Regulation Podcast - Bean or Bark // Sea of Thieves Hack [205]

Episode Date: May 1, 2024

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about potato facts, raccoon fingers, opposable thumbs, stinkiest temperatures, cold sauce, the flavor of cold, the great raccoon scandal of 2016, coffee and vanilla beans, animals we don’t care about, birds, new draft ideas, formal apology to the Celtics, the Vancouver Canucks, getting ahead of light, rug cleaning, believing what we see on the internet, never asking questions, not correcting people, trading cars for rugs, Albert snores, Sea of Thieves life hack, The Panton Store, and more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

hello and welcome to another episode of the face podcast uh my name is jeff ramsey with me as always andrew pantin gavin free episode 205 i will don't quote me on this, but I believe this is our 204th episode. The first permanent potato patches on U.S. soil were established in 1719 near Londonderry, New Hampshire. Sorry, go ahead, continue. I just wanted to get that out of the way. Oh, what was the potato facts bit?

I can't remember. I can't either. You had one i just uh we'll talk about between episodes that was the whole thing was it oh you've this is your easter egg you've buried potatoes this is the second to last episode of face under that name uh so i need to i need to empty out my drawers a little bit i easter eggs got found pantry you might have some david i was tracking you via slack people have speculated on that for a long time slack it automatically updates what time zone you're in whenever you sign on so that is when we're doing the money thing that was my system of checking to see but did it ever change it

automatically changes whenever but did you ever see it somewhere else no because i i eventually just came to terms with the idea you were not coming so well you know the vpn would keep it in central time wouldn't it you yeah you're not vpn and on slack calm down relax you're not the international man of mystery i mean vpn is just the whole device all right we're gonna throw around fancy letters like that i don't know this guy over here i don't know i don't think your system works son i think it works great because i know whenever you're in london son i know whenever you're overseas son maybe because i tell you.

He's got you there, son. I check it. That's how I knew it because I don't, you know, time is complicated. And if you were back home, I didn't want to message you at 2 a.m. So I'd check Slack to see what time you were in. I mean, I don't get alerts in the night wherever I am. Yeah, we clarified that later. That's why I started texting you at 2 a.m.

Yeah, we clarified that later. That's why I started texting you at 2 a.m. I think I... I think my last 2 a.m. text to you was what? Was it about thumbs? Was it appendages? Or maybe I didn't text... I was thinking about what animal

I would most like to fist bump, which then turned into which animals have hands. Oh, what would be a good fist bump? A sloth. A sloth would be an awesome fist bump. Does a sloth have hands. Oh, what would be a good fist bump? A sloth. Sloth would be an awesome fist bump. Does a sloth have hands? Yeah, a sloth has hands with those crazy claws

and they're always curled up. It makes a perfect fist, man. A sloth would be a perfect fist bump animal. It would take a really long time. I don't think you need hands. See, that's potentially a dead... That looks like a wolverine. I think you don't need hands or fists for a fist bump.

I think fist bumping an octopus would feel so good. I hate it. No. I don't trust octopus. It would roll a tentacle into a fist shape and it would just go boink. Oh, I don't like it. I don't trust it.

It's going to fist bump me and wrap around my wrist. It would take me out like Jack Nicholson in Mars Attacks. I'd think everything was all good and then it would just immediately on the attack. And then you'd have a flag sticking out of your heart. Yeah. The octopus flag. The octopus flag. Everyone's favorite nation.

Octopus. It turned into a larger debate of do raccoons have hands or what constitutes a hand I was talking with someone who felt that raccoons didn't have hands because they didn't have thumbs and is the thumb a requirement to have a hand I think a thumb is only a requirement to having a thumb you don't think it eliminates like that's that's a hand that's a fucking hand if you had a thumb instead of a big toe it wouldn't be a hand. That's a fucking hand. That's like I would say two hands. If you had a thumb instead of a big

toe, it wouldn't be a hand. I just think if we're not like the placement, that's like total thumb placement. Right? It is thumb placement. So why isn't it a thumb? It doesn't have enough bend? Doesn't have enough joints?

I guess it's just not considered a thumb. I don't think raccoons have thumbs. well look up do raccoons have thumbs maybe maybe you shouldn't do anything on your computer man no i'm not i'm like i'm using my phone okay i'm so i'm so worried about anything on this computer we just had we just had a a slow start to the let's play today raccoons do not have opposable thumbs they do have five dexterous toes they just don't have opposable thumbs what makes the thumb opposable yeah i don't know why why is my thumb opposable but my finger isn't opposable is it because it's opposite is that what opposable means the ability is facilitated by a cellar saddle shaped joint between the trip trapezium the wrist

bone that supports the thumb and the first metacarpal which allows an approximate 45 degree range of rotation of the thumb about its own long axis i think it's i think it's because you can like move it left and right and up and down like further than you could your fingers i think that's what it's saying my my argument for raccoons having hands despite a lack of thumbs is if a person got into a very specific let's say like construction accident that resulted in them losing only both of their thumbs nobody would say they lost their hands. What if they kept the thumbs but lost all opposability? Oh, man. I don't want to live in a world

with non-opposable thumbs. Here's why a raccoon has hands. Because it can count to ten on them. Okay. So, Jeff, if you lost your thumbs in a construction accident and the only thumbs they could replace it with are raccoon fingers,

would you take that? Yes. Okay. You'd have little... I'd be just like the girl in Fallout. I'd just take the new finger. I don't care. I feel like you might have a huge advantage in Thumb Wars.

I bet you a raccoon toe as your thumb is a... I bet you that's a sneaky thumb. I bet you can move. I bet you could pierce stuff with that nail, too. Oh! I could do my own i could put new holes in in belts what would be i want that's so specific i was just trying to think of what i've ever punctured in my life what would be the best animal to hug not a sloth

uh my brain immediately went bear, but I don't want to deal with the claws. The claws make that a problem, but I feel like every other part of a bear hug. It's a term. A bear hand has like seven fingers, doesn't it? Gracie wants to hug a polar bear. Yeah, bear hug.

