Quick Question with Soren and Daniel - Carry the Ep on my Wayward Soren

Episode Date: November 17, 2022

This episode has everything, food talk, tons of Soren, Sick Daniel. All our classic hits!  And as always thanks to our sponsors.  Thanks RocketMoney.com/qq.  it could save you hundreds a year. Thanks Raycon!.  For a limited time, go To buyraycon.com/qq and enter code EARLYBF for 20% off your entire Raycon order.

I've got a quick, quick question for you, alright? I wanna hear your thoughts, I wanna know what's on your mind I've got a quick, quick question for you, alright? The answer's not important, I'm just glad that we could talk tonight So what's your favourite? Who did you get? What do I be? What's it up with? What do we talk about? I saw a movie, Daniel O'Brien When will I be remembered? Was it out there? Where did all that go? Did we not? Oh, forget it.

Saw a movie, Daniel O'Brien. Two best friends and comedy writers. If there's an answer, they're gonna find it. I think you'll have a great time here. I think you'll have a great time here Presidents. And once again, sick boy, Daniel O'Brien. Join us at WeFoundMyCo with Mr. Soren Pui. Soren, say hello, but please not too loudly. I'm loving this new sultry voice you've got that you're working out, Dan. It's like I'm doing the podcast with Jessica Rabbit. Oh, thank you. I was just in Baltimore last weekend. I've been sick for what feels like eternity now eternity now which is a cold that won't die and i was in baltimore people now yeah uh with friends over

the weekend uh they were in an airbnb i was uh isolating in a hotel because i could i still had to work on the weekends and i would catch up with them after work every day and it was just almost cartoonish how bad my voice was when they would greet me and ask me if i was feeling any better and be like 100 let's go let's fucking party there's baltimore's got a casino did you know just when you can't even help your voice from cracking anymore. You just sound terrible. Well, that's a bummer. Was there a lot of expectorate?

Was it that kind of sickness? Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's just been unpleasant. You can't sleep. Yeah. The other stuff about any kind of cold or sickness is just like my life is not my life right now it's not just that i'm i'm coughing and i have a sore throat and a stuffy nose i'm also not sleeping well i'm not going to the gym i'm not

running unless i'm really like forcing myself to just have a bad run and i'm also just kind of like a little bit lazier around taking care of my house so like everything is just off right now and uh uh and yet i'm still doing this podcast it's good that you're doing it um we kind of have to get them out of the way because we've got some holidays coming up so like just like so people little peek behind the curtain to see how the sausage is made we're we hate december because it makes it really difficult to do the pop you can't travel with microphones and stuff like that. So we kind of try and cram them all in into one little window. But I'm glad that you're doing it.

I'm glad I am too. There's a podcast that, one of the only podcasts that I listen to, Hollywood Handbook and The Flagrant Ones, both hosted by the same two guys. And one of them was just audibly very sick on a podcast recently. And I was listening to it thinking, why wouldn't you just take off? It's unpleasant to listen to you. And now I'm in this position. I'm just like, I can do it. I mean, I'll do it. Whatever. We shot an episode of After Hours back in the day where we were out in the desert. And it's like one of the only episodes of After Hours where we are not in the diner. And we're just like stranded.

The premise of it, the conceit, is that the car has broken down. Surely because Michael did something wrong. And we're sitting out in the desert. And I'm getting sick that day. Like I've got a fever. And like I'm in the beginning throes of it. And you are like in medias res. like you're in the middle of a sickness. And so you can barely talk.

It's a very weird energy. I can't remember which of our directors was directing that one, but they're doing like the good guy thing. If you're dealing with a self-conscious performer and they're just like, it doesn't sound that bad. It sounds worse in your head because you can hear it. But, but, but honestly you sound,

you sound fine. And I've, I've watched that episode back. I'm like, motherfucker. I knew I sounded like shit. Why would you? There's also some weird improv tangential stuff.

Like at one point you and I fight over a stick and like, yeah, it's just a very loose episode. i don't remember what the premise of it is we fight over a stick that's fun yeah yeah we i'm like holding a stick and at one point you grab for it and i'm like it's my stick and then we see we like hang on that for a little while thanks to raycon for supporting quick question you can shop early, skip the stress, and snag some of the best deals of the season on something everyone will love, premium audio products from Raycon. Right now, go to buyraycon.com slash QQ and use code earlyBF to get 20% off site-wide. Thanks to Rocket Money for supporting our podcast.

