Quick Question with Soren and Daniel - QQ ep 4 - Quick Question with Soren and Daniel

Episode Date: June 18, 2019

Hello, everyone, and welcome to another episode of Quick Question, the podcast where two best friends separated by 3,000 miles get together to get answers to all of life's questions, including the most important one. Did the world really need another podcast? The answer is, we have learned, no. So, you know, one of you other podcasts out there needs to go. There's no longer any room for you. Probably one of the crooked media pods, probably.

Probably we don't need eight pods where white Obama bros talk about what we should do better. I don't know. I mean, that's kissing pretty close to what we are. Hey, who's that other voice? I'm Daniel O'Brien, by the way, but there's another half of this podcast.

Who is it? This is Soren Bui, the titular Soren from the podcast name. And you'll also occasionally hear from our CFO, Bacon. Hey, guys. Okay. I couldn't think of a word like titular. That's fine.

I think it's also very telling for the looseness of this podcast that I find charming that you said you're the titular host of this show, and I forgot to mention our names when I gave the intro for the host of the show. I just call it Quick Question the Podcast. I think, you know what? We've done enough of these. Oh, my God. We've stretched. We've warmed up.

I think everybody knows what the show is by now. Everybody knows, every single person knows that we are Quick Question the Podcast, and you, our loyal fans, are the Quicknulties and Quicklequidmans. Quicknulties? What about like a Quest Lovers? Hey, hey, no, we got it. Sorry, buddy. Couldn't hear you over how right I was. Hold on, I'm going to write down Quest Lovers because I like that. Okay, well, write it down, put it in a bottle, put it down your fucking sink.

It's all going to the same hell. This is a show where we ask each other quick questions about all kinds of stuff. Today we're going to cover some important stuff about food, important stuff about commutes. We're also going to surprise each other with some questions, as we always do. Before that, just like generally, what's up, Soren? How's it going? Yeah, I'm good. Yeah, I just got done with a field trip for my son's daycare. I went on it as like a chaperone. We went down to an adventure park

or a theme park, I guess is what they're called. Yeah, adventure park. So it's close enough to Disneyland and Knott's Berry Farm that no one goes to this thing. It's like perfect for kids that are four or five years old. And it's empty. I mean, you can go on every single ride. And I realized on it that i've outgrown rides that even the slightest bit of spinning or going upside down it it has no hold

over me anymore i don't like it it ruins my whole day oh yeah i uh i've i've experienced that. It doesn't ruin my whole day, but I did find that I would go to Six Flags in my early 30s or Magic Mountain, whatever it's called in California. Yeah, Magic Mountain. I would love it. I'd be having a good time. Then I'd hit like 3 o'clock and it was like, oh, I don't want to experience this anymore.

I'm not going to get on another ride that's going to hurt my neck again. I've even noticed it when I go to the playground with my son. Sometimes Colleen will be pushing him on the swing and I'll sit in the swing next to him and I'll swing for a little bit. And as I'm swinging, I'm like, this doesn't feel great. Or I'll spin my son. Sometimes I put him in a bucket at home and i just whip him around and yeah i can only do it maybe twice because after that it's it's the it's comparable to being hung over

i feel so sick the rest of the day have you named your son on this podcast yeah is that a thing that you yeah i did when you did yeah yeah yeah okay his name is a infinity man yeah that's right that's right yeah uh yeah i called him ronan when. The very first one where I was talking about how Colleen was upset that I texted with periods. Oh, that's right. That's right. I took up Ronan. Yeah. It just made me, it put me in my head a little bit that I didn't know if you'd named him,

and then I wouldn't want to name him because I don't know how. Yeah. You're like a public person, and I don't know if the internet needs to know what your kid's name is, but that's fine. They do. Who cares? I've crunched the numbers. It doesn't matter. Yeah. We're going to ask each other some questions, but before we do, I want to dive right into a listener review. This is from MissletoneHolly1966.

This is a five-star iTunes review. This podcast is so good, we named our son Sorin 15 months before this podcast existed. Sorry, Daniel. Wow. That's pretty nice. For me? Yeah.

It calls to mind two stories. One, I think you already know where I'm going with it, so you can tell it. Yeah. This is at Calgary? Yeah. Yeah. So we went to a Comic-Con in Calgary, and it's a big deal there.

I mean, they have a lot of great guests that come, Stan Lee and Alan Tudyk and some pretty amazing people. And as we were walking the floor, these people approached us, a family, this man, his wife, and a small baby. And the woman was like, I'm so sorry to stop you. You, you guys are from crack. This is so exciting. Can we have a picture? And we were like, yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Cause like that doesn't happen to us enough that that's boring or tedious to us. We're like, yeah, absolutely. And so we get, we all get in there and we huddle and, uh, and he's taking the picture and he's, he's going, Soren, smile, Soren, smile, Soren, smile. And I'm grinning ear to ear, wondering what more I can do for this man.

Wondering why, why, what's real world. This is where smiles are something different than I think they are. And it turns out that his child's name is Soren. And as that dawns on me, it also dawns on them that they didn't tell us. And they went, oh, yes, he is named because we like your name. It was a very clear realization that you're watching it happen in real time. And he's like, oh, no. I'm going to have to explain this.

