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So far, it's so over. So, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, We're podcasting from the Tokyo Park Hyatt as seen in the Academy Award-winning film Lost
in Translation.
I've been doing a big Lost in Translation LP, on my own these couple days.
But now that you're here, I'm actually, I was thinking about it and you're kind of like
Scargona, I'm like, Bill Murray.
Wait, how?
Because I'm an actor.
Oh, true.
And you have big natural.
Yeah.
And I'm just so lost and confused right now.
Mm-hmm.
Have you seen Lost and Dancing?
Yeah, I love it.
It's one of my favorite movies.
I'm going to watch it on the plane home if it's available.
I think it is.
First class baby, business class.
What's the difference between first and business?
Well, first is nicer.
Okay.
If you can believe it, I know business class is so nice. I think there might not be a first class on air Canada.
Yeah, maybe not. I didn't see one.
I've never flown first class in the third tier system, but I obviously fly business.
We're salary men on a business show.
Salary women.
Intokyo.
How?
We have sex with prostitutes.
We are sex tourists.
Do you think that the people at this hotel
think were lesbians?
Because when I check a ruin, I say,
reservation is for Dasha, Necrusava.
And they were a little confused.
They thought it was maybe you and then I was like, no, she's already here.
It's really lost in translation.
Yeah, it's really gets lost.
And then they're like, I'm holding my hand over my mouth in the manner that Japanese women
demurily laugh to signify so cute.
They're roasting you.
Mr. Harris, lift my stocking.
No, they think you're my prostitute.
Yeah, you're here to service me for the night.
Yeah, they're like, she has a weird fetish for mommy milker.
Milker.
Milker.
So let's just get ready to what's going on with the toilets.
I don't know, they pleasure you.
Do you think?
Yeah.
It's real otaku culture up in here.
Think Japanese people think about going to the bathroom
more or less than
people in the West. I don't know, that's a hard question because on the one hand they seem like
such NPCs and actually like walking around Tokyo and Kyoto like a Dahmer victim with a hole drilled
in my head made me realize how overall like generally buoyant and happy. They seem even though their countryside is teaming with ghosts.
Yes.
And like, Oni Boba's.
But on the other hand, they have so many buttons.
As you pointed out, Japanese love technology.
I personally think this level of technology
can get self-defeating at the margins.
For instance, the taxis all have automatic doors
that slide open, which is kind of annoying.
All sometimes you want to do it manually.
I like it.
It always feels like a treat when the taxis doors open
on their own for me.
It does initially, but then you realize it.
Because I'm usually carrying a bunch of stuff.
Oh crap. And then the little worker amp skurs out. but then you realize it because I'm usually like carrying a bunch of stuff.
And then the little worker amp scurries out. That's just your luggage for you and you're like, do I tip a who or not? You don't have to tip a who. And the amount of the
hospitality is just unparalleled. So they have a lot of rules. Anyway, they do have a lot of rules and they abide by them.
But they also have a lot of weird, almost semi-antisocial rule-breaking customs.
Like you're allowed to sleep anywhere.
That's because they're so tired.
Inception ask our country.
Yeah.
Anyway, you were saying, I forgot.
I guess we should recap our trip.
I have a whole list of notes that I've been keeping in my no app.
I'll just read them all.
Yeah, yeah.
That's more prepared than I am.
I have not left the parkiah in a couple days.
It's a very imposing fortress-like building
that's actually three buildings, kind of stuck together.
And this is my temple.
Yeah.
I saw your tweet that was like the Tokyo parkiah
is more beautiful than any temple or any shrine.
Shrines are like little Italian villages.
Once you've seen one, you've seen them all.
So true.
Except for the King Kakuju, the golden shrine,
which is the sub-dormitimation of the mystery.
I think I've been there in Kyoto last time I was here.
I'm sure.
I do feel guilty for literally not leaving the hotel. No, it's cool
I wouldn't leave this hotel if I the fucking little dogs and the elevators the dogs
sculptures the Follini satiricon wall are
Yeah, it's just they take really good care of you here. Mm-hmm. They got the 24 hour room service
You can eat mashed potatoes as I did yesterday.
I love travel.
What can I say?
Yeah, it's nice to feel out of control.
I'm passionate about hotels.
So as I happen to be a big hobby of mine.
Yeah, so it's a very labyrinth in building. I was lied to. I went down and tried to smoke
a cigarette. They told me it was on the 40th floor in order to access the building. You have
to go to the 41st floor, which is, you know, a big barrier to entry. Walked through this
weird garden labyrinth felt like theesios slaying the
minotaur, because it was like my own mental demons. Yeah, I made a little shrine to my
cigarettes, like line them up. I figured I'd have three, since it was like so difficult.
So far. Yeah, you're travelers.
We were a traveler. A traveler rogue.
But I was out in about prior.
We stayed at a hotel in Shibuya for the first seven days here.
And I left a fair amount, but also kind of was very stressful to leave because Shibuya
is really messy and chaotic.
It's the most populous crossing in the world.
And Tokyo is the biggest city in the world.
Is that correct?
Okay.
I don't know.
There's a lot.
That's what Eri-san says. Yeah, it's huge. Yeah, like it's
kind of like 40 minutes minimum to walk anywhere, 20 minutes minimum to drive anywhere.
Yeah. It's not like New York, but the trains are the trains are nice. Yeah. And I feel I haven't been biting my nails because I feel so at peace.
You feel so zen.
I really feel very good.
In a fascist ethno state.
Feels good.
Yeah.
Where you can have upholstered seats on the train because no one barfs or comes on them.
You said that the bar in SF also has them.
He's dead.
I don't know what I live there, which was like hoping they remedy that.
I people would get like staff infections and stuff from the barts seats.
Probably.
They were like cushioned.
It's disgusting.
That's how you get on prop enough. That's how you sit on the vartee.
Yeah, it has the soft fascism.
It also has the infantilized kind of kawaii culture, which I like and also has the otaku culture. It's the perfect intersection of many autism's the way I'm affected with. So I feel good here
because it feels like the atmosphere matches my internal state. Yeah. If that makes sense. Which is contained but chaotic. Yeah exactly.
And adorable. And aesthetically exacting. Would you commit subpoco? Yes. Of course. If I brought
dishonor to myself and my family. What would be your definition of bringing dishonor?
To your self and your family.
No, I feel actually so dishonorable and clumsy and stuff here.
I've suffered many humiliations.
Like what?
Like when everyone laughed at me at the Japanese restaurant,
we were saying hi.
And sake.
When the waitress was giggling at me.
And the sushi chef laughed and they were all laughing at me.
They're always laughing at you.
Not you personally, but at one.
And I love them. We love them for that, we love them for that.
We love them for that.
You like being the blondest person here.
I like being the tallest person here, even though I'm shorter than you.
I'm literally like a head or two taller than your average lady here.
I'm a super model.
I'm a rena-shake.
We have similar nasolabial folds. Yeah.
The old Japanese man, I love, yeah, the dignity with which people carry themselves here.
And I do like being the blondest girl around.
I met a Japanese guy in the park the other day who was asking me about, he said, I noticed
you are foreign.
I was like, he wasn't even autistic, honestly, he was just horny, maybe.
But he didn't grow me, I haven't gotten groped once.
Same though, I met a businessman, white, and the elevator coming up in here, who put his arm on my shoulder.
What?
Yeah.
Why?
Because he literally put his arm on my shoulder and reached over to press the floor that
he was going to.
And I was like, oh, you horny boop.
I almost unbooped.
Because I'm so, because here,
we can say those words,
we can use a lot of language here.
This is the country of the end bomb,
by which I don't mean new clear.
But that's it, the other end word.
I'm not gonna crack open this,
yeah, it's a Cabernet.
Nagasaki, the other word. I wanted to go to Nagasaki originally but then realized
it's very very far and I had anxiety initially. Let me please let me serve you like
thank you. Initially I had that we both talked about how we had this feeling of anxiety of
like wanting to really like take in all
the sites.
And instead, I just did a bunch of shopping and dropped.
I don't even know how much money.
It's allegedly, quote, tax-free.
Okay.
Yeah, at the end of the conversion rate, I don't know.
I think it's, I don't like nothing.
I think the dollar is stronger, so it's actually cheaper for us to shop here, but
marginally, it's a pretty expensive country, all in all.
I really don't know.