What's Rocket Money? You've heard us talk about Truebill, lowering bills, canceling subscriptions, and more. Truebill has changed its name to Rocket Money. Start canceling your unused subscriptions and save money at rocketmoney.com slash QQ. So I'm glad that you're mentioning sickness, Dan, because I think that everyone in the world might be sick right now. Uh, well, everyone in the superior hemisphere, um, is sick right now because the weather's changing. And I mean, my children are at school, so I've got my finger on the pulse of sickness and it's, it has been a slog here where like we moved from one sickness to the other in

the course of about four days in my family there was no reprieve from sickness where you thought oh antibodies are up kids won't get sick for a little while uh for but then immediately they they both got sick again and they got sick with one of the worst ones and i don't know if you are familiar with this virus because i don't think i had it as a kid it's called hand foot and mouth uh i i've never had it it sounds familiar but i don't know what it is i don't i maybe i just maybe it sounds familiar because i uh yes i know all those words never together as a team yeah well it's uh to give it its full name it's hand foot and mouth disease which sounds really intimidating yeah and what happens is that first your kid gets a really high fever.

Then they get normal sickness stuff. They get snotty nose, sore throat. Then they develop blisters on their feet, like in between their toes, their feet get very, very itchy. They develop blisters on their feet,

blisters on their hands and blisters outside and inside their mouth and throat. So blisters on their feet blisters on their hands and blisters outside and inside their mouth and throat so blisters on their tongue god blisters in the back of their throat and then at a certain point all these blisters pop and your kid is just in enormous pain and sick uh for us it didn't go quite that badly i i heard a lot of horror stories and people sent me pictures of their children when it was happening. But Ronan got blisters in his throat, which was tough for him because it makes it so hard to eat anything.

And other than that, he got some on his toes, but they weren't terrible. He got very high fevers, though, like dangerously high fevers. And then Gilly had kind of like normal fevers, but then she just got her hands and feet just got covered in these blisters and it was oh it was just such a brutal sickness to like

have these kids home and just pain yeah a buddy of mine brutal for me brutal for me yeah uh because you have stuff to do i wanted to work out and i like, I'm missing weeks and it's not, I'm not the one who's sick. A buddy of mine got an ear infection and got, he's sick right now at the same time that I am, and he got a blister on his eardrum and the doctors were like very surprised by it. It was affecting his hearing and it was just like and a tremendous amount of pain and very unpleasant and one night he was waiting in the emergency room to be seen by

doctors and he just couldn't wait around anymore so he left and that night when he got home um the blister on his eardrum burst and then all that fluid drained out and i have all the sympathy in the world for my friend and it seems like it's got to be a very difficult time soren i ask you doesn't that sound like it would feel fucking great did he say what did he say did he say it was really nice to like no he did not that cathartic experience oh but man that sounds terrific it does it does have some abscess where you can't reach it and then to have it pop it would be like the dream just release so much pressure in your head man so when we remember at my birthday you came out here for my 40th we all went up to a little

mountain town and we hung out and it was wonderful i was sick uh leading up to that and then i was like on the at the tail end of a sickness when we got there. So I'm recovering, but I still have a lot of like built up mucus in my body. And we drove up there. And as we rose in elevation, you go from basically sea level up to 5,500 feet pretty quick. And when we got up there, I was in so much pain in my face, like, uh, just in my forehead and in my nose, I guess it's my sinuses, but they were, there was so much pressure built up in there, uh, that I was like, I'm not sure I can do this. Um, we went to this grocery,

stopped this grocery store first up there. And I just sat in the car and I was like, something's got to change. Like, I can't even see it. So it's so painful. And it just felt like my whole face wanted to pop. And then Colleen gets back in the car. She's like, how are you? And before I could say like that, I don't feel well, the screaming noise comes out of my nose. It was like, it was a deathly howl that just like escaped from my nose and it was just the pressure coming out of my like it had found its way through whatever the air bubble was it found its way through all this snot and it just

like released and made this horrific noise and I just went oh it's all at once I felt better but she was like what the fuck was that just me making a terrible scream from my nose and then coming Because all at once I felt better. But she was like, what the fuck was that? Just me making a terrible scream from my nose and then coming. Yeah.

The question was, how are you? I mean, great. Great. But yeah, my children, they were just like we get these when you have a family where the children are the ones who are your incubators, like they're the ones that pick it up first. You just get these salt the earth sicknesses. Yeah. That run through the whole family and you just want to burn everything down. And then on top of that, when it's bad weather, like if it rains, you're like, we're never escaping this. There's no light at the end of this tunnel.

Yeah. I do think this comes from children for me as well. The day before Halloween, this is around when I started getting sick was Halloween. And the day before I was at this park near where my brother and sister-in-law live, because there was like this Halloween children's parade and festival thing.

