Regulation Podcast - Bovril Chug // The Trojan Horse [134]

Episode Date: December 28, 2022

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about a Bovril Chug to start, beef brained, corndog update, Geoff's food game, trojan cucumbered, recommendations for Geoff, merch, Golden Gurpler, Andrew the Soda Guy, text chain scheming, beet pee, Andrew in Austin continued but not finished, and Geoff's Real Housewife Hulu problems. Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to [e-mail]  Sponsored by Better Help http://betterhelp.com/face Dad Grass http://dadgrass.com/face and Kato's Koffee http://katoskoffee.com and use code face20 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a Rooster Teeth production. Hello and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast. This is number 134, I believe, of season 5. My name is... What the fuck was that? He's gone straight into the bubble, has he? Oh! Oh!

Oh my god. Andrew, it's hot. You gotta take it slow. Oh, no, it's lukewarm. It's the Gerplar's plastic cup. I didn't want to melt the cup. I love the Gerplar's a plastic cup. I didn't want to melt the cup. I love the Gerplar too much. Oh, I got beef everywhere. Oh, man, Ever since Dodge the Bomb, the smell. The smell is so bad. Oh, Jesus. Okay. Golden Face.

How are we doing? I've got to be honest with you. I didn't expect that. Jeff Ramsey, Gavin Free, Andrew Panton. Here we are. I was thinking as you were introing, I was like, oh, this would be a nice bit. Nope, it's already happened. Never mind.

What a... How is the Bob role? Are you enjoying it? Oh, it's so... I hate it. It's terrible. Why did you agree to chug this again? I don't remember. Yeah, I was like to celebrate the launch of the Bob Roll, I'll chug whatever is the most

liked response within reason. The launch of the Bob Roll. The Gerpler. I'm... Listen. I'm not doing well. I'm not... Yeah, beef brain. I'm beef brained right now. I, uh... I like that being something that affects you like brain freeze. I brimleyed it a little bit.

I got the, I said the wrong thing. I'm on the ropes here. Okay. That's the first, the first use of a brimley in the wild. I love it. Oh man. Oh Jesus. So do you consider yourself a Bovril fan then?

No. What part of that would make you think I was a Bovril fan at all? I don't know, man. I think the Dodge the Bov really tainted it for me. I think in a different... If I would have just tried it normally as intended, I probably would enjoy it. You've had bog-standard lukewarm Bov?

Yeah. Ever since the Dodge the Bov, I just have been avoiding it at all costs I can't imagine lukewarm is the preferred temperature to enjoy you could have I mean I think the preferred way is to keep you warm on a cold day it's got to be steamy

piping hot when I I have so much beef all over me right now did you like spit up beef water oh I spit it everywhere. It's everywhere. Oh my god. This is

going to be fun to be in for an hour. Great. This is great. I'm an idiot. Oh, hey, real quick, while Andrew's doing that, I got a corn dog update. Emily had corn dogs for dinner last night. Oh. Oh. Emily had corn dogs for dinner last night.

Yeah. I had zero desire to eat corn dogs. Interesting. Didn't faze me at all. Didn't even, they looked, as a matter of fact,

I looked at it and I thought, like, what an inferior food, and I ordered a hot dog. And I had a, I had a Chicago dog instead. Yeah. That's awesome. That sounds good.

I would always go Chicago dog over corn dog. Yeah, I feel like if a nice hot dog was on the table i would definitely pick that over corn dog i feel like corn dog something to eat if you're in a car yeah when i would say when i was younger i thought the chili dog was like the top tier of all hot dogs but i've really turned a corner on the chicago dog i uh it is i really think that's the way to go. I don't know about you guys. I feel like I still need to eat it with my hand. Yeah.

And a chili dog sometimes is like a soggy knife and fork situation. 100%. 100%. Absolutely. Speaking of food, should we get into your exciting food game, Jeff? Yeah, Jeff dropped us off each a bag of food, I guess. Oh, yeah.

You've got some stuff. Yeah. So you were able to get everything on the list, right, Andrew? Yeah, I'm all good. Okay, good. I tried to pick... I spent way too much time

last night researching products that are for sale in Austin and Canada at large. And this isn't Dubox? This is just food? No, this is just food. This is a little food game I came up with.

Everybody should have received a bag of a bunch of crap. With the exception of Eric, I think you got a box because I ran out of grocery bags. So if everybody has their bags ready, I also asked you guys to prepare a pen and a piece of paper because we're going to write some stuff down.

Oh shit, do we? Let me do that. I'm just saying the unchose. Yeah, you go grab your pen and stuff. That's fine we can just fill i'm so excited about this game jeff i think it's once we open up and get into it it's gonna be a great time yeah to be uh to be uh for for clarity's sake uh andrew i i bounced some of the ideas off of you last night and you kind of helped me form it i had this this idea when, I don't remember what we were doing. It was, we were leaving, I guess work from the office day. And

for some reason, I stopped at a store and I saw this, this, these potato chips and they were, they just looked weird. And I tried them and they were, and it just got me trying to figure out how I could make like, cause I knew we have like we have these two episodes we're recording today and then we have to record one or two more next

week so that we can finish out the year. And so i was just trying to come up with bits and uh anyway i came up with this idea for like a gross food thing but then when i was trying to put it together last night it uh it made sense to be a kind of a different game and so i'll look yeah i don't know if gavin's still here i'll kind of explain it as we go i don't want to give up the give up the entirety of the game because I think you guys playing along and not quite understanding where we're going with it

is going to make it funnier in the end, if that makes sense. And hopefully for the audience, too. Also... Is Gavin in a penniless house? Like, we're...

It was the paper that was the struggle. Also, number one in there is also included. I bought you guys gifts in michigan when i went when i had my you know every year i take my fall apple trip to michigan and when i was there i got you guys some caramel i got you guys some like some hot cider mix and then i got you guys stickers from the yates uh cider mill so everybody should have those as well uh gavin you

got the best sticker uh i didn't realize after I bought them all that there was one that was clearly better than the other so you got the really good sticker and that's not because I'm playing favorites it's just that I've known you longer than everybody else so I just went with length of time I appreciate it so what we have is a bag except for Eric who has a

little box and in it are a bunch of different kinds of potato chips and like chippy type things. Now, I don't want to confuse this with the supplemental content we still need to do where I present American chip. The chip off, right? Yeah.

Yeah. This is actually going to be called, I'm going to call this the chip- Chipples-a. The chip- Chipples-a. What was your dumb- Chipples-a? Yeah. The chip- Chipples-a. The, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip of them. So first off, everybody pull out of the bag. We're going to do this in order. The first thing you'll see is unchos. Okay? And I would say...

