really good that's such a mature thing to do fuck i would have handled it so much worse than that i would have done it i would have gotten mad i would have gotten indignant and i would have been like no that's not look i i'll pull it up right now it says the transport's included i'm like we'll just have to call them get them back here because i can't wait that long i somebody's my my travel buddy's pregnant and we need to get back because i she might be going into labor at any minute for like i minute. I would just come up with reasons

why this wasn't fair to me. And I'm also her doctor. She needs me. It's, I think, I've lost it all now at this point because I'm sick and I just had a day of travel.

But I was in this situation on day four or five of a peaceful wonderful perfect vacation and also immediately after scuba diving for 90 minutes which is itself an incredibly zen meditative experience for me so as much as i'm sticking to my guns with this guy i'm also like you know i'm prepared to stay here until 4 30 if what you said is true and we can't we can't get a transport until 4 30 that's a real bummer um but i will stand right here in the sun and uh and and that's just what it's gonna be or i will walk five miles if I think that's going to be a better plan. And like, I'm texting my buddy who was like, this is outrageous. I will go, I'm going to go to the

ATM right now and I'll get cash so I can meet with the transport here. And he's like, no, no, no, no, no. Don't worry about it. Yeah. Yeah. I was just communing with the fish and bonding with sea cucumbers i don't what even is money at this point what's time what's 90 minutes who cares you know what it sounds like sounds like you saw a turtle buddy did you see what languidly swimming across your path i didn't unfortunately see a turtle out in the ocean. I saw a ton of really cool fish and eels, which eels are really climbing up the ranks

for some really dumb looking animals. Oh my god, I love it. I love their fucking dumb ass faces. They're so goofy. These fucking clowns. I can't remember who it was. Somebody at one point, it's just a shame that I don't fucking clowns i can't remember who it was somebody at one point uh it's just a shame that i don't have the i can't put the credit to this but somebody had tweeted that uh eels always look like they just told a joke and no one is laughing they're just waiting

for people to laugh their big stupid wide eyes that are there they're always smiling and they're not quite sure mouth is always wide open for whatever reason. They got those stupid teeth and braces. Yeah. I love them. That's great. That's great. I could just imagine you swimming around on there, looking at the fish being like,

oh, I'm going to catch the shit out of you someday. Oh, my one scary wildlife encounter. I woke up very early the same day, the scuba day, and I wanted to run on the beach before the sun was up and maybe catch the sun coming up when I finished my run. So I ran down in dark and was like using my phone flashlight as light to see. And I went probably a mile south on this beach and three huge beach dogs started barking and chasing me feral dogs huh were they feral i don't know i didn't uh ask and i know that like sometimes dogs chase you and they want to hurt you but sometimes if you run by a dog they think you're playing and so they were

like running with me and like i immediately turned away and started sprinting and put my hands up and said, no, it's okay. Estabien, estabien. And kept running. And like on the blind faith that these were playful dogs and they would stop chasing me when I got far enough away from like, where they were hanging out. And it so happened that I was right.

But it's one of those, I'm sure you've had a million of these these a vacation moment where you do something really stupid and you don't realize how stupid it is until way too late i'm so lucky that those weren't feral mean attack dogs or anything else i decided to run in pitch black on the beach before anyone was awake in a foreign country yeah and then it took three dogs scaring the the my nuts off for me to be like oh yeah you know what this could have been anything this could have been this was this was always a stupid idea of me to do yeah lesson learned a lesson that no one else needs to learn um i've told you before that i worked at a job where i would occasionally have to go chase bears

out of people's hot tubs um that we would see bears and this was that this was at blockbuster right yeah blockbuster we would we worked in these cabins and like people in their cabin be like there's a bear in my yard or whatever and like we would just go up there and we'd just be really loud because they're just black bears and black bears don't really in want to interact with humans but there was one time when i went out there and i was like yeah yeah i'll go get this bear went out came out their screen door and i saw the bear in the backyard it saw me and i was like hey hey bear bear and i started like clapping and stuff and the bear looked at me and then took a step towards me