Why a polar bear specifically? A polar bear? What? I've just always really liked them. I mean, any bear. I mean, it's friendly in this scenario. Right. Yeah, Coke has done wonders for the image

of the polar bear. It's not like what would be the best animal to hug that is also not going to rip your throat out while you're hugging it. It's just like, what would be the best animal to hug? I don't know if a polar bear would often be good to hug, because it's probably going to be really cold and wet and damp. I think best animal to hug i don't know if a polar bear would often be good to hug because it's probably gonna be really cold and wet and damp i think best animal to share a coke with for sure i like the idea if it's not wet if it's just chilly a nice little chilly hug

that feels comfy that feels relaxing like that does look cute but there's no way they smell good there has to be like a minimum size requirement for the hug right like it would you can't be like oh like raccoon isn't a good answer because it's not getting its arms around you it's just sort of being like that's you like he's trying to hug you but you know like can't so like there's that kind of thing you know what i like what what's the minimum can i ask a question that i hope doesn't make me sound dumb yeah of course well gavin you were saying that they probably smell bad yeah does it smell when it's too cold outside like can it get so cold you don't smell stuff i don't know if this is a real thing or not but i feel like there is a scent to very cold i feel like you could smell the shit

I don't know that I've ever smelled anything when I've been cold other than the smell of cold now I've been to like a penguin encounter thing where like they let you into like the penguin place and like you feed the penguins and stuff

um it was so fucking cold in there. And it stunk so bad. It was awful. So it must be so, so, so much colder to not have any smell at all. Because I'll never forget the smell of the penguin enclosure. Do you think maybe in that instance, maybe it's the opposite? And maybe cold makes stuff smell more?

Like there's not heat in the way. All the heat waves are gone. There's a bell curve. Yeah. It's like normal smells and then you get to like 15 degrees. 15 degrees is no smell, but then you go below 15 and you're like, oh no,

it's minus 6. This smells like shit. Like, yeah, that's a good idea. Nick wrote, warm air is not as dense as cold air, so the molecules have more room to move around and they move faster. Making them more available for us to smell. So the more room for the molecule, the stink. So does that mean right before a vacuum is the stinkiest possible time? Like if I farted right before a complete vacuum.

That's why farts smell worse under the covers. It's not just that they're trapped. It's that it's hotter under there. Oh, yeah. Andrew going, hmm. I'm thinking. You're the scientist of practice. No, I am.

I always, I wish that. What's the science? I don't know about the science of that. You know how there's hot sauce? I always wish there was cold sauce. I wish there was like a food equivalent. That might, in the history of this show, that might be the most Gavin sentence you've ever fucking said, man.

Well, I can't handle super spicy things, but I feel like my tolerance for cold would be very high. But there's not like a sauce that makes things colder in the same way that gives a hot sensation what is cold what is a cold flavor to you like what's what tastes cold i want my mouth to burr in the same way my mouth would go oh that's hot when i'm biting into some hot sauce yeah no i get it but i'm like the only flavor that i can think of because spicy is just spicy it just it tastes like spice or heat right but the only thing i can think of, because spicy is just spicy. It tastes like spice or heat, right? But the only thing I can think of that's like

the flavor of cold would be like that pale blue Gatorade. Oh, yeah. I'm okay with that. Oatmeal. Do you have cold oatmeal? Yeah, why oatmeal? It's just really not spicy.

it's just really not spicy Gavin, oatmeal's kind of not anything I don't really get your piping hot greens yeah I just feel like if you want cold sauce, stuff is hot because they made it hot. They put spice in it or they put stuff in it.

You just go, you're just undoing. But I'm saying I wish, in the same way, I wish there was a capsaicin equivalent to cold. Mint. Oh, yeah. But mint is like a different flavor. I don't know. And too But mint is like a different flavor. I don't know. Yeah, and too much mint can have a spicy effect.

It can, but when I think of it as like a sauce or like some kind of other piece to something, it's cooling. It has a cooling effect more than any other food that I can really like think of. Gracie is saying lettuce, ice, and water, which is not helping this conversation at all. That all tastes like the opposite of spice to me, though, for sure. which is not helping this conversation at all. That all tastes like

the opposite of spice to me, though, for sure. What about an iced lettuce sauce? Salad dressing? Blend lettuce and ice and put that on a hot curry and see what happens. Oh, you could call it lead ice. Instead of lettuce? The look of disappointment of the restaurant seeing you you pour your lettuce

over the dinner that you just made i would want to see if i could get a very spicy vindaloo put some lettuce sauce on it and then put a bunch of hot sauce on top and really trick everything about my mouth i I just wish there was a negate. I just wish it went the other way. I wish there was a cold ones. That wasn't beer related, because I know that's a beer thing. A genuine just cold sauce.

I'd be a fan of. But the temperature wouldn't be cold. It would just be non-spicy. Well, I mean, no. It needs to be cold. Hot. Right. Hot sauce is hot. What do you mean? It's not spicy.

It's not like it's 125 degrees when you put it on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Room temp. Cool, thanks, man. Why is what I said didn't make any sense? What did you say? Can you repeat what you said and re-evaluate?

Yeah, go ahead go ahead state what you're gonna say i don't really remember what i said that's the sentence of me bitching about it grammatically collapsed from under me i don't know where to go from here i feel like i feel like you're not even sure where you stand i mean i'll be on your side in the sense that it feels like every single product is becoming spicy like even the starbucks summer drinks are we've put spicy shit in them but i've never heard of a spiced oatmeal that does seem like an unclaimed untouched maybe it's just cold spice it up a little bit yeah oh yeah, some cinnamon, but like that's not... I can... I feel like cinnamon is its own thing as well. It's not cool or spicy?

I don't know where cinnamon comes from. Isn't it a spice? Is that a plant? It's a spice. Do I dig it out of the ground? Is it in a tree? Where would I find cinnamon? Now I want to...

I'm asking because you're kind of like positing this like do I do this? Do I do that? Where do you think it comes from? It strikes me as something I'd need a shovel for. It feels earthy. Feels like it's in the ground. Only raccoon thumbs can dig them out. Yeah. Only

non-opposable thumbs. That is, so you guys aren't familiar with the great raccoon scandal of 2016 cinnabon almost went down raccoon labor um is it a plant no it's a tree because i've actually it's true that makes sense because i've seen it all rolled up when you buy the stick of it like a similar to vanilla yeah vanilla comes from a tree what's being barky isn't it like bean bark it is i don't know what is happening what is going on it seems where does vanilla come from it's not like a it's like a fruit vanilla is just a bean

cinnamon is bark from a tree. Isn't vanilla beans like barkish? What does that, what do you mean? What does that mean? I know cocoa beans are on trees because of Minecraft. Vanilla bean. Let me look at some pictures here. Okay.

