Quick Question with Soren and Daniel - How to Move (your body) (And your home)
Episode Date: October 23, 2021The guys start to ask questions, and then stop and then definitely start again! And as always thanks to our sponsors. Thanks Raycon!. Go To buyraycon.com/qq for 15% off your entire Raycon order. T...hanks to Jiminy's. To learn more and save 20% on your first purchase, go to jiminys.com/QQ and use code QQ20 at checkout. Thanks to Manly Bands. To get 21% off your Manly Band for a limited time, and get a free silicone ring, go to manlybands.com/QQ. Thanks Hello Tushy. 10% off + free shipping HelloTushy.com/qq
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That's R-A-K-U-T-E-N. So hello again and welcome to another episode of Quick Question with Soren
and Daniel, the podcast where two best friends and comedy writers ask each other questions and
give each other answers. I am one half of that podcast author of How to Fight Presidents and
Staff Writer for last week tonight with John Oliver daniel o'brien joined as always by my co-host mr soren buoy soren say a bunch of no i'm not that's problematic i can't
do that uh hey everybody i'm soren buoy i'm a writer for american dad and uh writer on the
crackty textbook which i'm gonna start claiming from now on because i fucking wrote that thing
yeah well not all of it obviously but i wrote some of it i do and i'm not i'm not trying to be uh uh challenging or provocative or anything but i i
i don't know if it's problematic for you to do an aggressive italian accent one of the the
the funny things that i've observed working in comedy for over a decade now good lord is uh we're still pretty okay with making fun of
italians and irish people which like i'm as an italian irish person i'm totally fine with that
i like who who gives a hoot it's just one of those things that you watch as like society
gets more uh gets more progressive gets more uh corrects itself on this side of history
but still like there would be i'm gonna throw him right under the bus our former boss there would be
such joy in his eyes he would light up when he would make fun of italians yeah it was such a
pleasure that there was like one small pocket of people that he could just be mean to well he like jack had this weird uh
ax to grind with italians and australians where he was like he was so pumped but he wanted to do
like weird like weird stereotypes about italians that didn't exist yes like that they were very
tiny people like they were like like hobbits almost and he wanted to like spread that
disseminate that among pop culture so that the other people would be like oh yeah italians are
little yeah and the australians are deeply racist that was his other one yeah i think the thing is
and i i haven't looked into australian history so so maybe there's some with jack there's usually
some kind of merit to to what he's saying but in this specific case
i do think he met one australian person in his life who was very racist and that that clouded
everything yeah i think that's probably true and he jumped in the water assuming that we were all
there with him he was like you know how australians are racist right we're all like well hold on
during a pitch meeting, we were talking.
Somebody had pitched a story about these amazing people who risked their lives to save somebody else.
And there was a man who I think he was like a cruise boat.
He used his own body as a bridge so that somebody could get off this cruise boat and like reached from the put his locked his feet in and then like put his hands on something else.
I don't remember the whole story, but help somebody else by turning his body into a bridge and then jack found out the guy was italian and just lost his shit and was like this should be number one because he was like let imagine a
like that person could have just jumped that italians are like two feet tall and and the
fact that an italian person was long enough to turn their body into a bridge was comedy gold to him.
Yeah.
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oh that's jack i do think the the culture might be shifting right in front of our very eyes about
italians uh because i don't know if you saw this recent news that Chris Pratt
is going to be voicing Mario in an upcoming Mario, Mario the Plumber from Nintendo, some
movie or show Chris Pratt is going to be the voice and the headline grabbing poll quote
that he's had is that because people were like, is he going to do the,
it's a me Mario?
Is he going to,
is he going to do that?
Or is he going to do some version of Italian accent?
And Chris Pratt's quote was,
no,
I'm not going to be doing that in this version.
We won't have that accent,
which is a fine thing to say.
He goes on to say in this version,
Mario is going to sound normal,
which is a less fine thing to say and people were upset about that and i think it still remains to be seen if that's going to be a thing or not
and he just means no accent yeah and when he says normal he means speaking english with no accent
but i guess there is no such thing as no accent right and like normal i know intellectually in
his case means my normal
voice it's mario's gonna sound like chris pratt like every other character i've ever played in
my entire life it's gonna sound like chris pratt uh but you know the internet will grab a hold of
a headline that says mario is gonna sound normal from now on i i so first of all the first mario's
movie i don't think is very good, but Bob Hoskins,
great casting for Mario, even though he's not doing the accent either.
He's the right body type.
He's the right build.
The idea that this is a fat little plumber who runs around is what's fun about the game.
So Chris Pratt is not my first choice.
No.
And like Bob Hoskins brought a level of exhaustion that you assume, but never really see in the
character because in the character he's jumping,'s running he's spitting fire but like if you if you stretch that out to reality it's
like yeah he'd be fucking sick of this yeah he carried them or he's got to go on all these
missions he carried that like blue collar um luggage with him everywhere like he just looked
tired all the time like barely amazed to learn that dinosaurs are
real mostly just sort of like put out by it's like now i gotta deal with this yeah who's playing
luigi i don't know if we have a luigi yet okay well let me know when they have a luigi yeah um
let's close this out by saying uh a representative of Italian Americans and Irish Americans, you can still make
fun of us. It's fine.
Yeah, I'm sort of the same way with Norwegian.
