Quick Question with Soren and Daniel - To Hike or Not to Hike
Episode Date: May 6, 2022Soren lets us in on some surprising news, and there's a birthday reveal, but is it the one you think it might be?? And as always big thanks to our sponsors. Go to Shopify.com/qq for a FREE fourteen-...day trial and get full access to Shopify’s entire suite of features. Go to CreditKarma.com or the Credit Karma app to find the card for you. Thanks Raycon!. For a limited time, go To buyraycon.com/qq for 15% off your entire Raycon order.
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I've got a quick, quick question for you, alright?
I wanna hear your thoughts, I wanna know what's on your mind
I've got a quick, quick question for you, alright?
The answer's not important, I'm just glad that we could talk tonight
So what's your favourite? Who did you get?
When do I be remembered?
What's it out there? Where did all the good things go?
Oh, forget it.
Saw a movie, Daniel O'Brien.
Two best friends and comedy writers.
If there's an answer, they're gonna find it.
I think you'll have a great time here.
I think you'll have a great time here. Hello and welcome back to Quick Question with Soren and Daniel, a show that, well, it's
already been described pretty well by the theme song, so I don't feel like we really
need to do it anymore.
I'm one half of this podcast, a writer for American Dad, a begrudging cat person, and
the pride of Culver City, Soren Bui.
And I'm joined by my Emmy Award winning co-host, writer for Last Week Tonight, and New Jersey's middleman, Daniel O'Brien.
Dan, you can speak.
I can speak. New Jersey's middleman.
Do you understand why I chose that?
Because New Jersey's already got a boss.
Oh, boy.
That's pretty good, man.
I like it.
I'm glad you told me why.
That's good stuff.
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How you doing?
I'm pretty good.
Yeah.
Like just talking about Jersey and things.
Stop talking now.
Okay.
Bringing up Jersey and me and talking about it is there's a town that I spent a bunch of time in growing up, Asbury Park, famous New Jersey town, also famous for boss related
reasons.
Asbury Park, famous New Jersey town, also famous for boss related reasons.
And there are some YouTube video that was called the rise and fall of Asbury Park.
And it had like 400 or 600,000 views and came out recently. And I was very curious about it because I love to learn fun facts about my home state.
And I was also immediately curious because Asbury park is is on the up again so i
was wondering why it's not rise fall and and rise again uh but i figured i'd give the video a uh
uh check out and it's that some authoritative seeming guy who's like i'm gonna tell you
everything that there that you need to know about asbury park located in mammoth county
right off the bat not how you pronounce the name of this county and
so i clicked away from the video i was like all right i'm gonna strap in for this 17 minute
explainer video mammoth county he might as well have said like new jowersy or something like that
and it wasn't how do you pronounce it mammoth m-o-n-m-o-u-t-h okay and he says mammoth yeah
it's a bit of a mouthful. Yeah.
Is it?
Yeah.
It's tough because mammoth is already a word that everyone's familiar with.
Yeah, and mammoth is close.
Yeah, but mammoth sounds like in the same way that Italians in New Jersey mispronounce Italian.
It sounds like maybe that's what happened in this circumstance.
All right, go on.
No, I stopped watching the video because he got there.
Oh, it was done.
You couldn't even sit through it.
No.
That's fair.
I mean, I don't, I'm particularly sensitive to that because I've been to places like New York and I'll tell people what I did that day in the city.
And I'm like, oh, and then I walked down Houston Street and they're like, stop, stop. It's Houston. Houston. I'm like oh and then I walk down Houston Street and they're like stop stop it's Houston
Houston I'm like
no
I understand
that that's how you guys all say
and that's how you delineate who is a local
and who isn't but come the
fuck on we all know there's a bigger Houston out there
you don't New York doesn't get everything
what else what else
what if we just started the show
that way like there's no plan at all
and then we're three minutes in and we're like
oh we gotta stretch this to
50 no it's got me it's
it's it's got me thinking
about our hometowns and maybe
we don't do this for this episode, but I'll tease a future episode.
Okay.
Well, first of all, I'm curious, because you famously attended high school in that woodsy sort of boundary-free commune from Midsommar.
Did they have like a notable alumni list there?
Is that how it's pronounced?
Speaking of pronunciation, Midsommar?
Yeah.
It's not Midsomer?
No.
I don't know.
I'm wrong a lot.
So when I watched that movie, I was like, oh, I got to see Midsomer.
Thinking that was like, oh, I'm just pronouncing it sort of Swedishly.
I don't know.
Does that movie have a titular moment where someone says what it is?
Oh, no, but boy, do i want it in there now
yeah uh summer truly was mid this was one of our worst midsommars like thank you
i don't think they do have it in there but now i'm very curious so sorry go on
that was the end of my question did did did the woodsy boundary free
midsommar colony where you went to
high school have a notable alumni
list?
No. Oliver Platt went there famously
and that was kind of it. Really?
Yes. That's pretty cool.
You know, it was very exciting while I was
there because that was the peak of his career.
This
brings me to my
quick question that is to my quick question
that is not the quick question from this episode
is
how much do you think
you could learn
about your hometown? Because I know enough to know
that you and I both have small
hometowns, like actual hometowns
we can claim whatever other
cities we've lived in as our
main places, but your childhood hometown
how much information do you think you could find out about it
i could fill i i could i could write an essay i could write like a six page essay all right
that's that's that's what i think i want to do i think a future episode let's each write
factual essays about our hometowns okay Okay. Is that a deal?
Yeah.
I will bring some very interesting information about my hometown.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We'll collect interesting information.
I don't know why I framed it as like, how much could you find?
And then I waited for you to give a reasonable answer.
Like how many units of information could you find?
One of the joys of living in a small town is that small towns are so in love with the smell of their own farts.
