Quick Question with Soren and Daniel - QQ ep 8 - Quick Question with Soren and Daniel

Episode Date: July 17, 2019

Welcome Quick Questers! This episode Soren learns that all dogs go to heaven, and Dan asks questions about smelling.  Also check out a fantastic new podcast from one of our sponsors, Endless Honeymoon! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-endless-honeymoon-podcast/id1471202833

Hello again and welcome to another episode of Quick Question with Soren and Daniel. I am the Daniel part of that podcast title. My full name is Daniel Joseph Nicholas O'Brien and I co-created this podcast as an elaborate excuse to connect with my best friend who is separated from me by 3,000 miles. friend who is separated from me by 3,000 miles. I guess we could just get on the phone and like talk to each other, but we have instead decided to take all of our conversations wherein we discuss the biggest, smallest, and nothingest of life's questions and turn them into content for you, the listener. Once more, I'm Daniel O'Brien and I'm joined as always by Soren Bui. Soren, what do you sound like?

A little like this. You have two middle names? Yeah, I'm Catholic, so I do, yeah. I didn't know that was a rule either. All Catholics have two middle names? So I do. Yeah. I didn't know that was a rule either. I'm born with a middle name. And then, uh, when we,

we get confirmed, you get to pick a second middle name. You do. Wait, you get to pick it. Yeah, I did. Yeah.

And you pick Nicholas or I'm guessing Nicholas. I, I, I, I picked Nicholas and I'm very ashamed of it because I, I picked it because, uh, I was in CCD which is like

Catholic after school studies. You do this like I had normal school and then I had Catholic school afterwards and they were like hey you gotta pick a name for your confirmation and you have to write an essay

about your name and I picked Nicholas because Nicholas is Santa Claus. and you have to write an essay about your name. And I picked Nicholas because Nicholas is Santa Claus, St. Nick. And I thought there's going to be a lot of information about him. So it would be really easy to write an essay because there's so much material about this guy. That's where I was headed. Yeah, I assumed it must be St. Nick. Yep.

Must be Santa. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Must be Santa. Must be Santa. Yeah, the other voice that you'll hear occasionally is our CFO and good friend Bacon. Hey, Dan. I have no middle name, which means on this podcast, we average one middle name each. Wait, you have no middle name at all no middle name but anyway as always we are quick question and as even more always you our listeners are also known as quick tracys i hate this i hate that i do this that was my favorite one so far it can be yeah we went off the rails immediately quick van dykes yeah uh we're gonna talk about a lot of things today we're gonna talk about uh reviews from our listeners we're gonna talk about oh boy damn and do you want to keep doing the show or what

before we get into any of that i i wanted to talk to soren soren you had a birthday recently hell yeah yeah uh july 2nd is my birthday and my wife and my son and i went camping out on catalina island which is just outside of Los Angeles. And it was awesome. It was so great. It's like beach camping, but in a place where there aren't a lot of other people. You took the ferry? Yeah, yeah. I don't think there's any other. Oh, I guess you could get there by helicopter, but that's not really my speed. Yeah, we went on the ferry and my son was pumped for every stage of it because, you know, this is all brand new to him. He loved the ferry.

And then there's a little Island just off of Catalina. That's all white. And the first time I ever went there and my wife and I made the mistake of trying to paddle out to it. And it was just this it's white because it's covered in bird shit. And I think they actually call it poop Island. And like, as you were getting closer, we're like, Oh God, I can't breathe. I can't breathe.

And so we paddled away from as quickly as possible and then we talked to my son about it and the idea of a poop island was so exciting to him that that's all he talked about the entire time really and then at one point my wife called it shit island by accident in front of him and for the rest of the trip he kept going shit island island did you so where did you stay did you stay in a hotel or just no like like proper camping yeah we did real camping in fact we had to hike to our camping spot not super far but uh far enough that it felt like a a real backpacking trip for him and yeah and he was good for the most part uh he was really on board for it and like the idea of sleeping in a tent and everything like that and now i mean when you ask him about it all he talks

about are marshmallows like he thinks that's synonymous with camping which i guess for some people it is uh and he was really on he was like a good sport about all of it even the hiking which i was not anticipating well like how much hiking did he do about a mile okay yeah and otherwise you're carrying him yeah yeah i put him on my shoulders so what i did basically we got to the harbor i hiked out with a bunch of gear to the campsite put it all down trotted back and collected my family and uh with the anticipation that he would bail halfway through the hike or even like a quarter of the way and i would just put him on my shoulders for the rest of it but he was really good and so it looked like i was just walking holding hands with my son and my

wife was carrying all of our gear to everyone else that sounds like a fun birthday though it was great i loved it uh i we i like to get out of LA for the fireworks anyway because that whole week leading up to the 4th of July is just mayhem here. Yeah. But that's a little strange to me because birthdays past, you've made a huge deal out of your birthday.

