Quick Question with Soren and Daniel - El Deerhunter

Episode Date: May 2, 2022

The guys flash their hotshot Spanish language skills, and then have a sobering conversation about animal euthanasia.  This one has it all!! And as always big thanks to our sponsors.  Shop with confidence — get Honey for FREE at JoinHoney.com/qq . Go to Shopify.com/qq for a FREE fourteen-day trial and get full access to Shopify’s entire suite of features.

I've got a quick, quick question for you, alright? I wanna hear your thoughts, wanna know what's on your mind I've got a quick, quick question for you, alright? The answer's not important, I'm just glad that we could talk tonight So what's your favorite? Who did you get? What do I be? What's it up with? What it all about? Why do we know? Oh, forget it.

Saw a movie, Daniel O'Brien. Two best friends and comedy writers. If there's an answer, they're gonna find it. I think you'll have a great time here. I think you'll have a great time here each other answers i am one half of that podcast author songwriter staff writer for last week tonight with john oliver daniel o'brien joined as always by my co-host mr soren bowie soren say hello hello oh boy let me try again hello everybody it's me soren bowie writer for american dad and all the other good things boy i i really flirted with the idea of doing like a P.O. Lean, like a Mexican

radio hour show voice. And then I thought, I think I would. That's the end. I think that's probably it. That's cancelable. How was the Spanish that you heard me do just there? me do just there i there wasn't a lot of it okay it is good i will i i know that you are really trying to nail the accent and like you're gonna pin that down for now it sounds like an affectation sure um i i worry about some of the stuff we learned there that is like very, very technically accurate, but not ways that anyone talks ever. So like the thing I tried to say up top, I wanted to say, so hello again and welcome. And what we use for so has been asi-kay?

Yeah. Is that right? As been así que. Yeah. Is that right? Así, yeah. Yeah. All right. Así, it might be one of those ones you have to put a K after it. I can't remember. But like, yeah, así means so.

And boy, did I find, so there are like certain crutch words you'll find if you ever have to actually speak in Spanish to somebody where you're thinking as you go. And a great one is pues. Pues is like a word that you can use and just take the longest pauses you want after it. We just learned pues 110 lessons into this thing. Oh man, it's so useful. Or

pienso así, I would use a lot like I think so. And then also creo que sí is like another really great one. Anytime somebody asks you any sort of, or like they're saying anything at the end you can say creo que sí and like it works. It's fine. Thanks to Shopify for supporting Quick Question. Shopify is a platform designed for anyone to sell anywhere, giving entrepreneurs like myself the resources once reserved for big business.

For a free 14-day trial and full access to Shopify's entire suite of features, For a free 14-day trial and full access to Shopify's entire suite of features, go to shopify.com slash QQ. Let's take a minute from this podcast to thank Honey for sponsoring this episode. These days, it feels like online shopping is the only shopping we really do. That's where Honey comes in. It's the free browser extension that scours the internet for promo codes and automatically applies the best ones available at checkout. Go to joinhoney.com slash QQ.

What is we, we learned something a while back and then it's, it's fallen out of my brain. It was, it was, uh, something like, uh, Dime Ver or something that means like, let me, let me see, or let me think. Oh yeah. Something that just like gives me some kind of room. Oh God. And that's all you're really like looking for in a language like that some breathing room because it's so hard to think in spanish i still can't do it i i never even got close like some people would say they went abroad and like they got used to it they figured out how to they would have their dreams in spanish yeah okay that's not yeah i don't know for sure a lot of people are liars i'm really it was a good one though.

I thought you were gonna do the whole thing in Spanish and I was like, oh shit, he knows Spanish now. I think when I started this endeavor and like we planted the seed pretty early on in the show that I was learning Spanish, that was the dream. And I just don't think that's ever gonna happen now. Okay.

First of all, I don't know that's ever gonna happen now. Okay. First of all, I don't know that there are enough Spanish lessons in this app. Like I'm 40 away from being out of lessons. Okay. Fully. And I didn't look ahead or anything like that, but I doubt podcast is in there. I doubt Soarin' is in there. I doubt Soren is in there. Yeah, I wouldn't imagine it is.

So I have a, this is not a usual quick question section, but I want to know when you took Italian, you took it to school, right? Si. So when you took Italian, did you have an Italian name in the class? Daniele. Daniele.

Yeah. Did you ascribe that to yourself or were they like Daniel in Spanish? I mean, in Italian it's Daniele. Daniele. Yeah. Did you ascribe that to yourself or were they like Daniel in Spanish? I mean, in Italian is Daniele. Yeah. They just went through the room and they were like, this is your name in Italian. This is what Daniel would be in Italian. We did something and I'm trying to decide now if it's problematic where in Spanish classes, we had the same teacher basically that followed us through high school for Spanish because she was just the Spanish teacher of the school. And at the beginning, she'd be like, and you can pick your own Spanish name. And so, you know, we're, we're kids. So we're like, Oh, can I, I'm going to come up with a silly one. This is like, this is D and D level

of like, you get to pick your own shit. And, uh, so I was Bulio and I think there were some other ones that were like, it was very clear that we were just making fun of Spanish. Like, Bridget was Bridgeto. You know, one of the things I've learned in taking this very rudimentary class is that a shortcut for making a character on TV be insulting to a Spanish speaker is for them to try to speak Spanish by just adding adding o or a or e yeah it's like it's like it's michael scott pretending he knows spanish it's it's a really quick way to let the audience know this guy's being a jerk but now that i've taken a bunch of lessons that's a lot of words man yeah it's not far off like like the the prompt was i was supposed to remember about going to the park and I couldn't remember park. I'm like, uh, donde esta parque? And that's right. Okay. All right. I owe you an apology,