Like, or just Scandinavian
in general. Like, the Swedish chef is still
a very funny thing to me, and Swedish
accents are still played
for laughs, and I think that
why not? They're funny.
At least we'll have a few more years of this, I think that, why not? They're funny. At least we'll have a few more years of this, I think.
Yeah.
And then I'll learn something and we'll retroactively delete this podcast for sure.
Yeah.
Before we get into the show, I've got some breaking news.
I guess not breaking news.
Some broken news.
Soren.
Uh-huh.
American Dad has been renewed for the next two seasons that's gotta feel good what a relief thank you i see i've been wondering for so long
it's one but generally this is how my news comes to me from my job through uh third parties so
thank you for telling me daniel um yeah we did get renewed seth texted me and he was like keep this keep this under your
hat for a while i was like can i tell soren and he said who i was like yeah don't don't worry about
it he doesn't know who i am what's he like i'd love to meet him someday i think that would be
great um yeah it's we got picked up for two seasons which is i think pretty rare rare in the entertainment industry that a show gets picked up for two seasons at a time.
So I'm very, very lucky and, man, so relieved to have that settled.
People maybe don't know this, but every year, you're always up for whether your show is going to get canceled.
Not only whether your show is going to get canceled, but whether your own contract will get picked up with the show again.
going to get can't not only whether your show is going to get canceled but whether you your own contract will get picked up with the show again that's every single year you go on hiatus and
you're just like well i hope i still have a job and if you don't then it's just this mad scramble
of calling everyone you know who's also working and they're like hey uh how is your show hiring
i have and then also just trying to put together as many different pilots, specs, and just general work that you can.
And it's terrifying and exhausting, I assume, because I haven't had to do it yet.
But I've been on the verge before where I've been like,
okay, we're not picked up yet.
We should have been picked up by now.
This is bad.
I got to figure something out.
Yeah.
We don't even, for our contracts, we don't even have yearly contracts.
And I don't think I'm telling any industry secrets.
This is all stuff that you can find by like googling contracts for the writers guild late night um we have like uh
sometimes eight week cycles sometimes 13 week cycles where that's all your contract says is
like you're gonna work and no matter what you're gonna work this cycle or you're gonna get no
matter what you'll get paid for this cycle and then a thing that I didn't realize my first year is like, once those
13 weeks are up, you'll get an email renewal notification. They're like, Hey, they're going
to pick up your next two cycles. I was like, Oh my God, I didn't know I was supposed to be looking
out for this email. That's good news. It's also really fun to, you find out pretty quickly who on staff is just uh a glass half
empty person or like even worse so where a minute the show ends for hiatus they're like well that's
gonna be our last one and you're like what why do you why do you say that i just got this hunch
just the feeling i got in the room on that last uh table read just i think this is it okay I don't know if I can trust you or not
but yeah we're picked up it feels really good it's really nice to know I'm gonna
be going back to work at a job that I love good that's great there's so much
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Let's get into the show where we ask each other questions and give each other answers.
I don't have any questions, but I did want to just, I guess I did.
Okay, let's try it as a question.
Soren, what was your last move like um the last time i moved houses yes no the last
time you physically moved i know most of the time you sit in in a darkened barn waiting for the
podcast to start again you know that i developed dance moves right that i that are specifically for weddings and it's been a while
since i since i made a move right uh my last move was the easiest move i've ever done and it's
because um i had the resources to do it i we were moving from one house to another house and i had
somebody come who this group of people who just did the move for us we barely had to pack up like they put
it all together it was like an all-encompassing moving company that did it all and uh that was
really really nice it took a day i i was worried the night before because i was like we have not
done any prep i wonder if you're supposed to do anything and then they got there and they were
like no no no no no we, no, no, no.
We do it for you.
I will say that the guy who did it was kind of a name dropper.
Like he talked a lot about how he moved famous pop stars and stuff like that
and wanted me to know all of them.
I don't know.
Man, that is the wrong audience for that.
Man, this couch reminds me of Halsey's couch.
I don't. Who is he oh is that a band is that is that one of the heim sisters and uh it was great it was wonderful because i didn't do
shit and then we just showed up at our house and our stuff was there i can certainly see
the appeal that that it's i mean like, there's an obvious appeal to it,
especially when you've got kids that you're moving around.
I, as at the time of recording, it is October 22nd,
and I am not moving out of my apartment until December to remember 31st,
and I started packing last week.
December to remember 31st.
And I started packing last week.
I first Googled how soon is too soon to start packing because I wanted to make sure I was doing something normal.
Or if I wasn't doing something normal,
I wanted to be aware of that.
So I could use that to determine
how many people I tell about this.
Can I just say, you should have Googled,
is it normal to Google?
How early is it to move
i could i was just on daily zeitgeist uh plug talking about uh this that google is so frequently
uh my non-judgmental friend i always go to google and ask what like
when is normal time to leave concert, 35-year-old man?
I want to make sure I'm either doing the right thing or have an appropriate level of shame and discretion if it turns out I'm doing the wrong thing.
It won't change my actions.
It'll just change how I declare those actions.
Yeah.
No, I do the same thing.