How much is like 5,000 yen?
5,000 yen is probably around $40, $45, right?
That's nothing.
Yeah, it's not that much.
But when you buy as many ceramics as I did,
it really adds up.
Yeah, I know.
And also you have to factor in the loss.
And I'm assuming that I'm gonna lose some in transit.
Like it'll break.
Yeah, they will break.
Yeah, I didn't buy anything like that.
I did a lot of, I didn't buy anything like that. I
Did a lot of shot. I still haven't gone to Don Quixote. Mm-hmm. You could
Make a run over there tomorrow morning though. I see what you're saying because
Our check out is at
noon generous
Our flight is at five. Yeah
You would think that that would give you a nice window to run to Don Cajote,
but in this hotel, it might not because it's so fortress-like and labyrinth and you
might get lost. It's hard. Yeah. I did. I mean, I did go to a Japanese SSPX
mass on Sunday.
on Sunday. And I took it was in like a sort of not very non-central part of Tokyo and I was very hungover. And then was like wandering around there and was like, what the fuck am I gonna get back?
It's really hard to hear like, how bad is it, yeah. I like, my mother, they know stop for a guy,
gen.
They do, they do not.
Another humiliation of like waving friendlyly at like,
the cab drivers, trying to get them to stop.
But besides that, yeah, I haven't.
I haven't really left. Do you. I haven't really. I haven't really.
I haven't really.
I haven't really.
I haven't really.
I haven't really.
I haven't really.
I haven't really.
I haven't really.
I haven't really.
I haven't really.
I haven't really.
I haven't really.
I haven't really.
I haven't really.
I haven't really.
I haven't really.
I haven't really.
I haven't really.
I haven't really.
I haven't really.
I haven't really. I haven't really. I haven't really. I haven't really. I haven't really. like enumerate all the things that you love, like the Japanese breakfast, choking down some fish bones.
Yeah, I am eating the mornin'.
I am eating the bones.
I'm glad you are.
Tim, we're getting our bones.
The coat of the head.
I eat the tail, the bones.
The butt hole.
The tail, the bones.
The butt hole.
I eat all that, all that stuff.
I like the civility and the decorum.
Yes.
What don't you like about Japan?
I like, well, that's a hard question.
I mean, I think once again,
at a certain extreme, the technology becomes self-defeating.
I like the racism.
I like the toilet.
Yeah.
I find myself thinking less about the bathroom.
I've gotten used to the heated seats, which were kind of the learning curve to begin with.
You can turn them off.
That wouldn't occur to me.
Yeah, I don't want a lot of buttons.
Are you using the bidet function?
No.
Like, boop, I washed my ass in the sink.
I'm like, boop, I wash my ass in the sink. I'm like Paris Hines, IP and shower in the sink.
No, I'm too scared to fire up the Bade function
because I'm afraid I might like it too much.
And I have to install a Bade in my tiny Chinatown tenement.
Matthew has a bidet.
Faggot.
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
It was...
It's not as intricate as the...
As the Japanese...
It's hard to figure out which button you should press
because like you worry that you might press the wrong button
and then
a Fukushima event might happen.
I mean, it has a picture of a buy.
I know, it's very cute. It's very twisted and Freud makes me think that they're way more into butt stuff than they let on.
Well, that's why.
I mean, we've toured the sex shops.
We have, yeah.
It's very compartmentalized. They don't do they're not too
Scatalogical though at the sex stores. It's I like how compartmentalized it is
And I like that I can go to sex stores, which I would never do in New York
Yeah, because it would be like gross and CD and intimidating. Yeah. And here it's not. It's
Hawaii. Staryl. And I don't feel like judged for any of my
prickly things. Going to a sex store in Japan is like going to
TJ Maxx commercials or like home goods in America, you're
just like browsing your like at Barnes and Noble. You're just checking out the goods.
I like the cross sections of the fleshlake,
pocket posties, whatever.
You can see like the little teeth and stuff.
There's so like anatomical.
Yeah.
That's a big motif in Hentai as well, the cross section,
which I think is intriguing.
You know, if we were really smart business women, while the cross section, which I think is inch intriguing.
So we were really smart business women.
We would manufacture Anna and Dasha fleshlates.
No, Anna.
Curse.
They're all boons now.
I don't know.
I don't know.
They have like, they're coins enough.
They have yarn in them.
This flesh like socks.
It's got no grip.
Mine weird leo's teeth.
Smells bad.
I'm just kidding. that's crass. My pussy has normal elasticity and normal
pH balance very much. But there would be an interesting branding opportunity. I wish I mean, I'm fans here. We really don't.
I got recognized twice.
Nice.
Literally at the Uniqlo
by someone I think who knew me off succession, actually.
And then by a gay guy, literally like,
a baby,
like Lolita dressed up.
And I was like, trying something on him.
He was like, Dasha and I was like, damn,
I was like, it's really on brand.
That he would find me.
Yeah.
He knew where to find you.
He knew, yeah.
Like those dime square trannies,
who are like girls, you wanna get a drink?
I have four children too
Oh, I wanted to give a special shout out also to
Night in Galbar. Oh, yes, what a lovely place
Night in golden guy golden gay
And Golden Guy. Golden gay.
I had a nice time at Eli's show, too.
He's very well-wanted.
He's big in Japan.
Yeah.
He, like, wanted me to mention that he's a big celebrity in Japan.
He is.
He literally is.
Which makes sense because no one cares about us at all.
I know. It's like when we went to New Hampshire with Michael Tracy,
and I wrote, he's like, hey, Tracy, and we were like,
what the fuck?
It's freeing and liberating in some way.
Well, yes, very much so.
No, I like the, I like, I mean, I also like to be in a city more than like you like me recognize.
No, I mean, like Tokyo. I just like being, the train makes me feel empowered to kind of go wherever,
as opposed to like, in the, that's kind of why I didn't really venture out of Tokyo because I like to be in a
densely populated area.
It's because to quote Jack the perfume nationalist cities are breeding grounds for women and
tranny's and other people who can't drive.
Exactly. Exactly, yeah.
So it really is, I'm pressed to think of something I don't like about Japan, honestly.
Sort of the technology, the etiquette, and attention to detail can get a little self-defeating.
I don't like when you buy something in a store and they take four hours to fully gift wrap it.
Everything takes forever.
And they take the price tags off meticulously.
Yeah.
And I'm like, nah, I want the tags on
because I'm gonna be gifting it.
I don't want people to think that I just like
ripped it off of a shrine or something.
Ha ha ha ha. like ripped it off of a shrine or something. Yeah, I feel super ghetto here, because I...
Yeah, you feel...
Can't help but think of how easy it would be to commit some crimes.
Right, it really, yeah, because they have an honor code and you are really a defunct an
anti-social person if you don't honor the honor code.
Yes, but it would be really easy to fully shoplift thousands of yarn of stuff to steal and never
pay for the train and and and I do have intrusive thoughts of doing those things but I have not.
Yeah, in a weird way it heightens your anti-social impulses to live in such an orderly and conservative and conformist society
Which is why they have like periodic outbursts of extreme violence like people releasing anthrax on the subway or like
school shootings. I do love the school children in their tiny little bucket hats and tartan
plaats. And also there's a custom here. Apparently I recently learned, thanks to somebody on
Instagram, that children generally are allowed to roam free and run errands on their own
from a very young age because it's understood that there's a social contract and everyone in the society will sort of look out for them.
Which like, can you imagine?
No, not at all.
In America, you're not even at risk so much of being carried off by a pedophile as you
are getting hit by a car cap by a stray.
Like some totally retarded thing.
It's not safe.
It was safe for me. Yeah. It's not safe. It was safer.
Yeah.
It was here, it's true.
I do just feel a ton of safety and goodwill.
The other thing that I don't necessarily see as a negative,
but which is interesting is that for all of their perfectionism, when it comes to artistry,
they've only managed to produce a handful of serious, world-famous composers like Ruchi Sakamoto
and Toru Takumitsu. And I wonder if the attention to detailed self is kind of an impediment to creativity
because creativity demands a certain looseness and willingness to be humiliated.
But they lack as a face-saving culture.
They really have the shame is...
I don't think I could do it.
I don't think I could be a Japanese person.
I mean, that's the other thing that you realize
rooffully when you're walking around.
