Quick Question with Soren and Daniel - QQ ep 24 - Essentially, Under the Table and Podcasting
Episode Date: November 20, 2019In this episode the guys talk DMB, compare verbal and conversational crutches, and Soren learns about Dan's favorite early 2000's wrestlers! Also big thanks to Skillshare. Get 2 months of unlimit...ed access at Skillshare.com/QQ.
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So, hello again and welcome to another episode of Quick Question with Soren and Daniel.
We have been told that we need to say something up top, informing listeners that this is a new episode, so...
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All you Soreside Squad fans out there can go pound sand.
Sure.
Quick question is the advice podcast featuring two best friends and commentators.
commentators and if you're wondering why i used to say it was starring two best friends and have now downgraded it to featuring it's because in my opinion the real star of the show gotta be the
fans anyway i'm daniel and with me as always is soren buoy soren what's up hey hey hey uh that's
i'm just trying some new things okay how do you feel about it how do you think it went
in the middle of it i already didn't like it but i committed and went through the whole thing
and then paused to see if it worked for you and it clearly did so you're saying hey hey hey
to honor bill cosby yeah that's what immediately like yeah and by the second hey i was like
how do i know this oh no that's right That's right. Interesting choice. As always, we are Quick Question.
And as even more always,
you, our listeners,
prefer to be called
by your nickname,
which is,
Hit It Bacon, what is it?
Queltic Pride
starring Damon Wayans Jr.
Damon Wayans, not Jr.
We might have to start this whole episode
from the beginning. Is that a correct
impulse? I really like it.
I really like it.
I like that.
Maybe it's because I just got to see Bacon
Freeze.
It was such a treat for me.
Celtic Pride?
Celtic Pride. Is that a movie?
Celtic Pride.
Yeah, Celtic Pride. Damon Wayans movie? It's Damon Wayans. Celtic Pride. Okay.
Yeah, Celtic Pride.
Damon Wayans is a basketball player for the Celtics.
And then Daniel Stern.
And who's the other fella?
Is it Dan Aykroyd?
I think it is Dan Aykroyd.
I don't remember.
Daniel Stern's the one from Home Alone.
Yeah.
Two people kidnapped Damon Wayans to stop him from playing in this basketball game because they want the Celtics to win.
And he is a Laker, I believe.
Yeah, Laker and Nick, I think.
I think I've not seen the movie in 30 years.
Wait, so you think a movie called Celtic Pride is about a basketball game between the Lakers and the Knicks?
No, no, no.
I think he's on the Lakers or the Knicks and he's playing the Celtics.
Okay, yeah.
But honestly, Dan, I have not seen the movie.
No, but you're right to assume it's that famous franchise feud of the Celtics and the Knicks.
I love it.
I love it.
The first thing that came into Bacon's mind was not anything that begins with a Q or a C or that rhymes with questions.
Hey, Celtic begins with a C.
Well, a soft C.
And it was a movie from 25 years ago that no one knows.
No, this was a great move by me.
This is three good minutes of content.
Oh, it was a great move by me. This is three good minutes of content. Oh, it was really good.
Just to be in your brain.
I would love to be there.
We should probably get into this show.
It's an advice podcast where we ask each other questions and get answers.
Soren, do you want to go first or should I go first?
Yeah, I got a question for you.
Okay, sounds good.
So when I was a kid, right around like nine or 10,
I got obsessed with a celebrity and it was a,
it was like a platonic obsession. It was a male celebrity that I just sort of idolized and just
picked up and decided I was going to idolize because I don't know, maybe I felt like that
was something you were supposed to do. And I've since talked to other people. I have a friend,
Ben, who's now a very successful producer who said that, oh yeah, I went through
that same thing.
I really idolized Arnold Schwarzenegger and I had posters of him all over my room.
And this is like before T2 even.
So he just picked this bodybuilder and was like, this is the guy.
This is what I want to be.
And the path to producer runs through being a bodybuilder.
It's true.
The path to producer runs through being a bodybuilder.
That's true.
And I'd picked, at that age, I picked Kirby Puckett, who played for the Minnesota Twins.
Was a kind way of putting it is he was portly and great hitter, but just kind of like a heavyset baseball player.
He was very good, but I was obsessed and had Kirby Puckett posters all over my room.
I had a bat signed by Kirby Puckett.
I had framed photos of him and I collected every Kirby Puckett card.
I could,
I could get my hands on.
He's a slugger.
Hey,
he is.
That's his main thing.
Yeah.
