Quick Question with Soren and Daniel - QQ ep 78 - Headshots and Heartshots feat. Katy Stoll

Episode Date: February 26, 2021

In this episode the guys catch up with old Cracked compadre Katy Stoll! They talk about the indignities thrown upon young actors, and then really end the episode with a bang.  As always big thanks to our sponsors.  Big thanks to Honey, shop with confidence — get Honey for FREE at JoinHoney.com/qq.  And thanks to FEALS.  Become a member today by going to Feals.com/qq and get 50% off your first order with free shipping. 

Hello again and welcome to another episode of Quick Question with Soren and Daniel, the podcast where two best friends and comedy writers give out so many A's you'd think I was my physics teacher in high school who was completely checked out. I am one half of the show, writer, author, a rad kid from Hazlitt, a flirty New Jerseyan, and the heavenly dude from the 732, Daniel O'Brien, joined as always by my co-host Soren Bui. Soren, say hello. Hold on. I need to appreciate yeah that intro i think it was really really good okay thank you and uh we rarely get to yours because we so frequently concentrate on

mine because it was last uh-huh a heavenly dude from the 732 yeah 732 is is my hometown area code oh i love that thanks man um are you sure you're okay giving away that prefix? Yeah, I don't live there anymore. Okay. All right, well, hello, everybody. I'm Sorin Bui. I also said, sorry to go back to me, but I also said rad kid from Hazlet. So 732, some sleuths out there could pin that down

to like a region of New Jersey, but our sharper listeners could probably just say oh hazlitt that town yeah right all right but go ahead hello everybody i'm soren buoy and i know i get it it's pronounced kind of screwy look i wouldn't correct you if you said bowie or bowie it's just something i live with like teo leone i grew up near aspen for all my zg heads back when durango to loveland i'll use the same prefix now I write for the TV and may you can see me in the opening credits of American DAD featuring Chicago Bulls number 33

yes the same one from the infamous dynasty and yes every day I say I think gee how lucky can one boy be from the 303 you know what you are? you're a son of a bitch this is humiliating i'm so unhappy i uh sandbagged you you sandbagged me oh yeah okay thanks to feels for supporting our show

feels can have you feeling your best every day become a member today by going to feels.com slash qq and you'll get 50% automatically taken off your first order with free shipping. Thanks to our new brand, Honey. These days, it feels like online shopping is the only shopping we really do. That's where Honey comes in. It's the free browser extension that scours the internet for promo codes and automatically applies the best one available at checkout. Go to joinhoney.com slash QQ. Well, we're gonna get into this stupid show that I hate. We actually have a guest again,

but before we do that, Soren, I have a story. Yes. I got something for you before we get into our incredible guest. I went for a run. You and I have both been trying to run more recently. I've been trying to do about 15 to 20 miles a week

and I was out running on the boardwalk and a cute woman passed me, but then didn't like zoom on or anything we just kept pace together with her a few feet in front of me but us at like the same speed like if you were a stranger you'd think oh those two are running the boardwalk together at sunset goals that's what you'd think because that's because i i too thought goals um and then i fucking smoked her yeah and i'm not even trying to like big time or anything there was definitely a voice in my head that was like see where this goes run for a while maybe you can strike up a conversation after uh and then a louder voice in my head was like if you got time to flirt you got time to hurt and i and i i turned on the jets and just fucking cooked her

goddamn ass man i love that i think that that's the right impulse is it circumstance so like how long were you kind of like treading water together yeah i mean well well just for probably a minute and a half and it's it's nobody's fault that she happened to join me at the part of my run that was like the end of my warmup mile. Ah, okay. So you had to turn on the gas. Yeah. I wasn't trying to, to, to leave her in my dust or anything like that. It just so happened that, uh, circumstances forced my hand that way.

Oh, so I would have, the minute I'm, if I'm running and somebody else happens to be there next to me immediately, it's a's a competition i don't there is no acknowledgement of maybe i could be friends with this person or anything like that it's like mother fucker going the same speed as me who does this person think they are and then i will just run as fast as i can if i'm passed it's humiliating yes i uh i went i was also on a run today and i was passed by someone and because the ego is the way that it is I thought, well yeah the wind is more in your favor back there like pointing to behind me, a place where I just come from like just trying to justify why this person was faster than me

that asshole was drafting but let's introduce our guest to see if she has any thoughts to justify why this person was faster than me. The asshole was drafting. Yeah. But let's introduce our guest to see if she has any thoughts. If you're a fan of this show, you know this person already. She is a writer, producer, performer, podcaster, great friend. Ladies and gentlemen, Katie Stolhaus Stoll. Hi. Hi, guys. Hello. ladies and gentlemen katie stolehouse stole hi hi guys hello it's always so fun uh sitting silently at the start of a podcast and just like biting your tongue and trying not to giggle into

the microphone but now i've been let on my cage yeah you never really know you never know what the etiquette is you don't know if you're allowed to do the chuckle at the beginning or not i just i can't help it i just have to turn away. And we threw so much at you, too. There was a lot to either, in the beginning, when we're navel-gazing and just Walt Whitman-style writing poems about ourselves and how great the sun feels on our nutsacks or whatever he wrote about. And you just have to just sit there and let us.

