Quick Question with Soren and Daniel - The White Lotus Experience

Episode Date: December 16, 2022

The guys talk about vacationing in tropical locales and how best to pretend that you're relaxing so people don't come up to you and tell you to relax.  And as always big thanks to our sponsors. Thanks RocketMoney.com/qq.  it could save you hundreds a year.

I've got a quick, quick question for you, alright? I wanna hear your thoughts, wanna know what's on your mind I've got a quick, quick question for you, alright? The answer's not important, I'm just glad that we could talk tonight So what's your favourite? Who did you get? What do I be? What's it up to? Where did all that go?? Oh, forget it. Saw a movie, Daniel O'Brien.

Two best friends and comedy writers. If there's an answer, they're gonna find it. I think you'll have a great time here. I think you'll have a great time here. So, hello again and welcome to another episode of Quick Question with Soren and Daniel, a podcast where two best friends, comedy writers, ask each other questions, give each other answers. Hey, folks. I'm Daniel.

You'll have to forgive me. I'm still on island time, and this is how I'm going to be for the rest of this and perhaps every episode we do. Joined with me, as always, is my mainland buddy, Soren Bui. Soren, say whatever you feel. I hate this.

I hate this. It's so slow. And it does actually remind me of being in Hawaii where I was just like frustrated with service there in general where I was like, none of you fuckers give a... You don't care. You don't care out here. So I just got back from Turks and Caicos in the Caribbean,

which is wonderful. I don't, it really takes me a while to unwind on a vacation. So I, this is all a front. I'm not really on island time. I was only there for four nights, which is enough time to be told by resort staff that i need to relax multiple times and uh one of them saw me and asked if i needed help finding the library so i don't i'm not quite on island time yet i had very much daniel vibes on this island while still having tremendous amounts of fun. But I would say even more so than Hawaii, it's really true that no one

cares about getting on time to anything there. All the way down to being at a restaurant and they're like, oh, that's what you'd like? All right, I'll be ready in about an hour and a half maybe. And yours will be ready in 45 minutes. Enjoy. Thanks to Rocket Money for supporting our podcast. What's Rocket Money? You've heard us talk about Truebill before, lowering your bills, canceling subscriptions, and more. Well, Truebill has changed its name to Rocket Money. So start canceling your unused subscriptions and save money at rocketmoney.com slash QQ. There's some parts of that energy that i found really freeing because it's so different from what i'm used to and i also never really needed to be anywhere on my own self the

point of the trip was to relax and snorkel and swim and like enjoy the beach um but there was one night where i went to a restaurant and i needed a cab and the cab driver dropped me off at the restaurant. Nice guy, George. He was talking to me the whole time. And then, uh, when I got to the restaurant and he was like, you're gonna need right up, you're gonna need a ride back at some point. Right. I was like, yeah. All right. Just when you're ready, tell them at the, at the restaurant that you need George and 15 minutes, I'll be here. I was like, oh, okay, that works. He was like, yeah. And then I was reaching for money and he says,

no, no, no, no, no. I'll get that later. Get that when I drive you home. And it all worked true to form. Like I told the restaurant I needed George and they're like, yeah, he'll be here. You know, whatever he's done doing, whatever the fuck he's doing on the island.

And he gets there and he drops me off at the hotel and my card wasn't working for his card reader uh to pay him for both of these trips now and he just goes sorry you're still staying at the hotel tomorrow like yeah like i'll see you tomorrow and then he just left and then i found him tomorrow when i had cash you're just like sitting in the hotel lobby at one point i was like oh george hey do you remember and i owe owe you money? Here it is. He's like, oh, thanks, man. And then he just, I don't know, just went about the rest of his day. All of the cabs there were very fun and novel to me because you would share them with strangers

who are going to your same destination. Like there's a big fish fry on Thursday night, which is a big like crafts and food event with live music and I Sprinted up to the hotel and I was like I'd like to go to the fish fry and they're like yeah Those two people over there want to go to Three of you all go in a cab together. I was like alright, but I also need to get cash first like alright Yeah, tell the cab driver to take you to the store. I was like this is so casual. I'm so take you to the store. I was like, this is so casual. I'm so happy to enjoy this now. And so grateful that I don't have to rely on this kind of service in my real normal life.

When you have anything you need to be, when you're time crunched and nobody else seems to be doing their best to service you as quickly as possible, you freak out. Because there's certainly a reality where i don't need to go to the store and some other people in the cab do and like no i am prepared i should not have to be delayed because these people got here four hours and going don't know how anything works no i don't i'm pretty geographically ignorant uh turks and caicos is that it is we're talking about a group of islands, right? And is one of them called Turks or a couple of them called Turks and a couple of

them called Caicos? Or is it the whole area is called Turks and Caicos? I think the whole area is called Turks and Caicos. I looked up what it meant at some point and understood it. There's an and in the name of their islands. The popular story is the name Turks being derived after the indigenous Turks head, Fez cactus. And the name Caicos is a term meaning string of islands. Man, I thought that story was cooler. Terry, so it's cactus and some islands is the name of the islands? Yeah.

Okay. I feel like it's Cactus and Some Islands is the name of the islands? Yeah. Okay. I feel like it's one of those things. It feels like Caicos is doing most of the work in that name. Yes. Now, it's one of those places that I've heard talked about a lot, but I also never really was sure if it was a place or if it was a drink. Because it has that same sort of feel to me as like Aperol or Imperativo, where I'm like, I don't know.

It's like, that could be a place in Italy. It could be like near Sicily or it could be a Greek island or it could be a drink. I just had no idea. It's in the Caribbean and it's great. And there are like multiple islands that you can hop to.