Eric, sorry. Andrew, you might have munchos because I wasn't able to put painter's tape on yours, obviously, because you had to buy it yourself. Everybody else has unchos. I do. I always get paranoid when the price is on the product in print. Why? Really? Why? It's just such a weird thing to me.

I feel like it's convenient. I like it. That means that they're the same price in every store Why? Really? Why? It's just such a weird thing to me. I feel like it's convenient. I like it. That means that they're the same price in every store they're in? Yeah. I guess so. I'm opening them now. Okay. Let's open them.

Yeah, open up the Unshows. And I want everybody, before you do it though, I want you to, what we're going to do is you're going to open it up and you're going to take your first impressions.

Like, and you're going to, we're going to record two numbers. We're going to record two numbers. We're going to record from one to five, one being the shittiest, five being the best. And this will make sense later. Open it up, and I want you to have your pre-taste impression. Just write down a number. It could be three.

It could be whatever. And then you're going to eat a chip, and then after you eat a chip, write down your post-chip impression, and then just combine those two numbers. So if it's five and five, it's 10. If it's 3 and 4, it's 7. Hopefully you get the idea. Pre, post,

and first up is... So it's you open it up, before we take a bite, write down the number that we have the impression of, and then take a bite, and then give it a number again. Like freshness, appearance, whatever you guys think.

Just pre. Like, whatever metric you use to evaluate pre-eating. Out of what? Five. I got the knockoff brand, Muncho. So I'm going to, it's a lower score already. Yeah. Because I have a lesser quality.

I'm pre-ing this a four. Okay. They don't have Unchos in Canada, unfortunately. Okay. And then everybody, Nick and Eric, go ahead and write yours down too. And then everybody take a bite from the chips and then write down your post score. Okay.

I appreciate the audience's patience in this. I know it doesn't quite make sense yet, but I think it'll be funny. Oh, dear. That's way saltier than I was expecting. When we put it all together. Interesting. Salty.

Okay. That's gone to a two for post. I'm going to say, yeah, I'm going to, I'll agree that two two oh wow okay once everybody has recorded their score let me know and we'll move on i'm good i'm ready to move on and now i'm gonna now oh by the way i will say there are some uh uh two things of um and i i apologize i had you by these two andrew there are two things of chocolate i didn't get that part of the game finished, so just hold on to those.

Those will be for the future. I threw them in anyway just because I figured we'll get to it at some point. So what we have here is we have Terra Sweet and Beet Potato Chips. It's like sweet potatoes and beets. That was what started this whole thing. We have Blue Fuego or Blue Fire Takis,

Dill Pickle Kettle Crinkle Cut potato chips, Muddy Buddies, which I don't think Gavin or... I think it's a pretty American thing. I've never heard of a Muddy Buddy. I don't think you guys have heard of Muddy Buddies. I'm kind of excited to hear your impressions on those. And then Pork Rinds, Pineapple and Ancho Chili.

So let's open up the Bagaterra Sweet and Beat potato chips next, and then write down your first impression. Oh, gosh. Oh, dear. What is that for? I mean, the pre is not great.

What does that mean? Because they're beet potato chips? Did you put a cucumber in this? Or is this just... I got you, you son of a bitch! Oh my... You've been cucumbered! You've been cucumbered! You didn't even see it!

It snuck right in under the radar! You got Trojan horsed with a cucumber. You fool. You fool, Gavin. Is this whole thing just for me? Are you shitting me? It's just you. You got a bunch of cucumbers in there, buddy.

Bunch of cucumbers. How did you do that? You didn't even see it. What do we have here, Gavin? The unshells were on MacGuffin to get your... They were just bog-standard potato chips to get a baseline to trick you. Every other...

Open up the talkies. Open up the kettle. Open up the money buddies. Open up the pork rinds. In them, you will find pieces of one of the biggest cucumbers on Earth. You are shitting me. I just got a whiff of it.

And then I put my hand in and it was wet. Are you serious? This has been in the works for weeks. Weeks. Open up the Takis. Hold on. Hey, Gavin. Myself and Nick received no such box

nor bag of any of these chips. It's just me eating chips on my own? Yes. Yeah. It was all a cover to get cucumbers on your doorstep without you knowing and to bring them in. We recorded an entire

episode of F*** Face with cucumber next to you and you didn't even know. Yeah. Yeah. That entire episode of 133, you were cucumber adjacent the entire time. It was sealed. Yeah. Yeah.

So they're all sealed. Open up. I was wondering why when I picked up each bag, the bottom felt like cold and wet. And I was like, maybe it's just like the flavors it like registered but not enough for me to think anything strange was going on the bottom of the bag is like damp on each one

Andrew I'll let you this is your this was your masterminded you glued them shut no no no this is way more complicated you have no idea gavin the journey that this has been there has been failure at every turn i came up with this a few weeks ago shortly after we did i was thinking like how can i how can i get something on your doorstep without you knowing and at first i was thinking like physically how could i do it

because you've the ring camera, it's going to be difficult. And then I thought, oh, I can Trojan horse you. I'm going to put it in something that you're not expecting. That's great. You just,

uh, give it a shirt. Cucumbers. Sneakily in there. So originally I was, I wanted to do it in a thing of trading cards. You okay? I'm just opening each bag.

These ones are blue. Yeah. It's in all of them. So I was going to do this and I wanted to do it in Mr. Bean trading cards and have you open the packs and every pack would have a slice of cucumber nestled in.

And then Jeff brought up, oh, what if we just do it with like chips instead? Because that is easier. It makes sense with the thing. And what's even better is Jeff naturally just do it with like chips instead, because that is easier. It makes sense with the thing. And what's even better is Jeff naturally just came up with the double salted licorice. Like it was a whole part of the show

and that would be the perfect vessel because you're not expecting anything. It makes sense for you to get it, to have it. So we did the office day. And as soon as we finished recording the office day, I tweeted to Jeff, I bought him a bag resealer off of amazon i said i'm so excited for you to put the cucumber in the licorice and we're like we're gonna it's

gonna arrive tomorrow we can get this going to which jeff replied oh no i gave gavin the bag of licorice jeff completely forgot about our entire plan of getting the liquor, using the licorice to get to you. So we had to pivot on the fly. And that whole text conversation you were in was all a ruse of us being like, have you tried these chips? I actually love those chips. Those are delicious.

They're fucking great. The Terra Nova. I'm a fan. They're really tasty. I can't believe the level of deception. So, so then you want to take this because this is where it escalates because my bag resealer kept getting delayed and it wasn't getting to Jeff on time.

You can take this over from this point, Jeff. Okay, so I was waiting on receiving this tool called a bag resealer that allows you to open up like a bag of potato chips and then reseal it, right? Like it heats it shut. And it was out for delivery last night. I had the chips. I was ready to go.