And just let you. But it's your time to shine. Soren, did you end yours by also calling out your zip code yeah okay so you put him on blast and then did the same thing cool yep yeah um yeah dan had mentioned beforehand text me like just just so you know like i don't know if you want to prepare an intro this time because i'm gonna be doing a little rhyme with my prefix and i was like all right. Well, then let's really do it. Yeah.

Dan, I also had a thought about your little story. Not little. I don't mean to disparage it. Nice story. Story. Oh, God. That's worse. I was recently on a walk with my boyfriend.

And we came up behind keeping pace with a woman. And he was like, you know what? Hold on. Hold me back. Let's just let her get ahead a little ways. And I was like, no, okay. It's fine. I don't, you know.

He said that for a long time, he's been hyper aware of every time he is behind a woman wanting to really give her their space. And it's something that I appreciate. I think that's really thoughtful. But it never occurred to me that that's a thing that a man might have to think about. But of course it does, you know, especially in our society and culture and all these conversations that we've been having that, yeah, it's intimidating sometimes. Not that you weren't. Well, you were, Dan. You left her in your dust. Yeah, absolutely. Like, you're welcome. Even if she was, if she wasn't scared of me before, then certainly she is now. You left her in your dust. Yeah, absolutely. She should have been intimidated.

Even if she wasn't scared of me before, then certainly she is now. Yeah. But that is a thought. Rarely when I'm running, because that's just a different circumstance. But certainly as I'm walking, I've become very aware of that, which was a real shift for me. Because I don't cut an imposing figure uh in a lineup i don't think but just by virtue of the fact of of being a guy in the present that adds a certain level of terror uh regardless of what i know about myself and like like i can't if i think someone in front of me is uneasy i can can't be like, no, ask my friends.

You can steal from me if you want. It would make it worse, much worse. I'm non-threatening, just in case you didn't know. I don't think she heard me. I'm going to get closer. Hey! Tap on her shoulder, make her take her earbuds out. What you listening to?

Anyway, I want you to know I will not hurt you. I will not be a bother. In fact, I could protect you if anything. Look, I will follow you home to make sure that

none of the bad guys do get you. We're going to get into our show where we ask each other questions and we give each other answers. We wanted to check in

with you first though, Katie. This is something that we've talked about before. Do you have any COVID habits that you've acquired over the last year that you hope to carry forward when all this nonsense is over? I was thinking about this, and I have a range of answers that are serious and dumb. Hell yeah. Oh, this is perfect. How personal should I get here?

I'll do a middling one, which is I am a very positive person, I think, inherently positive. I'm also a very anxious person. And historically in my life, I have soothed myself with my positivity. The thing that I'm worrying about, it'll be okay. This year has done serious damage to that. And I'm like, I laugh about it, but I had this like very serious epiphany the other day of like, I hope I can work through some of this because it's not just on a global scale of like, oh, the pandemic won't be that bad. Oh, wait, it is. It's everything that you could possibly fear out of a pandemic. In the last year, it was like, all right, my dog

got sick and dogs throw up. And there's days where you're like, okay, it's not a big deal. He's going to let this out of the system. Oh, no, no, he was hospitalized. It was bad. My car, someone hit my car and I'm like okay this isn't so bad i'll get this back in a few weeks no it was totaled and then it took four or five months to sort out you know like thing after thing just started becoming like oh well and i think that's good i think it's good to have some realism this is kind of depressing share but i just i think that that's something that might stick around like i'm i'm a little bit more cautious i hope to still keep i still am an optimistic person but i have this voice in me that's like well no the worst case scenario could

possibly be true so make sure you you dot all your i's and cross the t's here you know yeah whatever you think the worst case scenario is there are far worse things that could happen you haven't even thought of yet yeah and you do it all with a pandemic as well you never even knew this was possible yeah so i've learned a lot about life's possibilities uh i've also taken up mug cakes now a lot of people started baking for real and a lot of people started learning how to perfect their banana bread recipe i have gotten very good at mixing up a little chocolate cake or some other kind of cake and microwaving it for 45 seconds and enjoying it because it's good enough and it's less of a cleanup love this new habit is that you said mug cake mug cakesug cakes, yeah. Have you heard of this, dear? Like, okay, you take like three tablespoons of your flour, some baking powder, some oil. There are egg recipes with it or eggless if you want.