Here's a couple. It looks like a woman. Right, yeah. And do you know why that is, Gavin? Why is that? Because it's a couple. It looks like a lemon barky. Right, yeah. And do you know why that is, Gavin? Why is that? Because it's a bean that they dry out. It's a bean. It looks like a string bean.

It's less barky and more, it's more like a pod than a bark. So it just looks like a green bean at first. Okay. Right, right. So it's not even close. They're like similar. I just thought they came like that i didn't realize we did that to them so what's his raw vanilla taste like i don't know like like before they do like process it or whatever yeah i don't know have you seen find out like cacao before it's yes yeah it looks like have you seen that gavin

yeah exactly so like you wouldn't think that that's what chocolate comes from but here we are you know it was like a thing it's gross if you gave me a machete and said go get some vanilla from this jungle i'm never identifying that as vanilla yeah and even if i asked a local and he said get that i'd call him an idiot yeah i'd be like i don't trust this guy that's how i'm sure i was the vanilla didn't look like that i'm gonna chop this off the tree to be polite but i ain't fooling for this so is it only is it only brown if we bake it like his coffee green yeah no yeah. Don't say, why are you saying no? What, the cherry? The cherry, the coffee cherry?

It doesn't have to be. What? The coffee bean, like a raw coffee bean? Yeah, green. Coffee is cherry, a coffee bean is cherry. Coffee bean comes from a cherry. What? And it's a fruit.

It's the inner part of a fruit. I've always wanted to try a coffee cherry. Why do you say coffee cherry? Wow, that's a coffee bean? Before they're roasted, they're this sort of greenish, palish, yellow color. Look up coffee bean before it's bean.

It's a fruit. It's a cherry. Coffee bean before it's bean? Is that what you said? Yeah. He's totally right. You got it? Coffee bean before it's bean? First result. I'll send it here okay here you go yeah see it's like a cherry so it's a little fruit like a little grape so it goes through a cherry phase yeah and then what we cook it afterwards yes wow what the damn a coffee bean is like the cherry seat the thing the thing

about coffee is that it should probably be way more expensive than it is because it doesn't grow everywhere and you have to do so much to it to make it be drinkable when when does the caffeine occur is it caffeinated cherry i don't you know i'm not sure but i bet it is i bet there's i bet there's naturally occurring caffeine within it now i'm not a big coffee guy but look at how fucking delicious it looks like as a fruit it i mean i i would love to try one i don't know how available they are because it's a shitty fruit it's like the thinnest layer of actual fruit bit it is like 95 percent seed hey you asked me to throw away the ones that look like they'd be disgusting i'd throw away like the coffee bit look at how delicious that looks

it does stumble across that yeah remind me uh me, while we're talking about fruit, after we wrap this up, remind me I have a fruit thing I want to switch into. Fruit gloves? No. Oh, shit. Fruit gloves.

I mean, you can take it away with your fruit if you want to. I was thinking, what? Is that what? Is it saying

the monkeys eat that shit? Like they eat the fruit and then we cook their poo to coffee? The little civet thing? What's that shite? Oh, I guess it would be. It's a cat. A civet is a cat, isn't it?

Oh, I thought it was monkey shite. Yeah, I think it's cat shit. But yeah, it must be that they like that fruit. What a cutie. Nick shot that out of a cannon earlier today. You said that's a cat? Yeah, it is a small, lean, mostly nocturnal mammal. Got hands.

Tropical Asia and Africa. Wow. Civet. Civet. Cute. And I think it's not a good thing to eat. Yeah, I don't think it's a healthy process for them. I think that there's a lot of concerns about it not being good for the civets.

It's like that thing where they feed ducks a lot of stuff and then you eat their liver. It's like the same thing, like making that thing eat coffee. Yeah, the goose liver shit. Yeah. Are there certain animals you don't care about? This is, now we're talking.

Now we're getting into it. Mosquito, I didn't give a shit about him. Yeah, that's good. Absolute turbo genocide. I'm all for. I just rewatched, I didn't rewatch, I watched the, I watched the Chris Pratt Jurassic Park movies, and the last two especially,

are really reliant on you thinking the dinosaurs should live and deserve to exist and I just don't give a fuck about them at all. I want them all to die. But on its face it goes against its very thesis which is well these things need to be able to live and then

you go well no they went extinct one time we can just bring them back again. That's it. I don't. It's terrible. I don't like any of it. I don't like that they domesticated raptors. It'd be like Predator 2 having a predator.

I don't like any of it. Yeah. I want them to be dumb killing machines. I don't like the fact that it's just allowed in that world that there are now flying dinosaurs, pterodactyls and shit. And you're just like in an American Airlines plane and you're like, oh, look out the window. It's a let's hope that pterodactyls and shit and you're just like in an American Airlines plane and you're like oh look out the window it's uh let's hope that pterodactyl's not hungry. Oh no it

is. Yeah I don't buy it. The six trillion dollar military budget we can get rid of some pterodactyls. I ain't worried about pterodactyls. Wasn't the plot the whole plot the first movie hey you shouldn't play God? Yes. Yeah. So why are we on the side of the dinosaurs? Cause it's movie seven yeah they got

they got bored there was a guy who had a gun and he pointed the gun at people and the gun didn't shoot bullets it shot dinosaur how many times you can just tell that same fucking story you gotta mix it up yeah does the lunchbox still exist uh yeah i just opened some in fallout 76 last night actually but that is that modern thing for today's school kids oh yeah oh well like a lunch bag like they're they're uh like millie has them or had them and uh you would like freeze it overnight and then you take it out and then put this shit in it i think jurassic park i think jurassic park lunchbox really yeah i think bb wong Did you have a Jurassic Park lunchbox? Yeah, and I had Thunderbirds.