He's a big hitter.
He's an outfielder who occasionally,
a lot of times it looked like he was on roller skates,
but occasionally he made some really great plays defensively but mostly he was just known for his hitting yeah
and i was obsessed with kirby pocket and in a way that i don't know like i look back and i wonder
if my parents thought maybe it was unhealthy because there was nothing else in my room but
minnesota twin stuff and kirby pocket stuff and i didn't watch a single twins game uh until they
were i guess in the world series in 1987 i watched but they before that I didn't watch a single twins game, uh, until they were, I guess in the world
series in 1987, I watched, but they, before that I didn't watch a single twins game. I didn't know
more than two other players on the twins. I didn't care much about baseball at a professional level.
I just liked this guy. Yeah. Uh, and I think a lot of kids have this. And I was wondering if you had
somebody that you idolized when you were young uh i did i
think older than you so uh less forgivable but just real quick you didn't you weren't like a
rockies fan growing up in colorado so i'm old enough that they were an expansion team in 1991
meaning that i was a baseball or a baseball fan i was a curry pocket fan before they were even an expansion team. I see. Okay. Yeah. I guess like a male celebrity, there's two and they're both embarrassing.
One is Dave Matthews.
Hell yeah.
And one is Jeff Hardy from wrestling. Which would you like to hear about?
Hardy from wrestling. Which would you like to hear about? I'm thinking. I'm a little thrown because I figured it would be Victor Wooten from Bela
Fleck and the Fleck Totems. I think I want to hear the former.
So, Dave Matthews really resonated with me and I distanced myself as I've gotten older
because I feel like there's weird associations
with Dave Matthews band culture.
Like it's been appropriated
by this aggressive frat boy culture.
There was like, oh, I'm not interested
in being associated with that.
But I genuinely loved his music for so much of my life.
And even being like 12 years old and looking at him,
I knew in my bones, I was like, I'm probably also going to be balding in a couple of years.
And I like that this guy seems to be like balding and doughy and he's got a weird voice and he's
kind of a spaz, but he is somehow still sexy.
That is interesting to me.
That is a path that I hoped I would go down one day.
And I was like, I'm never going to be conventionally hot.
I'm never going to be cool.
But Dave Matthews somehow makes all of his flaws work.
And I hope to do similarly when I reach his age.
How did you feel about Phil Collins?
Ah, sucked ass.
It's like basically the same trajectory.
No, the bass in Phil Collins sucks.
Okay.
So I was a big fan of Dave Matthews back in the day.
And in fact, learned a song by Dave Matthews
as one of the first guitar songs I ever learned
to impress a girl.
Which song?
I learned Satellite.
That intro to Satellite.
You fucking basic ass dork.
Yes, very much so.
On every single level.
I mean, just as milquetoast as they come and uh like i
even ushered her over to the music room one day school and i was like i i learned to play this
song for you and she was like you're not playing it quite right yeah and to be fair i wasn't it's
hard and but still like pretty low blow no and i No, and I also, like, I can't.
I called you a basic-ass dork just now, and I apologize for that
because I can't really come down too hard on you for that
because my version of that is bringing a high school girl into my attic
and being like, do you want to hear the bass line to Ants Marching?
And here it is.
Fowl.
Fowl, fowl, fowl it is. That's not the bass line. Oh.
Yeah.
I mean, closer.
It's the thing you don't even recognize in the song.
Right.
There's like, well, everything, all the bow, bow, bows are going on.
There's some other little like fingering that's happening.
Right.
It was like, hey, Christina, come here.
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do,
do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, hey, Christina, come here. Do you know what that is, Christina?
Do you want to French me now because I did that?
Anyway, there's the Sublime poster on my ceiling.
That's great, man.
So what was your favorite Dave Matthews song?
Man, that's such a great question.
I still think Ants Marching fucking slaps. Hold on. Let me let me and I'm basically answer this. Okay, I let me see if I can guess what your favorite song was. Oh, do it. Let's see. Let me go through my vast knowledge of Dave Matthews. Oh, Warehouse. It's fucking Warehouse. No. Oh, you don't even know that one no i think that's on ants marching
it's not ants nothing can be on ants marching if anything it would be under the table and dreaming
i don't fuck all right it might actually be something off if i'm being honest it might be
something off some some devil i don't even know what that is that's his solo album that he he
like briefly stepped away from dave matthews band and just did Dave Matthews stuff.
I really like Grave Digger
a whole lot. You really did love him.
And oh you know what?