and i was like oh no this was all such a bad idea why did i think i could do this i had not anticipated what was always going to be like a 50 50 shot of what the outcome could be right i had just gotten lucky so many times i was like this is life i'm the luckiest guy in the world and then the minute it took a step towards me i was like oh shit like it's like screamed like kind of like pulled the door shut behind me and everything and i was like ah i don't know what to do i'll get some pots and pans and see if that works but it was like it was terrifying i don't know what the bear was thinking it was like oh that looks oh it's like it would be tasty just move a little closer see what it does um man this guy's talking a whole

lot of shit saying hey bear hey bear let's see let's see what he has to say i've definitely had those experiences on trips too where i'm just sort of like i'm like reckless i'm uh i'm like traveling and starting to feel good and like because you feel so not good for so much of traveling where you're just like you're an awkward person in a new place. And you always look that way. And I hate feeling like the sore thumb. And so as soon as I start to kind of know a place, I get confident real quick. And like, I'm like, I'm in it.

I'm feeling good. And it's so like, it just takes a fraction of a second for you to realize, I don't know this city or I don't know this wilderness at all. Yeah. I don't know this city or I don't know this wilderness at all. Yeah. It's really, if something had happened to me on the beach at 6.30 in the morning, my friend sleeps in and also would probably wake up and assume I was running at whatever time they woke up and would just not know where to look for me if something had happened.

And that's the kind of like very stupid planning that, uh, I will completely forget about the next time I'm on a trip. I mean, the fact that you run with your phone is helpful in this very one isolated. Um, I'm glad that you told me the story, Dan,

and you told me about being people trying to trick you. Yeah. Because I have a story that I need to tell you and i need you to try to help me figure out if this was a scam or what was going on okay um yesterday i was in the grocery store and i was in the pet section doesn't really affect the story too much other than this is such it just like i'm giving you color i think it's helpful to remind our listeners every once in a while that you have a cat because doesn't really affect the story too much other than this is such a, it just like, I'm giving you color. I think it's helpful to remind our listeners every once in a while that you have a cat. Cause you never talk about it. I never talk about my cat.

So I'm trying to like buy some kitty litter for my roommate. And I, as like, I'm looking at him, this timid voice goes, excuse me, sir. Excuse me,

sir. To the point where I think it's somebody on the phone trying to be polite. And then I look over and there's somebody standing there next to me and i need to describe the person to you this is a man wearing a uh crypto hat it said like crypto lithium or something like that on it he had on glasses sunglasses yeah in the can i make an early prediction for scam wearing sunglassesaring sunglasses in the store. He's young. He's like 23 or something like that.

And he's got his phone with him and he's talking to me. Also, he's wearing a hat. Like his bangs are down under the hat. Like they're not tucked up into it, which is like not an earnest way to ever wear a hat. It's like the way that they make hats. Kids wear hats in commercials. It's like that kid doesn't own that hat uh it like it could be a wig for all i know yeah so this guy he's like excuse me sir and he's like would you go to this house and he turns his phone to me and there's a picture of a house like a zillow front yard picture of a

house basically and it's fine there's nothing it's not house, like a Zillow front yard picture of a house, basically. And it's fine. There's nothing. It's not the Bates Motel or anything. Right. And I'm like- Would you go to it? Yes. Would you go to this house?

And I was like, for what? And he's like, to bang. And then he does this, he makes fists, and then he does kind of like this, like motion, like it's kind of like halfway between a thrust and a dance, like to bang. And I was like, no man. And I started turning. He's like, no, not with me. If you were me, would you go to this house? And I, I like my first instinct was pure rage. I don't know why I'd have to now like address this later.

Like why, why I got so mad, but I was like, why the fuck would you ask me that? And he's like, I don't know. I thought I'd get a second opinion. And I was like, what? Like I said, I said, what, what does the house matter? Why does the house matter at all? And he was like, because it matters.