Wow. The more recent film Thunderbirds or the old Thunderbirds? Old Puppets. Nice. F.A.B. Very cool. Did you have any Thunderbirds posters on your wall? I had no posters, but I did have a little model of Thunderbird 2,

and you could drop the middle and Thunderbird 4 would come out. Gracie just posted a Curious George lunchbox. I think I may have had the same. Nice. Oh, Eric, that reads. That checks. That's the one that I had. I had the Simpsons lunchbox in 1991 or whatever.

Just real quick, I want to circle back that while we were talking about dinosaurs and animals you don't care about, Gracie just started listing them in the chat. Birds, pigeon crow, June bugs, crickets. I don't like any of those. I like the cricket noise. I think a cricket can create great atmosphere.

You don't like the noise? I think I'm traumatized by it because over the summer, my apartment had a cricket infestation and I would wake up to them in the middle of the night in my room. So now I really hate them. Okay, that's fair. And Gavin, no, I don't really mess with birds. They kind of freak me out. I don't mess with birds.

I'm not a big fan. One flew really close to my face a couple weeks ago. Have you ever been chased? Chased? Yeah, have you ever been chased by a bird? Not to my memory, but I would not like to be. That is scary. I love tiny little birds.

Like a hummingbird? Maybe not that small, but one you'd find in a PetSmart. Wow, look how small that is Yeah like a goldfinch But I'll admire those from afar So you don't hate this I want nothing to do with it, but you don't trust so you would never have a bird feeder It's not oh my god. I have 35 in my backyard because of Emily. Oh, like hummingbird or like general feeders?

It is like bird thunderdome every day in my backyard. The pigeons, the morning doves, and the blue jays going at it left and right, all the fucking little birds running around picking up the pieces. It's like the squirrels get involved. It's like a giant cage match. I've got mad squirrels get involved it's it's like a giant cage match i got mad

squirrels yeah i have a garbage bag that has probably like 16 containers of mcdonald's fries in it on my patio and i'm in constant fear whenever i i remember that it's out there that i'm just gonna wake up to a swarm of seagulls they're gonna figure it out why are they out there uh when uh i thought that the nugget buddies were going away and i bought like 20 nugget buddy meals uh at one time in the past i just it was too many fries i couldn't i could at least refrigerate you can't preserve the fries so i had to get rid of a bunch of fries out there oh they're in a garbage bag and uh i didn't feel like taking it down so i put it to the side

out my patio door and then i just haven't it's been winter so i haven't gone on the patio and i just forget that it's there so you just there right now frozen raw out there oh well i mean it's it's mcdonald's fries they're gonna preserve they would survive the fallout bombs they're fine they're not he's also at the part in the smell curve where it doesn't emanate an odor oh i never smelled anything yeah it's gone but i was worried about the bird smelling it what if you went out there now and just huffed the bag i know i don't listen my breathing tubes are not great as it is i'm not i feel like we're on the edge of recovery i can't do that it's too dangerous just throw three more months into your recovery yeah hey also how cold is it i need a

temperature we're talking about heat it depends oh yeah i don't want to amplify the bag might not be dense enough well too dense talk about your Talk about your fruit thing. Yeah, I was going to say, hey, last week, I think it was last week, we recorded a couple of drafts, right? Yeah. Yeah. And obviously for the new thing. And it was some of the most fun I've had in a very long time. I forgot how much I enjoy doing the drafts. And I want to keep that momentum going.

And so I want to propose a new draft to you guys. And so I want to propose a new draft to you guys. And I think it'll be interesting because the pool, I mean, the pool is always everything in the world that fits the category. Right. But I feel like the pool for this one is naturally a little smaller. And I think that we all have heated opinions about these things. So I propose to you guys,

and there's a part two to it. I propose to you guys, we do a fruit draft. Yeah. We do a fruit draft. Yeah. We do a fruit draft, right? We all draft our favorite fruit. And then at the end, we all take the four fruits that we've combined,

that we ended up with, and we have to make them into a smoothie. And then we do a taste test to see whose smoothie tastes the best. Wow. So you're going to have to, you can't just, if someone takes your fruit,

you can't just shove in any old fruit. You're going to have to have a complimentary fruit. I mean, I think that the taste test would have to come later lot you can't just if someone takes your fruit you can't just shove in any old fruit you're gonna have to have a complimentary fruit i mean i think that the taste test would have to come later and supplemental content probably but but yeah that's essentially what how that's that's great i think that's a fantastic idea thank you that's great thank you i was pretty excited about it i figured that maybe that'd be something we do here in the next couple weeks i also had an idea for a draft that i think is is probably shit, but I want to throw it to the group. Okay, a Question draft The best questions I

Like it I Mean yeah, I'm let's do it I'm not gonna say no to a draft. Yeah, all right. I Will say there was less enthusiasm from Andrew on the question. There was absolute less enthusiasm. That was me processing. I don't have my brain around it at this point, but I trust Gavin, and so I'm all about it.

Andrew has to figure out a way how to cheat it. He's just going to take some time. Yeah, definitely. Oh, can I just put a question mark at the end of a regular sentence? Do you think that there's probably like a number one, like a number one question? Yeah, I can think of some good ones, but I feel like even today we've we've had. Does a raccoon have thumbs? Great question. Why is there no cold sauce?

I have the I don't want to ask my questions here because I want to save them for the draft. I have a draft idea that was inspired I had this thought well Jeff you were explaining your draft idea although it's unrelated could we do a birds Gracie likes the least draft and she just has to judge she's the judge

after who has the but she has to have an entire ranking system like there are snakes I hate more than other snakes exactly Who has the... Yeah, but she has to have an entire ranking system. Like, there are snakes I hate more than other snakes. Exactly. We'll each compile a gang of birds, and then Gracie will say who has the worst gang.

Which group would she least like to be around? And that's whoever wins. So we decide who wins. We had a lot of drafts. A lot of drafts. I'm excited. Wherever you're going going you better believe American Express will be right there with you heading for adventure? we'll help you breeze through security

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start the chat download bumble and try it for yourself. Hey, can I, can I take the, can I do one other real quick thing here? Of course. I want to, before we get too deep in the episode, I feel like this is something important and I need to address. I have, I've prepared a statement that I would like to read now.

