Regulation Podcast - Burger Bet Results//Can We Sue Ourselves? [14]

Episode Date: September 2, 2020

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about Wacky Races, tips for competitive eating, The Panton Line official site, and more. Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fuckfacepod/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Blitz and kids. No, is it? Oh, it's just them as kids. That's weird. Why wouldn't it be about their kids? There was another show. There was another cartoon in the 70s that was the Pebbles and Bam Bam show. And it was pebbles

bam bam and their friends as teenagers yeah what was the scooby-doo as a kid called oh a pup named scooby-doo you're damn right yeah yeah there's been a million there was also scooby-doo and the 13 ghosts there was a yeah what was the one where scooby-doo was friends with vampires and uh mummy and scooby the vampire slayer that's a great one then there was the one who was the kid who said like razzle dazzle or flim flam or something that's oh razzle dazzle you mean uh are you talking about the great kazoo and no no there was a thing called there's a character named Flim Flam or something like that. Would he go razzle dazzle like that? I don't think so.

No, he wore a... I'm rolling my audio because this is all just great. I've been rolling as well. Yeah. Oh, okay. Andrew, you rolling? No, I wasn't. Crank up the fire extinguisher, Andrew.

Hey, it's good to go. I'm rolling. When did Scooby fire extinguisher, Andrew! It's, hey, it's good to go. I'm rolling. When did Scooby-Doo team up with a vampire? And how did I not know that this was a thing? Well, what year were you born? 94. But I watched Canadian, like, cartoons where it was filled with, like, old Hanna-Barbera stuff.

You were born the same year that Friends came out. Really? That's weird what year are you born 94 oh fuck you were born the year that ace ventura pet detective came out yeah i've never you know what fun fact this is an actual accurate fact there are only two times where a sequel reached the top 10 of a box office here domestically when the first one didn't ace ventura is one of those movies first one not the second one second one in the top 10 that and rambo only two the second ace ventura is unwatchably bad it's a it's a travesty is it fun bad though no it's not there's nothing good bad about it i used to love both of those movies and jeff explained to me that the second one is in fact really bad.

And then he gave a bunch of reasons. And now I only see it as bad whenever I watch it. And you can't really enjoy the first one anymore because it's incredibly transphobic. Oh, God, that's right. I haven't seen either of them. But from what I know about Ace Ventura it is hilarious to me that Jeff would have to provide some high level of insight into the failings of the

second movie for you to grasp how bad it was I thought it was great when you're a kid it's a different thing but you're saying like Jeff really explained to me the deeper meanings of Ace Ventura 2 and then I realized it's not that great the second one has all these references to other movies you know you got the cliffhanger bit at the beginning but then he's the character himself is just a complete

buffoon he's a parody of the character in the first movie in the first one he's like an insane person but he actually has he has goals he has like reasons for doing everything in the second one he's an absolute insane asylum person yeah in the first one he's a wacky dude he's a wacky human in the second one he's just the one-liners that a wacky human said like inspector clouseau type goofy or what goofy are we talking for the first one like a yeah like a a dirtier inspector clouseau. I mean, he doesn't like fail forward as much, but he's, it's like, well, I guess he kind of does.

Yeah, yeah. That's like a modern day, a little more with it, more poop humor Inspector Clouseau. Got it. Not as inept, but you know,

still in the same vein. Should we end the movie podcast and start the face podcast? I was like, you guys started this. I came in and people were screaming about Scooby Doo and vampires. I have no idea. Do you know why this happened?

I joined the discord. There was no one in here apart from Andrew. I joined and went bam because I was exactly on 3 p.m. Perfectly on time. And he went bam. And then he started talking about bam bam. And then it all just went off from there on Flintstones Kids and all that. I didn't know why you did the bam,

and then I thought I was dropping some great trivia with Marty O'Donnell on Flintstones Kids, and then it turned into this broader conversation about vitamins and television. Do you remember the song that Pebbles and Bam Bam sang that was like their song? I didn't remember Flintstones Kids, so no. Oh, okay.

Well, this was in the original Flintstones. We have to stop talking about this. So let the sun shine in and chase away your blues cause smilers never lose and frowners never wince. You ever heard that song? That's a fucking awesome song. No I don't think I have. I'll check it out.

