Red Scare - PERV Headquarters w/ Delicious Tacos

Episode Date: June 11, 2023

Author Delicious Tacos joins the ladies to talk about Neon Genesis Evangelion, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, and more.

Music All right. Well, TVD when we post this. Yeah, we're back. It'll be soon. We're back at it and we have a very special guest. Fucking a it's been a long time coming. Um, Steve Sayler. That's right. Listen, I just want to tell you guys that the 13 and 52% of statistics is actually understated. Blacks commit 78%. If you really look at it, I've done a curvilinear regression. And actually, if you look at videos of a white criminal, you can see that there's hints that they're just wearing Caucasian makeup. And stealing cars. We're all in Steve Seller's suit closet.

I love Steve. Steve is such a kind, like warm man. He's clearly a little bit more. That's what everybody says. But imagine if you did this whole episode as Steve Seller, though. No one would know the difference. I would have to prep. I would really have to prep.

Like 13.52 is the only racist stat that I know. I guess like one standard deviation of IQ lower. You'd have to go deep method and really become a racist. I would have to be like, the reason that they can't understand what it feels like to not have had breakfast this morning is a specific area in the amygdala that is underdeveloped in Bantu populations. I don't understand the breakfast meme. So it comes from 4chanchan a guy that worked allegedly a guy that worked in a prison

Said that most prisoners have such a low IQ that they cannot process counterfactual hypotheticals Okay, so if you ask them about something that did not occur and you imagine if it did like right and I imagine if you like Didn't smoke a cigarette, but we look at my fucking pit stain dude. Holy shit It's so humid. Do you want us to turn the AC on? It's a little theory of mine that I guess people listening didn't need but It's it's a hundred percent humidity. It's like thundering and I used to like dry heat anyway. So yes, he's not nervous at all. Yes still like dry heat. Anyway, so yes, he's not nervous at all. Yes. I'm so I'm I've been terrified about this podcast all week long.

Why should we introduce our guest? Before we. It's delicious tacos. Hey, what's up guys? Ladies and gentlemen, um, I'm here of the pussy. The pussy, um, finally some good news. Yeah, and uh, Sam spirit the unicorn and the pussy is the pussy is on sale for

RedScare listeners this week for three dollars if you go to Amazon. Is there a code? There's a special you just have to telepathically you can make it into your RedScare and it'll be three dollars for you all week long. What a good deal. Yeah thank you Dasha. They won't even pay five dollars to subscribe to our pod what makes you think. I you know I pay I'm a fucking financial supporter of the pod and Dasha pays for my substax I do yeah making money off this That's how the economy. It's yeah, yeah, it's like the Episode of you some butthead where they just sell each other candy bars with the one dollar they have Wait, so yes if you ask the prisoner

Yeah, how would you feel if you didn't eat breakfast? Black prisoner. Yeah, there would be a prisoner of any race. The majority of which are black, you ask them, how would you feel if you didn't eat breakfast, they would say, but I did eat breakfast. But I did eat breakfast. They don't understand. Yeah, yeah.

You would say, but I did smoke a cigarette. So you wouldn't. She doesn't get it.'s like but but why do you do that? That's the actual high-pethatocomy IQ is the highest because I don't even know what that is There really got another galaxy brain plane of intelligence. That's the real horseshoe theory Yeah, the lower IQ you get you become more of a genius. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, like a Buddha like genius Not caring like simply stealing what you need. Yeah, and pushing the old lady on the train tracks when you, when like the spirit moves you. And not eating breakfast makes you prone to even greater

flights of creativity and artistry. Exactly right. Many religious figures have been known to. Which is why they're so good at r. It's the best thing experiences. Yeah. I just so sure. You try free styling. Yeah. Could it be me? I don't buy this. I don't think black people are stupider. I'm speaking and this is this is all like I'm speaking in characters. Yeah yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No. This is your real views are that they're not. Yeah. Love. I.Q. Yeah. I think I love the blacks, the Jews, the women, and so forth. The shelter pets.

Sam, I love when I meet a person on the internet, and they're actually a feminist ally, and not a misogynist, such as yourself. You also don't take this the wrong way. Oh, shit. Seem, look, a lot more intellectual than I was expecting. You look like an indie musician. I heard you look like a... That's such a neg.

No, no, no. You're making a huge noise. Good because I see a thought bubble of like what I looked like with a toothless fucking retard in it. Like this is Delivery Talk. I'm excited to have him in my house. I heard you look like Tony Hawk. Yeah, do I look like Tony Hawk? You look a little like Hamilton Leigh Hauser from one of my favorite indie bands, The Walkman. I don't know. I look like I'm not a bad looking dude. Like I'm like a high-mid guy I would say.

I think like with like if I were simply the you know 100% mild-mannered office dork like I probably wouldn't laid, but I look all right enough that with my online persona and having written decent books and stuff. Which is way more off-putting and alienating than you are in the flesh. But okay, you're a good looking guy. You have a really good voice. So what the fuck is wrong with you?

Good question. That's what we like to ask our guys whenever they come on. Well, I'm glad you asked. You know, nine years ago, I realized that the way to a better life was alcoholics anonymous. But I'm also a sex and love addict. So I'm doing sex and love addicts anonymous now. And I'm really glad to be doing it

when I have this reading tomorrow in New York, where it's just like the one time in my life when like Pussy is gonna throw itself at me. You'll be shocked at how many men are gonna be up in there. You're gonna have to help me out. You guys, you guys are gonna be the only girls in the world. It's not gonna be a Pussy buffet, but there will be women there

There's like a women there for Jordan Castro author of the novelist sex symbol Jordan Castro Well, he's married married very but Protestant Christian devout. Yeah, he's the ladies now Are you dating Matthew Davis or did you break up? We broke up like Six months ago, but we've been uncoppling, you know, I'm sorry, Matthew, we've been uncoppling slowly and it's very fraught. And, you know, we're still friends, but it's been, I don't know, we don't want to get back together. We should just, I don't know.

But it's good to be going into that, like not thinking about pussy. Like I'm a, like I go to third world countries and fuck prostitutes and like, I get attached to like horrible BBD women and like, you know, get put myself in terrible situation. I mean, does it sound like you're not thinking about pussy? I mean, he's a gnatic. He's in for cover, and I'm not. Right. But that was my next question. Have you ever paid for sex? Oh, yeah. I don't know. What country, what nation has the best prosties? Uh, the Philippines. Hmm.

If you have a lot of money. I've heard that before. If you really? Better than Thailand. Yeah, better than Thailand. Why? Because they like you, because they're nice like- They're better actresses.

Real media people. Maybe, I don't know. I mean, I'm not saying they, who knows, but like they're just- They're sweet. They're like warmer more romantic people and You know whatever Thailand is nice to they're all nice like look America has I don't I land a smiling culture. Yeah, the land of smiles. I don't I don't mean to disparage our face and stab you in the back Kickboxes savagely

But yeah, I I love I used to back this the old me on before the Lord took me into his ring. Men in slot like six months. I've been doing I've been going to meetings for a long time, but I've been I've been doing like withdrawal for six months, which means like I don't jerk off very much and like I don't like a porn and I don't like flirt with women and I don't. You're avoiding occasions for sin and intrigue. Correct.

Do you think Filipino prostitutes are the warmest best prostitutes because they're Catholic and they have the grace of God on their side and are saved? There's certainly, well, that's a good question. They're Catholic and they're also weirdly like backwoods. Like, Philippines is a crazy place. It's an island of, it's an island or a pesto. And there are places that are just fucking backwoods. So like people believe in vampires,

and they believe that if you go swimming on your period, you'll get pregnant by a fish and give birth to a merman. Like there's crazy shit. So... Oh true, yeah. So it's... what's... they're just like a warm hospital people. So they're prostitutes. Meanwhile, Japan had the worst hucker experience I've ever had. Really? By far. Do you want to... yeah, do you want to unpack? Yeah, I went, I was in a work trip to Japan.

Yeah, and... Salary man? Yeah, I went to a soap land, which is, this is this legendary experience where you go in a hot tub and the hooker sensuously, like gaysha-like experience, like she washes your balls with soap and I don't know what the fuck. I don't know what I, I don't know what I was expecting.

They just in fact, like, Ijen. But I go into, yeah, that's what it was, I go in the place and like, before they give me a hooker, the guy comes out and gives me a lecture that I, like, please, you know, don't beat her, don't abuse her, like they really thought that I was like, please, you know, don't, like, don't beat her, don't abuse her. Like, they really thought that I was a demonic Sasquatch. Uh-huh.

And then they make you wear that fitting room face guard. That's how they treated me at the Shiba Cafe. They said, don't grab them, don't hold them, just touch them. Yeah. And then I get in there and like, she has like, this alleged soap is like shit that like kids blow bubbles with like that like watery liquid soap and she's like She's robotically, you know like Japan people are not expressive and so she's like robotically washing me down

but I could sense through the veneer of washing me down, but I could sense through the veneer of Japanese civilization that she was annoyed. And then when she was fucking me, I could tell that she hated me. I could tell that she hated me and was disgusted. Well, it seems to you. And I looked in her eyes and saw hate breaking through her oriental inscrutability. That's when I came. Do you feel guilty about patronizing hookers?

I have not done an eight step in SLA. You haven't done the searching. I was gonna ask is there, do you make amends and sloth? I don't know how I'm gonna make amends to... Oh, I'm gonna say. Yeah, I gotta get in a plane. It's like an Indiana Jones graphic of the plane flying all over the world.

He like trying to find like, you were 12 and everything. Not that guy must clarify, these were all adults. We believe he had. All adults, it used to be people would be like, oh, you go to the Philippines, you're fucking a lady boy, I'd be like, Tee, he, and now people are like, you're raping a child.

I'm not dude, I'm fucking, I'm fucking 35 year old, like relax. She has like three kids. She has six teeth, like a formidable. That's what it was, maybe it was, they shaved a goat and gave it to me. Well, maybe I'm such a lib, like because I've even gotten like, I haven't ever paid higher services

or rent boy or anything like that. But even getting like massages in Thailand, where they like kneel down in front of you and wash your feet. And like it's this whole elaborate, like really ritualistic, slavish kind of thing. It did make me, I really wanted to be like, you don't have to. Just, I do feel like Lydia Lydia Tar you had to go outside and P you basically yeah, I

Feel I just felt guilty About the How little money it was for me to pay them to Pleasure me and that wasn't sexual really yeah when you say pleasure you. I just mean to touch my body to have some intimate, I feel guilty getting waxed. Whatever they're getting a fucking hazy. We all have to fucking go to work. Like, here's how I look at it.

It's not the biggest crime in the world to have to fuck me, right? Or even to have to rub my back. Like, sorry, it's not the biggest tour in the world. I gotta go to a, I mean, it's not comparable to me making comparisons. Yeah, I have a hero, she even, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know,

it's not pleasing a man as far from the hardest job. There is. No, I mean, it is very hard if you hate us gods. The difference between a good sexual experience and a bad sexual experience, whether it's paid or unpaid is the emotion. Yeah. Also in Southeast Asia, when you're fucking a hooker, most of the time, you're going to

a girly bar and they can say no to you. Like you go through this whole process, they're dancing, I mean, you know, whatever, they're obviously they can't say no to everybody and they need the fucking money, but they're dancing on a stage. You pick one and you, you know, so-called buy her a drink. In other words, you pay for some overpriced apple-favored beer for her to drink and sit with you and then talk to her and like, you can ask her to come to your hotel with you and she can say no. They often do.

They want. They want for her to dissociate. They want, so a lot of them will only fuck Korean guys because they don't want, you know, they need a smaller dick. They can't take a fucking full-sized Caucasian sauce. Okay, Steve's Taylor. Yeah, this is the... We think like an Anthony Bourdain type show, no reservations for Steve's Taylor, but

he does text tourism. He just has race. When I was like, hostess, I've talked about this on this show before, but I had a strict no-armenian policy, no offense, Anna. No, I get it. I was strict no-armenian. I would not go and never touch an Armenian man. Guy, no way. They're the worst. They'll fucking rape you chop your head on. It's a strange race. It's like a Mexican Jew. Yeah, they are.

I love Armenians. I love them as, you know, but as a hooker. I literally don't want to meet them. You guys, I'm sorry. They've got like, it's Jew tits, Mexican ass, and like a brain in the middle. Damn. But I love Armenian people.

I fuck, Armenian people have been great to me. You live in LA. Yeah, they're wonderful. I mean, I used to live in little Armenia. It was crazy whenever the Armenian Holocaust anniversary would come and like, you know, everyone's black Mercedes had like six Armenian flags on it and, you know, whatever.

They can get a little salty too. Yeah, I'm gonna go sailor mode and say, you know, there's like an ongoing turf war happening in LA at all times between the Armenians and the Mexicans that like spills over into the high schools where they like shoot and stab each other. Yeah, a lot of them belong to gangs. They used to be allies, that was a big like when the the South Siders and the Armenians like

I don't know what the fucking name of the gang is No, it's fine. It's fine. The Mexican do it too. It's fine Mexican Armenian gangs used to be friends, I think and then they brought there was a break somehow which the stupid Armenians probably initiated like What are you fucking think? Well it dawns on me that the reason that they have the be for a rivalries because it's like the narcissism of small differences. They're both small mountain people who are shaped like coolers or side tables. Jesus Christ, Steve. They have the same like minion physique. Right. The Arminoid is built for

for stoop labor and vegetables. Yeah. So what step are you on? The Arminian swings from the trees and his home country. Well, you know, uses crude stone tools. Tacos, I read all of your books during the pandemic as I mentioned to you and Because I was looking for some kind of lightweight lighthearted Mail author to Radica with like a misogynistic twist. I didn't want to get into any theory or like Dostoyevsky I'm a man. You know, it was all a blur like everything during the pandemic was but the one line that sticks out at me was About how you've referred to some woman as like a chicken coop cleaner. Did I say that?

Yeah. You sure did. Shit. Sorry, honey, whoever you are. Yeah. She was probably Armenian. Maybe, dude. Uh, yeah, I don't.