Like he's like treating it like I'm crazy for not answering his question and uh i'm like don't ask me that question ask one of your friends that question why i'm a stranger to you why are you asking a straight and i'm getting like irate like i'm kind of yelling at this guy and i'm like why are you asking me that question and he was like i just wanted you looked like maybe i could i thought maybe i could get an opinion that's i'm sorry to have interrupted you and i'm like mad and then i start like trying to rationalize my anger so i'm like if you can't just ask a stranger that question think of the onus you're putting on me if something happens to you at that house i i will feel terrible if i see you on the news. Like I'm getting these inconceivable circumstances where I'm like now getting angry that he's put me in a situation where I chose

for him and he's been murdered there, which is not going to happen. No, that's not any of the places where my mind went. But I'm like reeling and I'm angry for a lot of reasons. One, that he came up and gave me that question with no context. Two, that the context he gave me sucks so hard. And then three, that he's still going and that he's treating me like I'm the crazy one. Like it's making me more crazy and mad. And I'm getting very upset with him. He's just trying to like calm me down and be like, it's just a question.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. And then I just grabbed some kitty litter uh no uh kitty liners like liners for the litter box and throw them in my cart and i start to walk away and he goes i have a cat too and that was it that was our interaction and then as i was walking around the store i'm still thinking about it horrified i'm gonna run into this person again and just thinking like why were you so mad soren you could have just said yes or no and that would have been the end of it i could have been like yeah fuck it

i don't care or like right no i wouldn't go to that house and that would have been it because i think my my best guess for what he wanted to do was to to brag to you because you're a a cool and handsome guy and he wants you to think that he is the kind of guy who gets invites to have sex uh with a homeowner and that he has the the freedom to turn them down i think he wants you as a a strange a stranger but alpha seeming male to be impressed by him oh that's a very generous look on it i don't know he still kind of sounds like a dirt bag yeah i think he was a total a young dirt bag which was really disheartening um but yeah i was so mad and then started thinking i wonder if it's a guy trying to build a brand, like a prank brand, because he's wearing sunglasses inside.

This is the kind of weird questioning you would get if you had, if somebody who's bad at pranks was like, I'm going to do a prank show. And they had some sort of camera in the glasses. Like, hey, would you go to this house? Would you like to have sex at this house? And thinking what their line of questioning is going to be. And I derailed that immediately. and that was the problem but right or if the prank is they're trying to trick you where you'd be like yeah i would have sex in that house like

well guess what buddy it's david duke's house how do you feel now i felt pretty bad um and and then i started to think well if i'm on camera, is there anything that I said there that was really like embarrassing? And I was like, well, I'm not so happy with how emotional I got, but I think all my rationale is fine. I think that everything I said is okay. With the exception of the first thing I said was,

I don't care. It's a house. Who cares what the house is like? You're having sex. I do like that as your genuine first reaction, that the house is not important. You're looking for logical flaws in what is clearly a different kind of situation. Whatever the truth of it is, we'll never know. But your immediate reaction was, why should the house matter?

As if in an ideal world, he'd be like, you know what? Yeah, you're right. I should only do it for love. Thank you. This is important for me to learn. It's the person. Yeah. Yeah.

And I think what I meant by that was, you're not giving me enough context. Like the house matters. There's seven or eight things that you need to consider before the house. And I don't want to hear any of those things. So I'm just going to try and cut this off by saying it's not about the house man it's about the heart yeah um in the the silliest way that i could think of but i think i think prank is probably very likely the more more that i think about it the fact that he's using the word bang and doing like doing the hip thrust like like a kind of an intentionally awkward yeah mime of that yeah yeah it seemed like he wants some kind of reaction from you he's a new youtube

pranker so he doesn't really have it all figured out yet he just assumes it's an easy thing to do and he's like all i need to do is is say something kind of inappropriate to a stranger i will get a reaction and that will be content. And I don't think he knew what reaction he wanted, but I'm certain you didn't give it to him. No, I did not. And then the other part of me was like, is this a scam?

Is this somehow a scam that I accidentally derailed? Well, not even accidentally. Like I derailed from the jump. Like what could the next line of questioning have even been if I had been engaged with him? If he was like, hey, yeah, okay, thanks for your advice. By the way, here's some other thing that's like unrelated, but that is now I understand how this relates to money. Can you give me some money to get there?