Like they love to, they're steeped in their own history and they like to know it and regale it at every opportunity.
So I'm pretty confident that I could get either in touch with somebody from my hometown who's of a generation too removed from me,
or i could
uh just like research it online because these people are also notoriously bad with computers
so that's why my first instinct was to go to the town i did like a like a brief dive into my
hometown a little while ago just just to scratch an itch and there and there's not a ton online
which which i sort of love about it.
Yeah.
I think I'm trying to think, I guess I could start with my parents and then move down.
I mean, Aspen obviously has like a really crazy history with Hunter S. Thompson and
trying to be mayor and stuff like that.
Also Ted Bundy escaping from the prison there.
But Carbondale, boy, I'll do a deep dive and see what i can find
yeah all right tease for a future episode meanwhile on to the titular quick question
of today's quick question hey soren quick question yeah go ahead what's a fact about
you that surprises you and i'm gonna i'll start with a quick one for me that the reason that this
came up is that I was
at work I mean in Slack talking to
co-workers someone brought up the Devil Wears Prada
and they like
described a specific reference to it
that everyone else seemed to get
and I said you know I've never seen Devil Wears Prada
and like the speed with which
five different co-workers wrote
DANIEL in all caps and slacked it
and I like in my home alone was like putting my hands up and I responded to them like which five different co-workers wrote Daniel in all caps and slacked it.
And I like, in my home alone, was like putting my hands up and I responded to them like,
listen, no one's as shocked about this as I am.
I really assume I would have seen Devil Wears Prada.
A, I see almost everything.
B, it's got an incredible cast of people that I love.
And it's just the exact sweet spot of a kind of movie that is 100% in my very specific
wheelhouse.
And everyone I know likes it a lot and has seen it a bunch of times.
And it was just one of those things where like my coworkers like, why haven't you seen
it?
I was like, Liz, I don't have a good answer for you.
You're right.
I'm supposed to have seen it.
I'm, I'm, maybe I was sick or something.
I'm, I really, I want to get to the bottom of this.
And I eventually did see it and it's a great movie.
We were all right.
But it's just one of those things that got me thinking about like other things about me that surprised me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I definitely have, have some. Do you want to surprise me. Yeah. Yeah, I definitely have some.
Do you want to say them?
Yeah.
Or no, just keep going.
No, this is like a thing I even just, I had to really come to terms with recently.
Okay.
And this is going to surprise you, I think.
I don't like hiking.
What?
That's what I said.
I really like backcountry trips.
I like the idea of camping in the backcountry.
I like the idea of being out in nature.
But the idea of going for a hike is so unappealing to me that as soon as it's suggested as a group activity, I'm like, fuck.
Because I know I'm going to go on it.
I know it's gonna be fine but like
hot and sweaty with a backpack on with my head down i'm not really like usually it's like you're
in a wooded area so you're not really there's not a lot to see until you get to the destination
itself it's just a lot of like you trudging along stepping roots, not rolling your ankles on rocks, and sometimes
like fighting through sticker bushes and things like that.
And then you just turn around, you go back and you like walk back to your car.
And so it's just this long, intentionally arduous walk that I don't see the appeal of.
And I've never been on a trip.
I mean, backpacking or just day hiking where I wasn't done with the hike two miles before I was at the end of it.
Where I was just like, this is over.
Let's just be back at the car already.
So I was trying to like, if I'm going to go for a hike, there needs to be some destination at the end of it that's going to be worth it.
A waterfall or a summit that I can look out over or something cool. We're going to bungee jump off a bridge at the end of it that's going to be worth a waterfall or a summit that i can look out over or something cool we're going to bungee jump off a bridge at the end like there's going to be
something rad because otherwise i it's so futile i don't get it i mean it's i'm not gonna sway you
over to the other side on this because you you accurately described what a uh hike is
but like i would also i could also describe like many workouts as long intentionally
intentionally arduous things yeah but none of them
end with a waterfall or a cool view that's true i don't feel like I'm getting as much from a hike though.
It's the equivalent of if somebody is like,
we're going to drink a beer this afternoon.
I'm like, why?
Why are we going to drink one beer?
What's that going to do?
That's just such a waste.
Like if we're going to drink, let's do it.
And says, I feel the same way about hiking.
I'm like, no, if it's a workout that you want,
let's just go do that.
That does feel like an apt comparison, though, because like, this is a nice beer that I brought, a special beer.
We are going to share it together and talk while we do it.
And you're like, no.
What?
I'll just go and get drunk alone.
What a waste.
No, I will drink a Dr. Pepper.
I'll drink something I enjoy.
Thank you.
Yeah. That is very surprising. Wow, I will drink a Dr. Pepper. I'll drink something I enjoy. Thank you. Yeah.
That is very surprising.
Wow, wow, wow.
And it's something that I never thought of true of myself because I always, it was such
a part of my life when I was younger was you go out and you go for hikes, you go exploring.
And I've got nothing against exploring, but getting on a trail, running into other people, uh, just that saying hi to other people,
doing a little hike or not,
you get to the end and you peel down your sock and it's just,
you can see that line.
Like you've just been sucking on a candy cane across the plastic where like
the line is your ankle is thinner underneath.
And then there's like dirt all over everything else.
Do you know what I'm talking about?
I do.
I sure do.
And you're, you're sweaty and tired, but you also feel like there's weeds in your underwear
somehow. Like there's like, it just never ends the way I want it to. It never feels as good.
It's always hot. It's always a sweaty endeavor. My back is all wet when I'm trying to get back in the car. And then also the prep.
I mean, the prep.
Even for a day hike, I got to find the right water bottle that doesn't leak.
Should I put some ice in it?
Because it's going to be a mess.
That feels like a problem you can get ahead of.
