Regulation Podcast - A Walking Stupid Contradiction // Our Tubes Will Groan Out the Sun [108]

Episode Date: June 22, 2022

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about Geoff listening to Episode 107, Clip paranoia, F**kstick groan tubes, Meowwolf, spelling bee, and What to call a group of podcasters. Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to [e-mail] Sponsored by Hello Tushy (http://hellotushy.com/face), ExpressVPN (http://expressvpn.com/face), and Fum (https://www.breathefum.com/face). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a Rooster Teeth production. I'm all thrown off. Why is Andrew thrown off? He was trying to do a book club or something, and then suddenly he stopped in the middle of it. Because nobody showed up. Typically, Eric will show up 10 minutes before, and Nick showed up like four minutes before, so I feel like I'm still in pleasantries. I did not expect it to be once. You only have four minutes of pleasantries?

We're only four minutes of pleasantries, and we're mainly just talking about... That's going to throw you in the hole. I'm four minutes off this whole show yeah he's gonna we'll have to we'll have to let it roll for another four minutes at the end just so you can finish up uh no eric today as a matter of fact uh he let us know ahead of time he's uh gotta do dual duty on some other podcast or some shit a bit weird that we still do it at the same time as the other podcast yeah well i believe that was at your insistence right you said you never wanted to do that other podcast again and you had so you would

only do this one if we scheduled it during the exact same time that's exactly what i said that is true i remember that hello hello hello hello and welcome to another episode of the face podcast i believe i believe i don't't have Eric here this week. Oh, nope, never mind. Nick got it to me. This is episode 108. This is season four. Andrew, what year is this?

2022. Three. Thank you, Gavin. You nailed it. Volume one, the 108th episode. My name is Jeff Ramsey. With me, as always uh andrew pantin and gavin free and uh i hope you guys are doing well today uh boy do i i we got a few things to talk

about uh i haven't spoken to you guys in a week i'd love to catch up and uh let me tell you i uh right out of the way i just want to get this over with right away. You know, I don't listen to our podcast. I try not. I try not to hear me ever if I can avoid it. I get on my nerves so fucking quick. It's unbelievable. That's such a wild thing to say is somebody who is on three podcasts currently. Yeah. Somebody who hates podcasts you're on.

You cannot stop making them so here's the thing i gotta make a living right daddy daddy's gotta that's fair keep the lights on but uh uh also um i think we've established at this point that the three podcasts i'm on are my only forms of social interaction so it's just how i maintain my relationships with people that are important to me and uh imagine if you just like recorded every conversation you had with your mom. And then like a week later, you listen to the conversation you guys had after dinner on a Wednesday night. You'd be like, I sound like a fucking idiot.

Coming next month on RoosterTeeth.com. Jeff and his mom. My mom and I are not. I love my mom dearly. We are not doing a podcast together. That is a what we call a non-starter anyway so i uh i was i listened to the podcast the other day and it was episode 106 and uh i don't know why i was just in a really good mood and i thought let's ruin that uh let's listen to yourself and i found it to be so charming and i enjoyed it so much there

was a a little conversation we had about getting homes, buying homes and then getting a home inspected. And then Andrew had this idea for a vibe inspector to come and check out your home and make sure the vibe fit, which I thought was so fucking funny. I laughed about it all day long. It just kept popping up in my head and I just kept laughing about it. I asked if we could get like a vibe inspector shirt made,

which I really sounds kind of creepy, actually, now that I think about it, it's very close to those like female body inspectors. Right. Right. You don't want that. Right. But, you know, I was thinking in the terms of like checking out a house as it was framed in our episode. Anyway, so I go through the episode and I'm actually I'm actually thinking to myself, I should listen to this more often. This isn't that bad.

And then I stepped in and I brought up, then I brought up the idea I had for us. And in one second illustrated why I am the dumbest, stupidest, most idiotic, most useless person on earth in the year of 2022. I present the idea to you guys that everybody should pick the thing that they think they're the best in the world at, right? Yeah, I have a nice clip for this moment. Yeah, you don't need it. You don't need it because I'm covering it, but it'll help. I then proceed to give you guys the two things that I think I'm the best in the world at as examples and also tell you there's no way I'm the best in the world at this.

This is utter bullshit. And then a week later, and I was coming off the episode, so I remembered it was fresh in my head. 107. We then have to present our homework. Clearly, I forgot. Clearly, even after Andrew reminded me, I didn't do it. I forgot. clearly even after Andrew reminded me I didn't do it I forgot so I just

did said the first two things that popped in my head which were my examples that were lies that I admitted were lies to the audience the week before completely earnestly like suddenly suddenly I had best in the world confidence where it didn't exist the week before is the only answer I can give you

but holy shit that's it I can't ever listen to the podcast again or I'll never be able to open my mouth i'll never be able to open my mouth i'll never be able to open my mouth because i am a walking stupid contradiction we did some of the best and on my part unintentional gaslighting i've ever seen it was so immensely impressive basically what what we came up with was that jeff assigned a piece of homework and i added on to it and then the next time we talk about it I'm reading the homework that I helped

Jeff assign as if I'm reading it for the first time it was and Andrew is the only sane one in the whole thing I've prepared a clip would you like to hear it please I was yes I was infuriated last week because you guys were throwing me under the bus for the thing I had no pardon I was

just trying to help you two. This is a little clip from 107, followed by a little dreamy sound effect, and then immediately following the week before. Here we go. We had homework in the last show. Yeah, what's your homework? What was your homework, Andrew?

Do it. My homework, well, the homework you assigned for all of us was that we had to come up with what we were the best in the world at and what we thought the other members of this podcast might be the best in the world at. I don't really understand the homework. Podcast homework reminder that we said we would think about what we are best in the world at

and what we think others would be best at. But you meant other people on this podcast. I did. I don't even remember assigning the homework, so I don't really give a shit. I hate you both so much. This is Andrew homework. No, this is Jeff homework.

It feels like Andrew homework. The end of the last episode we recorded, you're like, homework for all of us. This is what we'll do and we'll talk about it on the next thing. And then Gavin said, the way you just said that,

it sounds like something you would say. You're the worst. You're both the worst. I feel like we should all think about what we're the best in the world at. Maybe that's an angle we should take with the podcast. So should we come up with our own things that we think we're best at, or should we come up with us plus the other two? I think both.

I literally can't explain the weird void that happens where as soon as I press stop on this podcast, I can't remember anything we talked about. I'm pretty well versed in f*** face. Like I've listened to everyone. I've proved everyone.

I know everything that's happened while I'm recording something and everything except the previous week. There's just this weird void where I have no idea what was said because I haven't proved it yet. It's so bizarre. I was reading it as though I'd never heard that in my life, and I said it. Said the same thing with the pencil. That's me with the pencil.

I genuinely forgot I ever said that. It started with the pencil. Why do we, why do our, do you think it's protection? Do you think our brains are trying to protect us by immediately, like like flushing the brain toilet the second we hit stop on the episode if i haven't proofed the previous one at the time of a recording it doesn't exist to me and i can't explain why totally agree can i talk about why i'm an idiot in relation to this so i have a whole other layer of why i'm the dumbest person in the world. Gavin in the face slack yesterday said, hey, one is

the preview out for the episode that will come out this upcoming week, which they've heard by now, but you wanted the preview because you said you needed to grab something from it. Historically, it's always been weaponized against me. There's only one other time I could think of

when it wasn't aimed at me and it was jeff's fucking up an ad by spelling the wrong word and i'm doing the ads why are you gonna bring that up it can't be you spelling so i was like it's just me i guess i was like i was convinced i texted gavin last night so what are you gonna use against me and his silence was deafening i was convinced that he had something lined up for me he replied this morning i'm like oh i could play that game too i ain't gonna reply and i'm gonna just say some bullshit in our slack saying could you please pull audio from jeff in this random episode and gavin in this one i had no audio pulled i said fake yeah that was fake because

i was paranoid that you guys had something so I was trying to flip it I was trying to make you paranoid about what I might had but it's the first time your fucking audio is on my side Yeah guys I would happily use audio against you, but I was listening to that last week And I just thought I have to bury myself. I have to use this audio against me and Jeff because it is horrendous I appreciate it because it was i felt like a crazy person last week when you guys were like ah this is some bullshit homework by you throwing it all on me i didn't i didn't care if we did it it was just trying to be supportive you said now that the funny thing there is i was totally just fucking

with you like oh yeah i remember designing the homework and all that at that point. I just assumed Gavin was along for the gag. I just thought we were both in on the joke. I'm just extremely unintelligent. So Gavin, you're an idiot that way. I have zero integrity and I'm just a bald-faced liar. And then Andrew, you're back to parody.