Yeah, that was a bit that I really loved doing was pretending that I loved my birthday because everybody else hates their birthday so much. There's nothing to do when people are singing happy birthday around you. It's like a humiliating experience. So it's the worst thing in the world. I would just lean into it. And as soon as people started singing, I would go and collect people from other rooms and pull them in and then clap along and sing along. Singing along to your own happy birthday song is a really fun thing to do. It's a really good bit.

And I would make it a birthday month thing and I would try and compete with the 4th of July. And now it's like the bit's old to me. It's not fun anymore. So I just don't do it. When did you start doing it? When did you start like leaning into your birthday? I guess it was right after I graduated college.

Because everybody at that point was doing that, the other bit that I hated so much, which was like, oh, I can't believe I'm turning 22. Oh, I'm so old. And I hated that. And so I would very much lean into my birthday is an event that everybody has to prepare for. I hope you're all getting ready.

And you're all doing something for me. And I know you and like I also I know you would also famously not tell people your birthday. And I would make it my business to try to punish you for that on your birthday. Oh, yeah. You tried to ruin my life. It's fine. It's wonderful. I would try and... First of all, I'd try and make you very, very upset

with whatever... Like, with some ruse. And then the payoff for the ruse was something very kind and nice so that you had nowhere to put any of that anger anymore. But it was still you. So the long and short of it is that i don't like a lot of attention and you forced a lot of attention on me for my birthday and i can't be mad about it because

it's born out of niceness yeah like there was there was a birthday where i convinced everybody else in the office it was also like right around, when I worked at demand media for five years. And so, uh, when I got into work in the morning, I took the balloon off of your desk that they put on everybody's desk when it's their birthday and put it on mine and wrote five years on it. And, and, and then had everyone in our office get presents that were really more suited for you. But for me, for my five year, for my five year anniversary. So throughout the day, Dan, who's sitting across from me, would watch people come into the office and be like, oh, I got you this really cool dog toy. I was like, right. I should have known I should have picked up on the clues, but I didn't. When Jack, our boss at the time time gave you a dog toy and you were

like oh this is nice i don't have a dog but i'll take this this dog toy yeah i just sat there like man i really don't know sorry and there was there was michael burned a cd for me that he'd been promising to burn you for like ages yeah it it was Stephen Page's Page One CD. Yeah, and then at one point even you went out at lunch thinking, wow, I guess five years is a big deal. And you bought me a card on your birthday. I got you a card and a lottery scratch off because I thought we were all celebrating you that day.

That's right. And, uh, and then I, the, the coup de tat was like the, what's the peak, the Zenith of the whole day was that I, uh, had a cake made that said happy birthday, Daniel and Daniel happy birthday was all crossed out. And it said happy anniversary soaring down the side of the cake. And then of course we gave all the presents to you at the end. Yeah, no, it was nice. It was a very good birthday prank. But anyway, this is the show Quick Question, and we're going to talk about all the questions that we need to ask each other.

But before we do that, well, normally this is when I would read a five-star review of our podcast. when I would read a five-star review of our podcast, but once a month we go to our Patreon to answer a question from a Patreon contributor. And this month we are responding to Jacob Miller, who asks, what would you say would be your favorite and or best projects during your careers? Whoa.

All right. Do you have one locked and loaded? I have a couple things. Yeah. Do you want me to go first while you think? Yeah. Okay. So I will always go down to how to be a supporter of After Hours

because I think that's very cool that I got to make a show that was sneakily a college comparative literature course in video form. It was a bunch of people doing essays

in video and I like that I got to do that a whole lot. Separate from that, ROM.com, a show that I made at Cracked, will always have a special place in my heart because it's a show that happened late enough in the run of Cracked. It was like the peak of internet content comedy boom where uh we just had too much money to spend and i was happy to make it because i got to create a lot of characters for people to

play i was very excited that i got to create a thing for c to play Caitlin Lodge who played Josie and Elise Gomez Lacula the main character I got to write stuff for her and I got to write stuff for Damien Washington who played Russ and the random characters that showed up throughout that show. ROM.com has a huge place in my heart in terms of why I wrote it and relationship stuff. But separate from all that, I like that it was a venue to create a lot of fun characters to play and do stuff. Soren, have I vamped enough?