Should I bring a sysarminate just in case?
How much water do I need to bring?
Should I bring a first aid kit?
Because I know nobody else will bring one.
Am I going to be the one carrying the backpack?
Am I going to be carrying everybody's water?
I probably will.
There's just so many things to think about before you go even on the hike.
I'm like, I don't think I like this.
I don't enjoy it.
I'm going to say it.
I don't like these hikes.
Guess what we're doing on my birthday.
That's very surprising.
Yeah, I know.
I'm really, I'm really looking forward to your birthday.
You don't have to carry my water.
I'm already packed for your birthday.
And I will enjoy it.
I mean, like we'll do it and I'll be like, yeah, this is fine.
But I realized it when I was my, I met my brother and his family in San Luis Obispo
and we went on a hike there.
And as we were hiking, it wasn't just the fact that the kids were there.
We were on these boardwalk-type planks that go through wetlands.
And I was just like, what the fuck am I getting from this?
Yeah.
Nothing.
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The thing that I really feel is you being over a hike with the last like two miles or so. Yeah.
Because hikes, and what I'm talking about about hikes i am saying like there is a cool
ass waterfall or there's a cool summit there's something to do like there there there's a fun
thing but inevitably with those hikes the end is going to be the easiest and most boring and
least rewarding part and i mean it's rewarding when you're done yeah like when my brother and
i did uh the pemi loop up north last october whatever that was, October.
That was a great hike.
We had, I think,
nine summits across two days.
Great views, lots of fun.
It was very difficult.
And then the whole last two miles,
it's just flat walking out.
It's two miles to get to the parking lot, basically.
And that's the part where I'm like,
they should have music at this part of the trail they should have they should have something even when you're in line
at disney there's like a tv with characters doing bullshit this is this part sucks they should have
a park they should get rid of this part and make it all summits yeah i i i've the amount of times
that i've been on a hike at the very end of a hike and come around a turn and then said to myself, are you fucking kidding me? And realizing that like the parking lot is not right there. That's so much of the end of every hike I've ever done. But so like you're doing all those summits at once. That's great. Like that's a, I like the idea of a challenge in a hike or you're like, you're doing something that's pushing yourself and that can be
i see the reward in that like in the moment that's not supposed to be fun it's the same way with like
a long run like i don't get a joy in the middle of the run but the end i feel it i don't get that
from just a an out and back or like a a lollipop loop like i'm not getting anything out of that
it's just okay now we did this hike and now we're dirty and we're going home yeah i understand that too and like a friend of the show nancy she lives pretty close
to me and she wants to do hikes a lot and she sent me a bunch of hikes and it's like hey i want to be
clear uh this is this is an outdoor walk in the woods yeah this isn't a hike this is like yes i
will slowly walk with you and and we will look at a lighthouse um but it's good to know that this is an outdoor walk in the woods. This isn't a hike. This is like, yes, I will slowly walk with you and we will look at a lighthouse. But it's good to know that this is what you think a hike
is because that's important information for me because now I'll have to work out in the morning
before our walk. Right. Yeah, exactly. I can't remember who said it, but somebody said adventure
is not an adventure while you're on it. It's a pain in the ass. And I am for that. I like that idea.
I like some, like I've climbed 14ers.
I know like, I know that that's going to be an endeavor and it's going to suck in the
middle of it.
And I'm ready for that.
But like, I'm not ready to just go like Deacon dunk down a trail for half or like for three
miles and then be like, all right, we're turning around and going home.
Anyway, that's mine love that i could still find new things about you i think this this might be on a similar level of surprise is that if i didn't have my dog jackson my beloved dog jackson
i i don't think i i want, I want to phrase it carefully because
I don't want to say I wouldn't like dogs. You want to take him out of the room to do this?
Jackson, get in the car. I,
I would be unhappy about the residential and business existence of dogs.
Like, dogs, in my brain now, dogs can be a lot of places and get away with a lot, because I have a dog, and I'm building this world for him.
But, like, now that I'm, I haven't been in an apartment for about four or five months now, and'm in uh uh like town town and i can see that people like
there are people these poor people putting like impotently putting these signs up that are just
like please don't have your dog pee on our landscape or or like just like a picture of a
dog with a an x through it uh that are fully ignored by all of us dog owners
because it's like hey we know that you could just buy that sign in the store you fucking dope we're
not that's not legally binding we could do whatever we want and like my approach as i'm walking jackson
is i'm gonna try not to ruin any landscaping or anything but sometimes people will have a sign
that it was like and like dogs don't pee on this grass, please. And I was like, well, no, he's a, he's a dog.
I've, I've worked so hard to get him to accept that he can't, he can't pee in the places
that I pee and he can't pee and poop indoors.
Outdoors is, is all fair game for him.
Like, I'm sorry about your stupid signs.
But the flip side of that is I feel like if I didn't have this dog I would 100% be on their side I
would I wouldn't want dogs anywhere I wouldn't want any of them doing anything to mess up my
lawn even if it's not pooping even if it's just straight peeing it's still like no I'm in charge
of my lawn I don't want the smell of it I don't I don't want you trudging on it. And I feel even more so about like dog friendly restaurants and coffee shops and stores.
I feel like in my lifetime, dog acceptance has grown so much for indoor shared spaces.
And like, I love it.
It's great walking around with Jack's places.
But I also feel like if I didn't have him, this would make me so angry so quickly.
Yeah, well, you wouldn't have any of the context anymore.
I think it's so funny that as a dog owner, you think dogs have it too easy.
Dogs have had it too easy for too long.
I mean, I'm not really a pet owner.
I have a cat, which means that I have like a little tiny roommate.
I see what you're saying.
Like it is really, when I'm sitting in an airport and all of a sudden next to me, this
dog barks, it freaks me out.