Like I was supposed to be able to put money there. I wonder what he would have done if he had said, would you bang in this house? And you're like no do you have anything in like a ranch style yeah i don't i don't like i don't really like stairs i'll tell you what i like terracotta do you have any like um mid-century uh like a missionary old spanish missionary style thing yeah i'd go to the valley for that oh god i would travel all the way to antelope valley oh my god i'm getting horny just thinking about it oh the steps hey yo can you send me that can you send me that house

the address no no just send me the picture of that house let me see the living room i won't air drop it to me i'm not weird oh this house is so hot uh the the so the house itself had a dry it was a it was garage forward like not only was the garage out in front it was on the very front of the house and the house kind of rose up behind it in one of those weird ways like just to get in the front door you got to walk up some wood steps around the side which is like yeah not i've been to some airbnbs like that before i've been like that's a bummer but and i certainly wouldn't live there so i think probably if i was being honest and it was a friend who had asked me that i'd be like no i don't fuck with that house yeah that house sucks i think even if

if a friend did ask you that you would your reaction would still be like what does the house matter that's still a reasonable first response if i had said hey soren would you go to this house to fuck you would be like who what have you done who i and i yeah i think he was so like confident that it shook me when he was like when i said what does it matter he was like because it matters and then he was like, when I said, what does it matter? He was like, because it matters. And then I was like,

there's things I don't know about the world of like dating and stuff because I'm completely blind to it all that you probably have to look out for that kind of thing. If he's gay and he's going to some other, like another guy's house, like there, there's a real threat on multiple fronts. One that you're like

this could be somebody who's like trying to homophobe was trying to like lure gay people and then it's terrible to them or that this is like a you get drug type of situation like there could be a lot of things that's true i hadn't considered that there is an outside chance that this person saw a dating profile and then saw this house and it doesn't match up and something feels sketchy and uh they figure who are the most trusting and supportive people in the world other cat owners i'll ask this guy you can't you can't you can't own a cat and be an asshole so i'll just right we're in a we're in a brotherhood i was also as soon as i said you should watch you should be asking your friends this question i also had this moment where i was like oh fuck look at you you don't have friends

that was mean of me i shouldn't have said that uh walking away after i paid and everything and i got my groceries in the car i did have this moment where I felt really good because it took me until then to even realize, oh, this would be a fun story to tell Dan on the podcast, which means that it didn't happen in the moment, which means that I'm still having authentic experiences out in the world. Oh, that's great. While I was on the beach watching a video about coronavirus for New Year's Eve, I was like, I know what I'm going to talk about Thursday. This is,

this is money in the bank. Oh, thank God this happened. Oh, I had nothing. This is perfect. Yeah. It wasn't until that I was like,

oh yeah, I'll tell Dan about this. Oh my God. I'll tell Dan about this. Well, do you have anything else or should we wrap things up? No, let's wrap it up.

I can, I can do it you're sick alright well we're going to wrap up the show there I feel like that's a good ending spot you can follow Daniel on Twitter as long as he's there and me Soren as long as I'm there Soren underscore LTD

you can also find quick question there at QQ underscore Soren and Dan every single episode that we drop quick question there at QQ underscore Soren and Dan that will every single episode that we drop. If you follow that QQ underscore with Soren and Dan, you will see every single time an episode drops. You can email us at QQ with Soren and Daniel at gmail.com. Um, we, I want to give some thanks because I can't tell you to go find this person and

hire them, but I wanted to give thanks to our producer and sound engineer and editor. Uh, that's Gabe harder. Although in this case jacob weinstein who's filled in a couple of times and he's been outstanding so you can i don't know find him i guess and uh you can also oh uh if you want to find more music from our the people who created our theme song that's me rex and you can find them at me re Rex dot bandcamp.com. Okay. Bye. Bye. So what's your favorite? Who did you get? What do I be? What's it up with? Oh, forget it I saw a movie, Daniel O'Brien Two best friends and comedy writers

If there's an answer, they're gonna find it I think you'll have a great time here I think you'll have a great time here I think you'll have a great time here