You're like, oh, I love this culture in country so much
because it's so high trust and it's so functional
and so clean and beautiful and friendly.
You could never live here.
Like you could live in Paris, London, Berlin,
whatever any Western city you could never live here. Like you could live in Paris, London, Berlin, whatever any Western city you could not live here.
And if you did, you go mentally.
I'll do it.
Allison lived here for a year.
I mean, yeah, and then,
I mean, look how she turned out.
She, the Japan was really good for her, actually.
When she came back,
she was way more polite and like
quiet and you could tell it had kind of edifying. Oh interesting. I thought that was like her
natural character because she has very Japanese and she has very Japanese style and I can see
how the Japanese would be like attracted to her vibe and personality. Definitely. I got it.
Yeah, she fared well here.
I could live here a little, but I don't know.
I mean, yeah, you could live here.
I could live here for like six months, a year maybe.
And it would be like probably a fun and edifying.
But after a while, you would start to lose it.
I bet I wouldn't even get
loan. Honestly being here, I was like, what was college rancens so upset about in that move?
Was that like fucking bitch off? Do you think we could get Japanese boyfriends?
Do you think any man with day art washed up post wall else?
I kind of am not feeling super desirable here, which also is a nice change of pay.
No, but I am. I have kind of been like, wow, I'm really just not getting.
No, that guy in the park talked to me, he asked me if I was a fashion model.
Nice.
So, you know, maybe we could.
I'm a fascist model.
Oh, yeah.
I'm a podcaster.
I think we could get, we could get Japanese boyfriends,
actually, I take it back, I think we could.
I would love to have like a 45 to 55
year old Japanese boyfriend with tattoos and very long hair maybe a
perm I'm upset a really smart thing that stuck with me that the men here are
more attractive than the women because the women are attractive mainly
owing to their bearing and manners like they're very demure and ladylike and
not at all like the retarded veera goes and harpies
you know
like Christine push-off or whatever her name is. Stupid Kunsoo, yeah.
But the men here, we're not really doing a lot
to dispel the Bapis gay rumors, but the men here
are very, actually some of them are very masculine
in spite of the large quantities of soy they consume.
While the soy's, that's fake.
No, I know, I know, I know.
I'm just being a fucking bitch.
I find Japanese men attractive.
I would go, I would data full on business man though.
I'd love to data guy who works all the time.
I wanna, yeah, I wanna,
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna guy who talks like this.
Er, I want like a middle-aged salary man.
Who's like, you always either like,
working really hard or really drunk.
Yeah.
So you never have to see him ever.
I'd go and think on vendors with my chakky boyfriend.
Are notably sexually attractive here, which is weird.
I also really like their kind of lamer baggy style.
Yeah, oh my god, they dress great.
The clothes are awesome.
Even the vagabonds, it's awesome to go to Uniclo and not...
Who are few and far in between?
It's awesome to go to Uniclo and...
Oh, I was gonna make a joke about vanity size.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, they don't have...
Is the sizing really different though?
Um, it's more like a small in an American unit glow is not truly small.
Yeah, it's like a medium large.
We're here.
It is actually is small.
Yeah.
I yeah, the scale of of Tokyo is satisfying to me as a slender
women on the lower end of the normal BMI range. We're actually probably a small and not an extra small and certainly not an extra extra small.
But we be fitting into that double zero in the United States, which always makes you feel bad also because you're like,
I'm paying the same amount of money for less fabric.
It's true.
It's true, yeah.
This is as small as it gets.
I want to know what the vagrant scene is like over here.
I want to know what the queer scene is like over here.
The vagrants, I mean, it's such a high-trust society that they just leave their personal belongings
out on the street and nobody touches it.
Because why would you want to touch a vagrant's personal belongings?
But in New York, there was kind of scrapping for territory and possessions.
Oh yeah.
I feel like Jordan Pealy in Tokyo, because I'm just like fully carrying all of my garbage with me.
That's the thing I don't like, is that there's not a lot of trash cans and you have to carry your
garbage around with you. Yes, so the thing I don't like is that there are lot of trash cans and you have to carry your garbage round with you. Yes.
So the thing I don't like is that there are no public trash cans.
The music festival that Eli was attached to issued me a post-shoot in which to put my
cigarette butts.
So I've been carrying my cigarette butts around for like a week, which is giving home
less.
Yeah. I'll be throwing the
sigs on the ground. I know it's you're not supposed to
traffic cones and weird crevices in the garbage cans that are
clearly demarcated for only for plastic bottles. And it's
no garbage, no smoking. Yeah, it's like, no, no, no, yeah, the I will, yeah,
concede that I don't love the super-stricted hearings to some rules, though. I feel like a
hypocrite because I am enjoying the the peacefulness and order of fascistic culture. Which comes
at a cost of having no garbage cans available for public consumption.
Or like the way people be waiting to cross the street even though they're no.
That's another very annoying thing.
It's just there's adherence to rules at the expense of just Product to yeah, efficiency and convenience which are both like American values. I
Mean they obviously
Value efficiency and convenience as well
But not the you really can't cross
Even if there's no one on the road you have to wait for the light to change, which is infuriating.
I mean, I be crossing.
I just, yeah.
Like, ooh, sorry.
I'm like, I'm a guy, Jen.
I really have to go.
But either way, it's sex-brown to porn.
It's not customary.
And that's kind of weird and annoying,
but it also makes you realize how delusional and entitled
you are, because you're like,
I have to be somewhere.
Yeah.
I have to go meet a prostitute.
I have to go shopping.
I have to buy ceramics.
You really went ham on the ceramics.
I went ham on the ceramics, but also because I live
like a dog and I don't really have any nice things
and actually all of my nice things were worn out, Japanese things that I bought in Williamsburg 10 years ago. So I figured why not.
And you know, Dasha, as you know, my love language is gift giving. So I did buy stuff for everyone.
I did buy stuff for everyone. That's really nice.
Yeah, it's not that nice.
It's actually probably, if to love we're in the room right now,
he would say that it's very extortionist of me.
Fuck him.
Fuck that.
Poop.
I bought some gifts, but really just kind of for the MVP's.
Yeah.
It's Gemini season.
So Matthew and Alice and both of birthdays coming up, and then of course I got Maddie
something.
And I got like some other, I got like random things that I could kind of maybe give anyone
if I, yes, it occurred to me.
But it's really not my-
Like a tangle. Like a pocket, yeah, it occurred to me. But it's really not my- Like a tenga.
Like, tenga pocket pushes for the whole squad.
And I can't wait to go up in KGB bar
and then hand those out to all my-
Okay, Louis, can you give this pocket pussy to your dad?
I'm back from Tokyo.
No, I really wanted to get clothes, I sort of did but not. It's kind of hard to actually shop for close here because.
Oh, you know what I do like is the face cover is that they give you when you go try stuff on. Oh yeah, that doesn't rub off.
Right. That's I never use those. That's my anti social behavior. That's my J walking. I would never use a face cover. That's my anti-social behavior. That's my J-walking. I would never use a face cover.
That's personally demeaning and insulting to me. I'm going to rub my love prairie foundation
all over your delicate and warry and blouses. I love putting that in that on my YouTube or what it is. Like executioners can be paper.
But that's, yeah.
I do get some weird sick pleasure out of the shoes off in the fitting rooms.
Kind of making you run the gauntlet for no reason.
I'm going to take them off anyway.
Right.
Close on.
Yeah.
So let's just. Yeah, I'm with you. She's off in a lot, a lot of spaces.
Which I mainly just insecure because they all don't want to see my feet. There's only one person who
has more disgusting feet than me. And that's Annie Hamilton. Do you have, you don't have disgusting feet?
I have disgusting feet.
Yeah, I haven't had him had a cure in like a month.
That's okay.
It's, there's conditionally, like circumstantially disgusting.
Like if I, I'll get them fixed up when I go to work.
Yeah, I got a pet.
I'm like a horse.
I need to get the, what are those things, the horseshoes?
Yeah. I need to have like a horse, I need to get one of those things that the horseshoes, yeah. I need to have like a farmer.
Yeah.
Like cut the carrot and off.
And they don't, I didn't see a lot of nail salons.
Wait, what are you talking about?
There's so many nail salons.
Why?
Yeah, everywhere.
Damn.
I guess I have, I got my petty rights, so I,
they're not on my radar.
And they all have them. Japanese people?