You can use cacao. Cacao? Yeah. Yeah. Cocoa powder. What's the proper way to pronounce it? I don't know. Cocoa powder.

Anyway, for example, you mix it all up, put it in the microwave in your mug, you hit 45 seconds, and you've got a little cake. And I'm sorry, it's wonderful. That sounds like a real treat. So there are two answers for you. I like it. Soren's thinking about it. I'm curious.

So I've seen the mug cake. I've seen it before. I've never tried it. And I'm very curious. Is it very, is it really chewy? It depends. You can mix,

mess up this, this mixture for sure. But I've had some good recipes. Look, I'm not saying that this is a fancy cake that I'm proud of. Right.

But it serves my purposes. It sounds. No, I totally get the indulgence of it. Yeah. And I just, I've tried. I tried to take a baking like everybody else did, and I failed. I was bad at it. Well, baking sucks.

Baking sucks. I mean, I love the end result. So this is a little shortcut and a way to treat myself in a pinch. That sounds like exactly what I want most most nights because i can't just make myself a birthday cake even if i was even if i was like successfully good at baking i can't just like the the visual of me home alone in my mid-30s making a birthday cake even if i'm like mentally justifying it was like well it can be a nighttime treat or breakfast. It's still too sad for me to cotton.

But the idea that I could have like a one hitter of cake, that's up my alley. That's the ticket. I mean, I really highly recommend it. We ordered from Costco recently and it came. I wasn't privy to the order before it came. And I opened the door and there's a 40 pack of drumsticks, ice cream drumsticks. Oh. Enough to start my own ice cream truck.

Do you have multiple refrigerators, freezers? No. Where do you keep 40 of them? Good question, Katie. I had to take all my ice packs, anything that didn't have to be in the freezer, I had to take out so that we could fit all these drumsticks in there. And did you not have any other frozen items that you have to store? I do.

And it was a game of Tetris. It was tough to get it all in. And I was so mad in the moment because I was like, why do we need so much ice cream? And my wife was like, I don't know. I just wanted it. And then I felt bad. I was like, yeah, I get it.

I can't wait. Like we should just have some ice cream every once in a while. It'd be great. Or for 40 days straight. Yeah. Every single day. It's like that Ted Cruz story or Heidi Cruz. When they were first married, they got back from their honeymoon

and Ted immediately went to the store by himself and came back with 100 cans of Campbell's chunky soup a hundred cans of it a hundred and they had is too much of anything of anything what a lunatic wait at least your wife only got 40 yeah i don't know i don't know and it's also your wife didn't spring that on you on your like when you get back from your honeymoon as you're about to start your life together. Right. She didn't reveal, like,

by the way, I've been weird this whole time. I hoard soup. Right. Now, COVID has made our relationship reveal some unique and surprising things about each of us. We're like, I'll come to her and I'll be like, oh, by the way, I ordered a jumping castle. She's like, oh, all right.

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and get 50% automatically taken off of your first order with free shipping. Feels.com slash QQ. Soren, do you have any quick questions for Katie or do you want me to ask my quick question? I do, yeah, actually. Katie, Katie, do you still have headshots? I don't have any recent ones, but I do still have some headshots.

Yeah, I'm fascinated by headshots because I also at one point was like, I'm going to be an actor and that's one point was like I'm gonna be an actor and that's gonna be my life and was very serious about it got my headshots would get them updated like every two years

and there's like or there's a real process to getting headshots and like which ones you choose and I just I need to know like you probably have three or four right or that you use or you that yeah i i assume

that i do still i haven't looked at them in a while but yeah i do you you pick out a few from each shoot and then your agent picks one or two that they like and you have to print them up and everything and one for you one for them now i'm i'm curious like what was the story of yours like what were you hoping that they conveyed your headshot? Because I can tell you with mine, I had like a bad boy one. I wore a jacket with the collar flipped. It was a little bit darker, moodier lighting. My hair was doing a new thing.

And I was looking tough. My eyes said, wrong side of the tracks, boy. I think I've seen this headshot of yours he does he hands it out to everyone when he needs them yes it's a birthday present i like to give people signed headshots of myself and uh then i also had one that was a uh just like hey i do jokes i'm a fun guy uh where you're just like laughing like i don't take myself too seriously and then you have one that's in the middle that's like you're i'm the quintessential white male lead and those are like those are the hardest ones to nail down because you have to get your clothing cannot draw the eye at all it has to be the most innocuous clothing possible you can't Fuck a smile. And that you have to have something in your eyes that conveys like pathos,

but also like maybe a little bit of danger. And it's not an easy look. A really fine line to dance. Yeah. I think the pressures on a female headshot are a little different. I can't imagine. I never did costume ones. So that's a whole other thing,

especially for actors that want to work in commercials. There's, or at least there used to be a lot of pressure of like, throw on a lab coat for one of yours. Like, let's get your,

your cowboy buckle on for another one. And you try all these different things and you try all these different things and you just feel like, oh. And they used to do those like cop cards or whatever they're called where you had like, here's me baking, here's me this.

