Quick Question with Soren and Daniel - What if The Purge was Real?

Episode Date: September 3, 2024

How would the guys handle The Purge? How hard is insurance fraud? How many rule-clarifying questions can we ask before everyone gets sick of it and purges us early? Plus truck talk! If you’re Home Depot send us an email.Thanks to Rocket Money for sponsoring this episode. RocketMoney.com/qq.  it could save you hundreds a year.Find Soren & Daniel on Bluesky:https://bsky.app/profile/sorenbowie.bsky.social https://bsky.app/profile/danielobrien.bsky.social Find the show on IG: https://www.instagram.com/qqsorenanddaniel/

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to save money at over 750 stores. Join for free at rakuten.ca or get the Rakuten app. That's R-A-K-U-T-E-N. I've got a quick quick question for you alright The answer's not important, I'm just glad that we can talk tonight So what's your favourite? How did you get? What would I be? What did you remember? What did I do? Where did all of you go?

Do we know? Oh forget it I saw a movie, Daniel O'Brien Two best friends and comedy writers If there's an answer they're gonna find it I think you'll have a great time here I think you'll have a great time here So hello again and welcome to another episode of Quick Question with soren and Daniel the podcast were two best friends and Comedy writers ask each other questions and give each other answers I am one half of that podcast senior writer for last week tonight with John Oliver author

Thanks to rocket money for supporting quick question rocket money will quickly and easily identify your subscriptions for you So you can stop paying for the ones you don't want. Stop throwing your money away, cancel unwanted subscriptions, and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash QQ. And puzzle enthusiast Daniel O'Brien joined us as always by my cohost, Mr. Soren Buie.

Soren, say hello. Hey everybody, I'm Soren Buie. I'm a writer for American Dead and a dad himself. But man, so as a dad myself, my kids will occasionally, when we get on FaceTime with my mom or Colleen's parents, they try bits. They're excited to be talking to somebody new and they want to try some shit out. And what they don't realize is that a lot of it doesn't translate onto a tiny little screen and it couldn't have gone worse for you just now in that the way that the hat was folded, that was not playing. And then you froze before the puzzle could get to the screen.

Oh good. And so there was, I heard the rattle of jigsaw pieces, but there was no actual puzzle there. So it sounded like you just were doing some foley work as well. I had my cousin wanted to play Animal Crossing online with me a few days ago and like we scheduled it, my brother and I to make sure this could happen. And then my brother called me and put me on speaker so my nephew could talk to me. And I'm sitting in my home with the phone up and the switch and my brother and sister-in-law trusting that everything would work out,

left the room to go do like their morning routine. And my nephew was sitting there and like, he can't connect to the internet, but also he's seven, so he's distracted and he's just like, like losing himself playing Animal Crossing as I'm sitting there like, I'm like, honey, honey, you need to, you need to, you need to go to the, to the, to the airport. You need to, you need to talk to the, to the, to the Dodo and you need to select. I want visitors.

Can you do that? Don't do local play. Can you do that? And I just hear, oh, oh, I got that guy. Oh yeah. Look at this. Look what I got. Honey, honey, I can't see you.

I cannot see what you're doing. Uncle, uncle, where are you? Can I? Hello? An adult! Can any of the adults hear me? Adult! Thanks!

Yep. I fear the phone has fallen off the couch at this point. I can't talk to anyone. There was a brief time where my... Actually, we started doing it again, but my mom wanted to do reading to Ronan over the internet. There's an app called Caribou where you can actually read a book together, but it's

like whatever books they've got in their little arsenal. And there's also some coloring and stuff you can do together, but you can both see. You can see each other, but then you can also see what's happening on the screen in between you on the iPad or the phones that you guys have. And she wanted to do that for a little while with him. And it was the same situation where it started off off and I was like, I was monitoring it. I was making sure that like everything was going right. And then I was like, you know what?

This this is good. And so I backed away and kind of did my own thing for a while and came back and found Ronan coloring. And I was like, hey, man, what are you doing? And he was like, coloring. And I was like, where's the phone? And he was like, uh, your bedroom. It's like, where's the phone? And he was like, uh, your bedroom.

Okay. And I go over there. Nini's still on the phone. Nini's still there. She's reading a book. And I'm like, did you know, when did he, did you know he left? And she's like, yeah, I was thinking he might come back. And I was curious what was going to happen. Okay. All right, sorry. That's my fault. That's a fun piece of technology that I didn't know existed. Yeah, it's a caribou, it's a little limited. There's some good drawings and colorings and stuff

and books that you can read together, but it's not like you could just read Percy Jackson on there together or something like that. Yeah. So you and I read Percy Jackson on there together or something like that. Yeah. So you and I can't read normal people together. We can't read Sarah Rooney's book that everyone was talking about five years ago. I was also going to say, what is a book for this joke? I don't know a single book that's been released in the last five years.