Stay or Leave. Stay or Leave is the one.
Okay. Yeah alright.
That makes sense. Does it?
Yeah.
Alright. That's like a kind of like a fun
oh no I'm thinking of Wasting Time. Yeah. No.
Where he's like talking about licking sweat off a chick's chin.
He's such a pervert.
Yeah.
So many songs about like, I want to drink the sweat from like the opposite of your knee.
That weird like cup that forms when you curl your knee back.
Yeah, I guess I understood that too.
Because when you're young, you don't know what sexuality is yet.
Everyone does it behind closed doors.
There's like a language to it and everything that you're not privy to.
And when somebody opens the door to that, even regardless of what they're saying, you're
writing that shit down because you're being like, this is all I've got to go on.
And he was giving you that, like the hike up your skirt a little more.
And you're just like, okay, I guess this is the language of romance.
I'm going to try this.
Right.
And coming up, when I was coming up, there was like, we had that, I'm a little bit younger
than you, but the huge rise of boy bands of like the Backstreet Boys, NSYNC, 98 Degrees,
O-Town, World.
And I was like, oh, I don't think I'm any of those fellas. And there's also
like Cisco doing his thing and Eminem doing his thing. I'm like, nope, strikes two and three.
And then I see, oh, people seem to be attracted to Dave Matthews and Ben Folds. So, oh, that's
my lane. That's where I'm going to go. Those are the guys that I'm going to idolize because like they seem to be romantic while also being white and soft, which is my whole vibe.
Yeah. Were you a big Nick Hornby fan when you were young?
Absolutely.
Okay. That tracks for me. Okay. Absolutely. Okay. Great.
So, you know, he's famous is Dave Matthewsthews live at red rocks yeah i had friends who
were there dan really yeah i mean i saw dave matthews and the band at the uh at uh central
park the concert in central park so you know they played they encored with watchtower so it's like
you know was that the tour where they famously parked on a bridge and just dumped a bunch of shit into the river no this was before that they were dumping
shit in different ways but this was before the literal shit dump okay all right you got any
questions for me and jeff hardy was the other one if you want that expanded at all oh wait oh fuck
i totally forgot i so i don't give a shit about wrestling but i think i'd like to hear this oh uh so the hardy boys uh my brother david and i got into to wrestling
later than you should like we were in high school so we should have been over wrestling but we we
were we got super into it i think because like 1998 1999 is like the raw era of the wwf that was
very exciting.
And it was like a war between WCW and WWF.
There's a lot of reasons to get into wrestling at the late 90s.
It was peak wrestling.
And we really, really got into the Hardy Boys because they were these high-flying brothers who never spoke
and were just like the most physically impressive lean panthers of wrestling and uh we
just we just glommed on to it and and jeff hardy was this guy like i i we've talked about this
before how i have no style no discernible like look or vibe, but I have been always envious of people
who had ostentatious style. And Jeff Hardy was this guy who wore like fishnet shirts and had
nail polish and like brightly colored long hair and never said a word and was, was very good at
his job of flipping in the ring. And I was like,
that's so cool.
I want to,
I want to one day be,
be a Hardy boy with my brother.
Pictures of him right now.
This is,
this just looks like big boy and Andre 3000 as wrestlers.
The Hardy boys.
One of them is.
Yeah.
Well,
one of them is like,
he's,
he's clearly the clear,
the clean cut one.
And then one of them just,
just wearing a wetsuit.
Sometimes, sometimes he's got a mask on his hair is two different colors. He's clearly the clean cut one. And then one of them is just wearing a wetsuit sometimes.
Sometimes he's got a mask on.
His hair is two different colors.
Got some sheepskin pants on.
They looked different in the old days, I would say. Okay.
But I was very jealous of his confidence to dress very ostentatiously
and also be like clearly a physically impressive force.
That makes sense.
That tracks.
If you have like the skills, the chops to back it up
when you are willing to go out there and be seen.
Yeah.
I get where that,
I know how to scratch that itch.
Like I remember as a kid being like,
you want to,
you want that shortcut to being an interesting person.
You want to like dress flashy,
but then you need something to back it up with.
And when you see somebody who's doing it that way,
you're just like,
fuck,
how do I,
how do I get those qualities?
Oh,
I have to work at them.
Oh,
all right.
All right.
Let me think about this.
And I think my brother and I were somewhere between backyard wrestling and serious pursuit of being a wrestler.
Like we both did engage in backyard wrestling shit.