But for me, it was always just trying to be the quirky, you know, manic pixie dream girl kind of vibe. And not always, but I think that the majority of mine, at least in my 20s, that was, you know, and that's what sucks is like for the conversation is what's the most marketable way to present yourself? And then you're just fitting yourself into some idea of what people want instead of trying to be authentic. Yeah. And the truth is, is that when i'm authentic in photos they're really bad they just are i'm awkward i don't know how i wish i just tried to chat i i wanted to send you a picture of my first headshot which is so embarrassing but i

can't figure out yeah i'll email it to you guys did you think that's what was stopping her soren i wanted to send this just email it oh my god thank you you're absolutely right i i have one of those uh images are still being uploaded all right it'll take a second but look so old. I look so old and I don't know what I was thinking. I guess my face doesn't look that old, but I'm dressed like a middle-aged woman. And that was a real problem for the first start of my career is that I always, people always, I dressed like my mom. I, I, she helped me pick out clothes a lot. Like, yes, you look great with this scarf draped around your neck. You should have that email soon. It just, it was always a really stressful part of being an actor.

It was awful. Also, you have to choose a font for your name on the front. You have to choose a font. And did you, do you remember what font you used for yours? So this one is, I believe, just a classic Times. I didn't want to be anything too showy. one is i believe just a classic times i didn't want to be anything too showy i i do remember wanting it to be not too bold looking i don't know why don't want to take up that space i never would do some people choose all caps i didn't want to do that yeah you know okay i got it okay uh so

i this is like the most humiliating thing about mine, I think. Oh, yeah. There it is. Okay. This is a very innocuous font. It's nice. And you are a 30-year-old divorcee. A 21-years-old and a 30-year-old body. Yep. It's bad. It's on my fridge now.

I would cast you in like Caroline in the City in a heartbeat. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I believe I got that before. I did get work though. Absolutely. Here's the thing that I'm curious about both of you. And it's also probably the main reason that I never became a successful famous actor. probably the main reason that I never became a successful famous actor.

Do you, when you're going over your headshots, you have to, are you thinking about like sexiness? Like, do I look hot in these pictures? Because that's just- I can find some of those for you too. Right, that's the thing that like- They're very embarrassing. It seems, A, it seems embarrassing to like pose sexy and B, the idea of,

cause I know I've had friends that get headshots and then we'll like present them to other friends to be like, which one do you like? So the act of like presenting what you think is your sexy face to someone else for many of us is a very humbling ordeal. And the closest I have to experience with that, because I never had professional headshots,

was in the early days of Cracked, this website that used to exist, I would put pictures of myself. I would work them into articles all the time, just get myself out there. And I would do tiny photo shoots with my digital camera to Photoshop myself into different scenarios. myself out there and i would do like tiny photo shoots with my digital camera to photoshop myself into different scenarios and there was one where i was i was doing a mock-up of a fake cookbook and i had a couple of different versions of myself as the chef in it and i i sent two different ones

to uh my boss a very nice man jack o'brien, friend of the show, I assume. And like, he had no reason to think anything other than like, which do you think of these, which of these do you think is funnier? Because we worked at a comedy website and I was a comedy writer, but I handed him two pictures and he was like, yeah, this one on the left, this one, with you like microwaving a lobster

in the kitchen. And I was like, okay. And he could tell that I was like, that there was something holding it back. And he looked at the other one. He was like, why, what do you think you look hot in this one? I like, like, yes, I did. But, but I never would again. That's really funny.

Yeah. You, you're trying to convey a certain sexual, sexual nature in each one of them, I think. Even like comedy one. Like, you're not going to go full, I don't give a shit. No. You're going to be like, look how effortlessly I am beautiful. You can be funny and look good. Yeah.

It can be both. So I'm told. Katie, I use papyrus font. Papyrus. You know, I believe I use papyrus on some of them and it's i mean at the time i was like this font rules and now i look back on it i'm like this is the this is like this is the most offensive font this is worse than comic sans now i forgot you are really into fonts aren't you i am yeah i forgot that about you i remember you

downloading fonts or something yeah i had uh there was a noir one that i'd been looking for for a long time i finally found it i got very excited and told everyone um i uh yeah the fonts were always like a stressful part for me, but I didn't think too much. I didn't want to overthink it. I don't love... I'm looking at your headshot now. Your font is great. Very professional. Old headshot.