The time you try to learn to let the sun shine in. What if you got punched in the head so hard you had muscle failure and you were in a constant state of frown? Does that mean you're just a loser and you shouldn't bother doing anything for the rest of your life? Is this a Flintstones thing? You said the losers never was it

frowners? Smilers never lose and frowners never win. I got lost in the rhythm. I wasn't picking up on the words. Alright. Remember Wacky Races? Lost in the Rhythm should be the name of our next podcast. No, Wacky Races was really good. I want to know about burgers, Andrew.

I want to know about hamburgers. Yeah, we can get the burgers. Wacky Races was a phenomenal show. Wacky Races was a great show, but all I can think of now, after Andrew said he got lost in the rhythm, is Andrew in sexy flamenco wear like in a 90s movie in in like miami where

he's like some cuban dude from the streets who knows how to dance like salsa and he and he works his way up and it's like a rags to riches type story did i leave my webcam on this is andrew can you by any chance can you fire your fire extinguisher? Can you use it right now? No. Well, yeah, I mean, I could, but no, I'm not going to. Why would I do that? It would sound really good.

It would sound like... There is no coming back from that. What a perfect start. The podcast is done. What a perfect start to an episode of F*** Face than F*** Facing your desk and everything that holds up the equipment you need to make it. I'm still in my blanket fort. I would ruin my sheets. It would be real bad.

It would be over. What I'm hearing is the damage would be contained to inside the safety. No, you have not seen a fire extinguisher go off if you think that's containing it. It is like a bomb. It just goes everywhere. Eric, this is what happens when we get here before you. I'm going to blame you entirely for this. Yeah, Eric is in a weird spot too because I did something that might be illegal that I deeply tied him to.

And I was going to tell him about it before we went, but there's no time for that. Oh. We'll just find that out later. Well, everyone, welcome to F*** Face, the podcast where we get together every week and talk about fun pranks and what we've all been doing together. Andrew, I heard you've been doing some crazy hamburger stuff. I'll get to it eventually. Do we need to introduce the show? Does anyone ever click on something like a podcast and not know what it is?

I don't know, dude. I don't feel like the intro is necessary. I don't know. But if that's the kind of energy and talent that Eric brings to an intro. I think he should do it every week. I think he should be the official announcer. If it's mandatory, I would agree with that statement. Because that was a professional at the top of his game, rolling up fully prepared and putting on a clinic. That was good.

Thank you very much. You got the job. Oh, great. I don't want it well sleep on it is the intro necessary eric yes yes yes yes why is it necessary because you have to think about it like i was actually you know what i i can relate it to something that i was doing today i uh submitted this show to the streamies oh no you didn't have to laugh at that part, but all right. That's funny.

That's funny. So I submitted the show to the streamies and what I had to do was find an exemplary episode and then also a standout highlight. And what I ended up doing was clicking through a bunch of the episodes where they just start with nonsense.

And I kept thinking, if I was a person and I found this show or somebody recommended it to me and I listened to the sixth episode and it was this, I would just go, what's happening? I agree with you. What's going on? The problem with trying to get us to do the intro six minutes into the podcast is that it doesn't throw the intro back through time to the beginning of the recording. That's right. But maybe people stick around and then they go, oh, maybe this show is like this sometimes,

but they still do the intro and I'll know what this show is. In that case, I recommend you be here on time next week, Eric, so that we don't get lost in ourselves before. Wait, when you say know what this show is, do you mean literally the name of the show? No, just what is the, you know, somebody might recommend this, like, oh, I really like this F*** Face podcast. It's

really funny. You have to check it out. And that might be the end of the recommendation. And then they come in, and then it's you going, Wacky Races! Wacky Races! You know what this is? It's ay races. You know what this is? It's a great show. You know what it is? I just realized Eric is super fucking excited about just getting the gig as the announcer.

And Andrew immediately tries to take that job away from him. And Eric's scrambling. Eric's scrambling. He's scrambling not to lose the thing he just got that he worked so hard for. I fucking applaud you, Eric. I'm on your side. We need an intro every week, and you're right. It has to be you.

I've been getting a lot of tweets every time a fuckface comes out. People who find it seem to like it for some reason. However, if you do hashtag fuckface with the asterisks, that doesn't work at all. The asterisks end the hashtag at F. So all you actually get is hashtag F and then a bunch of letters that don't link anything together.