Yeah.
declare those actions yeah no i i do the same thing yeah um but so i i i googled that and google was like two to three weeks before you move you can start packing and i was like no
thank you google and the other decision in my head was i was having my brother and my godson over
for just like to hang out in my apartment and the city for a day and once they were gone i was like
all right that is the last time i will have anyone over my apartment for the rest
of my life. And the rest of it is just going to be, this is a place that is in the middle of being
moved out of. And I am enjoying it so much. I love packing. I love taking stuff out of where it goes
and putting it away and having blank walls again and having like open
empty cabinets and empty shelves and just and like everything is so clean and neat and i have
so much time it's such a relaxed packing schedule that it's just something i can do to take a break
from work or while food is cooking that i don't have to tend to i just let me just load up one
of these boxes and like and do it right there i had so many moves that, that have felt so frantic where I'm just
like cramming stuff in boxes. And now I can really like sit and look at everything. And before even
putting stuff in boxes, I have different colored post-it notes and I'm labeling things that
are going in boxes, things that are going to be just moved by the movers when they
come in december to remember and i have stuff that because this is a kind of a complicated move where
i am leaving this place at the end of december in january i'm renting a house by the beach
somewhere wait january doesn't get a a little tag uh danuary yeah uh so i'll be there. Insurrectionary.
Patriots Month.
Thank you.
And then in February,
then I'll be wherever I'm going to live.
And I don't know where that's going to be yet.
I haven't figured that out.
So I'm packing for,
what am I going to need in this apartment for the next couple of months?
What can go in boxes now? And what stuff that I i going to need in this apartment for the next couple of months what can go in boxes now
and what stuff that i'm going to need when i'm living in a month in our uh rented furnished
house by the beach and so there is a lot of planning going on and i'm fucking loving the
planning and i know that you like organization too and and so like my boxes will have the big
label that's like books or living room or kitchen
but then a separate piece of paper taped to it that itemizes what's in that box so i will know
where everything is all the time yeah and on the off chance that i don't have a place like a like
a new place to live in february and i'm still just sort of bouncing around. It'll be very simple to go to the storage
unit and just like, I hadn't anticipated needing this, but now I do. And I know exactly where it
is because it's labeled on the box because I will have been packing for three months.
And I cannot overstate how soothing this entire process is.
I love your organization. and I love the idea of
having everything like that when it's in transition, but the transition aspect of it,
extending that window sounds like absolute torture to me. Not knowing where I'm going to live?
Well, that, not having these up in the air questions, but also just seeing that shit on
your house, your apartment doesn't look normal right now. It's got some stuff's missing from shelves. Some stuff is just tagged on shelves. Like it's a,
it's not, it doesn't feel as livable anymore. And that would change my quality of life. The
reason that I wait until the last minute is because the minute I start pulling stuff out
and taking pictures off of walls and things like that, my house feels so hollow. And it feels like I don't belong there.
And I'm in that really uneasy flight pattern
or like holding pattern where like,
I'm not in the new place yet,
but I'm not out of this place yet.
And I just need to expedite that process
as much as possible.
Or I start to get really frantic.
Man, I'm the opposite.
I love my Jason Bourne safe house.
Just if you walk into a blank room with a single mattress and a bucket.
But it's not just that.
It's got like, there's some fucking like holes in the wall.
Sure.
And the corners are dirty.
And it's like, it doesn't feel like a space I want to be in.
Yeah.
It's Jason Bourne's mattress, bucket bucket and like a hoodie if he gets cold
hanging up on the door when i moved the time before this i moved from an apartment to my old
house and we did it in the process during that process we had bed bugs so we were leaving a
place that had bed bugs and it was a nightmare the the way that we did it was you have to move all your shit into your kitchen anyway when you have bed bugs because then somebody comes and they do some sort of treatment on the rest of the house.
You take all the light sockets out because bed bugs can live in the walls too and live inside those little outlets.
And so somebody's going to come and do the spray.
You got to move everything you own into a kitchen.
And I guess no bed bugs live in kitchens. they don't like it there uh and it's awful but all your stuff's in basically trash
bags then also another thing that you can do is if you're the things that you might uh own that
have bug bugs within them like your clothes and things you have to then decide what to do with
those you either throw them out or you can do this thing where you put them in a black trash bag or some heavy plastic, put them out in the sun, let them bake for a while
and the heat kills the bed bugs. So we first had only planned to put all of our stuff in the
bathroom or into the kitchen. We'd done that. Nothing is really planned. There's no itemization
at all. It's just like heaped in there. And then we're also realized at the same time that we've
got this house. And so we're going to at the same time that we've got this house.
And so we're going to move into that.
So we're taking over trash bag by trash bag and throwing them on the lawn and letting
them sit on the lawn for long periods of time.
So we got to our house and everything was either in the garage in unmarked bags or it's
out on the lawn in unmarked bags.
And I knew where fucking
nothing was and i mean nothing i didn't know where my underwear was or a mug or like anything
it was it was it was just me for long periods of time feeling the outsides of trash bags being like
oh i that might be some some socks and a toothbrush. I don't, let me check it.
No, a screwdriver.
Damn.
Yeah.
You know what?
I'm going to put on whatever I pull out of this bag.
And that's just what it's going to be.
It's an oven mitt?
Fine.
We're doing that now.
That's what I'm wearing today.
And that was just an absolute nightmare.
So the organization is, oh, that's the dream.