Yeah, watching their faces like, is there anything else we can do here? No, we got to come clean. This is going to freak him out. Right. And it was like, I believe the explanation was an incredibly normal thing where it's just like, listen, he's not named after you. It's not like we liked your writing or your acting so much that we tried to honor you. We heard your name and we liked that name right which I completely understand We figured we'd never have to tell this story to you. That's how I was named

My it's not a family name or anything There was another guy in Aspen that when my parents lived at the time who had the name Soren they happened to like the name He was a terrible person. I think his he had a friend who froze outside his house one night because he wouldn't let him in. Oh, Jesus. That sucked. Yeah, I don't know where that guy is now. Yeah. Oh, no.

Dead. He froze to death. No, no, no. This was his buddy. Oh, Soren. Soren. You don't know where Soren is. Right.

Yeah. I'm sure he's still crushing it. There's no justice. still crushing it there's no justice the other thing this kind of reminded me of that was on my mind recently just because uh i'm i am looking at reviews for this show and looking at people talking about it on twitter and it's the first time that i've been uh attentive to comments on work that we do from strangers in like two years, I guess. That used to be a huge part of, not a huge part, but it was like an inescapable part of our lives.

We're writing articles and we're making videos and we're very often dressed as ourselves with our names and people are talking about us in the comments and you just dive in there. about us in the comments, and you just dive in there. And it's often very pleasant, and certainly all the reviews and the stuff people have said about Quick Question has been very pleasant. But the sorry, Daniel aspect of this, where it's like, this podcast is good. We named our son Soren. Sorry, Daniel. There's a strange trend I've noticed in commenters that like unnecessary qualifications for things that just ruin someone else's day.

My day wasn't ruined, but it's still like a thing I didn't need to hear. And you'll see like I would write an article or you would write an article and someone's like, oh, man, this is so good. No disrespect, Daniel. Yeah. Michael and I were just talking about this because he found a comment on Quick Question. Yeah, it was on our Twitter feed. Let me try and pull it up. This is going to be a direct challenge to Jack and Miles at the Daily Zeitgeist.

Someone commented, I think it's important that Dan and Soren know their podcast. Quick question on Soren and Dan. Jumps to the top of my podcast queue each new episode release. Like, incredibly nice thing to say. And we're very grateful for people expressing that type of commitment. And then he follows up with,

I stopped playing Daily Zeitgeist to listen to this amazing show. Daily Zeitgeist tag. At Daily Zeitgeist to listen to this amazing show. Daily Zeitgeist tag. At Daily Zeitgeist. You don't have to do that. You certainly don't need to tell us. I don't mind him telling us. I'm very into

him telling, I feel like it's we're in the office with Jack again. It's like personally insulting Jack. This is the, and I think Soren, you have a similar, but on the opposite end of the spectrum, version of what I'm about to describe.

Man, I have this really weird habit where I bury the subject of a sentence way towards the end. I'm just all qualifiers and exposition first. So that you get the payoff. No, that's a natural joke instinct. It just, I need people to pay attention the whole time. And it only works if I start by confusing them.

What are these nouns and articles doing? When's it going to get to the meat? But anyway, a comment that I just found a style of comment that I found myself laughing about recently that I used to get all the time because we would do these videos and my vibe was

nerdy and nervous and awkward that was cultivated by design and specifically bad with women that was like true in agents of crack the show we did after hours the show we did was like nervous awkward sweaty that was like the joke bucket that we chose and when it was agents of crack like michael was the the pansexual heartthrob and in after hours you were you were the strong, confident heartthrob of that show. And these are standard comedic archetypes that leave a lot of room for people to play,

and we fit them well, and it was fine. And a comment that I found a lot that still makes me laugh and get upset when I think about it is when people would talk about either of the Daniel characters, and remember, they're using my name Daniel. It would always be someone who was like, this is going to sound crazy, but you know who I'm attracted to? It's Dan. It was always some version of, and like, I know, like, I'm not a leading man type.

I'm not your John Hms or your brendan frazers or what have you but i'm not like we didn't put on like ugly makeup for me or anything to dress me down or anything like i'm i'm a a fine decent person but just reading thousands of comments that were like listen you guys are gonna think i'm fucking nuts i'm gonna say something that is on the same level as an endorsement of terrorism, but I would let Daniel go on a date with me. Is that crazy? Me, who only dates tens, I would go on a date with him.

That's fucked up, right? I'm insane, right? Somebody hurt me. This is silly of me. How am I going to face my friends? Yeah, I remember that would happen. And my feeling was always like, thanks? I mean, if compliment is your intention,

I think it would help to remove some of the self-disgust and shame. Yeah. That would happen. Speaking of Calgary, when we would go to comic cons that that would that would happen occasionally where people would come up and they'd be like there's just it's something about you like i think maybe because i relate to you and it's you and like we have the psoriasis together and you're like well well hold hold on. I don't have psoriasis. You are a great access point for people. You are Peter Parker. Sure.

People, you are a glorified and very cool version of a nerd. And so there are a lot of people that I think feel special kinship to you. Right. And I'm supposed to be the bad guy. That's just my role. But also like on that, on the opposite side of the spectrum where on one end is me being, uh, in my opinion, a normal looking guy who at least is confident enough that he will film himself on camera, making content for you being like, I can't believe I'm attracted to this fucking goblin.