Actually, I just had those Terra chips, and I was going to try to fit it all in that. And then at 10 p.m., Andrew texted me, and he was like, I don't think the resealer's going. It's been shipped. It didn't make it to you today. It got sent back to the warehouse.

It'll be out tomorrow for delivery. What are we going to do? And so I hit Google and I started reading and I found out that you can... Gavin just keeps putting photos from the cucumbers. So I saw on YouTube that you can use like a hair straightener, like a curling iron, or like a flat iron is what it's called. use a hair straightener, like a curling iron, or like a flat iron is what it's called, a flat iron to reseal a bag of chips. So I went and grabbed Emily's flat iron. By the way, Emily, I'm sorry. I cleaned it. I promise. Things got a little dicey for a moment, but I fixed it. And I started, I took that pair of that bag of Terra chips, I carefully cut it open and then I tried to reseal it to see if it could be done.

And it worked kind of. And so but I did melt some some of the bag and stuff and it wasn't perfect. And but then Emily texted me and she was like, I was like, hey, just let me know ahead of time. I might have ruined your thing. And she was like, whoa, whoa, whoa. don't you have, because I have a sous vide, and she was like, don't you have that thing that sucks the air out and then seals it to put steaks and stuff in? And I was like, oh my god, I do.

You don't have to use the air suck thing. You can just use the seal. And so I tried that on a bag of chips, and it worked. And I was like, oh my god, this is amazing. It looked professional. So then I started cutting up the cucumber and as i started to dump it into the bag of of uh beet chips it made the bag of potato chips weigh like 80 pounds and i was like there's fucking there's no way i'm gonna hand him a 27 pound bag of potato chips and have him not you know have him uh uh fall for that so what i did was i

next to me for like two hours i sliced up i sliced up all the cucumbers as thin as i could with a mandolin which which broke and didn't work or the dam so i ended up just kind of half-assing that and then i put them all in the oven on the lowest setting for like a half an hour to try to evaporate all the water because I figured most of the cucumbers water weight, right? So then I got them kind of, I got them drier and then I tried to soak and press all the water out to get them as light as possible. Then I realized that still wasn't light enough. So I ran to the store and I bought as many weird kind of potato chips as I could find.

All the, all that other stuff I bought like two hours ago. I bought it an hour before I went to your house. And I brought it back and then I carefully opened them all up. By the way, I filmed all of this on my phone for you guys. And I filmed it so the angles are terrible. Unusable. Anyway, so I filmed

all this and then I got all the potato chip bags home. I opened them all up. I evenly split out the cucumber into the different bags. We sealed them all stuck them in a bag was still worried that you weren't going to fall for it. So then I added in the gift of the shit from the apple orchard because I've been

meaning to give that to you guys for months as like a combo thing to try to make it all make sense and then I told and then I got on Slack and I said this is the plan for today I need to make sure everybody has the same address that they did last time I went to your houses and then Nick was like oh no I moved

and pretended to give me his new address all as subterfuge to further convince Gavin that this was a real event everything surrounding this seemed so legit I can't believe it I can't believe it Jeff and i were on a discord call earlier today yeah jeff was so giddy showing me like all of the bags he had and like the it was great yeah i can't

wait to see the video i did a video call with andrew to show him the whole process and how it worked and all because i wanted you know so unfortunately this is his this is andrew's prank obviously and i'm just i'm just his proxy agent and so he clearly gave you the the cucumber while he was in austin right obviously i also did one one dumb thing i went to the store and i bought uh when i bought the cucumbers i bought three uh and as i'm checking out uh actually as i've checked out and i'm walking to my car, Andrew texts me and goes, hey, be sure to get the smallest cucumber they have. It'll be easier to hide.

And I went, oh, fuck. I bought the three biggest cucumbers in the store. I don't know why. Yeah, I don't know why you did that either. A big cucumber is funnier. I asked if you'd put cucumbers in this because they look like really fancy chips. I was like, oh, there's like other veg in here.

I really only said that as a joke. And then you were like, yeah, take it. Take the cucumbers. I was like, oh my God. Also, the two things of chocolate, they were there to cover a chocolate bar that didn't work. I took like a gross kind of chocolate and I got a mandolin and I shaved it down until it was really thin, except

it broke in half, so I had to super glue it back together. When they hide like a flask in a bible or a gun or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what I did was I layered the top of the chocolate bar with cucumber and then sealed it back up, but when I went to go put it in your bag,

it had leaked through and it was very clearly tampered with. So I had to just pivot and throw that away. Luckily, that was from a different cucumber. So good. I had cucumbers in my hands without realizing. Yeah, dude. Lots of them.

Oh my god. So many. By the way, these are my final scores. Jeff, when you showed me the cucumber you bought, it looked like the mallet that a caveman would have in a cartoon. I've never seen a bigger cucumber in my life. It was massive.

Oh, that was so good. Nick said he wasn't sure how far this bit was going, so he was writing down fake numbers. Like if I called for the scores, it would be legit. I have been on pins and needles all fucking day for this moment. Just praying you would fall for it. The Trojan crisps. Trojan crisps. So, Trojan crisps.

Dirty. So it's what? It's 1-0. I'm up. That's 1-0. I'm on the scoreboard. Yep. I'm ready. Prepared. Don't have my paintball gun anymore, but I got things set up. I should be irritated. I should be frustrated. I'm so impressed. I just can't believe it.

And I should just go with my gut. There were a few tiny little things that just registered as like, oh, that's a bit. And I just can't believe it. And I should just go with my gut. There were a few tiny little things that just registered as like, oh, that's a bit. And I just didn't follow through. Oh, what were they? What were the things that you're like, huh? Well, the first thing that we were doing a crisped bit that somehow isn't the other crisps thing we're doing.

I was like, how is this suddenly snuck in? But it didn't register. I didn't want to kill a bit or anything. So I was like, okay, we're doing this. And then the cold, wet feel of the bags just registered a little hint of like, oh, that feels a bit weird, but I guess I've never had these chips

before. I'd also like to point out... It stinks in here, by the way. Oh, no. Gavin, I am an independent agent. I am not aligned with Andrew. I am a free agent available for anybody.

I'm just as willing to help you get back at Andrew or Eric. What's your availability towards the end of the month? I'll be available. I'm around. He's a free agent to help you get back at Andrew, the guy we can't go visit, get to in any way, and also he bought a paintball gun for protection. I returned it.

I returned it. Yeah. On the record, return the paintball gun. I would just also like to say, even though Jeff is applying a service to you, I'd highly recommend Jeff, Kevin. Even though it's against me. Great service. Really? Five stars.

Really keen? Fantastic. Fun to work with. Just all around. Great, great use of service. Did you by any chance pour an extra bucket of salt into these unchos? Or is that what they taste like? No, that's just what they taste like.