Old headshot. Sure. You look great. I don't love the font that your agency chose. Oh, yeah. The Daniel Hopp agency. Now, that's kind of Comic Sans-y, isn't it? I think it's Tahoma, which is like a cousin of Comic Sans.

Yeah, it's not good. Yeah, it's not great at all. Especially yours is so classic and professional. And then over here it's like, and we got some wacky guys too. Yeah. But thank you, Daniel Hoff, for being my first agency in this town. Got me my SAG card. Hey. for being my first agency in this town. Got me my SAG card. There's also, Dan, you may not know this,

but for headshots for a long time, and maybe this is like predates Katie even, headshots had to be eight by 10. So when you put your resume on the back, obviously a sheet of paper ordinarily is bigger than that. It's eight and a half by 11. And so if you didn't have like a big thing at home where you could like cut them all down, you would just do it with scissors every single time for

every single headshot. You would sit there for a very long time, staple them on the back and then just cut off the edges. Spending hours just like getting a headshot ready. I can't tell you how many times I accidentally sliced the headshot or, you know, then you're out of staples. So I'm like, oh, well, tape work. It's just like the special little extra indignity for actors of like, and now I want you to cut this smaller. And the stress of not having like there are times you have an audition, you don't have one, which is silly.

Everything's online. You see it on a click anyway. I'm glad that I could commiserate with you on that, Katie, because headshots were always such a nightmare for me. It was like you have just a stack of pictures of yourself in your house at all times, well, your apartment. I keep finding them, old ones, places, and you're like, oh, these, I used these.

But I have been very grateful in uh the last few years I I I love acting but I've focused on that way less uh because of all the other stuff that Cody and I are doing with some more news and yeah worst year ever and all of that and it's been such a relief in so many ways I miss acting I still would love to do it and we'll audition every so often but i do not miss all of the different trappings of being an actor of needing to have this printed up driving around town well i guess this year you're not driving around for auditions anyway but and just the turmoil of it but those goddamn headshots and needing to shell out for them and every time you if you're not working your agent will immediately be like well

maybe it's time we get new pictures fuck you the pictures aren't doing it yeah is there something wrong with me obviously is there some kind of uh connected racket with agents and headshot photographers guaranteed absolutely a lot of agents will be like here's our guy that we recommend and you've got to use them like they'll be like, you have to. Well, because you also don't, especially if you're at that kind of an agency, you're starting out or you're, you know, you're just really grateful to be working with somebody and you're willing to do whatever.

And then it costs so much money, like 50 bucks just to upload them onto the hosting websites. It's impossible. That's like, that's chump change compared to like, getting the headshots are very expensive. Then printing them, Dan, like 300 bucks. Yikes. I say yikes.

I'm always jealous of jerks who figured out how to make really easy money. They're so smart. They're just tricking people. So smart. They just got in early and figured out how to trick people. And it's not illegal to trick people. Ugh.

Jealous. Yeah. But maybe I'll get headshots again soon. I don't know. I did look at some people. Every so often, you get requests to like, can we have a headshot of some sort? And I can't send them that one. You know?

Right. I think you should just be offer only at this point, Katie. Absolutely. You've surpassed headshot oh love this i hope everybody listening takes this to heart and sends me a lot of offers yeah uh our listenership is i think i can send you the the the breakdown afterwards but it's about 60-40 split directors and casting directors. So one of them will reach out to you, I'm sure. Love this. I'm so excited for my new career after this. Look, we all shop online and we've all seen that promo code field taunt us at checkout. And we've all listened to a bunch of podcasts where they've thrown out promo codes that you forgot to write down. Thanks to Honey, manually searching for coupon codes is a thing of the past.

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Peter Dinklage is the Mafia boss and he is talking to a goon of his who has upset him and Peter Dinklage is the mafia boss, and he is talking to a goon of his who has upset him. And he is flanked by another goon who has so far not upset him. And the first goon is very apologetic. He's like, I'm sorry, boss. I made a mistake. I swear I'm going to make it right. And the boss is very angry.

And he turns to goon number two. And goon number two reaches into the car and like, what's he going to get? Oh, he produces a box. What's in the box? He opens the box. It's a donut. He hands it to the boss. The boss eats the donut. That's what he wanted. He wanted the donut. But then, Peter Dinklage looks to the goon again, and the goon produces a gun this time,

and points it at the first goon, and then hands the gun to Peter Dinklage, and Peter Dinklage points the gun, and it's all... It's a very intimidating, well choreographed bit of, of a threatening business. And it all takes place without a single word being uttered between the mafia boss and his,

his, the good goon. And I've seen it a bunch of times where a boss will like turn to an underling and wordlessly nod. And the underling knows the thing to get. Sometimes it's a gun. Sometimes it's like, and then I take out the briefcase full of money and I spin it around and