Yeah, of course. I have one. I'm being very polite and waiting for you. I'm not just going to interrupt you. Dan, are there any other cast members of ROM.com you've been talking about? My,

my favorite thing that I've made for opposite reasons is Dispatches from Goddamn Space, which is a six-episode tiny miniseries that has no other characters in it. I'm the only one in it. The camera's on me the whole time. And it's just about an astronaut who's in space who has these dispatches with a kindergarten class in a small town and he's slowly going insane in space

uh that one was a lot of fun for me because it was basically cracked was just like oh you want to do this this little thing it doesn't cost that much all right go do it and i was i just had kind of free reign over it. How much do you think that cost? I would guess that each episode costs about $1,000. But we shot every episode in one shot, right? Yes.

I think to build the set, to have the crew, the costumes, this is like everything, I bet $1,000 do you uh well what would a season two be um i think so but the end of it was there's another astronaut on the ship who kind of wrestles control away and they're on their way back to Earth for the last one. I think maybe the next one would be inside the kindergarten with the kids. And he's still doing it.

He's in the kindergarten with the kids? Yeah, he's still doing the dispatches for them. And the kids are all there. They're sort of like quasi hostage to this man. I think that would be fun. Yeah. Okay. Well, that's fun.

So we have an ad now. And I guess I'm just gonna read it. Our first ad? No! Come on, there's pageantry to be had from this. Okay, yeah, so I'm... Everybody, this is a real exciting thing for us because we're finally making some money

and money's why we're doing this in the first place. It's all about the benjamins yeah okay so i'm gonna i'm gonna read the ad copy now all right here i go since we know that our listeners love comedy or love love we have to tell you about a super fun new podcast from two incredible comedians who also happen to be married. Their new show, The Endless Honeymoon Podcast, premiered yesterday, July 15th, and it's a solid mix of stories they share from their own marriage, funny game segments, and hilarious conversations with callers in desperate need of love and relationship advice.

After listening to the clip we're about to play, go click on the link in the episode description or search for the Endless Honeymoon podcast on Apple Podcasts to hear more from Natasha and Moshe and catch full episodes airing every Monday. Have you ever faked it with your current partner? Have you ever faked it? You know, I gotta say, I just always went into... I usually go in... I'm sure I have before in my past,

but with you or someone I'm in love with, I don't really do that. You don't really? I don't. You never. You don't really? I don't. You never have. I never have. It feels like in my head, if I do that, that would be a slippery slope. And then you would always do it.

You know, you always want to when you have an orgasm, you don't want to ever fake that because then it's like, what happens the next time? Then you do it. And then you're always having fake orgasms. I don't know. It's like a very slippery slope. we'll say a weird statistic about me um remember i told you i was with approximately three to four hundred people what's really interesting about me is no one of them ever faked it with me no i can tell wait a man can't fake it right no i faked it with you a bunch of times oh my god i'm serious oh boy what a great ad

uh soren i really like uh natasha and moshe uh i really love uh natasha leggero so much because she's sort of uh glamorized being successful as a stand-up comedian. And she's just like, her persona is unapologetically fabulous. And I like that. I feel like most comics are self-deprecating. And there are a few who are self-congratulatory. And it's very rare. I think it's, uh, Natasha Leggero and Anthony Jeselnik and no one else. Yeah. You, you are a person who, uh, is funny while handsome. And I'm curious, uh, quick question, Soren. Yeah. What are your, what are your tips to being

funny while handsome and wealthy? Uh, it's, it's to go too far in that direction. That's like the most fun to be had. I, the, the first time I ever saw Natasha Leggero is she was doing stamp at a Cuban restaurant. And restaurant and uh it was just like there was no stage or anything but she treated it like everyone was there to see her she's like one of the get one of the stand-ups that happened to be there for doing a type five but every once in a while she just kept kept taking her mirror out of her purse and looking into it and I was like oh that's really good that's a really good bit and treating it like yes you're all here to see me uh oh bonus there's also cuban food here like it was so wonderful and when i started it cracked i was like trying to decide on what my angle would be because i was gonna be a columnist