It's a worse name than I even thought originally. Oh, it's a perfect Twitter face. Yeah. You're facing yourself by trying to reference it with a hashtag. can't be done andrew if you just if you just give the fire extinguisher a squeeze we can crack on with the episode no i'm not happening okay unless i mean maybe episode no not i'm not gonna promise anything that's a real problem fire extinguishers are a real problem they solve problems no they if you

do it recreationally, it's a real problem. How do you know? Do you speak of experience? I watched a reality show recently where the guy fired a fire

extinguisher in a room and it was a fucking disaster and went everywhere, suffocated the people. Let me counter that argument with an argument that I know

for a fact Gavin will support. OK. I have seen every episode and film of Jackass multiple, multiple times. Nobody ever died from a fire extinguisher, but every time

one went off, it was hilarious. It was always worthwhile. Why are you trying to convince me by saying I'm going to make a statement that Gavin will agree with? Because Gavin agrees with. I agree with that. I agree with that. That doesn't matter. I'm the one that doesn't agree. You're not you're swaying Dude that point is majority rules. It's two to one you don't have a choice

Why don't you fucking buy a fire extinguisher and fire it you start what that doesn't help us right now Are you worried that it's gonna break something? It's gonna shoot every... It's gonna hit my computer. It's gonna hit boxes. No, you just need to give it a little puff. Yeah. Just a little sneeze. I don't... Like, 4% pressure.

I don't... How would I know what that even looks like? I've never fired one. Well, don't floor it. Don't, like... I don't trust myself. Don't... Yeah.

Don't treat it like a Lamborghini. Look, I'm not gonna... I'm not gonna force you into this I'm just saying it would sound amazing and it would be absolutely no effort for Jeff or myself that is I get that logic I can support that fully

Andrew, will you take a new photo of your bedroom fort and as your recording space exists today in this episode take a new photo of your bedroom fort and as your recording space exists today in this episode and also do you have photos of the fire extinguisher set up right? Yeah.

When we eventually do like baseball cards or something I think those will be those would be rarities. We gotta include those. We also need to make a card of us redesigned artistically as people from Wacky Races oh yeah

I think Wacky Races was the first sporting loss that devastated me as a child I distinctly remember cheering for teams and having them fall apart in the last leg and just being heartbroken it's the first sporting event I fell in love with. It's a great sport.

You know what else we could put on the card, though? Bath race? Bath? Well, that's, hey, that could also be on there. I've promised something for a long time. Several weeks. And it's fallen through every time. I've forgotten. Things have come up. But today, today I deliver

on this promise. Art. You're about to see art the photo I've been talking about for weeks finally here right but we or you you waited so long that we already did it last week what is that what does that give us now we already know what a damn thing looks like no you didn't know what it looked like I gave you instructions Erica's saying standard ears Nose where the hair should be mouth in the middle my directions were very clear and it was scroll up like one Screen all of our drawings already there that provides our Interpretations of the original them on providing the original I'm going back. I'm providing the original.

I'm going back and I'm seeing on my pictures a nose where hair should be, a mouth in the middle, and ears where ears go. We argue about this. I agree we've already done it, but I don't think we should be using your pictures as the example.

God damn it. I'd say it's pretty close to what i did obviously you've gotten more detail because yours is bigger you got more detail on the lobes nicks on the nostrils it's yeah i mean this is this was it i wanted to this has been asked for probably over a month now and i you know what i didn't expect but i should have fucking getting shit about it when I finally provide it. That's what I didn't anticipate. It's just unnecessary. Yeah. It's like Gavin and I did 99% of the work and then you show up.

Check the fucking tapes. I feel like last week you guys were like, we'll do our interpretations and then you could show yours and we'll see how close they are. Well, last week would have been the time where you'd have done yours. I couldn't have done it last week. The point was I didn't done it last night. That's my last week That's like me ordering 14 broken Russian mega hats and showing them to you this week. What's already done with I don't even know what that means Edge

Andrew there's only one of those the only reason we drew the fucking face perfectly I might add at least in my you don't know anything about only reason we perfectly, I might add, at least in my... You don't know anything about last week. The only reason we drew it... The only... I remember this part. The only reason we drew it is because you wouldn't. No, it's not that I wouldn't. I couldn't.