We would just like wrestle with our buddies and film it.
buddies and film it. And had a few semi-serious conversations, which was like, what if we just actually really thought about this and tried to be professional wrestlers? That was a thing that
I thought about for a couple of years of my life. That's amazing. I think that that trajectory is
not that uncommon. I think that kids who end up being writers for tv or end up becoming comedians either wanted
to be wrestlers when they were young or wanted to be magicians when they were young yeah and i
wanted to be both they're kind of the same thing yeah it's very presentational it's about like just
trying to make the world magic or like you don't create a world that doesn't totally make sense for
everybody around you yeah i'm i'm all for this this is a tangent but i would uh just had my
niece's birthday party and i was there with my niece and my nephew and uh it's shortly after
halloween so i had a bunch of extra kit kats and i decided to bring them with me and hide them
throughout my my person like my coat and my pockets and stuff. And, uh, would occasionally
sneak them into my nephew's hood, like the hood. And he was wearing a hoodie. So I would sneak
them to the back of the hood or would sneak them into his pocket or sneak them somewhere else.
Just so time would pass. And I'd be like, Hey, Hey, Colin, check your, check your hood, buddy.
And he'd be like, Oh my God, there's a Kit Kat there.
I did that for the entire night.
And it was a whole night where he thought magic was real.
And I want, like, that's what I want my function to be as an uncle.
It's just like, yeah, let the kids think that magic is real for as long as I possibly can.
And let them wake up tomorrow questioning, where do those KitKat bars
come from? If I can keep sneaking them in different places, then I've done my job.
That's the best part of being a parent is that you get to leave the world as big as possible
in their minds for a while. And so I will do magic for my son, magic that I learned when I
was young. I thought I was going to be a magician. And I'll do coin tricks for him. I'll do closeup magic or I'll do card tricks.
And he goes nuts. Like it's so cool to him. And he's at the exact age where he can actually
realize what's going on. And it's so much fun. And he sucks at like, he's so easy to misdirect him.
And I would do the same thing while he's eating dinner like i'll put a quarter into his into his shirt pocket and and then later he'll find it and be like
how and then as he's looking at it like i'll slip another one into it take that one from him
let it disappear and then tell him to check his pocket again and he'll do it and it's just
it's amazing it's the look on their faces is funny. Here's the thing I'm very curious about for when your daughter gets older.
Because what I'm doing with Colin, with the nephew, I'm sneaking chocolates into all of his pockets and his hood.
And he believes it every time.
And then I tried to do it with Charlotte, who is younger than him.
And I was like, oh, Charlotte, where did that Kit Kat come from?
She's like, I think you reached into that bag and put it in your pocket and then snuck
it into my pocket.
Shit.
You got me.
Yeah.
I have no idea.
I believe that girls mature a lot faster than boys.
Yes.
Well, Dan, I'd like to hear a question from you, but let's do it after the break.
Okay.
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What a good break.
Soren, quick question.
What's a small change you've made in your adult life that has actually stuck?
This is a, it's like a very small thing.
I can give my answers before if that's helpful to you.
Yeah, go ahead.
This was maybe a year and a half ago because my mom and I, we talk on the phone once a
week just to chat.
And she mentioned a rule of hers, which is
never leave for work in the morning with dirty dishes in the sink. And like, even if it's,
it's something simple, like a coffee cup, just don't do it. And I started doing that and it
stuck. There are so few things that actually stick, like so few patterns that make their way into my rotation. And this one does. It's a good habit that now I swear by.
It's the same as like a couple of years ago, I just decided the first thing I do when I'm
going to wake up, no matter what's going on, I'm going to make my bed. And there are no excuses
for not doing that. And then I do it, Making my bed and getting dirty dishes and cups out of my sink
are things that are part of my daily routine
and I'm so happy that they're there.
That's a good one.
I think as an adult, it's hard to get new things to stick.
Especially when you live alone.
Yes.
It's so easy to fall back into those patterns.
You're not accountable to anybody but you.
Correct. I'm proud of you, Dan. Yes. It's so easy to fall back into those patterns. You're not accountable to anybody but you. Correct.
I'm proud of you, Dan.
Thanks, buddy.
Yeah, it sounds like a small feat, but I don't think it is.
It's like I've tried to change things in my life at this age,
and it's just like, well, fuck it.
Right.
This isn't taking.
Right, because for like over a decade,
I could just let plates pile up in the sink before cleaning them,
and it wasn't a problem because it's just me.
And you cleaned plates when you ran out of plates and that was it.