and i felt like there was a you guys had a lot of coverage and uh i was like what what can i offer that nobody else does and um being the being an idiot who doesn't deserve everything that he has, but thinks he does, is a really fun thing to be. Yeah. I'm trying to think of any pointers that I can... Oh, yeah. It's just because I've been trying to be, like, funny wealthy guy, wealthy guy and I'm just like not good at it. I'm at a point in my life where I'm, I'm, I'm making good money and I'm, I'm trying

to play that up amongst my friends and they do not care. yeah i i i do a lot of uh i talk a lot about like how proud i am of really banal domestic achievements like how hard i get from coiling my uh christmas lights exactly the right way or like doing it typing into twitter uh uh fiesta where ramekins uh seven different colors and then being like oh i'm sorry i was doing a masturbation search like i'm so sorry i was just looking for porn um that kind of thing which is just and like as long as it's way above and beyond what's actually reasonable like talking about your manse instead of your even your mansion like it just takes it a step further and everyone's like all right all right he's fucking around it's fine yeah okay uh so do you have any quick questions for me yeah i do uh dan yeah how how often would you say you take your

your dog to the vet uh once every six months and are they really accommodating there or are they just like trying to cycle you through like a hospital they And are they really accommodating there or are they just trying to cycle you through a hospital? They're pretty accommodating. They message me and they'll email me and say, it's time for Jackson's next visit. And then I go and bring him there. Why do you ask? Because I had my first experience with vets recently

and I was blown away by the amount of attention that they gave. What do you mean you had your first experience with vets? Did you get a pet? I had a near brush with getting a pet. What does that mean? Well, I'll tell you. And I'll warn you now that the story starts kind of sad, gets better, and then gets real sad and then gets a little better.

Okay. So when we were, after we came back from Catalina for my birthday, we came to the house and in the backyard, I just noticed that there was a dog back there. And I went back and someone had clearly put the dog there. A dog in your house? In my backyard. yeah the and someone had clearly opened the gate put the dog in the backyard and shut it like getting rid of this dog and uh it was emaciated it was not in good shape and it had fleas all over it and it was old and it could barely walk and so i gave this dog some water and some food and my neighbor

helped out a lot because he's got dogs and he had like bowls and things that i just was not equipped with and then you don't have bowls i don't have dog bowls and uh or food they're pretty similar to human bowls yes but those are my bowls and i don't know this dog yet and uh so he was very accommodating he's like well what do you want to do because if you take this dog to a shelter they're just going to kill it uh it's old and it's not doing well and there's nobody's going to adopt this thing they'll just they'll put it down and so i was like okay well i'll take it to a vet get a sense of what kind of shape it's in and then i don I don't know, we're in a position where we could have a dog for three or four years, the rest of its life, and maybe give this dog a good

life. And so I'm, I'm starting from that perspective, but I'm also trying not to get too attached. And we didn't even tell my son, like, we're not, we're not, we're talking in hushed tones, trying to decide what to do while he's in the house. Cause I don't want him getting used to it either. Well, I think we're getting a dog. a dog. And so he wraps it in a, my neighbor wraps it in a furniture pad and we take it to his vet. And the vet is, doesn't want anything to do with it at first. I mean, we called a bunch of vets first and they're like, oh no, you can't come in without an appointment.

And we're like, well, we have this dog that's starving to death and I want, I think it's going to die. And they're like, no, no, no. And the doctor's out too. So eventually he's, his vet was very nice. It was the VCA here in Culver city. And, uh, I took the dog in with him. They looked at it and they felt very badly for it. They took it into the back room and they're like, well, you guys can go for the day. Cause we're gonna have to run a bunch of tests on this

dog to see what kind of shape it's in. And we got to wash it and everything. So I left, came back a day later and they said his, everything actually looks really good. He's like 10 years old. He's just really emaciated. He's anemic, but that's probably because of all the fleas. And the only thing that's bad is his kidneys. And that's probably just because of so much neglect that his kidneys are bad. We'd like to flush his system entirely. That takes 72 hours. Afterwards afterwards we'll see what extortionate shape his kidneys are in and if they're good then I think you can have this dog and so I'm like okay great so we name it and I'm sort of

thinking about like I'm starting to prepare emotionally and just logistically to have a dog in the house and getting ready for it I get the call in 72 hours and they're like kidneys look good like this dog's in 72 hours and they're like, kidneys look good. Like this dog's in good shape. And I'm like, all right, great. So I hang up and I'm planning to