If you guys would just wouldn't mind just being quiet while I try to get through this, this might be a little difficult for me, but I'm going to go get a glass of water. You start. Yeah, that's fine. Uh, all for me. I'm going to go get a glass of water. You start. Yeah, that's fine. All right, I'm just going to go. Dear Boston Celtics and fans of the Boston Celtics,

I am truly sorry. Last night is my fault. It is on me. Please don't blame the team. Don't blame the front office. Please don't blame the referees. Please don't blame the Miami don't blame the front office please don't blame the referees please don't blame the Miami Heat it was definitely me I chose the wrong socks

yesterday morning I knew the consequences that if I picked wrong and I still did it I took green and I something in the back of my head was like you should wear the white socks today because it's a home game but I wore green because it's like a louder color and I felt very loud in my and proud about Boston.

And the end result is we got our fucking asses kicked by 10 points at home because I didn't listen to my gut. And so I promise that I'm never going to make a sock-related mistake again. Sincerely, Jeff Ramsey.

If you roasted them, would they be brown? If we lose to the heat, i might have to do that we have sports if you want to go into sports i'm sorry jeff that they lost i was shocked to see that they lost by such a large margin well now you know why now you know why because i was standing in my closet yesterday morning thinking if if you fuck this up for the Celtics, they lose tonight because you chose the Green Sox. And then the other part of me was like, that's superstitious.

Don't be stupid. You're 40, almost 49 years old. And I fucking knew better. I should, I should. Anyway. I had a similar experience with the Canucks. As you may remember at the beginning of the season, I talked about making an alternate,

like a burner account just to complain about the Canucks, my caviar phone. And I bought the caviar phone in the form of a new digi, but the Canucks for most of the year were the number one team in the NHL unexpectedly. Nobody saw this coming. They were elite. And so i never wanted to address it or uh acknowledge hockey in any way people would ask about it because i thought if i say no i don't have a caviar account then i will immediately need one and the team will be terrible and uh we made it all the way to the playoffs and i got to enjoy one game and then the star goalie got hurt and we're gonna he's gone he's done for the season playoffs are dead I got to have one one game of joy and hope

and I thought the whole year being like I'm not gonna fall for it I'm not gonna buy into this and I bought into it and it's already falling to shit so I'm equally I don't have a sock issue Jeff I just have no hope at all at least you have a sock to pick it's just it's over I'm really sorry I don't have a sock issue, Jeff. I just have no hope at all. At least you have a sock to pick.

It's just, it's over. I'm really sorry, man. It's done. That's hard. Yeah. It's, you know, maybe we'll get out of the first round. We'll see. We'll see. I'm going to be dumb and have hope still, but sports suck.

Sports are terrible. Yeah. There's pain. sports suck sports are terrible yeah there's a pain do you think anyone will be ever be able to find your old light like if like what imagine a say there was a street light shining on you when when you're about to kick the child right and the light was you know bouncing off everything bouncing off you and just went out into space are you worried that if we ever could travel faster than light people will get ahead of that light and be able to see you almost doing it no i don't care have you ever done anything else outside that you would be scared of people seeing?

Almost everything I've done outside I'd be scared of people seeing. Yeah, I'm trying to think of like... There was one time there was a giant mossy rock and I spent a whole day taking the moss off because I convinced myself it was a Pokemon. I was like six. You convinced yourself a pokemon was a pokemon yeah i thought if i got all the moss out it would spawn a pokemon because it was like a i don't know i was six a six in a forest um one time i was given a really fancy yeah i was alone

i'd spent a lot of time in the woods alone uh I was given a really fancy rug that like a family friend traveled to India. And that was their gift back for me was this nice rug. And I took it into the woods and removed it immediately because I had a little wooden house. And I just put it out in the dirt. I mean, part of that might be on the family friends for giving a six year old a rug as a gift. I was probably like, you just wanted to play with it, you know? Yeah, I did. I really want.

I thought it would really bring the woods together. Really tie the woods together. My parents advised me against it and saying it would ruin it. And I was like, no, it's going to be great. And then immediately it was. Oh, you ran this by them? Yeah, i did oh well this is on them then well no they told me they're like hey you're gonna ruin this gift that you were given they were letting him learn a life lesson yeah i don't know what i learned i guess don't put rugs in the woods but i don't think

there haven't been a lot of opportunities. Do you think it's still there? I don't know because that has largely turned into houses. It was an undeveloped subdivision at the time, but I bet you that my little wood house is no longer there.

Oh, here's the video of somebody found and recovered your rug and cleaned it. Oh. A rug cleaning video is great. Oh, they can be so satisfying. Those are the best. I don't trust them, though. I think they're all fake.

Yeah. I wish I could believe. Everything's fake. What's fake about it? I think that they've made it as dirty as possible. Yeah, they're superfluously dirty. It's like, yeah. Yeah, it's like fake dirty, too.

It's like superficial. None of it's actually in there. It's kind of dirty, like it's like fake dirty too it's like superficial like none of it's like actually in there like it's kind of dirty but it's not that dirty get real it's like some of those old like tool restoration videos but they're all just backwards they're like people making it dirty but i'm getting close to just being a accepting what i see on the internet guy because it's almost certainly going to be fake but it like it doesn't change my life negatively if i just believed it was real there's no consequence for at least the stuff that i'm watching dude i'm working on just deciding that everything is real i'm i'm scared and going the other way yesterday on tiktok i got

served up two videos one was lebron james at a press conference post loss talking shit about d-low and it took me about three seconds to go oh this is ai this is fuck because ai is because his voice sounded weird and then i realized i was looking at ai and it's like that's fucking scary uh and then i saw a clip of Will Smith and Chris Rock having a discussion face-to-face about the slap. And just what they were saying didn't quite make sense. And then about five seconds in, I went, oh, fuck, this is AI too. Having both of those served up at me on the same day, I was like, we're like six months away from never being able to tell the truth ever again. I don't care about either of those things, though.

To once again argue my point. You both talked about that at the same time. I'm sorry, what was that? Yeah, yeah, I don't care. Gavin, quiet for a second. I'm trying a new approach instead of saying, you go. That obviously could be an extreme that is used terribly, but I don't care about either of the things you described.