But I've learned from doing it that it's way better to come home to not a bunch of dirty plates in the sink.
It's really nice.
And like coming home to like when it's time to go to bed, especially because like I spend no time in my bedroom during the day.
Like it's a sacred space.
So going in there to just walking into a clean made bed is the best way to end your night.
It is.
Let's talk about that.
I'm not good at it.
It's so selfish of me.
I'm the last one to get out of bed in the morning,
and I should be the one making the bed,
and she's the first one to go to bed at night,
so I should be making it for her, for my wife,
and I just don't.
And I know what it feels like to come and get into crisp covers,
crisply tucked in covers and how nice it is to go and inviting it is to walk
into a bedroom that has like a warm glowing lamp and a nice made bed and just
slip in there.
And I just,
I leave it in ruins for her.
It's wrinkly and the bottom,
even the pad underneath has somehow folded over.
So she makes the bed every day or do you just not have a made bed sometimes?
We just don't have a made bed. Yeah. You know what? I'm going to try. Okay. Starting today,
I'm going to really make a concerted effort. We'll check in next time. I'm going to make
a concerted effort to make the bed every single day and see if you can teach this old dog some new tricks
it's not even a trick it's just like a simple mundane thing that i should be doing
it's very mundane but like the but it took me a very long time to get into it and it's the
the two parts that i like about it is one, having a purpose the second you
wake up. And like, I need that more than you do because you have a child, which probably requires
some attention in the morning. But I like to have, okay, I'm awake. What is my purpose right now?
Okay, make the bed, make the bed nice. nice good and that makes sure that the first thing
you did when you woke up mattered and i also like it for the last thing you see before you go to
sleep when i just like walk into my bedroom was like oh good this is a nice peaceful prepared
place for me to go to sleep it does seem simple but i think i see how it would change your entire
mindset going to bed at night you feel like such you feel like less of a piece of shit to walk into a prepared room yeah
absolutely like like the the times that I've slipped and I've walked in and like the room
has been messy and it's like oh fuck come on man come on past Daniel I had a tough day
and now I gotta I gotta figure out the sheets. Come on, buddy.
Yeah.
Whose team are you on?
I did do one in my adult life that I'm proud of. I guess it was my early 20s. I just gave up beef.
I stopped eating it. And it happened when I was, there was this environmental club
and I was going to join it because there was a girl in the
environmental club that i liked what was her name her name was colleen oh there's a story about my
wife uh i like this girl and this woman i like this woman and And I joined this environmental club right around Arbor Day.
And they were thinking about what to do for Arbor Day.
And I was like, I'm going to...
I'm sorry, pre or post 9-11?
Post 9-11.
Okay.
Interesting.
Okay.
So picture this.
The towers are down, right?
Yeah.
Now go all the way to California and that's where we are.
And so,
uh,
everyone else is reeling,
but life goes on.
And I decided,
okay,
for Arbor day,
I'm really going to impress her.
I know these facts about,
uh,
deforestation,
central South America.
I know that the majority of it,
the slash and burn deforestation that happens in these countries is to produce
beef.
And a lot of that beef gets sent up to the United States for fast food.
And I was like, I wonder if I could figure out if everyone didn't eat beef for a day, how many trees hypothetically you would save from that.
And I said-
Yeah, I want to just say, like, you're not just impressing her.
Our audience is fucking sopping right now.
They're slipping out of their chairs.
Sliding out of their goddamn chairs.
right now they're slipping out of their goddamn chairs uh and so i uh i was researching it and came up with like realized some really horrifying things about how much how much grain and water it
takes to raise a single cow how many resources it takes and how they're one of the biggest animals
that we eat and just how much they consume in terms of food and just space on the earth.
And then I learned that if everyone cut their beef intake to one half, then there'd be no more
need for this. Everyone in America cut their beef intake to one half. There'd be no need for this
deforestation in Central South America. I don't remember where that fact exists or if it's true,
but it-
It's a Snapple cap.
That's where I did all my research. It took forever to find ones that weren't about butterflies
or hummingbirds. And when I read that, I was like, what? I'll just stop eating beef all together.
How hard could that be? And I just did. And I'd eaten a lot. I would eat it all the time before
that. I was way into fast food.
I was the only type of cooking I knew how to do was grilling.
Yeah.
And I just gave it up.
It's difficult to difficult.
It's difficult to be into fast food and not favor beef.
Absolutely.
It's all built around beef.
That's the star of fast food.
Yeah.
And so, yeah, it was, I don't even remember it being that complicated at first.