I've had wonderful experiences with Armenian women, so I can't trash them. And they're, they're, you're having one right they're not like they're not like, you know, Mexicans are a different but Mexicans are like cactus Irish Armenians are as I'm sure a sailor would back me up on this, especially as you say the the I.I.N.s are like, you know, all fucking one fort like all my doctors are Armenian the best doctors. Because they have like, you know, the Jews cunning, but a warmer, more compassionate middle note to it. Right. Well, because they're like Middle Eastern people, I guess.

I wonder if there's an IQ differential between the IANs and the YANs. Anyway, we're really getting off topic now. We're getting off course. Let's go back to talking about sloths. What's step where you are? I'm on my six steps. So I have made my list of character defects.

So here, the 12 steps of a 12 step program, like alcohol, exonatomis, are we admitted we were powerless and our lives have become unmanageable, came to believe that a power greater than ourselves gives restores of sanity, made a decision to turn our will and our lives over the care of God as we understood him,

made us search again fearless moral inventory. So that's step four, and that's where you write down. You do that by writing down everyone that you resent, and what your part in the resentment is, and what it affects, what aspects of your life it affects. And then from there, you figure out character defects. I've figured out my top 10 character defects.

Can you say what they are? I don't remember the month to take my head. It's like ego, insecurity, fear, cruelty. Because it's slots, making women my higher power, Remember the most in my head. It's like ego, insecurity, fear, cruelty. Because it's slots, like making women my higher power, making sex, my higher power. It's your making a funny face, it's like look over and say that I'm making women my higher power.

But like, so it's focused on things that are fucked in my romantic aspect of life. And what I'm doing now is writing a little essay about why how each character defect has served me in life, and then why I want to be rid of it. And the one I'm working on is ego, right? Like ego has served me because I felt like an ugly piece of shit my whole life, and it helps me to be like,

look in the fucking mirror and not hang myself. But I want to be rid of it because I want to be a fucking normal person. Like you're right. I want to like have like a house in a family. I don't want to fucking, I don't know. I'm tired of like... If you want something you've never had before you have to do something you've never done before. It's right, Donna. That's an AA, is that my...

That's right. I miss interpretive. As I did many of them. Like you're as sick as your secret. Yeah. I use that as an excuse to talk about my sex addiction. Alright. Get more attention from that.

I know. Oh my god. I wouldn't want to be sick. Right. You're definitely like, you're a dangerous, I can tell you're a dangerous part. You're obviously a nice good person, but obviously you're a dangerous woman.

Why do you say that? I just, there's something about talking to you that triggers my instincts to find... To fuck me. No, I mean, look, obviously. like triggers like my instinct to find. To fuck me. Yeah. Not, I mean, look, I'd obviously, I would fuck either of you if I were, if I, in another lifetime, right?

But like, to find like women that are gonna make me like hang myself from a pipe. There's like a little radar in me that finds those women and like it just pings. It pings. Why, why do men want that in a woman? Is there like, there's some, you know, my therapist would say like, it's some secret death wish. Like I just wrote a story about this in my new book, like the guy has toxic plus Moses and the girl has BPD. So his like his cat shit parasite that makes him like lust after dangerous women draws him to her and her BPD draws her to him and then she's trying to get him to.

Well, yeah, that's why women are drawn to cats. Yeah, also because we're all infected with the parasite. We are. It's like handle cat shit to get to cats. Yeah. Also because we're all infected with the paris. We are. Yeah. It's like handle catch it to get to get. I've had cats all my life and I don't think I have toxoplasmosis or a BPD. I don't think it a BPD. I certainly have toxoplasmosis. Really? I mean, I like medical diagnosis. But you're a cat man. Yes. And I'm also. Which is a big big red flag going to fucking Cambodia to fuck Yeah, my waitress from the girly bar which and then like riding around a fucking scooter with a helmet You know, I think around 300 to 50 300. Oh, that's not bad. What's yours? That's high?

I'm not saying mine because she can't take because she said it already I know I it actually bothers me when people trash you for it It really does like people are fucking up tied about this like you can You can turn your life around and do whatever you want at any time I was Dissociated for most of those so what's the big? I mean also I repressed him like you It's not it's not a crime to fuck. It's okay to fuck. It's a sin, but yeah, maybe I don't think it's a

technical premarital sexes I think the body count Discourse is fake and gay because It's just resentment. My rule is you listen to whatever right wing and on guys are saying On the internet and assume the opposite. Nobody wants a British, Virgin, old, tradwife. People want a rowdy, slutty party girl that makes them feel good.

You don't want one that's like really dark and fucked up or maybe you do initially and then you learn really quickly. But everyone wants a girl with a moderate body count. The trad shit is the new smell my finger. Like it's a branch of PUA where it's like, look at my, you know, it's like, look at my fucking farmhouse in Utah and my blonde children. It's the new like, look at this fucking broad that I fucked, right?

It's a new, it's like this weird bragging, nagging make you feel bad, often used to sell you things, but a complete horseshit and all anti, it's like tread is a conspiracy to pull people away from God the way these people fucking act. Like this is, like people say, like cruel judgmental things.

Did God tell you to say that? Did God tell you to say that? Jesus who famously hung out with tons of prostitutes. That's right, just like me. Just like you, yeah. No, but it is, it's anti-meticol. Jesus, Jesus preferred Filipino prostitutes. That's why the country is Catholic.

But no, it's anti-thetical to the whole premise that they claim to espouse by making it into this branded gesture where then they try and sell you jerky or whatever. Yeah, whenever I go on Twitter and I see the kind of like seepia tone photographs of my Utah farmhouse and my beautiful white children, I just think like murder suicide. Yeah, or yeah, closeted gay or something. Yeah, whatever, that's a...

Also, can we just talk about briefly how Unreligious and godless it is to like pimp your kids out on the internet. Yeah, complete for likes from guys who are possibly pedophile I Mean if people are really living that life Great and that is on some level what I ultimately want Well, there are those people who are living that value for closer to God and so therefore they're not on the internet. They're not Twitter addicts. Yeah.

We need a Twitter addicts anonymous. There is like a internet addicts anonymous for sure. No. Which I'm not going to make money on this. I'm not going to draw the line somewhere. You guys think porn addiction is real. I saw you sounding off about that. I'm on going to, I'm sorry dude, I make money out of this. I gotta draw the line somewhere. You guys think porn addiction is real. I saw you sounding off about that. I'm on the fence.

I think some people who are more, just, I don't think everyone who watches porn is a porn addict, but I think people who are more predisposed to addiction have dopamine imbalances such as myself can yes, very easily become a very addicted to pornography. That's how I ended up in slot. Porn was by far the easiest thing to go about.

I felt no different. I have a VR helmet and I would fucking jerk off to Japanese VR porn. Or the woman's like, oh, she's, it's like you're really there, and she's really in your face. And I was choking the chicken with that five times a day. And I simply stopped and it was no problem.

I just jerked off to like memories of having sex. With the VR helmet. I think, I think J. Owing to Memories versus porn produces like a better orgasm. I agree. Yeah, well, so the issue is. porn is a very shallow orgasm, always. When I started going to Slavs,

because I realized it had been literally a decade that I had not gone a single day without watching pornography and basically could not have an orgasm. What were you watching? Like, excrecingly out there. No, I don't I don't think I don't know if The Acha house is but like I can't watch Russian porn because it's like too close because they're like oh But oh I did yeah, and it's just disgusting to hear like those voices and act a sexy I don't like to I was really into um because of this Shoplifting one where they take the girls and the girl. Yes, because I liked that it was the surveillance camera footage and they would blur the man's face out because I never want to see a man's face.

I barely went. I don't know what to say is balls. I want to see a ski mask or like blurring. I don't want to deal with all that. But it was it wasn't in the dark. I mean the darkest was literally like girls like deep-throating dildos Like stuff that's like bad. It's kind of bad because it's like this is so divorced from It's like you do with sex. I'm just getting off on like weird Well, that's what that is what happens when you get porn you obviously get to sensitize So you seek out more like I get off to Russian drone footage of Ukrainians getting so you seek out more. Like I get off to Russian drone footage of Ukrainians getting

killed in a tent. A guy praying in a trench. I go on red out. Oh, no, I don't. Yeah, I just, now I just read me in comments about myself. Yeah. You're like, ah. No, but so I do think it's legitimately

can be addictive, just like gambling, just like anything. Well, anything can be addictive. Yeah. But I'm wondering if there's. Anything that stimulates your dopamine. What I'm asking, like philosophically speaking, is any addiction really real?

Yes. I don't know. Yeah, well, it's a question for the philosophy. Like, is anything real? Are we real? Are we all living in a simulation? What's your heart for? What if you had not had breakfast this morning?

How would you feel? I didn't have breakfast. What if you didn't check up for an object? It's going to take a longer period of time this morning. What if you didn't watch that rape video last night? But I didn't go to sloth for very long and then I eventually was also in therapy at the time. And I personally, I'm glad it's,

see, it's been working for you, but I don't think the 12 steps work so much in that department because I think it's symptomatic of other things. And when I figured out other stuff in my life, like the sex and porn stuff kind of felt, I was able to be, I mean, like, compartmentalized at a propion.

I'm not like a slant salesman, like, you know, it's fine, like, but I will tell you, like I said all the same shit as you, like, compartmentalized that appropriate. I'm not like a slump. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. Like, you know, it's fine. Like, but I will tell you, like, I said all the same shit as you. Like, I'm in therapy. I'm in Allen, I'm doing all this other stuff for my sex and love stuff.

And it's because I didn't want to stop, you know? Well, because it also runs the gamut. Like, for me, it was useful because I had a really specific. I wanted to stop watching porn. And I would be like, crying in meetings like an agony being like, I did it again. I can't stop doing this and But like there's people in slah who are like sexual anorexics

So I have like it's like any any intimacy issue falls under the slah umbrella So it seems like and how do you deal with something like that if you like are afraid of intimacy you just can't abstain really from humanity unless you join the human instrumentality project. Oh yeah. Why do they have to choose such a plosive and sexual sounding acronym, SLAW? I know. I don't think the noise that's produced when like a dick enters a vagina.

It's a hot thing. I don't remember hearing SLAW. Maybe you wanted to say after you're not. Yeah, they should have called it SNL. I always yeah, sex and in love. Yeah, love. But yeah, you're not here to sell people on. He's here to sell some books. But for me, I like to sell some books. It's funny, like the sex, giving up the sex part was incredibly easy. Giving up what fucks me up is like, I still want to like, I want to text my ex. Intrigue addiction. Yeah, you want to get back together, my ex.

You want to create chaos and drama. You don't want to get back together with your ex. You want to stir some shit. Yeah, I want her to want to go back to the room. Yeah, but that's why I ask is like porn addiction. That's why I'm here because she's fucking this is a redskinned. By the way, I really, the first time I really started looking into this show was, so I talked to you guys about a traumatic experience I had that I'm not supposed to discuss yet. So it's too bad because it would have made good progress.

Well, we can vaguely, we can vaguely talk about it. So whatever. Yeah, but right after that, so it was like months before I could date again. And then the next date that I went out on was this young like art girl. And she just, she was like, you know what, I'm just going through a ho phase.

So I kind of wanted to like date an older guy and see what it's like. And I'm like, well, you're fucking. These girls on RedScare told me. It's like, it was like, it came to the right play. Well, it was like, well, do you know, I'm delicious tacos. Yeah, I'm the writer, delicious tacos. She's like, no way. It was like, yeah.

So I got her back to my place and I took her pants off. She's wearing fucking RedScare panties. Oh, wow. I couldn't believe it. And I knew that like this was a, this is a safe person to be with. I'm gonna have a little experience. You know this bitch is wearing those panties

every time she goes on a date. Probably never washes them. We should make some more of those. There's a good market for them. So you hadn't heard of us prior. I had heard of you. Right. My ex actually, it's really into you. A lot of girls prior. I had heard of you. Right. My ex actually is really into you.

A lot of girls that I know are really into you. I should mention that I should say, my friend Bri is really into RedScare. My friend Lara is really into RedScare. Emily, I gotta give them. You made them fished. I made them fished. I thought out Emily.

So yeah, and then, but that's when I started listening to you guys. And I actually, I must say, like, you are the best and possibly the only good podcast in existence. You are the greatest living podcasters by far. Oh, that's right. I love Caribbean rhythms, too. Obviously, BAP is not a podcast. I thought you were going to say that we were the premier female podcast.

No, BAP is BAP. What BAP does transcends a podcast. By the way, I've given Bap two pieces of advice. Number one was when he wrote Bronze Age Mindset and he sent it to me and he's like, should I publish it? What do you think? Do you like this book?

And I was like, yeah, man, it's great. Like, ship it. Like, publish it as is. Like, sanity, it's great. Don't fuck with it. And so the second thing is like, I'm going to do podcast. And here is what I do. I do, I do, I do Russian accent and Disguise my voice and I do classical music. I do it like a broadcast production value

Excellent. Really different. And I was like, I was like, dude, you're gonna get so tired of doing that accent It's never gonna work. It's gonna don't do it, you know, and now he's like whatever. He's richer than Chris Ace for me. It's he does it perfectly. He's going to put me out of business. And it helps him access something. Do you get the point? No, no, I just do voices on the pod because I'm a shine introverted person.

So it's the way that I access higher power. So-hmm. So yeah, he does a great job. Racism. And that's- Thank you. Thanks for saying that. I went on BAP's podcast and then afterwards in AA meetings, I would share and then people would be like, aren't you that guy from Caribbean rooms? Oh, wow, yeah.

So much for- Well, that's a scary thing about AA because I've been to a few meetings and inevitably because it's new work It's like kind of a social scene and it's like a networking opportunity and that really like in LA throws a wrench in your plans Like are you an alcoholic? No No, no, I'm not I don't think I'm any addict of any sort. I'm just a deeply... Are you an alcohol addict?