But the process itself, Dan i'm i commend you for
for lasting through it that long and also i guess enjoying it yeah it's it's it's really become a
fun like side thing to do to to interrupt the the normal flows of my days yeah you've got another
job to do yeah it's also a nice counter to the last time i moved which the
two parts of that were getting hired for last week tonight in august and having two weeks to get from
la to new york to start that job so i kept my la apartment moved in with my brother and sister-in-law
in west orange new jersey and did that commute for the last few months of the season,
planning to go back to LA in between seasons five and six, wrap up my apartment, move everything in
trucks across the country, like do my formal move then. And that incidentally, that trip back to LA
is when I broke my wrist. So now I'm conducting this move with an arm and a cast
and was like,
A, you can understand all of the
problems that arise
with only having one arm when you're moving all your
stuff. B,
was
depressed, was very sad about
having a broken arm.
And
C, now it's happening very quickly
because the time I thought I had to do my LA victory lap and move is now
completely adjusted to this to this new disaster so I was so frantic I was so
unpretentious with so many things because everything was such a pain in
the ass to deal with every single simple move was a
pain in the ass and i had like our dear friend uh slash enemy rosie uh enemy of the podcast rosie
she came over one day to like help me tape boxes which is you understand my relationship with rosie
and and how uh cantankerous it is it's humiliating to rely on her for help. It's awful.
I couldn't stand it.
And I also had my friends,
Caitlin and Brian,
come over to help me move some big stuff.
They also took a lot of furniture off my hands,
which was great.
But it's still,
they're like normal people
who want what's best for me.
And they're just like,
do you want,
it seems like you didn't pack this colander.
And I'm like,
to hell with the colander!
I needed no excuse to throw everything out.
And I was just trashing it because I didn't want to deal with anything.
And then smash cut to a week later, a one-armed man boiling water for pasta in his car.
I was like, oh, fuck.
I did need that colander.
Just eating soupy pasta. burning my one good hand all by himself on like a card folding table yes that happened to just come with the apartment
um well so that's a thing i did miss out on this time uh because i somebody else did the move for
us i mean like literally they're just taking drawers they're opening up, putting cellophane over the top so nothing spills
out and they're just taking the whole drawer.
What I missed out on was the catharsis
of moving, which was that purge
you do of all the shit that you've been
holding onto that you don't actually need and you don't even
think about it because it just becomes this blind
thing to you where until you're moving and then you're
like, oh wait, I don't
need this. And that freeing moment where
you're like 10% lighter at your new place.
And you're like, oh, man, we streamlined.
This is great.
I didn't do that at all.
So all that shit just came with us to the new place.
And now it's still there.
There's a bunch of stuff that I don't use, think about, or look at that is still coming with me.
And I don't know why.
It's like as I'm c'm calling a lot of stuff, but there's still some things where I look at him
like, ah, man, I forgot I had this. Well, can't wait to forget. I had it somewhere else and I'll
throw it in a box. Yeah. I guess there's nothing like finding a new place for something that you
would like, don't want to think about, but you might need someday. And you're like, oh wait,
this could go, this could go right here and I will never see it.
This is great.
This is perfect.
I still want to hold on to the idea that I'm the kind of person who would build a ship in a bottle.
That counts.
Colleen has like Spanish translation dictionaries.
And I'm like, what are we doing with this?
We have Google.
This book means nothing.
It's a piece of shit and uh all kinds of stuff we have textbooks from when we were in school we've got stuff that like just does not
we will never ever use and then on top of that you've got i've got a son who's a collector so
yeah we'll all be like ronan are you sure we need all these beans in your uh
in your cement truck yeah those are that's the cement okay all right i'll
find a place to put the beans while they travel or like sticks and things when i throw away his
sticks i we have a special box in our house where i put things that i don't want anymore of his
like shit that he brings home where i'm like okay that was we had a lot of fun with this pine cone
but it's time for it to go and And I'll put it there and just wait.
And if within that week, he's like, dad, where's my pine cone?
I'll be like, aha, I know exactly where it is.
And if he doesn't ask for it, it's gone.
I throw it away.
It's come down to bite me a few times where he's been like, dad, where's my best stick?
Uh, did a dog?
Maybe there's dogs on our street maybe a dog got it um but for the most part i can
just throw away his things and he will forget but he doesn't want to lose a single thing and it
drives me nuts man i can't i can't stress this enough i know it's it's it's got to be based in
reality beans is the funniest possible thing i didn't see beans coming and it really fucking got me
are you sure we need all these beans
he's got he's got a garbage truck and a cement truck that are like fully functioning the garbage
truck picks up trash on the side of it and dumps it a dump like a trash can in the back
but that means we have actual trash just sitting around our house like he just tears up newspapers and crinkles
crinkles them up and then we've got all these pieces of gum wrapper and newspapers and magazines
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like i wouldn't let him have actual sand or something like that in there because he brings
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pockets he finds beads at school i don't know where he's fucking getting like how many bracelets and necklaces are breaking
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honest not good beads i know i've seen good beads occasionally he's got a good one but for the most
part these suck and he's still like very precious about them
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Sure.
I think I just want to warn our listeners
because I'm going to be moving in the next three months.
We're going to be hearing about this a lot.
That's going to be good.
Especially because like in three and a half weeks,
the season of television for the show that I work for is over.
I'll have nothing going on,
but this move.
Yeah.
So strap in everybody.
That's part one of our seven part series.
Yeah.
We'll do,
we'll do move check-ins.
I like the idea of that.
That's all I had to say about that.