Should we, what should we do? Do I have any updates? Let's fall into the plot. Go ahead. Okay. No, you've got a story to tell. You got a story. I want to hear it. I mean, I'd just like to update you and other listeners about my car saga that listeners, depending on when this episode came out, will recall three weeks ago when I said that the whole mess was cleared up. It's still not resolved. I mean, it's resolved in the sense that I got to take my car to a mechanic that was

like, yes, the insurance company, not yours, is going to cover this. And he looked at the damage. He's like, this is going to be really easy. This is going to be really quick. You drop off your car next week and then the insurance company is going to cover this. And he looked at the damage, he's like, this is going to be really easy. This is going to be really quick. You drop off your car next week and then the insurance company is going to give you a rental car and then when you're done, you will pick up the car. Good as new. And you can drop off the rental car here.

I know it's going to be great. I was like, this is a perfect system. And so I dropped off my car and then I picked up my rental and they're like, what kind of car do you want? I said, well, insurance is only going to pay for the smallest thing you have. And I'm fine with that because I used to drive Nissan, so I'm familiar with them. And so like any kind of sedan would be great for me. And they're like, well, we're out of sedans. Will you do a Dodge Ram pickup truck?

And I was like, I'd really rather not. I wanna drive only what's gonna be free to me. And they said, no, this is free to you. This is just the thing that we have. And if you want to transfer to something like a mini SUV, you will pay the difference. I was like, no, you're not gonna, give me this pickup truck,

this giant fucking Dodge Ram pickup truck, biggest thing I've ever driven outside of a U-Haul. And I drove it around for a few hours the first day that I picked it up. I was like, I don't feel super great up. Like I'm falling out of it every time I park and get out of it because I'm not used to the height difference of how big that car is. And I don't, I have no sense of awareness of exactly how big it is. So I'm even more cautious when I drive that

than I am when I drive my normal overly cautious way. And I did enjoy having an open bed of the truck. I was walking back from the beach, which is just across the street from me. And I normally take my beach chair down into the basement storage, but I was like, I guess I could just fucking throw it in the bed of this truck, like some kind of truck guy. What else? Do I have any of those like Home Depot orange buckets that I can throw in there just to like, just to use it? Because when am I going to have this again?

So I started throwing stuff in the bed of the truck, and then this morning woke up to notification from my mechanics saying good news we started on your car we should have it back to you in 14 days holy shit that is so long to be driving a truck that scares me that's so long for them to have a car in in their shop i know that's like a total. I don't know if they're just like, if they're waiting on a part, or which I feel like they wouldn't be,

I feel like they could have just ordered it when they knew this was happening. Or if there was more cars in front of me, or what the deal is, but then I immediately, once I got the 14 days notification, I called up the car rental place and I was like, did anyone bring in a normal

Daniel sized car today that I can swap this one out for? And they're like, yeah, if you want to swap out that pickup truck for a Toyota Camry. I'm like, yes, absolutely. Yes, please. I would love to do that. What a terrible diagnosis. That feels like when you get your car totaled and they're like, hey, the car is totaled. It's going to be worth more to not fix it. And you're like, you know, it has a lot of sentimental value. Please try. And they're like, all right, it'll be on life support. It'll be in a coma for 14 days while we try to get it resolved.

Like that's, that's a crazy amount of time for not much damage. I mean, I don't know how long things are supposed to take. It's just some bumper damage. And I, that's why I feel like it's truly just waiting on a new bumper to come in and replace this one. By steamship? However big that panel is. Yeah, because to me I just think, well this can take a day if it's the only thing you

do, in my opinion. As someone who's never worked on a car before, I'm pretty sure it's a day, or it's a day plus however long the part takes to get there. Which is why I assume 14 days. I don't know. What the fuck? Is someone swimming it over from Tokyo? Like where, wait, what kind of cardio?

Subaru Forester. Yeah, okay, so I'm not that far off. Also, I took most of my stuff out of the car and when you pick up the rental, they're like, no smoking in the car, no pets in the car and there's an EZPass in there. If you want to use your own EZPass you use that. If you use ours it's you know an extra four dollars a day for every day that you use it and I'm picking up the car thinking like it's gonna be really easy for me not

to have pets in the car or an EZPass because if I need to go somewhere that goes through tolls I will use my fiance's car. But now that it's 14 days, I'm like, there is a very real chance that I'm gonna have my dog in this car in 14 days and we'll go through tolls in 14 days. That's so crazy. Also, the truck is very funny.

That's a very funny thing to find out. That they were like, oh, we can't do, we can't do a sedan. And you're like, okay, fine. A compact like something smaller. No, sir. The very biggest thing we can, you can have a school bus or you can have a Dodge Ram. I understand you're going to need to think about this because either one of those is a nightmare. You can, you can pay more for a car that makes you feel safe and comfortable, or you can pay nothing and your neighbors will hate you. I guess that one, that's the one I take.