You're in a new paranoid era, which is scary. Because I do not... I'll be honest, guys. I do not want to go back into a new age of paranoia. It was too much. Oh, but that sounds like

such a great subtitle for a season. The new age of paranoia. Season five. F*** face. I was really excited. Andrew in the Slack wrote, this is super short notice, so if it's possible, no- if it's not

possible, no worries, but could someone pull something Gavin said in episode 98? I also need something Geoff said in 101. I like that you're just so vague, like there's no time codes and I'm just like, and now I'm slightly disappointed that you got no audio weapon. My hope was that maybe one of you would listen to it and try to find the thing like that was my long shot would be funny but i was just trying to create paranoia because i was convinced what you had would be used against me in some capacity what a waste i didn't need to do that i'm sorry nick god i immediately reached out to nick it

was like no i don't need anything i'm just being dumb mind games i love that we have one bit that was honestly not even a good bit a fucking like five minute bit that turned into three separate instances of us being idiots well you i mean you never know where the good bits will be because i'm gonna be honest with you when you said when you said let's all make salads internally i was like i don't know why we're doing this but i'll do it because you want to i support this and we would salad cream i fucked that up in a whole or was that unrelated to the salad was that aside how much salad content have we made was that adjacent was that salad cream content that became salad content or was that part

of the make your salad content? You're going way too far back in the vault for me. That's fair. Gavin, you pretend to remember stuff. What do you think? Nick says it was separate. What was that? Gavin, are you okay? Yeah, it's like a seven second

there was silence like you're waiting for Nick's approval. That's very weird. Please keep that in Nick. That was a very strange. I just assumed Gavin dropped. I thought you had a connection issue. It was pretty long, wasn't it?

Even Nick. It was so long. Nick was scared. God, speaking of scared, Gavin, should you and I talk about how the universe is scared that you and I will ever spend any time together? They're back at it. It's not the weather this time, though. Oh, damn it. I don't know if we talked about it on the podcast yet uh or in personal conversations andrew but gavin and i uh and our our significant others his girlfriend meg

and my girlfriend emily we had all decided we we've been talking for months and months and months about going to las vegas together and having like a weekend in vegas together and we finally fucking scheduled it and so we were gonna, and it was for this weekend, right? So it was the way I had it scheduled or I had it set up is because it's the NBA finals. Emily and I were going to get up first thing Friday morning and we were going to fly to Boston. And then Friday night, we were going to watch game four of the finals as my birthday present from Emily.

She was going to get us awesome seats and I would get to watch the Celtics play in the finals, which is like a dream come true for me. And I've only got to do it once before in my life. And that was with Jack. So talk about an upgrade to see with Emily. And and then we were going to go to bed and then get up first thing Saturday morning and fly to Las Vegas and meet Gavin in Meg in Las Vegas. I was so excited for this. We're going to spend two days together. We got hotels, rooms in the same place. We were going to do like I thought they came up with this clever idea.

We're going to do one thing they really want to do. One thing we want to do. So Emily got tickets to see Shin Lim and go to a magic show so I can heckle. And then which is what I want to do. And she likes magic. And then Gavin and Meg wanted to go do some escape rooms. So we were going were gonna go do that and it was just like it was shaping up to be the perfect weekend last night last night emily tested positive for covid no i couldn't believe no because the universe was like whoa whoa whoa wait a minute who's gonna have fun with who

no no fuck you. Fuck you, is what the universe said. I was literally like, wow, I'm actually looking forward to a trip for the first time that, you know, there is no work trip or me going to see my family. It's like, this is a real vacation trip. I can't believe, oh, nevermind. Yeah, it's a, and I know,

and Emily is heartbroken, obviously, and I feel terrible for her, and she feels so guilty for getting covered, which is, you know, totally not our fault because everybody seems to get it at some point or other. But it's it's kind of luckily I was I was telling Emily I've the universe has been aware of me for long enough that stuff getting canceled no longer affects me. It's like, OK, whatever. I get it. You know, just me stepping in shit in the backyard again. No problem. It's just a new version of that right i'm supposed to be in the shit uh of course right and uh so it's no big deal to me i'm just like i will get him next time champ

but uh but she was pretty heartbroken about it and uh i hope that we can do it again in the future but maybe we can't like what planet or universe or something? Like we can't let on to the universe that we're trying to spend time together? Not to go too far back, but how you framed that just gave me a thought that I've never had before. You said you wanted to see a magic show, and what was the other thing?

Escape rooms. No, that was Gavin's thing. I thought you said tooth. Oh, I was gonna heckle the magician. Oh, I see. to. I want to heckle the magician. Oh, I see. So your thing was magicians. Yeah. The thing that Gavin and Meg were excited about were traveling to a place to get locked into a room that you have to try to leave from.

With your wits. Like the premise of an escape. Like I know it's they're fun. They're great. But like the idea of like having the first escape room and trying to convince somebody that's fun feels like a real exercise because the premise is you go to a place i'm gonna lock you in this room and you're not gonna be able to immediately leave you're gonna have to try to solve clues to leave this space have fun especially you're gonna pay me for this considering

at least in my mind the genesis of this whole escape room craze was from that movie the cube where people just woke up and then they had to get out and every time they tried they died like it's such a dark beginning uh i was looking forward to it though i like escape rooms i think they're a blast oh they're great meg was really looking forward to the magician and uh i had to because magic she loves it it makes her cry for some reason she the magician and uh i had to because magic she loves it it makes her cry for some reason she explained it but uh i had to warn her about the fact that the experience of seeing a magician with jeff is going to be a completely different experience with his how

i just get into it man into it man listen and perform I've performed on stage performers feed off of energy you want to give good energy you want them to know you're entertained and amazed by what they're doing I know you share a deep fandom for Norm Macdonald Jeff have you ever seen the compilation of him when he was hosting the YouTube comedy festival with like sarah silverman was there i don't remember whose co-hosts were but they had a magician come on as like one of the acts that guy is a netflix show i don't remember his name now but he did this trick where like he put this giant this giant glass into a box and it exploded was like the trick and it cut one of the house it was a disaster and it explodes and Norm MacDonald's responses to say

this guy's a fucking sorcerer like you got some it's great it sounds like what your experience is it's so fucking funny just hear me say I mean this you got cut that's what happens when you put a fucking sorcerer on set what do we expect i have a wizard here it's great i'll set it to you i'll say i am halfway through with his his uh posthumous uh special that's on netflix right now and i had to turn it off because it was making me cry was it sad yeah it's just like it's just him like the night before i think a. And he was like, I got to get all this out just in case. And then he looks very ill. And he's very sweet and very funny. And he's just going off the top of his head. And there's no audience or no crowd.