go pick it up that day. I tell my son, we're kind of preparing him for the fact that there's going to be an old dog that will live with us now. Somebody didn't want it, but we do. And, uh, this is a good opportunity and that it's, we want this dog in our family and he's getting pumped about it. He starts like, he's got a toy, like a little pet puppy stuffed animal that he's like excited about showing to this dog and stuff. Oh, honey,

you're going to break my heart. I know this is going to break my heart. This is good. This is the first time Dan will cry on the podcast. And then as I'm at PetSmart, getting the bed and stuff, I mean, I've just checked out and I get a call

and they're like, we found one more thing. The dog has a rectal hernia that has to be fixed with surgery uh why don't you come in and look at the x-rays and i was like oh okay and so i come in with like a leash and a collar in hand ready to pick this dog up and they're like okay so here's the way it look here's what it looks like it's a little it's like a an extra little sack inside the rectum where shit is just filling up and it can't be there. And so they have to fix it with surgery. And I'm like, all right, well, how much does that cost?

And it was, let's just say it was cost prohibitive. I mean, with all the boarding and everything I'd done already for this dog too, it was, I couldn't afford this. And it's a specialist that has to do it. And so I'm talking to my wife on the phone about it. Cause I want to get her take. I don't just want to like,

be like, no, get rid of the dog and not tell her. So I call her and we're talking about it. I'm like, it seems like they're telling me that this is probably the best option now is to euthanize this dog. And so,

and we're both like crying on the phone and we went, we're both being like, this is so stupid. We don't even know this dog. Why are we like this? And then, uh, uh put down the phone the vet comes back in and i say i think we're gonna we're gonna put it down and she was like yeah i think that's the right choice and i'm crying in front of this vet and she's sad for me but she doesn't i mean like i i think she also acknowledges that it's sort of silly that i'm so sad for this dog that I don't know.

No, it's not silly. It's very normal. It's very wonderful. And so she's like, do you want to be here for it? And I said, yeah. And so I'm like, ready. And I'm like, I want to put this collar on this dog. And I want this dog to know that somebody wanted it.

Like a prank? Like a prank story? I wanted this dog to know, like, yeah, listen, I know you had a hard life. I want you to know you were wanted. Like that kind of thing. And I'm crying in the room.

And then she comes back in and she's like, I'm sorry for the whirlwind of emotion here. I've talked to a couple of rescues. There's a rescue that will take this dog and pay for the surgery, but you have to surrender the dog are you willing to do that oh my god soren and i was like i mean i didn't know what she wanted me to like why she was even asking say that like a word yeah because i was like no you promised me i could watch a dog die here. That's what we're doing.

And so I was like, yeah, fucking yeah. Surrender the dog. She's like, oh, okay. That's great. That's great news. And I'm like, I have so much stuff. I have things for him. I have here is bowls and I have a bed.

And isn't this a nice bed? Look at the bed I got. And like, I'm giving her all this stuff and I can't tell if she wants it or not. Like the dog will even use it. But then they're like, she takes it all. And I signed some papers and I'm giving her all this stuff and I can't tell if she wants it or not, if like the dog will even use it. But then they're like, they've, she takes it all. And I signed some papers and I'm like,

I wish I would be able to check up on this dog still. And they're like, yeah, yeah, absolutely. And they were so nice and kind. And they told me at every stage, like what exactly was happening with the dog,

what the expectation should be. And they were great. And then I give them all the stuff. I get to see the dog one more time. And it's like, it's leg is prepared for the IV already to have euthanized it. And it's got the collar on and I can hang out with them for a little bit. And then they're like, we're going to tell you what, you know, we'll give you the information since the rescue comes.

We just have to board him for a few more days. Are you willing to pay for that? And I was like, yeah, absolutely. And so I leave feeling pretty good. And even, I mean, I didn't get the dog, but the dog's going to live. And I was very excited about that. Radio silence from them since then. I can't even, when I call them to find out what this rescue is, I can't get the information.

Oh my God. I'm a little bit worried that this is like the grownup version of we're taking your dog upstate to a farm. Oh no. Yeah. It sounds like Bacon has something to say. No, this is... Dan, you're the only dog owner. Is that what they did to him?