Was your first thought, what are the things that I've always considered I want to do, but I didn't have a friend with a truck? Like what are the things I wanted to take care of? I immediately thought, can we move now? We can't. Yeah, right. But I thought like there's, we wanna move sometime next year and we have stuff in a storage unit

that is remote and we have stuff in our downstairs storage. And I'm just like, oh man, if I could, is there somewhere else I could take all this fucking shit to right now? Maybe we have a friend who needs help moving. Yeah, can I put it on the vlog of where I'm going? Yeah, that would be my first... If somebody was like, hey, you got to drive a truck for a week, I would be like, okay.

I know that there are at least six jobs that I have in the past two years where I've been like, ah, I'd really like to have a truck for this, but it's just not ever going to get done, I guess. Like there's like a couch I want to get rid of and stuff like that. Or I want to go camping. And now I know that I'm going to be able to fit everything and something, anything like that. But still, I already got rid of it, which is probably dumb. I could have asked around if anyone in my immediate family or friend group needed a

truck anytime soon, and I didn't think to ask that. I also, the one other topper to this story is I was leaving our parking lot this morning to get rid of the truck as my fiance was pulling in from her fitness class. And I was like, yeah, I'm swapping this out for a better car. And I drove away and I ran my errands and came back. And as soon as I got home, she was like, I meant to say you looked really hot in that truck. Like, no, no, fuck, fuck, fuck. No. That's fine. That doesn't mean I have to go back to enterprise and say, or whatever the company was.

It doesn't mean I have to go back and say, I changed my mind and need the truck. It does mean that one day I have to buy a truck. And that's fine. That's just the thing I'll have to deal with. Now contend with the fact that it works. That they keep making trucks bigger and bigger. And the people you see driving trucks, you're always like, what a fucking asshole.

And it works. It works. The one thing it's supposed to do, which is make you attractive to the opposite sex. No, that's so bad to find out. I hate knowing that. That's fine. I'm just going to be a truck for Halloween, I guess. I don't know. Optimus Prime? The hottest of all the Transformers. No, I think I'll just like be on stilts and have a big door that I lean my arm out and

I just walk around like that all the time. Oh, that sucks. Should we do the show? No, I'm bummed. I'm bummed now. I used to have- No, so we shouldn't do the show? I used to, when I, the first car that I learned on was a Toyota truck, a 1986 Toyota truck.

That was not the year in which I learned to drive. It was just a very old truck. And my dad came and got me from school, from high school, and he was like, we're gonna go learn. And I was like, okay. And it was one of those old trucks that has like, the stick shift is about, it's as long as a baseball bat and it's in the floor. And so it's got a bench seat and we went out in a blizzard

and I learned to drive in this thing. And I was like, should we do this a different day? And he was like, no, you should learn how to do it in the snow. got a bench seat and we went out in a blizzard and I learned to drive in this thing and I was like, should we do this a different day? And he was like, no, you should learn how to do it in the snow. And I was like, okay. And learn, you know, fucked up the transmission on this truck. I'm sure then drove that truck. That was my truck for a long time. And it was so bad. Like when four wheel drive, you had to get out of it and go switch over the hubcaps to four wheel-wheel drive in the front. Yeah. And then otherwise it was two-wheel drive in the back. And so it was like, if you got squirrely, it was the front of the car that was going to get squirrely, not the back.

And that was like a very scary thing. And having had a truck and having had a car now I'm like oh infinitely better. Having a car is like the only reason to have a truck there's two reasons you have to actually have to move things and haul stuff and ranch or whatever you're gonna do with it and then the other thing is it just you think it looks attractive to the opposite sex like you think this will make me more of a man. And it sucks to find out it does. Yeah. Yeah, sorry to break it to you. I also don't like my new tiny car, if I'm being totally honest. It's a real belly lock situation where I want my car back and that's all there is to it. But I'll get it back. And it's a crucial reminder that as far as accidents go, it's I'm very lucky that

it wasn't worse and that the other guy's insurance is covering everything and and blah blah blah I'm so grateful. You know we were just last episode we talked about the gift that I got you. We do need a new thing, a long-standing thing that's going to carry this show and I imagine something else is gonna go wrong here. I'm really looking forward to six years from now when you still don't have your car. That's what I'm saying. And you're still driving this camera.