They must have a slave class.
Well, there's a lot of African guys in Rappongi.
Oh, you went in Rappongi?
Rappongi.
Rappongi.
Rappongi does sound like kind of an African name.
Rappongi.
I was trying to look up the Edo period, but there's also an Edo Empire in like Benin or something.
So they were just like showing pictures of like African people and I was like they really
was Kang's, they used to run Japan.
Did you make it to the Yasukuni show? No, I wanted to. That's like the one I the big the big one I
kind of hit. What's the cloudy koi pond? Yeah, beautiful. And the Imperial gardens where the
Magi shrine was nice. There are some nice sites. I have to say that I'm really not into the pure one imports us
pagoda shrine architecture. It's not for me. I don't like the yeah. I like the iconography of
pathosystem in Islam more. I'm obviously with you. Yeah. And I find booties to be low-key trash.
And I find booties to be low-key trash. They're unpleasant.
I like what?
The skinny ones, fat ones.
I don't like, I don't like.
Yeah.
They look like Vic Mackey from the shield.
They're not really into it.
They don't do it for me at all.
They look like family guy.
Family guy.
This is family guy, I'm statue.
I can see without them for sure.
But I like, I think, I also don't know a ton about Japanese history.
No, we know nothing.
And I'm not going to bother to educate myself.
So I have very little like reverence for the Yasukuni shrine is nice because it's for like the war dead.
They have a statue of a kamikaze plight. Very based. So it has like there is something energetically there, I think.
Yeah, there is.
I mean, Eli made me trek to the Ruyongi rock garden in Kyoto, which is what it sounds
like.
It's a garden filled with rocks, and they rake in a kind of crop circle type pattern,
which is supposedly remarkable because it's like, you know, you can imagine if you step
on the rock, you ruin the raking pattern.
So it takes a bit of ingenuity to maneuver around those curves and bends.
It's very wobby, sobby.
And I was like very not impressed.
I was like, I want some mochi.
Like a shopping. And I was like very not impressed. I was like, I want some mochi.
Like a shopping.
I have, I'm gonna get the mochi out actually.
But later that night when I went to bed,
I was besieged with like very dark,
only Balba-ass visions of the rock art.
And I had this like nightmare
where I was like a child with pig tails,
standing in the rock art in.
Whoa.
And being like besieged by sprites and ghosts.
It was a weird-ass dream.
That's very interesting.
It was scary and weird.
So clearly this thing made an impression on me.
I think it did.
It is a very like haunted landscape.
Yeah.
And I love the concept of Wabi Sabi, which is so fugly that it's beautiful.
Like Serge Gainsberg is Wabi Sabi.
He's totally Wabi Sabi, yeah.
But the temples aren't even Wabi Sabi.
No, but I do also like that very orderly medium wood aesthetic.
I love the shades.
I love this.
I love a sliding door.
Yeah, the medium wood very well said.
Mugi, I was like chimping because Mugi has these really cute wood drawers that fit perfectly
into my Mugi bookshelf, but they don't sell them in the United States and they don't ship
internationally in Japan.
Damn.
And I wanted to buy like Lenny a little haunted colonial chair, but you know, it would be
like prohibitively expensive to send it to the US.
I was very impressed by what a light packer you are.
I know, I'm mentally.
The vintage of him pretend he brought a carry on.
I mean, in case.
How'd you get all that stuff in there?
I don't know. I'm.
I packed it off.
I'm a origami artist.
I'm very good at folding.
Right. Gift wrapping.
Mm-hmm.
Do you do the thing where you roll your jeans up
and say no, definitely not.
But I know how to pack like,
I don't know where I learn the skill.
I think I'm overcompensating.
Because my mom never taught me any of the feminine arts.
I brought so much.
Yeah, you just like, through stuff in a suitcase
or what's your strategy?
I know I like do think a lot, almost neurotically about different situations I might be in or outfits I might want to wear.
I basically wore most of the things that I brought, I think, not so true.
No, I brought like five pairs of shorts.
I'm like, maybe I'll go to the gym.
I act like I go to the gym every day.
And I bring like 30 pairs of underwear
in case something horrible happens.
And yeah, jackets, just, I don't know.
I never know what kind of look I'm gonna
want to do. Yeah, well, you're an actress. That's true. You're a Gaysha. Oh my Gaysha. Yeah.
Really, I should have just brought this kimono. I know. This was a little bit tall. I actually don't even, it's not even very that comfortable. Really?
I'm wearing a scratchy.
It just doesn't. Dosh is wearing a traditional patterned kimono with like an
a quote Obey bell. I don't know why I know what that's called. I don't know. I'm into
like aesthetics.
The belt's a little thick.
You know, but this is like kind of a mock
kimono belt because it's like elegant and thin looks like a hair ribbon. But the other
thing that I noticed is in Kyoto, they wear a lot of kimonos
because they're making pilgrimage to the shrines.
And I love the kind of narrow column skirt,
big kimonos sleeve thing that the women do.
And they take really tiny steps because the skirt is so.
This I'm a little columnar.
Yeah, it's restrictive.
And they also wear the kind of Marjella tabby,
like flip flops, the socks,
which is also very restrictive.
But the belt, I don't love, it makes you look a lunchbox.
It's too thick.
It doesn't accentuate the waist.
You look a little backpack in the back.
Yeah.
It doesn't get it.
I don't get it.
They could be looking so much more snatch.
And also Asian women to their credit,
our girls with some nice bodies.
Yeah, like, this is a thing that I personally struggle
with because I find Asian women very beautiful,
but I don't find them sexually attractive at all.
I don't think I've ever been sexually attracted
to an Asian woman.
Well, you're not, I'm not a lesbian,
but I'm not gay, but I'm capable of finding
sexual attraction in women. Yeah.
Hagee, Hagee sexy.
I'll give her that.
Hagee sexy.
Hagee sexy.
She's like one of the few, like maybe Jenny Shemizu, like the Asian women that are sexually
attractive have this kind of a most masculine lesbian vibe to them.
I love the, I love Japanese girls.
I love their message. But I love the
messed up teeth. It's also very wabi-salbi-sourge gains work. But Asian women, Japanese included
a lot of them do be having like low-key, very snatched hourglass figures with like tiny
wastes and kind of tickled bitties and big asses, which you wouldn't think, because you'd
think that Asians would be the kind of up and down waves.
Well, we went to that porno store.
Yeah, they knew we'd surveyed those.
I mean, I just assumed that that's all photoshopped.
No.
You think those girls really have just like milky,
huge milky tips.
Those are big, socks.
Those are video tapes, babe.
Those are DVDs.
I bought a bunch of CDs at Tower Records,
which I don't know what I'm gonna do with.
Oh, damn it.
I found like 300,000 yen on classical CDs.
Very nice, very nice investment.
Classy, but I don't.
I'm gonna get a CD player, that's not.
I'm gonna get a CD player, yeah.
Yeah, I do like how they still have reverence
for the CD here. And well, another thing
that I really love about the Japanese, probably more than anything, is that in most establishments
like stores and restaurants, they play music at a very reasonable volume. And the music
is usually jazz or classical. They don't really play the top 40 unless you're going
to an arcade or a mochi ice cream show
or business insublically across.
Yeah, and American restaurants, they play dumb stuff.
Yeah, it's sickening.
It's awful, it's so true.
Zero HP Lovecraft had a very good tweet.
I hate to quote that guy because I have my problems with his account.
He's a vile person.
Yeah. But he had a very good tweet where he said like, why do they blast top 40 at the gym when
most people wear headphones to avoid listening
to top 40 because they're listening to their own music?
It's just like the worst garbage ever that makes you feel, don't are, and shittier.
They don't play top 40 at Equinox.
I wonder they put Equinox.
They have kind of varied playlists.
I've heard the strokes before.
Interesting.
But they'll play like, I don't know,
kind of like not techno music,
but like, I mean, they will play rap and hip hop and stuff too,
but nothing like that's like currently on the top 40.
But either way, like I wanna hear classical or jazz.
At the gym? When I'm at a business, yeah, sure. But either way, I want to hear classical or jazz.
When I'm at a business, yeah, sure.
Because I'm going to listen to my own shit anyway.
I listened, well, yeah, because I work out with my trainers.
Yeah, so I guess you have to keep your headphones off.
That's what it's for.
It's for people with personal trainers.