Michael Scott. Yeah. The other thing is like words in our language that end in T-I-O-N, they do C-I-O-N for a lot of the same ones. There's like, all of them end up being rudimentary, so rudimentary really similar. And so like, like if you're going to say like coronation, you just be like coronacion. And you'd be like, that's going to be right. Sometimes I'll,

I'll guess the sentence and it turns out I'm right. And I don't even feel good about it. I'm like, no, I was, I was frustrated and I thought I was making fun of the language. This is not, this is a Pyrrhic victory for me.

That's, I will say like Spanish is like one of the language. This is a Pyrrhic victory for me. I will say that Spanish is one of the easiest languages to learn from English. Also because there are so many fewer rules than there are in English where you're like, oh shit, English is the bad one. This is a language that makes sense. They've streamlined a lot of things here. This is much easier for me.

Yeah. I'm breaking my brain a little bit one i it's it's just a lot to it's everyday spanish for whatever i whatever i'm i'm at now 116 yeah or whatever days um and i'm i'm doubling duties right now because a friend of mine is going to Italy and for her birthday I got her a month of classes on this app in Italian with also the promise that I would take the classes with her so we could hop on zoom every once in a while and practice because that's one of the things that's missing learning Spanish is like I have no one at my exact level that I could practice with I know we've talked about this on the podcast before. So I thought, oh, here's a good gift.

You want to learn Italian for your trip. I will learn it with you. And, uh, I, I didn't want to pause or quit Spanish. So I'm just doing a half hour of both languages every day. That sounds like a complete nightmare. I don't think I could ever be successful at that because you're just going to mix them all up. And the accent is super important in each. And I can't help if I'm speaking Spanish, like learning Spanish, and then I got to shift to another language like French. You're getting that in a Spanish accent. I can't help myself. What do you mean the accent is important in Spanish? the way that you enunciate things and like the way you roll your R's

that kind of stuff is super important to the language yeah that's the word and so I'm going to be doing that in French like I can't just shift gears like that yeah I think this was a mistake is what I'm saying I don't think you should be doing that

it's a pretty low stakes mistake. I'm still very focused on being bad at Spanish. And Italian is falling a little bit by the wayside because she is not doing it every day, which gives me some breathing room. And I have enough of a background in it in high school Italian. High school Italian. And what I'm learning is they teach you roughly the same words in the same order, regardless of what language you're doing. Like you're still, the first episode is still like you meet a stranger on a bus and you ask them if they speak English and they ask you if you speak Italian. And you say, I speak a little Italian.

And you go, and like, that's the first lesson. And that's the same thing across Spanish as well. I imagine it's probably the same across all of them. You're learning how the sausage is made over there Duolingo or whatever it is. Pimsleur. Pimsleur. Yeah. It sounds like a lager, some sort of beer.

Yeah, I do. I'm very excited. I think I, I know I've told you, but I don't know if we've told the podcast that I'm going to Costa Rica in a few weeks. So exciting. And I was looking at fishing trips to book while I'm there. And there just do like a garbage pail grab bag, just talk interchangeably in the three of them the entire trip

and just see how it goes. I like that idea a lot. I've noticed that since I've gotten older, I had a hard time when I was young understanding Spanish. Once I understood the language and I knew how to translate on my own, then I could speak it well enough that people would understand me. But I found it very difficult when people would talk to me

to just even divide up words. Because we talk so quickly that a lot of your words just sort of bleed together. And so knowing where a word ended and another one began even, I'd try and translate in my head and I couldn't do it. And as I gotten older, I've gotten much worse at speaking it, but understanding it has gotten a lot easier where if you just sort of like unfocus your mind and just take it in, you can like, oh yeah, I get the gist of what they were saying.

Yeah. And I never used to do that. I used to be like, all right, we're going to break down word by word. What just happened there? Yeah. yeah i think i'm i'm going in the opposite i don't know if it's the direction because i don't know if i'll get better at anything but right now i am better at understanding that i am speaking there are a lot of things a lot of basic things that aren't sticking in my brain super well with speaking and every time i say it and then the app says what the actual thing is i'm just like oh yes yeah it's seta instead of seta or whatever wrong thing i said and then it doesn't that doesn't help it stick in my brain i just like move past it and think like yeah okay app you know what i meant

though i had most of the words so it's fine and i'm sure like in the real world i'll just sound like i'm speaking nonsense does italian have conditional tenses? The subjective. I'm unfamiliar with these terms in English. Okay. That's great. This is where I really fell off with Spanish. I was like, I don't think I have, this is my ceiling. I don't think I go any further than this. Conditional tenses are, if you're going to talk about something, like I just did, like if you are to talk about Spanish, I'm saying if at the beginning, and so the tense of were changes. Like instead of if I was, instead of saying I was, you say if I were. Like in our language, the tense changes, but it basically changes to past tense almost.