I was on one of the mainer ones, Providencials, and took a boat ride to to like this little this tiny island that was just full of iguanas it's awesome whoa and that's very cool yeah it's i'd actually because you said you'd heard of it before this is one of those places uh that that a phenomenon that comes up in my life every once in a while where i would go my entire life not hearing about something and then one person would mention the thing and then a dam breaks and this was like two years ago when a co-worker mentioned turks and cacos and i was

like i've never heard of that that sounds made up i didn't think we were still making new islands and then since this one person said it there was that was the watershed moment and then suddenly it's coming up across like different friend groups and family members. And it just seemed like there's something in the air that now I am ready to hear this island. So I'm going to hear it

10 times a fucking week. Yeah. It does seem like that explosion generally happens like all at once. Like there's just something in the air. Yeah. So I know that you've watched White Lotus I just finished the first season of it uh-huh

were you hypersensitive to your your own being in this place based on that watching that show could you elaborate on that you're asking me I think if I felt bad yeah this other Bahamas in general but Turks and Caicos if I felt bad. Yeah, so the Bahamas in general, but Turks and Caicos, if I'm looking it up, I want to be sure that I'm right here. Yeah, this is a colony. This is a British colony. Their flag has a little bit of the British flag in it.

This is clearly like a colonization situation. And there was probably, this island was taken at some point. And now white people come to sit on the beaches and are served by the people who they took it from, right? Is that... I'm not trying to be like... I'm not coming up...

No, no, no. I'm not trying to be mean to you. No, I think that's going to be in my head for every vacation that I ever take for the rest of my life because of White Lotus and just like learning... Read anything about Hawaii before White Lotus came out. And it's very clear that it's, we've done some bad shit there.

And it's a very privileged tightrope to walk where I will have the conversation with myself where it's like, yes, I feel really bad about the history here i'm also completely aware that this is a service-based economy that i am uh contributing to in a way that like i don't i don't know if it's if i'm supposed to feel bad about that or if i'm supposed to think like well this is this is you know jobs jobs exist here because people keep coming to this island for this exact thing that I'm doing. So, like, I guess the most altruistic solution is to send the money that I would have spent directly to the island and just not go.

I don't know. It's tough. Certainly the show never comes up with answers either. mean the show's never like here's the real solution it's just like well i don't i don't know it's a situation all around moral calculus that i i i certainly struggled with and we're just like i'm gonna i don't know i'll i'll tip really well and i'll leave good reviews and i i have to just hope that that is the better thing to do than nothing. Yeah, I agree. I mean, like watching that show, I was a little bit mad because I was like, first of all, this is Mike White's like upbringing.

Mike White went to Hawaii all the time as a kid. And now he's going to shit on it. And like that experience, which probably was formidable for him. I also all of my memories from childhood in which like we did something very big where the family saved and saved and we went somewhere that was like this. Or, you know, I'll get into where I lived as well. But it was like formative and it was seminal for me. And I was like, I wouldn't trade those experiences for anything.

But I also grew up in a place in Aspen where, as I can distinctly remember as a kid, being at, I can't remember why I even went. There was like a town hall meeting and they were talking about tourism and people were mad about certain tourists and people were trying to, somebody was on stage trying to remind everyone like, this is what our economy is based on. Like, none of you have jobs without this. And then somebody got up, a native, a Navajo person got up and spoke and was like,

this is none of your land. Like, shut up. And I was like, oh. Man, what an excellent ace up the sleeve to just to read in the paper. Oh, they're going to talk about the tourism. They're going to talk about the unwanted visitors. Yeah, I'll stop by. I think I got some.

I think I can contribute. Yeah. And as a kid, like being so my face just flushing and being so embarrassed that it didn't even occur to me that I was like, yeah, I'm a native. like we all call it like an aspen like there's the natives like they're the people with the zg license plates who have been there forever they call we have the audacity to call ourselves fucking natives and mad at tourists for coming in and ruining it i do feel like because i've i read an interview with uh there's a great uh vulture piece with mike white that came out after that season that you absolutely have to read you soren and then we'll link it for

the audience too it's a it's a long conversation and it's he's incredibly honest uh in and aware of the criticisms that people made about how like we we we don't really hear from native people in that show and he is just like yeah i know i i it seems like he's really channeled a lot of his own frustrations and feelings into the steve zahn character of like yeah i agree this is bad but i i also love it and i don't i don't know what i what i'm supposed to do. And I made this show to sort of like have this open-ended conversation in a dramatic fashion because I am aware that it's bad.

I also came here, fell in love with it and bought property here. So now I live here and it is complicated. Here's my show about it. The show doesn't have an answer either. And- Yeah. I mean, it's a great show.

I'd give it the, it's amazing. And I'm sorry that I didn't get to it sooner, but it is, watching it, I was like, well, fuck man. I don't feel great about going anywhere anymore. Yeah. Season two is airing currently and in my group chat I asked them all

on Monday morning if they were caught up with it and everyone to a person was like, are you watching White Lotus on your vacation? Like yeah, yeah. I'm still me. I'm still me. I'll wake up in my hotel room and watch the show about those awful people on vacation i do have some more questions for you about it dude it looks just so idyllic and gorgeous and

yeah the water so like even this time of year is the water temperature perfect it's perfect it's absolutely perfect it was uh between like 78 and 88 degrees every day and the water was clear and perfect and swimmable. I never felt too... It rained once or twice a day for a short period of time in the way that that just happens. got like humid after that and it was uh a blast i recommend it unless i uh shouldn't recommend it um it was very different kind of vacation for me by design i'm usually really go go go in my vacations and just like we're gonna we're gonna hit a bunch of spots in costa rica we're gonna we're gonna see the waterfalls. We're going to see this thing. We're going to take a cooking class. We're going to, you know, yada, yada, yada, everything. We're going to get up early and we're going to go. And this one was sort of forcing myself to just like, take a break, take some breaths and sit on a beach. And it's okay if

the plan is just go to the beach and swim every day and eat good food. And, you know, an excursion here or there. I did go snorkeling and I did... Nope, that's it. I just snorkeled. That was the one excursion. My fishing trip was canceled because of the very casual nature of this place where I booked it. And it stopped existing after you booked it.