I don't mind them using that.
He's too poor into which of a loser to even realize.
Oh, you don't have a person.
Does anyone have a personal choice?
You're talking about you need to lose weight
and yet you don't have.
Please do face this too, because all those guys are black.
If you really want.
Very few black people in Japan.
Yes.
It was so true.
No, I saw not one, but two half black, half Japanese,
blaze in children with their classes.
And I really was wondering what that must be like.
Yeah that's interesting. We should get one of them.
It's like I'm 12.
So what's it like being blaze? What's your IQ? He's like, hi. Hi.
I've also learned to know Japanese.
So many.
So many.
I got those I'm lost.
I got those I'm lost.
What's the thing they say when you enter the shop?
It's not Konichiwa.
They say something else.
Is she my son?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I haven't bothered. Really,'t know. Fucking haven't bothered.
Really, you know, you'd think if as being as much of a weeb as I am, I'd be like, you could. Yeah.
I'd go up a little on Japanese like history and language, but I'm just too busy going to
pornhost stories and anime hobbyist shops.
Also huge I mentioned, but yeah, I had a nice day in Akihabara.
Akihabara, yeah.
We went to the Hentai village of Tasha.
Yes.
And I, yeah, I walked around like a mega mall that sold like anime figurines.
Did you ever make it to the owl cafe?
No, because my friend Haruka, who owns big love records in Harajuku, told me that they
are like shackled.
Oh, they like put little chains on them.
And she said,
that's what you told yourself.
You're like, they're shackled.
No, I'm so on the way where I can't make it.
No, I really, I believe you.
I believe you, I believe you.
Because I went to the Shiba Inu Cafe,
which I thought would be,
yeah, afterwards staring at anime figurines
and like body pillows.
And not buying any because I'm trying to have a family, not an anime body pillow.
Okay, you're not trying to buy a George Floyd body pillow.
What?
I'm not, yeah, I have enough anime dolls and I'm mature enough to realize that and also
the trans shooter had a lot of anime dolls in which trans shooter room.
Oh, Aiden slash the one whatever Ashley the one whose manifesto they want. Yes. They did release photos of her room. His room.
Sorry, I'm confused. And he had a lot of anime dolls and I was like, so it's
giving a school shooter. And if I ever did him a mass shooting,
I just wouldn't want people to see how many dolls I have.
So, she thought she worked at Nerf.
She put Nerf stickers on all of her stuff as a adult woman.
stickers and all of her stuff as an adult woman. But yeah, so I was like really overstimulated and fried and then saw a shibu cafe. And so I went in and I
thought it would be it was it was cute and fun, but it was also sad. And when
they told me that I because you you had, they have all these rules, which
they should obviously. But the girl working at the counter, there was like, only touching
no holding, no fucking, no fucking, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Hentai Shibo.
And so that made me feel kind of like,
like when a prostitute makes you wear a condom or something. You know where I was like,
I'm done talking.
I want some like contacts with these animals.
Yeah.
But I am like cocked and knelt to me.
I'm broken because I have,
I can only like try to touch them
as they like run past me. because I have, I can only like try to touch them as they like run back.
But one was, I was there, I paid for 30 minutes and they were really cute.
She was a really aggressive temperamentally.
They're Japanese.
As my mother always says, the sentimental are the most cruel. And that applies very well to the Japanese people.
Well, very well said.
They have their Samurai and Iakusa culture,
though actually the Akusa are all Koreans.
I would date a Samurai.
I want to get a Samurai.
I would play a Samurai around.
It's like some fat loser with a blade.
I'm gonna do everything around here.
You gotta be my own samurai.
Anyway, one of the sheep was was vibing with me
and like sitting on my lap and stuff.
But they did seem a little like sedated
and I realized that they probably are like
medicated. Well, I'm just like aggressive
medicated trapped kind of Asian
Azeotic feature. Oh
Yeah, I tried to tell that Japanese guy it didn't know that I had Azean features that he loves. I think it's good. Yeah.
Which one? The guy,
Yasuke or Masuro.
Not the nighting,
nightingale bar guy with the other one.
Like, I rules.
He's so sick.
He has such a great vibe.
He's awesome.
I love that guy.
I love that guy.
I love that bar. Yeah love that guy. I love that boy.
Yeah, Shiba's freaked me out
because they have very like brown genitalia
for how light they are.
It's very interesting for me.
Yeah.
Ah!
Oh no!
Oh my God. Oh my god, oh my god um
Totally just kidding
Sepuku
I got to convince
I got to convince
Would you cut my hat off if I am
Of course
Of course.
The final episode of Friendship.
Oh, I'm not a guest.
We try to stay Jarkoo.
We should do it badly and it's like a mid-summer moment.
Or just like, gaww.
Curkling on the floor.
Oh my god.
Fuck.
So, Mishima was clearly attracted to the golden temple.
Yes, because it's power.
Did you know that the original structure was burned down by a 22 year old novice monk?
What?
No. Who then staged a failed suicide attempt
and was captured by authorities.
And still trial, but only received seven years
because he was deemed severely mentally ill.
Interesting.
I'm surprised that the Japanese handed down
such a lightweight sentence for such a grave crime
But clearly Mishima for saw his his own fate in the fate of this right clearly repressed Thomas actual
When did he do that?
The kinky-jew.
Jew!
I think that's the type of monkey actually.
I don't know when that happened.
I think the structure was restored in the 50s with like gold leaf.
Right.
But it's still...
It was an impressive sight. It's very impressive because it looks
surprisingly
sober and restrained for how flamboyant it is because it's like a fully gold
right structure. Yeah.
Uh, and I really personally just don't like
the the confluence of like red and black.
Really? Japanese level lot.
It's not even my own personal opinion.
It's like a hand me down opinion for my mother
because she was like red and blick,
color of prostitution.
My mom always had a polemic against traditionally Asian color
palettes like she hates red, black and gold
and she also hates the baby pink baby green.
She calls them like cup oostocolors.
Totally.
Yeah, that was sort of the palette of the Shibu Cafe.
Yeah.
And a lot of Japanese women, like Normi women,
not like hipster women dress in this style
that I find very nauseating.
With like the pussy bow blouse and the midi skirt
and some like flats with like pilgrim buckles and it actually doesn't look
Demure flirtatious. It just looks omish. It looks frumpy. It looks frumpy and dumpy and you know adds 10 pounds
They're not dressing for their kidkibby
Yeah, yeah, it's not my fave and it looks. Yeah, it's not my fave.
And it looks cheap.
Yeah, it's in C.
I far more prefer the style that like avant-garde Japanese people have, or it's like
a comedy song.
Comedy Garçon, or like baggy layers of like flax and linen, which is like not my thing,
but it looks good.
Yeah, I wish it was my thing.
Yeah, it just doesn't look good on us.
For whatever reason.
Yeah, I think maybe we're not at that tar face in our lives.
Yeah.
No, but any day now, um, congrats by the way on the well back shout out.
Oh, yeah.
Dude, I almost fucking died.
That's in his book. It's in his new book, I mean, which is like,
No, it's said we were sexy.
He said we were quote, young and sexy and conservative.
Yeah, yeah.
Neither was S.R.
I got into this fight with Eli because I was like,
I'm not a Catholic and he was like,
Babe, just be happy. I was like, but I'm not a fight with Eli because I was like, I'm not a Catholic and he was like, babe, just be happy.
I was like, but I'm not a Catholic.
You're really a Catholic.
I'm like gonna do.
But hey, I'll take it.
Can you imagine?
No, literally shocking.
Crazy.
I know.
Young and sexy.
That's nice.
Young, sexy, funny, conservative.
Catholic.
I'll take Catholic, whatever.
It's because of your line of questioning, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it's because you said it as a Catholic.
Yeah.
I even said Christian on it.
Yeah, something like that.
I don't know where they got it from.
I mean, well, but clearly didn't do
his own research for that bit. No. He clearly had some assistant
fire up the Wikipedia entries. Everything's lost in translation, you know. I know. It's so true.
It really does get lost in translation. But that taught me a powerful lesson, which is like, you
know, you should not complain because God frowns upon you when you complain and
You should be happy and grateful for what you have
Yeah, so truly. Yeah, so just being a
Did you foresee when we fired up this pod in 2018 that we would be mentioned in a well-backed book?