open it. Or sometimes it's, I opened the car door and the hostage comes out. It's always a thing that, that happens without any kind of audible signal and my quick question is is did they either practice it a like really with peter dinklage being like you know if i if i look at you like this like with my eyes like this like like like i like i really want something then like get me a

donut but make it look scary like make make the audience not sure what you're doing but then if I look at you like this and I tilt my my my chin to the south like tilt it south or southward then get the gun and if I wink hand me the gun if I don't just me the gun. If I don't, just point the gun. And they probably have a third wordless cue for shoot the guy. Because there's so many more possibilities of things that might need to happen. Absolutely. Once Donut is introduced into the equation, that's everything. You've broken the floodgates at that point. Anything could be a possibility.

And so my guess, like my question is, either they practiced it and isn't that very funny or do we think that goon number two is just amazingly good at his job he's really attuned to his boss because because that scenario is actually more the first one is like whimsical and silly because it's like it's a a pitcher a catcher and a coach going over the different hand signals for different pitches and like learning all that trickery. And that's, it's fun to imagine mafiosos doing that. It's whimsical. But the second scenario is more relatable to me.

That's a goon who's just sort of like spent much of his gooning career on the sidelines watching what's going on. And then one day was probably like, you know, I think our boss really likes like a show. He likes to make a show of things. He likes to seem intimidating. I, I, I know what he wants. I know, I know how to make this look the way he looks. He's going to be really happy with me. I'm going to do this donut thing. That's like a little bit of added flair that he's really going to love. And, uh, my job is going to be to anticipate what he wants

from just a look i'm going to get so good at it that that's going to be like my job in the goon squad is being that guy what you're describing dan is being a really good assistant i was gonna say a body man like uh yes the president's like aid it's a job that i that i i bring it up just because i like i personally think uh i would be very good at that kind of job because it's it's a job that i that i i bring it up just because i like i personally think uh i would be very good at that kind of job because it's it's it's i was never our old boss jack's body man or anything like that but i'd made a habit out of sending him like thorough emails that answer his questions before he knows to before he has to bother himself asking them because he's the guy in charge and like let's say it's employee review time. That'd be like, here's who you need to talk to Jack. Here, here are the,

here are my recommendations on their reviews. Here's where you need to be when you need to be there. You didn't ask for this information, but here it is. And Jack was always very appreciative. Just like, yeah, good. Thanks. I did the same thing whenever we were planning like vacations with friends. Right. I'm just like, here's our it Thanks. I did the same thing whenever we were planning like vacations with friends. Right. I'm just like, here's our itinerary. I put it together. You don't have to think about it because I printed out copies and made it a little bit

fun. Sounds like this question's turned into a moment for you to tell us all how good you are at your job and being a friend. Well, that's part of it. Part of it is I want you, I'm wondering if you guys think I would be a good goon. I think you'd be a great goon. Thank you. Because I think in either of these scenarios, whether it be this is just a man that was hired because he's really intuitive.

I mean, you know, one step ahead. Or it's because they choreographed it and perfected it. It's because they choreographed it and perfected it. And I think that you would show up to both of those positions with a lot of enthusiasm and dedication to the job. Thank you. I think you do a good job. I also think you would be a great goon, Daniel. I think you've got a lot of good emotional intelligence.

Oh, wow. Yeah, very important for gooning. Yeah. You pick up on those cues because, you know, like goons get shot all the time because they slip up. They're like, they say the wrong thing to somebody and the lead guy turns around and he's like, what did you say? I don't know, boss. I was just telling him like, you're the one in charge. Like I was just letting him know, you know, cause you're the one. And then that guy is dead. So you don't slip up like that. So I think you'd be great at it. I also, I do, that's very kind of of you but I do think in my gunning career, I would eventually be

usurped by someone who was just passion and danger in the way that like It was laughable to us that that parents used to be afraid of the band kiss. She was like They were demons they weren't they were knights in Satan's service and they had and they had this scary makeup and like and and this pyro That's all that's all pageantry It's not really scary. But then suddenly Eminem shows up and he looks like your kid He wears a white t-shirt and he talks about murdering people and throwing them in trucks and it's like oh that's scary There's less pageantry to that. That's real fear. That's the the goon that would usurp me is the guy's like yes in this situation I'm kiss. I'm absolutely and and and my&m is just some younger goon who is like what are you you fucking

get a donut what did you what did you practice this like a dance you idiot just shoot the guy and it's like yeah yeah well that guy's more effectively intimidating than i am even though i clearly put more work into it yeah i can see you being very good at the donut part. Not particularly good at the shooting guys part. Yeah. Have you shot a gun before? I have. At our friend Michael Swaim's bachelor party, we went to a gun range, which is incredibly off-brand for everyone who was involved in that bachelor party.