They called me at like six in the morning the day of the trip and they were like yeah the the the guy who does the trips he's not well I was like oh okay oh so can I go tomorrow like no maybe Tuesday I was like oh no I that's like several days after I I've left okay I guess just I'll take money back, please. With snorkeling, did you see anything you'd never seen before or is it just? That's more fish. I mean, it's always cool to see fish and like the reef and we saw a big ass turtle and that's always like really. Cool. I don't know why it's weirdly moving to me to see really big sea turtles, but it is. Yeah. They're majestic.

I think so. Yeah. They're so old and slow and so, in my mind, thoughtful and wise. Yeah. It does seem that way. They travel at the speed of Turks and Caicos. Yeah, for sure. And sometimes like a current will, you'll see them like get hooked into a current and they're like, whatever. Yeah. I'll go this direction. They have such stoic faces that it tricks me. I know they're just thinking

dumb turtle shit all the time. But in my mind, they've got it all figured out. Even though I'm sure if I listened in on their imaginations, it would just be like, I mean, a turtle sucks. I'm so slow and weird. You didn't happen to see any of the fish that, as you said,

quote, fly so dumb, did you? No, I didn't see any seahorses. Okay, that's what those were? I couldn't remember. I think it was seahorses, yeah. Why they fly so dumb? That was seahorses. Yeah, because true story, they fly real dumb. No, they fly real dumb. Why you fly so dumb? That was seahorses. Because true story, they fly real dumb. No, they fly real dumb.

Why do you fly so dumb? We got drunk and went to a Chicago aquarium, which was the best decision we ever made. Dan sat there for a long time staring at what I assumed were just like... They look like lawn darts in the water. I don't know what they were, but it wasn't

your usual left to right movements that you would expect from any sort of animal in the world. It's like nose is always pointed directly down and all this thing did was just bob up and down. Yeah. He was right to ask is what I'm saying. They were, they were flying really dumb and it seemed like no one was asking that question.

The fish did not answer. I mean, the audacity. I read the little plaque on the side of the thing and it didn't say anything about why they fly so dumb. No, I remember nothing about even their names. It would surprise you to know that 80% of people have subscriptions that they forgot about. It shouldn't. In fact, you're probably thinking right now, oh, I got to get rid of that subscription. Oh, and that one and that one. Oh, and did I ever sign up for that when I was at the grocery store and they had the clipboard? Is that a thing that I put my email

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Did you drink at a bar by yourself at all while you were there? I got, there's like an island. There's like a tiki bar thing on the beach and so i got the the the rum punch uh my second last day there after my my morning run just be like i'm gonna like be like like a person on on vacation and i'm gonna get the drink that they tell me to get when i'm here and it's gonna be overpriced and it's going to be touristy and i just i'm going to read my book and and sip my my rum punch but not like was it not like go to a it's a thing where i could take it and then sit in a beach chair anywhere you want yeah get a post up at a bar on vacation i've only ever traveled alone once before and uh i did it for like a month and while

i was doing it i mean in theory i, oh, and I will meet people at bars and stuff like that. And then in practice, I was like, I'm not going to go to a bar by myself in a foreign country. I'm not insane. Like, that's an insane thing to do. While I'm there, just the idea of going somewhere and drinking alone was too much for me to bear.

I was like, this isn't a thing I can do. I did when I was sitting on the beach, because again, the little bar is right on the beach where the resort is. And I overheard people meeting and talking to each other, which I recognize is a thing to do on vacation, but I just didn't have it in me today or this trip. I was like, no, I'm going to spend some time writing and reading and being in my head and thinking my thoughts and it's it really felt like i was being tested because i could hear the people behind me meeting and talking and one of them was like where are you from the guy said jersey oh whereabouts in jersey i know

jersey really well i live here for a little while because i went to rutgers and i sat there thinking not taking this fucking bait guys nice try yeah no way i'm from france yeah i mean that theoretically if i was to go and drink somewhere and meet people i think that sounds great but there's the risk is so high that you would go somewhere and drink and that doesn't happen and then you're drunk alone yeah yeah and that and then you're like okay i guess i'm i'm gonna go back to my room and be drunk alone for a while. Yeah.

That's the other, the weird thing about getting super drunk on vacation, which don't get me wrong, I've certainly done in the past, but now I'm at this age and you're spending money on a vacation where it's just like, what if I get so drunk that like now I'm hung over the next day or that I just like go to to sleep at 8 30 or something nuts like that works like i'm you didn't get on a plane and and get your passport stamped just so you can be drunk on your porch you know yes and then you've got like the next day you feel like such if you're hung over at all you you're like, I'm wasting this. Yeah.