The opposite end of that spectrum has been people either meeting or commenting about you and being like, man, I can't believe this dumb fucking piece of eye candy ass who's just nothing but meat is actually smart.

Yeah, I can't remember who we met. Some writer from the site. And the first time we met him, I started talking to him and they said, honestly, I'm surprised you can string two words together. And I was like... That was writer Ian Cheeseman. honestly, I'm surprised you can string two words together. And I was like.

That was writer Ian Cheeseman. You know, he said, I think he said, I'm surprised you can string a sentence together. And I was like, fuck you. Yeah. An insane thing to say to someone who started out on the site as a writer. Right. Like multiple sentences, like probably most uh literary and poetic writer like you put more thought into how the sentences were constructed than uh almost anybody on the site

and separate from that you're none of your characterizations were stupid until i think we got to internet content like soren wasn't an idiot. You were just as handsome as you are. And strangers would meet you and be like, Ah, what's this dumb fucking Ken doll doing? Which is fine. What are you doing saying words? You steer into the skin. I mean, we...

I know what I look like. I know that there's an archetype that suits that. And it's like fine that's that's what i am that's okay i accept that i'm a blonde adult no one should trust me a blonde adult man culture has taught you i'm the bad guy yeah but all right um now that we're uh a third of the way into the show yeah let's actually start with the actual formula of the show. Yes. Soren, quick question.

Yeah, go ahead. And this is a real quick one. Tell me about what's your commute like? How long is it and what do you do on your commute? I mean, are you prepared for some really thrilling radio here? Absolutely. It's very simple. I don't leave until very late in the day because

my job doesn't start till about 10 30. And so all I have to do is basically drive North on one street and I drive for maybe 15 minutes and I'm there. What do you, what are we listening to? Oh, podcasts. Oh, okay. Yeah. Podcasts or I listened to, and this is, this isn't like something I'm proud of, but I have seriousius Radio in my car and I listen to Raw Dog, which is a, it's just a bunch of standups doing bits. And, but it's clearly not, I'm not the demographic of this show. They, it's. No, so you're listening to Sam Kinison at 10 in the morning? Exactly.

Yeah. I'm listening to Red Foxison at 10 in the morning? Exactly. Yeah. I'm listening to Red Fox talk about women washing their ass. Oh, that's very good. What's your commute like? It's very simple. It's always been important to me to have a short commute, so I moved very close to the building. So it's a walk. And the only thing that's different about my old commute at, at Cracked, I, I biked to work

there cause it was about three miles. And I just liked starting the day with that kind of physical activity. So by the time I got to work, I was feeling very good. You know, I just was sweaty and that's nice. Um, and no one complained because I was in charge. Um, now I, I realized that I still needed to do something to like, make sure I show up to work happy. I think I mentioned this on, on, on a previous podcast, but it was because of, uh, a former coworker of ours, Brennan Carter, who one day was just talking about, like, because I was like, you're always happy at work. You're always smiling and, like, not hungover. And, like, it's like, you never woke up on the wrong side of the bed. What's up? What's going on? He was like, oh, it's work. I put work into making sure I show up here good and positive. And that's something that

really stuck with me that uh i tried to do with the bike ride and now i try to do with various songs that are on like my various playlists one one of the playlists is you need me to pump you up one of them is songs that go just things that i can in this five minutes that i go from my apartment to the office is just like this is gonna it's gonna like make me, it's going to affect my gait a little bit. I'm going to do a little bit of strutting. I'm going to think about,

in some of the songs I'm thinking about like playing them in a band and what that would feel like. And it's just, it's all very much designed to make sure no one thinks I'm in a bad mood when I come into work because I think that's something that even if people aren't like, What songs are these? I'm not so self work because I think that's something that even if people aren't like...

What songs are these? I'm not so self-centered to think that people are making a daily list of like, Dan seemed cranky again today. But I think that kind of thing will build up. It's one of those things that's important to me. Don't show up to work angry. What puts a pep in your step? What are we talking about

here? The most cliche one that I didn't even realize how cliche it was, was 9 to 5 by Dolly Parker. Dolly Parton. Jesus Christ, Daniel. Dolly Parton. And I just picked it because I was like, this song fucking goes. And I love the driving beat of it.

I love the bass of it. And it never gets old to me. then I realized after like the tenth time I played it was like this is a song about going to work Daniel you what if what if one of your co-workers saw you smiling in the elevator listening to this song yeah they would immediately go to the boss and be like hey the the newish writer I think he's I mean he's a serial killer i heard him listening to nine to five on the work and like bopping his head so we got he's gotta go right that's that's a crazy yeah he thinks he's in a movie uh yeah i i realize now that sometimes i do

listen to playlists on spotify when i'm on my way to work and it's always the playlist that i make for my son to dance like when he gets home we move the coffee table out of the living room we we generally have some dance parties and i've put some music on there that i'm like yeah this is like exactly songs that go like this is fun this is a fun song and there's also no ego there either because he doesn't know if songs are uh played out or lame and so i've got songs on there that i would never have ordinarily listened to and that I really genuinely love now. There's like some Hall & Oates songs on there. Oh, Hall & Oates.