I wasn't opposed. I once again wasn't opposed. That's a good point. Do you remember much of last week, Jeff? Or were you just completely off your tits? I was pretty off my tits. It's not 100 100 but it's better i gotta go back in like two weeks and get the temporary crown cranked off and then uh the root canal finit what jeff may still be on on medicine i just uh get the root canal finished or the root cal finished as i just said uh and then

go through it all over again so i'll let you uh you know i'm doing okay right now but i'm not looking forward to being me in like uh 10 days or so look i'm glad we've seen your version of andrew i'm glad i'm glad it's there but it's not the revelation that i was hoping for we already got that last week yeah that's my issue with it. You didn't get it. You didn't get it last week. What does that one provide? That's what it actually looks like.

Yeah, but last week I didn't have any idea. If you had never seen the fucking pyramids and someone described the pyramids for you to draw and then they showed you the real pyramids, you wouldn't be like, I've already seen it. I drew that a week ago. What are you talking about? You're comparing your picture to one of the ancient wonders of the world. I'd say that photo's pretty fucking wonderful. Oh, man. I

gotta see a side-by-side comparison between Andrew's photo, Andrew's drawing, and the fucking Great Pyramid of Giza. That's awesome. Which one took longer to make? Who drew it better? Wherever you're going,

you better believe American Express will be right there with you. Heading for adventure? We'll help you breeze through security. Meeting friends a world away? You can use your travel credit.

Squeezing every drop out of the last day? How about a 4 p.m late checkout you just need a nice place to settle in enjoy your room upgrade wherever you go we'll go together that's the powerful backing of american express visit amex.ca slash ymx benefits vary by card terms apply oh god so um i it was two weeks two weeks ago now that we were talking about burgers the the old bet um obviously you didn't do it last week because you were busy not drawing talking to everyone on the internet yep yeah but this week you job oh is it three weeks ago no no it's two weeks ago

it doesn't matter i don't think it matters i don't think it matters either but you've done the 25 burgers or you've at least tried i made an attempt you don't think it matters. I don't think it matters either. But you've done the 25 burgers, or you've at least tried. I made an attempt. You don't know the result of the attempt. No, I don't. I talked a lot of shit the day of. You talk so much shit. I'm going to get my slacks up because we were talking a lot, but you weren't really giving

me any details on how it was going. It's sort of weird. Yeah, I didn't know because of the podcast. It's a strange thing to talk about with you. I mean, when you look at the bag originally it seems very doable looking at a top down that doesn't seem that bad uh i don't i don't know what you're talking about i i wouldn't even be able to eat half of that what you know what it doesn't look bad that looks awful it looks like a half a cow in a bag. Okay. Well, I guess compared to 50 singles, which is the scale I'm using, it's a lot easier to approach. That doesn't seem nearly as scary to me.

I talked a lot of shit. And Gavin, I was kind of phrasing things in a weird way that was panicking Gavin. He did not understand how I was moving through these burgers with the speed in which I was doing it. Every single time I would give him a realistic problem on why it wasn't necessarily going to be a breeze, he would just say he was going to do it fast. Yeah. I was going to eat faster than my stomach realized it was full. Makes sense.

Makes total sense. And here's my strategy. Okay, Gavin, you don't know this. You haven't seen this photo. This is what I did. This is my 200 IQ play. Last time, the buns were a problem. The buns really weighed me down.

So I thought, this is what I'm going to do. We're going to prioritize meat first. So I went all plain with my burger order this time. All plain burgers. Put on my own condiments. I used home condiments. This is an away game. And I stacked them.

I was doing burger stacks. I came out of the gate with an eight burger stack. Just coming out blazing. So that's a, looks like six patties. That's eight. Oh, eight? I think that's eight. So it's like an octa burger.

It's a bit, yeah, it's an eight burger stack. And I slammed that thing down. It's a bit, yeah, it's an eight burger stack. And I slammed that thing down. It was a little too big for my mouth. But that still leaves you with 10 bun pieces to eat. Yeah, that's a later problem. I just needed to get through the meat. I felt like the buns would be easy to consume slowly over time.

It was really- I'm looking at some of our argument here. You were going on about, I was going to suggest to suggest like I did last time that you keep, keep the oven on and keep the other ones warm so that you wouldn't be in cold burgers. Andrew says, my plan is just to eat them all in the first hour. So they don't get cold. And I just wrote one hour, one. He said, also no more condiments. This is a home game this time around.

No more road condimentsiments 25 in one hour is what i'm saying andrew says i'm i'm big braining this thing i i said big brain small stomach regular human size stomach you said if i eat quick enough my body won't know it's full yeah i said that's like saying if i quickly fill this pint glass with beer i'll be able to fit more beer in it. I don't think the two relate at all. When all you're in fact left with is a cup full to the brim and now the beer is foamy.