This dog came out of nowhere.
Or when you see like in a farmer's market, all of a sudden these two dogs just start fighting.
And you're like, well, don't bring your dog in here if you know it's going to fight everybody.
I think I'm a little, I bring him to fewer places than most dog owners, I think.
So like I'm already pretty much like trying to keep us both in our same space.
pretty much like trying to keep us both in our same space.
But I still feel myself being both sides of this coin where in some cases I'm like, he's just a little guy and he doesn't make noise.
And when he does make noise, he's just saying hi.
And now I'm on the other side of that where it's like,
you chose to have this dog.
I didn't choose to be around your dog in the supermarket or like dog friendly
apartment buildings. I've been so grateful for like dog friendly apartment buildings i've been so
grateful for every dog friendly apartment building that i've ever moved into uh i think i would just
hate it if i could because i don't i don't imagine uh people who don't have dogs check to see if an
apartment is dog friendly before they sign up for it i think they do what i do they do what everyone does where you look for the amenities that are geared to you and you're like
great this has washer dryer this has front desk person this has that this has this and then they
check off all your boxes and you get it and then you're in your home and you just hear barking
because it's a because you're like oh shit i picked I picked a dog-friendly apartment building. I understand if those people are
miserable about that
and they
don't want to be in a spot where they have to hear
barking dogs all the time.
I think I would be one of them if my dog
wasn't perfect.
I
kind of get that.
I'm pretty lenient towards dogs in public.
I do enjoy their company.
I like seeing them generally.
Yeah.
Unless it does become a huge inconvenience where like,
you're in one of those situations where somebody has to say the,
those like those famous lines.
He doesn't usually do this.
Yes.
Which is so frequent.
But I do generally like seeing dogs. I like,
I enjoy being around them and I like them because my children like them and my kids get very excited
when they see dogs. But I, uh, a spiritual cause of this is that I have realized in my later life
is that I don't like kids. I like my kids. I like my children. And I used to like all children. I mean, you and I used to like all children.
I mean,
you and I used to go volunteer with kids and like,
even the ones that were a little shitty,
like we were still like,
yeah,
it's,
you're just,
there's a kid.
What's the,
that's just how it is.
Like some,
they're not,
they're not fully made humans yet.
Um,
and I,
since I've been a parent,
I've really grown to loathe other children because they don't operate by the same rules.
You can introduce games to your kid that like, you know, your kid would be like good with.
And then another kid will come along and just be like, well, let's test the limits of this
game and like try to ruin it.
And you're like, no, that's not what we're doing.
Come on, man.
And I find other kids in my life that I have to deal with where I mean, I like my nephews, my nieces and nephews.
I like a lot of my friends' children.
But there are children out in the wild who we just encounter at parks and stuff where I'm like...
A lot of my friends' children.
You got friends who listen to this podcast, buddy.
There's a group chat going now.
That's why I'm not going to specify.
And you meet them out in the park and stuff and you're like you're just i know what it takes to make a good kid and it's
not that hard and you're not it like you're you something went wrong here yeah and you
don't want that kid running up rubbing off on on your kid at all no especially because they
got those sticky hands i mean like literally you don't want them rubbing against your child.
They've got, even children that are running around a park
with a big snot streak that's coming out of a nostril
and going all the way up to their ear,
like some sort of piercing.
Like, I'm like, take care of yourself.
Figure that out.
You must feel it on your face.
Take care of yourself.
Come on.
I can't play with myself.
Figure it out.
Two things kids famously do.
I can't play with you if that's there because I'm going to be worried the whole time that
you're going to rub your face on me because that's another thing kids do.
Right.
And if you're playing with a kid and you turn around and the snot is gone, that's even worse
because like, well, now, now you know it went somewhere.
Yeah.
Or there are kids that are like just drooly kids.
Like the teeth are all in at this point.
That's not the issue.
It's just somehow they're like more visceral than other children.
And they talk to you and they're just spray and spit all over the place.
And you're like, I shouldn't have to interact with you.
I think that children with you. Yeah. Those are some good answers.
I think that children in general.
Yeah.
Children and dogs and hikes are bad.
Devil Wears Prada is good.
They're bad.
Have you seen Devil Wears Prada?
No, I've never seen it.
It's good.
The only knowledge that I have of it,
it's obviously from pop culture and specifically
The Office when Michael
comes in having only seen the
first half.
And very much wants to
be like Glenn Close?
Meryl Streep? Who is it? Meryl Streep.
Meryl Streep. Hey, you know who's not getting
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people in our lives who will still leave voicemails on our phones or call us just to say hi. And you
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raycon will never know if you're ordering these for yourself you still get 15 off um i realized
that i gave you two that are hey this thing is surprising that i hate um and i feel like i should
give you one that i like like a thing that i was surprised that I like. And that is country music.
Ooh.
Is this just because of Taylor Swift, who you famously love very much?
Is she considered country?
Wasn't that her whole thing when she started?
Maybe.
Oh, I do like Taylor Swift.
This is really fitting with the aesthetic that I'm building.
Yeah.
That's right, because you never associated her with any genre. You were just like, oh, I'm building. Yeah. That's right. Because you don't, you never associated her with any genre.
You were just like,
Oh,
I'm listening to Taylor.
Yes.
The kind of music that is Taylor.
I see.
It was a,
she's a pioneer in the industry as far as I'm concerned.
No,
this really came about when I started listening to an artist named Colter
Wall.
Do you know who that is?
Nope.
Sounds country.
Yeah.
Very country,
but like Saskatchewan country.
He's like Canadian country, which I guess is the next, obviously lit where can it, Nope. Sounds country. coming from Canada. Colter Wall is somebody I suggest you go watch like a video
of a music video of his or him
performing somewhere
because he does not look like his
voice at all. He's got this really deep resonant
voice. Did you ever see
Hell or High Water?