And then we went back to my brother's house after that uh for like a a good old-fashioned kid's party he got a bouncy castle in the backyard there were snacks and like the i'm sure you've experienced this too uh he has just accumulated so many little kid friends now uh my brother and and and i i guess his his son uh there was like a shocking amount of families with kids like where do you how do you know all these people are they all from school and like some of them are his friends that also have kids and some of them uh just seem to be like neighborhood kids and there was uh one little girl that nobody knew and they didn't know her parents either this was just a little girl who showed

up in a princess costume with her parents uh to this party and uh i was talking to their parents at one point because i was in the house exploring. And then this little girl was like by herself also exploring the house because she just wanted to see the rooms. And I was like, I don't think you should be here. We're at this point by my account, we're the only two people in the house. And I don't like that. Let's go to another person. And then I meet someone and they're like, oh yes, I'm Madeline's mother. I'm like, okay, great. And I was talking to David and my sister-in-law later and they're like, who the

fuck is Madeline? And I'm like, nobody knows where this family came from. Anyway, the point of the story is that was a lot of time for me being around a million kids. And then 48 hours later, I was very sick and have been sick since then. So this is where I think, yeah, I think that in the arms race between immune systems and, and viruses, like viruses really build up their arsenal and cut their teeth inside children. Like that's where they figure out, okay, we've got a little bit of time to work here because these kids are gross. And like, they're just these humid little sweat factories that like, that the virus really has a chance to try some new stuff out in there and be like, well,

what do I want to be next? And then, then, then obviously then it gets spread to everybody else and it feels like a brand new virus to everybody. Yeah. Well, I definitely hate it. And I've been very unreasonable every single night telling myself and anyone who will listen I think tomorrow I'm going to be 100%

I've not gone to a doctor or taken any medicine I've just been drinking fluids and I'm confident that one more night of sleep I will be back to my old self and then I'll wake up at like 3 in the morning knowing that my awake because of my throat And I'll still just think like,

hmm, it's really only got got a couple more hours to wrap this up, guys, or else you're gonna make me look like a liar again. It's amazing. It does. It feels like your body's a little bit magic in that regard where like occasionally you'll have a fever or something. You'll be like, maybe this is just one of those things where I get a fever for four hours and then I'm better. And the only reason you ever think that that might be the case is because sometimes it's fucking true. Like sometimes it's weird. Like you just get these sicknesses where you're like, I had something terrible where I thought I was going to die for 24 hours and now I feel great. Yeah.

I did make myself uh soup last night and it was so good i don't want to talk a lot of and we just had the the cook chris christian with with super and dan episode pan super and pan yeah where all we talked about was how how good our food is but this friggin chicken noodle soup that i controlled start to finish and and made it exactly the way i wanted it it just absolutely hit the spot and i i for the most part of the week i did um i indulged in one of my worst uh sick habits which is uh postmates garbage food because i'm already sick and i don't feel like cooking and i don't feel like shopping uh and i was like well as long as

i'm i'm gonna be not healthy today let's really steer into the skid and let's get some mcdonald's or some panda express and then it wasn't until thursday this week that I really made a dynamite chicken soup from scratch. And I was right. It was exactly what I wanted and what I needed. And I hope I get sick again so I have another excuse to make it. Because I almost never make chicken soup. Walk me through it a little bit. Are you using like a few silly noodles?

What are you using? Just like cheap ass egg noodles. Okay. Really nothing fancy. Are you pulling the chicken? Is it shredded? It's shredded, yeah. Cook it first, then shred it and throw it in there.

And when you do the noodles, are you cooking those in the broth? It's all one pot, yeah. And there's a lot of fresh thyme in there. There's some fresh rosemary in there. I had this, I think I might've mentioned it before, this spiced whipped ricotta that I'd used for a different fare.

I still had a little bit left over in there. And I was like, fuck it. Let's see what happens if I throw this in there. Perfect. Absolutely perfect addition. And do you fuck with celery and carrots? Here's the thing. Every recipe that I was looking at calls for celery.

And I hate celery, so I just didn't do it. And that's my prerogative as the chef in charge here. And normally, I don't know why I have a tendency of following recipes, even if they have an ingredient that I don't like, because I want to honor the intentions of the provider. But this time I was like, no, I don't want, I hate celery. I don't want to buy celery. I don't want to eat celery. Let's say yes to the carrots. Let's say yes to onions and garlic. But don't put anything in here that feels like a chore to me. And it was great. It was incredible. It's occurring to me now that I also don't like celery and soup, but I just assumed it, it was against the law not to do it.