Do you know? Probably, yeah. Because I was pretty broken up there in a way where I wasn't anticipating. I'm pretty good at hiding that kind of shit, and I was not. It was just all on the table, and I'm crying in that room

and waiting on the vet a lot and eventually she comes in and like she it's clear that it's affecting her too a little bit uh to watch another human being cry and so it's possible that that's what they did to me but i i have to think that like there's a that there's just some rescue that was like yeah we'll pay for that surgery. This dog sounds really sweet. And that was the thing. This dog is so sweet. It was the sweetest dog.

So I'm going to keep trying them. I'm going to keep trying to figure out if I got this dog. So quick question. Hey, Soren, quick question. Do you cry in public often or is that very, very rare? Do you cry in public often or is that very, very rare? I think the last time I cried in public was when my son was born. And other than that, I don't even cry at movies.

I will hold. What do you mean public when your son was born? If you're crying at the hospital, that's not public. It's not. Well, I mean, it's not just me and my wife in there. There's like nine nurses and a doctor and then the whole NICU team and stuff like that. So it was in front of a bunch of people. What would you do if you came across someone who was crying like in the street? Like you're walking down the street in, let's say, Eagle Rock.

Yes. You got a taco from a truck and you're walking down the street and then someone was crying. Okay. A male was crying. Okay. A male was crying. Okay. That's what I was going to say is that it shouldn't matter, but it does matter what the gender is to me. I'm not going to approach a woman who's crying.

You're not going to approach... Okay. Why? I feel like it's not my place. I feel like that's... I don't want to be... I don't want anyone to assume or for her to assume like, oh, this guy sees an opening.

And I also think that generally when I see women crying, like they have this body language of like, just fucking leave me alone. Let me get through this. What do you mean? What was your language? I don't want it to be seen as an opening

that I'm trying to take advantage of. An opening, yeah. What the fuck does that mean i didn't think this would be that device there's someone crying in the world yeah but i think that people i i think that that there are a lot of reasons to cry and i think that when i'm if i'm i'm and if i won't like i've seen a woman crying on a bus before like on the train and i'm not gonna go sit next to her because i'm i don't want to be the person who's bothering this person who's just trying to get through this emotional thing does that make sense like i don't want it to be construed as anything other than like, look, I do need anything.

And I can't- You think crying is a thing that needs just like internally get out. You don't think that it requires a second person to help them through it? No. Yeah. I mean, yeah.

That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Well, cause I'm just thinking in my own perspective, if I'm going to, if I'm in a state where I'm crying in public, uh, I want to just, I want to do it on my own. I don't want, I don't want your help. I don't want anyone coming in and offering me anything. And especially when you say, can I do anything to help now? I'm the one who's in charge of like deciding how you can help. And I don't even want that sort of responsibility responsibility i don't start delegating my emotions to you

like i i just want to i want to get through this on my own okay so here here's i'm going to do two things real quick you wake up uh you're you're you're watching my dog right now you're watching jackson yeah so you take him for a walk in the morning. You wake up, you take him outside, and there's a woman crying on a bus stop. You don't talk to her. Is that true? Yeah. You don't talk to her at all?

There's a woman openly weeping on a bus stop outside of my apartment you don't say a word i might try and make eye contact with her as i'm walking by and say hey are you okay are you doing okay uh but i'm not from like a distance i'm not gonna sit down next to her and i'm not gonna like come up be like hey hey hey are you all right like I don't like it feels so invasive in somebody's most vulnerable moment. Okay, so now rewind. You're still walking Jackson. You're still taking care of him. You're staying in my apartment. There's a man who is weeping openly weeping at the bus stop.

Yeah. Do you talk to him at all? Yeah, I probably sit down next to him. Really? Yeah. Yeah. weeping at the bus stop yeah do you talk to him at all yeah i probably sit down next to him really yeah yeah and this actually happened something like not too far off from this happened to me where uh i was at a mcdonald's with my son and there was a homeless man there and he was kind of like looking over at us every once in a while and then it occurred to me that he was crying and so i went over to him and i was like, are you all right? Do you need anything? Can I buy you a lunch or anything?

And every step of the way, he's like, no, no, I don't know. Wow. I would. Yeah. And maybe this is I'm sure this is my sexism. I'm positive this is my sexism. But let me just try and talk my way out of it. I think it's much more rare

that you see a man crying in public maybe because there are less reasons to cry as a man constantly. I don't know why, but you so rarely see it that when a person who has spent

so much time trying to callous themselves to the world breaks, I feel like something very, very tragic has happened and i want to check in yeah okay i mean i i have a quick question for you that i think is kind of related okay um but it it is uh it's less damning for you it's like a normal question it's like a normal question all right uh it's's like sexy is that correct like a guy meets woman who's like sniff sniff and it works and And like, is that... My question is, is that...