It does like this really weird retroactive thing. But in a lot of other languages, I think, and certainly in Spanish, there's a whole nother tense for every single person that you talk about in the conditional like that. And that's where it gets to be like, that's where I decided I'm only speaking in the present tense from now on because that will get me by and that's all I need. I'm not trying to write literature in Spanish right now. So just know that that's down me by and that's all I need. I'm not trying to write literature in Spanish right now. So just, you know, know that that's down the pike and that you let me know if that's where you're like, no, maybe Spanish isn't for me. I will. You hear that?

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and get full access to Shopify's entire suite of features. Start selling on Shopify today. Go to shopify.com slash QQ right now. You know what I realized and I don't know if I brought this up on the podcast before and if I did I'm sure I don't care is that it's because the app says you're supposed to do it's recommended that you do one every single day and don't miss any. I haven't missed any.

And I don't think, I can't think of anything that I've done this many days in a row other than like eating, sleeping, like basic functions that you'd expect. Even exercising. I take some days off every once in a while. Like running, I will take a day off, sometimes two in a week. And like there's nothing else, certainly in my adult life, that I have just like set up and realized, oh, I've been doing this new thing every single day for over 100 days. That's super valuable, I think.

Yeah. That's because nobody does that that i don't think it's really hard to create new habits that quickly and just jump into them because i you know there's quitting something cold turkey there's no word for starting something cold turkey but yeah it is really hard to carve out that aspect that much of your life and be like and this will now be dedicated to this new thing that i will do indefinitely. Yeah. I think I'm very lucky that I started this during like a work hiatus. So I had several days already at like just a nice base built so that the first day work starts, it's already in my brain that this is one of the things that is as natural as, you know, you never think about like,

where do you find time to go to the bathroom or where do you find time to to sleep or eat it's like no you don't need to find time for those things those are just the things that i do right and i just it was nice to have like uh some space to build up a base of that with language class where it was like oh i don't need to make time for it it's it's my brain expects to do it every day yeah you need some you need that gap in there to begin with i think that's why you can really like develop most of your habits in college where you don't have a lot going on you mean you've got you've got classes and stuff but you realize afterwards how much free time you actually had and i remember in college i would just decide on

a new thing and just start doing it like when i stopped eating beef in college i was like and now i'm not going to do this anymore. And I just didn't. It was just, it was that easy. It wasn't like after that, I was like, oh, I wish I could have this. I wish I could have that. No, I was like, you're reinventing yourself in college, deciding who you are in college anyway.

And you're like, okay, well, the slate's clean. I'll just start. This will be the new thing that I do. Or I'm going to start working out here. And then you just keep doing it. That's it. Yeah. Man, that guy over there was juggling.

I don't have anything. I better, I better get a thing. Can I say, ah, all right, I'm in an acapella group. There it is. It was much more one-to-one for me where it was like, oh, there's a guy over there juggling. Oh, I got to juggle. I got to learn to juggle too. That'll be my thing. That'll be my thing as well. Dan, I have a story for you that I want to tell but i i guess i could start as a question to keep with the conceit of our show yeah i mean our can you imagine if we didn't do a quick question on the show that our numbers would plummet the audience would revolt they would demand their money back um how do you do with blood dan in your in your general life i am good with blood like i i'm good compared to you i'm not good as in terms of like i really like it or anything it just doesn't have

any kind of effect on me i've i've heard and met people who like at the sight of it they just pass out they can't even think of it and that is not the case i've gotten lots of blood drawn before and i've been told like the nurses are like you know look away because it's gonna be weird like no no i'm gonna watch this whole thing and it's like watch them draw blood because the first time it happened i thought like if i'm the kind of person who would pass out by seeing their blood drawn i should i should find that out about me uh but i felt nothing i just i was just like i was like oh sorry mr carp not for me it's just i'm just like watching this thing that felt very natural and and i didn't connect

it to being uh mine and the weirdest most recent blood related thing that happened to me was March of this year Jackson and I were traveling to North Carolina to see my parents and we stopped at a hotel in Richmond Virginia and I woke up in the middle of the night or no I woke up normal time I woke up in the morning and in the middle of the morning and looked down at the bed and there was a bunch of fresh red blood on the bed oh and i there was no uh this might be to my detriment there was no panic in me i just looked at it and i was like jackson which which one of us is that from and he was like i'm a dog so i just inspected both of us and like sure enough his paw was he kicked up a rock or something and his paw was bleeding. And so I got bandages and like wrapped him up and put ointment on it.

Did all the things a responsible dog owner is supposed to do. But it was also just like that morning of like waking up and seeing a lot of blood and being like, well, this is from one of us. Yeah. Let's see. Hope it's not me. Well, let me give you some hypothetical situations. I'll give these to you in the conditional tense here.