I thought you were going to say,
I started to take a,
a sip of LaCroix.
Cause I thought you were going to say more. Yep to take a sip of LaCroix because I thought you were going to say more.
Yep.
Nope.
I like the idea of that.
Gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp.
Nope.
Oh, that's it.
It's my turn to talk again.
All right.
Here we go.
I have a quick question for you.
Shoot.
This is a thing.
I've been to New York just to like hang out.
I haven't lived there for any period of time.
And LA car culture is huge here the garages are on the fronts of the houses because people care about their cars
is this and like you know there's people who soup up their cars here on every single street you're
gonna see somebody who's got like a big spoiler that does not belong on that car they put in
mufflers that make a bunch of noise is does that car culture exist in new york
uh not that i know of i keep my car in uh a stupidly expensive garage uh like a lot of people
out here and there's no drives you in that somebody drives you around your car because you don't it's
not even shut up it's not even uh there's there's a couple things about cars
that i miss from growing up that we had cars in our house in the suburbs of new jersey where uh
you can it was really easy to clean out your car and to clean your car instead of going to a car
wash like that was a a big part of my family like an event we would do together was getting out the hose
and getting some soap and water
and cleaning our cars in the driveway,
which is like a fun thing to do on a summer day
and also saves money from going to the car wash.
And like cleaning is a therapeutic thing to do.
It's very fun.
There's, I did a little of that in LA
and I do none of it here
because I keep my car in this garage.
I have to text the garage when i want my
car and i they want you to do it uh at least with an hour's notice but usually they're like can you
do it the day before because there's no real it's if you've been inside these these new y York garages, it's fucking chaos. It's just, it's not regulated.
There are just cars everywhere wedged in,
in this,
this,
this strange fucking checkerboard Jenga system that they have where they,
they need 24 hours to get your car because every car is load bearing of every
other car in there.
And once you get your car out of the garage,
you're not in a larger parking lot with some breathing room or anything like that.
I'm in an alley that some cars use to get into the garage
and some cars use for just through traffic.
So I don't have any time to leisurely clean my car there or clean out my car
or load in a ton of shit. any time to like leisurely clean my car there or clean out my car or like load
in a ton of shit I need to get out of there because I'm I'm at all times
blocking someone and I then immediately get out of the city and go somewhere
more pleasant and that's obviously not everyone's situation out here but that's
most of the people that I see we don aren't a lot of very nice cars, and there aren't a lot of no one stopping to appreciate cars the way I've seen in LA.
Like Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills, that's part of the appeal is there's going to be a line of very nice cars that sit there just to be looked at.
That is not our situation here.
just to be looked at that is not our situation here we cram too many shit cars into tight spaces and then we use them to cram into the tight streets and then eventually get out of here
right there they exclusively serve a purpose and it's like get you use it as little as you
possibly can yes the only other car thing that i i am anecdotally aware of here is because i'm right by the hudson henry hudson
parkway and uh late at night cars like to to drag race on it so oh it's it's it's very loud
at night and uh me and the rest of the moms on next door hate it yeah and there's nothing anyone
can do about it so they're there we all just impotently
post drag racing again two in the morning and i'm like yeah doris fucking sucks shit
i guess it's this way until we all die right all right so i guess that's what i was curious about
i mean we've got in terms of how a city is built la is just the sprawling nightmare. And so it's very conducive to cars racing each other and cars just being
cars out in the wild.
New York is not built that way.
So I was,
I'm surprised to hear that you've got drag racing there.
And that's the main reason I brought this up is that on my runs,
I'm in a neighborhood that frequently sees people out,
stretching their legs,
getting that car out on the open road and seeing what it can do.
And like whatever new modifications they've made to their car,
they're testing it out on this one long straightaway up just below.
There's a college called LMU here,
and it's got this long, long straightaway that goes up through Marina del Rey.
And they go crazy there. Every single run, I'm going to hear a car that goes up through um marina del rey and they go crazy there every single run i'm
gonna hear a car that goes you know and like takes off and i'm so annoyed by it yeah i'm so annoyed
by the idea of that car culture and like i hate loud cars i'm i'm i'm running and i'm thinking to
myself as i'm running like it's not fair not fair. Like in a way where it's a very,
feeling very sorry for myself thinking, dude, you've just chosen this, this personality.
Like you, this is, you've decided that cars are going to be your personality and you've chosen something that's so loud that people can't help, but pay attention to it. It's so performative
and silly. Oh my God, they're theater kids. And I was like, that's exactly what I did.
Like they just chose a different thing.
They had cars available to them.
They had like car magazines and stuff like that.
And I had theater and I was like,
what's something that I could do
that everybody has to pay attention to me?
And it's very loud, but everybody has to look
and maybe women will like it.
Yeah, there's something,
I wonder if this is how car people think.
Like I can't tell if car people think
they're doing a service
or if being annoying is part of it.
Like when I was in college
and I was just a little bit dumber than I am now,
I was really proud of my taste in music
and the mix CDs that I would make.
Yeah.
And like the rare songs that I would find that I thought,
I'm going to,
it's a nice day and I have somewhere to drive to.
I'm going to roll down my windows and I'm going to play my music very loud
because I think people will like it.
I think people are going to hear this remixed version of Hey Jude with a
different baseline.
And they're going to like,
stop what they're doing and be like, hey, yeah, that guy.