I'll be you know a lower wrong one that he wrote out of desperation in his old age to
Stunt on a guy who stunted on him first
None of my business. What's the deal that it's like it's like diaries? It's not like a novel. I think it's I think it's his attempt to
wrench the narrative, the narrative, the narrative out of the Stefan's hands, the Kira guy,
brokai, because they're mired in some lawsuit,
litigation, yeah, and of course I take the side of well back even if he's wrong.
What's the issue that he let them film him fucking the whores and then change his mind?
I don't even know.
I think that he had probably had a change of heart and he is like suing for like liable
and defamation.
But you know what, dad is always right. dad is always right.
Daddy's always right.
And I guess the curac model is
poning and humiliating people
in their documentaries.
I mean, they've been sued so many countless times.
I have that. I had no idea.
I think so. I mean, I think like stuff on semquits,
sued them. I think Jordan Wolfe's ensued them. You know, Michelle well-beck is suing them
I mean you have to think that there's a common denominator here. Yeah
But I don't know the intricacies or many of the case
Sexy young
Funny too.
I've been, yeah, lately really identifying as a cafeteria Catholic. What is that? Disparaging term, but applicable. It means like you pick and choose. It's got to what? The parts of the boxes of you want to adhere to.
Yeah, but that's all of us.
Really?
So true.
We're all Catholic in a way actually,
and that we have very broad tastes.
Not the Japanese.
You know, they're really...
They're...
I did find some like weird...
Christian like stationary stories, and they do like the Christian aesthetics.
And at that mall we went to in Harajuku.
They had a little kiosk where I bought a bunch of Christian event.
And they had a little Christian kiosk at the antique market that we stumbled upon.
It's a really nice city to just walk around and stumble upon things because it's so safe and Run a pond. Yeah.
Oh man. Fuck what was I going to say?
But I just want to reiterate that I will always kiss the ring of Michelle Welbeck,
whether he's right or wrong.
Yes, well said.
I'm just happy to be here.
I could die. You would be
a cheat. I could die right now. That's a matter of fact I might. That's how I
here we go. That's how I felt when I got here I was like I could die here. I could
literally just be better than this. Do you think, because I was entertaining a fantasy, where some non-fatal tragedy strikes,
and I have to spend a prolonged amount of time
in a hospital in Tokyo?
Do you think that would be nice or bad?
I think like nice and theory, but a bad in practice.
Something in me really wants the...
Yeah, to be nursed.
Yeah, you want to post through it.
Yeah.
Oh, like Hawaii selfie in Japanese hospital.
And I bet they would take good care of you.
They would take good pictures of you.
They would.
I think the standard of care would be nice.
Yeah, everything here is like really comfortable luxury outweets.
Like you will go through the gate.
And there's always like a little anime.
It's so cute.
Yeah.
They're all throwing the peace sign while they heard you onto the cattle car.
And Frank will just read post-op, read the hand time.
They couldn't like kick me out, you know.
But I think in reality a swester and individualist type should really go nuts.
You're probably right.
Like if you were confined to bed
for weeks.
Yeah, man.
Anyway, I mean, sure, but in Japan
with people that you couldn't fully
communicate with.
I know, but somehow I don't know.
But maybe the lack of communication
is a positive.
I like it.
I feel very um, I
don't know. I don't I really don't feel
Lonely like in Bangkok. I felt kind of lonely
Yeah, even though I had
English speakers around
Much more than I do here, but I think I don't know
I mean, I always feel lonely. Well, that's you don't know. I mean, I always feel lonely.
Well, that's, you know, my base.
I mean, I don't feel more lonely.
I'm just like the estate of being.
Yeah.
Ronry.
I feel a romery.
It's, there's just, I would just, I don't know.
I will find I won't go to the hospital for my failed
Sepulch. I don't know. I will find. I won't go to the hospital for my failed sapuku.
Hahaha.
Wow, that's beautiful.
What?
A beat of red wine just trickled down my phone screen.
Wow.
And it looked like blood.
And the tab that was open was a Ryuji Sakamoto.
See, it's so aesthetic.
It's so, yeah. It makes you feel very profound and creative.
We're such fucking retards.
We're such key hobbies.
There's a Mishima says you have to make your life into a beautiful poem, signed with
blood or something.
Yeah.
So true.
That's the truth.
In fact, in you, yeah, you turn your life into a line of poetry written with a splash
of blood.
That's what my phone looks like right now.
You're just like mechemot.
Hannah.
Middle age and gay. And on the verge of suicide.
Oh my god. Female Norwood.
Um.
Was Mishima bald?
Yeah.
I think you had a thing here.
I don't know.
I don't remember.
He was very cute.
We can't.
We can't say anything bad.
Subject him to any more critique.
Um, these are my notes.
Yeah.
Subculture is compartmentalized and doesn't quote, spill over into everyday life.
Even members of subcultures are polite and socially
conformist and quote, follow the rules.
Japanese are privately individualistic,
but publicly conformist.
No tattoos at the hotel pool.
Almost everyone is thin.
No skateboarding anywhere.
No skateboarding anywhere.
No offenseing anywhere. No skateboarding anywhere. No fence. Yeah. To our
skater demographic, but very peaceful. That's true about the, like when you go to the
malls even, it feels like forever 21 actually kind of does this thing too where it's like the little sections of the store that it's
because they're Koreans makes sense yeah but yeah it's like there's like a distinct category of
kind of person you can be that still is and it's funny to see like all on guard you're still like
all on guard in the same way yeah then there's so many people here who are like avant-garde in a specific way.
Yeah.
Like, there's the cottage core of people, and the rico and people, and the CDG people.
Not all of them.
And the hysterical hammer people?
Like Kanye, style, fashion victim types though.
No, that's not a prevalent thing here.
Yeah, and the other thing I like is that they're really into like baggy clothes.
Yeah, I like that.
They're not into form fitting clothes.
I wish I had the courage and confidence to not be into form fitting clothes.
I'm kind of a baggy t-shirt.
You are, yeah, that's true.
That's a good point.
And I like a midi skirt as well.
I was proud of my church fit
because it was SSPX, I wore like a little curtcha,
but then when I got there, everyone was like valing
and they had like a little basket of like extra vales
I literally put another
like it was one of those like fitting room makeup guards.
Yeah, but what are those are my face?
I like that they do umbrellas for sun protection as well as rain.
So cool.
Because they're yeah they probably that's so yeah interesting.
Like goth kind of.
Paris I'm I as I said on Twitter I might get into it. I might just goth kind of. Mm-hmm. Paris, I'm, as I said on Twitter, I might get into it.
I might just carry a pair of solar panels.
It may be very boring. That takes a lot of confidence.
Yeah, you can be like,
You can be like, crazy.
You look mentally ill, but I do see Asians in New York with the parisoles in the sun.
Respect.
It does look crazy because you're like,
boob is not raining.
Mm-hmm.
But they must be selling too because they have great skin.
They do and then sometimes you see one with really bad skin and you're like, damn.
What happened to you?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, they do have like perfect porcelain skin.
I was served an ad in the cab today for like one of those new face type devices that you like massage over your face called the rave
Yeah, I saw which is like a
Lost in translation like yeah, did somebody like dictionary.com what the rave
Fuck I didn't go to the poster store. I didn't go to the poster store.
I didn't go to the poster store.
Last time I was here with the calm down guys, we went to a store that sold Japanese movie
posters.
That was very cool.
Oh shit, that's sick.
You know what would be cool to get is some antique or otica?
Because that's the best aesthetic
Like the Japanese like
Commissue Tresk, kind of like Roberta drawings. Yeah, it's like pre-apic and also Commissue Tresk and
It all reminds me of like shellfish
Yeah, it's really yeah, well, and there's like a lot of hairy posse's
That look like oysters with like seaweed attach to them
Barnacles some tentacle porn. Yeah
We heard how they blur out the
The dicks. Oh, yeah, the genitalia blurring is super weird because they have such a proclivity for weird deviant
Sexual fetish.
Like that's where you draw the line, that's a fridge too far.
This is like a vomit.
But the anuses are not blurred out.
I think you're onto something, which is weird.
The butt stuff.
The butt stuff.
Yeah, they have fully have lactating and vomit porn. And it's
not secluded and some extra curricular kinky category. It's very much in the mix.