If you were watching a movie like Trainspotting or Requiem from a Dream, and they're going to give you a close-up of somebody injecting that needle into their arm, drawing a little blood into the syringe, and then plunging it back into themselves. Does that do anything for you?

No. Okay. Now let me give you another one. You're watching a medical procedure. Now it's the same thing, but it happens in toy story. You're watching a medical procedural and they're like scalpel. And then you watch that scalpel go into somebody's abdomen and you watch that first draw blood come bright blood come up from it and kind of like

drip down the side. Does that do anything to you? Not really. That, that one a little more than the the plunger i guess okay so i've got my my my blood related phobia is a weird one in that i first of all i don't like it coming out of my body you know that yeah um because it's mine and i made it yeah and i also really hate blood in a clinical setting. I've seen blood in emergency situations outside of a medical setting. Like I saw, we were on a hike,

this backpacking trip in high school, a man rolled his ankle and got a compound fracture. So that means that the bone was sticking out of his ankle. And we got his boot off and we got his boot off. We got his sock off. And then we had one of the women that we were with was an EMT and she just sort of like shifted his heel a little bit and the bone just slid back in. And even then I was like, this is fine.

This is okay. And I've been skiing before and found somebody who had cut their knee open with their own ski and you could like see the cells and the tendons and stuff in there, not the cells, like the fat, that's the tendons and things. And, uh, I was fine with that. It's an emergency situation. It just turns off. But in a clinical setting where everything's very intentional, I lose my shit. I can't hang. And I don't know why getting blood drawn is, uh, is I hate the idea of the idea of somebody cutting into me or cutting into another human being on purpose is just like, it's, it's grueling. It's so hard for me to deal with.

And my mom, when I was growing up was a nurse practitioner and she was also the woman who would come and do our, um, we do dissections of lungs and hearts in school. And she was the one who brought the pig lungs and the pig hearts. And I would inevitably be the kid out in the hallway with his head in between his knees, just like cool it. Don't fall down. You're okay.

Couldn't hang. So all this, I'm telling you. So embarrassing to, to lose your shit in front of your mom. She's going to bully you at home. There's no replay from it. I know. uh i i got enough of it at school and then i knew i was when i was gonna get home i was gonna get an earful about old scaredy cat soren you told dad oh i thought we were

friends um so i went in for an appointment to get a consultation for a vasectomy here's how this works first of all vasectomy that's for anyone who doesn't know your vans doubt your van deference they're like these vans deference i think they're like these little vas deference vas vas yes not like uh not slight on shoes not the vans deference that's very different uh yeah vas deference are uh the cables that go from your testicles up into your body and bring up the, um, sperm, not the semen itself, but the sperm. And they just basically cut those. They put little titanium caps on them. And that all that means is that the sperm that your testicles produce then never makes it out of your body. It just like gets reabsorbed or something i don't know so uh you have to go in for a consultation first because they have to tell you all the things

that you need to do to prep for something like that and then they also need to give you exactly a month to think about it because there's a lot of really weird legal issues with human sterilization as you might expect um so they need to give you time to consider it. So I went in thinking, okay. And during that month, every day of the month, they email you a list of names your children could have if you decided to keep having children. I guess it used to be-

And most of them are duds, but every once in a while you'll see a good one. It's like, oh, Char oh charm buoy would be cool for a boy or a girl interesting i could go either way they also used to make your significant other sign the document as well saying that you're cool with it with it which was uh i guess a huge invasion of privacy and so they no longer do that but yeah i went in for this appointment thinking this is where my consultation is this is when my appointment will be because i'm done i'm done having kids and my wife has been on birth control for the majority of her life and i was like no it's only fair that i know do a thing like you

should be done you're retired from worrying about this kind of thing and so i went in for the consultation the doctor was very nice within i say, eight minutes of us talking about the procedure and how he would do it and him showing me some diagrams, I stopped him and I said, would it be all right if I sat on your floor? Oh, my poor friend. and then and so and my experience in my life with people who are doctors

or people who went into this business knowing full well that they have no sort of blood phobia they have no patience for it they don't care

for you it just in getting blood drawn stuff when I had my appendectomy they drew my blood like six times and each time

I'd like turn away and they're like what you don't like looking at it I was like shut up Biff I don't know I don't like looking at it

no it's you know what a heart looks like it looks like a fist wrapped in blood you writer and uh and so i was like i i didn't i wasn't feeling great about it he showed me like these diagrams of them basically he's like here's what i would do i would open up the testicles here the testicle sack here here's where i would pull them out and he's like there's like a little tool that they had to like pull them out i do the snips and he's telling me the procedure and he's telling me how it would go and like the different things that can go wrong. That's where I really started to like get deeply uncomfortable. He's like, you're going to have stitches and it's

going to be uncomfortable for a while. You're going to, um, uh, you're going to have to stay in the seated position or like lying down for, for 48 hours. You cannot get up during that time, even if you feel like you can accept to go to the bathroom because you can tear the stitches and the inside, and then your testicle sack will fill with blood. I was like,

no, that's not where that goes. I can't, I can't. Uh, and I asked him, I could sit on his floor and he was like, Oh, are you not feeling well? And I was like, no. And I was like, he's like, do you want a second? And I was like, I can't. And I asked him if I could sit on his floor. And he was like, oh, are you not feeling well?