The unchos weren't opened or tampered with in any way. They were meant... I just wanted to get a little bit into the joke before the reveal. They were designed for that. And as a hilarious callback to the alphabet contest. Oh, man. That couldn't have gone better. The way that we fell into this being like six bags of chips

was originally just going to be the bag of licorice. All of the blunders, I feel, just made it better, ultimately. It added, we had to work so much harder to try to sell the deception that was going to occur. I still don't have the bag resealer that Andrew bought me. It should, and actually, it said it was delivered. Oh, it probably was delivered while we were recording. That was going to occur. I still don't have the bag resealer. That Andrew bought me. It said it was delivered. It was delivered while we were recording.

Absolutely. It's probably outside your door right now. But your thing was so much better. I love that. I didn't know you had one of those. It's so much more convenient to use. Than the little resealer. It worked like a charm too. It worked great.

Gavin never noticed the seal. It was the wetness. It worked. It worked like a charm too. It worked great. Gavin never noticed the seal. It was the wetness. It was the cold and the wetness that kind of lured him. There was nothing visually about it, it sounds like, that made you suspicious, Gavin, that they were tampered with. Yeah, and they opened pretty easily, but I didn't really think anything

of that either. There you go. That was flawless from beginning to end. Kevin, I hate tricking you. I'm sorry, but I had to. So you weren't driving around.

You just drove to me and then went home. I sent a text and said like, all right, I'm going to go out and drive to everybody's house now and make the rounds.

And then I just sat and played Jim's War for a minute until I thought enough time had passed. And then I just drove to your house and back. Yeah. So how giddy were you for the entire last recording? Were you just so excited? Oh, it was amazing. I thought we'd get to it pretty fast.

And then the episode just kept going and going. And then I thought, it's even funnier if we don't get to it are there some in the dipped banana bites? no they're a MacGuffin too okay only because I couldn't figure out how to open and reseal that without you seeing it I was gonna say because that's like a tear open so yeah I couldn't do it

that's yep I was like that wouldn't work I about halfway through the last episode I realized this is so much funnier if you would record an entire episode without knowing. So I just tried to stretch the cooking thing as long as I could to make sure that we would wrap up and go to the next one.

You guys are getting really good at this. I do want to point out that me and Nick were only just asked to play along. Had no idea what was happening or why that it was a cucumber involvement. It was just Jeff going, hey, pretend like you got this. And it was me and Nick going, you got it. No hesitation. No idea why.

Yeah, I looped them in with as little information as possible an hour before the podcast started and just said cone of silence i need you guys to just go along with this i'm telling pretend that you got this bag and then i even said like i even like as i'm trying to i'm trying to do like the quentin tarantino thing in reservoir dogs where you make the lie so believable right uh like he's talking about pissing with the drug dog so i was like eric i didn't have a bag for you so i had to use a box like i was just like throwing out bullshit details that make no sense i think yeah when you go back and listen i think there's going to be like a lot of little suggestions from us of like what's going to come in our excitement of it i i literally huffed the bag it smelled weird and then i looked at the cucumbers

oh these are interesting oh my god i'm so slow on the uptake oh they're and this went through so many iterations too like there's gonna be a real sneaky i thought about you having something for a while and then doing a fake cucumber thing where i got caught so you would not expect that you already had the cucumber in your possession. There were layers. This went through a lot of iterations of planning. I was also terrified you would answer the door and I wouldn't be able to keep a straight face. So I was really hoping

that I wouldn't run into you when I dropped off the bag. Yeah, you wouldn't have enough time. I was bouncing off the walls with excitement there would have been no way to hide it was there you think there's a glee

in just your appearance Jeff when leaving it at the door do you think there's a visual joy that can be you should evaluate that footage tell if Jeff seems like happier than normal I blew him a kiss

whenever he drops something off. I blew him a kiss on the camera. Oh, okay. All right, Gavin Ball's in your court, buddy. And I'm back on the market, just for the record. Yeah. Contract has ended.

Highly recommend. I'm going to be hiring, I think. It stinks of like soggy salt, cucumber, and like Vancouver child kicker beer mat. Rug. What's your oxygen level right now? Is that okay?

Whatever your scan was before? Yeah. How are you doing with that? Oh, dear. That might have helped us, actually. It could have. Yeah, maybe that's some of the freshness of the cucumber. It might have affected my intelligence. us, actually. It could have. Yeah, maybe that's sort of affected my intelligence. Oh, no.

Is that lethal? Is that high? Is that a lethal amount? That's pretty high. It's 300 outside. Oh, no. You gotta get a plant or something. Did you also pump CO2 into my room

before you delivered it? No. I will say that's the one thing I was bummed about is the bags deflate when you open them, and I wish that I'd had compressed air or something that I could have tried to shoot into it to puff it back up. That'll be how I improve next time.

Yeah. Maybe like a bike pump? I don't know. Yeah. Just like a can of compressed air. Just be like, I could, I could seal it up 99% of the way.

Just have the little thing, the little tube in there and just like hit it and then seal it. I bet. Oh man. I thought, I was worried with the whole,

you know, me taking the photos in Austin with the cucumber. I thought you'd be on high alert, Gavin. So I was worried about that as well. No. I just never for a second expected...

That was so good. My guard was fully down. I wasn't suspicious at all. Oh, man. And would you say that now your guard's gonna be higher? Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Because I'm in the lead. I've secured it.

We don't have long to go. Plus, we we said I don't remember if this was in the episode or not Or if this is something we talked about later any failed attempt you cannot try again until 10 days later So you're almost running up to a point where you can only get one attempt. We're getting close Let's just sneak in an attempt right before Christmas Almost already done it Unless he's already done it. Unless he's already done it. Have you checked your door recently? No, I haven't.

Not going to, because there's nothing there. Not worried about it. 0% chance. I'm going to let everybody know right now, if you send me anything, Jeff, Gavin, for Christmas, it is not entering my home until after the holidays. Everything, I'm viewing every item as a potential cucumber.

I'm not doing cucumbers for you, am I? These are Monopoly money. No, you're doing Monopoly money. You're right, yeah. I forgot it wasn't a cucumber. It was Monopoly money. I'm not, oh, fuck, I can't do anything about that, can I? Because you're putting it to the door.

There's no stealth. Oh, fuck. Yeah, it's just going to be on your door. It's going to be screwed to your door. Yeah. What were you going to do with the paintball gun? Were you going to shoot the cucumber away? No, I can see the entire lead to my

door from a balcony on my room, and I was going to shoot down at him so I wouldn't have to chase him. Yeah. But then I felt bad about it, so I returned it. So I wouldn't have to chase him. Yeah. But then I felt bad about it.