Is that with Chris Pine and
Ben Foster? One of the three movies those two guys
have quietly made together? That is it. They're all
great. The main song in that movie is Sleeping on the Blacktop. And if you heard it, you'd be like,
okay, I've heard this before. And it's a wonderful song, but all his songs are really great.
And then there's another band from, I think they're from Canada called the Dead South
that I think is really good. Sturgill Simpson, you know who that is?
Yeah. He's great.
He's awesome. And it just was recent where I was like, I think I like country.
And I guess there's different factions of country.
I'm still not...
There's like Garth Brooks really took a branch and a lot of people followed that.
That was like a dude with a big belt buckle playing his acoustic guitar with a button
up and a cowboy hat on.
I mean, a button up shirt and a cowboy hat on i mean a button
shirt and a cowboy hat on and i guess that's still not my type of country but right it's it's
i'm the same way as you were there are a few artists that i have definitely come across and
liked and enjoyed but i'm not close enough to the genre as a whole yet that i can like i can't put on
as a whole yet that I can, like, I can't put on XM country.
No, I would need something very highly curated to a specific kind of music that I'm sure like
real country heads know exactly like what to call it,
like alt country or new country or whatever it is.
They know what to call it and they know how to find it.
I don't yet.
I'm just doing like clicking like on Spotify
until I have enough of them
together that I will then print that list out and show it to someone and be like, what is this?
What is this thing that I like so I can just make my life easier and find it on XM?
Yes. That's a good way of articulating it. I'm like at the, I'm at like gateway country right
now. I'm not ready to mainline country by any means. Yeah. But I do, I find, so I, you know,
your playlists are built around what you listen to on Spotify.
And occasionally I'll just get a playlist that we'll start playing.
I'll be like, I, I think this is a country playlist,
but I'm really enjoying it.
I think it's great.
Also, Ween has a country album and I really enjoy that.
Did you not know that?
No. Yeah. It's called 12 golden country hits
and it's got 10 songs on it so interesting whenever a band was just like we do an album
that's that's this kind now yeah and i feel like growing up artists were like i don't know you're
born a country artist or you're born a rock and roll guy and it's like no they're all like band geeks and theater kids who picked a thing and they're like no i want to i want to try this now
like like i'll like eddie vetter is pearl jam and then he just came out with this album uh
called earthling and it's just like a bunch of different
not like he's not suddenly doing country or suddenly doing pop but there's some like joyful
anthem stuff going on in there which is like oh yeah i guess it makes sense eddie vetter is just
like a songwriter who was like i'm tired of doing pearl jam songs i want to do one of these fucking
songs how come i don't get to do any chili pepper songs i think it was chuck klosserman who we
talked about on the previous episode who said that that for the heavy rock bands, the rock bands of the 70s and 80s that survived, the way that they survived was that they dabbled in blues as well.
And I'm like, yeah, that makes perfect sense.
They just picked another genre.
And also, we kind of mix in with this.
And you're like, OK, Rolling Stones did some very bluesy songs.
And you're like, OK, that's the key to success is you've got to branch out.
very bluesy songs.
And you're like,
okay,
that's the key to success is you got to branch out.
Well,
I won't be doing that.
Oh no,
I will be doing that.
Hey,
that takes me to the next part
of the show.
Soren,
I want to branch out
and make lots of money.
Can you help me?
I don't really like money,
but go ahead.
Okay.
I want to develop
a game show idea
and then sell it and make lots of money.
Can you help me develop it?
Of course.
I'm your buddy.
I'll do anything.
Okay.
It's inspired.
Famously, I've been taking Spanish classes for a very long time now.
I mean, like, less than 120 days, but it feels like a long time.
And trying to remember the lessons i do it every
single day and i'm it certainly makes it clear to me how difficult school would be to do right now
like public middle or high school for me if i had to spend a day because this is again like 30 minutes
of a thing i'm trying to learn now 60 minutes of two different things because I'm doing Spanish and Italian at the same time factor in uh whatever I watch on the news that morning
that's like the sum total of things that I'm trying to retain every day for the most part
my day is spent in the stasis of everything that I've ever known and not growing from there. But if I
had to recreate school right now, like spend a day bouncing around from different subjects for six
hours and then was expected to retain that information, I don't know how I would do it.
I'm not doing it with, again, the hour plus information that I'm half absorbing every day.
So the game show is adults
the contestants are adults
going through some forced approximation of school
and then
they would be quizzed
I haven't figured it all out yet
I think I would want
Taskmaster style where
you get a group of the same people
and you're with them for
a couple of weeks and they're doing like a few weeks of school and when i'm saying school it's
like several different subjects yeah bouncing around different classes including like phys ed
now you have to do a gym thing and then pop quizzes can happen at any time and they want
to see how much you retain from the things you've been learning in school. I like this a lot. Because I also have found that my mind, that portion of me has
atrophied since I've been out of school. And it used to be, I was so good at it. I was so good at
like, you would end a subject, you'd jump from one thing to another very easily. And then at the end
of the day, you'd come back to your homework and be like,
oh yeah, I remember exactly what we were talking about.
It was this, this, and this.
And it was hours ago.
And then you just switch gears immediately.
Especially because like the,
and maybe other people's jobs prepare them for this better.
But for me, when I have like a writing assignment,
everything else from work.
It's done.
Stops.
Yeah, everything in my life.
Leave him alone.
He's writing now.
So all I'm doing is focusing on like,
all right, tomorrow morning,
this paper is due and that's it.
And now I'm trying to think about like high school
and middle school homework where I get home
and it's like, all right, I got to write this essay
and I got to do this math worksheet
and I got to understand this science thing.