Outstanding. You Make My Dreams Come True is on. It's the best song. That's how you need me to pump you up. Oh, good. Okay, so you get it. Yeah. Okay.

Do you have any quick questions for me? Yeah. It's your turn. Okay. It's your turn to talk. That's the format of the podcast. Dan, quick question. Do you have a food that you make that you absolutely love, and you love making it, you love the prep, you love eating it, but you would be embarrassed or humiliated to feed to anyone else? Yes, I have two such foods. One I only made once,

and every detail of it is bad. It was, because I like, so the starting point is I like deviled eggs, but I was annoyed that you can only get deviled eggs as like you're at one of those bars that has gourmet deviled eggs, and so you get them as an app with some friends, or you have to wait till like fucking Christmas when someone brings a platter of deviled eggs is like you're at a you're at one of those bars that has gourmet deviled eggs and so you get them as an app with some friends or you have to wait till like fucking christmas when someone brings a platter of deviled eggs like they're never part of a normal thing and one

morning i was like i'm gonna make i'm gonna i'm gonna get a dozen eggs and i'm gonna make myself deviled eggs for breakfast because that's what i'm feeling right now. And the worst part of it was I don't really like all that, the yellow parts of the deviled eggs, and I don't really like the mayonnaise part of the deviled eggs. So I'm going to, like, what if I just do exactly the taste that I want right now? So I hard-boiled the eggs. I got rid of all the yellow parts and didn't even own mayonnaise at the time. And I just mixed chunky buffalo blue cheese and hot sauce and made that the filling.

And just ate like six of them alone in my apartment. And I was like, this is, it does taste like what I wanted. This is the taste combination that I was going for. That egg and blue cheese chunk with a little bit of kick to it but uh i can't tell anyone about that yeah i can't i can't show up to a party with like this is my original recipe yeah paint the picture for me are you eating this on like a tupperware lid like above my sink right over the sink yeah so you don't spill any in the rest of your your apartment Yeah. Because you're out of paper towels.

How are you going to clean it up? Of course. I'm out of paper towels. And the other one that I, the dish that I made, dish, Jesus, the thing that I made a lot in college and when I first moved to Los Angeles and had no money, I still stand by it. And I don't know how common it is, but but make pasta throw a bunch of beans in the pasta and some red sauce and then the vehicle for the pasta is tortilla like a pasta burrito it's very

difficult to eat you have to like like lean back on a couch and put on a like a shirt you use when you're painting or doing yard work because you're going to get spillage because you're eating this over your belly and uh that's part of it it's all part of it i'm having a hard time picturing this all right wait i mean outside of the smock are you so you have a meal that's beans some sort of noodle and tortilla what kind of noodle what uh like rigatoni penne and like you you mix some sauce in there because you want to get the sauce because you need it to be a little bit wet uh but you can't the trick is the balance because if it's too wet it's going to seep through the burrito and like spill way the hell over your belly and

then drip down to your thigh and nobody wants that so it's it's a tricky balancing act of getting it that that perfect mixture of wet and dry and And you never do it. It's impossible. The physics don't work out. You can't make pasta burritos. I'm staggered by the amount of carbohydrates in that. Do you put rice in it too? No. Okay, all right.

That's a crazy question, I guess. Yeah, rice seems healthy to me. I don't know if it is, but it seems it. All right, well, that actually makes me feel better about mine. Mine's not too far off from that. I make Mexican food, that actually makes me feel better about mine. Um, mine's not too far off from that. My, I make Mexican food and I'll make it for my family too, but I would never make it for another human being because, uh, I'm pretty sure that the meal that I'm making is just cultural appropriation. Uh, it's just me trying on different cultures and seeing which ones look the best on me and then taking those aspects.

So like if I'm making it, I'll use turkey, ground turkey, and I'll put soy sauce in it when I cook it because I like the taste of that. And then I use cheddar cheese on these. I don't like that like crumbly. I don't even know what it's called. That cheese that you get from a taco truck. Cojita cheese? Cojita. a taco truck. Cojita cheese? Cojita. Cojita, yeah.

Okay. And so I use cheddar cheese on it, melt that on. I use baked beans. And then no greens, no lettuce, no tomatoes, and occasionally avocado. But if I don't have avocado, I smash up some peas and I put that in it too. Because those are the same.

They're green. Yes, okay. They're green until they're not. Well, yes. I mean, I think you're in the clear here, because I don't think there's any one culture that can lay true claim to be offended by this. What I mean is that I'm just stealing from every...

I'm taking from the far east i'm taking right i'm technically calling this a burrito i'm pulling from texas like it's like this is you do you do a french accent while you're cooking it yeah i sing uh the first song from beauty and the beast while i'm doing it shouting bonjour at no one who's in my house uh i mean that sounds pretty good to me, to be honest. I don't like peas. No, I do like peas. That's rare.