That'll be fun. Or it would be great if like the sitcom version of this story is I find a different reason to go back to the car rental place every day and drive something new. Yeah. That'd be great. That is like laterally worse. Just like differently incorrect for me. Yeah. Until you're down to like golf cart. Like a street legal golf cart. And it's like, there's no doors. And when it rains, it's it's pretty miserable but other than that like I can really scoot around. So just a quick update this week I drive an ambulance now I

do have to do a little bit of the ambulance stuff that's just like the same way that if you have a helicopter you have to do some search and rescue by law so I have to like pick up like I might interrupt the podcast to save a life if I were just like take someone from a from I don't know I'll do GPS wherever they want to go. My dispatcher's a real hard ass. I'd have to leave right away. Yeah. All right let's get into the show. Great. Hey it's that time of year again where my son goes back to school and I'm reminded of all the apps that I downloaded the year before for his classes and for the extracurricular stuff that he was doing.

And you'd be surprised at how many of those things I was paying money for. I was. I didn't realize he had math games and I was paying a monthly subscription for him to play math games. Spoiler, he didn't like any of them. He didn't play them ever. And not until he goes back to school and I'm reminded, oh yeah, that thing. I wonder, I should go check on that. Oh, it's been slowly siphoning off money from my account for the whole year. Fantastic. Well, you don't have to live like I do. How much do you think

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That's rocket money comm slash qq rocket money comm slash qq I have a quick question for you Daniel shoot It hypothetically like let's say Harris runs on the campaign that she's gonna have a purge day, right? Purge is gonna be real. You're getting this is the very first purge day coming up. And everyone's excited. Everyone's giddy, obviously. Home Depot is full of purge decorations. What is the first illegal thing you have planned for the purge? Like, what are you excited to do on the Purge? And I can give you my answer first.

Before we get into that, outside of the giant viral skeleton that Home Depot is known for, what other decorations do you get from Home Depot? Why is Home Depot your go-to? Like there's a new holiday, and you know what that means. Home Depot is changing out their inventory to accommodate. Home Depot always has an- They're selling the same mulch from last season.

They have a carved out section of their store where it's like a whole gated community within a Home Depot where they decorate for whatever holidays coming six months in advance, right? At the beginning of August, there was already Halloween decorations at Home Depot. And it was like everything, all these things that, as you walk past them, they go,

ha ha ha, I'll give you some candy. No, they don't say that, but there's something better than that, obviously. And they've got skeleton cats. They've got all kinds of different lights, different things you can imagine. Now it won't even get to Halloween. It will be like October 20th and they're like, we're fucking done with Halloween. And there'll be a bunch of Christmas stuff out instead. And it's tons of Christmas stuff, stuff you didn't know existed. Big Santa Claus is that you put in your front yard that, that I have like a whole, they have like a voice commands that come with them and stuff like that. Okay. I'm glad. I'm glad that there's a,

an additional feature to them because I was, I was very insulted by what you think are the limitations of my imagination. When you said Christmas Christmas decorations you've never even heard of, Santa Claus for outside. Things you couldn't even possibly conceive of with your tiny little brain. An indoor tree, an outdoor man. Reindeer with Rudolph at the front, inflatable. Daniel, yeah. I get mad when I go into Home Depot because of what they do with these holidays and like how many decorations they have

that no one's ever gonna buy. Cause each of these things is like $400. And I'm like, who's getting this shit? First of all, if you got it, it's gonna have to live on your yard, which is pretty obnoxious for that time. And then you need another, it's like having another roommate. Like this is a whole nother person that you have to store for the rest of the year. That was more my question is, is who's going to

buy this because I guess I've never thought too deeply about it, but it seemed like Home Depot would be a bad place to advertise your holiday decorations, because I assume that holiday decorations are inspired by the whims of children, and there aren't children walking around Home Depot with their parents saying like, we need to get that giant witch for our house. But so I would imagine Targets or Walmarts

are better venues for displaying your decoration stuff. But then now I'm second guessing myself. Maybe it's not, maybe kids aren't saying we need a giant inflatable snow globe for our front yard. Maybe that is under the purview of adults and with their, their weird neighborhood competition stuff. And maybe Home Depot is the perfect place

because they've got so much space. I don't know. You're all just watching me think and talk. It is a situation. I don't think any of these are impulse buys. I don't think you're going to a store and being like, oh, if the kids will shut up, we'll get an 18 foot skeleton.

Like people are going with the intention of getting something big at Home Depot. And man does this stuff take up a lot of real estate. Okay, so anyway. They're hoping to get something big and not just savings. We're trying to get Home Depot to sponsor us. I would love to spend less money on our garden next year if Home Depot would just really, if we would be the first podcast for Home Depot to sponsor, that would be huge for the Carpenting and Gardening podcast that we accidentally run. I can't wait till you get a new place to live and we can actually do all of that.

We can actually talk about all that. Okay, so it's Purge Day. Purge Day is coming up and you're like, you got to prepare before Purge Day because you got to have in your mind, but you're Daniel, you're not a serial killer. You're a guy who's got, you're like, I should celebrate, I should do something illegal. What are you planning to do for Purge Day? And I'll tell you what I want to do, if you'd like.