So it's a bit awkward at times. But more than anything, you just see in this what appears to someone who didn't know him as a gentle brilliance and in just such a fragile state uh it was just really really kind of heartbreaking and it didn't kill him then did it he died much later than that yeah he died over about a year after that yeah yeah wow i had i because i got to see him at the theater in town and it's like one of the favorite my favorite shows i've ever seen and i would constantly ever since that point i probably saw that in like 2014 i would constantly look at their schedule and be like oh is he gonna come into town like that would be so exciting i love he's one of my favorite comedians and i recently like a week ago went on the website just to see what it is it's always

all cover bands it's terrible the booking is awful it's just cover bands but it's i had this weird realization even though he's been dead for quite a while there was still part of me that was like oh maybe i'll see him oh i like that'll never happen again it was a weird processing of like he's gone because i don't yeah you were lucky enough to see him as such a small window of overlap in your lives exactly and it's just it's a strange thing i don't know if i it's just, it's a strange thing. I don't know if I'll watch that. I have like a weird thing where if there's an artist or like a creative type that I like, I really struggle with finishing their last work.

Oh yeah. Like the idea of knowing that I have that, like whenever I want to is almost more impactful to me than if I saw it. I had the same with Patrice O'Neill where I've like never seen his special but I just thought his earlier work was so funny conversationally at least I completely agree with you there are two series that I that like touched me so intensely in some way that I never finished them on purpose and that I mean they're very they're silly but Schitt's Creek I am halfway through the last season of Schitt's Creek and I just don't want to finish it because I don't want it to be over and season three of Ash versus Evil Creek and I just don't want to finish it because I don't want it to be over. And season three of Ash vs. Evil Dead,

because I have been a fan of Evil Dead since I was a kid and I grew up with it, and it's so charming and so well done that I just don't want to see it be over, you know? And so I just, I don't know that I'll ever watch them because I just like knowing that they're out there if I ever want to, you know? I'd rather have that than know what I'm missing in some ways totally yeah absolutely I I can I can relate to

that even in like silly I think like the funniest one is I have a clip of um oh I forget his last name but uh the Celtics play by play guy Mike what's his last name Jeff Mike Mike Gorman Mike Gorman yeah I've got got like he did like a immemorial thing to Tommy Heinzen that I just have never watched because I just I like having that because they were such a An important iconic duo even though I didn't get to see too much of their coverage like they called games for I'd assume Over 20 years felt like they did it for like 70 years. They felt like they were pillars of eternity for that team felt like they did it for like 70 years it felt like they were pillars of eternity for that team um yeah that's it's it's interesting how how those pieces of media can impact it gavin what are what do you share any experiences like that but where i don't want to watch someone's

end the final piece of their work sure you don't want to be over i've never really looked at it from that point of view i feel like it's quite interesting. Like, I would watch the Norm thing, but... Yeah, it is sad. But I feel like comedy and tragedy, they go so well together, don't they? Totally. For sure. Absolutely.

It was interesting when Norm passed, like, thinking about how much his comedy, I think, has impacted F***face, like, indirectly. I think just through what, at least, I find funny. Yeah. Oh, yeah oh yeah influenced by him i went on absolute youtube binge after he died of just all of his late night appearances and snl stuff and he just never gave a singular shit at any point and it's so you got to respect it i don't think anyone has done it to that extent throughout and then kept an entire career going uh one other person who's also dead now, unfortunately,

and that was Gilbert Gottfried. Yeah, they both. Yeah. Just like, it is, I mean, they really are like the prototype for what F*** Face is, right? It's like just two people that are so entertained by the thing that they're doing

that it doesn't matter if it's detrimental to them or their career in any way. They're going to go up there and do it. Gilbert Gottfried is going to go up there when he's on tour with the Go-Go's and they come to him and the producers come to him and say, listen, this is a family-friendly show. These are a bunch of 12-year-old girls

that want to see the Go-Go's sing Vacation and you can't get up there and say talk about anal and he's like okay got it and goes worse you know because he had he doesn't have a choice like there's like i got and then like it's like like he doesn't want to it's just that is now the funniest choice like you have to do yeah it's like there's a there's like some sort of a like a invisible force pulling you towards a self-destructive joke yeah it's great to even just like with norm especially for me like you constantly hear new stories and it's like the

content even though he's not producing new stuff you learn different aspects i was listening to a thing recently and this person talked about how when norm was starting and like canada as a comedian he would bomb all the time because his style was very specific and it didn't work in a lot of rooms and if he bombed he would stay like if he did well he would kind of just leave immediately but if he bombed he'd stay in the green room the entire night and then he'd go to the exit when everybody finished and he'd make everybody shake his hand on the way out. He just, he didn't give a fuck if he did well, but if he did horribly just for the awkward exchange he would shake everybody's hand. So good.

He's a legend. I had to register a new phone number recently. Yeah? I had to register a new phone number recently. Yeah? And I had a... It was the first time I've ever been able to pick a phone number. You just type in numbers and see if it's available. Holy shit, you got to do that? Yeah, then I was like, oh, I bet there's websites for this.

And I found a website that just sells numbers. I assume they just buy up all these vanity phone numbers and stuff. And I found one with a 778 area code which i think is bc in canada i think it's one of those ones and i found andrew i found your ultimate phone number you did what's the number i'll let me move my fucking 778 pancake and it's two thousand dollars i think it's,000 I think we should get the Eric's credit card No we need

And I think that should be your phone number When will this air? Nick what day will this come out? Can we talk about this thing The thing that we bleep two weeks from now is that That should be fine Yeah it is fine I found out recently that

that is essentially what it's predicted to go at 2000 i'd much rather that 778 pancake as good as 778 pancake is that's fucking great why not why not both so are you in the process of changing your phone number and then not telling us? No, it's like a business line. Oh, okay. Oh, 778 Pancake would be so good. If you're interested in high-speed photography, call the Slow Mo guys at 778 Pancake. I watched, maybe you'll remember the name to this, Jeff, because it was like a big 90s movie, Sandra Bullock. It's where she's like a hacker.

She's a computer hackers the net i watched the net like a week ago and she goes on a website called pizza.net and i've never wanted anything more to exist i was so disappointed to put in pizza.net and have it does not exist we need how much is it i have no idea i don't even think it's for sale it's just like this domain doesn't exist she orders a pizza for pizza.net and it just comes to her house it's great that's the one with like mozart's ghost or whatever right yeah it is it's mozart's ghost yeah she like gets her thing hacked she's a hacker and she she i don't know it's a dumb movie it's 90s internet cringe and the best way so we we agree we're gonna get right like this is already we have to and that's why i'm so mad that eric is here because i independently made an account on that website and i just got an email from them saying like yeah you need to send in a proof of address uh with an id like you need to properly

register and it took like six days for that process to go through we're gonna have to go through you we need to get it's actually uh it's actually um it's like andrew and i have had an idea about a thing we want to do someday and it's pretty important to that idea so i feel like we need this is integral uh to the future of of space we need to get this thing yeah i i mean i would love for us to record it's on like 8 a.m that day pacific 10 for you guys i think it'd be so much fun are we talking a i don't they say it's let me pull up the link i think it just the way it's phrased is like this is the only one will it fit any of us do you think i don't dude i probably i think it could fit you i could see it on you it says this consists of a and an actate and matching with metal exhibits where including

a pair of harness holes on the side. But can you say that word? That second word you said again? Did you say act? Can you say actate? I have no idea what that word is. I have no clue. A C E T A T E.

I just I just i had never heard the word actate before i assumed oh can i can i do can i talk i can i call some gavin knows about this i have a friend speaking of pronouncing words incorrectly my friend jake one of my favorite bits recently is i learned that jake thinks he pronounces the word tom's tombs and so for like weeks now he says tombs. Whenever anyone asks what's Tums, it's so we've been loading him up to say tombs constantly. I'm gonna call him.