It's only if I don't have the other ingredients that I'll put the peas in there. But like soy sauce and meat, I feel like you can put soy sauce in any meat and it makes it 10 times more delicious. Yeah, I do that a lot and I never knew if it was just because it was correct or if I just, I really like salt in things

and soy sauce is very salty. I don't know. Well, maybe that might be it too. Oh, and then when I, here's another thing is when I feed it to my son, he,

this is true of probably all toddlers, I think, but he, I'll put ketchup in it too so that he'll eat it. Oh yeah. That's the salsa. Yeah. Like I would put ketchup on anything as a child.

Is that super common for kids? Is that like a very... Like is ketchup just one of those things like McDonald's food where it's so over sugared that your body is trained to want it? It's the only way a parent can keep their kid from starving. Whatever you're eating, you can guarantee your kid will eat it as long as you drown it in ketchup. Wow. Huh. Well, a more responsible podcast would look into why that is.

Sounds like a lot of work. Yeah. If you want a podcast that does research, check out the Daily Zeitgeist. Oh, wait. Too late. You turned it off, bitch. Oh. Yeah, I know.

I don't feel good about that either. I apologize. Call our quest lovers bitches just yet. No, just that one turncoat who left Daily Zeitgeist to listen to us. Just him. Okay. What's one listener out of the ten that we have? I also think I'm going to lose a few more with this next quick question for you.

It's neither quick nor do I think it's correct for you to be the one who gets asked it. Because it is not a question that is in your lane. I'm just going to tell you a thing that happened, and I'm looking for you to confirm that I did the right thing. These get so uncomfortable, Dan. I know, I know.

And for listeners who don't know this, because this was not a part of our personalities on Cr cracked i think soren you can confirm that a lot of our relationship has involved me uh solo getting involved in scraps and then telling you about them yeah i mean like what what should i have done yeah that's fair we you and me driving in your car and you being like, so here's a thing that happened to me. So here's a person I maybe robbed at a dog park. Here's a prostitute I might have picked up in my car. Yeah, yeah. These kind of things where I'm like, I definitely did something wrong, but I'm still not the

villain. This is one of those stories. Okay. And I have so many caveats for it. One, internet, if I end up being very wrong about this, I understand if you need to tell me about it on Twitter. If it needs to take the form of yelling at me, I understand that too. It's an area where I'm trying to learn and I'm doing my best.

Another caveat, I think I'm going to come out okay on this because there's a worse villain and also because I'm the one telling the story. Like if someone else told this story, they wouldn't include all the side bits about what a nice guy I am. Yeah, they could shade it however they want. Yeah, yeah. I think it's important to paint a proper picture. So it's a Monday last week. Monday's my day off, so I was doing what I do. I went to Capital Fishing Tackle, the bait and fishing supply store, to chew the fat about what's biting in Brooklyn with the other old salts.

What's biting in Brooklyn? You got a bunch of salty old sailors from Red Hook Who are like You should have seen the fish I caught And then a bigger fish came and ate it Yeah Yeah just What's real good in the channel right now

And I finished that And I was feeling good And it's like the middle of the day It's Monday it's a beautiful sunny day in New York And I'm walking around And I want to keep my good vibes going So i decided to stop in a bar called rudy's and i don't know if you know rudy's it's a hell's kitchen institution it's amazing it's a a piece of shit dive bar uh on the corner of ninth and something and the beers are three dollars and the it's cash

only and there are free hot dogs all day. So you get really cheap beers, and you drink hot dogs, and someone's almost always asleep somewhere, and there's usually vomit in one of the toilets if you're lucky. And I appreciate it. And I was like, I'm having a nice Monday day. I'm going to sit down at this bar. I'm going to do my crossword on my phone.

I'm going to get a beer that tastes like cigarettes, but it's $3, so who cares? And I'm going to get two hot dogs that taste like hot dogs are supposed to taste, and I'm going to live my life and feel great about it. And so I'm doing that. And the next detail about this is I'm wearing my pride hat because it's June. It's pride month. And I'm a supporter of this movement. What does that look like? I'm picturing a beanie that has a little helicopter on the top and is rainbow colored. It's a trucker hat that is black on the front, the bill side,

and it says Pride on it. And then the back, the mesh side, is rainbow. Okay. So I'm wearing that. And an older gentleman, probably in his 40s sits down next to me and he says hey i like your hat i was like oh thank you and then i go and i ate my hot dogs i do my crossword puzzle and uh some time passes and he says hey by the way i really like your hat i really appreciate it and i i And I do some mental calculation here,

where, oh no, he says, I really appreciate your hat. I've been coming out for years, and it's very difficult for me. And it occurs to me that he might think that I'm gay, because I'm wearing a pride hat, and that's a reasonable assumption to make. And the calculation that I do is that I'm not going to lie to this person and say anything that is like, yes, when I met my boyfriend, blah, blah, blah. Or when I came out, blah, blah, blah. But I didn't think it was particularly important to say, by the way, I'm straight. I'm just wearing this hat because I'm an ally. It didn't seem crucial to me at the time because this was an older man who was drinking pitchers of beer

and seemed like he was going through something. And I thought what this man needs right now is someone who seems to be a comfortably out person. And I thought, I don't want to take that away from him. But again, not going to lie, never going to say a lie. And if he says, by the way, what was it like when you came out? Then I would absolutely say, oh, there's some confusion. I'm not gay. I'm sorry. I understand what you think that, but I'm not. But so I'm, without like doing any kind of like different affectation, I'm mentally a youthful, proud gay person at this