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gerping forward, what to do. I wanted to... I proposed an idea to... We should talk about Andrew, I believe. I can't remember who I talked to anymore. Yeah, we're talking. Right, right.

I wanted to see what you guys thought about this. So first off, a lot of the reason we do the limited merch is because uh we can't hold stuff in inventory forever uh and it's uh it's expensive to do that um and so we try to do limited runs where we sell out everybody gets one and then we move on to the next thing. I do think a Gerpler, upon reflection, and especially how much I use it now, it's become like my primary means of chug is through the Gerpler. And I don't want people to be deprived of the opportunity to get a Gerpler. So I feel like that should be maybe an evergreen product that we always have in store in some

way. But because we've already released them, if we're going to put out another version, I'd like to make in store in some way but because we've already released them if we're going to put out another version i'd like to make them different in some way uh and so we talked about doing a blind box this is a idea andrew and i came up with we talked about doing maybe blind box gerblers where you could get either a green one or a purple one or maybe some other color uh and it's just like random you don't know what you get till you open it up but also what if there were 10 golden gerblers that are randomly inserted uh because i don't know if you know that but like when you go sometimes when you go to pizza hut some it's usually a red glass sometimes it's clear sometimes it's kind of like a gold color like if we could

get and release 10 golden gerblers into the wild. Super rare, super random. If we made like a thousand Gerblers there would be 10. So it'd be very rare. It'd be very low chances of you getting one. But if you drew a golden Gerbler, I was thinking it would be really fun if we included in the bottom of the Gerbler, just like in the glass.

Factory tour? Factory tour? That was sort of the thought. Yeah, the Charlie, the golden ticket is definitely an inspiration for that. I referred to it as the Wu-Tang album that Martin Shkreli bought, but what if it includes, in the golden GURP, a little USB drive that has a special

like 10 minute episode of F*** Face that only exists on that drive, and you can only get it by getting the golden GURPLER. I like the idea. that's such a ridiculously custom piece of content yeah and then it's like if the people who get it want to upload it that's fine it's their it's their content they can do whatever the fuck they want to whether they can release it if they want to and share it with the world or they can hold on to it and you got like a

one in ten chance of like if somebody gets it uh you know that you got 10 options or 10 opportunities for people to release it if they want to and then it would be like non-canon we could it could just even be about that it could be about who knows we could come up with something we could even do like a little scripted thing or whatever but it would just be like a special treat if you draw the golden gerbler you get it with it a special episode of should be on cassette or something could be could be we could do eight track cassette whatever Should it be on cassette or something? Could be.

Could be. We could do 8-track, cassette, whatever. Golden cup. It's going to be so stupid. I just want them available at all times because I would love to replace every cup I have with the Gerbler. I love it so much. As you said, Jeff, it has become my primary cup. Yeah.

It's fantastic. I think we should do the soda chug from them. Yeah, definitely. we need to do that as well maybe next time we do it this time if you want I mean yeah you got already well I do but I don't I have a can of

soda you have to have a can of soda in your house I don't know if I do come on I might I'll look maybe one second Eric do you have one do I have a can of soda or a gopil I don't think I have a go you have one? Do I have a can of soda? Or a Gerpler? I don't think I have a Gerpler here, but I do have a can of soda.

Well, I mean, we've done that. All right. Sorry, man. Did you participate last time? Yeah. Yeah. Everyone did. Everybody did. Yeah, okay.

So there's no reason to do that again. Yeah. Right. No, I don't. Yeah yeah i don't i don't think i have any soda right now that's mind blowing i'll get one why am i a soda guy to you oh yeah big time yeah i mean really yeah you seem like a soda guy to me totally fascinating i don't i'm looking at an empty can of coke on my desk from last night. Okay, so you are a soda guy. Yeah, I guess I am.

Yeah, I enjoy. I'd say I'm more a beverage guy than a soda guy. We all said you were a soda guy and you were like so taken back by it. And now it's like, oh, yeah, I'm a soda guy. What? Well, that I would have always have a soda on hand is what was. You've got one. I don't think that's true.

On a different floor. And you know it. No, I don't. I know you don well. You've got one. I don't think that's true on a different floor And you know it No, I don't know you don't like changing floors No, I don't so that I got that empty coke can that was the last soda in your house last night That was the last missed it by 12 hours We missed it by 12 hours, and I'm an idiot because I talked about doing it prior to I should have drank that I should have saved it We I mean we could start with Jeff today and each do one in a different episode Like I can do them when I get my go that's a fun I you think so but then it's like we're

dragging I don't want it to be like the icy hot thing or we do it like four times like I'd rather like the soda chug that we did for time I don't think we need eight of these like I'd rather sync up if that's that's all right so we'll all go vision does everybody have access to a gurp lure that they can have I'd rather sync up if that's okay. That's fair. All right. So we'll all... He's got a vision. Does everybody have access to a Gerbler that they can have available next time? I don't have one. What are you talking about? How do you not have one?

You're leading this. You don't have a Gerbler. No, I've never... What are you saying? I don't have any of the recent stuff. Dude, go to work and get your mail. It's at the office waiting for you. I guarantee you it's i assure you

it's not it has to be after every podcast i go in there there's nothing do you not have a switch fuck this i do but it's because you put it in my hand and give it to me oh oh that's right i did okay with a bunch of licorice i feel like we went through this in the past where you're like ah nothing nowhere the mail i never get it anywhere and then eric brought you like 25 bags of face merch yeah i think we've done this yeah it's there cool this is it's just like andrew who is not a soda guy but has a soda gavin doesn't get any of the merch but he gets all the merch all right look i haven't got any merch since that big hole are you saying there's another big pile of Of course. What do you mean? Where is it, though? Because I go in there every week. Walk in, look to the right, find your name.

It's written out. There's nothing by my name. Telling you. Dude, I don't even... Mine's worse. I get a notification from Slack every time I get a piece of mail addressed to me, and then I go into that room,

and there is no Jeff section. There's a F***face section where I get a piece of mail addressed to me. And then I go into that room and there is no Jeff section. There's a section where I get all the face stuff and I leave it there until we're going to do a break shit or whatever, and then we grab it all. But the Jeff's, the Jeff section doesn't exist.

And I've never seen the Jeff mail. I don't know where it goes, but it doesn't go to me. Maybe they're keeping our stuff aside somewhere. I've I'm looking at the text conversation that you that we all had on Tuesday night. Yeah.

Or Tuesday afternoon. It's so long. Just to set up doing the chip thing. It starts with you saying are either of you Beats guys? So you could specifically talk about those Terra chips. Yeah. What was the text conversation right before that? Why don't you run through it? I mean, we could all play our parts.