And I was like, no. And I was like, he's like, do you want a second? And I was like, yeah. But he didn't also say yes or no. So I just sat in this chair, like, and he started clacking away at his computer, annoyed. He's like, I got a lot of work to do. It was the sentiment. And I was like, okay, I think I'm ready.

And then we kept talking. And then we went to an exam room and started doing an exam where he just gets a lay of the land, I guess. Sure. And so we walk in there and he's like, He pulls your pants down and he's like, oh, Colorado? Well, this is Western, the Western side of the Rocky Mountains. Is that correct? And so he's like, go ahead and take your pants down in your underwear. And I was like, okay. So I take them down and then I'm just

standing there with my pants down fully dressed, but like with just my pants down and I didn't feel right. And so I instinctively put my hands on my hips, like presenting essentially. And here's this, is this what you want this what you would like to see? And so he gets down there and he starts feeling around. And it's not a comfortable moment. And I'm also not watching this, you know, like the same way I wouldn't watch Flood. I'm like, oh, Popsicle sticks in the corner.

That's something. And he's like, he's really like going, he's like, it's aggressive. It's like, he's taking his thumbs and like sticking them up through the testicle sac to like feel the holes wherever they all lead, everything leads up into your body. And I'm like, oh, and he's like, so on the day you will have local anesthesia. They don't put you under for it. And he's like, you'll have local anesthesia. So it'll feel a lot like this.

And it was just like the pressure and the moving and stuff like that. And that, then I couldn't help but picture it already happening. And like, and how I would feel in that situation. And I started to like, I guess it, I thought I was playing it pretty cool, but he looked up at me and he grabbed my elbow and he goes, are you all right? Like, he's like stabilizing me. I was like, I think I just like to sit down for a second. And he's like, okay.

And so I sat on the edge of this exam table. I would have immediately wondered like grabbing the elbow. Is that part of the procedure too? Is this also, are we still in like the hypothetical of how it will feel? He must've just seen the blood drain from my face. My blood just turned to water and like disappeared down into my ankles. And so he, he sits me down and i'm still you know not wearing pants or anything i'm just sitting there like trying not to pass out

with my pants off and uh he's very impatient about that he does not like that this is happening with me he's he's like this the energy of the room is fucking get over it you pussy and uh then he's like i'm gonna have a i'm gonna have a nurse in and come take your blood pressure and i it sounded more like a threat like a do you really need this and i was like okay and she came in send two she came in and she took my blood pressure she's like you're not allowed to get up until this is your blood pressure is this and my blood pressure had dropped significantly from when i had first come in so i the entire time i'm apologizing profusely to both of them like i'm so sorry i'm so sorry about this like here's the deal i'm just really bad with blood like uh-huh yeah

it ends dan with her like bringing me orange juice bringing me water like them trying to get this is just a consultation yeah yeah this is like next to a doctor's office guys i just want you to know i'm really bad with blood okay that's fine i want you to know we haven't spilled any we're just talking we're just it's a conversation and so and it's like my blood pressure doesn't go back to normal because i'm still freaking the fuck out and i can't break my mind like i can't get it off the track and get it back to where it's supposed to be. And, uh, I eventually, yeah, she has, she's like, well, I'm going to bring you some orange juice. I'm like,

I don't think that's necessary. She's like, I I'm going to bring it. And so I've got orange juice. Okay. Dixie cup of water there with it. And they're like, just drink the whole thing. Like they're being very patient, but also boy, uh, the, the tone of their voice suggests that this is not common and that they're not happy with it. And so eventually I get back to normal. I go and I finish the conversation with him.

Then we go to the front desk and he's like, OK, he doesn't talk to me anymore. He talks to the woman at the front desk he goes okay he's scheduled for a vasectomy on may 6th he's going to cancel that i was like well don't i mean don't cancel it yet maybe i just had a bad day um he's going to call in the morning and cough into the phone, he might even say COVID. I mean, it's not true, but like, just say yes. Just say like, oh, you poor thing. Do you want to reschedule? And then when he gives you another date, just go, just say beep, boop, beep, boop, beep, like you're typing. Like you're typing something into a computer and you're talking

to a child. Go beep, boop, beep, boop, beep, boop. He will really appreciate that. In fact, you know what? Let it go straight to voicemail. He will like that the most. If he doesn't have to talk to another human being and cancel with somebody, he won't feel a need to give an explanation and that will be the end of it. And he had me pinned so well that I was like so mad and I was like, I'm going to do it. And then I went and looked at May 6th on a calendar and realized that it's two days before Mother's Day. And I was like, that would be really inconsiderate of me to be out of commission on Mother's Day.