point. And he's very upset. He's talking about how hard it is and how he feels like he's been coming out for a very long time and how he doesn't feel like people accept it. And I'm trying to be very helpful to him. Like they do, they will, they absolutely will. And, uh, the ones who don't will either come around or they'll be wrong. And, and you just have to know that if they don't accept you, then, then they made the wrong choice and that's on them and that's not on you. And he was saying, uh, it's been, it's just been really tough because I, I can't talk to my kids. I used to, I, I, I had kids for years that I, and now I can't because of this gay. I used to have, I had kids for years and now I can't

because of this gay thing. I'm like, oh, they'll come around. They're the youth. They'll come around. Wait, he's got kids? Yeah. Okay.

The previous marriage that ended. And they don't want to talk to him because he's gay? He says that, that's what he says. And then he, That's not the way

it's supposed to go. It's the other way around. I know. And he, wish you were there, Soren. Did you tell him that? In all the shows, it's the other way, sir. Yeah.

And I was like, no, no, no. They'll come around. And again, if they don't, you're wrong. Or they're wrong. And then he started to say, I just don't know. I don't even know where I'm going to sleep tonight, where I'm going to stay tonight. And I was like, oh, what? Home, I would say.

I can't go home. My family's rejected me. And I was like, your parents? No, they rejected me too. Okay. Okay. Well, where, okay, so where do you work? I was like's like i work on a farm i'm a dairy farmer and i'm like ah fisherman and and and nice to meet you people here he's like but i can't even i can't

even work i can't even work anymore i can't go to work tomorrow i I was like, why? Like, I got fired today for being gay. It's like, oh. I mean, they can't do that. Legally, they can't fire you for being gay. You should talk to the law. No, they won't. They won't listen. They won't listen at all. I was like, okay, well,

if you need somewhere to stay, there are there's the LGBT, no, absolutely not. There's like the LGBTQ center in Manhattan. I could tell you where it is and they will welcome you. He's like, yeah, I can't go there. I was like, okay, well I know a church it's called Jeffords. They're very accepting. He's like, I can't go to church. Can't go to church ever again. Like why? Cause I got kicked out of my church today. Today?

This is a bad day. I was like, I went to the church and the priest saw me and he said, you can't be here anymore. You're not welcome here because you're gay. I was like, okay. So you went to the church at 8.30 in the morning today

on a Monday? He's like, yeah. I went this morning on a Monday and the priest kicked me out. Who told your priest? I don't know. I'll never know. Okay, so then you left the church. And you went to work.

And your boss said you can't come back. After you excommunicated, you went to work. You went to work at the dairy farm. And your boss was like, you can't be here because you're gay anymore. Because you're gay now. It's affecting the cows. Yeah. And then he started talking about, this gets dark, but I think it ends up being fine.

He started talking loosely about suicide. And then I had to put suspicions away because that's what you do. It's like, sir, I know you're going through something, but don't do this. There are plenty of options. Again, Jeffords Church, you should check it out. The world is worse without you.

The world is more interesting with you. You need to be here. You're important to this movement. And there are always options. And a thousand reasons not to be here. You're important to this movement. And there are always options. And a thousand reasons not to do this. He was like, no, no, gotta. I was like, no, no, you don't gotta. He's like, it's just so hard.

I was like, well, to be honest with you, it's pretty easy in Hell's Kitchen. And like, this isn't for me to say, but like, there are a thousand reasons that life is hard anywhere in the world that you live, and there's more every day, but on the specific literal subject of being gay in a place, you can do worse

than Hell's Kitchen, Manhattan, New York. And he was like, I can't be out in a place like this, in a place like Rudy's. I was like, I don't know, I'm place like this, in a place like Rudy's. I was like, I don't know. I'm allegedly out right now. As far as you know.

No one seems to be bothering me too much. And then I started asking about his family because it seems strange that he got kicked out of his church and his farm and his house on the same day because he mentioned being divorced i was like when was the last time he talked to your son like seven months ago it's like what where have you been for seven months just around just bouncing around like what why did you get divorced because i'm gay gay. Okay. Why are you not, and now I'm not allowed to talk to my son. Why aren't you allowed to talk to him? Because I'm gay.

That's not allowed either. It's like, well, I'm not allowed to talk to him. The court says I'm not allowed to talk to him because of my drinking, because I drink too much, and it's a problem. But I drink because I'm gay. And now I'm just like,

oh no. This is like, maybe a dangerous person, maybe a liar person. And I'm pretty deep in it now. And I'm trying to balance like keeping in the back of my head that this man might be suicidal, which I didn't really believe, but you're not allowed to not believe that. So I'm still pushing that angle, but also making sure I'm maintaining some kind of distance at this point. And I'm saying to him, like very specifically, sir, I know, I believe that you're going through something right now. I truly believe that you're going through something difficult. Your timeline of getting kicked out of your church and your farm and your family today,