Speed has no play in this. There's nothing to do with speed in any of this. No, you've clearly never tried this. Speed has a lot to do with everything. It's a sprint. You run out of stamina in this. And if you can go fast, you can get a lot to do with everything. It's a real sprint. You run out of stamina in this, and if you can go fast, you can get a lot done.

You need to do a lot in the first, I'd say, 30 minutes. But it's just mass. The mass is the same, Andrew. It's the same. No, but eventually it becomes a mental game, and if you're fast enough, you can clear more damage before it becomes mental. Okay okay how did it go then what

came next uh well i i did really well i kept going i had three hours left and this is all that remained this is it i was down to three stacks you didn't eat everything in the first hour no no that was a little ambitious i also i just i yeah i for some reason my head i kept thinking doubles were singles so i was thinking 25 burgers at one point it was a great miscalculation so i want to make sure i understand it and can describe this to the audience i just got confused you can get into that because i don't know dude uh it what it looks like you're left with three burgers that are all three stacks three how big are the stacks six stacks six stacks so that's 18 okay six stacks

of six are you telling me that you ordered 25 doubles but then you were counting single patties as whole burgers there may have been a point in time in which i was thinking well yeah when i was telling you the 20 when i said I'd done the 20 in the hour that was just patties with the buns so really yeah nowhere near the 50 that you have to get so where's all the buns going oh I'm just stacking them to the side

I just have a bun stack on the corner of my desk so I'm looking at the three burger the stack right now this is with three hours to go there's off camera a pile of buns like oh yeah a great pyramid if you will a bun pyramid okay so you're saying that once per hour you have to eat one of those six stacks and then all the remaining buns as well i'd eventually yeah well my goal is honestly i just thought if i can get through the meat i can get through the buns it's the meat is the real what were you doing for the first seven hours

though what do you mean I was eating constantly this is three hours left and you've got all of that left this is three hours yeah that's what I had left with like three hours to go as I gotta ask it is is a bun with six to eight patties inside does that taste good it doesn't look it tastes the same as a bun with two I don patties inside, does that taste good? It doesn't look good. It tastes the same as a bun with two. I don't think the number of patties changes the taste of them. That's ridiculous.

The ratio's all off. Of course it tastes different. What do you mean by the ratio? Well, I mean, why bother eating any bun at all? If you've got 20 patties and one bun, you're just going to be mainly eating ground beef or whatever a McDonald's burger is made of. I just don't want to eat the McDonald's burger, though. You need some.

I'm a classy individual. I need a bun on that. I'm not just going to eat the meat plain. So you had nothing between the meat? No pickles or onions or sauce? I would do ketchup. I brought my own ketchup into it. But yeah, no pickles.

Apparently mustard can cause you to vomit in eating competitions or something. So I avoided that. No mustard this time. That's what I learned. The night before the competition, I googled tips for competitive eating. And I read several sites.

And every tip I would look at, I'd read and go, I'm not doing that. That seems like a lot of work. That seems like read and go I'm not doing that that seems like a lot of work that seems like that seems like too much I'm not interested in that so but I did learn the mustard apparently makes you throw up for some reason did you throw up no I didn't oh there was no rule against it but I felt like that'd be cheating so I did at one point during our conversation uh I started cheering you on I said that makes sense you know what I want the best conversation, I started cheering you on. I said, that makes sense. You know what? I want the best for you. I'm cheering you on.

I actually think you can do it. You took that as some sort of weird Jedi mind trick that I was trying to play. Yeah, it's not. I don't believe it. I still don't believe it. That's a blatant lie. Then you said 25 might be ambitious, but I genuinely plan on knocking 12 of these things out within the first 30 minutes.

Then once again, I'm reminding you of the actual maths that that is one every two minutes. Math is just a downer when you're doing something like this. You don't need to know the math. That just makes it seem harder. I broke it down to bytes. I was like, so six bytes per burger, that's one byte every 20 seconds

for half an hour. Yeah, that seems like a lot. If you would lay it out that way, I'd say, no, I couldn't do that. But if I don't do the math and I just go purely on confidence, I'm very confident. I was just trying to make, I was trying to phrase this challenge in a way that would make you see

that it's not just going to be a breeze that you can speed through by just shoving stuff down your throat. Deep down, I always know it's not going to be a breeze, Gavin, but if I pretend it is, then if it somehow ends up being i'm just giving myself confidence is what that is so you did you successfully

kid yourself do you think uh yeah well i always kid myself into thinking this is gonna be no problem at all and then unfortunate math and reality comes into play yeah um this is this is what i ended up with this is the the final final picture coming through now picture i ate 44 meat patties that's all i had left including the buns so that is the end of 10 hours is that is that a failure that is a failure i did not do it you got close i did I did get really close. So what is that? There's a... I started making smaller stacks. I can see that you've double bunned the front one, and the one at the back looks like it's just buns.