Trouble person. No, my name is Anna Katz. And I am a podcast fan. No, I just like to drink. Yeah. I'm not an alcoholic. I am. Well, you were talking about getting sober,

and I get really, I have like, alanon issues too, right? So like, obviously whenever I hear you guys talking about getting sober, I'm like, ooh. I can say, I'm gonna save them. I'm gonna get on there and like, Alan on issues too, right? So like, obviously whenever I hear you guys talking about like getting sober, I'm like, ooh. I can say, I'm gonna save them. I'm gonna get on there and like, I'm gonna take them to the 12 step meeting that really like turns them around.

One time I tried to go to a, sorry. One time I tried to go to a slow meeting, and I showed in like West Hollywood, I showed up late, and there were all these people sharing about how like, their mom had too many mimosas at lunch and stuff and I was like, what the fuck? I was like, these people don't seem like sex addicts so they're all bitter and shit.

And then I was like, oh, this is an owl. I think they're like sloths in the other room. Alana is such a weird one. I love Alana and I've got a lot out of doing the stepwork. It's hard to find a good meeting because it's all like women talk. Better. Women talking about how proud they are that they've stayed with their abusive boyfriend. doing the step work. It's hard to find a good meeting because it's all like women. Ditter. Women talking about how like proud they are that they've stayed with their abusive boyfriend.

Yeah, yeah. You're like your your bitch mom and abusive boyfriend sound fun. Whatever works, but like yeah, I'm like, okay, so you just love alcohol. You're worse than alcohol because you just love alcohol. Yeah, or yeah, or but you it's about your desire to control other people. Yeah, yeah. I would have tended to. That's the meeting I should have gone to before coming on here and like asking you intrusive questions about your sex addiction like Dasha when's the last time you jerked off to porn and you've been what you've been using porn

P&M they call it pornography and masturbation like how my sponsor like how's your P&M use going as P&M? Pornog P. Oh, and the one thing they can do at PNM but not SNL. One thing that annoys me about Slah is that you're not supposed to say specific things about your sex behavior. Because someone might get more angry. Fucking triggered, yeah. So like you can't say Tinder, you can't say you met a guy on Grindr or whatever it is. So the meetings are kind of, the meetings are very gay. There's a lot of like selfcastrated putses that are very,

like, use a lot of therapeutic language and feminist language to flagulate themselves, which maybe I should be doing at this point. I mean, but... Well, that's why you're here. It's too, it's very specified in gay, but I promise you, it fucking works, it's working for me. It works if you work it and you're worth it. I say this with six months in like tomorrow I'll be, you know, tomorrow I'll be fucking

a tranny and. No. So I am. I know exactly which one to. Oh, no. No, working I will have a good time. My P&M consumption has, I, in lieu of the program, became religious. Not solely for a mother, but mystical and spiritual reasons, but that's definitely like tampered my P&M because I usage, because I just feel like a normal normal.

I feel like it's not spiritually fortifying. It's not virtuous. And I have like a rubric through which I can like understand my behavior and try to maximize virtue and like limit vice basically though with you know, whatever. Human frailty. What's your prayer practice like? Oh my God.

Like internal reflective prayer. I mean, I go to church. I pray at church. I'm not asking you like, I'm the fucking principal and you're in trouble. You don't have to. Oh my God. I don't really pray the rosary.

I do, I did in Tokyo and I do like on a plane or I will. Were you thinking about silence in Tokyo? I wanted to go to Nagasaki but I didn't make it over there. So it's the Scorsese movie about the cat. Have you seen it? It's great. And Andrew Garfield is great in it. So at the Portuguese missionaries.

Oh, right. The Catholics in Japan and they're like, they get like tortured with scalding water and hot stones. Drew Garfield is great in it. It's about the Portuguese missionaries. Yeah. Oh, right. The Catholics in Japan, and they're like, they get like tortured with scalding water and hot stones. Yeah, they got crucified literally. I watched Alice doesn't live here anymore on the plane. And others, Chris Azzi. Honestly, kind of a mid movie that looks way better in hindsight

because new movies are all so bad. Yeah. He had a couple of duds and everybody's made a musical or tried it. Like, he makes a great mob movie and then he makes a great religious movie. I like that he's versatile and does range. That's his credit. Silence is great. Last temptation of Christ is pretty good.

I love last temptation. Have you read the book? The book is an absolute all-timer. Yeah, absolute all-timer and the movie is the movie's good, but the book is transcendent. I should read it. It's one of the books I'm like, and silence goes cuss on suckers. Silence is based on a book as well. It's short, I think, and readable, but I have not. I've read other read books about Nagasaki and crypto-catholics and stuff like that. Isn't it funny how like not mad Japan is that we nuke them? Like they just don't give a shit and like don't, it comes out in weird ways in their culture, but like they're not mad at us at all. We fucking nuke them. Yeah, and in fact they worship our culture. I mean, it's like the Germans and the Japanese and all like formerly agro-militaristic races.

They all do this like, they're all like, sensitivity training. Roll over and lick the dominant culture. Yeah, where I think it's like possibly a crime to joke about the Holocaust in Germany or something like that. I made the mistake of making an anti-Semitic joke when I was in Berlin last time in the room went silent. People did not like my stand-up.

What was your joke? I don't remember. Or like two Jews walking to a building. Yeah, I was like two Jews, three opinions, something like really lightweight, but I was like, hey, I have the hood passed and they still weren't feeling it. They don't like it.

At the Yasukini shrine, they do have a statue of a kamikaze pilot. Good. I have like, for a while, I'm like, good. They got us good, kind of good. We did the worst thing ever to them, but yeah. They're doing okay. But I'm not going to, if I got a, Harry Truman was a free Mason. That's not even a conspiracy of like the 33rd or 30th second order and he was the one who ordered

the New Connogasaki, which was the most Catholic part of Japan. They called it Japan's Rome. It's something I say a lot, but I think if there's repeating, because people don't really, they're like, I'm like, don't think that's weird, that like a free Mason would do that,

especially because they worship Lucifer, the bringer of light. I think it's weird that like a re-amason would do that, especially because they worship Lucifer, the Bringer of Light. It's... I think it's weird that anybody would nuke anybody without bringing the Shriners into it. But especially like a very Catholic, like the Old Knee Real Catholic Heart. She could have nuke Dublin. Dublin wasn't one of the acts in the past. Yeah, so you could have been like, fuck you, I heard. She could have just, you know, he should have.

He could have nuked Rome. That would have been interesting. If he went on a anti-catholic. He could have nuked Bavaria, which is very Catholic. I know, but he had the pretext for you. Yeah. What are there? When you say the most Catholic part of Japan,

like what percentage is Catholic? There are five Catholics there. Like point. Oh, oh, oh. Yeah. But there's like five guys. Before they got new to me. Before they got new, they were predominantly Nagasaki,

and there are still many. That's why I wanted to go, because there's lots of Catholic sites and shrines, and that's where they were martyred, because that's where they did the martyred of the Japanese Catholics. That's like kind of their pilgrimage site, but now it's pretty whatever.

It doesn't matter. Okay, so I don't mean to like stop. I don't mean, no, I don't mean to be insensitive about it. That's OK. You can make amends to me later. Do you guys, while we're talking about New King Japan, do you want to talk about NGE, briefly, since the last year that we've been being called?

Now that we're doing this podcast, are we gonna be on your list of amends? For what? What did I do bad to you? I mean, no. The night is young. Let's, let's, let's, let me think. What, what have I done badly to you? What's the seventh step? What's next for you? Seven steps. So, you become willing for God

to remove your shortcomings, and then you ask God to remove your shortcomings. What's the 12th step? 12th step is practice these principles all our... You bring the message to other alcoholics, you help other alcoholics get sober and practice these principles all your affairs. So I'm trying to 12th step you too. My favorite thing about AA is how people proxie their like intimacy issues and like lack of boundaries into sponsoring other people in a contained and controlled manner. And like, no, you

don't understand. I really have to sponsor this guy right now. He needs me. Yeah. Well, there's 13th step. I that's that's suicide. It's it's fucking somebody from the program. No, it is. That's literally what it is. If you date somebody, if you date a sober person like you're really dating their sponsor, like they're doing what their sponsor tells them to do. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You heard, you heard it. I heard that. A boy's dating people in the program. Well, you know, the guy that said that he heard me on Babcast at the A meeting, I now sponsor. Oh, yeah. Cool. So that's, you know, a beautiful thing came from that.

The Real Talmudic Network. Yeah. This alcohol of alcohol. This alcoholic sponsor is, yeah. But I should say, since we're in a public forum with a wide reach, like, it works to fucking get me sober. I was a horrible alcoholic getting intoxicated by myself every day. Huge cocaine problem.

Oh, yeah. It definitely works. I believe in the pro, the pro, yeah. I just think slaw is a little bit of an option that doesn't necessarily have problems. Yeah. It's everything like AA is Harvard and then everything else is like fucking, you know, Pekipsi Community College.

Like it's just, it's not the same. It's a fake version. Yeah. Why do you think AA works? Well, because you work it. Yeah. It's that. No, but give me a good give me a good rational reason because okay Like I you asked me earlier if I was an alcoholic I

View these things pragmatically. Dasha was talking about Truman Nuking Nagasaki because he's a Freemason my Feeling about it as always like the the detached pragmatic one. There's a geopolitical reason. Yeah I'm an alcoholic for pragmatic reasons. I drink for pragmatic reasons. I'm gonna stop drinking for pragmatic reasons. Because also I think, like, you see a lot of people getting sober at this age,

like late 30s, early 40s. That's when I did it. That's when everybody does it. Why? Because I'm sure that there's also, in addition to like the fact that you're maturing and growing spiritually, there's also clearly a hormonal component. Yeah, I'm low T, and that's why I'm sober.

No, but the main criteria of being an alcoholic is that it's impeding your life. So obviously when you're in your 20s and you're getting drunk and everyone's like, ha-ha, we love you for that. And there's no incentive to. And then when you're in your 30s and you're going on an everyone's like, ha ha, we love you for that. And they're so incentive to. And then when you're in your 30s and you're going on an anti-Semitic rant, at the Pearl, then people don't like that as much. And so it does start to.

Well, no, and the most pragmatic impediment is that it becomes physically, biologically harder to suffer the hangovers. Yeah, that's absolutely true. But you asked for a rationalist reason why AA works. I'm thinking that it makes me, I'm picturing like Ali Azer, you'd Kaskie trying to explain AA. Like, actually, you know, I don't know.

It's a lot of woo-woo like Hocus Pocus shit. First of all, they stole the program from some like Christian fundamentalist group, Oxford group, and it's, here's what it is, religion, for me, this is I'm not speaking for AA, anything that's not in the big book is not simply my opinion. It's a religion, and I needed a religion. I needed to find God, and it brought God into my life, and God got me sober. Do I have a rationalist? I can obviously, you know, I can't. They're the least rational thing imaginable. I've experienced it with an entire psychic change. In AA, they believe that, right, there isn't really a pragmatic rationalist solution because

they believe that alcoholism is a spiritual problem. And so you need a spiritual solution. That's the crack matter. Yeah, it's like the Christopher Maltesanti, there is no chemical solution. Yeah. A spiritual problem. I understand all that. Except for, is it part of the success due to the fact that it introduces like a semi- official, semi-formal way of being connected with people. It's like the, the human. What is it called in NG? It's your anxiety. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You literally love yourself into a main frame of other hearts and minds. Yes. Even more on a more base level than

that it gives you like I know a ton of people in AA and if you are, if you, especially if you're an alcoholic and you stop drinking, it becomes really difficult for you to socialize. So in AA, if you're, you know, have become alcoholic due to social drinking, then it gives you a group of people that you can hang out with who you aren't drinking. But that is what you become, you become formless goo, and all people cease having physical and spiritual boundaries,

and all become one, at the direction of a shadowy group of people represented by floating monoliths. And then one guy is trying to secretly thwart their plan in order to reunite with his dead wife whom he clones as a teenage girl with blue hair. Oh, we're talking about ND now. Gross in it. No, this is in the big book.

And this is Bill Wilson I'm talking about. Clones, his wife in a tank as a 14 year old girl, hundreds of times. And while she has a physical being, she does not have a soul. But one copy at a time is given the soul of his dead wife and is therefore able to psychically pilot So that's why a giant alien being that Carries the seed of Adam which is powered with the fruit of the tree of life

Yes, well yes Okay Welcome to schizophrenic body Welcome to Skits of Frenix, podcast. Welcome to Skits of Frenix and Anonymous. Can I say one last thing about AA, before we get on to NGE? I feel like AA could just as well be called NA, because it's like narcissists and Anonymous, and I think it provides. That's not me.

I say that with full empathy and full self-implication. I think that it provides people again, semi-official, semi-formal avenue in which to perform acts of selflessness and duty that they're not used to performing otherwise. Yeah, if you have a church in your town, like you can go cook at the Pancake Breakfast and umpire the fucking little league game and there's an infrastructure for you to do that. That is a great thing about A.S. There's an infrastructure for me to go to Skid Row and speak to homeless alcoholics who wanna get sober. And so what can you do about fucking,

the town is turning into a shithole, everything's falling apart, I can help one guy stay sober for one day, and that's doing a lot. It's tried. Yeah, and it's the equivalent of, it's like the equivalent of fucking volunteering at a school for people that, you know, were raised by atheists and don't have a connection that it turns out that many human beings need.

So yes, it's a religion and a church and it has the place of religion and a church in my life. And I was just at an A.A. meeting a religion and a church and it has the place of religion and a church in my life And I was just at an a meeting that was in a church I'm looking up at a fucking stained glass picture of Jesus Christ and people are to you know and why you used to by the way a lot of fucking and a lot of good looking But it's like really Well put together high mids like yeah yeah it's like 6.8 with mac that are completely looks maxed and like physique maxed and showing it like yeah you should go by truly hard showing Hamilton. And then they're like kind of loitering around afterward and the old heads come over and

they're like hey baby you need a sponsor. You can, you're not supposed to sponsor people that you know. But I'm glad that you just gave us that breakdown of NGE, like really clarified and illuminated a lot of stuff for me. Yes. On Dasha's advice, I skipped through the middle part of robots fighting and watch the last two episodes. Yeah. And obviously I think the series is appealing because there's a lot of like, esoteric Christian imagery and over Freudian references to the power and...