Surely I better wait. You know what? I'll kick the can. I'll see what it's like in 2027. So at this point, it's in limbo. I don't have a set date, but I still think like, I think I could do it. I just got to like really mentally and emotionally prime myself. Let's take a minute from this podcast to thank honey for sponsoring this episode. These days,

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honey button. It scoured the internet and it saved me $16. If you don't already have honey, you could straight up be missing out. It's literally free and installs in a few seconds. And by getting it, you'll be doing yourself a solid and supporting this podcast. Get honey for free at joinhoney.com slash QQ. That's joinhoney.com slash QQ. slash QQ. That's joinhoney.com slash QQ. Watch the savings roll in. So I've read, have you read the account of actual Aaron Ralston's account of 147

hours? I think that's what it's called, right? 127. 127 hours. Are you kidding me? That fucking coward couldn't last 147? I gave an extra 20. Come on. So there's an account of it in Outside Magazine before the movie came out where he just basically described what happened. And I read it and it took me maybe four sittings to actually get through it because I would read a little bit, have to go lie down in my bed, and then come back, listen to him talk about I couldn't cut through the bone so I had to twist it and turn it so that it would snap and I'd have to go lie down again.

There's some short stories have done that to me too. Chuck Palahniuk. Yeah. Chuck Palahniuk. He's got all the short stories about, what's it called? Guts. Yes. Thank you.

Guts. The stories that he picked up from when he would go to these sexaholics meetings. That's a better word for that. sexaholics meetings that's a better word for that um but uh i there are different things where like i just can't even it's not just seeing it it's also the if you can create the imagery in my mind i'm done for and i can't get out of i can't leave it the same way a child watches a horror movie and then can't sleep because they're not allowed to turn their mind to something else it's just they don't they're not in control yeah their mind to something else. It's just they're not in control. When it comes to a phobia like that, you're not in control.

You just don't have any sort of say in what your mind will do. And when it runs amok, it's terrifying because not only are you terrified of the thing you're terrified of, but now you're terrified of your own brain. Yeah. Can't go to sleep, can't close your eyes. Oof. So anyway, I don't know when I'm going to be this thing i still think for a thing and yeah you don't want to do it before mother's

day and then like looking ahead at the calendar coming up on your birthday i don't want to do it then i'm gonna need i mean they say 48 hours but i'm thinking two weeks lastly so i gotta give myself a little bit of a cushion. Yeah. When's back to school? You're going to need to be top shape for like back to school shopping at any rate. Yeah. Those parent teacher parent teacher conferences that I got to go to. I can't miss

those. I mean, and then my son is going to make Colleen. You're going to make Colleen do Thanksgiving all by herself. Come on. Sorry. That's not happening. Got to fly during Christmas herself sorry that's not happening gotta fly during christmas so that's out i can't be on a plane with this condition i'm carrying luggage for heaven's sakes um yeah i just i think maybe when i retire i could probably nail it down to time yeah yeah um i still am thinking of doing it my wife is like well then just don't don't do it

Um, I, I still am thinking of doing it. My wife is like, well, then just don't, don't do it. No, you don't understand. The doctor knew that. They knew that about me. I didn't like that. So now I got to just to, just to hurt him. I have to get it done.

I do. I know we're all playing along and doing bits here, but it's very funny to me if this, this starts out as like, no, Colleen, you're retired now. It's my turn to share this burden, to like, I'm going to show that fucking doctor if it kills this whole family. I don't care if I throw up on the operating table and it goes back in my mouth and I choke to death. I'm going to show him that I can do this.

This is not about you, Colleen. But it's never rang true to me in pop culture when somebody sees blood or something and they throw up. That's never been – it's never been like it makes me really – I see people pass out. I guess they throw up in movies and TV shows too. But I feel like I see them pass out. Yes. That is way more – that's way more true.

And I think it is like the actual chemistry of it or the biology of it is that your blood just thins immediately. You get this like really low blood pressure and it all leaves your head because of gravity and then you're done. Do you – because I know you've always been an athlete. When you like skin your knee on the soccer field or anywhere else, do you like walking around with blood on you for a little while? Yeah, that's fine. Okay, good. Yeah, because I love that. I'm nuts about that. Yeah, those little battle wounds are fine. It's like it's an impersonal setting.

It happened by accident. It's like incidental contact. If I was a ref and in my brain it was deciding what was actually like blood to be scared of and what wasn't. It's like, no, no, no, that's incidental. It's fine. Play on, play on. I don't mind it. And then it out in the field, like it just sort of shuts down.

I don't get that. And same way we're like, I can, I can spatchcock a chicken and feel fine about it but if for the same reason we were like i had a chicken that was in trouble and we had to like shave a section of her pluck a section of it and then cut it open i think i even just thinking about that i'm like no we shouldn't be yeah oh god oh god oh god i mean while i'm always thinking about the most i've been trying to find the most ethical way to practice killing and cleaning fish yeah because that's still not a part of the process that i you do a throwback system right you're talking throwback and like I'm on I'm often on

boats and they will clean it for you there and you have the option of course like no I'm gonna take my own fish home and I'll do whatever I want with it and plenty of people take that option but if I'm on a boat I'm usually catching I'm bringing home like what I want to eat I'm not bringing home extra stuff and so I don't want to ruin what I'm bringing home to eat but there's not really a great way to practice like start to finish catch a fish

bleed the fish skin and fillet the fish clean it all the stuff that you're supposed to do unless you have like a bunch of live fish that that no one's gonna miss if I of stuff that you're supposed to do uh unless you have like a bunch of live fish that that no one's gonna miss if i if i if i ruin them but that's also like kind of flies in the face of philosophically what i what i want to do with fish like i don't want to waste the fish but i still want to practice and learn and i could like all i do is watch youtube videos and watch

like other people when i go, I watch them do it. And I feel like, I don't know, how do you get good? I asked one guy, like, how did you get good? And he just said, I watched a bunch of YouTube videos and then just started trying to do it. All right. Yeah. So you're killing the fish too, right?