even though you haven't seen your family for seven months, seems suspect. You have to admit that there's something strange about that. And he doesn't have to admit, so he didn't. And I was like, okay. Well, I think I have to go now. Because at this point, he's just being sad. Also, at some point, he took out a roll of $100 bills from his pocket to buy more beer. And I was like, well,

stay at a hotel. You can stay at a nice hotel with that money. He's like, no, I'm just not going to do it. I went to every hotel in Manhattan. They said they wouldn't take me today because I'm gay. Guy at the Waldorf

was like, no, too gay. And at this point I want to leave and like now like two like late 20s women have showed up

and they're very nearest to the bar and like they're overhearing us. And I was like, well, I don't want to involve any more people in whatever this is going to be

because it's like soft lying on my part and probably a lot of lying on this weird drunk's part. So I was just like, all right, I'm going to go and just said like final like, please don't do anything drastic or silly. I believe this is hard. I'm certain it gets better. You're doing great. You are important. You are loved.

You are valued. If you do anything crazy, we will all know about it in the morning. We'll all find out because the world will be a lonelier and worse place. So don't, and take care of yourself and, and have a good day. And then I,

I, I left and resisted the urge to be like, I'm going to go suck some dick, I guess. Right. And I don't know. Whatever I'm supposed to, whatever my, whatever arc I right? I don't know. Whatever I'm supposed to, whatever my,

whatever arc I'm at at that point. And then I leave. And that's everything that happens, Soren. Wow. I, like, first of all, Dan, I'm proud of you. Like, not for the chivalry, that was ingrained in you. Like, you telling him

the right things about, with suicide, and like, how the world would be worse and all of that. That's, that's just par for the course for Daniel. What I'm proud of you about is that old Daniel would have, as soon as the guy suggested two places, he couldn't go. Dan would have said,

come to my place. I'll make you nachos. And like deviled eggs and blue cheese, which is what that guy was vying for, clearly. That's what I'm trying to figure out. Was his agenda to go home with me? Which it didn't seem like it was. The only part of it that seemed like it was,

I want to go home with you was, I don't know where I'm going to sleep tonight. But the rest of it was him just being a sad sack. Yeah, I think honestly, because that's... Go ahead. Anytime I tried to get him to like well let's talk about something else why don't you tell me about this other part of your life he would immediately turn it to something sad and then it's just like well even if you were trying to to hit on me this wouldn't work nobody wants a sad sack yes maybe i think i think that

it's just not the approach you would take but surely there are people out there that it's the same people who are in relationships and they're like well see the thing is is if you leave me i'm gonna kill myself like these people who are gonna guilt you into loving them or guilt you into at least sleeping with them and i think that that's way more common than maybe you're taking into consideration regardless of your sexual orientation sure i think that this guy was like what what is somebody like a broken man ah yeah i could be that and i'm gonna win this man oh this this young young man in a i'm assuming probably a sleeveless shirt is that oh yeah absolutely he walked into rudy's and he was

like look at this scruffy twink i'm gonna parlay this into a night are those is that Invisalign on his teeth this is gonna be my night uh and uh and so he was just and then he just at that point he maybe he was just doubling down in the same way where you were we're like you were both caught in the situation where you're lying to each other and and you can't come clean So you're just like, well, I guess this story has got to go on a dark bus down a dark road because I've already started in that direction and I can't turn it around. And did those women at the bar ever talk to you? No, they were just like clearly invested. And especially when I was talking to him at the end, they like had stopped any pretense of having their own conversation and were just invested in looking at what we were talking about and again not wanting to involve them in

like i didn't want because i i knew i was eventually going to leave and i didn't want them to get roped into whatever this guy's agenda was going to be so and i knew i was part of the attention at that point yeah so you're part of the show yeah you're on the stage and also like i'm saying a bunch of sweet things and women are paying attention but i can't i can't capitalize on that because because soren you'll remember at this point i'm gay as hell so i just i just i gotta go i have to leave right it would have been a real tipping point for that guy if he walked over to the bar and then and started talking to one of the women and then left with her. So, I mean, honestly, I think you handled it right.

This is a this person is a hard person to have in your life for that short. Like, I don't know there's much more you can do for him or that you owe him other than that. If he is honest and like all that stuff really happened to him, that's very sad. You still did everything you could, you should do for that guy. There's a version of this story where as soon as he says, nice hat, I'm proud of you or whatever he said. I sense the vibe and immediately say, oh, thanks. Yes, I'm an ally. I got it for the pride parade a few years ago to support my friends.

I bought it at a Target. Don't get any wrong ideas. I don't want to stand here and take the credit of being a proud out gay person when none of those realities actually affect me. There's a version of life where I could have said that. And that feels like a more right path versus silently, passive-aggressively leaning into this lie and just making a bunch of rules in my head about why it was okay. No, I think you did the right thing. Cause the other, in that other option, you're also making a pretty big mistake, which is if you are an ally, it's not, it doesn't matter if you're gay or heterosexual, like the people who immediately have to announce,