And Jewish mysticism too. But... Because it's Freudianism Japanese style, I feel like it's super literal. And so in their case, they really do want to fuck their mom and or their dad. I mean, everybody wants to fuck everybody. Yeah, but that makes sense because it makes sense.

Like I was struggling to understand, um, shin, shinji, shinto's attraction to, um, Ray, who's the clone of the mother. She says mom, yeah, spoilers. So he really wants to fuck his mom and when she was like ringing the rag. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, and you didn't watch end of a which we get I guess full of boy That's the alternate ending because a lot of the NGE fans. It's the most popular anime in Japan Yeah, the otaku's are very upset with the original ending

Yeah, cuz they ran out of money. So it's all that's one theory They did it with it's like they did it with like collage and there's virtually no moving images That's just it's beautiful. Oh wait. I thought that was intentional because I think it's the drawings become more and more rudimentary like elementary And I thought it was literally returning Yeah, yeah, well they found a way they made the constraints work Yeah, I agree that the last two episodes are beautiful and then which all great work of art. Yeah, that's how good art is made. And then end of Ava is a great compliment to that. And just just tripier a tripier. Okay, I'll maybe I'll watch it. But it also kind of shifts the otaku's for their secret

wish of like the have of bleakness and but it has a perfect ending of of shintai I'm gonna spoil it for you, but don't worry. It's in the journey of shingy waking up on a post-apocalyptic shore with Asuka and Asuka waking up and saying either depending on the translation, disgusting or I feel sick. Well, you try to kill her and then she caresses him. He also had previously I think

Choked the chicken to her while she was in her underwear in a hospital. That's how it opens And it's seen that I did not did not find erotic at all in any way Well, I thought to really be right. He says this is me. I'm at my lowest. I thought the Full depiction of lemon as like braddy and provocative and it was like very like a proto me two series because all the lemon are always like accusing especially also good Yeah, they're always accusing man of being like curves and leches when they're being like totally innocent They are also being curves and leches. Yeah. And also it like it's very honest about the nature of feminine knowledge. Yeah. And it's very honest about the nature of

male sexual arousal in reference to female sexual enticement. Like sexual arousal is based on women being irritating and annoying. The eroticism of NGE is something that could only come out of Japan, or maybe just couldn't come out of America. It's innocent and real, and it's true, like, horny teenage boy eroticism. Like, coming out of the bath and being, like, realizing that, like, Masato is seeing his penis and being shocked, it's like, very, like, I was watching it in, like, early days of SLA when I was new realizing that like, Masato was seeing his penis and being shocked. It was like very like, I was watching it in like early days of SLA when I was new

to like not choking the chicken and like I was puzzled by the strange feelings that was giving me, but. Well, it's also why only 14 year olds can pilot the Aevas is because they are in this like, hormonal state, but it's, you know, you need teens because the Ae's right are like proxy wooms, so they have to be in this really tender psychological state, like an

infant basically to like fuse with it completely, which is why Shinji is able to so well because of the Ava is because he wants mommy Milky. He wants mommy Milky. He has mommy issues. And daddy issues. Yeah, but mostly I'm a believer in the idea that mommy issues are more hardcore than daddy issues. When you're a woman, the first thing they fling at you is daddy issues. Right.

Right. Yeah, that's a good one. Those are completely secondary and peripheral to the mommy issues. Or everybody has them. Like everybody, if you hear it's like, come on. Those are completely secondary and peripheral to the mommy. Or she everybody has them. Like everybody, if you hear it AA constantly, like people are complaining about their father's either being around or not being around.

Yeah, you can't win. Either you can't win, right. Like a man is just like a malevolent presence or a threat in some way. And the other one, and the other one, you into the symbolic order, which is why it's easier to lash out at him,

but to Christopher lash out at him. Yeah. But to Christopher, lash out at him. But I think a lot of people really struggle with like living with the anger they actually have towards their mom. Yeah, and I think it's Quentin Chris Pedder, really good line about this, that your father throws you into the world or thrusts you into the world and your mother protects you from it. And I think it's very painful for people when their mother is actually the one who, which is when we talked about this with reference to the corporal punishment,

this course, is it worse when your mother or your father is the primary abuser? That's a good question because on one hand, men are physically more strong and more dangerous and more violent and therefore scarier and more threatening. But on the other hand, women are tasked with the protection of infants and children. So if a woman is transgressing in that manner, it's possibly even more of a betrayal. Yeah, exactly. I got well done by my dad and Anna got well done by her mom. So that explains.

Yeah. Oh, sorry, you guys. Whatever. We don't care. I love and support both of you. You're both wonderful people. We turned out okay. We turned out okay. We're fucked up in different complimentary ways. Exactly. Like, you and Yang. We learned a lot in Japan.

It's cool that you went together. It is cool. I never really traveled that way together We have but not like we shared a room. Yeah, stuff. It was cute. It was nice Mm-hmm and we travel well together We both like leave each other alone in the most way that I liked and like but I I think if I want to like laugh about mud sharky. Yeah, right there Did you have occasion to laugh about mudsharking in Japan yeah because I think

I think people were mad at me for using people started calling us neo-nazis and then animated post about it and someone was like you literally are you used to learn mudsharking and then we were like literally sitting in an airplane lunch like giggly on our phones like beabuse and I was like, I'm a part of it. I was like, did I ever say burn the coal, pay the toll? No, no. What's the deal? It all folded into my red scarf. It's like, no, when a white woman, when a white woman, like, dates a black guy,

and then like, there's a, get the shit beat out of her, or he kills her, or something, or the resident of Flatta Stairs, it's like you're burning the coal. How much it caused? Yeah. So coal burner was within me. That's reparations.

In my racist, my racist small town. I don't even think we've said that one. No, I definitely never used the term, quote, cold burner. Cold burner. But yeah, no, I think there's like a common wisdom that women are sexy and enticing in spite of being irritating, but I really come to learn that it's because we're so irritating that we inflame men's passions. I got into it once with logo made a long post about NGE ones and blah, blah, blah,

whatever he was on about. Well, he has the blue check now, so he can do those long posts. This was a while ago and it was still some thread that he made, and then I just said, actually, it's about how love is destructive. Oh, wait, that's your nicotine gum. I thought you were pulling out of bag.

You have cocaine. Do you want to be a cacinic or a trache? I want to chew the gum. This is going to be very hard to add it. We're just going to be up like real apps. So I'll ask you a very basic question. Who is your favorite girl? My favorite girl?

On red scare podcast. Yeah, which, are you an antiguy or a doshiguy? Answer carefully. I literally thought that's what you're in. Answer carefully. He's gonna read up. No. Which everyone you say, the other one's gonna be a huge bitch to you. Literally thought that's what you're And so carefully Which everyone you say the other one's gonna be a huge bitch. Yeah

Holy shit, first of all It's the same question because you on our ray and you are obviously asica I mean you know that you're asking no, oh no I was gonna say that she's missato and I'm Ritsuko Yeah, I think she's very much Ritzuko because of her mommy issues and the computers and stuff. And I'm Missoto because I like to have young lovers and dream beer. No, wait, here's my both Missoto.

But there's no, there's no, like, Missoto is the main female. Ritzuko's not in the parent's eye. No, she really, she is for me. She is the one that I identify with most. And I think for me Dasha was I See her as a misato because did I give you one of these? Misato is like this young woman who on the surface appears very like impulsive and spontaneous and like vapid but is actually like very

Disciplined and determined has like a high level of intelligence and mastery. Yeah. Captain, she's major, major Katsurugi. Yeah. And then Ritsuko is a woman who on the surface appears very like rational, disciplined, self-sacrificing, but it is like underneath the kind of placid surface is very like stormy and passionate and interesting. Yeah. So that was my read. I didn't even register Ray and Asuka. Well, Ray was kind of like a weird spurg and Asuka was a different kind of weird spurg. High-eyed, all those two I think she's Ray. And I identified with the first

time I watched it years ago and I was only 30 years old. I did identify with Asuka, especially when she says, look at me. Look at me, but also the chief highlights her Ava so that people know how talented she is. Yeah, it's the Asuka's the most, the more, Ray is such a weird character because of what you find out about her later, but That she's a mommy clone. Yeah, that she's a fucking clone. I am like Ray and that I'm a mommy. Yeah Yeah, yeah, what's the mom's name? you e you e yeah, but

Asuka's need to project confidence while being incredibly vulnerable Because her mother went crazy and abandoned her mother killed her and hanged herself. Yeah, yeah But yeah of the ray Asuka I follow and then I also think Ritsugi where or no, what's her name the blonde one? You were saying Ritsigo, I don't know how I can say that. Ritzigo and Misato, I think that also tracks. But it's funny because on the show, Misato is the brunette and Ritzigo is the blonde one

with the mole. And there's always like, whenever there's two women, one is blonde, one is a brunette always. And one of the characters, what's his name, Kaji even says to Ritsuko, I'm fresh off of watching this, so I remember it vividly. If a woman has a mole that's in the path of her tears, that means she's gonna be like troubled and tortured, really. Yes.

She's like angling her tears. I mean that because I'm always solving this area. I guess they're inevitably. But basically, but basically, yes, I think in the breakdown of the teen female characters, you're the Asuka I'm the Ray. Absolutely. I had a whole, I had like a red scar. Go off. I was trying to figure out so like either I'm Shinji or

Bapishinji and then Huelbeck is Gendo Ikari and Camille Palia is Missato. That was my like red scar NGE universe. That's interesting. Yeah. Yeah. It's an interesting take. Palia is a little absent. Yeah. To be Missato. We don't really. Palia is Yui. You've tried to get her right. Because she's the godmother. She's the soul of the broadcast. Right, right, right. Well said. Yeah, I've corresponded with her in the past. I met her, you know, years before we had the podcast and we got along and she tentatively said that she would do the pod, but that was

back in like 2019 and she said she'd do it after the election. So it's like long after the election. So I should circle back. Yeah, I did. Yeah. Like we literally just cold email all our guests and she's the one that I have like total stage right over.

Like I can't bring myself to do it. Even though we've like talked before and we're but I, so, like, she's... It's a weird gross thing to do to call the email somebody. I mean, not even that, but I just, like, she's like my big intellectual hero. Yeah. So, it's a lot of pressure. Yeah.

But you have to have her, how old is she now? She's in her 70s. Yeah. I think she'd be down to clown. She's had to me at the time, like, I don't do any podcasts except for my friend Christina half-summer's podcast, but I'll make an exception for you girls. When you approach people do you like play up your like New York Times mentions and your all your

Prima's like you try to sell yourself that way and how do you feel about all that shit like? How do you feel about all that shit? Like, how do you? So I keep thinking about the fucking New York Times story about the guy with his fucking stupid dog, the guy that's got a Siberian Husky, which is, which is bred to run hundreds of miles across frozen tonda that he he's tundered that he fucking keeps in lower Manhattan. Yeah, he walks while he listens to a podcast. He doesn't even like. Yeah, and then he's like a fashion blogger. Got into the fucking New York Times by saying, like, I no longer like this podcast because they're too fascist.

And like, my dog was, somebody was sniffing my dog's pussy and like, I don't like greats. It caused me to reflect. Yeah, I have to say we're like the only podcast where when people quit the podcast, which is normal because people grow out of things or they like Go through a rough patch and don't have the money to pay for it whatever Like they fall on my side. Most people just quietly Weave where the only podcast where people feel the need to like issue an official statement

like issue an official statement. Why is that so? This is a good thing to read, it's scared. And what is your, so in my mind, the reason that I was nervous to be on here is because in my mind, like you guys are on a tier of celebrity, that is, another dimension, right? Like you guys are almost not, like you're,

you're actually a friend, right? It's called micro celebrity and it sucks. It's called microcelence for me and it sucks. It's called niche internet microcelence. Remember, like, this is because this is me coming from like, taking it. I swallowed the nicotine gum. Is this nicotine gum gonna help me get past the jet lag? Maybe, maybe.

How are you feeling? I don't know if you should chew another piece. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm gonna swallow it. I'm gonna like, put my shirt over my head. I swallowed it, so it's gonna, this, my body will absorb it. But,

yeah. Like, so. It's like a teen piloting an ava. Exactly. Like, literally, every fucking day, there's some new shit about, there's the political thing today, like people spotted you at some event,

they're writing about you, fucking being at the Roger Stone thing. It's all, and it's in like big shit like the New Yorker and they're based, like they're talking about you on white lotus or something, I don't know, I haven't seen the show, but like you're, you're... Mike White lovingly based some characters on our influence, the fan. Permiating the culture and people like jerky well of constantly and then like Abusa, so to be prefer people like people talk about you. Everyone's constantly fucking talking about you guys So like how does it feel? How do you feel about it?

Again, I'm a pragmatist and I think we're like in the right place at the right time. Yeah, and Generally I one of my central animating conflicts is that I'm disgusted by the meme economy. And I don't like how reductive and stupid these meme discourses are. They feel very fake and gay to me because the reality of life is much more harsh and depressing and mundane

and actually way more nuanced and beautiful because of that. So I feel mostly gross and dirty when I mentioned in those things, even when they succeed in making us look actually really awesome and cool, like that recent political article. Yeah, right. Which I was worried is that I don't think about anything.

I'm like walked away. I'm desensitized to a slash maybe occasionally repulsed or like annoyed. But I also, I think I'm on Earth to do God's will. So like in Shala, like whatever proliferates from what I say or do is like God's will. Yeah, and like in the spirit of doing a searching and fearless moral inventory, I think that people who find themselves in our position are people who seek that position out

and are flattered by the attention are probably flattered on some level from reading about themselves. And that's like something that you have to keep in mind about yourself when you get mentioned in an unflattering light. Right. You can't have that face and be like, Oh, yeah. What are they? Don't talk about how cool and based I am again.