Okay. Well, I'll just say before you even get that or text between Jeff and I figuring out like what chips sound weird that you wouldn't have had do you want to read your messages out and then we'll read the other one sure we can do that let me pull up my phone

people listening just remember all of this is bollocks yeah this was just to fuck with you can't believe it I'm gonna start here my paranoia really dipped it's crazy how Yeah, this was just to fuck with you. Can't believe it. I'm going to start here. My paranoia really dipped. It's crazy how just time will do that.

I'm going to start here. The resealer arrives at your place tomorrow. We get hit Gavin with his cucumber and licorice bag on Thursday. Okay, okay, okay, yeah, yeah. I go, yeah, dude. Oh, shit. I'm so excited. I gave it to him today.

Eric told me to. Ah, I forgot. What? Why? How? Jeff? Ha, ha, dude. Oh, shit. I'm so excited. I gave it to him today. Eric told me to. Ah, I forgot. What? Why? How? Jeff. I'm so dumb. I was distracted with the fireplace talk.

Just this is just a wrinkle. So now and just for context to this comment, we almost did the licorice thing on the office day and I kept being like, no, later, later. We'll do it later. We'll do it later. Because that was the whole that was going to be the vessel. I like, no, later, later. We'll do it later. We'll do it later because that was the whole that was going to be the vessel. I said, that's why I kept pushing it to do it later. And I went, yeah, that makes sense. You were like, oh, it should be in an episode.

It should be in an episode. Whenever you have a strong opinion, I should be suspicious. Hey, why don't you want to chug soda today? Oh, that's a good point. Why don't you? Andrew said, that's so funny. And I said, I'm so mad at myself.

What is another candy or chip? And I said, there are so many bits we have in the air to remember at all times. This could be a real easy fix. And I said, we'll be together again for the fireplace. I could sneak something into his camera bag. No, it has to be on his porch. Do you have a cucumber? And I said, I have an idea. no it has to be on his porch do you have a cucumber and I said I have an idea

I'm gonna go buy one now well getting one maybe pop into the chipper candy aisle look for something disgusting doing so oh one other thing uh I gave everyone

apple related gifts in Michigan I can drop those off on his door too and pretend it's a part of the the whole deal then I could say in our group text I found something that

might be worse than the licorice and you could be like I'm literally grocery shopping right now I could say in our group text, I found something that might be worse than the licorice. And you could be like, I'm literally grocery shopping right now. I'll pick one up for you, Gavin. And then I sent him a picture of cucumbers and then the banana thing and then the terror chips.

I like Jeff sent me a photo of cucumbers and I replied, I'd go with the smallest, which he completely ignored. I just missed it. Yeah, I missed it. And you said the problem is the seal I don't think we can fake a resealable bag yeah

that's sort of the heart of it and then we could go back to now our group text yeah and then the group text that's gonna take forever to scroll through I don't know if this is this entertaining to go through these is this well I think it puts out the extent of bullshit that you've laid down like the tracks of shite yeah and then yeah this was just the three of us

didn't have eric or nick in it at all which is why they didn't know about it uh it starts with andrew's uh either of you beats guys yeah are either of you beats guys no when you said no i was so excited gavin that's like fuck yeah I'm still waiting for mine to load or either of you just said I love beets I said I just had the worst chip of my life and I know I haven't tried the licorice but you guys got to try this uh and I said I love beets I had beets oh no I see yeah I said are they like potato chips meanwhile I had already bought them yeah it's like sliced dried beet with seasoning. And I said, have you guys ever eaten

enough beets to turn your pee red? No, but I didn't expect more pee research. And I said, we should have a red pee off someday, which I still agree with. I see how red we can make our pee by eating a bunch of beets. I still have the same issue of I don't know how we track that and measure it and share it.

I don't want to see your pee though. Well, it looks like red blood. It won't look like that makes it better. I have a clean toilet. It'll be fine. No, I'd rather not see your blood or pee. And then I pulled a screw grab of the chip that just showed me and I said it's these

fucking things. I like other Terra chips, but those are absolute garbage. I love all Terra chips. They're all great. And I said, I'll try to grab some later today. I got to go. Yeah, Millie was six. I said, I got to go to the store to get her some chicken soup anyway. You said sounds good. I said, let me know if anyone has any other gross foods to get.

I'm trying to get Gavin engaged in the conversation. Because I figure when he starts responding, we'll have him on the hook. And then we can burrow in. You just talked for ages. And my phone was going apeshit and I just looked at it like right at the end of the conversation.

So I'm like fishing and I said like, what do you guys think the strongest flavors are? Probably cheese. And then we had this whole conversation about garlic and cheese

and versatile foods. This goes on for a while. Buffalo sauce and then I said anchovy. Then you fucking, you showed, and then I said anchovy? Then you fucking showed up, and then it was gone. I said olives are first.

And then we had a whole conversation about... It was a whole thing. Then I pivoted. My goal was to keep it going in different directions so it didn't feel too focused. So, like, I got off on muffaletta sandwiches for a while, which you guys have never had, but they're fucking delicious by the way I've had one like olives yeah they're amazing

fuck you that was so genuine yeah and then that went on for a long long time you said the muffaletta is the worst sandwich on the planet I was offended and then you ate cucumbers fantastic cucumbers on my

porch in your hands in your you ate cucumbers. Fantastic. Cucumbers on my porch. In your hands. In your room right now. You carried them up. On my lap. On your lap. Sitting there. Cold. Didn't even know. And slightly damp against my lap. That's interesting because the problem I had earlier

was that the bags got real hot because I had put the, because I cooked them in the oven for like 30 minutes And I thought oh my God these bags are hot I'm glad they cooled down Nothing suspicious about these hot bag of chips I could just imagine the steam coming off of them what do you? That was great.

Thank you so much for your help, Jeff. What a fantastic series of events. Yeah, that turned out really well. That was the exact opposite of a salad cream, for sure. Couldn't have been further from salad cream. 100%. I don't know what the opposite of a salad cream is. Have we ever determined that? No, I don't think so.

We can add. Maybe that's what this is. You chipped it. You chipped it? I think we could have work. We'll come up with something. We'll workshop it, yeah. Absolutely.

What else you guys got going on? Not much. I'm on the fence about going into the process of the cucumber photos, but I don't know if I should wait to go into detail on that whole saga. It's kind of nice because the cucumber...

There might be a last act. Maybe I should save it. Should I save it or should I go into it? I don't know. I think there's going to be a last act if Gavin's going to try to enact revenge on you. I mean, you... It seems that you both don't think I was in Austin. Like, definitively. You both strongly believe that. Don't say both. I think there's four of us here that don't think I was in Austin. Like definitively, you both strongly believe that.