It's just buns. Those are just buns. I think you screwed yourself by throwing off your bun to me. I mean, you can't just eat buns with a bun inside. That's got to be gross. No, I didn't. I never made a bun inside. That's gonna be gross. No, I didn't I never made a bun burger That was just stacking that was trying to make a nice picture to show what I had left That was it and then this two it looks like two halves of two different bugs. Yeah I can't finish this one, but I'll eat the next half of the next one

Honestly, yes, because when you look at a bunch of burgers and they're all full, it seems intimidating. But I was like, if I can make these all halves, this is going to seem a lot easier. So I just started eating multiple burgers. God, you are all about the mind games played on yourself. I love it. It's just getting yourself over the edge. And I couldn't do it, but I went all the way down.

What did you do with the leftover burgers? I just got rid of the final six you just throw them away you didn't i don't think i'll eat another burger in 2020 i can't this was a rough one you uh you didn't think to go downstairs and give them to your girlfriend in the alley maybe no no i don't i don't know those buns look like they could soak up a lot of piss god God. That felt very forced. Krampus doesn't do that. Wow. Okay, so another failure,

but impressively close that time. I did way better than last time. Yeah, you were like two thirds, if that, last time. So next time you're going to do it. No. No. It's not no i can't i think you finally we've finally broken you it's out of your system i don't i don't think you have burger confidence i don't i've lost my burger confidence because the first time i made

enough errors where i thought i could make corrections and i made those corrections and if i can't get through the meat then i can't get through the buns so this is not you're a perennial loser when it comes to burger and applesauce competitions I'm proud of one of those that is factually correct huh

what do you owe Gav now what was the bet for oh boy it was gonna be I was gonna have to pay him a hundred but I think no I think it was a hundred both ways I was going to have to pay him $100,000, but I think you were going to pay me $50,000. I think, no, I think it was $100,000 both ways. I think I'm down, I think I'm down $150,000 to you now. Okay. Which, I don't know, puts me in a tough spot and kind of forced to make some moves here. You know, I tried, I've tried to reach out to the Rooster Teeth store.

They are ignoring me. They have avoided all attempts at reaching out. They're ignoring everything I said. Are you trying to sell your hats to Rooster Teeth to pay the debt? Hear me out, Gavin. I tried. I tried to go a clean route. I wanted to do this the right way.

I threatened it in the past. Didn't want to do it. The bootleg store is now on the menu. Oh, no. It's possible. It's a possible thing. I don't want to do this. I've reached out to the store.

Maybe something will happen. But the bootleg store is now in existence. It's not up, up yet, but it's up. It's like pre-up. I've made steps i've officially made not the roosterteethstore.com because i do not want to get in trouble this is not the roosterteeth store this is this is my store that has nothing to do with roosterteeth i i'm i'm worried that um your legal representation, Rooster Teeth, will have to sue itself.

Yeah. Nah, this is a totally different thing. This is nothing to do- Alright, let me look at the site. If it's up, let me look at the site. Yeah. It's completely up. It's very navigatable.

You navigate it, look at the prices, look at the products. Listen, we've expanded Beyond Hats. Some shit from Kansas. Well I guess I'm like 90% sure I'm okay, but there's a 10% chance this is not okay, and I need a fall guy. Everyone needs a good fall guy. Oh my god, you've got- You've got additional merch, you've got two hats, you've got a flask, you've just drawn on these, and you're selling your art? Your guy looking up? Yeah, it's an original art piece, I don't know why you're upset by this. For a million dollars?

What is the address to the store? Ourselves. God damn it. I don't think so. This is not the Rooster Teeth store. Jeff Line. Which Jeff is that? Is that Foxworthy?

We're in talks with a variety of Jeffs right now. Okay, so we'll get sued by him as well. Let me see. What other pages will we get in trouble over for this? About us, it says, Welcome. Why do you want to know so much about this legal operation? You a cop?