Just even, oh no. No, don't post that picture of you. You can see how long my lips are. Don't do that. Oh my God. No, not the Isis selfies where we both look really good again. Oh, please. Even just by, quote, taking up space and offering up your opinion in a public domain, you are inviting very intrusive

and very unflattering criticism at all times. So you bring it upon yourself. Yeah, like I get accused of being a fucking child rapist. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's your niche. The smartest thing that anyone set on our podcast ever was this early guest, the NASA players. The winners talk about the prostitutes and the Philippines are the ones. When he refused to answer whether he was an Anna or a Dasha girl,

honestly smart. This will serve you handsomely in your future rave cases. He pleads the fifth. No, is this woman who's an artist, but also a lawyer, and she exclusively defends sex offenders, which is a weird, what's wrong with her? And she said your critics are always right. And they are.

They may not be in the details, but they are in the broad strokes. Yes. So, yeah, we just roll with the punches, basically. More or less. Which choice did we have? Literally not. I used to get very hurt by criticism. And I'd get it on a much smaller scale than you guys.

But it was in a, like, you guys are getting criticized by people that are trying to make a career out of it. Like, nobody really hates you. Nobody really thinks that you're fascist or racist or whatever. They just, they're just, like, that's the job, right? It's the same way, like, when I call Verizon to complain about my bill

It's the person's job to tell me like actually sir. It was a promotional rate that you were in charge and it says in your contract I was gonna go after a year and like that's what that political article is too, right? It's not like a human being and it's not a person speaking for it I'm just getting clicks for them and it's getting publicity for us. It's so pathetic to think of a journalist walking around a party asking people what do you think? And what expect if you expect when you approach somebody at a party asking people what what do you think and we expect If you expect when you approach somebody at a party and ask them to give a statement But the reality is that a lot you know

The political article has a chance of being interesting unlike every other political article because you're in it I stopped reading after that. Yeah, I go name something. Yeah I did the exact same thing I searched for it it. And there was an, and the ads were like, removed belly fat. I don't think. This one weird trick. When you encounter these like retarded online discourses, do you realize, yeah, like everybody's just like performing outrage? Yeah.

I mean, I don't buy it for as high as that. Yeah, yeah, for sure. I mean, I think that people do really hate us to the degree that they're probably jealous of us for making so much money through so little effort. Like there is like probably an economic component of a covetous hatred. Yeah, although I mean, look, this is a decent place to live, but I'll tell you like the redskirt girls are not living in like opulent luxury. Absolutely. But any stretch of the fucking imagination.

I'm living in a Chinese testament, y'all. Yeah. Yeah, is this how fucking major Asian. Yeah. Yeah. Is this how you pictured it? Yeah. No, I thought there would be like fountains in a string quartet with your podcast money. No, we you know, I thought I would be very much in taxes. I thought it would be a big plantation with you guys. You're nearly gonna get a variety and stuff. I'm basically replicating my upbringing in Moscow, living in a city tenement with a child.

It does look, there's like a brutalist, something feel to it. It's very Russian, because you would do it. But okay, let me flip the script on you and ask you this, because it's like, okay, we get a lot of hate, but we're face bags. So presumably it hurts us more because it's personal. But if you're like in a non, if you're like delicious tacos or bath or a hot box or whatever, or I guess he's

fully doxed, does it hurt the same? I am the least anonymous person on the internet because I have no fucking secrets in my books. So when people want to trash me, they take self-deprecating things that I say, like I was working as a male secretary and making no money. And I fucking, you know, was ugly and had a big nose and blah, blah, blah, small dick, all this other shit. And they would just spout that back to me in my comments. The exact same shit that I just said, and it fucking hurt me to the core deeply every time.

It would ruin like multiple days for me. But that's funny because you confess that stuff. I do. And the confession does nothing for me therapeutically. It funny because you confess that stuff. I do. And the confession does nothing for me therapeutically. It doesn't help me get it off my chest. I still have all the same problems. Wait till they hear about your step six or whatever bad traits. They're going to leave.

Yeah. It's the old itself. It's really insecure. It's the same though. But yes, because I don't face vague, which is, by the way, I please say on the record, I don't face Vag, which is by the way I'd please say on the record like I don't have a bad looking face I'm not a great guy Tony Hawk slash Hamilton Leethouse you hear that ladies so but don't try anything because he's in recovery

but More trice and thing and he'll put up his But more try something and he'll put up his force field. It's not hard to say no to sex. It's, but I did my reading in LA and it went really well and it was a big event because I'm an important and powerful celebrity. Yeah. And then like hot women came up after and introduced themselves

to me and we were like, we signed my book. I did, let's just talk to us, Teeheehee and I'm like, yeah, you know, and I had no problem, just like not. All I have to do in that case is nothing. I just have to not ask for their phone number. If a man doesn't do 100% of the work, they make you horny or nothing else. Nothing happens. Nothing happens. Yeah, but also nothing occurs.

It's way harder to say no to sex as a woman because you just want to get it up. Yeah, I'll go over with. Yeah, yeah, I'll go over with it. Yeah, I already got it. But, this is an act of mercy and pity. I looked across the room and I had done well on stage. Like I had, you know, I thought I had killed, right? I looked across the room and I saw like my exes

like distinctive haircut. Uh-huh. And. Wow, this is like deconstructing Harry. And suddenly like all I cared about was you. You're like the boy Woody Allen. Was whether she had shown up on time to see me. I was like, I got, I hope to God she shut up to see me kill.

You know? Well, she was there. Yeah. That's not nothing. But I shouldn't be feeling that way about her. She was like, oh, you can't control. That's my problem with saws that you cannot ultimately control the way you feel, the way that you will inevitably

have intimate, even if you aren't having penetrative sex, like you are going to have intimacy with people you can like avoid. Yeah, similar with Catholicism. And you can avoid sin, you can avoid occasions for sin. But it will even an age. The intrusive thoughts will enter your mind and you are a like a sinner regardless. Yes, it's your own habit that can't. It's a thought that can't happen. And also I would argue that saying no to sex introduces an additional sadomazochistic layer into the dynamic because suddenly you're used to being the masochist and suddenly you're

the saddest and you're like there's a new power dynamic in town which is why you should always say yes to sex. Because you don't want to compliment you guys too much in your thinking. The thing about sloth, though, too, is like people have like 40 years sober in AA. Like Sloth, people have like 18 hours from going through their boyfriend's mailbox. Like, nobody has a long time. No, it's impossible. It's like love is not, love is destructive as we learn. NGE, it's the hedgehog's dilemma.

There's nothing you can do. There really is. It's like, There's nothing you can do. There's there really is it's like Yeah, you should be vigilant you should guard against your worst impulses your Egoic fixations, but you like need other people. That's what Shinji learns in the in the alternate ending is like He decides to forego the singularity and to choose humanity and humanity is pain. Yes. Yeah, this reminds me of the ending of another show I really like called battle store galactica.

It's good. I don't know if there's I haven't seen the new. Yeah, you're obviously talking about the 2000s. What not the one with Lauren green. I haven't seen either. It's good. It's like my favorite genre of show where it seems like really pulpy and trashy and is not on a procedure network, but

is surprisingly well-made. Isn't it notorious for having the worst ending of all time? It has a very over-determined, ham-fisted track ending where they go back to basics and destroy all technology and start again which presumably much later down the line leads to similar like human disaster. Right, right. But I liked it. The well is eternal. Yeah. And I like that there was like a lot of working actors on the show who were kind of high mids. Yeah, a lot of those are the most attractive people. Yeah, six six point eight to seven point two is like the hottest

right now. I love an actor that's not you don't want an actor that's too good looking. He wants to look like a fucking human being. Yeah, this is what I always try to explain to people when people are like you have the weirdest and worst taste in men and in women. And I'm just like, no, baby, I understand sex appeal. Objection. Yeah, you have to be a little fugly to be hot. But the thing too, okay, with slion body camera, you can try and like suppress your body count as much as you want, but like, fuck your body count. Like tell me how many people you've like cried in front of you.

Yeah. And how many people you've coerced into bizarre, extortionist power dynamics in a non-sexual manner? Arguably those are worse. It's very easy. Yeah, how many people have brought you close to suicide and how many have you brought close to suicide? Have you ever contemplated suicide? Many times. Many times. We should have the same birthday. Oh, yeah, that is very cosmic. Yeah. But yeah, we are both. And then you, you wrote something about sex and love addiction, which I found in 2016

that I sent incredibly relatable and eerily parallel to the last thing I wrote, including like the beginning and ending beats were like identical. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Of me like wandering on our lay, like looking for someone to be in love with, like being insane, feeling sick. I liked your prose too. I thought it was, I don't know, what's the word I'm looking for? It was very unaffected. Thanks, I don't know.

There was something Russian about it and that it was like non-experimental with like grammar, it was like straight and classical. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, I really all lit in the traditional sense thing. I thought it was great. I think both of you guys, I would love for you guys to write books. I really want an iterated book. Yeah, I think you should write a book too. Thanks. Obviously, like, yeah. I got all I have a lot going on. Yeah, it's not fun. So don't do it.

No, I'm the lot going on. Yeah, it's not fun. So don't do it. No, right one book. Yeah Yeah, the right one book Well, when Anna got sick, that's when I really was like bitch Where were you so good? I swear to God if you fucking die and you didn't write a Holy shit. Did you almost die? I? Can't talk about this because people roast me so hard because it's like a perfect storm narrative What did you have fibromyalgia? I had a very bad reaction to COVID.

And like I made the mistake of, because we were gone for a month. It was like I went to the hospital and I made the mistake of talking about it in the spirit of like honesty and transparency. It would have been bizarre. It would have been bizarre if we had to be like, hey, we're back, nothing going on here.

Like you, I mean, and the Vax is a big thing. Basically, well, I had a, I had a freak reaction and the, it was like an authentic reaction. So the Vax or the Tacovus? Tacovus. Tacovus. No, no, and that's so, that's why people, my haters left to roast me for being anti-Vax

and basically getting a dose of my own medicine. And of course, I didn't take the Vax for completely individual pragmatic reasons not because I was trying to own the lips, but because I was pregnant and then breastfeeding during the whole duration of the pandemic. And I just didn't want to, which they claimed was okay, but every single one I know has had menstrual side effects from. Yeah, I didn't want to expose my fetus and then my infant to, uh, my fetus to vaccine.

And I would have gotten a lot of fucking makeup. He had to pilot that, I would. So this is a very dark and humiliating episode in my life that I feel very sad and afraid about. No, it's fine. It's fine. And arthritic reaction, meaning your joints were fucked up?

I suspect it was, yeah, it wasn't the COVID actually. It was a reaction that was created by like the spike proteins and it's a very rare thing that is a rare autoimmune thing that like I read about obsessively and it came according to the clinical literature people will accuse me of coping so hard but a lot of people who got the Vax also had this reaction, not a lot. I mean, it was like three to five on both sides. Okay. But you almost died?

I mean, I was like very sick. It was awesome. It was awesome. Holy shit, dude. I had like, just like I couldn't walk. Yeah. And I was in like severe pain, which I've never been in before. So all of that is relevant.

I only bring it up because I think Anna really should write about it. I agree. And I was pissed at the thought of her parishing with that. Writing a book is a real way to put something out of yourself and into the world, which I think does what you need to do.

And well, I made a movie. I've got to talk and take it to make films. I have a film. I have a film counts films. I have a writing and filmmaking practice. I like my pen. I might pen some poems or some shit but I don't know. I think you could and should write a book down the line but it's not like an immediate priority. In my case I'm like very on the fence about it because it's like a very serious intellectual undertaking even if you write like a lightweight like the pussy. My books are not serious intellectual undertakings. And the main thing that I've always wanted to avoid is writing anything like confessional or memoiristic which seems to be the way to go. You should write a book of essays like compiled over time. Look man just wake up in the

morning, fucking read the best book you can while you take a shit and type for it. The Bronze Age Mind Top. Type for 30 minutes. Yeah, type for 30 minutes. That's all you gotta do. Really, a writing book is just sitting down

and typing the words. I mean, writing a book is literally just taking up every morning and sitting down and writing, and then you don't use 90% of it, but the time setting. Yeah, just cut it down. That's literally all it is. So forget, you know, whatever, you know,

high-minded goal you have for it. Like, I don't think, well, I don't think I have a high-minded goal anymore. I feel like after I had a baby, I became much more reconciled to not pushing like the creative button because I have a kid now. Also, I think having a baby makes you like a lot dumber and softer.

Interesting. Yeah, and you don't really have like that impulse anymore, but you have other insights that are like human and vital. One thing I wanted to ask you about, right? So the difference between the two of you as like sex objects, like Dasha, you have always been a sex object, right? And you Transmogrified into a sex object. I don't like I've always been a sex object. Like to other people

You know what I mean like that was always like you you came you became famous in the sailors socialism thing And you were wearing the fucking Foxy anime outfit and guys got horny for you, right that happens right? And then like you post pictures from your like younger days and like you're also like guys get horny for you, right? That happens, right? And then like you post pictures from your like younger days and like you're also like guys get horny for you. But you turned yourself into a sex, you transmogrified. Should I be offended? No, no, no, no, no, this is a high praise, but you had you know, you used to have the daiki haircut and stuff and then like you turned into like a legit sex object. I mean, I think what's the question? I think this is a fake meme narrative.

Was that a choice? No. I've always been a privately passionate and horny person. And I've always actually been squirrely and weird. Yeah, I think people project sexuality kind of on to me. Yeah, I'm not saying it's right. I'm just saying. I think also the difference between us

is that Daush is an extrovert and I'm an introvert. So that's more of the silence. But so I have a, I have a, like, I have a magazine that like, we're both interviewed in. Yeah, so I'm a magazine. And on the cover is you and a revealing it and a revealing outfit you know it's not that revealing it's like a

tall tee from praying but it's like it's like it's like it's a bikini it's yeah it's a sexy picture you know I don't know that's that's for sure that's current I'm pregnant that's current I you know you he makes everything kind of pervy from his face. So the cute thing about Karen, you remind me a little bit of Karen now. You do, yeah. He was up in here. He's a really sweet guy.

He's been me to the gills. He was the first person who was sewn in on grotto. Yeah. Actually, of course, a very nice, polite, professional guy. Very boundary. My one critique of a great photographer really knows how to bring out the kind of abject sexuality from women. He makes cute girls look kind of ugly but in a really sexy way.