I'm wasting this trip. That's the thing. This is not too spoilery about White Lotus season two, but just skip ahead if you're watching that now and don't want to be spoiled at all. People drink on that show a lot. They're on vacation in Sicily and they drink and one night drink too much and party and then the next day one of the guys is throwing up and I'd be like how are you not more mad at yourself how is this like like I would be kicking myself or

or I don't know what that that you know this is you're on vacation you're in fucking Italy man yeah yeah there's in the first season weight loss Steve's on learns that his dad had a secret life and then goes on a bender and just stays at the bar the whole day and drinks and then burns the next day being hungover. And I'm like, that's two days of your trip. That's so much money. But then I'm like, well, what is the trip? Because every single night they go to the same restaurant, they don't leave the resort. And I'm like, okay, now I need to like in my own head qualify what

is a trip? What is a vacation? Is this okay? Is this legit? It might be okay. I mean, not every, like, maybe you don't drink ever in your day-to-day life. And so it's like part of a vacation to you is the freedom to not have to go anywhere or do anything or be presentable. And like being hung over in a resort is part of the charm for you. I feel bad if I sleep in on vacation because I'm here and there's stuff to look at. And it was just so much money. Yeah.

That's always my thing. It's part of the reason why I think when I was young and I would be in Colorado, I'd see people come from Texas with their families and be on vacation. Everyone was yelling at their kids. Everybody looked miserable all the time. And as an adult now, I'm real and a parent. I'm like, oh, no, I get it. On vacation, you have this idea of what it should be and like how it should go.

And when it's not that or your kids and you feel like your kids are squandering it in any capacity, you're immediately emb kids are squandering it in any capacity, you're immediately embittered toward them. You're like mad at them. A friend of ours just sent a video to me and some other friends yesterday morning. This is so conveniently timed for this conversation. And it's very early in the morning as she is filming her two daughters. And she's like, all right right follow the trail on the ground what do you what do you see and it's like pictures of mickey mouse like just follow the trail of mickeys follow the trail of mickeys into the kitchen and the kids are like rubbing their eyes and following

this trail of mickeys and they get to the kitchen where the parents have staged suitcases and like new disney outfits all packed and ready to go and like guess where we're going right now and one of those disney mom goes yeah and she sits down on the ground and says why oh that's great she does i there's like It's like a four or five year old kid. And I'm sure she's very happy in Disney now. But it's I don't I don't yet have the parental instinct in me to to roll with that. If I had gone to the trouble to arrange a secret Disney vacation and a kid said, why? I'd be like, well, good news. You don't have to fucking go.

We'll take your sister. She's not asking dumb questions. I can't tell you how many times I have gotten something for my children that I'm excited to give them. Just a surprise. Not for anything in particular. And they get home from school or whatever, and my son, who's seven, I'll show him and I'll be like, look what I got you. Look what I got you in Gilly. And he's at first pumped, and then I watch. It doesn't take long at all.

And he's at first pumped. And then I watch. It doesn't take long at all. It's like 15 seconds where he looks at his and then he looks at hers. And then he's got this time to think about which one he likes better. And like, maybe I want hers. Like he starts to, I watch the conniving start to happen. Their gratefulness lasts for such a shade of a moment that then it turns to like greed.

And it's, and I watch him. And then occasionally I'll be like, if it's something like a treat, then I watch him finish his and look at hers and be like, or I could have two. And like, you can see the wheels spinning on how he can talk me into getting gillies as well. And I'm just so mad every time that I'm like, I'm never doing another nice thing for you.

Remember what happened? Remember at the time before this moment where you didn't even know these things existed. Think of how much better this is. Think about the surprise. When you saw that, it was new to your world. Like you did not, this was not yours and now it's yours. Stop trying to get more. It's a hard lesson to instill in him. And really, I'm not even instilling anything because that desire never goes away. It's just you need to teach your child how to hide it, which is a weird thing to ask of them. Yeah, don't worry. I also want more of everything, especially new things that I just learned about all the time. But you can't wear that on your

face at Christmas. You're not allowed. Yeah, you don't understand. I ate six Fira Rochers earlier. I know what it's like. Do you have any more? You want to get into our show? Yeah, should we do the show? Yeah, let's do the show. I have a quick question for you. Go.

It's the holiday season right now. I assume this is airing when it's still the holiday season right now. I assume. Ba-da-da-da-da-da. I assume this is airing when it's still the holiday season. And I wanted to ask you, Dan, you specifically. Oh, shit. Because my answer. This question's for me? Yeah, because my answer has to do with you. I want to know Christmas traditions that you came to late in life,

but that you absolutely will steal for your family. Like stuff that your family didn't do, but then you hear about it later and you're like, oh man, that is such a good idea. A good example for not Christmas is that Halloween, someone told us about the switch, which was not a thing I'd ever heard of. And I was loathing the idea that my son would be collecting five blocks worth of candy and then eating it until February. And so then someone was like, no, you do the switch, which, which basically means you let the kid keep like five pieces of candy.

And then the rest of it, they put in a bag and offer up as an offering to the switch, which, and the switch, which comes in the night, takes the candy and replaces it with a toy of some sort. And the kids psyched because they get a toy. You're not letting them eat all the candy. In fact, you're probably eating it all. And then they get, they still get like five pieces or whatever and it was a such a cool idea that i was like yes immediately implementing that um man but my parents tried to pull that shit on me me and my brothers would have we would have killed them we would have killed them dead with bricks we had bricks in the garage we would have killed we got this idea we're gonna you're only allowed to have five of that candy that you worked so hard to get like now you're you're we're on the news now

because you're dead because we killed our parents. So we're the Menendez brothers. Yeah, the new worst, scarier Menendez brothers. I think if you just start early enough, it's okay. Like, there's one that I wanted that I just thought of this year, and I was like, fuck, it would have been really great if I had come up with this sooner. And it's a way to make Santa last a little bit longer. And maybe I can still try and pull it off with Gilly, but you don't let your children ask Santa for anything. You tell them Santa brings something he knows you're going to like.