Right. It must serve some kind of function. I, cause Colleen makes soup all the time and she makes dynamite soup. And then when the kids eat it, Ronan really struggles with the celery, even though it's like mushy, like there's nothing to it, but I'm like, you, you eat it. And he's like, why? And I'm like, it's the law. Like we all eat it. I don't like it either, but we just eat it. And it didn't even occur to me that like, Oh no, we could just make it without the celery. It's that time of year again, where we're going to be shopping for holiday presents. You know, you're going to stress out. You're going to think, what do I get everybody? What about the people that are the hardest to shop for? Oh, they're the worst. And you got to go to all those different stores or those different sites. Right now you can shop early, skip the stress and snag some of

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That's 20% off any Raycon product, which almost never happens. Or save even bigger and get 30% off Raycon's exclusive holiday bundles. That's code EARLYBF at buyraycon.com slash QQ for 20% off your Raycon purchase. We had a dish that my mom made for us growing up. It's a type of pasta that is spelled, and I believed pronounced cavatelli, but we always, because of our garbage Italian roots

that meal was broccoli and gabardino that's what we always said a word that I I have not encountered elsewhere in the world and my mom would make it she had a great recipe for it she would make it it was like a good easy weekday meal and then when I was on my own i started making it too and uh i would eat it for years by myself uh with broccoli in there and and broccoli is like easily my least favorite thing in the world to eat but it took me years to get over the the hump of like well the recipe calls for broccoli so i guess you just have to eat broccoli like i it took me years to to realize oh stop making the thing you don't like replace the broccoli with

with with sausage no one's gonna tell your mom until she hears this podcast yeah cavatelli looks like a like a mistake pasta like oh yeah like the to me that it looks like the gnocchis that they were like no these ones got fucked up and like you just sweep them all into a different bowl and you're like we'll make something else out of these um they look very silly they look yeah they're very rustic yeah they're fun okay uh should we do our podcast do you think yeah i, okay. Well, if you're feeling up to it. I'm not, but I'm going to, I think I've done a lot of talking already here today.

And I think this might be one of those episodes where I just listen and you talk. Where I carry it? Oh, the audience famously loves these episodes. These end up being great. Okay, great. Do you want to ask me a question and I'll just talk and talk? Or do you want me to ask you something and then I'll answer my own question and you can just fuck off? You mentioned something before we started recording about finding new drinks to drink.

And I wanted to talk a little bit about that because I've made the very reasonable decision to stop drinking LaCroix, which is famously the only thing that I drink. I wake up and I have four cups of coffee and I drink my water and then I drink anywhere between eight and 12 cans of LaCroix until it's time to-

I'd be shocked if our audience didn't know that. Because they, even if you didn't talk about it in an episode, I can, throughout these episodes, and maybe Gabe is just a wizard with editing these out. But throughout each episode, I can hear like four of them sneeze in the background as you open them. Yeah. Throughout the episode. It's not good. four of them sneeze in the background as you open them. Yeah.

Throughout the episode. It's not good. And like, I've, I've asked like medical professional people, it was like, Hey, I think I'm drinking too much LaCroix. And they're like,

you can't drink too much LaCroix. And I was like, I I'm having eight to 12 cans a day. And they're like, well, don't do that. Don't have eight, eight to 12 cans of anything ever.

And I did more research on it online and like again it's not it won't kill you but like it's bad for your teeth it uh you know makes you feel bloated and gassy and there's a bunch of things in there that are just like natural flavors that the internet is like yeah i mean we'll see we'll see what that does in in 10 years and we might all feel silly that we were drinking this poison so i am cutting myself off from lacroix and now i'm just coffee water and at the moment tea that's you can't live like that that's you're gonna kill yourself it's so boring to live like this yeah uh i can't believe you were having so many LaCroix's.

It's just amazing to me that when you'd get a taste for something, you go so hard. Like the gummy fiasco was startling. Yeah. And I think there's like... I'm glad you're quitting. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I'm glad you're quitting.

Yeah. Yeah. I think also like being in Baltimore and being around friends where like my addiction is just suddenly public and visible where people see me showing up to my hotel room for a two day stay and I have like a bag of chips and two boxes of la croix and it's like oh this is i can i don't really do this without anyone seeing me uh i don't like it i don't like this feeling this was this was this was under control when it was private and now you now there's a there's an audience who knows that i'm gonna house house 24 cans of LaCroix in 48 hours. Well, so I'm dealing with, I'm a ship adrift in terms of drinks right now too,

but for my own reasons, which is I'm a big fan of Dr. Pepper, soda in general, but Dr. Pepper in particular. And I'm definitely, I've been trying to drink less soda. And so when I've been, also I've been trying to drink less soda and so when i've been also i've been trying to eat better in at lunch that's like a meal i can control the other ones i have to make stuff that my kids will eat as well and that's all bets are off but for lunch i what i've been doing is i've been getting a salad at whole foods whatever they've made, whatever like tree bark kale bullshit they've made. I'm like, then this is what will go inside me.

And I pile one of those cardboard boxes full of it and then wolf that down. But I need something to drink and I need something to look forward to to drink because I hate the meal so much. And I also don't want to get a drink, drink a lot of sugar. So they've got Santa Cruz juices and things like that that are all, if you look at normal fruit juice, even a good orange juice, it's like 40 grams of sugar, which is as much as a Coke. And it's like, well, I'm defeating the purpose. So for a while, I could drink these Honest teas. Are you familiar with Honest? Yeah. Okay.