I'm okay. Believing that LeBron James said whatever he said, and I'm okay. Believing that Chris Rock and Will Smith talked about the slap and it doesn't matter. It's not, it's not those two individuals in general. It's that some asshole in his spare time thought it would be funny to

make it and throw it up on the internet in two seconds. And it's happening with such frequency and such ease that i'm getting it served up multiple times in like one 10 minute session and it may not be shit that any of us care about but it will be it will be have you considered just not having opinions yeah i mean i it's all listen when i take my vow of silence what what is there to have an opinion on or who to tell you know how far would you go in life without ever expressing an opinion I think you just breeze through yeah I bet you could yeah there'd be no resistance to anything when you just breeze through life yeah like you're getting like like you're getting to the end it feels like this should have been conflict it feels like this

should have been like a jim carrey tony shalhoub movie in the early 2000s he's like the guy who can't make a decision yep you just be called on the fence yeah yeah exactly this is good this is very good somebody ai jim carrey and on the fenceence, please. On The Fence with Jim Carrey and Tony Shulman. I have, I mean, I don't ask questions, and it's an annoyance for me. You don't? I don't, no. I ask an alarming lack of questions. It's like the cat, the painting the

cat thing is a perfect example. I will just accept what is given to me, generally. Or I might doubt it, but I won't vocalize any questions about it. I have, there are things in my life that I think about all the time that I can get a resolution to, but I'm not going to ask the question for that resolution. So I just continue to wait. Are any of the questions for us that you could sort out right now?

Uh, no. Or do you want to hang on to any of the questions for the question draft? No, no, I don't. to hang on to any of the questions for the question draft? No. No, I don't. Well, some of them maybe actually. No. The primary one, no. That's why you weren't excited about my draft idea.

You're not a questions guy. He's not a questions guy. I started leaving in answers, man. Do you feel like there's a point where you stopped asking questions? Like, was it cold turkey? Was it a conscious decision? Or did it, like, was it cold Turkey? Was it a conscious decision or did it like taper off? Or has this been a consistent thing?

I think I, at some point in my life just decided if the person wants me to know the information, they will give me that information. And so I just, I'm not going to ask about anything. I've there are times where I should be. I've made the,

the conscious decision to stop correcting people when they're wrong about anything because you always just look like an asshole or smug and then it's funnier if they get to go through life being wrong you have any examples of that of like somebody you think about wow they were wrong and I didn't correct them and oh it's probably happens multiple times probably happened three or four times with you today. I can't think of anything specific. Did you correct me on the vanilla thing? Or was that only Eric? No, that's me.

That's why I can't relate to what the fuck Jeff is saying. That is the craziest shit I've ever heard. What do you mean? Like if somebody says this. You just don't. Yeah, cinnamon and vanilla is like the same thing. And you just let it go? Oh, I couldn't think of what a vanilla bean looked like in my head at the time,

and so I didn't know where to land on it, so I just got quiet. Right, but if you did, you would have just let that go. Gavin sounded really confident, and I've learned not to second-guess him. I don't think I sounded that confident. I don't think so either. You sounded pubert Adams confident, and I've been burned too many times. That's true.

Gavin has owned every car I've owned for the last, like, fucking 10 years. Feel free to just buy me out of the car thing, though, and then you can finally have your car again. Yeah, we'll just... No. I'll give you a great deal i like the i like the i like the arrangement we have going right now i'll trade you your car for your best indian rug

that now we're talking you're gonna end up with a you're gonna end up with a fucking rug though i'm gonna keep it indoors and we'll keep it nice i want to go on google street view to my old house to see what the where am i if i can see if it's oh you should definitely do that oh man i have a fucking dog problem i now have a dog problems again oh yeah what's your problem it's not shit related which i'm real happy about um but uh i've been you know up late lately just like stressed but it's a bit stressful and uh there comes a point in time when you know you put the dog to bed he sleeps in a crate obviously in the bedroom and uh he starts snoring at about 1 a.m every night. And if I'm not asleep before 1am, I can't go to sleep. It's like, it's, it's like, it's like, I have to thread it. You remember the episode of Always Sunny, where Charlie and Frank

had to get home and then eat cat food because it made him tired, and then get to sleep before all the cats showed up to meow about smelling the cat food, and they had like a perfect window to sleep. I have that now with the dog that I have to thread. And if I miss the window, I have to go sleep on the couch. I've slept on the couch like three times in the past week because I just lay at the ceiling

and listen to the dog. And I can't hit his crate or wake him up because if I wake him up, he'll start crying and be like, I gotta go to the bathroom. And then I'm outside with the dog going to the bathroom. And then he just comes back in and goes back to sleep and start snoring again instantly. So I've just made double the work for

myself. So my solution has just been I sleep on the sofa now most nights. Well, is there no way of rolling him over without waking him up? Absolutely not. He's going to get a surgery that'll help him breathe a little better later in like three months. So maybe that will change it. But as it is right now, I just have to be asleep by like 1245. And if I'm not, I shouldn't even bother going to the bedroom. And if he's out of the room in the crate, what happens then? Well, he's a baby. I don't want him to have to be out of his bedroom.

He's just a baby. I can go to bed earlier or sleep on the sofa. I don't know. He's just a baby. I can go to bed earlier or sleep on the sofa. I don't know. It's just a baby. I was going to ask, Gavin, do you have this problem with your cats at all? They have a second door. Yeah. A buffer door between their bedroom to help them sleep.