You can ask us for presents, but Santa, Santa is not somebody you don't, there's no like direct line to Santa. Nobody has a direct line to him. That way, you get your kids whatever you want, and then you get your, from Santa, they get something that, obviously, you know they're going to enjoy because you know exactly what they're into, but that doesn't have, like, the boxy plastic feel of something bought at the store.

So it's a little more believable that this is cooked up in a workshop in the North Pole. Oh. Like a train set or something like that, that they are going to be psyched about, but that you wouldn't walk into Target and see. And then you get to like, you're never under the gun. You never have that situation where they're like, well, I'm going to ask Santa for a puppy. And you're like, well, Santa does deliver for kids. And I didn't think of it until this year. And was like okay as soon as he knows that santa isn't real i'm gonna try and pull this off with my daughter

yeah it seems like the hardest thing it seems like a difficult thing to pull off because santa and christmas lore becomes such a big part like, like you talk to your friends about it. You talk to your peers in school about what you're asking for Santa. And if the rest of the town isn't on the same page, then your kids are gonna come home and be very confused. Yeah, what the fuck? Yeah.

Jesse Barley says his mom talks to Santa every year. What's going on here don't make names like that anymore huh nope not anymore um was jesse barley from your actual past yeah that's a real one yeah that's a that is a good one that's so clearly a real one um has the authenticity of the early 80s i love it no uh I, I think you're right, but I think that there's like a nice medium because that was the thing that never jive for me was that we get stuff and we'd like, we'd get our stockings and there'd be like, I don't know why my parents did this,

but there'd be like two, two packages of double A batteries in your stocking. And you'd be like, Oh cool. Wait, what the fuck? Santa brought me batteries. Why are they wrapped like Duracells?

Like what, what's going on here? Or when we get the Nintendo. Santa got me batteries? Why are they wrapped like Duracells? Like, what's going on here? Or when we get a Nintendo or something. Santa got me deodorant again. Yeah. We're like, so Santa, tell me again, how did Santa make this Sega Genesis? Like, what? The packaging and everything.

I mean, there's even stickers on it that say Walmart. Yeah. It's so funny because you're very hung up on the mythology that that the things were constructed in santa's workshop when that's that was like pretty easily discarded by us i don't even know like obviously we see it in movies and everything but i think our parents were like yeah he's got a workshop and he can make anything he can make literally anything he can make nintendos in the workshop he can make clothes that fit you in the workshop.

And that's fine. That is question. Then it should be, it should be arriving in like a burlap sack and not wrapped up. Shouldn't even have like plastic over their controllers or like those little twisty ties over the wires or anything. Like it feels like the authenticity was missing for me always. And so, and I think maybe that was like the first clues that I had.

You were looking for flaws in the design of the Sega Genesis that would prove that it was made by tiny hands with chisels Yeah, where? Show me where this was chiseled point to the flaws point to those points so I'm going to try that with her but I have a different one that is one that I have implemented since I've had kids

and knew I was going to even before I had kids and it's one that I stole from you. Really? Yeah. Is it's a Christmas tradition that I told you about? No, I watched you doing it. What?

Yeah. I saw you when you were sleeping. It was, it's one where I remember there was a remember when we first started hanging out, so years ago, I can't remember where we were, maybe in the parking garage at work. You pulled up and you opened the door to your car and just like Winter Wonderland or some ancient Christmas songs was pouring out of your car. Oh, hell yeah. And I was like, are you listening to Christmas music by yourself? You're like, yeah,

this time of year from Thanksgiving to Christmas, it's exclusively Christmas music. That's all I listen to in the car, at home, anywhere. And I was like, oh, okay. That's all right. Because I always thought, no no you just hear christmas music when it's on at stores or like as you're walking around like that's the only place christmas music exists it didn't even occur to me that i was allowed to just go out and make my own christmas list and listen to christmas music when i wanted to and so yeah you had it dialed in on your stations your terrestrial radio and everything and so so after that, I was like, you know what? That does sound kind of nice.

Like it feels like you really get into the mood. And certainly with children, it's great. It's great that as soon as Thanksgiving happens, the next day we're setting up the tree, we're drinking cider. And this family is like balls deep in Christmas already. Like we are getting the lights up and we listen to Christmas music in the car every day. We listen to Christmas music at night when I'm making dinner. We are a Christmas family. Despite the fact that I don't think my kids, certainly my daughter doesn't,

I don't think my son even knows the story of the nativity. I should give him that at some point. Give him some context. I don't think it's going to make anything. It's not going to make any of the other behavior that you all do the rest of the year. Any the rest of the season, any clearer though. It's not like, no,

no. So let me sit you down and, and, and give you the point a of, of why we get a tree and decorate it and put milk and cookies out. So the son of God made man. It is. It will fill in some holes for him with some of the song lyrics, though.

Like, oh, holy night. I can tell already there's a lot of confusion. Sure. Where he's like, what's a manger? I'm like, oh, it's like a barn. He's like, and the savior? What's a savior? Oh, it's a person who saves the earth.

What? So this is about that birth. The baby in this song, does he grow up to be Santa? No, no, no. He grows up to. I see why you think that. No. He'll come up again.