So Honest makes a tea and they make like a mango one they make a peach one those each have about 15 to 20 grams of sugar which i'm like that's reasonable i can concede that that's great and it tastes delicious and at least there's something in this meal that i can look forward to right and for whatever reason within the last two months whole foods has discontinued their distribution of Honest Tea. Fuck. And so I'm just like looking through this other stuff that they have there. And I've tasted a lot of it.

And I can pretty confidently say now, it's all terrible. It's all dog shit. They've got a lot of microbiotic sod sodas which are abysmal they're so gross it's like it's not kombucha bad but it's like they're it's clearly just the hint of a of a fruit the grossest kind of sweetener you could imagine and then there's something else going on in there that's like vitamins it just like has that vitamin-y taste where you're like no this is good for me this isn't what i wanted wanted. Like for your guts, that kind of stuff. Yes. It's there's some gut stuff happening in there and I can taste it. I dislike it very much.

They've got some other juices. They're all like crazy. They've got so much sugar in them. And it sounds like such a, like the mom, I always hated as a child, but they have so much sugar that i really can't i can't keep doing that every single day of the week yeah and there's no option that's just like hey i also let me let me take a step back for a second and also just say when i was drinking like 15 grams of sugar and whatever i was drinking that was great it was plenty it was like that form of sweetness was just enough and i was like i am content this is a good amount no we didn't ever have to do triple this amount it's gone now there are no options it's either you go all the way or you you you you're either in the seltzers like on

like the bland end where there's no color or life or light at the end of the tunnel in your entire life and then you go to the other end and it's like the bliss point sugar. It was just a mountain of sugar in there and there's nothing in between anymore. No, I was definitely on the bland side for a while where it's a seltzer that you could tell had been like screamed at by a plum. They left a plum next to it for a few days. They left a plum next to it for a few days. It's really, yeah. I don't know why this market, like it just, I collapsed somehow. Because I think for a while they were trying this kind of thing.

And Honest seemed to survive for a while. And now I just can't find one anymore. Damn. They have a new one that does, it looks like it's made with like fruit juices. But somehow it also still doesn't have any added sugar or any sugar in the fruit juices i don't totally understand it it's very sweet it's like way too sweet for a tea and i don't trust it i think something's wrong and it's not it's also just not hitting the spot like my peach and mango honest did i i'm really struggling i don't know where to go i don't know

where to turn i might just stop going to whole Foods. I might turn into one of those lunatics that gets like flavor shots to infuse my water. Is that crazy? I've seen people do that before. What is it? Look at me just like grasping for love kernels for some kind of... What if I just squeeze some lemon juice into my water, huh? What is... These are...

Are they like little Keurig containers and you just pop them in your water? No, they're... I don't know if they're Keurigs. No. Well, I know. They're like... In terms of like what they look like,

what are... They're like sweet? I don't... It's a, it's a great question. I'm only thinking about it now just because there was, uh, I used to have a coworker and she did this. She had these like little tiny green bottles that looked like eyedroppers that she would put into her water. And I, it took me months to work up the courage to be like, Hey, what the fuck are you doing?

And she was like, Oh, it's a great question. I question i hate water it tastes like spit i don't like drinking it but the science is pretty consistent about its benefits so i mix it with these little shots of i don't know green whatever the hell she was doing oh oh is that me am i oh yeah now yeah uh like water enhancers a lot of them are called okay all right are you wasting money on subscriptions get this 80 of people have subscriptions they forgot about maybe for you it's an unused amazon prime account or a hulu account that never gets streamed there's this great app that I use that helps me track all of my expenses. And because of it, I no longer waste money on subscriptions I don't even use. You might have heard of it.

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been accidentally spending on things I don't use, but Rocket Money helped me out. They've saved me money, money, money. I use Rocket Money and you should too. I love Rocket Money. Get rid of useless subscriptions with Rocket Money now. Go to rocketmoney.com slash QQ. Seriously, it could save you hundreds per year. That's rocketmoney.com slash QQ. that we would bring, we would bring what are called iodine tablets or potable aqua, which are these like gross little tablets of iodine that you throw in your water. It stains the water bottle. It also makes the water taste borderline undrinkable. Yeah. And so on camping trips, you would, you would bring these, this potable aqua, and then you

would bring just tons of crystal light powder, which is like a lemonade powder. And you pour it in your drink. And it's like you're brushing your teeth with lemonade. You're doing everything. You're making meals with lemonade. Like it's the only way to get over that terrible, terrible taste of iodine. So maybe this is the new version of that. I feel like there are – it seems like everyone around my age is having the same conversation, though. It seems like there should be a market for people who need something healthy but not disgusting to drink to get through their day.