Don't say both. I think there's four of us here that don't think you were in Austin. Nobody here thinks I was in Austin? The forensics were done. None of you? Just to verify, nobody thinks I was in Austin? Yeah. So then how would I have gotten the photos?

What would be the... I don't understand. Like you're the only person that can hold up a cucumber what would be the what would the friend where did they don't understand like what like like you're the only person that can hold up a cucumber at the austin sign like i okay so i was just so the thing would be that i wasn't there but i had somebody in my place yeah no yeah the way that jeff are you joking i'm asking. This has been a very angry year for Eric. This is insane. Because it is-

Just the last couple of weeks. Because it's so- This is like so insulting to our intelligence. Well, no, I'm just asking. I like the fact that Eric clearly hasn't known Andrew for as long as we have, so we just expect this to- Wild. Just asking.

Just asking. Oh, so yeah. Oh, how do you guys think I did this he's just curious and he's just gonna dump something in the chat just let him do it no I don't have anything to drop in the chat

oh I was just trying to decide I really thought you were keying up I thought someone was coming what are you gonna drop in the chat I don't know what they thought I was gonna drop in the chat I have nothing to drop in the chat? I don't know what they thought I was going to drop in the chat. I have nothing to drop in the chat. I thought you were going to drop a photoshopped into someone else's

picture and ask them. Should I just go... Because it was a whole... I'm not going to just reveal... Okay. This is what I'm going to do. I can't imagine being a listener of this podcast and having

to listen to what Andrew is saying right now like people have to be screaming at their phones they have to be they have to be there's no way that people are just going ah and I'll wait patiently for the answer people must be fucking screaming at their phones

I think everyone's happy first of all I'm in a great mood i'm screaming with joy yeah this has been a lot of fun i don't feel i was i'll say i wasn't in austin sadly i wish i was i don't want to give up the person who assisted me with this unless i know they're okay with it so i'm gonna have to i'll slack them and i'll get back to you guys well you by saying slack you tell us who it was someone who works for us no yeah no I clearly I bet it was no

Jack is who it was go back and listen whenever I always use slack to refer to messaging someone whenever I go back and look the audience especially when you're using slack yeah I slack someone you know that's no no chatting when i'm sending a text you know the way i say i slacked you yeah whenever i text someone i'm

always like i slacked them that's the thing i'm trying to see there's no there's no hand skin that's i want to see any of these pictures i want to see andrew dig himself out of this beanhole he's just put himself in no i i you know i use slack as message all the time it doesn't have to be slack no you i think someone is hiding their hands because they know that you can recognize someone by their hands we're just gonna move on it's fine we'll talk about this later i guess is uh worse slack them about it and then um in a general sense not necessarily use the platform slack right and if i approval, I'll say who it was. Was it Greg from Finance?

No, I don't. I'll say it's not Greg from Finance. They might not even be on our Slack. You know, I use... Wait, hang on. So now it's on Slack, just not on our Slack. Uh, no. I don't have any other Slack.

Well, maybe I do. Actually, actually wait maybe i do have multiple flags wait a second after all that build up you don't even have this ready to go you got to talk to someone well i i didn't plan on i didn't know where i didn't listen to the the research that was done i didn't know where everyone was at with it i wanted to feel the room and obviously there's a sense i came clean i wasn't in austin as much as I'd like to be, but I'm not going to just give up this person who helped me out of kindness of their heart to pull this off. What about making sure they're okay with it? I feel like I've accidentally given that away already.

We're going to move on. We'll settle this with them. And then, then we'll talk about it next time. If it is Jack, that's because then he would have gone to that instead of all of the do you guys have your trees up yet i still need to put my christmas tree up i mean i will say yeah you have five on your counter i will say if it was jack

it's nice to see him being useful yeah i just said it's nice to see it being useful that's a that's an unnecessary dick actually that's a no no it's no it's not an unnecessary dick no i don't think it's unnecessary i think it's fucking on point i don't know what to say in this situation i'm gonna be quiet until we switch subjects so I just don't so so it's someone on slack It's someone we work with and they went so out of their way to help you do this insane thing. Here's what I'm gonna do I'm gonna message Everyone on slack. I know it was you. Yep. There you go. And one person will reply And that's how you find out. How do you message every single person?

You don't you can only message eight at a time and that's in groups. I out. How do you message every single person? You don't. You can only message eight at a time, and that's in groups. I don't know how to message everyone. You can just go. You can go in the general Slack, and you can just post it there. I can't even type in that one. They don't let me post. I'm just imagining Gavin going to the biggest Slack group and saying I know it was you. But here's the thing. Andrew is

telling his little helper not to reply. See, this is, you can't trust this. I also don't know why he's not just talking about it. That's the weirdest part to me. What is there to hide at this point?

What if it was Nick? I don't think Nick would drive downtown to do that. Nick has a kid. He's got responsibilities. He's got responsibilities. He couldn't do it. I'll talk to the person and then we could, you know, maybe I'll reveal this. I'm not going to throw someone under the bus.

I don't want to throw someone under the bus. We didn't talk about that. I thought, you know, everyone would just think I was in Austin. That was my plan. Hang on. You thought that everyone thought you were in Austin for real? That was the plan, yeah. It was just everyone would think I was in Austin, and I'd go with that.

I never considered the possibility of having to say I wasn't in Austin. I didn't talk about that with them. In what world do you think you were tricking us? Right? That was plan A, and there was no plan B. I didn't consider... I didn't consider any other scenarios. Plan A is that we would believe you were here?

Yeah, because I had all the photos. Did anyone, for a single second no even entertain the idea that you could set foot here no no no that was a miscalculation on my part listen some plans go great the cucumber went really well that one that we're talking about right now wasn't we didn't exactly go as i thought it would go. I will say, Andrew, this would be the absolute perfect time to throw an image of you actually being in Austin

in the subreddit or the Slack or the Discord or whatever the fuck it would be. And then go, just kidding, it was me. I tricked you again. That would be awesome. So if you can do that right now, you will 100,000% redeem yourself.