I think I just was like, I'm going to do this and just did it.
And looking back on it, I'm like, wow, Soren, well done.
Did you tell your parents, like when you went back to Colorado, did you tell parents where
you're like, hey, I'm here for Christmas break.
Please don't make beef based dishes. Yeah. Anytime. How do they feel? Well, my mom had already started doing
something similar to that. She was, she was trying to be healthier and I think she started trying
being, she would dabble in vegetarianism occasionally. So they were pretty accepting
of the idea. And then when it would show up on plates, occasionally we'd just go to dinner or we'd go to some friend's house and they'd be serving something with meat. And I
just push it aside and eat the rest of it. And occasionally if that was the star of the meal,
then I would be polite and I would have a little bit, but ultimately I don't eat beef and I haven't
since then. That's a pretty good answer. I find that I get sick a lot less.
Really? Yeah. You think it's beef related? No, I have no idea. That's what pretty good answer. I find that I get sick a lot less. Really? Yeah. You think it's beef related?
No, I have no idea.
That's what I tell myself.
Yeah, I find that I get colds a lot less than I used to.
Did you eat, were you like a big vegetable kid growing up?
No, I hated vegetables.
Me neither.
And I'm still not as an adult.
Yeah, I've told you how I eat.
I'm starting to get worried about it.
I don't think it's something to be worried about.
I think that I don't think it's just, yeah.
I mean, you're an adult and you know that you're supposed to consume them.
You're also at an age where you don't have to like it.
You just do it and you get it out of the way.
And that's fine.
You can go on functioning that way forever.
I've told you that when Colleen's not around at home, I don't make a salad for dinner.
I've got no interest in like trying to dress up vegetation and then consume it.
So I just take, first of all, I shut my blinds so that no one can see what I'm doing.
And then I take whatever-
You blindfold your son as well.
I blindfold Ronan and I say, don't look at me.
And then I open up whatever plastic container of rabbit food we've got.
And I take a big handful, like enough that you would fill a salad bowl with.
And I pack it down like a snowball in my hands as small as I can.
And then I stuff the whole thing in my mouth.
And you'd be shocked at how much, how like how it's like a snake unhinging its jaws,
how much I can fit in my mouth.
It's like a baby deer that i'm consuming and i i put all that in my mouth and chew it till it's gone and then i'm
allowed to have my meal after that a snake consuming a baby deer goodness gracious
that's also very very similar to uh the simpsonsons episode where Homer condensed a family amount of spaghetti into a bar, ate it, and then called the hospital.
That's right.
Soren, I know you notoriously love fast food.
Yes.
So what are you doing at these places?
Oh, man.
I could go on and on.
The menu items that I found at every fast, restaurant have kept me in the business. I keep going, you name a single one. And like, I can tell you exactly what I get there.
Del Taco. before that i would get a big fat chicken taco i would get a bean and cheese quesadilla and bean
and cheese burrito with red sauce which is like their best thing on their menu and uh occasionally
i get a quesadilla as well uh at mexican at taco bell you can get a mexican pizza without beef
it's banging it's so good wendy's oh what do you get at wendy's spicy chicken french fries dr pepper
see at del taco they don't have Dr. Pepper.
You got to go with Mr. Pibb there.
And Pibb Extra is a little sweeter, but sometimes it's a nice little treat.
I thought you liked Pibb's more than Dr. Pepper.
I think I've matured into a Dr. Pepper fan.
Oh.
Yeah.
I know for a fact that you're going to get fast food tonight.
You're right.
And you're already thinking about it.
So what's on the docket?
Well, on my way home, I had to go buy a Jack in the Box, but I also go buy a Popeye's.
And I'm curious if they've got those sandwiches yet.
Most likely I'll end up at Jack in the Box though.
Oh, and like, so there's some places that beef is the only thing, like a Five Guys or
a In-N-Out.
And at those, I get a grilled cheese.
And at In-N-Out, the grilled cheese is fire.
It's, you get a grilled cheese animal style.
So it's got grilled onions and cheese and lettuce and the sauce on it. And it's like you're eating a burger. It's great. All right. Hey, Dan,
quick question. Go ahead. Nobody has to spend more time with you than you. And when you have
conversations with people, do you find that you are reliant on a conversation crutch? That can be
like a single word that just gives you time to stall and think about what to say next. Or it can
be something that you find yourself saying all the time and you kind of hate yourself for doing it, but you can't help yourself.
I can go first.
Yeah, please go first because I think I have a kind of twist on that answer.