It has to be stronger than seltzer, too. I just can't hang with seltzer. It's just not enough. I just want a juice or something, a tea or a juice that isn't going to be like, I might as well be drinking a soda. Yeah. Yeah. And also isn't bland as shit. soda yeah yeah and also doesn't blend as shit anyway these are i i occasionally pull out of this podcast to just listen to the way that i sound about how i go to whole foods every day

and can't find the drink i like i get immediately embarrassed and how you you did say how'd you you maybe won't go to whole foods anymore like a big bold you made a big bold threat such a speak to the manager threat do you have any idea how much money i spend here i i'm gonna take my business elsewhere how does that sound it's just that the helplessness of a karen um but anyway yeah i'm really struggling i don't know what to do i'm sure someone will be very kind and try to write a direct message to me on Twitter and I won't read it yeah

but surely you will help me solve this problem at some point yeah that sounds right I think you know it's tough you're really right about that i do feel like one good thing about this podcast is it's got enough of a reach that someone out there has this answer for us and we'll just never know we'll just we're i'm not i have not arranged

myself in a position where i am ready to receive that information from a stranger and not and not immediately be mad about it. Yeah. As soon as somebody does something. Because when I mentioned on this podcast that, oh, I was on the Daily Zeitgeist, and I talked to them about how I was having finger pain, like weird joint pain in my fingers. And I was looking it up online trying to figure out what it was,

and I got a direct message from somebody that I didn't follow. And immediately my my hackles are up and just read the first line of it and they're like a lot of times this is like after covid like you get this joint pain i'm like shut the fuck up probably right probably absolutely right probably this is like a long covid symptom but i was like you who you have the audacity to try and help me i'm a little uh self-conscious about the way i've i've presented myself and my relationship to strangers on twitter i still uh for the most part want to be left alone uh by by everyone um but i i i can sense that i've been too aggressive because i'll get people who I don't follow who will DM me on Twitter, usually with something like, the thrust of which is like, you said

this on the show and I have a helpful solution for you, or this thing you said made me feel good or made me laugh or help me, whatever. Always a nice thing. And it's introed with the most timid person in the world being like, listen, I know the last thing you want in the world is a message like this. I really don't want to bother you. I just found a great substitute for LaCroix, and I just wanted to share it with you.

Please, please, sir, don't block me. And I'm just like, man, I'm really scaring the shit out of some of these 15-year-olds, I guess. People may not know this, but Dan's got a dog, Jackson, who when he meets somebody new, really is excited to meet somebody, but also really wants to show his deference. And so does this interesting thing where he gets on his belly while his back legs are still on the ground. So he can still scoot towards you, but he's on his belly. Like he gets his head down, he gets his upper body down, like on its side. So you can see belly, but he also just wants to like be closer to you too. So like he just scoots with his back legs and that's what all these people it feels like they're doing with you now is that you created a situation in which you are you might block anyone on a whim they breathe wrong and you will block them and so like people are like i i genuinely like you i think that

i have a lot of fun listening to you i would love to tell you how to solve this problem please don't block me to tell you how to solve this problem. Please don't block me. Dan, I have a quick question for you. Shoot. I'm going to preface this by saying I know that this portion has happened to you because it's happened to everyone. Where you open a bag of Doritos or something

and they just taste weird. Like they're wrong. Like they're, they're a little stale or whatever. Have you ever taken that, taken matters into your own hands, looked up the company and called them or sent them a message about it? Have you ever gone to those lengths? Absolutely not. Yeah.

That's fascinating. Yeah. That's fascinating. Yeah. I did it. Of course. That'd be a pretty. I did it. I would really respect this as a podcast if you were like, me neither. And then we just spent the remaining 15 minutes roasting the straw man that we invented.

It's funny you should say straw man. Because these are veggie straws that i did it for oh wow that's not even are veggie straws ever good yes that was the problem uh i i hiatus which i'm on right now still i go back to work on monday but i've been on hiatus for a very long time and once i get all the housework done and everything, I get a little listless. I no longer have these chores to do and I have free time. And so I turn into a really weird person towards the end of hiatus where I'm just trying to occupy my own time. And what I did recently was veggie straws. You've had them before, right? You're familiar with what I'm talking about?

Okay. For the audience, they are like these tricolored sticks of, I want to say they're basically Pringles, but they're in stick form and they're hollow in the middle. They're like a straw, but they're square. And presumably they've got some, they're better for you than any other potato chip. Yeah. Because they say vegg any other potato chip. Yeah. Because they say veggie in the name. Right.

On that score, it's a snack that I never buy myself. And it's notable to me as a snack. If I'm house sitting for someone else or at just a different house, and I'm very curious what snacks they have for me to eat, and I open the cabinet and it's veggie straws. I'm like, fuck these people. Yeah, right.