Thanks, kid.
Thanks for making my day better with this awesome diegetic soundtrack that you're providing for.
That was like a thing I believed.
It was a service I thought I was doing.
I got a little bit older.
I was like, oh, oh, I'm only the main character in this one story.
I'm not I'm not part of anyone else's.
I should stop being so obnoxious with my music.
So I wonder if these people with their loud cars
are driving around thinking
that everybody else likes loud cars very much
and that we're either impressed or jealous.
And if they harbor that idea, I want them to know that we don't.
I speak for everyone. I'm branching out from just speaking for Italian Americans and Irish Americans.
We all hate that. Every one of us hates your loud car. We don't think it's cool. We think
you've made stupid decisions. It sounds like an expensive mistake.
Well, I think that that's probably true because
you grew out of that and you don't see a lot of like 55 year old guys in their souped up centra
with a spoiler that goes six feet in the air like i think that a certain point you maybe
grow out of it a little bit uh the same way we did with our performative nature yeah but i will say
there's a lot of crossover everyone at this friendlies wants to hear me sing i'm gonna speak in english accent for the rest of the day
everyone on this metro okay with that now that i'm now that i'm this age there is
i don't think there's anything that would get me to grab a check at a tji friday's faster
than if i had seen what is clearly a high school cast party coming for their post-show dinner it's
like oh no fuck this fuck all this check forget i get it that's the worst you already cooked it
dump it in the garbage i'll pay for it i just i'm i'm seeing a bunch of horny 15 year olds with old
people makeup and i know they're gonna sing do you hear the people saying and i cannot be here
for it i have to go please yeah i thought maybe the the ultimate bad thing to
encounter out in the wild would be a bachelorette party but now i'm agreeing with you i think that
it is the it's the rap party it's like the cast party for a uh a show for like they're all gonna
be out there singing anything goes yeah in the middle of the restaurant uh and then also like
it'll be me on a date and then we'll faintly hear from the other room,
525,600.
We got to go, honey.
We have to go.
It's time right now.
Get the fuck out.
We got to go.
Leave your purse.
I'll buy you a new purse.
We have to go.
They say that bears have love affairs.
Oh, God damn it we got it um yeah so i think that i can i i
mean i remember i can point to like exact instances of my life when we were all like you know what
everyone on this plane would love like whatever it was wherever other human beings were trapped
with us we're like we all we all did this song um but uh it's i think it's the
exact same thing i think it's just like hunting for something that like oh this is this will be
my personality because it's so conspicuous and people can't help but notice it and that's like
what we were all just hunting for when we were younger um so i don't feel so bad about it anymore
now when i hear those
guys in their cars i'm like yeah yeah i get it let's misbehave i did that okay that's what you
think it is they they are trying to yeah they think you like it i didn't know if it was like
like confrontational asshole culture was part of it like do they know they're ruining my day
i think that they know they're ruining the squares day and if you're
the square then yeah they my terminology that's a very that was a very kind if of you if you're
the square like no no no no i'm the guy who's like hard as a rock for packing three months in advance
i'm cutting edge cool you are you're ready to be a dad you're like i'm while i'm out doing dry runs to the airport for a trip
i'm taking in two weeks i hear their cars and i'm i'm exactly the type of person that they want to
offend but yes i think that there's like they think that they're telling off the the people
who suck that are not on their team and then alerting themselves to the other people who are
on their team who are like yeah yeah, now that car rules.
And I mean, it's working.
It's fucking working.
I'm not their demographic.
I am the enemy.
So when they're pissing me off, I'm like, okay, you did it.
Yeah, there are like few small comforts that I want.
And one of them is like, I feel like if I'm outside listening to things in my headphones i should be able to at the very least
hear that in a city and these cars are so loud that i can't do that i have to like blow my ears
out or have to just accept that like all right for the next 30 to 60 seconds i can't hear anything
i can't talk on the phone i can't listen to my podcast or my music i just have to sit here and
like be aware of this noise until
the noise goes away i think it probably feels powerful too there's like uh people who ride
um motorcycles and i would put specifically like harley davidson type of that demographic not the
people who are on their little kawasaki's or whatever i there's uh there's a real pleasure
in making your motorcycle as loud as possible because that greasy thunder of it is powerful.
It makes you feel like, look what I have control of.
I can make that noise.
And I hate them too.
Did you ever want to have a motorcycle at any time in your life?
Yeah.
Well, certainly in la just for
practical reasons it's like the best way to get from a to b other than you'll eventually kill
yourself indefinitely and non-definitely i mean definitely um it it's like you watching them zip
through traffic it's so you're so jealous every single time you see it and you know they're pretty
cool it's cool to have a helmet on where no one can see your eyes or anything and you're just as um this robot to everyone around you you get to wear a leather
and it's fine that traffic thing for for any listeners who don't know i i believe technically
the laws are the same for motorcycles as they are for cars but everyone sort of looks past that in los angeles when you're
on on the freeway uh it's sort of assumed that the motorcycles are going to go outside and in
between the lanes and cops aren't going to do anything about it it's it's for the greater good
it's helping the overall flow of traffic but it's just it's a weird quirk that i noticed as someone
who as a a small kid was really uh excited by the idea of motorcycles
and wanted one and then by the time i was a teenager i was like no this is no longer appealing
to me i fall standing up uh never wanted a motorcycle until getting back to la i mean like
oh they could just they can really bypass all of this traffic and just and and freely get to their destination at a reasonable hour
that's very very appealing yeah it is legal here the motorcycles are allowed to share lanes with a
car yeah so that's technically sharing a lane each car that you're passing you're sharing a lane with
that car they're even allowed to do it with the uh hov lane the high occupancy vehicle lane oh yeah
uh so they're it's completely legal for them here to do it.