You also have pictures of you in Austin, I assume, from the past. No. I don't have a single photo of me in Austin. What about the one of you and Gavin at the fucking pinballs? Oh, yeah. I guess that does exist,

but that's already been used. That probably wouldn't work if I was in the photo. Although, to be fair, I did forget that I was next to him once before that's true that's how sneaky i am oh man well i uh put a nice ball on this in the future i have a very my you know how i have that like annoying double tap tv thing where i can't i have to turn my tv off twice yeah anytime i have a new annoying thing that's going on in my life that makes it's been going for like three weeks now and i want to fucking murder somebody for it i'm so angry you know i i have uh i have hulu that's how i watch uh that's how i watch the real housewives franchises that i watch beverly hills potomac

and salt lake city are the three that i'm into right uh right now beverly hills on hiatus obviously uh everybody knows that uh but salt lake city and potomac are going strong and so every wednesday i watch salt lake city every sunday i watch potomac with emily there is this thing happening now on Hulu where, and I have like the, we have like the Hulu plus or whatever. So you get live TV through it. So we get like all,

all of our TV through it, um, which is essentially like cable. I don't know why we just don't have cable still. Uh, so I have this thing happening where when it starts to record a new episode of Potomac or Salt Lake City, it records it and I go to play it. If it's still recording or if it's just recorded at any point in time, the day the episode comes out, it's a black screen. Then the next day it works what and it's only it's only potomac and it's only salt lake city

it's no other shows that i watch it's no other shows that i record it's not even other bravo shows because those both are on the bravo channel because i watch real uh mediterranean uh below deck and a bunch of other stuff. But it is only those two Real Housewives shows. So like last night, I laid in bed with Emily for 45 minutes trying to trick Hulu into letting me see the show that I recorded.

And I just couldn't. And it'd be fine because I have Peacock 2, but they don't show it on Peacock till the next day, which is when it works on the fucking Hulu anyway. And so I feel like the goddamn Hulu people are trying to stage an intervention with me where they don't want me watching fucking Potomac and Salt Lake City until the next day.

And you might say to yourself, wait a day. That's not a big deal. Here's why it's a big deal. A, I pay for it. B, I want to watch it when it comes out. And C, I listen to celebrity gossip and Real Housewives podcasts. And they do recaps the next day. And I got to get up in the morning on Thursday morning.

And my normal routine is to listen to Danny Pellegrino talk about all the funny shit that happened on Housewives the night before. And I can't fucking do that until tomorrow now. I couldn't listen to Danny Pellegrino today because it would have spoiled the whole goddamn show. I couldn't listen to Heather MacDonald today. I couldn't listen to any of it because they'll talk about the goddamn episode last night that I could only hear I couldn't watch. How about this?

Watch it live? I can't watch it live. It's black. Oh, it's like even- Oh, it happens in the live feed. Yes! I thought it was- Oh, that's funny. Can I ask you! I thought it was... Oh, that's funny.

Can I ask you just... I thought it was just on the recording. No, I tried The Real Housewives of Salt Lake, and it just... I didn't like it all that much. Would Potomac... Would that work for me, you think? Are they different enough, or...

Incredibly different. Okay, I'll give that a shot for you. If you're gonna try... All right, here's the deal. If you're gonna watch Potomac, watch this season. I will. OK, I'll hop into this season.

I'll hop into this season. And if you're going to do it, it's not far in. I like I'll be honest with you, dude. These shows are they take a little bit. It takes a little bit of time, a little bit investment on your part to understand the dynamics

of the people involved and how they all work together. If you stick with Potomac and I won't recommend Salt Lake City this year. I'm actually not a huge fan of this season of Salt Lake City. I think, well, I don't want to. I don't. Sure. People get in trouble for talking shit about certain housewives. I'm not going to do it, but I'm not a huge fan of some of the people on that show this year who I used to be a fan of. But Potomac has a fight between Mia and Wendy in, I want to say, like episode four or five

that is the most entertaining and wild and craziest thing. And it's set up, it's set up these, this fucking battle that's going on episode after episode. So do it,

but give yourself four or five episodes. Get to the fight. Get to the fight. I'll give it a five episode run. I'll get to the fight. I'll give it a fair shot. And then see.

Not to go too deep on reality TV. Last two episodes of Survivor. So good. God damn. God damn it. I was my pick to win

got voted out last night. Gavin, you haven't been keeping up with the season. No. So the second I don't feel like this is that big of a spoiler at all for like what matters.

They did a thing where all the people that were left they gave them a thing that was like hey there's an advantage in the woods go find it and everybody scrambled for it and what they did was they attached it because typically it's like low down and it's like in the dirt that you have to dig through they just attached it to the middle of a tree like lined up with everyone's sight line and it was the thing where everybody was just walking past it being like i have no fucking idea where this thing like people were brushing their noses against

the advantage talking about how they couldn't see it it's fantastic there were people having conversations in front of it when it was like at their eye level yes there's a here's a tip by the way if you're ever going to go on survivor if you notice a cameraman filming you from a certain angle and he won't he or she won't move there's a fucking there's no there's there's something there yeah and he keeps doing like a rack focus to the yeah yeah anytime you see a rack focus there's a there's an idol it's hilariously infuriating because it's not a brief thing it is like a two-minute sequence of people resting their head on the advantage playing against the tree with no concept

it's there and then just continuing on looking for it it's great so good and it's not like it's not like super camouflaged or anything it's pretty fun no it's pretty blatant it's fantastic it's one of the best scenes I think the show has had in a long time just so

goddamn funny. It reminds me of, there's a show called Crystal Maze in the UK. It was like a, you get a certain amount of time in a room, and if you don't get out in time, you get locked in, and you have to get crystals and then take them to the end. But there was one where it was like a mirrored maze, and the crystal was at the end, and there's this guy crawling through this mirrored tunnel,

and he gets all the way to the end with the crystal right in front of him on the floor but he reaches for it in the reflection of the mirror and just bangs his hand on the mirror and doesn't know what to do he's just like oh and then he was running at a time so he crawls all the way back out without getting it it was literally like under his hand but he tried to grab the reflection version instead of the real one. And it's probably the dumbest I've ever seen someone be filmed on camera. We should probably wrap up. I gotta get going. We gotta wrap up. Yeah.

Dude, thank you. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of F*** Face. I hope you, being the audience, enjoyed it because a lot of pre-pro

went into this one way more than usual. uh way more than i realized and it was uh can i just say it was an absolute treat to pull off and i'm so glad it worked and thank you for being such a good sport gavin and not holding it against me good this this was not my fight uh i just i was just I'm just working in my role as a free agent. Well, I'm glad. This has opened some doors for me. I'm excited. Absolutely. Maybe you can tape

Monopoly money to those doors. Not at my watch. Alright. Like and review and all that nonsense. You know what? Tell a friend. Tell a friend about face. Tell them about how much fun we have.

Tell them about all the shenanigans we get up to. Tell them about cucumbers and Wilford Brimley, whale sharks and, and Pope, the fucking populaces. And I didn't tell, tell them, tell them about the oxygen level.

Just a CO2 level. If you manage to turn your friend onto F*** Face based on those instructions, please let us know. There's no way that makes any sense to anyone. And we'll see you next week for episode 135.

Bye for now. Bye. Bye. I'm going to throw away some cucumbers. Hey guys, Major League Fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face. Gavin has a fancy clock. Get out of bed quickly. Let's talk about really old videos.

It's time for a poll. We've got a piss update. Jeff knows way too much about duck penis. And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face.