Like a bunch of different things that I'd have to pivot to.
And I was like, no, no, no, no, no.
I need 14 hours to write this four paragraph essay.
And that's it.
I'm not supposed to be distracted with math.
Yeah.
I'm almost like Matt.
Even things in my own life where like some I'll be writing and I'll notice that the mailman has come and delivered mail.
And I'm like, bills?
I'm not paying fucking bills right now.
Ask me in two weeks when I'm done.
That's silly.
I can't be expected to do all of these things.
So in talking about it, Dan, just now, I'm realizing that I have an idea that I think would be really helpful for this.
Okay.
And that is part of what was so hard about school is that you didn't have the context
yet for any of this stuff either.
I think that it would be really hard to like teach people stuff that they didn't already
know.
And so I think what you have to do is have this stuff be completely made up, but like
sound likely just like it felt in school or like, it sounds like it could be real.
Like the same way mythology kind of is where you,
yeah.
Like you're like,
yeah,
you teach the,
you're talking about history and you're talking about like the origin of
man was you tell them it was like 400 years ago.
And it was when a goddess sat naked on a flower and in the center grew an
egg.
And then that hatched into a human or like something like that.
Or like the,
where the stars came from is that a flock of birds imbuedued with buffalo power pierced the veil and that everyone has to like remember
that shit we would teach them like all of the animals from the movie avatar where it's like
okay yeah that's it's kind of like a horse but it's not so like like you have some like loose
frame of reference for it but it's still foreign enough. Yeah.
And it sounds very true.
It's like, yeah, it sounds possible enough.
And it's like, you know what all the words mean in it, but it's a brand new concept.
And you have to put that for every single one of them.
You can do that for like history and science.
And it's a little tougher to do with math unless you're just also there.
You're like the rules of pedmos.
We're not using pedmas. Like
right now it's parentheses are last man. When we solve these equations and you just create,
you introduce all these new rules and new rules that I think you could really, and then at the
end you got to trade, you got to see how people retained it. And it's brand new to everybody.
Yeah. And they get letter grades and there's winners and losers.
And same way oh like p
taskmaster like that taskmaster types of stuff where you have to count the number of steps
you're taking on a walk with alex horn as you're having a conversation and hold the conversation
sports that don't exist but that like you're inventing in the moment would be really fun to try. Yeah. And then we sell this show.
And we split it.
Well, we split it 50-50.
You know, Bacon's going to take his cut.
He's got to wet his beak.
I get it.
He's got to get that piece.
Yeah, got to get that beak all soaking wet.
That's fine.
He can have mine.
I just, money feels so boring to me at this point in my life.
me at this point in my life this is uh this is a quick question the podcast where we hate dogs and kids we're bored with money uh i think that we could make a successful tv writers are just as
detached and awful as you secretly thought but i think we can make a successful TV writers are just as detached and awful as you secretly thought.
I think we can make a show and like,
that would be a really great humor element to it as well.
Like you're forcing them to remember basically nonsense,
but like really funny nonsense.
Yeah.
And then like have to regurgitate that like factor right reports on it.
Yeah.
I think we're closer to understanding this game show and more than oh i was gonna say
and more than that i think we're almost done with the show but we're not no we're not even close man
we're close 37 minutes is basically 48 minutes and 48 minutes was an hour last time
do you think we'd have to have comedians on it? I think so. That's one of the things that I've loved about Taskmaster so much
is that winning doesn't really matter.
Everyone acts like it does, which is very helpful,
but no one is competing for life-changing money or prizes or anything like that.
It really is entertainers
who know they are there to entertain,
but who also know that the show is better
if they commit to the ridiculous rules.
Everybody's in on the conceit, yes.
Yeah.
Which is beautiful.
It's the opposite of most game shows
in that everyone's there to make friends.
Yeah.
So there's an English show called 8 Out of 10 Cats,
which is an offshoot of countdown, which is like a math and, and, uh, it's kind of a, a wordy show where like
you do word scrambles and stuff, but mostly it's math.
And then they have the, all of their treasured comedians of England who come on this show
and do it.
And it's so funny every single time.
It's wonderful.
And you see a lot of the same
faces pop up from taskmaster and i know i think we've talked about this on the show before but
i'm just so jealous of how well they take care of their comedians like how treasured their comedians
are in england that they just really do game shows around them yeah but that's that that's
i'm jealous but i also another reason that i would
want to like cast this high school game show instead of like making it a proper show with
with contestants trying to win money is one of the things that i've found being in comedy
professionally for 15 years now is we have met and worked with so many
incredibly funny incredibly talented incredibly quick people and and like where do you put them
you know like like obviously a lot of them are are are performers they're actors or they're
improvisers and a lot of them are writers and directors certainly but like there's also that
they're actors or they're improvisers and a lot of them are writers and directors certainly but like there's also that the the personality aspect of it where it's like the funniest thing about
you cody johnston is just you existing in a situation and like we never found what is the the
we've never found the perfect translation of like cody and michael solving a problem together because it's funnier because we would end up scripting something like, no, it's funnier to get funny people together.
Just like being around each other and existing and working towards a goal or working against each other on something.
And I there's hundreds of people like that that we know that was like, we are very to have met all these funny people i want to showcase them i want to just like do a show that just like just just sit here
and be funny just just it's not stand-up just be a be you as yourself a very funny person
yeah that'd be really i'd love doing that i would love to even just do a show where
we and we have cody Cody and Michael do little daily
tasks.
Like they have to mail a letter.
That's the episode.
And like, they got to figure out alone how to mail a letter.
They're like, okay, well they first have to write it.
Then they have to like be like, okay, I think I saw some somewhere once that you have to
put a stamp on one of these.
Where do we get one of those?
Well, let's go to the grocery store and see.