Exactly. And the reason that they've entered our diet is because when our kids go to school, we need something to pack in addition to their lunch, like snacks. And you don't just want to pack your kid ruffles or whatever. It just, it doesn't, it's not good branding. The optics are bad. And so you, you're always looking for these types of things that your child will still eat,

but that is socially acceptable for a child to be eating out in public. Um, and so we, veggie straws were like a hit. Our kids liked them a lot. They would eat them. And then I would start eating them too. Now there are two different flavors of veggie straws. One is sea salt, bad, just like a solid C, C minus of a snack. It's so there's nothing going on with it. I'm trying to think of like what to equate it to maybe like saltines. Like you'd see that and you'd be like, you know what, maybe i'm not hungry maybe i don't need anything but then they've also got zesty ranch and zesty ranch is a a it is so good these whatever they're dusting these straws with is delicious it's the head and

shoulders like better than the sea straw sea salt ones and i think everybody knows it too because uh when you go to the store there's going to be like maybe like two bags of the zesty ranch and then you just see this whole shelf of the sea salt because nobody's picking that shit up so we get the zesty ranch i brought it home i put in the kids lunches and as i'm doing that i'm like i earned a few of these just reward myself with some veggie straws at it in the kids' lunches. And as I'm doing that, I'm like, eh, I earned a few of these. Just reward myself with some veggie straws at 8 in the morning. And I started eating them. And I was like, these just don't taste the same. These taste like the sea salt ones.

And so I started eating more. And then it occurs to me that there's just no zesty ranch flavoring on these. And so I was like, Colleen, get inen get in here taste these taste these and she's like yeah it tastes like veggie straws like do they taste like zesty ranch ones and she's like no they don't they taste like the salt ones and i was like where are the police and so i did it privately i didn't do it in front of her. But later that day, I looked at the bag, found the phone number, and called the company. Excellent.

And told them, there's something wrong with my Zesty Ranch veggie straws. I think you put them in the wrong bag. And I did it under the guise of like, this is for your own edification. Like you, something might be wrong at the plant. Like you might be filling the wrong bags. But I didn't mean that. What I really meant was mine is bad.

And now you could do, now you fix it and you fix my bag. And they're going to, they were so nice. They couldn't have been nicer about it and like very apologetic and they're like didn't even like question anything they're just like okay well what's the uh what's the number on the barcode and i gave it to them and they're like okay what's your address here we're gonna send you more we're gonna send you like coupons i was like okay

solved and then was scared to tell my wife that i had done it too. Because I know the type of person who does this and it's not a healthy individual. Like the people who do this type of thing generally are, that's a red flag. And here I was doing it. But now I'm telling you because I thought you might even appreciate it that i do and i have i have a bunch to say about this one you're right about the red flag we had a a substitute teacher growing up who was who was like nicknamed the story lady this is like a bad thing for a teacher to be because we would never do whatever the assignment is for whatever the class was she would just occupy every second of air with her like pre-planned bits and stories and she was just always telling stories to the kids and like you you kind of enjoy that in in third fourth fifth grade where it's like i didn't want to i also didn't want to learn today so this is good and it's a little bit frustrating that it's not like stories go back and forth she truly demands the center of attention and if you're bored with her there's nothing you could do about it uh but the other thing that i remember even as a kid glomming onto it was like man every single one of these stories is her complaining to a

company and getting free shit i i don't like this quality i don't I don't think this is a good person. It's really, when I hear people in stores that are complaining about a product or like even at the checkout where they're asking the cashier, they're like, now is it going to go bad in two days like the last one that I bought? I mean, they don't fucking know. They have no idea. Like, leave workers alone. But then as soon as this was wrong and I knew it was wrong, I was like, I don't have to live like this.

I have the free time to deal with this. What if I just called them? And they apparently get those kind of calls all the time because they handled it efficiently they knew they were like okay we're really sorry about that here you go here's here's the fix and i i guess they want the skew number so that they can figure out where the distribution was or like where it where it went wrong in the process maybe yeah i don't know or maybe they're just being nice to me they're washing my balls being like,

yeah, oh, this is important. This is an important issue. Tell us all about the bag. The other, I don't want to go into too much detail, but the timing of this is spectacular because I did very recently,

like last weekend in Baltimore, I had a, I'd like to speak to your manager moment, which is a very rare thing for me to do. And not one that I think I'm going to do again. I don't want to explain, uh, exactly the circumstances because it's private and I, and I don't want to, you know, it involves a friend of mine who's, who's made to feel very upset and embarrassed at this place. And I, I was, was like on their behalf, speaking to the manager. And I think that was part of the motivation behind it.