Tell me yours first. Okay, on Purge Day, I'm committing insurance fraud. Okay, on purge day, I'm committing insurance fraud. I'm pretty excited about it because I don't have to go anywhere. I'm not out in the streets, so I'm not in a lot of danger. I'm assuming that I've also gotten my house locked down in a safe enough way that people aren't going to be breaking in to try and kill us. But I get to be on the internet and I get to commit insurance fraud because I imagine that a lot of people are making claims on Purge Day anyway because so much damage is being done.

It would be very easy to lump myself into that. The car insurance or house insurance or even, I don't know that life insurance would actually work, but the other two I can definitely get away with. And if I make those claims on purge day, and like, even if I have to show it, I have to like take pictures of the damage and stuff, I'm fine with that.

The great thing about it being purge day is that even if like the insurance company came back and they're like, we really looked into it and this seems like a false claim. I could be like, yeah, but it was purge day. So I'm off the hook. Like even if they don't give it to me, everything's okay. It's also the best. There's no risk.

Yeah, there's zero risk. And it's the day that everyone's making those claims anyway, because of the damage that's being done. So I feel like it's a really great opportunity for making those claims anyway because of the damage that's being done. So I feel like it's a really great opportunity for me to make money from companies that I already hate. That is the smart answer that the movies, to my knowledge, haven't explored is like, what are the crimes that can make you the most money

that aren't straight up looting or robbing because of all the inherent dangers that go along with that. I knew if I was smarter, my answer to this question would be some kind of fraud of some kind that wires a lot of money into my bank account. But I'm assuming this universe is the same as mine and I didn't suddenly become a finance genius at it. Right. My first thought was like, oh, I would go steal a Rivian. I'd go steal a bunch of cars. Then I was like, you don't know how to do that.

You have no idea how to do that. My first thought was there's a lot of curiosity involved in mind. And then I'll take you through my whole thought process and so you can see what I talked myself out of. But it was stealing cars to crash them into things to see what that looks like and sounds like. Like I would be very curious. My immediate thing was like, I want to get a car, put a thing on the gas pedal and watch it go off a cliff somewhere. But I talked myself out of that because, uh, a that's a lot of damage to the environment that I don't want to be responsible for

ever, let alone Purge Day, because I don't want them to cancel Purge Day in the future because of me. And B, I'm a little bit worried about. I'm such a baby, a little bit worried about driving on Purge Day. It seems like there's going to be a lot of people who are speeding. Yeah, yeah. People driving without licenses. Drunk, drunk driving.

What is the thing that I can do outside to satisfy basic curiosity that also won't put me in too much danger from other people who are doing much worse things on Purge Day. And I do think I would find a city and climb a bunch of buildings that you're not supposed to climb and try to jump from rooftop to rooftop. Like a thought that I've had on any rooftop I've ever been on while looking over the edge of it was, I bet I can parkour from here to there to there. Like I would always map out the route that I would do of running from rooftop to rooftop and just trying to like suss out, can I make this jump? The kind of things that you can't do, like a cop, they hate when you climb buildings.

They fucking hate it. They don't need to do it. And they probably hate when you jump across buildings too. And they would catch me if it was non-purge day. But I feel like my purge day, my very safe jaunt, my rumspringa that also would double as my workout for the day would just be like a lot of a couple hours of climbing and jumping things. A very Soarin' Purge day, if I'm being totally honest.

Yeah. And yours, as someone just sitting in front of your computer lying, is a very Daniel Purge day. We really swapped lives for the Purge. I just want to see what buildings I can climb up and I guess it doesn't need to be a city. I'm looking out my window now and I feel like some of these beach houses, they're like uniquely built for me to shimmy on up to their roofs and they're pretty close together because it's a beach town and real estate is at a premium here. I would like jump from rooftop to telephone poles and see what I can swing from and hang on to

and hopefully I do the whole thing without dying. But if I do end up dead on Purge Day, no one's going to think it's because I was doing something stupid. They're gonna think ah Purge what a bad idea. He got purged. I'm sure yeah. Yeah, he got he got purged This is we got it. We can't do purges anymore everybody because sweet thoughtful brilliant men Somebody dragged him up to a rooftop. Get smashed somehow I As soon as you said that you're gonna climb buildings

I immediately abandoned my own cuz I was like I can already think of I know. As soon as you said that you were gonna climb buildings, I immediately abandoned my own. Cause I was like, I can already think of six, just around where I live, where I'm like, I've wanted to climb that building so bad. And I know that I can. And I'm curious, like what it's gonna take from the point where I get to where like the bricks

are such a way that I can like, I could definitely get fingers in there. And then when I get to the top, what that transition is gonna be like, and I'm so excited to try it. Yeah. Yeah, I like that one. I think I would like to go climb some buildings as well and just be on roofs. That was a big part of my college experience was my friend, Jason Heidecker and I would try to figure out how many buildings on campus we could get on top of. And it turns out, all of them, we got on every building on campus.