Yeah. That's always been my take on sexuality, that it's not about prettiness or perfection. It's about being kind of perverse and object, which is why the Japanese get it. They're really into like vomit porn or whatever, like tentacle porn, like the most gross stuff you can think of.

He could not shoot a pregnant woman to save his life because it didn't occur to him to shoot me from the side with the bump. No. He did it from the front. He's such a guy, you know, which is very sweet and charming. And to Anna's point, I think really, the like, and this is something, this is a big talking point

in our part, but I think the essence of my sexual appeal, as much as people like to say, look like I have fetal alcohol syndrome, whatever, is that men love a woman who looks like she's been bonked on the fucking head. They really do. I don't think that's it. I think the essence of your sexual appeal is that you're very confident. That's all that matters. It's not less. It's not money. It's confidence.

I'm much more conflicted about being in the public eyes. Yeah. It's like the very... You're an exhibitionist, but approved. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So, I think that probably explains I mean I learn the hard way but I really I had the dykeie haircut not

for any like I thought your dykeie haircut was cute I thought it was I mean listen this is another fake meme narrative because I've never been more swimming in Dix than when I had the dykeie haircut that's when all the men flocked to me because men like a woman who looks a little weird and perverted yeah bonked on the head bonked on the black me because men like a woman who looks a little weird and perverted bonked on the head. Bunked on the fucking head. Men like a woman who looks like she just got released from a mental asylum.

You do kind of want like a slightly retarded woman. Yes. Like her and is such a popular fashion photographer of women. And he got me to for what? Like fucking his models. Like that's a photographer's women. And he got me to for what like fucking his models like it that's a photographer's job. Like barely randomly some girlfriend of his like but well yeah what he's in the category of like like Terry Richardson of like pervert photographer that one's actually turned against because they

were like there must be transcracking. One thing I noticed in because I've done a lot of like personal research on like the nature of addiction and on the nature of sexual abuse and on the nature of physical abuse, which is why I've lived with Dr. Drew who covers the same ground, is that you have this class of young women who are either anorexic or obese, who have a history of sexual abuse, and they talk about how they wanted to make themselves invisible, but in a way making yourself invisible is also a means of taking up space and like provoking people into a reaction. So if I were to psychoanalyze myself very harshly, I would say that I probably had the daiki haircut also because I went through puberty

very early and I was like for lack of a better phrase a very sexy teen like I was Busty and had long hair. Oh my gosh. I did just a pair of my soul. Yeah. Boy, I'm glad I went to SLA before coming on this podcast. I was put on birth control very early so I was like Busty but like Chubby and really hormonal and like Saigo and not cute. I like didn't really get hot until I was like 24-25. Why are you wearing a berth control? It's just your menstrual problems or your... I had it in my period and nowadays that's like common clinical practice.

We really are like teenagers on birth control in the same. Exactly. I was in the same. Holy shit. And so I was yeah, they put me on birth control which made me feel like really hormonal and weird. No, I really wasn't like sex. I thought I kind of was I was, yeah, they put me on birth control, which made me feel like really hormonal and weird. No, I really wasn't like sex. I thought I kind of was, I was horny, but I wasn't and maybe imagined myself as being sexy, but I don't think I really looked good until I was like,

I'm so sexy, well, like loudly chewing. It's nicotine. Are you smoking while chewing again? May I have a drag of that? Yeah, thank you. And then I kind of became maybe sexy, but now my aesthetic is really like, I wear a big t-shirt, I really, I don't like.

Yeah, you're in the post-molestation phase where you have burnt out from being too sexy. I like, I'm like, leave me the fuck alone. But that's like dead eyes, I'm like babbling to myself, I don't want anyone to talk to me. But that's what, um, But the more unsexy you try to be by appearing like a retarded schizophrenic.

It makes men horny. You are, yeah. Can I quote, Miss Otto? Please. At the end of NGE, she says, I'm so tired of making myself pretty and clean. I just want to be dirty and solid. And she's expressing like this very earnest sentiment that she doesn't want to be hot and sexy anymore. But like it actually makes her hotter and sexier because you can picture her in a gang bang in that moment.

I'm like talking fully about a fictional cartoon. Well, that's because she, also the sexy in with massage. Yeah. Here's the journey of NGE in terms of horning us for me. It was when I started watching it, like, Massada would be like bent over that, you know, they have the breakfast scene,

and she's drinking and she's bent over the table. Yeah, she's yelling at him, she's yelling at him, yeah. And her little ass cheeks are kind of hanging out the bottom. Yeah, she's insane. And by the end of it, and even, you know, like, Asika, whatever, I don't want to get into, you know, look, it's legal if she's a cartoon.

But like, they're not children. They don't look like they have, they have a track wise. They're not children. They're like a third secret. But you want to, like in the beginning, like I was extremely horny for the secret. But you want to, in the beginning, I was extremely horny for the characters, and then by the end of the show, I wanted to wrap them in a blanket and fix them

and hold them while they cry and tell them it's okay. Well, that's the point. Look at me. I don't mind you. You're enough. Oh, my God. You're good enough. You're good enough.

Your mom, it's not your fault that your mom thought that Ad doll was you and then hanged herself and then possessed a giant robot. Well, my cynical, you know that phrase, like intimacy breeds contempt, familiarity breeds contempt, but actually just breeds more familiarity. You get used to people and you see,

sees viewing them as intimidating or sexy or whatever. And I don't think people call Miss Otto a pedophile. I don't think she is. I don't think it's pedophile to be attracted to osuka or rei like because they're clearly drawn with like adult. It just mentally alter. It's different. It's normal. I started to jog off to cartoons during the COVID-19 pandemic. That was another part of my PNM journey is because I would feel so guilty about porn and masturbation. I would feel so guilty about watching pornography, due to human suffering, that I started fapping to Hentai because it seemed more like, um, and the rest is history. The rest is history.

Okay, but to your point about this trans-morgification thing, I would say that like the one arena where I, not to get too intellectual, but the one arena where I am like deliberate and self-conscious is that I think you're sexy, I am. I don't want to be crude, but you're a fucking father. Hey, thanks guys. Both of you. So, we're all sexy here. What I really scorn about public discourses and especially internet discourses is how unnew, onston literal they are. And I'm like truly like a nostick and a strousian,

and I like to force people to read between the lines. And very rarely they do, but when they do, they exceed your expectations. Because I'm also like very naive and stupid in this way, and I assume the best of people people and I assume probably that they're smarter. I think I'm more perceptive than they are. I think I read something for me like your worst fear was being misunderstood or misinterpreted or read in bad faith right? Yeah I don't know if that's my worst fear it's just kind of an occupational hazard. But that like I hate that too.

That's a big yeah. But not very 19th coming through, that's a big, all I want is to be understood. Like I write horrible things that are about the way I feel, largely not about my actions, but it's an expression of, you know, like just male horniness. Yeah, they're descriptive, not prescriptive.

Right, right, right. But so it really does bother me when people read it as if I'm advocating for some lifestyle or saying, look how great I am. You're not proselytizing, you're not on the game. And this comes out of the meme culture, as you say, or just the fact that so much male stuff, I can't speak for your side of things,

but so much male stuff is some version of Andrew Tate. Yeah. I'm telling you for your side of things, but so much male stuff is like some version of like Andrew Tate like, you know, I'm telling you how to live, right? This is what you got to do. Like you're a man of spirit. Yeah, and so people that has created a frame for people's reading and especially for male oriented shit, where everyone you read, you expect them to be giving you advice. It's expected to have some utilitarian purpose in your life. And like so, and people will often say to me, like, why should I listen to you, loser? And it's like,

this is like looking, I'm sorry, approach to art. Like it's like the, what's the, it's problematic. This like shitty show at the Brooklyn Museum, created by. I can't wait to, let's be, I know even an even less Hanna Gadsby experience. The best artists do this well, all artists do this to some extent, is that they describe

reality, they don't prescribe it. And people now want like a moral lesson or some kind of value-jogging. And they want morality, please. Yeah, which is the exactly wrong way of going about it. No one wants that. Yeah, which is the exactly wrong way of going back. No one wants that. So this is a problem too with the so-called like dissident right scene, which you guys are often propped up as like the messiahs of making the right wing cool.

Like every like Fox News reject wants to latch on to the two of you because they see you as like it's like oh the new puts the new punk rock right and what they really want is like these people that should be doing like small market weather and traffic right they should be doing it's it like blonde women that should be doing like the farm report that like a guy jerks off to at 5 a.m. right But what they want to like, and snare you into, is like, the left butt with the right's message. The left with bangs.

Yeah, but yeah. Yeah, but that's why I say I'm not right wing. Not because I don't agree with their politics, but because I don't want to be part of that scene Yeah, what I would say to people listening who are trying to do something creative is like fucking stay out of a scene Don't ever be part of a group. I came out of the Manosphere which is to my eternal shame and like just don't like but that's easier said than done Don't ever it's really nice. I mean I just I mean people yeah

that's easier said than done. Don't ever, I mean, I just, people, yeah, a lump us into whatever this is all right here. Well, but no, but I'm an artist. I am by definition not an ideologue. I'm not a fashion star. If there was a fascist regime that prevented me, impeded me for making my work, I would not support it. It just happens to be that now the regime

is one that imposes like DEI, regulations, etc. It makes it harder for me to work and thus I have like a reactionary impulse against it, but I have no ideology. I'm just an artist. It's very interesting if you go back in history. My favorite artist is personally the director, Carlos Sora, who just died and the writer, Albert O'Marovia, who died a while ago, are both built as anti-fascist artists, because they were both oppressed perched by the respective fascist regimes in Spain, under Franco, and Italy, under Mussolini. But I don't view them as anti-fascists at all. I don't think that they, if they were alive today, would ever consider themselves leftists, but they did have a very like incredible

Autonomous psychological birds-eye view into the mind the psyche of your average fascist Which like you can see play out now in like cheap facsimile on the online right because a lot of those people are Demented sexually repressed weird freaks who are either gay or pedophiles because they have severe mommy issues. And then a lot of them are just... A lot of them are cool guys too, that are just funny. A lot of them are both.

Funny races. And it's funny to say burn the coal, pay the toll. I don't want to make light of a woman in the kitchen. I mean, having a sense of humor is not a crime. Yeah. But really like art is nerds typing alone. And just people should just be wary. I don't know, like, what I was going to say is that even if you yourself as an artist, um, scorn the idea of being lumped into any scene and reject the concept of any scene, you will be lumped into a scene

by retarded, low IQ journalists, who are for political and media. But I made a decision, so I used to blog on my okay, Cuban profile. Okay, Cuban had a blog function and you could have, and so people would actually read them, and I would write something complaining about women or something, and I would get a comment

through like you're a misogynist, you're a woman hater and the blood of women is on your hands. And I tried to... The blood of women is on my dick. Yeah. Because I raw dog to grow on her period. I tried to, I tried to like engage with love and kindness

and I was like actually, you know, ma'am, I hold left leaning views. Like I'm a good feminist ally and she was like you're a rapist and misogynist you should die. And at that moment, I was like, people who want to call you like a racist or a misogynist or whatever,

like that's what they just want to do that. It doesn't really matter like what they're reading, right? So like, so whatever label people throughout me, I'm just going to accept it, right? Okay, well, so yeah, when I was, I was talking to Bath about coming on the show a while ago, I was like, maybe around the time we either had like, Nicola and Colteron and I was like, oh, I think we're going to have tacos on soon. And I was like, I think we should just space out like the right wing guys that we have. And he was like, well, tacos is a love test. It's true. And he was like, well, tacos is a love test.

It's true. And I was like, no, he's not. I was like, he just pretends like Bernie Sanders to get pussy. I know that, but that's not true. I intuitive. But I knew you were not like the other girls from an early time because I always had my question

for you was always like, what are you doing, consorting with the online right? Because you're not one of them. That's true, but they're funny. But I'm also not out there. And they accept you. Yeah, well, they love you, because they're horny. Yeah, I'm also, you know, I don't want to say

that I'm an racist, but I'm not actively. All you have to be is like not, actually, moldbugs said something good about this at our reading in LA, which is that. At your racist media. At our read, our 99% male audience reading, which is part of his 45 minute answer to a one sentence question was that all you have to do to be part of the right is not have the smell

of the dominant culture of the left. That there's a certain vibe to it, there's a certain set of rules to it, and all you have to do to be right to be part of the right is just not have that, and I just don't have that. I don't give a shit to prove that. And they'll actively push you out if you don't. Yeah, literally as the time has shown over and over again, like we'll push you towards the right because you failed to conform to their like

extremely strict, boring, and shitty, unesthetic, like, fucked up criteria. Yeah, I mean, I think Twitter user, breast milk enjoyer, both that guy had a tweet to that tune where he was like, well, I mean, I think Twitter user Breast Milkenjoyer, both that guy had a tweet to that tune where he was like, well, you know, the left is a very specific sect or camp, but the right is way more heterogeneous. It's a bunch of people who are simply unified by the criteria that they are not left. And they run the gamut, like politically racially. Yeah.

Yeah. None of the white supremacists are white. They're all Mexicans or Jews. When we had the latest neo-Nazi discourse over like Maddie Helian Taylor. Oh, that's right. That's the thing that I've been reading about. Yeah. You guys are connected to Taylor Swift.

People were defending me for once. People were defending me for once. People were defending me. And I was like, they're trying to annoy you. She's Jewish. She has a Jewish baby with a Jewish man. And I was like, guys, guys, like pump the brakes. Don't you know that like three quarters of the racists and Nazis on the alt-right are literally misshlings.

This is not a good defense. This does not work in my favor. Yeah. Yeah, you're like, um, mitochondria, Jew. Oh, yeah. What the fuck is that cold Jewish? I have so much nut inside me. Micro-chemerically, yeah.

Micro-chemerically. I'm the gengus con of micro-chemers. Yeah, I've absorbed, yeah. Like that nicotine. Per-servical mucus is like, mprimarily. I'm the gengus con of microcom. I've got a sorbda, yeah. Like that nicotine. Her cervical mucus is like, motsable. This is. I can't help it. I love them.