He got this to work the other day on Halo and I could not believe it. Gavin lost it. He genuinely thinks the word Tums is tombs. What is Tums? Like a soother of the stomach sort of thing? Yeah. Can you guys hear that? Yeah.

Should we be quiet? I don't know. Why isn't he picking up? This is disappointing. It's acid, according to Nick. Yeah, no shit. I'll try calling him one more time. Everybody fucking knows what tom says

he doesn't seem to get it he thinks gavin has such a funny line where he's like what does he think he's a do you have a toomy ache he just doesn't he doesn't get it hello wait hey hey jake oh god no why are you upset i'm having like my my i'm having like, my, I'm having, like, I have, like, some anxiety, like, heartburn. What is the thing you take for it? I think it starts with the... Oh, anxiety. That's not... No, no, but I got, like, heartburn and, you know, like, I need, like, an anti-acid type

thing. What is the... Tomb? What is it? Sorry? Tombs? Okay, thank you. Thank you so much.

I'll talk to you later. Are you... Okay. Love you, Jake. So he thinks it's Tombs. Tombs! Tombs! Tombs! Yeah, Jake listens to this podcast.

I'll tell him beforehand that he was on the show. So if you hear that wonderful Tombs audio audio that has been i had to have a conversation with the people i regularly play games with of like are we okay to sacrifice tombs because it has brought laughter to our life for weeks feeding him tombs jesus tombs this is like for an entire summer i had Millie convinced they were flop flips, not flip flops. And she's like, you sound so weird when you say it that way.

Where is somebody at school? We went all over Hawaii and back and the whole time. Flop flips. But she's not, you know, 26 or however old Jake is. No, Jake's like 30. Jake's 30 walking around saying doops. To be fair, why would he ever answer the phone between the hours of 3 and 4 Central to Thursday?

Yeah, I talked to him for a minute before I did this that I said I have to go film this podcast. No, no better. I like that you used the same method to get him to say it as you did last time. I did. On Halo, you said the exact same thing. You had heartburn and he still went for it.

He must be thinking, why doesn't he remember? It's so easy. We had a conversation recently that we need to change our approach or else he is going to catch on if we all have heartburn every day. We're constantly asking him what we need to take for it. I love Jake. Tombs. Tombs. Tombs.

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Visit amex.ca slash yamx. Benefits vary by card. Terms apply. I have a thing that we should talk about. I saw some misunderstanding of a thing. It's fair. A fair misunderstanding. We need to talk about the grow tubes. We're all very excited about them.

People are excited about them. You mean this? You mean this? Wait. Did they send you those? I would like one but i need to clear okay i need to i don't know if they would send me one because it's rtx is launching rtx i sent you a i sent you a video the day i got it i know you did but i didn't know if you like grabbed it like i didn't know no i'm sure they're probably mailed it to you as well cool awesome um so they're launching at RTX,

but they will be available online for everybody. Yes. After the event. We just want, the idea was we wanted to annoy as many people as possible. So they're going to drop on the event. We're putting as much inventory as we can there. So we can have as many grown tubes and a contained space.

Cause that would be horrendous for everybody there. Do you remember a couple years ago during the World Cup when everybody got excited about Vuvuzela? Yes, exactly. We're trying to recreate that magic at RTX this year. Exactly, yeah. So I felt it was important to clarify. In the merch meeting we had, somebody said it perfectly,

where everybody who wants one will get one. So they're launching at RTX, but they will be online too. So if you're unable to attend that event, you'll be able to go. You're like a war general, like sending all of the troops to one place. It's like, there's no room for any online. We're sending everything to RTX first.

We need to fire everything. Well, I don't know. I don't think, I'm assuming Face doesn't have a panel, considering you and I won't be there, Gavin, sadly. I don't know if that's true. It might just be me and Eric. I'll have to check on that. This considering you and I won't be there. Gavin, sadly, I don't know if that's true. It might just be me and Eric. I'll have to choose you and Eric. That's great.

Please record. Please record a whole room full of people. If there is a panel doing the grown tube at once, I need to. Yeah, it'll just be an hour. Oh, that's what I want.

It's like when people get everyone to turn on their phone light and wave them at the same time. We're going to have so many people, our tubes will groan out the sun. It's going to be amazing. When we eventually have our show in Vegas, I just love the idea of people having to travel with their groan tube. Like having to bring it in uniform. B-Y-O-T.

Yeah. Oh, I wonder if it would qualify for like, you know know you can't travel with liquid containers and stuff what's the volume of our grown tube oh no i'm sure it'll be fine can you imagine can you imagine like trying to declare a fuck stick like be great i want to have to write that um so dildo no goodness no that's ridiculous this isn't sexual at all it's a fuck stick it's totally different oh man i never thought after the saga of the uh of the porta potty tiki mugs i never thought we

would have another piece of merchandise that was as complicated to get made and take as long but boy did the grown tubes not disappoint what we're i mean talking about the port-a-pot just to clarify are you are you gonna be home jeff for your birthday are you gonna is that it's depending on emily i assume well my birthday is a sunday so uh mail doesn't deliver on sundays typically here in america why do you? I was just curious if you're going to be in the city or not. I'll be in the city. I'm going to be in town. I'm going to go swimming on my birthday. Good.

Okay. I'll be in Austin. Awesome. Ready to accept whatever hell you are about to unleash on me. No, never. I just want to make sure. I got worried. If you're in Vegas,

I would have to make some calls after we finish this recording. Well, I don't think that there's any danger of me being in Vegas anytime soon. Poor, poor Emily. Meow Wolf is in Vegas, right? Yeah, there are five.

So there are or will be five Meow Wolf locations. Santa Fe is the original and then Vegas and Denver opened up a couple years ago and then now they're opening two in Texas but not in Austin

we gotta try that Gerple drink cause I think all the people that yeah I think that's there I just connected that when we're in Vegas for our show

we gotta get some Gerples yeah we can totally do that that sounds great cause I the show that I'm apparently not going to attend I'll be blown away if you're there Andrewrew i'm 100 gonna be there i cannot wait to collect my 20 from jack it's gonna be fantastic anybody else who wants to put wagers in i'll gladly take them

nick wrote by the way so uh i think i could squeeze into that i think you could fit and i think the harness i just really i I want more clothing with harness holes. You never know when you need them. Maybe I could get lowered from the ceiling at the Vegas event. I'm going to write down to talk to Eric about this. I'll tell you this, Andrew. If you buy me a bunch of delicious Cosmic Crisp apples for my birthday and they show up, I'm not going to take one bite out of out of one throw it in a river and then dump the rest in a trash can on the way out who did that oh i don't know was that was that gavin no it was eric oh eric did it i see so you said

on the water and as since he's a near the water guy i didn't i didn't associate well we were on he threw it in the water we were on the... He threw it in the water. We were on the boat. Oh. Got it. They had Cosmic Crisps in the grocery flyer where I get my groceries from this week. Oh, yeah? I was very excited. Made my week. It's a lucky week this week.

I didn't realize that now we have cemented that people are going to notify us, I suspect, for the rest of our individual lives, about every new apple drop that comes out uh from i don't hate it i don't hate it either i don't hate it either fan of it it's it's like subscribing to a newsletter you forgot you subscribed to every once in a while they just like hit you up with like hey there's a new yellow apple looks good like division to thank me later yeah that's awesome that's a great idea. I was going to say,

because Eric's not here, we should do something we would never do while he's here, and we should all say one nice thing about him because he'll never hear it. So, but then, I don't know,

but then I got annoyed with him for not being here for f***ing things, so maybe I don't want to say nice stuff about him. I really feel like that was a conversation for you to have before we recorded.