And to this day, I know exactly how to get on every single building on campus. The church is the most fun. Man, there was this giant church at Rutgers when I was going to school that always had scaffolding around it for construction. And there was no way you can get up there because it's college and cops obviously know

that you're gonna try to climb up That thing but that might be exactly where I go on purge day It's just straight to there and just climb up that big beautiful church and and like Shimmy onto the top of the spire and be spider-man and look at stuff. Oh take pictures up there. Hell. Yeah I want to take a moment to Appreciate that when you were deciding on what to do on purge day You were worried that one of your purge ideas might be too much for Purge Day and they would cancel it.

You would do a thing in your brain that was like, you would think of that was so much worse than everybody else is that they would eventually like have to get on the news the next day and be like, Daniel O'Brien abused the power of Purge Day. He did too much. Right. Or if not even if they didn't even know it was me, but just some egghead, whatever the future version of like whoever the marine biology version of of of that wet blanket Anthony Fauci is, he comes out on the news the next day and is like, we tested the water

in the Atlantic Ocean. There's too many cars in it. Cause some people decided they would drive cars off a pier. We really tried to do something special. And that's fine if you're having a good day. But the, you have to understand the coral reef doesn't know it's purge day. And then I'd be sitting at home like, fuck, he's right. I knew that. Poor animals and their ecosystems that I destroy with the cars. We tried to do something really special for all of you. We wanted this to be a special day and some of you have just ruined it.

We wanted to give you the opportunity to kill each other. That you knew that the ocean was off limits. Everywhere else, everywhere else is fine! Perched in where everything is legal, even murder, except ocean stuff. Yeah. I also did briefly

think about going to the zoo and trying to free animals, but even that, I was thinking about the ramifications of that aren't, I've freed the animals and made them a lot happier. The ramifications are that I've probably gotten a lot of these animals killed, either from purge antics or because they're in a new ecosystem that they don't, a new environment they don't understand.

Or if it's just like the zookeepers who've're like, well, we woke up the night, like we all had our fun purge stuff too, obviously. I stormed the Capitol again, but then I came back to my job at the zoo and realized all the lions were gone. So now guess what? I have to go and shoot the lions because we can't have lions in the city.

But I mean, did they, did you kill them or did they get to live free for, for a whole day? That's true. Maybe I will free the polar bears. In moments of darkness or sadness, my mind does go to the polar bears. So maybe I would use the purge. They're just so big to be in those little enclosures. Everyone's doing their, they're trying their fun party drugs for the first time and speeding and I'm just like bolt cutters off to the zoo, freeing the polar bears, getting mauled by the polar bears who then like responsibly close their gate shut and go back to the environment

that they've come very accustomed to. I wonder how many friends you'd make there, because there's going to be other people at the zoo. I mean, the other people that are at the zoo on purge day, you've got to be like, what, what are you doing here? I think it's going to be really weird when I show with my ski mask and bolt cutters and they're like, what are you going to use? How are you going to fuck a monkey with bolt cutters?

I'm like, we're doing different things at the zoo, sir. Hahahaha. My thing is noble. Hahahaha. Why are you wearing a ski mask? It's Purge Day. Hahahaha. I don't know, I didn't think it through.

It's very hot. Hahahaha. Um, yeah, I- I also want to know, like, if the thing that you do on Purge Day has a really cataclysmic event after Purge Day, is it still allowed? Like am I allowed to have done the action on Purge Day knowing full well that the bomb's going to go off the next day? Yeah. Is that okay?

I don't know. I'm going to ask Kamala. I don't know if the movies are super clear about it. I imagine someone in one of those movies did float like the insurance fraud version of this, like the very smart, like, well, I go to such and such a place and I wipe out all of my debt somehow. I bet there's like the smart version of that or or something, but I don't know the way I From where I'm sitting those fat cats run in Wall Street. They don't need a purge day to do their crimes

Maybe I maybe I'd go on this is also like a really Satire my commentary about society. It was good. It was a really good... Your opinion is noted. Really stuck to the give us money Home Depot. This is another really sad little one, but it's like another thing that scares me is I'm curious what the dark web is. I want to even like see like, what does that look like? And I would, I'd be like, Oh, I'm going to go on the, on the onion, onion dot dot onion

or like whatever the, whatever, however you get to the dark web. And I'd be like, I'd look around, go, I go poke around just to see, just to see what kind of kooks are there. Yeah. I want to see if like people are like selling drugs and stuff. I want to see, Oh, look at all those bags of heroin that they're buying. Yeah, sacks.