I'm simply not an anti-semite. I love the fucking Jews. Yeah, they're great. I'm a Jewish supremacist and I don't even qualify as a Jew. You got Jews are not a huge job. No one can deny. So the big anti-Semitic thing Which is so there you know I can buy like Jews control a hugely disproportionate amount of like power influence money

Yeah, but the concept the concept that but there's no they because the concept that they all got together and did anything except Snipe at other Jews is absurd. No, there's a total day because they're there's no they're Klanish. No, they're not. They just sue each other constantly. But do that too. No, they're sniping. They're not there's not a cookies. Okay, but my reply to that my response to that is that you're

going to be very sorry when the Jews don't control everything. Oh, Amy sucks. Oh my god. Holly want you want the rob in Europe's of the world to control things? This is why me too upset me so greatly, because I thought there was a way that things worked, which was you had sex with Jews too.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, help you in your career. Yeah. And then all of a sudden, it was like, that's not okay anymore. Right, say what you will, that Harvey Weinstein, but he did give those girls parts. So what happened to the crime 23 years, which is like a real death sentence for that guy, for what hiding behind a bush and wanking his weird little,

it was for having his testicle in his thigh. It's for having ugly, deformed testicle. Yeah, it's probably a year's, 23 years, three ugly and disgusting. What does that say about our body positive society? Dido for what's his name? The guy who got mean tood. The gay guy.

Oh, Scott Ruden. Scott Ruden was awesome. No, Ruden was really a bastard like you. He was just a nasty guy. I mean, he was a bit like person. But that's what it takes to fucking make it in Hollywood or it used to be. And now it's all run by some weird seal like committing.

I can say this now about heart. I've been waiting for years to say this about Harvey because at the time when it happened and we were like the premier chroniclers of me too, we were kind of hedging me like, oh, I'm sorry that happened or I'm happy for you. I'm not reading all that, but we stand with all of that. Yeah.

And there's a guy called Matthew Schmitz who's one of the founding fathers of Compact Mag, which I'm always asked upon to denounce because they're apparently communists who are pro-immigration. Not our business. Not our business. None of my business. I don't know about the other guys, but Schmitz really did a service for publishing an article

early in the game, Defending Harvey Weinstein. I wouldn't say he did nothing wrong that way like to say but i would say that that is the way things were done yeah i don't know that and that it was retroactively character wise as wrong i mean we don't like i have no idea but if i had to speculate i would say that people who fucked harby winestein kind of know what they were doing well they made that one, the chief witness who they made to look like a mahalin drive, Naomi Watts, farm girl who came. I read all this stuff surrounding the trial who like came to Hollywood with stars in her eyes,

trying to make it a whatever. They painted this picture of this girl who was like, you know, wearing the trowed wife dress and was like totally innocent naive. Well, that's also not, I mean, bullshit lies in a way, but not untrue. Like when I moved to LA, people told me like, oh, you're so blonde and pretty, you could be a Weinstein girl. Like that was a phrase people lobbed at me, meaning I could trade sack for the wine steam went to jail. It would have been a great story. I would have been into a lot of fever.

Let me ask you this, what do you think of the Stany Masterson rape case? I don't have that. I don't know anything about that. Yeah, that's a little. Scientologist scary. Yeah, he just got convicted of two rapes. I don't know much about this case either but he probably didn't well so it's an interesting case because the statute of limitations had expired the thing is 20 years old but they get a good scholar delicious yeah for some reason I've been looking at it man for some reason he's blushing. They got him, they have some technicality where if two people, you know, can accuse you

of the same sex crime like years later the statute of limitations no longer applies. So they went after him for that. I think they initiated the case kind of at the height of me too. And then the accusations were some crazy shit like he held him at gunpoint or something, I think. I might be wrong. Might be true. Yeah.

But then also, yeah, the church of Scientology like killed the girls pets and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just don't know. There is, there it was a, I was very traumatized and triggered by the wine scene as it was coming out. I remember that was around the time when we met and you were just sitting in bed scrolling through the... Yeah, every day I'd get a push notification about a new rape. I had to reflect to all the producers who had done horrible things to me. But I thought it was for the course that I didn't understand was rape and then I was like,

oh fuck, I guess even raped a bunch of times. And like having to be reminded of it over and over and over and over and over and over. That's the thing, it's like people retroactively are reminded of various traumas and then they start to like confabulate stuff in their mind, some real, some fake and they're like, oh shit, I was raped and you like assign a scribe terminology retroactively to these things that you never thought of before. And I was just from like a clinical perspective.

I was just doing what I thought I had to do. Yeah, just trying to survive. I was just trying to get ahead in this world. I know that I was getting raped. Yeah, I mean, I think I had this conversation with Dr. Drew, where like my feeling about it is that people are designed to move on and survive. They're not designed to relive their trauma

to plumb the depths of their trauma. No, no, no. This is like a sickening new paradigm where like the only way you get ahead is by launching a weird revisionist exhibition at the Brooklyn Museum about how some long dead artist was actually a rapist. The best one was when I was 19 years old,

LA Vizel grabbed my ass. Do you remember that one? Oh, yeah, from his wheelchair. I'm like, that moves. LA Vizel. The Holocaust. Let me grab an ass and see. He's been through a nut.

And then the article was like, I was 19, but I looked even younger. Yeah. I always loved, said, oh, and he remarked and how young I looked. Oh, he was, I was 25. I remember chimping about this in like 2021. There was like a hashtag that was like,

a me-to-ajacent one. It was like hashtag me at 14. It was like, women sharing jailbait photos on Twitter of themselves looking like hot and ripe as like, Ahsuka and Ray teens. Joe Biden got the accusation of like pulling at some 14 year old girls' tits. And then they post the picture and it's like

you're on her, you know, come on. Like he's seen Isle and Irish. Yeah, and I was, I posted one of those because literally hashtag when I was 14, I was wearing like fishnet, so it was a total psychotic weird slug who grew up in Las Vegas. Like I knew what I was 14, I was wearing like a fishnet, so it was a total psychotic weird slug group in Las Vegas. I knew what I was doing.

Well, if I may say something descriptive and not evaluative, it's like people very often, like we can play asking for it and deserving it. No one deserves it, but people are asking for it all the fucking time. Even unbeknownst to them. It's the dog raise up. Yeah, yeah. But maybe Harvey Weinstein did horrible shit. He absolutely did. He did.

Maybe he deserves to go to jail. And I don't know what he did was a crime because it was within a framework of what people in Hollywood at that time that changed very quickly basically overnight. It's a lot according to Jewish law. According to Jewish law. If you're going to put somebody in a movie, you're allowed to, to nut from your weird detached thigh testicle onto their face. I just think like whatever.

I think revisiting history and a bad thought and temporary moral lens to it is like a proxy for a deeper kind of cultural malaise. Yeah, like that was always my read on me too. I had this conversation with Angela Nagel where she because she was you know a hardcore Marxist was basically like, well, this is an economic problem because women are now finding themselves, like fully in the labor force they're competing with men, this erodes, standard gender roles. I look at it from a psychological perspective that proceeds from the economic one. Women think men are hostile and aggressive when they're really indifferent. That's really what they're chimping about. Women are mad that men don't notice them anymore because they view... That they're... that they're unping about. Women are mad that men don't notice them anymore because they view that they're that they're a professional competitors.

Yeah. They're mad they're in recovery and sex and love acts and Automus and can't engage with them. No, no, no, no, when men look at you, it's not in a sexual light. It's in a professionally competitive light. Right.

They're like, who's getting the bigger severance package? Or just simply like being irritated. Yeah, right. Oh, fucking like, because women, as you say, or can be irritating. They shirk and that was the big to me, the side effect of me too, it became extremely clear immediately that like, yeah, okay, so we're not going to hire women anymore. In these positions, because they are basically a liability or a walking liability yeah or now you only hire women and like we're unattractive

you only hire a beast with you anyways what's your favorite kind of woman? What's your type? Do you have a type? I'm like Asians. Well this is a weird, like, okay, I'm gonna have to regress to like my being from six months ago to just like, I'm so horny that I don't have a type. Like I like like, you know,

I don't wanna be crude here, but like, you know, I enjoy like a way fish, lender woman, I like a robust meaty woman. I like, I fucking, I do enjoy a good Southeast Asian broad. But I don't, like when I picture right now, when I picture, like the ideal woman, it's like a 37 year old Filipino American single mom, who has one kid who wants one more.

She lives in fucking Claremont or some other suburb where it's reasonably affordable to live. And you can have a good word. She's probably listening now. She's probably listening to RedScare right now. And if you're within the stand of my voice, please fucking send me an email from my website. Pepe Pino. I love how they say P instead of F, my personal trainer is a Filipino guy. He's not my, he's my friend's personal trainer.

But you've done the searching and fear this moral inventory, so you claim and you do not feel guilty for having sex with prostitutes. So first of all, I'm gonna have to start sober dating soon, which means I'm gonna have to actually make a list of the traits that I really am looking for soberly in a partner, right, which is gonna be like,

you know, a fucking intelligent, caring, stable woman that's age-appropriate. That's fucking the sirens went off right. They're honking for you. Wait, you guys speak of the devil. You know who just texted me? Angel and Eagle. Which he said.

I don't know, I haven't looked up, but that's so crazy. I just said, I loved her book. Yeah, she's great. So, but do I feel guilty for fucking prostitutes? Like, I'm going to have to deal with that. Yeah, like, I, there is guilt to be found in fucking prostitutes and like, I don't know what it is yet. And like, how am I going to make amends to prostitutes? I mean, there's one of the things I'll be found in, though. Right. Well, when I went,

when I did my searching in fearless moral inventory or a version of it and went to my, I did a general confession because I was not raised Catholic, though I was baptized into it. I went in last year to go see a priest and give him a confession of every sin I'd ever done in my entire life. And I did basically a version of that. And then I remember feeling like even though I had been technically Spiritually mystically absolved of those sins. I was like I do not feel forgiven For fapping to like maybe slaves like maybe people who like we're suffering immensely and especially Because this was around the time the Ukraine wars started I think I don't forgive myself for fapping to Ukrainian slaves.

But like I'm an Eastern European girl. I was fapping to Eastern European girls who were probably slaves or not or in a tremendous amount of pain. I got off on their pain. There's, I don't know. Oh, come on. Don't be so hard on yourself.

Well, I'm like a little passive now. But like what you really want us to just like stop the instinct that makes you far know things. This is a proxy for another deeper guilt that I can't, I don't know what it is right now, but anytime that you get to morally pent up about some, I'm not like you jerked off to. I'm not like hung up on it, but it feels like in that way I was, I don't know, like I need it. You feel worse than I do and I fuck slay it. Yeah, you did. Exactly. And I feel bad just for like, you know what your problem is. It's not the guilt that you feel from patronizing prostitutes or watching too much porn.

It's how you're going to explain that to 37 year old Filipino single mom, which here's you on this podcast. Well, she's been to the Philippines, she fucking knows. She knows. But I also know it's not the worst thing that can happen to like, how do you explain your wrongdoing to others? To God.

Yeah. Yeah, well, okay. But others, like God is others. Well, to me, it's I'm in pain. I wanna see someone else in pain. There's some like loop in some cycle of self. It's like, you feel the suffering. like loop in some cycle of stuff. I'm in the cycle that you feel and I want to break free of it.

Not to Ukrainian slaves. No, no, no. I don't feel like I owe them an apology, but just like I do feel so there. I have. Could you fly over there and apologize? I don't feel like. I'm sorry.

But just because they look like they look like a volleyball after they suffered the way I did. Yeah, but that's why you're fapping to them exactly And you're trying to relive your own trauma People So what does it mean that I've had to Harmon Hayes Google her quit squirging yourself You're not gonna like in the bean, Dasha, Jesus fuck. I know.

And sometimes it's so fucked up. Holy, whew. How fuck? Holy shit. Look at her pants. You know, she's like the sexy version of the chick from Where is the world? And where in the world is Carmen Sandiaga?

Nowadays, if I do succumb to PNM and I am able to watch a porn that is just like, people having sex, I feel like good. I'm like, that's whoo. I'm like, no. I'm like, nice. You know, I should say that like the Filipino prostitutes I fucked, like, I also talked to, like I interviewed them for my books. You did emotional labor.

I wrote them. You had an extraordinary amount of emotional labor. And I stayed in touch with them and like, they're not, you know, they're not slaves. They're like fully formed human being. No, I know they're not. You bought the piano squad. To compensate them for doing. They did, when they got angry at me, I would point it in a clip and they're not shackled like an owl in a whatever Cafe but they are in slaves there whenever you feel guilt about fapping to Ukrainian slaves or Filipino slaves really what you're feeling is guilt for Being neglectful toward yourself and the people around you. That's my read on it

Yeah, you're you're You're feeling a much more real and ordinary guilt for being a shabby person in your day-to-day life. Why don't you just try a day of jerking off two memories of sex? Well, no, eventually at post-slaw. Like, it's your parents. Post-slaw, honestly. When I started studying, like,

Straussburg technique acting, which was a very like a, I'm sorry, so fucking corny, it's like, you're a bunch of... It's in the Stanislavski school, like a very like embodied kind of, yeah, I was like, I am dissociating sexually, and I need to be,

I like since then I have been able to have an orgasm through relatively normal means and I much better than I was. I was like, this was like, I was like 24. This was a long time ago. And I don't need to watch, like, Russian slaves get raped to come or anything like that, but I still feel a lot of less so, but initially, like a year ago, I did. I felt a lot of shame and guilt that I didn't feel

absolved of, even though a priest said it was okay. Well, you need to do so you did the fifth step. Which one is that? The fifth step is communicated to God into another human being. God ourselves into another human being, the exact nature of our wrong. So it's you can fast all the stuff from your fourth step to another person. Yeah. And now you need to make a list of your character defects,

become willing for God to remove them all, humbly ask God to remove your shortcomings, make a list of all persons you've harmed, and you know, became willing to make, become willing to make them into them. Please fix my asymmetrical face. Please fix my asymmetrical face. Please fix my ass. I'm gonna fix my ass. I'm gonna fix my ass. I'm gonna fix my ass.