It feels like you're torn between ideas well i didn't have a lot of choice you uh you were going on about your book club my book club oh that's fair there was a lack of pleasantries we're all thrown off from the lack of a lack of pleasantry talk what's that andrew what's the best book you've read in the last 72 days i i don't think i've read a book uh maybe like the game manual for fast and furious crossroads i guess if we want to call that a book. I don't think you can call that a book. Yeah.

Then I don't think I've read a book in the last 72 days. Why did you ask us if we'd read a book in the last 72 days? Because it's just pleasantry talk. No, it's just being silly. It's just silly. There's no reason. It was a completely random number. Why did I pick number 101 for the episode of the Palladio for Jeff

or whatever? Just random. zero logic went into it can i talk about one of my favorite events that i wish i would have talked about last week that happened i missed out oh yeah the nba finals started on the same night as the greatest sporting event of the year. The Scripps National Spelling Bee. And boy, was it a barn burner. Did you pick a kid? I picked a kid. My favorite tradition continued. There's one person in our league who picked a child. Vancouver Shopping. Yep, I'm the Vancouver Shopping.

The person that consistently takes the first kid eliminated got eliminated first once again. It was great. The disappointment. It was fantastic. My kid, I think, placed fifth. It was a wild show.

There's a woman. His child was eliminated and she left the stage. And then 10 minutes later, they said, actually, we fucked up. You can come back. You're back in this competition. Oh, so that's like a misspelling that that was actually spelled correctly no it was like we so the second round is they they give uh you have to guess the definition of a word so they'll tell you what it is and they'll give you three options

and technically how they phrased it two of the three would be correct and she picked one that they didn't view as correct but upon review they're like ah you could make the argument that that was a correct answer so she got to come back the show opened with a kid got an answer wrong in the round before that his parents disputed it and they decided he could enter the over there was his parents were very upset about it and so they decided if he could spell one word correctly before the show started he could then enter the finals so the first it opened with a spelling of a kid trying to get in and he got it i'm so glad it would be so embarrassing to fuck that word up like as the show was started and you're just yeah no you're you're double eliminated that car ride home oh it'd be so awkward

because he gave he kind of had vibes of i'm not super into this but my parents love this his dad was so fucking pumped when he made it into the finals he got it right um so the girl got eliminated she came back it went into the very first spell off the scripts spell off so there's an overtime round it's like penalty kicks where each kid goes up and they have to spell as many words as they can in 90 seconds so like they feed them a word and then they have to spell it and they hit a buzzer and it goes to the next word and just go back and forth and it is one of the craziest things i've ever seen oh shit speed spelling is wild uh and didn't the girl who got, the person who got

kicked out and then brought back in win? She won it all. The girl that kicked out, she's unstopped. Every time she'd come to the stage, I was making Terminator noises. You cannot Terminator. She would not go down. She was like, dun dun dun dun dun. Every time, and she would just nail words. They got to that spell off,

it was like she didn't breathe. She did like 26 words. Oh oh not even close you think i fucking know these words when i can't even say acetate or whatever the fuck that word was i don't know i don't know six letter words i watched i watched the spell off gavin and i'd never heard of any of those words ever before and andrew's not wrong she had like the focus of a swan she was locked in like a swan looking at your back yeah she had my yeah yeah yeah so what was the word that with the definition that they they gave a background i don't remember it was like something like it was a group of bees it meant like i think the definition was

it was like a group of a certain animal type and they had two different animals listed and she picked the wrong animal and they're like no the correct answer is b not it's bees not geese and they're like well technically you can make the case that geese would also fall under it's a weird like technicality thing like a murder of crows like yes those are great i love those what you call specific animal groups murder of crows is a good one how does that get decided i don't i mean how do we decide any word we've had this talk before what would it be if if uh podcasters were a group like coming towards you what could you call it yeah just unfortunate general population i don't know seems like everyone has a. A general population of podcasters?

A general population. No, it'd be like a... Is a group of podcasters are coming out of you or podcast audiences? Like if we were, if all the three of us were coming towards you,

what would the flock term be? It'd be a regulation of podcasters. Oh, regulation podcaster. Is that what you said? Yeah. A regulation. They would be a regulation. That's what I said. a regulation they would be a regulation that's what i said a regulation of podcasters yeah you're right i misheard now podcast levers nick says

we're still i appreciate you coming up with regulation jeff because i was i was trying and i just could not i couldn't't find it. I did my best. I was looking for it. I thought ad readers were okay, but it's like, eh, but regulation, a regulation is such a better natural fit.

You found, I wonder if that applies to any other animal. What do you mean? There's a regulation. A regular. Oh, you think there's a group of animals called a regulation? Yeah. List of animal regulation of buffalo or something if

it was gonna be like it obviously doesn't but if it was going to what animal do you think it would be oh well it's like the most bog standard animal i hate that with the amount of time i've spent with you my brain said the exact same thing internally i just, I just said that. I fucking hate it. There's no way that I'm naturally saying that. I've just spent too much time with you. Bog standard. Like, what animal do you think of if you think of an animal?

Hmm. Well, I think... See, I was thinking large, too, in kind of the same area. I think it's funnier if it's like an animal you don't see often. Like a regulation of giraffes. A regulation of giraffes isn't bad. The first thing that came to my mind, and I feel pretty good about,

is a regulation of dolphins. I was also thinking dolphins. But I'm a water guy. Yeah. Oh, regulation of dolphins. Yeah, I immediately went to land. I feel like land is the standard. But I guess there is more water than land on Earth. I think water is the standard, buddy of dolphins. Yeah, I immediately went to land. I feel like land is the standard, but I guess there is more water than land on Earth.

I think water is the standard, buddy. Yeah. Yeah. I'm saying, I'm turning around to it. A group of goldfish is apparently called a troubling, which is great. That's what we would be. Yeah.

What would you call two clusters of goldfish? Troublings? What? Double trouble, Andrew! Oh! I'm glad I didn't make that joke. That was weird. I was happy that I missed.

First time I've ever thought this, but should we end the podcast early after that? Double trouble? I think if that's where we are, maybe we... A double troubling of goldfish? I like flamingo as a flamboyance. A group of flamingos, flamboyance. Coyotes are a band!

A band of coyotes! That's fucking cool! This is where Eric, if he was here, would be yelling at us to stop just reading stuff off the internet. This is part of the show. But Nick said that is cool. This is part of the show. I don't know. But Nick said that is cool. I want to be in a band. A swarm.

It's for bees. Yeah, I mean, there's some shit ones, but caterpillars are an army. An army of caterpillars. Who decides these? I don't know. That's a great question. Who does decide these? I wonder how many caterpillars is required for an army

it makes you think hundreds like in columns I think of like there needs to be a set of tiers like you need a general you could have five people and if one of them is like a general and a sergeant I think you're an army yeah I don't think caterpillars are like a hive mind.

I assume there's a hierarchy there, that there's a lead caterpillar, right? It's not like ants. And even then, ants have a queen, right? I think the great play of, if you refer to yourself as an army, there is an implied largeness that doesn't have to be there. Like if we said we are an army,

people would assume there's more of us, when there might not be. That just might be a good strategic decision. C decision caterpillars maybe just want to seem bigger than they are how many everywhere in an army or there can't be you think there's a clear line i'd be shocked if there is like a definitive number yeah this is useless. It would be useless. Okay, so the dictionary definition of army is an organized military force equipped for fighting on land. So really, if you could organize two people,

I think two people could technically be an army as long as they're on land. It wouldn't be dolphins. No such thing as an army of dolphins. Hmm. That's a great point. That would be terrifying, though. Isn't that a movie? There's a movie about that, right? An army of dolphins? That's a great point. That would be terrifying though. Isn't that a movie?