Yeah, that's a surprise. Everything else about his bachelor party made complete sense for everyone who was involved in that bachelor party. Yeah, that's a surprise. Everything else about his bachelor party made complete sense for everyone involved. We went to San Diego. We went to a very nice Indian restaurant that he loved. We got a house on the beach. We drank and got cigars. Even that's a little strange for this party.

But then we watched movies. We just watched movies and talked and like sat on the beach at night and talked about life and looked at the moon and shit. That's very Michael. But before that we got in a limo and went to a gun range and fired guns. Sounds like a great adventure. I didn't

like it. Yeah. I mean the rest of it. Gun scare. I fired a gun once. Once. And I dropped it and scare. I fired a gun once. Once. And I dropped it and cried. I was like in the middle of a field. I was in my early 20s. My boyfriend at the time was from Washington.

We were visiting his family. And he was like, you want to shoot some stuff? And I had a shotgun. It was too much. It was a shotgun? That's a. Yeah. Yes.

I'm like, do I. And i'm misremembering because i do have a bad memory but no i'm pretty sure it was a shotgun i remember it and i cried uh so that was my end of my it's a it's a very powerful thing like to it surprises you no matter what yeah i took uh greg and lou who are friends of ours uh used to do a lot of sketch comedy together Greg and Lou famous libertarian yes he is isn't he I took them shooting once at a shooting range and

Lou had never shot a gun before Lou fired the first shot and then very very gently put the gun back down and was like I'm done oh Lou libertarian Lou you know what else i learned about shooting guns that that was very humbling is like uh a thing they never show in the movies or tv shows is we had a uh i think it's a glock where it's like a policeman's gun and you have the clip which

is the thing that holds the bullets physically the the spring inside the clip of a gun is so strong it's very difficult to load those guns you're just shoving bullet after bullet in there and i'm like a 20 something man fucking struggling and just being like i think i'm only this gun i think is only going to have the five bullets in it i don't think we're going to do the whole amount because i'm sweating i think mine's broken am i allowed to have the five bullets in it. I don't think we're going to do the whole amount because I'm sweating. I think mine's broken. Am I allowed to use the table to put the bullets into the thing? Can I use gravity? I need some leverage here.

It's not easy. And you pinch yourself a lot and you're like, ow, ow. The gun hurt me. Yeah. It's not for me. Did you,

now Soren. Robert was, please. Sorry. No, you go. I was just going to say, Robert was going to take, told me it was going to hurt me. Yeah. It's not for me. Did you now soar? Robert was. Please. Sorry. No, you go. I was just going to say Robert was going to take, told me it was going to take me pre-pandemic. But then the pandemic happened. Robert says hi, by the way.

Robert Evans. Yeah. It's not surprising to me that he said he was going to take you because there's not been a single thing in the world that Evans thought couldn't be solved by exposure to whatever. Yeah. You just need to know. Yeah. Okay. I think one time we were having drinks at Barney's Beanery and he was like,

you should be around more death, Daniel. You'd be less scared of it. Yeah, that is 100% a thing he would say. Okay. Cool. I'll think about that the rest of the evening. Thank you. So, Warren, you said very specifically that you took Greg and Lou shooting.

Like this was a thing that you made it seem like at least you have done before? Or did you just plan it? No, it's a shooting range i'd been to before and i invited them to go um because i thought it would be a fun thing for us to do i i don't like guns i don't think they should the gun should be legal i think uh they're silly and dangerous and i think shooting them is so much fun really it's really really enjoyable to go shoot a gun yes and so sean baby and i went when he was in town once um i've taken oh adam brown and i went uh and i've taken greg and lou twice well it took uh just greg once yeah because

lou was spooked from that first time right he. He was gun-shy. Very literally. I think it's such a fun and silly scoop for our listeners that, like, all of your favorite mid-early 2000s sketch comedians and writers were just, like, fucking shooting guns in fields. Every one of us.

We were like, what is that, a desert eagle? Let me see that one. Look at my grouping. Katie Stull firing shotguns in Washington. And then sobbing. Right, right. Daniel, I don't think I would be a very good goon in that scenario because I like being told explicitly what to do at all times.

I don't want any room for miscommunication. I want to be micromanaged basically because if it comes up where like somebody nods at me, my first instinct is like, oh, what's up? You want to engage right now? Seems like a bad time in front of this guy we're about to kill, but like, yeah, you want chopped up?

He nods and soren goes, hi. Right. Yeah, what's up? Hey, boss. Oh, is now the time for the donut boss i don't want to undermine you but whatever you got for me we should do it later that guy's really scared over there i think that's more pressing are we are we gonna kiss what are we doing right now are you nodding at me i'd be bad because i cave under that kind of pressure i think i'd get too nervous

I'd be bad because I cave under that kind of pressure, I think. I'd get too nervous. I can imagine me fumbling with the briefcase. I'm sorry. Oh, God, and the donut falls out. Pick it up, dust it off. You just hand him a tray with six things on it. You're like, I don't remember which one was which, but I'm sure one of these has to be right, right?