Mind your business. Don't tell me your problems. It's a really aggressive store. It's a very open store that people could look at. Well, anyone who would click that would be a cop. So I just wanted to let them know. Contact us is tweeting to Eric Bedore. Wow.

All you'd want to know, Eric is... I know one thing about Eric. He loves hearing people's opinions. Free shipping on no orders. For a small operation you've got the one listed in red but the description says we ain't selling this shit in red

well cause people are gonna wanna know where the hat is they're gonna say I want the red hat and I just need to make a page to say we're not selling it in red the cart doesn't work I can't add anything to my cart yeah well i don't want to actually we're still this is a threat this is the phase one threat i'm not actually

selling anything on this andrew this is i'm drawing a line in the sand i don't want to cross that fucking line it has an online help thing what is this what happens if i put it's got like a chat thing in the bottom right. Where does that go to, Andrew? Might go to Eric's Twitter. How many Easter eggs are on this fucking store? Name, Gavin Free. But yeah, I mean, I don't want to do this. I had the Rooster Teeth store very quiet.

I know they see me. I know they see me. This will wake them up. Yeah. I think the best part about that red fucking Russian fuck hat is the giant stain on the middle of the bill. I can't stop looking at it. What is that stain?

I don't know what that is. It's a great question. I'll look into that. So do you think this will get the ball rolling on these hats? I mean, in your defense, we've not heard anything from whether they're making the hats or not. I've not heard anything. Eric? Haven't heard a word. I also have asked about

the hats and have not received word on the hats. Sounds like Eric's checking up on it. You know my favorite part about this whole deal, Gav, is that Eric is the producer of this show so this is all his fault. Or problem. Yeah, and problem. There's no problem. You and I are just talent, man. Yeah, so are my yeah. There's no problem. You and I are just talent, man.

Yeah, so are my social handles, and people can get a hold of me directly through the website I didn't make. It's really interesting stuff. This is incredible, Andrew. You've really put everyone into a sticky situation. And by everyone, I mean Eric. Andrew, you've out-fucked yourself. I don't know what that means, but I think this is a great play. It's a show of force. The biggest

face so far is Rooster Teeth allowing Andrew to be in Rooster Teeth content. I just found out Eric Bedore has Instagram. How about that? There you go. Sign in. Pictures of cats. I'm blown away by that website. I'll be honest. It's a great site. I don't want to use it. I don't want to use it.

I mean, you've used it. It's there now. I made it. I don't want to use it i don't want to use it i mean you've used it it's there now i made it i don't want to use it i love the fucking manual for the home embroidery machine behind that it was made by a skilled skilled user they know everything about did they ever tell you what the problem with the machine was like what was what it was where it was going well it was it was like a screw was loose or something. I'll say. It's like a mechanical issue. Yeah.

That's a hell of a loose screw. It is. It created some masterpieces that I feel like should be recognized, not in a museum, but recognized. Jeff, what are your thoughts on this? I'm just, can I be honest with you, Gav? Yeah. I'm just glad I'm not Eric

Me too man I can edit the site I can make adjustments I have no I have no I am just a talent on this show so that sounds like a whole thing for Eric and the legal department Andrew's legal representation It would be funny if the show went under because

it sued itself. I don't think that's happened. No, I don't think it has either. I'm trying to think. I don't think there's a reason to sue though. This is very clearly not the Rooster Teeth store. That's true.

It's true. It's true. It couldn't be more clear. Not the Rooster Teeth store dot com. This is not. If you want the Rooster Teeth store, don't go here. That's fair. I mean, Elon Musk made not a flamethrower, and that seems to work. Hey, that's a good point.

I'm not trying to light people on fire. That's true. I'm just trying to sell hats. Well, I mean, some would argue that these hats are fire. Hey-o. I don't... Come on, that was unclear. That was unclear.

Thank you very much. That's true. I won't argue that. Do you guys have any suggestions for the store? I think you have a great point. Gav, I don't think you and I are allowed to comment. Yeah, I'd probably stay out of it. Maybe I could you have a great point. Gav, I don't think you and I are allowed to comment. Yeah, I'd probably stay out of it.