There's a movie about that, right? An army of dolphins? Or is it one... There's a movie where the dolphin is trying to assassinate a president. That's a movie. But I don't know if that's an army. What the fuck are you talking about? I didn't make that up, I don't think. Dolphin

assassinate president movie. They like train a dolphin to kill the president the day of the dolphin i was hoping so much that was a dream marine biologist jake and maggie terrell have for many years been doing dolphin dolphin research in florida keys and have even coached some dolphins to speak primitive english but when two of the dolphins are kidnapped an investigation proves that the trail's financial backers, the Franklin Foundation, have had a sinister intention all along. The dolphins

are to be used to deliver and detonate explosives beneath the president's yacht. That's right. What is this movie called? The Day of the Dolphin. The Day... Alright, hold on. The Day of the Dolphin. Could you imagine deciding that the tagline of a movie

is unwittingly he trained a dolphin to kill the president of the United States. That's what you're going to put on there. Dude, it's got

George C. Scott in it. It's got Patton in it. Oh, that's amazing. Stream. Where are we going to watch this and

make a video out of it? Oh, we can watch it on Amazon Prime. Perfect. We'll add it to we're watching MVP 2. What's the other one? I think we agreed on a different movie and make a video out of it. Oh, we can watch it on Amazon Prime. Perfect. We'll add it to... We're watching MVP 2.

What's the other one? I think we agreed on a different movie recently as well. MVP 2, Day of the Dolphin. There's something else. There was discussion of Anaconda. There was. That's a great movie. I don't know if we need to do that.

Honestly, I'd rather... I think Lake Placid is a better version of that movie. Really? Yeah. There's only one part of lake placid i really enjoy and it's the fact that there's a character in it that is like a specialist in alligators or whatever and he sets all these traps up and only one of the main characters keeps stepping in them like it never actually impacts the character and it's like a running gag throughout the movie that this one guy gets stuck in six of his traps. There's no like payoff to it. It's just this thing that keeps happening throughout the film.

I really enjoy that. It's a dumb movie. It's great. Yeah. It's like it's alligator anaconda. Yeah. But I feel like to a lesser extent, like I think anaconda is more schlocky than Lake Placid. Lake Placid is dumb.

Anaconda is schlocky. I'll say this. Lake Placid has Betty White in it. It does. It is true. The legend. I wonder who won that contest. And I wonder if they regret running that contest.

I talked about on the show before. Oh, died so shortly after that. Oh, yeah. It was like to celebrate her hundredth which i don't think she reached sadly she was so close she was so close she was so close i have a question about when when you tell a story on this show something that happened in your personal life and you you tell it to like somebody involved with the story like when you fill somebody else in on the story what are you doing your first telling with the story, like when you fill somebody else in on the story, when you're doing your first telling to the story,

how often do you hear a different perspective of what you're going to tell? Like how often does that improve the story to you or like change your perspective on it? Every time. What's an example? So the shampoo bottle story that I told in the episode that just came out.

Yeah. The following day, like the first person I told that story to was my partner. And as I'm telling the story and I'm halfway through, they cut me off and immediately just said, wait, you had my shampoo bottle in your ass

in disgust, which is an aspect of it that I never considered. I never thought about like that that would be way worse than waking them up that they now have my ass all over the bottle i've been putting that on my hair yeah like i'm gonna have

to grab this bottle all the time that was in your ass now thank you for the kindness of doing that just curious if you guys had examples of like different i'll i'll say that like emily at least in my experience is like a one person comedy writing room and so when i'm going through and like telling the swan story or working it out uh she'll be like uh yeah but didn't this kind of happen or like don't forget about this thing or like in go go now she'd be like oh it's it's it was funny the way you said it this time be sure to say it like that and uh i find it to be invaluable yeah yeah what is it they say about like when you tell a story you're only telling it from like the you're only telling the last time you remembered it so like the more you tell it or like the more time between it just gets less accurate over time it's

i i find that a lot with if i tell a story like 10 times and then i tell it for the 11th time and someone from the original moment was there, they'll add in stuff that I've forgotten. I'm like, oh, how did I leave that out? And it's so it's so like overwritten by the other times I've told it. It's part of why I'm having so much fun doing that other show with Gus is because we're retelling stories from like the early days of Roost Teeth that we haven't told in years and years and years. And he reminds me of like entire events that I'd forgotten about, you know, just spun off of like one story. And it's like,

it's awesome. So that other show you do, I mean, to bring this up is Anma. It's a podcast, An-M-A. It has been such a delight to listen to that show. Really?

Yeah, I've really enjoyed it because I, I love you and we have this great friendship, but I also think you're so funny in content and the thing, like, f*** face, I don't listen to it at all, as we've covered for reasons that you displayed perfectly

earlier in this episode. There's nothing that'll make you hate yourself faster than re-listening to something you're part of. I'm so thankful, Gavin, that you're willing to prove these for us. So I've missed seeing you in content and to listen to a thing something you're part of. I'm so thankful, Gavin, that you're willing to prove these for us. Um, so I've missed seeing you and content and to like, listen to a thing where you're, you're just, you're so funny and it's such a relaxed environment for a show.

And the friendship between you and Gus is so genuine. It has been such a joy to listen to that, to that show. So I'd highly recommend anybody who listens to face, check out Anima. Oh, great series, especially if you, you love Jeff. Well, thank you. Andrew, what haven't been exposed to F*** Face. Check out Anma. It's a great series, especially if you love Jeff.

Well, thank you, Andrew. And you haven't been exposed to Gus, maybe, if you're outside of the Rooster Teeth world. He's a tour de force in his own right. Can I, a Gus thing that I feel like, I keep meaning to bring up, and I'm so glad that this conversation led me to this thought.

Before Break Shit started, we've done several of them at this point nearly a year i feel like the starting point of break shit was the fact that gus has a fucking garage filled with baseball cards and it has never been mentioned or searched for what is this does he still have them yeah are we ever gonna get those cards it's so funny it's so funny you mentioned that because that popped into my head. I actually tweeted a photo earlier today. I'm trying to consolidate

all the face break shit stuff because it's just in boxes around my house and in my car. And I'm trying to make some sense out of it because hopefully at some point we'll move into a studio that has a set that I can design and leave because right now I have to tear it down

and build it up and tear it down every time. It's a fucking transient nightmare. And that popped into my head I'm like all right doesn't Gus have like 40,000 baseball cards we're supposed to get I I gotta we just gotta do it like at the at the time he mentioned it I thought it would be fun to make like a little docu thing about it and like document driving down there together and like make a little video out of it but at this point I just want to get him you know if he still if he still has access to him which i think he does i'm glad you brought it up because uh i feel like it could be a huge and fun thing for us to to fuck with and it just kind of like a lot of face jokes that just kind of fell by the wayside for other stuff yeah i'd love to have an update for that. Or if you guys even just like recorded in a car like on the road podcast.

I don't know. That would be fun. That would be really fun. And I haven't been down to like the town where he grew up. I used to go down there early on in our friendship and like spend the weekend

with his mom and him and explore Mexico and stuff. Why are you laughing at that? That seems... You would never do that now. That's so funny. Oh, yeah. No, there's no way. Well, yeah. laughing at that that's just you would never do that now that's so funny oh yeah no there's no way

well yeah the difference between being 46 and 26 is pretty stark yeah but weren't you still married back then

uh yeah sometimes I go away for the weekend I don't know why that's weird to me yeah you'd just be like I'm gonna go

spend two days with Gus's family yeah I've done that a bunch of times while i was married and then also i was great a while yeah yeah fantastic nick uh nick had had to do the eric thing and tell us to wrap up he did there are times where like between recordings we'll be texting each other a lot. I don't know.