And how are you doing that? I don't know. Like in the videos a lot, there's one guy, A Fisherman's Life, who I followed for a long time. He will repeatedly, not like over and over again in the same video, but his method is he will just smash the fish's brain with a rock. No. He's like, this is the quickest way to kill them. And it's very humane.

He's explained it at some point. I was like, I don't care. I'm sure you read it that somewhere, but like do this part off camera, please. Also, you've got to,

you have to know the right amount of force to use, which takes practice because you're not going to get it right the first time. You don't want to smash the whole head of the fish all over the place. You don't want to like gut, like brain going everywhere. So like, you know, the right amount of pressure to be like pop and it's dead now but you but that takes some work because i'm

guaranteed you're just gonna go wrong in the other direction where you don't do it hard enough and you've just now like brain this fish that's still kind of twitching and alive and then you feel like a terrible person for the next week and i think i've seen some where they just like bleed the fish they just look like you're fishing in a stream you catch the fish and then you not its throat but you you put the knife somewhere where you know knives are supposed to go to bleed fish and then you just like let it sort of bleed out in the river that's got to be a tough well i mean obviously for me that's a tough way to go that's maybe my worst nightmare. But I watch a lot of, I'm sorry, Alone, which is a show famously that I watch on the show.

Yeah. And they are constantly catching rabbits in these snares. And then they pick up the rabbit and they're like, oh, I caught a rabbit. And they're so excited about just the idea of the rabbit and not its life or anything. So they're gonna kill it and then they take a log or something like that and you kind of see it it's usually not directly on camera but they're just hitting it across the back of the head behind the ears and killing it i'm like you don't man you you haven't gotten that right forever there were times where that didn't go right there's i can't remember if i talked about this there's some like you go out in alaska and to show my ignorance i'm gonna say and other similar places you go to a place like alaska where it's

where it's just miles miles of of sea in every direction and it's very cold you're catching really big things and they'll they'll they'll catch uh what are they catching out there salmon i guess halibut yeah yeah and like you'll get some those like big flat really wide fish they call them uh here's some some like inside scoop fisher lingo for you we get a really big fluke or flounder like we get out here call it a doormat it's like big and wide like a doormat that's way better out there if you see something really big and wide and it's like these these giant ass halibut They call it a barn door because they're so big and they're so big and they're so dangerous to actually have on the boat so they get them to the top of the water and the very sophisticated method is someone says

Gun, and then they take a like the boat pistol gun and then they take a like the boat pistol like a handgun like a fucking Glock and they walk across and they go and they point and they shoot the fish in the head so they kill it in the ocean before they bring it into the boat and it's like

someone must have figured that out at some point that it's like it's much smarter to do this than to risk like the boat the fish flopping around on the boat with all that size and all that weight knocking people overboard these small rickety ass alaska boats but it's also just like it seems so unsophisticated and so weird and like there's a lot of elements of that that i'm like wait hold on there's a shared pistol among everyone on the boat yeah

and like you see it's it's one of those things like being on like any of the film sets that we were on where a gun was used where everyone knows all the rules about who is allowed to touch it and when the gun is moving and you know all the important safety things it's clear that the people on the boat have a lot of respect for this too because like the person with the gun has it pointed up in the air and no one is moving while this guy walks across the boat very sternly points it at the fish and then shoots it and then it's like gun moving and walks back so they they just that and like how does the time how does how does ammunition work on a timeshare gun like that does everybody just before does how does ammunition work on a timeshare

gun like that does everybody just before they go on the boat they're like i'm now we'll all pitch in for a bullet yeah we haven't caught we haven't gotten to that part of this youtube series yet but i'm sure mid-season finale that's going to be some high drama wow that's amazing uh what it feels very much like overkill to me yeah but i guess i don't know any other way so so much of the the joy of watching fishing videos is watching people like really struggle and do these fights for so long like you're getting it so close and then you just hear the sound of the fish going down down down down down down down down again so that's like two hours of work just erased in a

second and then you have to do it again and like you're fighting and they're like everyone on the boat is cheering on and then it's like fully mafia style hit of this fish and very often the camera will they'll do like an underwater gopro so you don't even really get sound it's very anticlimactic and and like very again like a soprano's hit where this fish has been fighting and then like one guy with a gun just walks up shoots it in the back of its fucking head yeah like all right let that be a lesson now tonight you won't be sleeping with the fishes yes um so have you ever been in a circumstance before, Dan, where you had to, you had to kill an animal and you're sitting there trying to think of how to kill it?

Uh, no. Have you? Okay. Yeah. Like a few times. One was a bird that was deeply injured on our high school campus. And we tried to tell our science teacher about it. And he's like, you can't, you're not going to save that bird.