But what happens is you,
you know,
we're a tourism economy,
a tourism based economy here in Los Angeles.
Maybe that's not true,
but I mean,
there's obviously there's a lot of tourism.
I think the film industry brings in some cash flow as well.
It's the people coming to see the film industry.
They pays for everything.
Um,
so you've got people from other States where I don't think that's legal.
And boy, do they get mad when they see those motorcycles
humming through traffic and they will let them know.
And so, yeah, there's a lot of confrontations here.
But yeah, I definitely, I saw that happening and I was like,
yeah, I would like to be able to do that.
I would like to be able to just get to any destination I want to
in 25 minutes here.
Right.
You take a 12-mile trip that lasts as long as 12 miles is supposed to take.
Yeah, exactly.
So anyway, I don't begrudge these people who have chosen
very conspicuous and loud personalities that are built around some hobby.
I no longer begrudge them as much because I realize,
fuck, that's me too too i was just doing it
a different way i just oh this episode is about empathy and how you you accept people i don't oh
i thought i misread this situation i'm trying to be better i thought we were gonna write to
congress about loud cars well i mean i wouldn't mind i wouldn't mind honestly if we did that too
if we said that they couldn't make so much noise.
That would be great.
Let's see, let's see.
Well, there's one other thing I want to talk to you about, Daniel.
Oh, good. All right.
You may have noticed in the news lately
that something tragic has happened.
And I don't know that we have to wallow in the tragedy of it
as much as just talk about how it happened,
but there's a cinematographer died recently
during an accident on set with a firearm
where Alec Baldwin, it sounds like,
shot a director and shot a cinematographer by accident
with a prop gun.
And you and I have been-
On the set of the film Rust.
Yes, on the set of the film Rust.
The cinematographer's name was Helena Hutchins.
And the director is Joel Sousa.
And I know that there are a lot of people now that are out in the world on
Twitter.
That's where I see most of them speculating on what happened.
People who have never been on a film set in their entire life,
speculating on what happened.
And there's a lot of scrappy young detect detectives who are who think they're solving this
thing and i wanted to like i can't respond to each one of those people nor would i want to but i want
we you and i have been on film sets before and on sets where there have been firearms and like
just set the record straight as far as like what actually happens on a film set
when there's that kind of when there's like a firearm there.
Did you, have you shot guns on camera?
No.
Okay.
Not real guns on camera.
We would shoot fake guns on camera.
Yeah.
And we would always use After Effects generally.
And when we do sketches,
it was like, you're just pulling a trigger
on a gun that
isn't going to make any noise.
It's not going to have a spark.
It's not going to do anything.
But I've been on a set before
where I had to be shot in the face
in a movie called Chandler Hall.
And the amount of effort
they went into to make that safe
was like crazy, was crazy.
The gun does have to fire.
So there's going to be a flash
from the gun and they won't let you point the gun at somebody because even that the blanks inside can
create like a projectile uh so nobody the guy who's gonna shoot me in the head like couldn't
even he could use like uh camera tricks basically to show that it looked like he was pointing it at me, but he wasn't
really pointing it at me, even though we're both on screen.
There's also
a person there whose
job is to just be like, at every single
turn, make sure that this gun is not loaded.
I don't know how it would get
loaded, but like, and
his only job is to make sure, you know,
okay, this all looks good. The gun is clear. The gun
is in his hand. The gun is live. Everybody, the gun is live. And then there's also that during
the rest of the time, that prop's not just sitting around. Like it's not just sitting on a table
somewhere where people can come play with it. Like you're in a play in high school. It's like
that thing is put away and safe. So I don't fucking know how this kind of thing happens yeah i mean it's it's it's such
a tragedy and the reason that there there's a reason that the only uh point of reference that
people have when they're reporting on this story is the time it happened in like 1993 or whatever with brandon
lee on the set of the crow it is extremely extremely rare because film sets film crews
take this shit incredibly seriously they're trained to do that from the beginning every
single person who's been to film school and who's worked on any set has heard horror stories of
things going wrong with guns and it's like for as much goofing around as happens on sets that we've both observed,
this is something that is sacred.
You don't play around with this.
Everyone knows when there is a live gun on set.
Everyone knows to be respectful of it.
Everyone knows to stay away from it, to not play with it, to not touch it.
It is such a rarity that's what
makes this story such a a tragedy and such a surprise because it is something that everyone
everyone to a person wants to avoid and is aware and respectful of the danger which
makes me think let's just not ever have live guns on film sets anymore.
I mean, it's like a very easy thing to say now.
But like, we can fake it.
We faked it in sketches.
And it's very strange to me that like, even if the gun is not firing, but they still like
use a real, no longer functioning gun as a prop for the sake of realism.
Even that is bullshit.
I don't even care about that.
That's like, I've never once watched someone drink from a coffee cup and believed they
were drinking from a coffee cup in a movie.