I'm gonna fix my ass. I'm gonna fix my ass. I'm gonna fix my ass. I'm gonna fix my ass. I'm gonna fix my ass. I'm gonna fix my ass. I'm gonna fix my ass. I'm gonna fix my ass.

I'm gonna fix my ass. I'm gonna fix my ass. I'm gonna fix my ass. I'm gonna fix my ass. I'm gonna fix my ass. I'm gonna fix my ass. I'm gonna fix my ass. I'm gonna fix my ass.

I'm gonna fix my ass. I'm gonna fix my ass. I'm gonna fix my ass. I'm gonna fix my ass. I'm gonna fix my ass. I'm gonna fix my ass. I'm gonna fix my true. I was just making a joke. I was a good joke. I was really disappointed reading that It's not true. It's normal. She's like going on Twitter and telling them to delete it now. I'm like How dare you say Nio not see every day. I know For like a fascist and a neo-naughty everyday. I know, it all looks like a brown bottle.

No. No. The mark of Jengus Khan is not the blue bruise. It's a brown bottle. Yeah, and I said she was freak me out because they have very brown genitalia in her light there and dodges that they're just like, you're for real. Who would... Wait, who are you talking about originally? She would eat it. Who were you?

Wait, who are you talking about originally? She would eat it. She would eat it. She was throwing her, because I went like a sex tourist to a she would eat her cafe to try and clutch and hold the she was, which they told me I was not allowed to do. I was also, I had to graze them as they planned by me. I, yeah, what do you? Okay, here's my final question.

All right, because we've been going for a while. We have, we've almost done, we've done over two hours. And I have one more question too, I think, but go on. Okay, yeah, I've done everything to fucking do. What mental illness to cat men suffer from? Because most men are dog men. I mean, and most, most men, I, like just speaking from personal experience, most men are dog men. I mean, and most men, I, like, just speaking from personal experience, most men that I have dated are either hay

or are indifferent to cats and really like dogs. Yeah, well, I'm the opposite. I have toxopus muscles. And I'm a dog girl. Yeah, toxopus muscles draws me to cats. But I have to have gotten it from somewhere. Yeah. But will you get you can also pass it along to your kids too.

So I might have got it from my mom. Hi, yeah, yeah. But I also I have very bad OCD. OCD? Yeah, where am I? You really are a spiritual Jew, huh? Like I think like I see loves the Jews. I think red and raw.

And I don't know. And some I do I look I'm I enjoy the Jews. I love the Jews. I like like when I was a kid like I thought if I didn't perform like these crazy rituals like I would go to hell or my family would die and like my mom would be like burnt to death and stuff and so I had to know who else has this Phil broth. Yeah. That if he steps on the crack his mother will die. Yeah. Yeah. That's exactly what it is. I think it's probably taken from real life. That's one of those things. Absolutely. About to this role and to real. Yeah. Matthew too, if he says, yeah, it brushes teeth

and we battle. So here's the follow up question. Why are men who suffer from severe OCD who are primarily Jewish men, which I have a lot of experience with? So, actually, like, obviously, like a lot of like, I used to live in an orthodox Jewish neighborhood. And a lot of their shit was obviously from OCD. Well, I went to college and said, what you're saying is that you've been poor your whole life. So like, yeah, because you're just living in all these weird immigrants. So they had like a, you know, a string around the phone line so that they were technically

in an enclosed space so that they could you know Whatever turn on a lights. Well, that's their children whatever it was. Yeah, and like that's so clearly like an OCD Interpretation of some Talmudic law. I mean, I think Talmudic law is like By definition and kind of OCD. Yeah, and like anxiety driven. Sorry, but I didn't Like purging the of OCD and like anxiety driven. Sorry, but I didn't mean it in terms of... Like purging the unclenliness that comes from like foreign interlopers. I just read this in Kata-hi. Anyway.

Why are men who suffer from severe OCD so sexually promiscuous and disgusting? Like men who suffer from OCD have this unique quality where they will like use hand sanitizer and wash their hands like 30 times a day and like not share drinks with people. But literally eager ass after meeting you at a club at 2am. Well, I don't eat ass personally, but I do have unproductive sex with hookers in Cambodia and Unprotected really they don't make you use a call if they you know if they if they want me to I will but they don't they clock Yeah, they clock you interesting. Yeah, but they also like they get tested like there's the there's infrastructure You are a handsome man. Thank you for saying

If I was a Filipino hooker There's there's infrastructure. Let's get you are a handsome man. Thank you for saying If I was a Filipino hooker Yeah, you would be like receive you warmly. You'd be like thank God I was enslaved So I could lay with this man finally who's gonna write about me in his great Normal maybe we'll get a second mention in a book if you want to know that we got mentioned in wellbex last novel In well wait, it's last novel. No, he's new his new a novel. He you want to know that we got mentioned in Wellbex last novel. Uh, in, well, wait, it's last novel. No, he's new. His newest novel. He's writing another novel. He wrote it. It's not like a diary novel, but he talks about coming on the phone. Yeah. Oh, I saw that sexy. Yeah. We said, yes, you're a type of woman that doesn't exist in France. Yeah.

That's fantastic. I mean, what can you say? Like, well, I'll do it. So, would you do us a favor and write it? Can you just write a little story? We're a type of woman that doesn't exist, period. We're trying to suck deep right when Catholics. That's not a thing. Stupid, we're tired. I'll try to write you into something. I mean, I-

No, I'm just being honest. Will- Will- Muses get bruises, and I like to say. And that's incredible, that you're in a fucking well-backed book. I mean, that really is being in the canon. But yes, why do I- Why do I think that if I choose the wrong mango at the grocery store, my family will go to hell, but I think nothing of being the 10th guy that night

to go raw in Sally from the drill shack in Angela City, Philippines. Good question. I don't know. I have no idea. One day, I will get an answer. Yeah. By the way, if people want to read about my Filipino prostitute experiences, it's in my novel, finally, some good news, which is about the old one.

Amazon. Would you tell me it was the least wrong to have your books? It really is. I know. You too. Because I said, I was very Catholic at that point. Still, bam, Catholic, of course. But I was, you, I was like, which a Catholic at that point still damn Catholic of course

But I was you I was like which book That was an interesting like you did ask me that and like I really wanted to respect your beliefs And I just hadn't read that book in a while So I was like but it is really is the least Yeah, it is the other one even more on you but then I what's the one where there's like a procession of female sex slaves after the nuclear Holocaust that's that's finally some goodness. Yeah, it's full thinking. But in reality, the women would be the masters

and the men would be the slaves. Maybe. My last question is when I'll borrow from Anna, who very brilliantly said when we had mold bug on the show, why are mensage lived hards for pussy? Well, he's a lived hard period. Yeah, I really, I was a genuine Bernie Sanders supporter. I do, I also, I also think that like,

I'm helping a Pisces. He banged and interned somewhere and they had that over him and like, that's why he pussyed out in 2016. I think, I think. I see his problems. He's not crazy. He's a horny, horny. There's no way that guy fucks more than like, once a year to put his story. What is he saying?

Well, look. He's a horny old Jew. But you ponder while I look. Wait, turn around. Nice. Bernie. Nice. That's Bernie.

That's Bernie. Fantastic. People are like, is that Leonard Cohen? No, that's Farnie. It's a poster that just says, Jew for the listeners. Jew period. Tember 8th. So he's a sad. Virgo?

September 8th is Virgo. Virgo. I mean, speaking only for myself, like I needed, I needed, this is probably not past tense, but like I need women's approval and respect and love so badly. All of you, okay, you got it here on Red Square. Like if you guys had come in and been like,

actually we really do think that black people should be exterminated. I would've been like, yeah. Well, you know what I said, on, if you scratch a misogynist, you will find a simp. Yeah. Yeah. I'm really I'm needy for women and that's what I'm trying to get over. And that's all men are.

That's the ultimate and most real mommy issue is that men really want our approval. And we have an almost impossible amount of power. And that's why we're always chimimping not you and me personally but we have to have too much power and responsibility and we don't fucking want it. Yeah. Yeah. If you go to the you know your baby like if you go take a shower and you're gone from your baby for seven minutes. Well I realized a really fucked up thing after having a son. I don't know if it would work the same for a daughter but the dynamic between the father and the son is completely different from the mother and the son.

And this is when Freudianism became really real for me because I've always understood it intellectually, but never spiritually. And my baby fully hits me and abuses me in a way that he doesn't Eli because he respects him and he doesn't respect me. But he also craves my approval and will do weird kind of pseudo sexual things like grab my boob or grab my thigh in a very violent way. Which like all male babies do. This is not like.

Similarly, like Shinji won't immediately lash out at Gendo Ikari. Yeah, he really won even though You know Gendo's pretty clearly an evil mastermind from like frame one and either Borships Ray and really rejection G and Shinji doesn't even want to be there He's in a whine missato's whole point of being there is like sexually entice him somehow into getting into the Ava and he's like blind to her advances. While all his friends are like, it's not all that's so hard. It's all like a heartbreaking show.

It's the best work of art I've ever seen. Really? It's up there. For me, it really is like the pinnacle of, especially if you watch End of Ava too, as a companion to the finale. It's like, he's a autistic genius, and it's, but also the anime. I'm autistic, and I'll talk to him, and the flashing, even the robot sequences, which I know are hard to get.

We don't talk about how like just formally exquisite it is. It's incredible, just like all the flares and the lights. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And even when they depict heat in the distance, you know when you're like in a really hot climate. And there's like the cicadas. And there's like the cicadas. The sound editing is insane.

Like everything about the show is perfect. And I was, I actually had this insight when I was watching the show. And I was like, I have no idea what Dalsha and Tacos are on about this is just a cartoon. And then I was like, I'm watching idea what Dasha and Taka's are on about. This is just a cartoon. And then I was like, I'm watching this. This is like a 37 year old woman who's red, Freud, who's red lash, who has been black piled on this stuff.

But if you watch it for the first time with fresh eyes, of course it's like a completely like remarkable life changing work of art. Well, I had read Freud and I mean, I watched when I was 30. I watched it during the pandemic. Oh, okay. I was so kind of like late in the game. Yeah, I know. No, I watched it like late in the game, but in this really highly charged existential like plague, this is a period. Yeah, and I would also even say that because it's foreign because it's Japanese and it's not an American or an English production. Their interpretation of human psychology is a bit more distant and clinical from our perspective.

So it kind of like fleshes it out and lays it bare more than like something like the sopranos. And visually I think it just tickles really so much my autism to see like all of the battle when I was walking around Shabuya back to our hotel and I walked past like an arcade that was playing the decisive battle like soundtrack the song that plays whenever there's a robot battle I was like done done done done done done done done and I was like

I Like really like triggers. I just I really the work even the repetitiveness of all the robot battles and stuff for me on some autistic level is so satisfying. And then when you get to the end, it's like the as a whole thing, as a whole work of art for me is the, I honestly, when I watched the sopranos, I was like, I'll never do anything even 25% as good as the sopranos. And then I watched NG, and I was like, well, this is just, this is like the medical of a part.

I mean, I just like that devolution from it being like, a anime to being cave drawings was incredible. Even if you say that it was a product of financial constraint. That's what they say, but I don't know. I don't think that's the case. I also said that the misato sex scene, when it just pans over to a cigarette,

an ass train, what's the sex scene when she fucks codgy? When she fucks codgy and it just pans over to a ass train you hear the sounds, I hear it was also due to budget constraints that they couldn't actually depict them fucking, but it's also so much for a power. I think it's because Japanese are masters of indirection. That's why they blur the genitalia out.

They actually didn't know what people fucking look like. They didn't know. Well, there's also a really great scene where she first reconnects with Kaji at that wedding. And she spends the night with him and they're in an alley, and it looks like they're raw, dogging outside, but it turns out that he's like holding her hair while she's vomiting and it's like a Insinuation of a sex act. She's off and he carries her. It's all like everywhere heels now I love hearing you guys talk about this. This is like just hearing the two of you go off about NGE

Has been Hornies of you go off about NGE has been. It's making you horny. Yeah, I don't get horny anymore. There's so much about it that I really, really, really, okay, well, here's my last question. Do you think that you don't get horny anymore? You can manage your horny impulses because you're in the program. Or is it because you're merely older and more serious? Because I'm 47 years old and low-tape. Yeah, I'm sure it's a combination of both things I'm sure yeah, I'm like is a rational like a rate of a post-hawk rationalization for the fact that we

Then I'm just old yeah crank and I just want to sit at home and watch television like with your like Like The Le Pen and sing a mom girl friend. Yeah. Yeah. I want to have a bird feeder. Yeah, and some a garden and Some pets. I know why the right one likes you even though you're a leftist It's because you like the animal. Yes, that's what really unites the right all love the animals It's that we're all like raging sociopath animals The dog the dog mom is the true Standard bearer of the left

like the not the healthy not the healthy love for a dog This is you the first time you ever like noticed me, it was quoting me about that big dogs replace a man and small, like a child. Yeah, yeah, that's another one of my favorite places. Yeah, yeah. And that's why I want a Vichla. Yeah. Didn't you?

Yeah, you had a pit bull too, right? My boyfriend had a pit bull. I was like the foster mom. I grew up with the, I stepped up. I had a why mariner growing up. Huh? So I'm very attached to that style of dog. I have like hunting, water hunting dogs. Yes, and I think Vichlas are exquisite.

And every time I see one, I am my breath. It's taken away, and I would love so much. But in New York, it's inhumane to have a husky or a Vichla or any kind of dog that needs, like, you can't, if you're walking, you're fucking husky. You viscela or any kind of dog that needs like you can't yeah if you're walking your fucking husky or a lask and you're a sociopath meant to like fight off polar bears while running the fucking I did a rod exactly but talk us that's why I like you're writing because it on the surface it seems very like confessional and autofictiony but there are some very profound insights up in there

thank you yeah it's not I enjoy your sub stack of prayers for your enemies. Thank you very much. It's yes, it's not I don't want to speak the subtexture, but it's not about, or it's not all about being a horny degenerate incubus. It's about, you know, peace and love and watching the squirrels and loving other people and trying to serve God and be good in the world. That's what I try to do. So thank you. Amen, brother. See you in hell. you