And then, and he's like, so we were like, well, can we get some animal to eat it? And we realized we couldn't do that and so we eventually took just a giant big rock and dropped it on this bird man uh yeah that was that was rough and i i had another situation with a i'd found a possum that was dying and uh didn't know what to do with it. And I was like, sat there for a long time. It was in front of my son's daycare. Like I brought it home. Oh.

And was like, what am I going to do with it? It was already, it was being eaten by ants from the back. Like it had these- Oh, fuck ants. Yeah, the ants were inside of it, essentially from the back. And it was not doing well. It was out in the middle of the day

and it couldn't walk or anything. And I was like, okay, how am I going to kill this possum? Just sat there for a long time thinking about like the logistics of it and how messy it would be. And so I, in the end, elected to drown it. That was going to be my pitch.

Fill up a garbage can with water and drown it. I filled up a Yeti bucket, which is basically just a tiny trash can and then held it under with a shovel and it was like it took a piece of my soul yeah to do it was rough and i i mean he was in trouble but it's it's gonna fight no matter what because it doesn't want to drown like its instinct is to stay alive and i held it on it i will say it went faster than i thought it would like i didn't have to hold it under for very long. It's fascinating. Even in like a movie when somebody drowned somebody and, uh, then put it in a plastic sack and, and threw it away. But it was like doing it. I was like, this is rough. This is rough. This is rough. And then for, you know, two weeks after that, I was like, I need to tell this to people just to unload.

Emotionally, I need someone else to carry this because it's been really hard on me to still see that possum's eyes. Man. Yeah. Oh, and I had a science teacher in high school. No, sorry, middle school, who she told a story about hitting a deer with her truck and it was still alive, but it couldn't get up and she didn't know what to do and she didn't have anything in the truck. And so she dragged it over and put the head of it underneath her car tire or underneath her truck tire and then just backed over its head. Oh, no. And killed it that way.

And I was like, that takes that like there's a cost, like there's such a cost to something like that. You don't just do it and then be like that takes that like there's a cost like there's such a cost to something like that you don't just do it and then be like and that's it i saved this animal no uh you see i mean save it from its pain or whatever no like you live with that then you live with the feeling of the car rising and then falling through a skull or whatever and it's just i it's so rough to be in a situation where you have to kill something that's not an insect and doesn't look anything like us. Yeah. I hope to not have to do it except for fish, which I think are different. They are. It does.

And the fish I kill are the fish that I want to eat. Right. You're going to be doing something with them. That helps a lot. You're not just throwing it away. Ah, that was fun. It's funny the way stupid ego works where you talk about this deer story. It reminds me of a story from a Chuck Klosterman book. I think it was Killing Yourself to Live away they like ah that was fun it's fun it's funny the way stupid ego works where like when you talk about this deer story it reminds me of a story from a chuck closterman book i think it

was killing yourself to live because that's the non-fiction memoir thing and he talked about uh hunting with his brothers and dad and that there was a deer that was injured but not dead and chuck didn't know what to do with it and his brother who was like more of a dude grabbed the antlers and snapped the the deer's neck just like like cross your arms grab one antler grab the other and then uncross your arms quickly and as he's describing this i think i'm reading it when i'm like 16 years old i'm like that's how i would have done it too yeah that's probably what i would have done in that situation i would have done it too. That's probably what I would have done in that situation. I would have handled it like that. When like,

even now that I know that that's an option, I still don't think I'd handle it that way. I don't, not to say that I'd handle it like backing over with a car. That is, that's like extra strength crazy town to me. Yeah. That's not,

that's not cracking my top 10 list of how am I going to solve the situation? No, but like, uh, just in terms of actual getting it done, I'm like, yeah, that's a great idea. Yes, certainly. That's going to be quick. You don't, you don't have to do the strength isn't being applied by you, which is like another element of it that shouldn't be important, but is very important. Yeah. Where it's like the breaking of an animal's neck like that, like you have to apply the strength to get

that right. And that's really taking an animal's life. And that's so sad. Yeah. No, thanks. It's really rough. Well, Soren, thank you for sharing that story. My pleasure. And all the stories that came afterwards. I'm sure this topic will come up again.

As soon as I kill some more animals, I'm sure it'll be great. Oh, you mean the vasectomy? Yeah, that will definitely come up again. I mean, either way. There's no way of knowing what's going to be on this show. This show, by the way, is is quick question but you knew that already we are recorded edited and produced by the irreplaceable gabe harder and our theme song is by the incredible me rex their digital album is available at me rex.bandcamp.com you want to reach out to us you can find us all on twitter

me at dob underscore inc soren at soren underscore ltd or the show at QQ underscore Soren and Dan. Email the show at QQ with Soren and Daniel at gmail.com or you can find us on Patreon and ask questions. We will answer them if you give us money. What's on your mind? I've got a quick, quick question for you, alright? The answer's not important, I'm just glad that we could talk tonight So what's your favourite? Who did you get? What do I be? Remember?

What's it out to? Word it over How do we know? Oh, forget it I saw a movie, Daniel O'Brien Two best friends and comedy writers If there's an answer answer they're gonna find it I think you'll have a great time here

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