But also, I said this to you in Eli that the Lolita culture is just a continuation of Gaysha culture
because it demands a lot of ritual and control to dress up like that every day.
Yeah.
Well, it's, yeah, and it's a really intense adherence to a style of femininity that's like
cartoonish, and outmoded and like inefficient and whatever.
It's weird that they have these like very like wisibius sexually explicit woodcut prints
of like dicks plunging into pussies. But in this day and age they blur out and pixelate
the gentilian porn. Does that make sense? In the hent, they put very thin black bars over the cartoon.
Yeah, and even if you buy the DVD, it's still blurred out.
Yeah, yeah.
So like you never reach full satisfaction.
But you can access more pornography on your phone.
Customs are so weird.
They are.
So true. Culture go crazy. Yeah. You got anything else in your notes? No, that's about it.
Oh, people, I would really recommend Lion Cafe, honestly. Oh yeah, that's a good place to recommend. We went twice to this cafe in Shibuya that plays classical music. They don't
let you talk. And they have a very nice stereo system. It's called Lion Kisa Cafe. It's
really nice to listen to classical music. I know that's what I'm saying. I like in every time I say this people are like
lining up like Asian women at a sample sale to call me a boomer, but
Listening to classical music literally makes you feel alive and profound. It puts you in touch with your emotions
Listening to top 40 or hip-hop, which by the way, I'm a fan of
Makes you feel dead
And like metallic.
I'm torn because I really be listening to straight up retard music.
Me too.
I'm a garbage person.
I mean, with all due respect, I'm not, I'm not trying to like get on a high
horse.
Right.
Right.
I don't know anything about classical music, by the way.
I mean, I really, I'm
kind of a Philistine, but I like it when I, you know, I know what I like. Like, you're
a biography. Yeah, exactly. I'm not nearly a connoisseur of classical music, but I am
a pornography, but even the lowest-run classical music makes you feel better than the highest-run
pop. It's just nice. No offense, it's true. And it's a nice like if there was a place you
could just go to have like very well curated classical music played. Yeah, that
smelled really bad and the drinks were all no one alcohol like it had like
milk and eggs. I love milk. I know. I love milk egg too.
Oh, I did like puke it up.
Oh yeah, and a barf.
Oh yeah, wait, I,
Oh yeah, you said you didn't want something.
I debated about whether or not I should mention this,
but I fully got food poisoning.
Maybe I'll cut this, but maybe I won't.
Why?
Because you don't want to disparage the conveyor belt sushi.
I still want to disparage myself.
Maybe it's too late.
I know.
Yeah, I got food poisoning
because I scarfed down some lukewarm conveyor belt sushi
the moment that it hit my mouth.
I knew it was wrong, but I did it anyway.
And then I made the head type of a
Lid and I puked in a plastic bag.
And since there's no public garbage, we carried around a plastic bag of milk egg vomit
from the lion kisser.
That like weirdly held up. It was sturdy. The bags.
Yeah.
And it seemed kind of wildly appropriate
to bring milk egg vomit into the hen tie village.
I kept making the joke that we should hold on to it
because we could sell it for a nice price.
We can check it. It's probably still, I left it in a little sanitary pad box because I couldn't find a garbage.
But it's probably still there.
No.
We can go retrieve it tomorrow. I'll check it.
We'll sell it.
I meant sell it to like a Japanese pervert.
No, no, it has to be a red scare scare fan, no Japanese pervert would buy my vomit.
You'd be surprised.
They want like low-lita vomit.
They want the vomit of a 12 to 17-year-olds.
All that vomit's really milky in those videos as well.
Yeah.
Sorry, we'll stop.
That's my only fans franchise.
Okay, guys, you like Blooming Yeah.
What else?
Fuck. We went to Celeb Hot Spot New nude Trump. Oh yeah. The clothing store, which is very chaotic.
And I made some purchases there that I really regret.
I bought that acid house long sleeve t-shirt.
What?
I don't remember this.
It's like, it's cool.
It's like a floor, but it's like really not my stock.
I was really trying because I think last time I came to Japan, I bought like a floor, but it's like really not my style. I was really trying, because I think last time I came to Japan,
I bought like, well, because I was,
Adam's a great shopper and has amazing personal style.
Obviously, he's a stupid little wigger.
He's a stupid little wigger, so we were shopping a lot.
And I was fully buying sneakers and stuff
that like, isn't really my,
I always kind of do that when I'm abroad, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm just like having a boyfriend who's a better shopper than you. Mm.
Mm.
I guess I made a lot of hateful comments to add up
and bucket hats and stuff.
And we did.
I think I dislike, yeah.
You don't like it.
No, I really like when a man dresses normal.
Me too, and I like shopping for a man.
I like shopping for a man, and I like, you know,
a white boy who wears a uniclo T,
and doesn't over think at Dan and Matthew were both this way where they both have like all they wear like all live drab
Yeah, they both look good style. I only date cap or corns as I mentioned and they all have a very kind of
Utilitarian classic normal non-descript male style. That's my preference.
So I think Adam looks great.
But I think Adam is one of the most stylish boobs.
In the game.
He just has good style.
He really has good style.
I don't know how he does it.
And I have to say Adam is the man that I look to when I think of what, when I try to find
stuff to buy for Lenny, because I want him to dress like Adam while he's still young
and he can get away with it.
Yeah, that's sweet.
Because he can wear like bucket hats and new, but I bought Lenny so many stupid Japanese
little outfits.
Oh my God, I can't wait.
Like Haram pants, bucket hats.
I bought him a Fred Perry Polo made in England, not the made in China
kind that they have in the US. So cool to have a baby because you can dress them like a
Japanese baby. And I was talking to like, I really want a Japanese baby. Oh my god, me too
dude, but they're not even having an eye. How do we get a Japanese baby? I'll never get me to red scare baby. That's a Japanese baby. They're so cute. Yeah, I saw these two school boys
After I visited that shrine who like
We're I like screamed and I saw them because they had little hat. They probably went to
They had like very militaristic kind of uniforms
um
And one had like a big cross, like keychain on his
hardshell backpack and I like screamed when I saw this.
So cute.
Oh.
They're killing it.
They're way better than I know.
American babies.
I know we're like fully walking around, like
gawking at other people's children.
And they were unsupervised yeah, yeah, cuz I got nervous cuz I was trying to take a picture of them
There is would yell at me, but I think wearing a trench coat
Quickly to do it and become a pet
I'm just simulated quickly to Japanese culture and become a pet. I'm a pet.
They just get me here.
I don't know what I'm doing.
My favorite thing about Japanese culture,
leering at the children.
The Japanese schoolgirls.
I wonder what transgenderism is like in Japan.
Good quiet.
I think basically not existent.
Mewa, but she was a drag queen out of trans.
Yeah.
I mean, I don't know.
There's a sort of
and drawjiness. You know, it feels like the gender binaries,
like you could kind of transition pretty successfully
and easily, I think, as either.
Well, I feel like there's less dimorphism among Asians
and there's among Westerners.
Yeah, exactly.
Oh, the other thing I really love about Japanese people,
personally, because it's tamayasetic taste,
is that they're the only Asians that have the Roman nose
and it looks really good on an Asian face.
Like it's like, Wabi Salabi on candy.
They look great.
It's like, I don't wanna eat.
I know.
I wanna go to the hospital.
Yeah.
And I, yeah.
No, I think the owl cafe, Haruka really was like, it's depressing.
She was like, it's not just sad, it's like actually really dark.
Well, okay, yeah, that was my question because they had like, we went, we stood in front
of the owl cafe and they had like 50 different owls and I was like, how do you fit 50 owls
in like a tiny little building? Another thing I like about just like
is that everything is like their slaves. Um, it, the scaled. Yeah. For people who are like
small. Yeah. It's so cute. I know I love like going through even like a narrow kind of like stairwell that's like kind of small. It just feels right.
Architecturally it feels like one of the things I hate about America
is that everything's too big.
Everything's blown out, but actually the Japanese have huge wide open
expanses in the right context like for their Imperial
palaces and botanical gardens
Whereas in America everything is like big but also
Ungainly and poorly organized. I mean America's fallen on hard times. Yeah, it's not what it used to be
Also, it's very cute how Japanese worship American culture and they're into like surfing, camping,
Indigo down there, we're gonna be a Donald Trump.
Yeah, Levi's, but like the heyday of American culture.
And they like colabos.