Normal behavior? Legitimately sexy. Is that like a sexy thing to do for a man to identify... Smell a woman. Is it normal for a man to smell a woman? No, no.

It's the worst episode ever, first ad. Is it sexy for a man to identify a scent of a woman? I don't think so, man. I don't think so. But like, do you agree that it happens? Yeah, I know what you're talking about. That trope is really common.

And like, yeah, there's like a sophisticated guy will, he dressed to the nines gets close to her neck and knows the scent yeah he sniffs her neck and he's like ah this scent I can't I'm so square that I can't even

like name an example of it I know the trope you're talking about I think it's crazy um the first of all it's good like like i'm i'm very curious if it's good because like because in in my mind either it means that this guy is so good at identifying perfumes that he spends a lot of time smelling perfumes or he

has sex with a lot of people and gets the sense from that experience yeah he knows the best perfumes because he only fucks women who knows the best perfumes because he only fucks women who wear the

best perfumes right um i think that's the innuendo or that's what we're supposed to take from that i don't think that he's the one going to macy's and being like no that one sucks that one's good um but also soren how old are you that you think people are still going to Macy's to get scents? I just turned 37. You know that. No, it is weird. It's also most perfumes smell like they smell almost hurts my teeth. It's so sweet.

I hate the smell of most perfumes. Really? Yeah. I find them really awful. But shampoos are really nice. That's a really close, it's like an intimate smell. Do you notice shampoos? Only when it's my wife. When we were dating in college, we were apart for six months where she was in Panama and I was in England.

See, Dan, this is how you lean into being rich. I was studying abroad in England and people would pass me and sometimes they would have the same shampoo as her. And I could smell it just in like their wake. And I would that would affect me because that olfactory sense is so strong and tied to memory and so I would turn and look without even thinking about it but that's the closest I've ever gotten I don't understand perfume

I don't understand cologne I think that they're all big waste yeah do you not wear cologne at all? no really? no yeah okay you have a wedding tomorrow. Black tie optional. You don't wear cologne.

Hell no. No, no, no. Really? So what is your, what makes you smell good? Maybe I just don't. I think that, I mean, I've been complimented on my smell before, but this is going to sound this is not going to be a this is going to be an indictment of the women

who told me that. It was just pure sport deodorant. Old Spice deodorant. Old Spice? Old Spice pure sport. Sorry, go to fucking hell. Alright. Old Spice, cheer sport. That's sorry. Go to fucking hell. All right.

I think we're running towards the end of this podcast. Let's do another one. I need to track down all the social accounts. God, there's so many of them. But while I'm doing that, I'm jesus hold on one second uh there's a letter that soren gave me like physically mailed me a letter uh it says nothing except virgins are bad uh do you want to speak on that? It seemed very important to you. Do you want to explain why you said that?

That virgins are bad? Soren? You mailed it to me. Yep. I'd love to. Thanks for giving me a platform in which to expel this opinion. Virgins are bad, in my opinion, because... virgins are bad in my opinion because they

take away an opportunity from society to share in their bodies. Oh, crap. And that's selfish. But okay, listen, now let's just pretend I'm talking about virgin guys. Like it's not so bad anymore, right?

Right? Hello? Anyway, I gotta take a shower. Anyway, you can find Soren at Soren underscore LTD. You can find me at D-O-B underscore I-N-C. You can find our business daddy, Bacon, at MakeMeBaconPlease. That's M-A-K-E-M-E-B-A-C-O-N-B-L-S. You can email us, I guess, at Qqwithsorenanddaniel.com you can find us on twitter at qq underscore

sorenanddan you can find us on instagram at qq underscore with underscore soren underscore and and underscore daniel you can find soren on the internet I thought you passed out for a second

we also have a patreon that you can find Yeah. You know, on the internet generally. Oh, I thought you passed out for a second. We also have a Patreon that you can find. Bacon, hit him. What's the Patreon? Patreon backslash quick question. Great. Well, that's easy. And also, we had an ad this episode for Natasha Leggero and Motion Cachers.

Podcast, you should support that. for Garrett Leggero and motion cashers podcast. You should, uh, support that please. Good night, Dan. Yeah. Jesus fucking Christ.