Okay.
But go on.
I have two.
Okay.
But go on.
I have two.
When I try and talk about anything that's theoretical or hard to, I need time to think as I'm talking.
I say essentially over and over and over again.
I can't help myself.
And it gets to the point where that's all I can concentrate on.
And then I'm not thinking about the thing I need to be thinking very hard about.
And so essentially just starts coming out more and more and more.
Oh, the word essentially, it's not like a topic that has a crutch.
It's the word.
The word essentially, I need so badly.
It's a long word.
It gives me a lot of time to think.
And the way that I use it, it's the same way as people use like.
Yeah.
Because it's approximately is how I'm using it.
But it's a longer version of like. It sounds a little bit better than like, but I realized I was just'm using it. But it's a longer version of like,
it sounds a little bit better than like,
but I realized I was just substituting it
because I worked very hard not to use like anymore
and then realized I was just using essentially instead.
And it drives me crazy.
I think I've used basically that same way.
Yeah, basically is a killer.
But I also, I think I misunderstood your question.
I thought it was going to be something like you're at a party and you're meeting strangers.
And what is the conversation topic?
Yeah, dude, this is, yes.
That you lean back on.
Both of these.
Because I have one for that as well.
Yeah.
I don't have a specific topic, but I do.
Something that I think I learned from you is just asking a series of questions until you find something.
Which is how I am at parties. Like, like I, I won't connect immediately to a person and being present in the moment, but I meet someone who's like, Oh, this, this is, this is Darren. Like
Darren. Okay. Where are you from? Pittsburgh. Okay. I don't know anything about Pittsburgh.
where are you from pittsburgh okay i don't know anything about pittsburgh what do you do coding okay i don't know anything about coding where are you going for christmas
maui okay good i know maui let's talk about maui like like like you ask a certain amount
of questions until you find something like i've i've lived a long enough life that I have conversation points for different answers for very basic
questions. Yeah, that was going to be mine. Yes. That's what I rely on so much where,
like I was at a party a week ago and I was like, oh, you're a cop. Okay. Where are you
from originally? You went there? Okay. Where'd you go to school colorado oh colorado i know
colorado let's talk about fort fort collins colorado and now i'm in the game because i've
i've like found a piece that i can connect to that's i i'm glad you brought that up that's
something that i do and i just did it the other day i met your office mate for the first time
and you teed me up so nicely with it you You're like, he also likes to climb. And I was like, yes, there it is. That's the one. And then we can talk about that. But
it always starts the exact same way. It's me trying to figure out a destination that we have
in common. It doesn't have to be where they live. It's just like, if I know anywhere that you've
been, we finally have something to talk about. Yeah. And I do it every single time.
And it's so hollow because I do do it every single time, but I can't help myself.
As soon as I meet somebody, it's the first thing I'm like, instead of the quintessential
conversation starters, how about them cowboys?
You don't ever start with a declarative sentence.
Oh, I guess that's a question.
But like, it's still like you're leading the conversation.
Instead, you can just be like, these very open broad questions and as soon as you can narrow in on something you're just like
okay all right i'm locked in and now this can be a tolerable interaction which is like not the best
way to go and it's that's like panic mode that's going into any conversation with the idea of
all i have to do is keep this thing from exploding. Right. And that's how I meet every single human in the world.
I remember I was at a party years ago
with someone who was also in our vague industry
of internet comedy entertainment content.
And we'd met each other before
and then we were at this other party.
And as soon as I talked to him, I was like,
Oh yeah,
yeah.
Let's let's,
uh,
so what are you,
what are you working on now?
What's,
what's going on with your,
with your website?
And he was like,
Hey,
let's not talk about work.
Let's not talk about internet stuff,
movie stuff.
And you would never see me more panicked in my life.
It was like,
Oh no, that's what I'm supposed to do with you.
Can we please?
I don't want to talk to you about anything else.
This is like all of every conversation is just strategically deployed conversation navigation.
And I've been in situations where I'm talking to somebody,
I'm like circling, I'm trying to find anything that we have in common. And when it's not working, and it's clear that I'm asking too many questions, I'll just land on something
and just start making stuff up about it. And just like the what limited knowledge I have,
and then try and sound like I know what I'm talking about as long as you have like you know the language of everything you're okay i think yeah uh there's special words
that are buzzwords of any any field and as long as you can land on one of those people are like
oh he knows his shit do you remember your your your first conversations with bacon
yes i do i remember exactly where we were.