They do.
With like Patagonia in the North face.
They're so sick.
And LL Bean.
I just love them.
It really gives you like a bird's eye view
into what fascism could be like.
I don't see a problem.
If we only embrace that.
The trick is that you're going to be fascist there.
I'm sure you're going to be fascist there.
You should come to Japan with us. He'd be seething.
Yeah, it's fascism.
It just works.
It really runs itself.
Fascism is when I don't see a down, I don't see a downside, right?
The toilet.
The day stimulates your taint.
Well, that's okay.
So there's a button for the front and a button for the rear.
And I have used the Vadea a couple times.
Does it work?
I mean, it's free as well.
I don't know's free as water.
I'm here.
Abs and pussy.
That's what you mean.
He's like, ah.
But I felt great shame when I pressed the front button and it wasn't.
You know, I'm like, am on the toilet from all my eyes.
You're like, my pussy's really blown.
Yeah, my horrible infectious laugh really, I think this does not mesh well with Japanese culture.
I need to become more demure.
I need to become more demure.
I need to go to Gaseous School.
Do they have such a school for Gaijans?
No.
But we basically argue that's what podcasters are.
Trained in the art of conversation
Delighting businessmen
All over the all over the world
Yeah, that's true. I saw many soft skills. I guess we have very many
salarymen listeners. I
Think if this podcast was translated into Japanese. They would eat it up like vomit off the floor
I don't know I don't think I
Don't can't even tell if they listen to podcasts. See it?
They remember we passed a podcasting studio.
There's all those girls in MIDI skirts.
That's true. That's true.
And they have a lot of commuting, so I'm sure they must listen to something.
But...
Chapel, trap a long house.
Well... But chapel trap long house
We are men a car I
Wish yeah, here Xbitter man
I am a social risk I am a saws are rings
I'm at the DSA. I'm at the DSA.
I'm at the DSA.
Gong.
Sorry, that's chiming.
Yeah, not a lot of gongs here.
Well, I was also going to say I know why the shackled owl hoots.
While back and forgot too.
Um, but no, it didn't make...
There's an otter cafe too, apparently.
Really?
It just seems crazy.
That's insane.
Don't they eat water?
Dude, I don't know what.
They just go...
They just come and see dirties.
That's, well, that's the thing.
I will say that they really kind of don't respect animals here.
It seems. Or like... I mean, no offense, but non-white people don't respect animals here, it seems.
Or like,
I mean, no offense, but non-white people don't respect animals.
Respecting animals is a very white,
the premise is construct.
But you would think as having sentientil culture
or whatever they would respect the kind of
animal Monday of all living things or something, but they really just
be having extremely loose restrictions on what you can do to animals, hence all the cafe
is.
But the owl, I really want, I'm torn because I really want to see an owl, just like I really
wanted to touch the sheba.
But when I got there to touch the sheba.
But when I got there, just hit one more hole.
I came here just to fuck it out.
Oh.
Yeah, I'm trying to do sex tourism.
It would be owl-gavv.
To use it one of those puppets.
I wanted to fist it out.
I did glimpse into the owl bar we were not admitted to.
The owl, the kissa?
They were tiny, they were tiny, tiny the owls.
Because they live in captivity.
But, where do they?
They can't spread their wings.
I don't know.
It seems so fucked up.
But so right.
Wild, beautiful wild animals that can't live.
Really mystical, special animals with like a tiny shackle on their, on their foot.
It seems like, it seems like it's against shintoism.
What is shintoism?
What's the difference between shintoism and Buddhism?
It's a kind of Buddhism.
Okay. There's different Japanese religion. Consumersim. I really do love to show up. Hence,
I mean hospitality and consumerism are really... Hospitality. This, the parkiah, it's a very special place for me personally. Because you're dead and I did.
And I was just so fiacopal, if I haven't.
Yeah, yeah.
Complete.
I mean, I'm such a fucking loser.
How did she catch the end of this place?
Because it's, I don't know.
She probably comes here.
I mean, it's just so brilliant.
The pool is amazing.
It's like really giving vapor wave out there.
It's just such a good idea to film a movie here. Yeah. So it's just
it's really clear and still film movie here. Hey, you just, she's supposed to be a go-play.
She's gonna do everything she wants. What was I gonna, oh I was gonna show you a picture My ass. In this sheer, in this sheer panties,
are you ready for this?
Sure.
OK, well first, that's.
Yeah.
Aw, cute.
I did it.
I got the shot.
Shot.
Shot.
Shout out to my friend Robbie who I face times.
So you get him to you.
Wait, what?
Take the photo.
Wait, how?
He took the screenshot.
We can't, you said a timer on your phone.
Yeah.
But he's a big loss in translation fan too.
Oh, so we were really...
We had a common goal.
Y'all, Nagasaki's is mentally... Oh, we were really... We had a common goal. Y'all Nagasaki's is mentally...
We were called...
We were called...
...their dreams.
Seriously?
Yeah, I'm just...
I really...
I love that movie.
It's so annoying.
I love this American movie about Trafalgar.
I'm gonna go to Tokyo and pretend that I'm not.
Why is it annoying?
They're equally annoying.
I know.
Which they're fetishism of our culture.
It's true.
I wish it was like going on tour.
Oh, you live by Dashwood Boko and go to five lever.
Someone's a dime square. live by Dashboard Booker and go to five lever.
Someone said, time square.
Yeah, it was crazy.
It was okay.
He's like, oh, time square, oh.
And I was like, do you know who came up with that term?
By the way, oh my god, I saw a picture of Jamie
at the record store right away.
I'm like, it could stay.
Actually, she should come here.
Yeah, I mean, I'm sure Jamie's modeled here.
Let me find...
When did I...
Oh God, what a whirlwind trip it's been.
I also feel so obnoxious whenever I'm like taking the pictures of...
Oh yeah, here it is.
Aw. Like funny, English stuff. when you were throwing up actually I saw
a sign that said smorkers landage but it's so like a benoctious and American to just be like
they don't speak English so good here we got to come back we got to bring Lenny yeah we have to He he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he I got some good Japanese pet bays. Okay, I have a French well-backed pet bays.
That one was really good, yeah.
I gotta put this in my pet bays folder.
I have...
I have a samurai pet bays, but I don't know where it is.
Very drunk.
But he cute.
He always cute.
Okay, should we go to New York bar?
Yeah.
You can't smoke six in there anymore.
That's okay.
So what's the consensus before we leave on swastika posting?
Because I do want to post a swastika to Twitter.
It's a bit simple.
But it may.
It's the reverse swastika.
And I would think that the Indian moderators who run Twitter
would understand and be sympathetic to my plate, but somehow I highly doubt it.
I think it's...
I think rolled a dice.
I don't know.
I mean, the question is, do I want to get banned?
And the answer is yes, maybe.
So let's go full throttle with the swastika.
I'm just, I'm the kind of girl.
Do you think Elon will protect me?
Who, if I see a swastika, if I see the number 88, if I see?
Even an SS, like, I'm taking a picture of it, you know?
That's because we're infantile.
Yeah. And I don't think there's anything picture of it. You know? That's because we're infantile.
Yeah.
And he's gone to that.
And I don't think there's anything wrong with it.
It's not because we're fascists.
No, it's because we literally have infantile humor.
Like,
No.
It's a swastika.
Yeah, I haven't matured past the point.
Basically 15, I think.
I'm still trying to find the samurai puppet.
It's okay.
I don't have it saved.
I must have deleted it.
Oh no.
It's okay.
It's okay.
Well, if you guys have any good Japanese pepets
Please send them
I'm 37 and a mother
Please remind me I wear a pat pay folder people really be dunking on us when we pose. Oh, yeah
I mean as they should that one's really good. We're literally losers. Me more than you even, because I have a child that I'm a middle aged.
I still have a folder of Pepe's slightly older than me.
At least you have a child.
At least I didn't buy an anime body pillow.
I'll say that.
I mean, have you ever thought about how severely mentally old we are?
We're doing what we do.
Yes.
Eli really likes to remind us.
Yeah, he's a cab racorn.
He's not extraordinary online.
That word despicable.
Must be nice to be big in Japan.
Must be nice to be big in Japan.
But nice to be small in Japan too.
I think that's the real take away.
Anyway.
So that it's all nice in Japan.
See you in Shinto Hell.
See you now. you