no, no, no, I'm just an ally is like, they're still distancing themselves from homosexuality in a way that's like, you don't have to do that. We're all just people. Like you don't, you don't have to say, no, no, no, I'm not one of them, but I support those poor little people. Like it's demeaning to them in that respect too. So I like, honestly, I think you played this right, which is it's rare for you, Dan. Uh, I, the only time I've been in a situation like that, there was a guy on the 4th of July, I was like riding my bike back to my house after being somebody else's and encountered this really, really drunk man trying to get home, stumbling around and then realized that the whole back of his shirt was covered in blood and the back of his head was covered in blood. And he had fallen at some point and sat down and talked to him on the curb until paramedics could get there. down and talked to him on the curb until paramedics could get there and he was talking to me about how he didn't want to live and he didn't want to be there anymore and trying to find the right words

for those type of people while also thinking i don't know like somebody has to be invested in you somebody is is it going to be me am i going to have to be the person who's invested in the objectively in every other respect i don't like you uh everything else that i know about you i dislike and i don't want to have to be the only person in your life who's your support. Right. I understand that. And if somebody walked up who was limping and also

bleeding from somewhere, and was like, hey, Terry, you'd be like, oh good, your friend is here. Bye! Right. Yes, exactly. No, man, if your question is, did I i do that right i think the answer is yes yeah i think i'm very open to um lgbtq people on twitter or anywhere else on the internet to explain to me why it's wrong that i get to in any way come off like I'm speaking for this group that I

haven't really suffered with. That it's a hat that I can literally take off. Oh boy. Oh wow, I didn't think about that. This is a good narrative you just painted. So I'm prepared to, very prepared to be wrong about this and have it explained to me. My gut tells me that it's wrong. My gut also

tells me this guy's a crazy weird liar who's sad and like i'm i mean i'm getting three dollar beers at rudy's on at two o'clock on a monday but he's getting pictures of beer at rudy's on two o'clock on monday so there's also a drinking thing there that is is is probably sad and problematic and uh that's again one of the only reasons that i i feel like i'm okay in this and that he's i'm assuming a worse villain yeah and i'm trying to come at it from every angle that i within my like limited scope of how the world works whether right and here's what i did i i asked my straight friend did i I do this right? And he's like, yup, sure did.

Yeah, listen, also, anyone who is a member of the LGBTQ community who doesn't want to take the time to explain it and just wants to be mad about this, that's fine too. You can tell us as well. It's just fuck off. It's not your job.

It is not your job to patiently walk me through why I'm wrong about this. You can just call me whatever you want absolutely anything fake ally anything at all and you don't even need to tell me that it's your right to do that god this is a process I think that's a great story though

I mean the hat thing I didn't even consider the metaphor of the hat until the very end Dan this is uh that's like a real whole movie you just laid out for me if all the stuff he said was true he's a very interesting fella he was a cop for 22 years and then retired and and became a dairy farmer which is all he wanted to do all his life. Goes to church on a Monday morning. Right before work.

Right before work at the dairy farm. Sounds pretty fascinating to me. Anyway, do we have time for another question? No, I don't think so. I think that's maybe got to be... Bacon, how are we doing on time? No, we're well over time. All right.

Okay. Dan, it was worth it. No, I just got to wrap this up real quick. Forgive me. I need to track down all the social accounts. But while I'm doing that, Soren, you reminded me, which was the one state in America you said you'd be fine with wiping off the face of the earth and all the people in it if it meant your property taxes would go down slightly? Would you remind me which state that was and why? Yeah, I mean, I'm happy to. You get me started on this topic and I can just go.

Yeah, happily. The state of Maine, I really just, it's up there on the tip. I mean, it's meant to break off anyway. We can't be rough with our country and not expect Maine to break off eventually. So what I'm saying is, do the deed now, get rid of it, have a more unified, solid country

below it, and get rid of all those those galoshes wearing hard-to-understand braided-sweatered, clam-chowder-eating lunatics up there. Cool. Very neat. You can find Soren on Twitter at Soren underscore LTD.

You can find me on the same platform at DOB underscore INC. You can find our business CFO, Bacon Daddy, Bacon, at Make Me Bacon Please. That's Make Me Bacon PLS. You can email this podcast. This is my is my favorite part dan i have a quick update nobody has emailed us no good they shouldn't no one's checking the email it's fine you know what i bet they have it's just they've all gone to wrong addresses we lost the password we don't have it so you can email us at quickie quest at certainlyledan.gmail. You can follow

this podcast on Twitter at qq underscore soren and dan, all one word. You can follow it on Instagram at qq underscore with underscore soren underscore and underscore daniel. All 13 words. You can find and hire Vincent, our engineer,

podcast producer, and editor at siliconbeachPodcast.com. He's fantastic and great. And you should rate the podcast and like it. I think I'm supposed to tell you to subscribe. I'm not going to do that. I think it's more effective just like tell your friends to listen to the podcast. Like that's more useful to me.

I know that's not a metric that can be tracked, but you know, we're not in this for metrics. We're in this for fun guys. Don't subscribe. Tell your buddy. Yeah. We've also got to follow up.

Don't even follow up to find out if they listen. Just say, Hey, quick question. Well, we're going to try and turn this into some somewhat of a lucrative career as well. We're going to start a Patreon here really shortly that will be up and

running that people can donate to as well. We're going to start a Patreon here really shortly that will be up and running that people can donate to as well. Cool. You didn't believe that. Alright. Do we have anything else to say? No. Good. you