When we talk about Easter later in the year, you'll find out how his arc resolved. Yeah. So he was born on Christmas? You know, honestly, probably not. We just sort of landed on that day. It felt like a good one. I think maybe there was already a holiday there

and we were trying to squash it. Yeah. And it's so like dark and cold that time of year, you know? Days are the shortest. You need something to look forward to. But yeah, now we listen to Christmas music and it made me actually seek out better Christmas music because now, because I've been doing this for seven years, I'm pretty fucking

sick of most Christmas music. All the old stuff is really, it becomes very grating after about a week, but there is newer stuff and there's stuff that's been produced like over the last 20 years that I'm like, you know what? I actually really like this Christmas song. And so new stuff gets thrown into the rotation and I genuinely like Christmas music. Yeah. It's touching that you've adopted this tradition. I like it about myself. I like that I was doing that publicly for years.

I don't do it as much anymore. I still like Thanksgiving hits and I still know the station out here in Jersey that plays 24 hour Christmas music, but I was like committed to it for years. I would listen to the stations. I would put on Pandora Christmas music at the my at work and at home and like would grit my teeth through the songs I didn't like because I was like this is the tradition this is what we're doing to get us to full of the Christmas spirit and now 36 years old that fucking fleece Navidad comes on and it's no thank you we're going we're going straight back straight back to lithium to see what

else is on yeah the Paul McCartney Christmas song, Yeah. It's Christmas time is as soon as I hear those like opening like sprawlings. Yeah. I'm like, oh, this is I can't believe this is even a song. Anyone would dare to play this in a public place. It's so bad that I will sort of sit there and just sort of bear those and occasionally skip through the ones that are really rough, but yeah, I understand what you're saying is since I've been doing it, the Christmas songs, I'm like, okay, we're, you know, I'm still, it's been a whole year and I'm still not feeling winter wonderland. I didn't, uh, I didn't listen at all when I was on the Island.

Cause it's a very, it's even stranger than Los Angeles, obviously, where I'm seeing like a Christmas tree set up in the town square and I'm seeing decorations. It was like, no, no, no, guys. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, I constantly think of myself as being in that Corona commercial, and you know exactly the one where I'll be like, okay, well, I guess they're allowed to have it. Feeling very magnanimous that I'm giving them Christmas. Do you have any traditions that you stole or that you want to steal? Yeah. I think last year was the first year that one of my cousins suggested doing White Elephant Christmas.

For years we had done like aunts, uncles would get presents for all the, every niece and nephew got a present from grandma, grandpa, and the aunts and uncles on Christmas Eve. This is when I was one of the kids. This is what happened. It was, he just got like this pile of presents from aunts and uncles and grandma and grandpa. And it was very fun. And we, when as kids, we got a little bit older, we also started drawing names out of hats to get presents for aunts and uncles. And, uh, there's a, get presents for aunts and uncles and uh there's a there's a a pretty dark period in that in the beginning it's like here's something handmade for you aunt patty do you like it or like i i used my

parents money to get you a christmas ornament and it's very cute and then on the other side of that line uh towards the end of the of the process, you're older and you know your aunts and uncles pretty well. You can get them thoughtful gifts. There's a period in the middle there where it's like, all right, fuck, I'm 17 years old. What are aunts like? What are they into now? It seems all my aunts and uncles are mostly just like doing their own shit. I don't know.

I'm not going to get them an ornament. That sucks. Does he like... You also don't know i'm not gonna get them an ornament that sucks does he like you also don't know what's good when you're there's uncle michael do you think he would like the matrix why i'm so in the dark here does he watch movies okay laurie i got you a pair of silver earrings from claire's boutique that will turn green the moment you wear them they will fuse to your ears if they're in your ear for too long. They have little peace symbols on them. Is that a thing you like?

That evolved into like everyone picks names out of a hat for everyone. And so like there was just one person assigned to one other person to get presents. And it still had a lot of the same holes of just like like if this isn't one of the cousins that i know then i guess it's just gonna be a nice gift certificate or a bottle of wine or that's that right and there was the last few years kind of feeling like this had stopped being uh a fun part of christ Christmas and became more like very transactional. And then last year, we did White Elephant for the first time where everyone gets one present

and you don't know who got what. You just pick something, you open it, and that's your present or someone can steal it from you. And it's a blast. I love doing it. We did it last year for the first time.

And I think that's going to be something that I bring to my own family as, as soon as possible. Like the, the kids, as soon as the kids can participate in that kind of thing, because there's, we did it with my family last year. And then a couple of years ago, I participated in my, my friend doing it for her family and it got so heated and personal it was fucking awesome watching this family like pretty seriously fight over these presents because there was like one relative who um was a successful and professional uh like glass and jewelry or ceramics and jewelry artist like he like he made very expensive gifts that's that that sold very well as his main business so you were always hoping you were going to get

one of his things and the year that i was there the the grandest of the grandmas managed to get his and got this really nice necklace and in my heart i'm thinking like this is the best case scenario this is justice the matriarch got the objectively best present that everyone was hoping to get uh this is good this is a good christmas justice and then they fucking stole it from her they're ruthless it's awesome they're they're really not pulling any punches and like this, this is, it's added a level of competition and chaos into a holiday that I thought had pretty much, I'd seen everything at this point. And I really enjoy, really enjoy this extra reality TV element to it.

Yeah. We do a White Elephant with Colleen's extended family when we were in Tucson. And every single year, I love it. But the only trouble is that when you play with people of like varying ages, you have some of like a generation that is clearly not on your team. They're like these people who bring in, they will bring something that they think is nice, like a plate rack, like a thing for your wall that you can hang decorative plates on.