But then I'd give him a really winning smile and try to disarm the situation. Oh, that's fun. Who even remembers what we're mad at? I think I'd be an okay goon in like a Charlie Chaplin comedy. Were there a lot of goons in Charlie Chaplin comedies? I don't know. I just pictured myself in some physical comedy type situation.

There were always guys chasing him with guns shooting at him I think there might have been some goons in there why am I picturing you as Charlie Chaplin did you dress up as him for a thing

or were you well I did a clown video that's right forever ago with Milana Weintraub who you guys might know as

the girl the AT&T spokeswoman Lily from AT&T Lily from AT&T. Lily from AT&T. Yeah, we did a little, I took a clowning class, and then we started doing these little short black and white things, and I kind of dressed up.

It kind of has that vibe. Yeah, tramp vibes in it. Yeah, tramp. Oh, wait. I also did Charlie Chaplin for Halloween one year. You might just be thinking of that. No, it's definitely the Le Bien video that you did with Milana because I love that video and I've

watched it a thousand times. It's very fun. I think I'm ready to start wrapping things up unless you have any more questions, Soren. No, I'm good. Okay. Oh, shoot. Oh. So, Katie, at the end of the show, we like to

promote the social accounts of the show and both of us as hosts and you as our wonderful fantastic guest uh but once again i've i've lost them so i'm gonna track those down it's no problem i know where they are i'm gonna track them down uh while i'm doing that though if you could just fill the time by just like vamping a little bit on a question. So a lot of people know you as obviously a performer and a writer and now a podcast host, but many people don't know just how influential you were to like the voice and the look and feel of Cracked Videos because you've been behind the scenes for so long of muskets and then

later cracked when that became absorbed and you had such a a strong hand on casting which really more than almost anything else has um a huge impact on the the the face of the brand and what we're putting out in the world it's such an underrated essential amazing aspect of of this little endeavor that we all made together and if people love what they saw a lot of that is uh because of the work that that you did that goes largely unpraised or has gone largely unpraised until right now uh my question for you is not about that it It's, fuck, marry, kill the boys of After Hours. Fuck, marry, kill the boys of After Hours? Shit.

All right. All right. All right. That's a lot of pressure, guys. Two of them are here. Or are we talking about new cast too? No.

We're not. Okay. Don't even know who they are. Because that gets fuzzy for me in my own personal relationships. All right. All right. All right.

Fuck, marry, kill. Still checking down these accounts. Oh, God damn. I don't want to kill any of you. Soren is definitely the best husband material. I got to get married to Soren. That's the best one. Now, am I going to fuck you, Daniel, or am I going to kill you?

That's so much pressure to have looking at you in the eye through a screen. You know what, Daniel? I'll fuck you, and I'll kill Michael. All right. Thank you. I do think there's an objectively right answer to that question and you didn't get it right but you're still very sweet and i appreciate that is it supposed to be fuck soren marry michael and kill you because that'd be a lot i don't know michael i love i i

think we might no you know what michael would be fun to to marry i think it's it's marry Soren, fuck Michael, kill Daniel. Oh. That's just your self-loathing. No, I've thought about this more than most. Anyway, you can find Katie on Twitter

at Katie Stoll. You can find Soren at Soren underscore LTD on Twitter. You can find me at DOB underscore INC. You can find the show on Twitter at twitter.com slash qq underscore soren

and dan or Instagram by searching. You can find and hire our fantastic producer, editor, engineer, sweet guy, Gabe at gabeharter.com. We also have a Patreon and I have recently learned that if you pay money to the Patreon, you get special exclusive

bonus episodes. So that's extra work on my plate. I'm just making some of those. Katie, would you like to tell people beyond Twitter where people can find you and plug your fantastic shows? Hell yeah, I'd like to. You already covered Twitter. Thank you. You can find me doing podcasts with Worst Year Ever on iHeartRadio.

That's with Cody Johnston and Robert Evans. It was just supposed to be about the election, but then it was about so much more. And now we're still going with it. Same title. Also, Submore News and even more news. Submore News is the YouTube show that uh started at cracked i guess a different version of it legally distinct etc um that i run with cody and our companion podcast even more news if you just want to talk about news but also have some laughs and jokes and stuff too

some interviews do that stuff oh we also have a Patreon, but support this Patreon. Eh. No, I don't. You do yours. Plug it. All right. It's some more news. There we go.

Those are my things. Thanks, Katie. Bye. Yeah, bye.