At least from my side, it was very quiet. I think we're all busy the last week. This is nice. This felt like a really relaxed, like get together, catch up type episode. Is it bad that since it was mentioned, I couldn't think of a single nice thing to say about Eric? Well, I would give you homework, but we don't want to do that to Andrew. No, not again. I was going to say, because I was struggling too.

He's got a good, I like his fashion sense. I think he dresses well. I'm into it. Yeah? Really? He's got a good style. Yeah. I think he's very fun.

He reminds me of, he's older's very fun. He's a, he reminds me of, he's older than me, but it's like, hanging out with him is like hanging out with someone when I was in my 20s. Yeah.

And I think that's nice about him. I will say, one thing that I like about Eric is just the longevity of how long I've known him and in the different contexts, you know, because he was like,

you know, he would like help out and was a part of Mega64, which like a group of peers uh in the internet space that we would do events with and stuff and so we've known him for i don't know so it's like year three of roosterteeth so probably like i don't know 15 years or something but i knew him in the in the context of like getting a beer with him at a convention in iowa or you know being next to... Like, throwing T-shirts at him across the aisle at Comic-Con or whatever. And it is so weird now

that we make a show together. Yeah. I mean, the face as a whole, I think that it came together at all is a bizarre thing. Yeah, he went from someone who I try to ignore as much as possible to someone I don't listen to whenever he says anything.

I always thought that he was like, I don't know, this is going to border on being too nice, but I'll be honest. I love that group, the Mega64 guys. I love all of them in their own way. Although I love, well, no, I'm not going to pick favorites. I think they're all great, but I always thought Eric was the funniest among them. And I always thought it was strange. I was like, well, why is that? The guy that's helping them out is a little bit funnier than the rest of them.

I wonder why that is. He's my favorite. There are certain topics that... He's like the person I will talk to you about. I was on Twitter the other day. And I saw this thread where somebody who used to produce podcasts for the wwe left and was talking about that experience and they said that jeff hardy has the worst wi-fi they've ever encountered and that he was wonderful but just the most absolutely dismal wi-fi and just like please get some better fucking wi-fi jeff hardy

and i said that to eric was just like the only person i know who i could send that to would have like a great conversation about of course jeff hardy would have shit internet like that is it just checks out on every level i'll say that eric is uh he's really good at sending me funny hot takes during basketball games oh yeah game four or what yeah four i can't count we just did four right notes yeah two one i'm sorry i've been out of i've been out of the fuck is wrong? What are you talking about? I, I, game four of the series is coming up. Friday night.

And I just, yeah. I was, I discounted game two. We're talking about the Celtics, Golden State Warriors, the finals. I couldn't believe they won game one. Game two, I didn't really care about because I felt like there was no way they could win. I did care, but you know what I mean? No, it's a scheduled, scheduled loss. Yeah, and the fact

that they've won game three now makes me think that they might actually win it all, so I'm very excited, but I also expect game four to be a loss. It's ludicrous to think that the Boston Celtics are two wins away from being NBA champions, and we are not a basketball podcast. We're a baseball

equipment podcast, so I guess it's like there's an affinity there, but I don't want to get too deep into sports because then nobody we're not a basketball podcast. We're baseballs. Well, actually we're a baseball equipment podcast. So I guess it's like, there's an affinity there, but I don't want to get like too deep into sports. Cause then nobody, everybody be mad at us. Uh, Oh,

you know what? We should probably end though. Uh, let me just tell you guys, I wish there was a funnier bit to it, but I got the new bike and it works great. Oh, that's so awesome.

Is it the seat? Any better for now? It's the seats worse. Uh, no, no, no, that's okay. That's okay. I just have to switch out.

I'll probably have to make a few modifications. I'll probably have to change the seat, and I might change the pedals out for the ones that I'm using now because they're grippier. But yeah, it's awesome. You know those shitty Instagram ads you get sometimes? It's like, hey, here's a box of goo.

Put your foot in it, and we'll send it back to us, and we'll make your shoe custom. Is there one for your ass? Like you could just. It's like, hey, here's a box of goo. Put your foot in it and we'll send it back to us and we'll make your shoe custom. Is there one for your ass? Like you could just sit in a box and it molds your ass and they'll print you a bike seat? I would pay a thousand dollars for that. For a custom contoured bike seat?

You pay a pancake phone number money for that. Have you ever seen the movie Safemen, Jeff? No. The character Sam Rockwell in it has a fake ass. Have you considered getting an ass just for riding your bike? Like an attachable ass. So I thought about an episode of King of the Hill

when Hank was having trouble sitting in his truck and he was riding lawnmower. It was hurting and it was because his butt wore away and he had to get butt implants. And I was like shit maybe i wore my butt off and i need to go get butt implants so i went to the doctor the doctor was like that was like you're a fucking idiot i was like all right this is why i don't go to the doctor you see those time lapses in wildlife where like a river will slowly erode rock it It just time-lapsed your ass as it got smaller. Hey, I gotta go get the door real fast.

Be just a second. I feel like it would have been good to already end it. Why don't we just wrap up the podcast? Thank you so much. Well, hang on. Now that Jeff's gone, that has reduced the amount of people in this to pleasantries amounts. So you could just finish your pleasantries with Nick.

Oh, I felt like... No, you don't. As somebody who's not part of pleasantries, that's finish your pleasantries with nick oh i i felt like you know you don't as somebody who's not part of pleasantries that's not how pleasantries work i thought it works when you're not recording and there's not everyone here no it's before it starts the pleasantries lead into the show the purpose of the pleasantries is that it like you have a conversation you calm down you have some laughs and then you go into the thing pleasant Pleasantries are great. I'm back. Continue with your pleasantries talk. Sorry, I had to get medicine for Emily.

Andrew doesn't want to do pleasantries. Well, it's not pleasantries. You can't have pleasantries at the end of a show. That's not pleasantries. What is it? Postries? It's postries. You guys do postries, the two of you, for hours to the point where I thought you were doing point where I thought you were doing a secret podcast.

Like, you guys are doing, like, a post show where you just make fun of Jeff for an hour. I don't know how that... I think that started because my computer is so shit, it takes, like, 12 minutes for me to export, and everybody leaves, so I'm just sitting in the channel by myself, and Gavin was like, what's going on in here? And then it just became a tradition that Gavin comes back in as I'm just sitting in the channel by myself and Gavin was like what's going on in here and then it just became a tradition that Gavin comes back in as I'm exporting we have

a little talk yeah I'd say every uh every single recording with we have a five minute well it's not apparently it's not pleasant but it's some sort of conversation and then it's definitely pleasant it's just not a pleasant tree it's not pleasant trees I I really I think that's kind of I think that's bullshit dude I think it's I think it's pleasant trees too I really I think that's kind of I think that's bullshit dude I think it's pleasantries I think it's pleasantries too I don't think pleasantries Is dictated by when

In the conversation It happens I think it could go at the end I think by definition Of the spirit of the show Pleasantries is before The podcast starts I think we have

A hundred plus episodes Where that sets When the time is Maybe not pleasantries In the outside world What if those are regulation Pleasantries And what we have afterwards Is deregulated pleasantries?

Can I say something I learned recently? Not all pleasantries are alike. You got to be very selective with your pleasantries. You should talk about that. Sometimes you go into meetings and pleasantries can be disastrous. I had a fun meeting with you guys that day. No, it was a great meeting I just am I was around new people I'm a social mess oh it was awkward I fucked it up so good listening to Andrew try and have pleasantries with two people he'd

never met or spoken to before and like trying to feel them out it was oh it was so funny I wish it was being recorded it was so. You were trying so hard. You were doing all the work. You can say a lot about me. I do try hard. That is a consistent. I will say, one thing I've learned,

outside of the context of F*** Face, where I do everything a little differently, I show up for every work-related meeting three minutes late, so I can avoid pleasantries. It's a good way to go. It is. It's something I've...