I would love that.
Right. we get one of those well let's go to the grocery store and see i would love that right well um here's the deal we could end it here or i could no i don't think i should talk
to you about catman do yet because you have to listen to it okay what else is going on man you
pretty getting pretty excited about your birthday party. I'm pretty amped for it. what is the equivalent of a motel out there, but it's a bunch of different little cabins and everyone's going to be there together. So it'll feel and have that like close contact of
a close knit community that you haven't had since college. And it's going to be so much fun. I think
like it's all planned out. And that's the best part is that one of the things that I always loathe
about bachelor parties or big groups of friends going off on a retreat somewhere or something is that you've got to, there's the logistics.
You got to get everyone together and be like, well, what do you want to do?
Well, what do you want to eat?
Should we have dinner now?
Should we go later?
But when all that stuff's all set for you already, when you're like, no, we're all going
to meet here for dinner this one night.
And it's all, we get like this all our own room or whatever, or we're going to be on
this patio.
And that's, we're planning to be there from this time to this time it's so great i like that's when
i really enjoy a vacation and i realized that that was the type of vacation i had when i was a child
and i didn't have to plan at all so basically i just i want to be a child for my birthday yeah
and it's going to be great i think it it's gonna be a lot of fun i did uh
when i was thinking about the alumni question but the notable alumni question earlier uh i did a few
days ago uh search you to see if you're've ever uh accumulated any amount of
fame real fame or in our cases internet and television fame uh i there seems to be a market
for slapdash websites that are all things like infamous people info famous people.com where you can you can find
soren buoy age bio wiki facts and family well this is where we found out that you are famously
single yeah i'm i'm incredibly single you can find out like if this famous person it's because a lot
of people will google like how old is this famous person yeah is this person married is this person single it's an SEO game the same thing then
title
it will generate titles
that people will
like write to you know like
like enough people have asked
is Daniel O'Brien single
that like some
website algorithm determined like
alright this is a link that will
get clicked on.
If we have an answer to this question,
people will click on it.
We could put ads on the website and we could make money.
That's an internet business.
So there are a bunch of these websites written by,
I think, mostly robots or people
who aren't native English speakers.
And Soren, first of all, I went to that dating website
and you're single.
I am?
Yeah.
And the other news that might be a shock and you, you you're single. I am. Yeah. And the other,
the other news that might be a shock for you.
You're 38.
All right.
How about that?
That's good news.
It's an early birthday present.
Hey,
38 single.
You've had one girlfriend before.
It tells you how many girlfriends I've had.
Yeah.
Oh,
that's great news.
I wonder if this has your network.
I wonder if colleen knows yeah
oh buddy um at i got terrible news for you at all famous birthday.com slash soren hyphen buoy
yeah your profession is blogger i don't like that i don't care for that that's rough
uh so we i've we found one of these sites, I think, while we were at Cracked.
These other ones will tell you net worth of people,
and it's always so, so funny to see how much the internet thinks you're worth.
So do you want me to tell you how much you're worth, Daniel?
Yeah, I'll tell you how much you're worth.
Okay, hold on.
I want to make sure that I'm not getting the Olympian here,
because that would ruin it.
Yeah, here we go.
Do you want to take any guesses on how much you're worth?
You're 34 years old. Do they give you a range or do they have the answer
cold? They have the answer cold.
Really? Oh, shit.
I don't know where
they think they're getting this't know where it can't i don't
know where they think they're getting this information from it's like it can't be because
i've seen it as a range before that where they're like we think its net worth is between 100 000
and a million dollars it's like all right well you're hedging some bets there that's that's a
pretty wide range but i have a one number for you and you have one number for me.
One million.
That is shockingly close.
They have you at 1.5 million is your net worth.
You're at 1.5 million.
That's insane.
I wish that I was worth $1.5 million.
I would be so pumped if that was the case.
It would be great if we were both 1.5 million it would be very surprising uh that my net worth is the same as soren's uh uh married homeowner with two children
and we've had different jobs uh but yeah the internet has just decided uh what seems like
the amount of money a tv writer would be worth it's 1.5 million i know i know i know
earlier i said that i was bored of money but now that i like i'm dreaming of 1.5 million dollars
i'm like how do i get there ah that's that's what i show this website to you're like look look
take this to wells fargo no one would bat an eye if I was suddenly worth 1.5 million. We're already all
saying it out in the streets. So why don't we just do it? Money's not real. Make it happen.
I would like to show up at the teller's window at Wells Fargo and be like, with my laptop,
or even better, my PC, like just drag it in there and be like, you got to see this. Look,
1.5. Now look at my account. It's different. So let's get that where this is.
Now look at my account.
It's different.
So let's get that where this is.
Yeah.
According to famouspeople.com backslash net worth backslash feet hyphen Daniel O'Brien,
I've got hot feet and I'm worth $1.5 million.
So what's it going to be?
There's some interesting, like what they chose to pull out of your life as the interesting facts is very very tell it's very strange so they've under
family life they've got that you were born in hazlitt they know that he often features his
dog jackson on instagram okay family life
good lord yeah your trivia is that you wrote how to fight presidents which is good that's good
trivia okay yeah oh and which they tell you a little bit about the book and they say it includes
little known facts about former u.s presidents which it does but that is not the conceit of the
book sure it's also like like whenever someone's writing my obituary i don't want like my actual professional accomplishments to be like trivia little known
fact yeah he published a book yeah they're fucking they're saying i didn't mean that to be like
buried as my imdb trivia they they're they do recognize that you've been on the crack podcast
but they say that you were on it wants to talk about lyndon b johnson and that's kind of it so i'm i'm kind of in love with these sites now
um god i would love to be worth 1.5 million dollars i would i wish i could wear that somehow
i'm printing this up yeah source. Source of income blogger.