Like Barry, the show Barry dramatized the idea of using the dark web to find hits, like murder hits. He's a hit man in the show. And the interface seemed like really simple and straightforward and silly. And I'd be very curious if like the Craigslist misconnections but for hit men is as straightforward as that.

If you go to a corner of the dark web and someone's just like, I'd really love someone to kill my boss. And it's just like, oh, there's really, there's like, you can just like, you can click me. You could say yes. And then you're suddenly in a dark web email exchange with the person.

Yeah, I mean, I would love to be able to just go in if it was like a chat room too. It's like, hey, does anybody wanna do this job for me? And there's like three people who are like, I could do that. I could kill those people for you. And you get to kind of watch the conversation. I would be, I'd be into that.

Other than that, I'm terrified. I'm terrified of the prospect of doing anything outside of my house. Right. I feel like the the the whole our engagement with this question for the podcast is structured on the foundation that like. My home is secure and my people are secure. Like, like there's- Right, can I go out and do something?

Because that's what makes it fun to engage in the hypothetical. The real answer is probably like, we stay quietly. We make ourselves as much of non-targets as we can be. And since there probably won't be delivery, we'll just, we'll eat shitty junk food. You know, we'll still make it a fun date night. We're not, we'll make it a Purge night

where the only rules that we break are the ones related to like our diet and staying up late and falling asleep on the couch instead of the bedroom. I would imagine, yeah, it's a shame that businesses are closed because it would be, I could do, I could see myself on Purge Day ordering some food through Uber Eats or something and then being like, guess what? No tip. Right. Or someone sees me eating a full cheese pizza and they're like, you know, on Purge Day,

you're supposed to do things you wouldn't ordinarily do. And I'm like, no, no, I know. I'm eating a whole lot of dairy here, buddy. I would get my food. I'm still going to feel the consequences, but like, I'm embracing the spirit of this holiday, sir. I might get my food and then, and then say I didn't get it. And even that poor guy working on Purge Day, doing his job, trying to make some money on Purge Day and because no one else

is working and I'm screwing him over. But yeah, what can you do, man? Them's the brakes. It's purge. I'm supposed to be an asshole today. It's interesting that we have taken this from different perspectives though. For me, it's like, my perspective is on purge day, I'm supposed to be a dickhead. On purge day, you are just supposed to do naughty things, things you weren't supposed to do. Yeah, that's what I think. Because I also like in my head. Neither of those are true by the way.

No. And when the Purge happens, I know that in the same way that like, you know, the people who, the worst people who don't need the Purge to happen so they can thrive in the world, your Jeff Bezos and whatnot, Worst people who don't need the purge to happen so they can thrive in the world. Your Jeff Bezos is and whatnot. All the people who like made a whole lot of their money because of investments they made when they saw the COVID pandemic happening or people who made their money. Anytime there's been a housing crisis or a city going to shit and they

know I'm going to buy up real estate because that place is going to be on the come up. People who've taken advantage of horrible situations. I know that I'm going to leave the purge and I'm going to read about someone who found some way, some skeezy way to make the purge work for them. And I'd be like, ah, fuck, I should have done that. It's always, there's, I knew it. There's, there's always some kind of evil thing that I that escaped my imagination. And I didn't. It's not like I spent a lot of time like sitting on a couch really like thinking, what are the how am I going to make this purge work for me? How am I going to wet my beak with this purge?

And at the end, you're going to be like, why didn't I? I have I'm a great thinker. I should have just sat down and really come up with a plan for how to make some money during this purge. And I didn't. Right. I'm going to have a neighbor who is like, I didn't steal cars from like companies or anything. I stole cars from people and I'm now giving the cars back to them for a certain amount of money. It's not a huge amount of money, but if I stole X amount of cars and I'm giving them back for two grand, I've made myself a nice little sum for vacation and none is the wiser.

And I'm like, fuck, all I did was climb a statue. Damn it. I pretended to be Spider-Man. That was so fucking dumb. Yeah. There's gotta be a way that I'm not thinking of for me to make a bunch of money on that day. And then I'm also like, the other thing that I don't really understand, I am the kid raising

his hand when they, they announced Purge Day and asking like, well, hold on a second. How are we, what, when, what if I do illegal stuff leading up to the Purge so that I can really culminate on the Purge where I do the most illegal thing? Like a lot of those people are using guns and stuff on the purge. Those people did not get those guns legally. Like there's a lot of those with filed off serial numbers and stuff. And you had to have done all of that in prep for the purge. So like, are you on the hook for that shit?

Yeah. Also, what if I'm so excited to call in a bomb threat on Purge Day that I do it as soon as it's midnight, but the establishment I call is in California where it's technically nine the day before. Oh, fuck. Yeah. It's not Purge Night for them. What are the rules there?