Really? Yeah. Um, bacon was somebody, I think you'd already started working with cracked a little bit.
And, uh, my first impression of you was like, Oh, he's a bro. Like he's got no interest in this
incorrect. He's a, he's a bro. And then, uh, I saw him at the gym confirming again that he was a bro to me but we recognized
each other and he was so warm and kind and like came up to me and he's like hey soren hey i want
to introduce myself my name is michael and we talked for a little bit in the gym and he was
very disarming in a way where i was like oh this guy's way more than a bro. And then, of course, find out later that he makes jams and he sings acapella
and has 47 pictures
of Captain America in his house
for whatever reason.
Is that the right number, Bacon?
Do you want to speak on that?
Yeah, but only three of them are framed.
I did some digging. Oh, do you want to speak on that yeah but only three of them are framed i did some digging oh do you remember when you first met bacon i actually don't i uh i i think i was probably antagonistic towards him because he was taking over for uh the person who had his
job previously that uh became a very good friend of mine and i like it was it was hard for me to
accept a new business bro in this position uh but then i i later found out what a fucking dork he is
so we bonded over there yeah i would say that to qualify when i thought he was a bro i didn't think
i want nothing to do with him i thought he's too cool for us.
Yes.
I don't, I'm not going to bother him.
I got to track down social media.
And while I do that, I wanted to give you some time.
You would, I know one of the biggest causes that you champion is that a sweatshop is a derogatory term for what's ultimately a pretty self-empowering opportunity for kids.
I wanted to give you the opportunity.
You had some other ideas for what they should be called instead that were a little more flattering and to just list a couple
of those. Yes. Thank you. Uh, so I didn't want it to be called sweatshop anymore. I wanted it to
have different names. Is that the premise of the thing that I said? Yeah. Something a little lighter.
premise of the thing that i said yeah something a little lighter good yep uh i mean just off the top of the dome this is like a first thought that probably you or anyone else listening had is is uh
get crops which it uh phenomenally is is similar and it it calls to mind harvesting good ideas and also good like wallets and dresses
and whatnot like you're gonna get them you know you're gonna get crops and another thing that i
i i thought of was uh sweat stop is that because they a sweat comma stop?
Or sweat question mark?
Sweat question mark.
Okay.
Stop. Because you're not going to sweat anymore after you put on these tops and these hats that we're making in this factory.
It wicks the sweat off you.
So, like, sweat, stop.
You know?
you. So like sweat, stop, you know? And another one that I've been toying with is let's stop, which is like, just cool it. Don't investigate what's going on. Let's just,
we're all so exhausted. We've all been, we're all so busy. So like, let's just stop, you know?
Let's stop looking into things.
Yeah.
I'm glad that you clarified that, that it wasn't about let's stop these, this practice.
It was let's stop looking into this.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, Ronan Farrow did his investigation.
That's enough investigations for the 2010s, I think.
So let's stop.
Let's just stop looking into stuff.
We did it.
We got it.
So like, you know, find another hobby.
On Twitter, you can follow...
Find another hobby that isn't investigative journalism.
As a hobby.
Okay.
On Twitter, you can follow Daniel at DOB underscore Inc
for more insightful ideas like that. Soren at Soren underscore LTD. You can follow Michael at MakeMeBaconPlease, spelled P-L-S. Or you can follow QuickQuestion at QQ underscore Soren and Dan. You can email us at QQ with Soren and Daniel at gmail.com.
I'm sure Instagram at some point
will be up and running,
but I'm not going to give it to you.
Wet mop is another thing
we can use to clean it up.
Wet mop.
Wet mop.
Like that conjures to the mind
cleanliness, hey?
Right?
So maybe we start calling it that.
Honestly, that's another job too.
What are you doing
with your wet mops, Nike?
And it's a whole nother job you just created with wet mop.
Yeah.
You can, well, you know what?
You're not going to be able to follow, find, or hire our producer and sound engineer and
editor because he doesn't want to be known to this world.
He's wearing a bandana right now over his face.
So we don't even know his true identity.
His name is Gabe, as far as we know.
Or you can follow us on Patreon at patreon.com backslash you motherfuckers quick question
that's all sad flops that's not the one what do you think that means
uh just right like yeah oh okay i mean i i guess if if guess if I had to put a name to it,
Air Bud Golden Receiver.
That's a sad flop.
Because it didn't do as well as the first Air Bud.
These are all good points.
It 2.
Go on.
You're not going to do Celtic Pride?
Fine.
I'll talk to you later. you