You can tell it's empty and I don't care. It doesn't take me out of the movie. It's just a thing that I
understand intellectually as a human being who knows how movies work.
So I don't need to be completely fooled by, so thoroughly fooled because you're using a real gun
that someone is waving around. Just use a fake one. I'll be convinced by it.
There's a tweet that went around today from
craig zobel who worked on mayor of easttown says there's no reason to have guns loaded with blanks
or anything on set anymore should just be fully outlawed there's computers now the gunshots on
mayor of easttown are all digital you can probably tell but who cares it's an unnecessary risk
and like here's the thing i couldn't tell. Not one fucking bit on that show. No.
I think American Sniper is a great example of where our priorities have applied, which is we want the guns as accurate as possible.
We want the sniper rifle. We want it all to look right because it will take us out of the movie immediately if like the big bang bang isn't like exactly right.
But as far as a newborn baby, fuck it.
Put a cabbage patch in there.
Nobody will care. It doesn't matter all know it's it looks terrible yeah let's have that arm dangling you
know the way that baby's arms do and he has to he has to shake it in order for it to look like
it's moving in any capacity and it's just like jelly and flesh uh that was nobody cares it's
like yeah we'll all we'll all live with the fact
that we're not going to put a real newborn on the set.
That's fine.
Let's live with the fact that we're not going to put guns on the set.
Yeah.
Who needs it? Who wants it to be that way?
And we know very little.
This is, as we're recording this,
the day after the day of that we're learning
all this and an investigation
is still happening with the Sheriff's Department and there's a of that we're learning all this and an investigation is still happening with
the sheriff's department and uh there's a lot that we don't know it sounds like no one is committing
to saying that it was a bullet we're just they're they're all still just saying projectile which at
this point people who know more about yeah guns than i do will can can tell you what that could mean. All that is to say,
it doesn't need to be a bullet.
If you have a thing on set
that could accidentally shoot someone,
you should replace it with something else
with movie magic,
with props and computers.
Right.
Yeah, I think that that's probably true.
Did you ever see the Miami Vice movie?
No. I heard terrible things they used i think actual live ammo in the filming of that movie because they wanted michael mann wanted the sound right
he wanted i think that maybe a blink produces a different sort of sound or something or they
wanted just like the sounds of bullets whizzing in the air and stuff.
But yeah, they used real live rounds.
I think that, I don't know how they did it,
but that seems so reckless,
so fucking reckless in a way where I'm like,
don't, let's never,
why do we need that to be the authentic thing? Yeah, and like unnecessary.
What do you think your audience is coming to a movie for?
I've loved Indiana Jones more than most other film franchises.
And that set completely unrealistic expectations for what a punch sounds like.
Yeah.
It's a giant, loud, booming.
And then you hear someone get punched in real life.
And it's this weird like flesh on flesh.
Right.
It's unpleasant.
The movie version is better.
Give me the fake stupid loud version
we're not asking people to do knife fights in movies with like real blades
and in fact the blade whatever we're using the rubber knives that they're using in movies
they're gonna put in in foley they're gonna add 14 000 sounds to that where every single time the
knife flies through the air it makes the sound of itself coming out of a sheath.
It's like a shing, shing, shing.
Yeah.
It's not hitting anything.
It's just like we know how to make it sound really cool and we know how to make it sound hyper realistic and better than it would in the real world.
And like this Michael Mann thing, I feel like, and again, I haven't seen this movie, but if i went to it and his gunshots sounded more authentic
that would probably take me out of the movie because i'm used to fake gunshots now yeah
and anyway that's uh well it's just us preaching to each other who are agreeing yeah so it's a
horrible situation and and if you've been on a film set a very
surprising thing to see happening it's not it's not like this is a a regular accident that that
everyone saw coming this is everyone takes their jobs very seriously around guns and
uh that's i think that reinforces our point that like even when you've got an entire team of people
whose sole job it is to check the barrel of fake guns or real guns
to make sure that they're as safe as possible, something can still go wrong.
Get rid of the guns.
I feel terrible for Alec Baldwin.
Yes.
And also probably whoever the gun marshal was on the set that day.
Their lives are just different. Obviously, the people who died, their lives are gone. Or the one person who died, their lives. awful and also probably whoever the gun marshal was on the set that day like what i how their
lives are just different uh obviously the people who died their lives are gone but are the one
person who died their lives so it's not great for anybody but no the i they're just every every
direction i turn to try and get away from the story and the sadness of i turn to somebody else
i'm like oh that's just as bad that's also worse oh god yeah um so it's very sad and i hope that
it never happens again.
And there's a quick way to make sure it doesn't happen again,
and that's get rid of guns on sets.
Yeah.
Well, this podcast was now about something.
We've never done that before.
No.
We made a real stand.
Yeah.
On something that could be qualified as political.
Yeah. a real stand yeah on something that could be qualified as political yeah uh write your congressperson right yes write your congressperson but also as you're telling them about the guns
tell them to stop the cars the really loud cars yeah yeah put that i guess if i had to rank those
priorities yeah i would say the guns and then the cars as a deep second. But put it in the letters, all I'm saying.
Like, make it a new paragraph or a second page.
Just include it because, you know,
you never know if those letters are going to get through again
if you write a second one.
Yeah, and like, writing is free.
So just do it.
All right.
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uh so do that if that's interesting to you uh i think that's it i think that's it too yeah all right damn bye