And fingerprint handles. Yeah, I've got all kinds of problems. But I lock them all out, though. To be fair, They're not babies Yeah he's just a baby He's only 7 months old Oh man my wood house is so gone It's so dead

What is it now House It's backyard and house It's actual house It is upgraded I have a life hack It's a gaming life hack i was playing sea of thieves i've been deep into sea of thieves recently you missed a great let's play

today gavin oh he did but unrelated to that just general it was the evening i was uh going around the map and there are these kind of beacons you can go to that indicate you have to fight some enemies and get a bunch of loot and so i was heading that way and there was a boat that was nearby already and i i went up and i was like yelling hey i'm friendly let's be in an alliance like i was using the in-game chat for this and they immediately attacked me and were dicks and sunk me and i was like those fucks and when you sink your boat respawn somewhere else on the map it happened to spawn at literally the closest island to them that it could possibly spawn at and there was a rowboat on that island so i decided i'm gonna paddle my way all the way over to their ship and then try to their powder kegs and stuff

or they're like bombs uh i'm gonna try to blow up their boat because if they sunk me i'm sure they have some stuff maybe i can get them back so i spend like 10 minutes rowing and i'm being all tactical i mean sneaky i'm rolling behind rocks i swim over to their boat and i start to climb the ladder onto their ship and one of them is just waiting with a gun pointed at me and they immediately shoot me i panic i run through the fort i'm zigzagging left and right i dive and i hide and then i just i i emote into the sand so they can't see me and i wait and i'm so nervous and i'm starting to like peek around a little bit i probably just hide for like 10 minutes and then i start moving around

and i decide i need to try to get closer to their ship so i move a little bit further into the the fort and there is a wooden kind of ramp walkway that i could hide under so i ran into that and then i put into my sleep emote like where are these guys and i'm looking around i have game clips of this a bunch of it i'm looking around and as I'm spitting my camera, I see their ship perfectly line up directly behind me. I can see it through the wooden

wall that has a bunch of like chips in it. I can see their boat and I'm like, oh no, they're parking literally where I'm hiding and they're going to run past me so many times setting up the ship because typically what people do is they'll run the chest to the beach beach put it down and then harpoon it onto their boat so it's faster and i had a view of the harpoon so i thought i can just lay here and i'll just watch the harpoon

i grabbed five flame grenades from the rowboat on the way there so i'm just waiting for them to get that gunpowder in and then i'm gonna throw a fire at them and just hope that that window appears but the harpoon is so quick i can't make out what they're pulling in or not and i decided this is the life hack i decided i'm going to look at my recent players and just see if i can get any intel on these guys and i had two people that it said i had met recently like within the last three minutes, I clicked one. There wasn't really any info on it,

but then I clicked the second one. And on Xbox, you are able to sync external profiles to your gamer tag. And this man had a discord account and a Twitch account and it had a link account tabs. And I went, Oh shit. So I clicked his discord and then immediately he was streaming.

He is live streaming this whole thing. So then I brought off of my computer and he was the guy that was loading the boat. So I now had eyes and ears on what this crew was doing. And I'm just laying, listening to the stream, watching, seeing what they're doing.

They're moving stuff around. They're talking about me a little bit. Uh, and it'd to be completely honest i found this guy to be kind of annoying he's doing voices didn't really like it wasn't having a great time but then like a movie i'm probably i've been waiting like 30 minutes at this point in the sand just watching the stream one of them says it's a crew of three one of the people in the crew says i need the commendations for for delivering gunpowder barrels should we load them up and there was one of them on the crew that was by far the best player and he wrote in the text chat no and then i went oh damn it but then the guy doubled down and said, come on, you know, I need them. You need them.

We could load the boat with them. And then the guy was like, okay, fine. You can do it. And like a movie, cause the guy that was streaming doesn't play Sea of Thieves a lot. So they were like explaining stuff to him. Like a movie, the guy that wanted to get the gunpowder barrel grabs the, it is like a gunpowder barrel of legends it's the most powerful gunpowder barrel in the game and he says to the guy yeah you see that the gunpowder barrel legends it's so effective it will instantly sink the biggest ship in the game if it goes off on it so i'm going to i'm going to put it in the crow's nest so hopefully nobody and while he says that i was like this is it this is my time so i come sprinting out i have my

grenades i start throwing them everywhere on the boat i see him climbing the ladder and then they're like oh he's here he's here he's throw fire and he jumps off the ship but he to try to prevent it from exploding but it ends up exploding perfectly level in the hands next to the boat. It destroys their ship. They have like 60 or 70 gems. They've been playing for a long time and they're just filled with loot and it immediately sinks.

I unfortunately didn't have a clip of throwing the grenades, but I have a clip of me being in their sinking boat. I kill the last guy, so now their boat's gone, but then they kill me however my boat is parked really close by so i can just ride on over and start harpooning all their shit into my boat but i'm listening to their stream and so as i'm listening i hear them go oh shit he's coming grab like they grabbed the four things that they viewed was most valuable

and then started rowboating away and we're like uh we hope hopefully he doesn't see me i'm like i'm just watching this it's great and they're like he's coming we gotta go we gotta find somewhere to go let's just go to this island what they don't know is i am so just freaked out and and like the adrenaline is flowing i get lost and i go the wrong way i end up in a storm i i go to the wrong outpost i am fucking this up in every way but they think that i'm like good and calculated because of what i've done uh they rowboat to this island and he's like this is what we're gonna do we're gonna bury our treasure so that way he won't know where it is and let's put it all on top of each other in a row so we know and it's easy for us but he won't and it's like this is so funny i can see i literally see where you're burying it i know what you're doing they're talking about hiding spots that i'd never find

it was great i eventually i fuck up so bad I had to do a figure eight. I get to where I sunk them and I took so long. All of the shit has just sunk to the sea. I didn't get any of the stuff that was on their boat, but neither the day. And so then I loaded up. They were about 80% of the way done unloading from the vault that it opened. I got the rest of it and I continue to watch the stream. They handled it very well, Losing all their stuff.

They lost more than I've ever lost in one time. And they handled it way better than I would have. One of them was like, ah, that's just how it goes. I'm done for the night. And then the two of them kept playing for a little bit. And then maybe like five minutes later, the guy that was streaming said,

I'm done for the night. Like, this is fun. I think I'm going to take a little break thank you for watching have a good night everybody i'm gonna i'm gonna set up i'm gonna redirect you to some other stream and so then i signed into my twitch account and i i wrote good night and then they they went andrew pantin you're the guy i killed i was like i've been watching the whole time that's how i got all my shit i've been plugged in i've been watching he he said oh man good play good job by you

and then there was a pause and then in a very dejected way he said can i at least get a follow for this because i was one of two people watching his stream. This is not a big streamer. This is a small. I obliged and I was hoping that he would post the VOD. It's not up. I don't think he saved it. I would rule if there was a way to watch that. Yeah, but I was hoping I could clip his realizing that I've been in his chat the entire time. That is how I was able to see.