And at this point, as you and I are raising our hands and asking these questions in the classroom, everyone's like, I'm going to Purge that kid first. Yeah. Just making a target of yourself. I might do it like, I'm gonna purge that kid first. Yeah, just making a target of yourself. I might do it now. I'm just going to face the consequences. Yeah, I'm not gonna wait till purge day to kill that guy. I think, I mean, I'm no interest in violence on purge day.

I have no interest in wrecking somebody else's day by like stealing their car. I would wanna hurt businesses. I would wanna hurt businesses. I would want to hurt businesses. I would want to make money, but I don't want it to like come from other people. A bank, banks and insurance companies are like what I'm really going to target.

But even then I don't know what I'm doing other than an insurance fraud. That feels very easy. Also, I feel like I would enter the world with money after the purge and it would be like the way they treat Molly Bloom in Titanic. Yeah, you're not real money. Like yeah, I'm new. Oh, they're all whispering, oh, purge money. I'm like, what are you guys talking about? As I'm like eating caviar at the gala and they're all can like tell that

I don't really belong here and I made my money at the Purge like some fucking asshole. Molly Brown right? Yeah Molly Bloom is Molly's game. You caught me. That was my one Purge wish was to be wrong about a movie. The only day a year where I can let myself off the hook. It's also, the Purge movies, the first one came out before I had children. And now, and like, it's an enticing prospect to be like, oh, everything's legal. Oh, what a cool, fun thing. I'm going to go do mushrooms all day or whatever you want to do. But once you have children, if somebody announced a Purge day today, I would be like, fuck, we're moving.

I'm not staying here. I'm not having Purge Day with kids. That's going to be... Yeah. You'd be dumb to stay. I think a Purge, an actual real life Purge would immediately be fine for you. I imagine white, middle and upper middle class families would have some kind of like, okay, where are we going? You would find out in advance on not the dark web, the white web, on Nextdoor. You'd find out on next door where all of the families are going in a safe place.

That was like, yeah, we've hired a private security team and they're not going to suddenly purge out on purge night because we've paid them a lot of money and they are going to protect. We're all going to Catalina Island and we have private security that is going to protect all of us and there's only a certain amount of tickets and they're very expensive. It would be like an annoying crock of shit and like I think one of the Purge movies explored it as like a class, like the first Purge was specifically like we're going to use this to have the poor people wipe

each other out kind of thing But that does seem like the most realistic Purge like we would find out about a purge and then I would meet me immediately find out like okay But where's the place where it's like where it's actually safe and it would remain actually safe the entire time Unfortunately That's... you're absolutely right. That's what it would be. The rich people are not going to suffer anything on Purge Day.

No, rich people would watch on the news and watch all of the poor people dying, trying to steal Lamborghinis. And all the rich people are like, I don't know, donating to super packs and donating and buying stocks of whatever it is that rich people buy when other people suffer, whatever. The things that they've been doing to make money off tragedies since time out of mind. The fucking fat cat CEO at Home Depot, he's gonna be just fine. You know what? This settles it. I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna climb their house on the purge. Oh, I bet they'd hate that. They would they would be all the way up there. You get shot. They've got guys. They've got for sure. And imagine those guys. Those poor guys got to work on purge day. I know that sucks. Maybe

they can purge on Labor Day. Yeah. Like Purge Day is one day a year for everyone except Labor Day is like if you didn't get to do it. Yeah. Maybe that's the secret is that you can, you can do anything on Purge Day except work. You're not allowed to work. And so like you don't, you can't hire somebody to do something for you to like protect you. You're on your own. All right, I think we solved it. I think Purge Day is coming up. All right, everybody, thank you for listening.

This has been a quick question with Sorrent Daniel. Did you know that you can follow Daniel or I on Blue Sky? We're almost exclusively, we think about what we would do on the Purge. You can also follow this podcast on X if you wanted to. It's, I don't know what the address is. It's a quick question, something like that, QQ. I don't know, you'd find it.

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but both of them work together and they are both wonderful and equally hard to find. Wonderful guys. Oh, if you want to watch this podcast, if you didn't watch it, you can watch it on YouTube. You'll also catch clips of it that show up on Instagram or on TikTok and just make it part of your feed. Watch one to completion and after that the algorithm will be like you know what I know it I know this guy likes Soren and Daniel and that's all you'll get served up. All right bye. I wanna hear your thoughts, wanna know what's on your mind I've got a quick, quick question for you, alright The answer's not important, I'm just glad that we could talk tonight

So what's your favorite? Who did you get? Who would I be if you remember? Words without words, word and all that Going on Oh, forget it I saw a movie, Daniel O'Brien Two best friends and comedy writers Oh forget it Saw her in movie, Daniel O'Brien

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