Everything is fine, obviously, but it was the thing where I was like, okay, I guess I'm going to do this. I'm going to talk to a manager. And some notable things about it is that all of my friends afterwards were like, I can't believe how calm you were which i like i'm never no one ever describes me as as calm so i'm i am very happy that i was calm but here's i think the reason that i could be so calm in this situation is that what i'm asking for a manager i have a very specific

idea in my head and it's it's management based on what I saw as management when I was a child. The reality now, if I'm in a restaurant asking to see a manager, it is a 22-year-old. And I'm calm because as soon as this person shows up and they know they're in the wrong, I'm just like, well, there's nothing satisfying. You're not powerful. You're not the authority figure that I'm going to take down. You're a 22-year-old who's unhappy to be here, and you made a mistake, and I guess I wanted to make you feel bad. I'm sure you're going to offer me something for free.

You don't need to. This sucks. I didn't say any of those things. But like, that's what's going through my head as I'm looking at a scared 22 year old. And that's why I'm so unbelievably calm and not like thrown a big fit or anything like that. You really,

like even working in a job that you don't want, you start to realize how everyone, like it's all dissatisfaction all the way down. I mean, or all the way up the chain. I mean, like you're, you don't have people who are in managerial roles who are like,

yes, this is my Olive Garden. This is what I dreamed of. This is like, this is what I wanted to stake my, my my claim and like how i'm gonna make the world better before i die uh so at every single turn you're encountering these people who are like i honestly i don't know what i'm doing i don't know how to be a manager i just got out of college and they're it's so hard and so you see videos of where like people are freaking out at managers and when those people are like cool or they're like just get out get out of my place i'm like yes how do you where did that confidence come from that authority i i love it

um did they kick you out no No, no, absolutely. Because, again, we were, they were in the wrong. And it was a weird little misunderstanding of a night. And we continued having our fun night after I talked to the manager. And everything was fine. I got to look like a calm guy in front of my friends. And I got to stand up for a friend who'd been wronged. And I still felt like I lost. Yeah.

So here's the scary thing is that I think that all the people who generally do do a lot of talking to the manager, they also think that they think I was wronged. So this needs to happen. So you never really know if that's true until you see it on video until you see it until you see it on till i go viral yeah and then you're like oh okay oh i've seen it now from the outside force the trees okay it's clear now why did my friends describe me as calm i'm shaking let you hear the pitch and tenor of my voice it's gone way way up well i'm sorry that that happened but i'm glad that you you solved it yeah and now do you say to me you're sorry that my thing happened which i would say carries equal weight probably yeah

for sure i'm sorry your thing happened uh i'm glad you solved it uh and you you uh uh are gonna have so much fun with those coupons i'm gonna give an update i don't know what they're gonna send honestly um they they basically said they're gonna make it right which is a confusing thing that that weird people say but But something's coming in the mail for me from whatever Veggie Sticks parent company is. And I'm so excited. I'll tell you when I get them. I think I'd really love an update for them,

for like the president of Veggie Straws to come to your house and be like, listen, thank you for tipping us off. We looked into this. You're right. There was a mistake at the factory. They'd been going off in different bags for i for we don't know how long and it could have stretched on for even longer and that's just not who we are as a company so i'd like to listen

first of all let me shake your hand second of all we would we'd like to hang your picture in our factory so people people know this is the the guy who saved us from showing our whole ass to the store for years. I have a good one. Let me pull it up for you before you leave. You know what? I don't have a printer. Let me run to Kinko's real quick. I will get you this picture. I have a great one. You're going to love it. My friend Daniel's in it. We're wearing tuxes. I have a great one. You're going to love it. My friend Daniel's in it.

We're wearing tuxes. All right. Well, that's our show. The show is quick. The show is quick question, but you knew that already. We are recorded, edited, and produced by the irreplaceable Gabe Harder.

Our theme song is by the incredible Merex. Their digital album is available at merex.bandcamp.com. You can find us for the time being on twitter i'm at dlb underscore inc soren is soren underscore ltd the show is qq with underscore soren and dan uh you can email the show qq with soren and daniel at gmail.com we also have a patreon that you can find uh by searching the name of the show and the name of the company we uh a great question that no one asked is what the show what's the best way to to contact the show if we if uh twitter collapses the way it it seems oh we're gonna have to start reading the emails yeah someone's gonna have to start reading the emails. Yeah. Someone's going to have to start doing that.

Someone. Thank you for the correction. Yes, you're absolutely right. All right, bye. All right, bye. I've got a quick, quick question for you, all right. I want to hear your thoughts. I want to know what's on your mind.

I've got a quick, quick question for you, alright The answer's not important, I'm just glad that we could talk tonight So what's your favourite? Who did you get? When will I be remembered? What did I do? Where did all that go? Who is I?

Oh, forget it I saw a movie, Daniel O'Brien Two best friends and comedy writers If there's an answer they're gonna find it I think you'll have a great time here I think you'll have a great time here