And if you get that you are so fucked because no one is taking that from you and now you own this thing like you're responsible for it after that and that's like it's such a a curse to be placed on you and they think they've done a great thing they're like oh everyone's gonna love the plate rack one year we got a piece of stained glass i was like i don't even know. What do I even do with this? What can I possibly do? I don't see a place to even hang from it. Like, man, I don't even know what to do with it. Yeah. And then it'll always happen where the older relatives, the ones who got it are like, oh yes, we just love ours. Like, all right, well,

you have such different needs. Yeah. And there's clearly a great strategy to white elephant like if you get a low number versus a high number there's completely different strategy to employ and i love strategy games um i have one more dan that is it was a tradition for me growing up i assumed it was for everybody and i realized late in life that it wasn't and i want to pass it on to you and to our listeners because i think it's so great um we get stockings just like i think most people do usually what happens is people hang their stockings over a fireplace or whatever you have uh and then santa comes in the night in addition to leaving presents occasionally like santa leaves some nice little things in a stocking for you as well, right?

Is that pretty much the tradition? Okay. Well, the way it worked in my family was that not only would he leave it in the stocking, some fruit and stuff like that in a stocking, but he would sneak into your room and place the stocking at the foot of your bed. Yeah. And so that way, when you wake up in the morning, you have something on your own to open because it was a big deal that we didn't all go downstairs to the living room one by

one. We weren't going off at various times. We had to stay upstairs. My dad would go downstairs. He would put a fire in the stove that we had. Oh, good. Yeah. God.

And he would put us in. Put a in whichever kid santa was mad at that year and then we would shoot like we like well how do we go down the stairs last year oh we went oldest to youngest okay well this year let's go like smallest to biggest or whatever it was then we'd all go down the stairs together um but you you buy yourself so much extra time as a parent by putting this stocking in the room, as opposed to them coming downstairs and just like opening this thing with everybody else. They've got their own private thing.

They open, it's got like maybe a highlights magazine in it or something like that as well. And they've got their own shit to go through and they leave you alone for like another 45 minutes to an hour after they wake up. Cause kids never wake up at like eight on a Christmas morning. That's no morning that's no that's a fool's dream uh they wake up at 5 30 every single time yeah and then you've got you you only way to buy yourself some reprieve is to just like throw some gifts in there at them and and hold the hope that that ties them over yeah that's a very smart strategy we would not them over yeah that's a very smart strategy we would not our parents were had strict rules that we weren't allowed to uh wake them up to get christmas started we also weren't allowed to like

i couldn't i couldn't get up and go by myself all three of the brothers had to go at the same time and yeah uh they would come and and get us when it time. So like we could get up at four or five in the morning, but if the rule was eight or the rule was nine, then that's just it. And if you violated the rule, Christmas was canceled. So what happened instead is the three brothers would wake up at four in the morning and then just get in one bed together

and just like shake with excitement. Yeah, we, I mean, so I lived in a log cabin, And just like shake with excitement. Yeah. We, I mean, so I lived in a log cabin, so everything was kind of on top of itself. Like it's a very small space. And one thing you can do is if you go out onto the, like the landing between the two bedrooms on the second floor, you can kind of like peek down the stairs and through a little entryway into the living room and try and get like, it's like a corner glimpse of even a gift. So like, you'd be like, I can remember my brother and I laying flat on the ground, trying to like see something and him being like, I think, I think there's a sled.

That's getting so pumped, getting so excited and doing it for, you know, half an hour. Cause there's nothing else to do except open our batteries and dried fruit. Of course. But yeah, now I do that with my children. I bring it in. I sneak it in the middle of the night, drop it off because they sleep like logs. And then in the morning, you can hear them kind of like unwrapping stuff

and talking to each other. And it's like, yes, yes. You will remember this. Keep it. That's always exciting. It's always fun to hear about somebody else's tradition too that that they seem it that they feel as normal they're like oh yeah you get up in the morning you do the the christmas scavenger hunt i'm like what's up now yeah i'm sorry what

what have you been doing my whole life that the that i'm just now finding out yeah people who tell me like oh yeah i would wake up so early and I would go down and open all my presents. I was like, you fucking what? Yeah. That's heresy. You can't just go without anyone and open the presents. No.

That's crazy. Your parents have to be there and watch you and they have to be really tired. No one knows why, but they're just exhausted. That's part of it. They're so sleepy. Yeah. I've heard other people who they would go downstairs. They would be able to see all of the gifts, but they weren't allowed to touch them until

breakfast was ready. The whole family would sit there and eat breakfast, and then you're allowed to go open. And I was like, no, no, that's crazy too. That's crazy in the other direction. That's torment to the children. A thing that I didn't realize until recently that we did seems in hindsight impossible, because now these years for church, we'll usually go to midnight mass the day before Christmas. Yeah, we'll just go to midnight mass and get our church in that way.

But for years growing up, we wake up Christmas day, run to the living room, find our presents, get very excited, open some of them. And then at some point, our parents have to be like,

all right, time to get ready for church. Time to leave this pile of new presents and do wink, wink. We know your least favorite thing that you do in your life is to get dressed up and sit at church

and listen to the man talk and it's even worse this time because you know what the story is going to be there's not even any chance that it's going to be fun

and like we just did it we didn't we didn't fight back because it's what we did but in hindsight I'm like man how did you guys

pull that off? That's some real kill Paris with bricks situation if I ever heard one. Yeah. So that's a bloody hammer circumstance. Yeah. I mean, in my family, we'd also like, we weren't allowed to just go out and dig through the presents. It wasn't a free for all. It was everybody found a spot on a couch and then my dad who was the arbiter of gifts would come around and be like here's one two soren from santa let's see here's one two betsy from me and

like and then they're handed out and then you opened it up you displayed it to everybody like everybody's kind of like opening one present at the same time. Oh no, this was kind of clocking what everybody else is getting. And then you put it aside and then the gift things continue. And so sometimes like you're sitting there for five minutes where you're not getting a gift and you're sort of like watching other people open their gifts. But as a kid, I, I don't remember that mattering.