Car is not available.
You talk about your car all the time.
Are you sure you're spelling it right?
You don't really know cars.
And salary is under review.
So they're still looking at it.
They got a crack team over at allfamousbirthday.com.
They're going through all the pay stubs to try and add it all up.
I get it.
It takes a while.
I don't understand why they choose certain words.
So let me...
In Sorin Bui height and body stats, height, unknown.
Weight, not known.
Body measurements, under review.
Eye color, not available.
Eye color is the most available of all these stats.
Facts and trivia, Sorin ranked on the list of most popular blogger.
Whoa.
Also ranked in the elite list of famous celebrity born in United States.
That is an elite list.
You ranked on there?
celebrity born in United States.
That is an elite list.
You ranked on there?
Yeah, but surely it's like hundreds of thousands of, or
even, sadly, millions
of people.
It's always fun to watch them take
stabs and just guess at what
you are. I'm
trying to find yours, but man, you are
really mixed in here with the Olympian.
Good.
Oh, Dan, you're going to love this.
Daniel O'Brien, comedian, better known by the family name Daniel O'Brien, is a popular
actor, model, and producer.
Whoa.
Because of the t-shirts, I think.
Man. You did model.
This makes me wonder, if the, I
think I was assuming these
articles were
written by robots.
It's much more interesting
to me if they are written by, like,
I don't know, 12-year-olds, or like,
Swedish teens or something just like it's it's certainly
not an adult writer or researcher or something like that it's it's some there's some error in
translation happening somewhere for the for all of the writers of all of these websites yeah the i don't think this is but they do know some deep facts about you
yeah this one says i think it's not it's not a robot there's still like there's somebody writing
it yeah his college job as a bartender was the inspiration for his unpublished online novel
oh no his unpublished yeah i guess it is online novel bartender did you put that online
i did and then i took it off okay bartender. Did you put that online?
I did, and then I took it off.
Okay.
I didn't know you did that.
I thought they just somehow knew that you had an unpublished novel sitting around on your computer.
No, I mean, and like unpublished isn't the... It's not like I tried to sell it and it didn't go anywhere.
I was doing a self-publishing thing.
It's gotten very confused.
On purpose.
It's gotten...
Chapter by chapter.
self-publishing thing it's gotten very on purpose it's got chapter by chapter and then i had ethical problems with the glorification of guns in my own book so i dramatically and righteously took it down
yeah unpublished novel i'm gonna i'm gonna publish it right now um i i want to tell you one other
detail about this that i'm okay i find very fun. This is estimating that you're worth between $1 million and $5 million.
Huge.
All right.
Huge swath of possibility.
Look, Wells Fargo, I will go on the lower end of that spectrum.
I'm not greedy.
I just want to make the internet honest.
I'll tell you what.
Give me $100 and I'll walk out of here right now.
This says, do you want to know where you made your money, though?
This tells you.
So they thought you made your money from blogger yeah this is different net worth daniel bryan collected most of his earnings from his yeezy sneakers
he has exaggerated over the years about the size of his business.
Guess I must've.
Um,
is professional is real enough to rank as one of the biggest celebrity cash outs of all time.
I don't know what that means,
but,
uh,
it,
this is you.
I mean,
it's all the other details are right,
but for some reason they've thought you made your fortunes off of Yeezy
sneakers.
I can see if there's some there's some person who's english as a second or third language who is
writing all of these blog posts all of these these birthday age weight height eye color stats
just growing so resentful if they think any of this is true it's like they're just fucking
giving money away to bloggers out there american bloggers 1.5 million dollars and he gets to cash
out on one of the biggest shoe deals just for being a blogger and model
just seething over there i believe it okay everyone well thank you for sticking with us
through that i don. I don't,
I don't ever know how self-indulgent this kind of thing is. I got a real kick out of seeing all
this information about you, Daniel. I did too. But like, we got tired of talking to each other
about ourselves. So we're like, we need to fill out this time. Oh, good. Here's websites with
information about us. What else is out there? What else? This will be a nice change of pace.
On Twitter, you can follow Daniel at DO dob underscore inc you can follow me soren at soren underscore ltd uh you can follow quick question at qq underscore soren and dan um you can also email
our show at qq with soren and daniel at gmail.com that's where we got our first taste of our theme song from me, Rex.
That song came to us through our email.
So thank you, me, Rex.
And you can also, I don't even know what to say for him here.
I don't, cause you can't do any of these things.
You can't get in touch with our producer and sound engineer and editor.
You can, you can just acknowledge that he's a good person out into the world.
Just shout it into the air, but his name is is Gabe Harder so that's what you should be shouting
you know what would be great is
if we can get our audience to start searching
for like Gabe Harder
height, weight, net worth
that he gets his own page
on hisbirthday.info.biz or whatever
it probably exists already is my guess
he's been on enough podcasts I feel like it's probably out there
I would really be curious to learn more about gabe it's some
really factually inaccurate stuff about gabe um you can also follow us on our patreon or subscribe
to our patreon patreon quick question give us some money and uh there's some additional content that
we do where we occasionally answer the questions from you the listeners when we feel like it
um that's not sure we do it all the time.
We're slaves to it.
All right.
Bye.
We're not allowed to not do it.
I've got a quick,
quick question for you.
All right.
I want to hear your thoughts.
I want to know what's on your mind.
I've got a quick,
quick question for you.
All right.
The answer's not important. I'm just glad that we could talk tonight
So what's your favourite?
Who did you get?
When do I be remembered?
What's it out there?
Where did all the guys go?
Oh, forget it
I saw a movie, Daniel O'Brien
Two best friends are comedy writers
If there's an answer answer they're gonna find it
I think you'll have a great time here
I think you'll have a great time here