It was just so cinematic. The guy being like convincing them to load this powerful bomb and being like this bomb is the most powerful bomb in the game hopefully they don't know where I'm gonna put it because I'm putting it here and the other guy saying no immediately and then finally caving yeah oh it was perfect and that is why I love that game because it it can beat you down like I lost 2.5 hours of progress because i got sunk and i didn't get anything for it and i was like this is there should be studies done on how this game has broken me because i should be outraged but i'm i don't i don't feel anymore about it but uh you

also have the opposite of that justice of getting revenge because i wanted to be an alliance i wanted to work together but no because they were they were greedy, we all lost everything. So my life hack is, maybe don't attach your Twitch account to your gamer profile. Or else you might get spied on by your enemies. Certainly don't do it while you're griefing. Yes.

So your life hack is don't stream? No, it's don't associate your Xbox gamer tag with the thing. Because if he was i'd have no way of knowing that he was a twitch streamer i'm never gonna just randomly assume it was because his profile literally led me to his switch account that i was able to do all this that was a all-time great face story andrew absolutely fantastic so how many clips of that do you have? I probably have like five or six. That'd be so cool to like cut your audio from this along with the clips like overlay.

Oh my God. That would be so great. It's like a short or something. It's most of them is me laying in that thing just peeking and freaking out as they run by me. And then the only combat I have is me being in their ship that's on fire that's filling with water. I unfortunately missed the part where I threw the grenades, but yeah, I definitely have clips for it.

So maybe... Adrenaline is high, right? It was so high, I was so embarrassed that they're like, we gotta go. This guy's coming after us. And I'm like, where the fuck am I? In a storm. I'm just so disoriented.

It was great. That is my life hack. Dude, that's a hell of a life hack. And this was a good episode. This is a fun episode, for sure. I'll see if I can... Maybe I'll... I don't know if anyone else has a thing they want to close on.

I'll see if I can find a clip. Jeff, what episode was this? This was episode 205, our 204th episode. Also known as... Our Pint Ultimate episode. Wait known as... Our pent-ultimate episode. Wait, is it pent? No. Is it pent or pen?

Pent-ultimate episode. Okay. Wow, that gap... Way to bring up a 15-year-old argument. Look, that's what the end of the company is all about. Yeah, yeah, it's true. It's true. Oh, God. End of the company for me is. Yeah, that's true. Oh, God.

The end of the company for me is taking over the store. You guys see those Vayner images? I thought that was so funny. Man, so all that stuff sold out pretty quick, huh? I didn't even see updates on it or anything. Oh, here, let me... Did you save the company? No.

No, I didn't. But I did take it over. Here, I'm going to post a link to the store the fact that this is what the rt store is going out on is ridiculous that's amazing that's absolutely amazing oh it was uh all the credit goes to the merch team that was their idea to like do a takeover thing and it was so funny you know let me say as as the as the the human individual who created our uh online merch uh presence built our first web store, managed the first four stores, was 100% in charge of all of it for the first seven years.

I couldn't be prouder of how that store ended. And getting to see that banner. Looking at that banner made me think about when I first discovered Red vs. Blue. And if I could go back to me in that moment of discovering the site for the first time and just showing that image of like this is gonna be the last thing that the store the website that you're on that you've just become obsessed with they're gonna sell a line with your name taking over the store and it's gonna be plungers now get like figure out how to get there

i would there's no way it's one of those things where if you did see that, if you saw the end from the past, you would never be able to get there. Impossible. Yeah. No chance. You'd just be like, when do I start working on this? I gotta drop out of high school immediately. I did.

I bought some thumbsticks. I think I'm going to send some, but I bought some just in case you didn't get them. So we can. Oh, yeah. I want some. I need some. I haven't had any of the most recent stuff. Well, you're definitely getting thumbsticks.

It's at the office. Oh, where though? Yeah, there's a bunch of stuff in our office. Oh, it's just there. Yeah, the mailroom, our office. Yeah, you were just there. There's boxes of shit. Yeah, there's boxes of stuff.

I mean, like boxes of stuff. Like boxes. Box boxes and boxes tony made a special box just for you like just go and pillage when i go back to get my stuff yes yeah all right all right chill out is it pillaging if the company's dead i don't think that's pillaging i think you're just i think it's just stuff i don't think it belongs to anybody. I guess you're pillaging from HBO. Or Warner, technically. Y'all believe that the fucking Mythbusters shut down the company? That's crazy.

Shark Week took us out. Thanks, Gavin. Thanks, Gavin. Oh, man. I hate to say it, but we should probably end this episode so that we can record the next episode. Hell yeah.

Oh, did you have your clip? Maybe I'll throw it in next one. I don't know. We're talking about it now. All right, well, we'll see you next time. Thanks for listening. One more episode. Bye.

Hold on, not so fast. Oh, shit! Oh, fast. Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Oh, shit! No! No way! Oh, shit! No! No! I had no idea! I had no

idea! Jeff! You got the fuck! This is a disaster. I thought it was gonna be the next episode. Motherfucker. You talk so much. I know. It was astonishingly.

Oh. Just can't even hear it. He's in the mask. I'm in the mask. I did it. He didn't sound different at all. He didn't sound different at. He didn't really talk.

All. Now I will say. So I will say I was thinking in this episode, I'm like, Nick is being so vocal. He's making so many like face jam style noises. But I thought it was just me going like, I didn't even, it didn't fucking clock. It is like he's wearing the mask. Motherfucker. I got you., it didn't fucking clock it. It's like he's wearing the mask. Motherfucker!

I got you. I did. And I actually, the first couple times I heard him speak up, I went, oh, I'm glad I can hear Nick. He sounds normal. I don't have to worry about that bit. Sounds 100%. God damn it! I did it! God, that's 2-0.

Nick takes 20-24. 20-25, though! Oh, good luck, son. We're coming back strong. Wow! Also, Nick, you have to give that mask back to Warner Brothers. Oh. I had to get this out of the way for that reason. Alright, seriously, though, let's stop.

Bye! Bye! All right. Seriously, though, let's stop. Bye. Bye. Hey, guys. Major League fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of Face. It's the final episode before the next one. Gavin shows off his special part. Someone's going to jail. What do you put in your mouth? How do you iron your pants?

What comes next? And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face.