Like as a kid, I think it was just the excitement of the whole day and the excitement that other people were getting gifts too was very, and like sometimes they were things that I gave them. That was all so fun that I understand how they can get away with a midnight mask type of thing, where it's like the whole day you were never, you're never in your life prepared to have this many new things at once when you're that young. And it's like, you don't want to it up at all. You're like, whatever you want, I will do anything. I'll do anything. Yeah, that's right.

But I just, the ability to tell a kid who just got a Sega Genesis, all right, well, you can't open that yet. We have to go to church now. Put it down. Mother, you don't understand. As far as I know, I've wanted this my entire life. Since the beginning of time, as I understand it, I have wanted the Sega Genesis and now it's here. And now you want me to what? Put on those black dress socks? Absolutely not. Comb my hair? It's Sunday. Wool pants? Wool pants? Are you kidding me?

Why don't I wear a hair shirt there too? Would that make you happy? So Jack O'Brien told us also one that I really liked, and I thought I would implement it when I was younger, and then I realized it was just way too much work, which was that his dad on Thanksgiving would pull each of the kids aside, and he'd be like, I talked to Santa. Santa came by or sent a letter or something like that. I think it was generally that Santa physically dropped by

and was just asking about his kids and how they had been that year. And he just sort of like talks to the kids like, and you've been every single time you'd be like, you've been good. So I was telling him all that. And he dropped this off for you. And he would give them one gift on Thanksgiving. One Christmas gift, like get them get the pump primed of excitement. And each kid would get something on Thanksgiving and then like have the rest of the year to be like oh man santa loves me look he got me this gack like i can't wait i can't

wait for everything else i was like that's cool that's cool that your dad was the essentially the pope in the in the santa situation where he's like the only one with a voice to god uh but then i was like i don't know so much more lying than i'm comfortable uh but then i was like i don't know so much more lying than i'm comfortable with when do you start uh christmas shopping now for like nieces and nephews and family and stuff yeah i started two days after christmas i'm still after christmas that's bold two days after thanksgiving i started on sunday um saturday or sund, I can't remember which, but I started shopping immediately for stuff because I was also worried things would be backordered. Yes. I texted my brothers and sisters-in-law for lists for their kids the day after Halloween this

year. I started crazy early and I don't feel bad about it i did it last year too and it's just the best thing in the world to not be stressed running around at the last minute and and it's also fun to to to text people on halloween and be like you know what this means it's christmas christmas time um yeah and i i love buying christmas presents for kids i love buying presents for my kids i love buying presents for my nieces and nephews my parents i hate it it's like yeah it's gotten to the point where what we do is i will find stuff that i know my kids will like i'll buy it and then i will just send them a an email it'll be like hey here's what you got ronan here's what you got gilly here's where the here these were the prices and they'd be like, okay, we'll send you a check. Yeah. Great. I get it. I mean, for,

for some of my nieces and nephews, I get very specific, like this was on her list. We know she wants it. And I was like, good, this is a 13 year old girl. I'd be shooting in the dark. I, I want an exact link to an Amazon page and I will get that thing. I swear to God. But I also like the, what I contribute as uncle is one present, usually from the list, and then one book that I get some guidance on, but mostly try to figure out on my own because I like having a thing as an uncle.

And I feel pretty secure in my status as a likable uncle, so I don't mind taking the hit when I become the book uncle every Christmas. i know no one's super into it that's a that's a though but that's like a long-term investment that's an investment where the early on they'll like it then there's like this bell curve where they're like god fucking book uncle and then they'll really appreciate it later yes i think so that's a great idea maybe i'll steal that too yeah man do it I think so. That's a great idea.

Maybe I'll steal that too. Yeah, man, do it. But it can't be book uncle. Maybe I'll be... Condom uncle? Cool uncle. No, that's no good. Well, that about, speaking of Christmas, wraps it up.

Wraps it up. The show is Quick Question, but you knew that already. We are recorded, recorded edited and produced by the irreplaceable gabe harter our theme song is by the incredible me rex their digital album is available at me rex.bandcamp.com find us on twitter while you can i'm dlb underscore inc soren is soren underscore ltd the show is qq underscore soren and dan you can email the show qq with soren and dan Daniel at gmail.com with your Christmas lists.

We also have a Patreon that you can find by searching on the internet. Patreon slash quick question. Yeah, I'll write that down now. Here we go. Slash quick question. Okay. Oh, okay. Bye. I've got a quick, quick question for you, all right.

I want to hear your thoughts, want to know what's on your mind. I've got a quick, quick question for you, all right. The answer's not important, I'm just glad that we could talk tonight. So what's your favorite? Who do you doubt? When will I be remembered? I'm just glad that we could talk tonight. So what's your favorite?

Who do you doubt? When will I be remembered? I'm just glad that we could talk tonight. So what's your favorite? Who do you doubt? When will I be remembered? I'm just glad that we could talk tonight. So what's your favorite?

Who do you doubt? When will I be remembered? I'm just glad that we could talk tonight. So what's your favorite? Who do you doubt? When will I be remembered? I'm just glad that we could talk tonight So what's your favourite? Who did you get? When will I be? I don't remember What did I do?

Where did all that go? Did we talk? Oh, forget it I saw a movie, Daniel O'Brien Two best friends and comedy writers If there's an answer, they're gonna find it I think you'll have a great time here. I think you'll have a great time here.