Different. It is a different animal outside of this podcast. Pleasantries. It is. Yes, I learned that the hard way. What did you think of my input? Nick says you want me to cut that?

No. Wait, what? Oh, Jeff. Jeff's thing. Not my thing. Showing up three minutes late so I don't have to do pleasantries? No, I don't think that's a rude

thing. No, I just pretend to be coming in late from another meeting. They don't know. Oh, yeah. I like the idea that you're just sat at your desk and then right before the meeting starts, or right before you join, you just run like five laps around your chair and you're like, whew, hey guys, sorry, I'm just coming in hot off this other thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Every meeting you start on the phone with somebody else, like you join the meeting and then you're just on a fake call. Also, also Nick is like, now they know here's the deal, Nick. No,

they don't. No one in our company listens to this podcast. The amount of conversations I have to have where I explain the most basic shit about people is ludicrous. There's no way I could, I can say anything I wanted to on this podcast and it wouldn't matter in the context of the people that we work with because they would

never, ever, even on accident, hear it. I've seen you explain to people at the company what works about f***face and then you'll go into a meeting a month later and explain the thing you were talking about and they'll be like, ooh, what's that? No one can bring themselves to delve in.

It's just like, It's a lot. It's a deep lore about nothing. It's the f*** face curse that it's not just the podcast. It extends to conversations and meetings too. Whereas like as soon as the meeting

about the f*** face thing is over, everybody else from every other department in the company, their brain toilet flushes too. And they're like, f***ing don't do that. I have been enjoying the weekly newsletter that's been coming out the internal one that has to say that anal passage is the top seller of

everything because you know there's everyone at the company just thinking i don't even want to look up what that could be about dude i don't want to get too granular into sales and stuff. But let me just say that the face annual anal passage shirt is it's near and four figures in sales, which is absolutely ludicrous. I can't fucking believe it. I can't believe that in like 19 and a half years of selling t-shirts online, uh, through various productions, uh,

this is like anal passages approaching like top 50 for the history of the company at, at some point, I think, you know, it's fucking ridiculous. Wow. I love it.

That's awesome. Yeah. That also may not be true. It's just going off the top of my head. No, that's great. Let's just claim it's true. That's fantastic. It's like, it's like bow chick the top of my head. No, that's great. Let's just claim it's true. It's fantastic.

It's like, it's like Bouchica Bow Wow. Camping is a legitimate strategy. Zombie plan and the caboose shirt and anal passage. That's a great lie. Like, even if it's not true, there's some, it's important to have good lies. I was talking to a friend recently and they were in this dance competition that was like every school uh in this

area competed and they only read out the top 10 names of the thing so one of the kids is a lie said they placed 11th because they only did like they only read 10 like nobody knows i don't think they even ranked 10 but almost everybody in I don't think they even ranked 10, but almost everybody in the group believed that they came 11th. They genuinely thought that and it got printed in the newsletter. And there are kids who lived

like 20 years of their lives thinking they placed 11th in the finals of this dance competition. It's like complete bullshit. So even if the anal passage shirt isn't in the top, whatever you said, it's a great lie.

Let's just go with that. We should probably wrap up though. This has gone on way longer than it's supposed to. Yeah. Nick tried to end it several times. I was trying to cut it off at like the 40 minute Mark, but, uh,

after the double trouble, I gotta say, I don't know what it is uh but the last two episodes we've recorded after i've uh i've just felt really really good really good about until i listened to that one episode 106 so i'll continue to go get about 107 because i'll never hear it but uh i feel like this one was pretty good too i feel like i've been enjoying it's very sweet enjoying this little like phase of the podcast that we're in what is this phase it's not really driven by a specific thing it's very sweet enjoying this little like phase of the podcast that we're in what is this phase it's not really driven by a specific thing it's just sort of a intermediary phase yeah just kind of relax just catching up with each other it's very genuine it's almost like it's almost

like a it's almost like a like mid-season mid-episode pleasantries that's a great way to put it this does feel mid-season mid-episode pleasantries. That's a great way to put it. This does feel mid-season, mid-episode pleasantries. I'm really excited to find out what constitutes the switch of volumes. Oh, yeah. The volume is complicated. You and me both. Yeah, that could be

like a decade-long volume one. I've just been... What season are we in? We're in season four. I've just been throwing volume one out to extend the title. But I do assume

there will be a volume two at some point. And as soon as that happens, we'll do volume two for a while do assume there will be a volume two at some point. And as soon as that happens, we'll do volume two for a while and then it will be revealed that it's like chapter one or something. Because we'll still be

in one of something. Edition one. All right, let's stop talking to each other. Well, except for you two. You guys will continue to talk for a brief period of time. I'm going to stop talking

to you guys. And Jeff, I won't see you in Vegas and jeff i won't see you in vegas all right gavin i won't see you this weekend uh but i hope you have a great time i assume that because we're not spending time together uh in austin or anywhere else the weather will be lovely and you'll be able to swim and get some 42 degrees this weekend yeah eat some barbecue and do whatever it is you do, buddy. And Andrew, I hope Canada is pleasant. Thank you. Okay. I'm actually going to be in Vegas next weekend.

Are you going to be in Vegas next weekend? Yeah, I am. I'm not even. What? I'm in Vegas next week. What? In June? Family trip.

Yeah. You motherfucker. It's a family trip. You're a liar. No, I'm not lying. You're a liar You're a fucking liar No I'm not lying You're a liar Are you serious

You are such a little Fucking liar You said you weren't Going to America You wouldn't step foot In America It's too soon It wasn't

My choice Okay It was a family trip That I didn't plan I didn't What do you mean In the same month That we wanted you

To go to Vegas It's complicated, okay? On my birthday weekend? The week after Gavin and I were supposed to go to Vegas? We could've planned a big weekend together! We could've hung out with your mom! I don't believe it. I think he's lying.

No, I'm gonna be there for a week. You're not- What? June 20th. I leave June 20th. Probably need to schedule with Eric. About recording, maybe. I don't know

What I don't even Sorry I didn't plan for it I don't even know what to say to this I was excited Who goes to Vegas for a week I

It was a whole thing with like Apparently the tickets were Were like cheaper If we came back on a different day And it would only cost The tickets if you went with us Would have been free! Well, I didn't plan this.

As I said, I'm just going on this trip. And I was really excited internally. I was very excited because I thought, oh, we might all be in Vegas at the same time coincidentally. That would have been time. Well, that sucked all my good feeling out of the mid-season, mid-episode pleasant. I'm just kidding. I'm not going to mid-episode pleasant. I'm just kidding.

I'm not going to make that. It was all just kidding. That wasn't real. I'm just joking. We might need to reschedule next week. That was a kidding. All right. Well, if somebody's got in this, so let's stop doing this.

Thanks for listening. Yeah uh thanks for listening yeah thanks for listening like and review and subscribe and tell a friend tell two friends tell an acquaintance tell a teacher uh tell a parental figure uh maybe tell a boss tell an employee tell a retail worker brighten their day uh if you go to an airport anytime soon, be sure to tell the stewardess and the flight attendant, I think as they're referred to now. If you go to McDonald's, maybe tell somebody, you see somebody with a shake, tell them hey, they're lucky, the shake machine's always broken,

but tell them, hey, listen to F*** Face. They talk about shakes sometimes. And, oh, if you're a dog lover, tell somebody about F*** Face. I don't know why. We'll see you next week. In all seriousness, I'm definitely not maybe going to Vegas. You little fucking shit.

He's going to fucking Vegas. Hey, guys. Major League fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face. Jeff has a new metal roof. The gang hits up eBay. The billionaires need help, too. What is the safest mode of transportation? Jeff is a big Explorers fan. Gavin flips a coin. And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more

on next week's episode of F*** Face.