Maybe I could product suggestion. I mean, I see there's five products. A sixth one might be a fire extinguisher with the face logo on it. Can I just sell

a boring company? Oh, then I wouldn't have a pop filter holder. I don't know if that's worth it. can we settle on you firing the fire extinguisher if we make it to 52 episodes if we make it to um well what are the rules you just bought like after a year of facing you you fire the fire extinguisher off you send it off and then we'll replace it with a mic stand. Oh, I just got an email. Not the Rooster Teeth store.

Did someone send me a message? That went to you? Yeah, I filled out a little... Yeah, let's see what this says. Eric? No, it wasn't Eric. I just said that. That was just a joke. I didn't even know it directed to me, though.

That's cool. That's cool. You should forward those to Eric, I assume. Yeah, you should. That's a great idea. Eric, what's your email? Eric, quickly make a dummy email address for your own sake.

You can email me at jeff at roosterteeth dot com. You can send all your emails there. Don't forget to spell it with a J. jeff dot foxworthy at roosterteeth dot com. I don't want it Why not

It was Gavin had a question Why not Well maybe Gavin you should just ask him the question While he's here And the question was just Eric Yeah but like that's obviously leading to a broader question It's like hey Eric is this you And no one's just like oh yeah okay cool

It's you There's always a follow-up I feel like Andrew is becoming more and more dangerous as each week goes on I fucking I feel like it's getting away from us Is Jeff has deemed him Krampus and it's really take it's become It's reached critical mass and is now actually becoming a huge detriment to the product, which I think is perfect.

I don't understand why this is, I thought we'd be aligned in this. I thought we'd all agree this is great. I'm fighting for us. This is a fight for all of us. But the thing is, is you're fighting us for us. Well, sometimes the left brain doesn't agree with the right brain.

But it's all one unit. I'm trying to get the other side to see the light. That's all I'm trying to do. This is like the ripped corpus callosum of podcasts. I gotta be honest. I don't understand that reference.

Yeah, I had no idea. Isn't that the thing that links both sides of the brain, and they snip them if you're schizophrenic? Alright, shut up. Nobody cares. If it's not Flintstones kids, I don't know. Oh, Jesus. I didn't sign up for science class, Poindexter. Fucking hell.

It's not Beekman's world. Oh. Oh, dear. That went great. I think I appreciate the support of the store. And I'm glad you guys are with me all the way. I can. I am.

I think it's highly entertaining. I'll say that. And all of the fallout and ramifications to come will also be highly entertaining. At least for two of us. What fallout? What ramifications? I don't know. There will be none. Can't wait to tune in to find out, though.

Are we doing... Is there any... I feel like we've somehow got an entire episode out of Wacky Races and a huge legal issue. And we've done burgers. That's a good point. Yeah, burgers, burgers, burgers. Yeah, that's pretty good.

I feel like there's nothing sort of teed up for the next episode. But, you know, there doesn't always have to be something for next time. What do you mean not teed up? Like, this is all within a week. Yeah. We don't need things teed up for the next episode, but you know, there doesn't always have to be something for next time. What do you mean not teed up? Like, this is all within a week. What do you mean you need things teed up? No, it's just there's nothing that you're gonna stuff your face with in the next week.

I've basically got nothing to talk to you about in the next week, which makes me a little bit sad. That's not true. I still have notes on my thing for things I can talk about that happened this week. Well, Eric's been trying to get us to end this one for... Oh, has he? I wasn't looking. Well, Eric's been trying to get us to end this one for... Oh, has he?

Yeah. He's sort of time-checking us, because the last one went long. Oh, yeah. I have a $100 Garfield bet right now. You didn't even touch on that. That's a great thing to tease for next episode, I guess. How many $100 are you going to lose at the same time? I'm not going to lose that one. I'm the Garfield king. That

one isn't happening i'm sick my throne is secured gavin you don't need to worry about is that for next time are you gonna tell us what it's about i are we ending this felt like a weird opening a weird ending yeah it sounds like you it sounds like why don't you just tell us what the garfield bed is and that's how we'll close this then no that now this is like that just took the air out of the whole thing this is like a downer now why is it a downer it feels like a forced thing like oh i guess if you're gonna bring it up you might as well talk about it but we should have closed oh is that how i presented it to you i'm sorry i'm with you andrew it does feel like a downer i'm sad now the tone of that

was bad i don't think we should end. I was just trying to placate you. Okay. How about, hold on. Let me see. That was a whole crazy thing. What with the hamburger and the hats and stuff. I wish, that was, I feel like we're close to having a really good episode. But if we had one more fantastic story to just fucking take us over the edge, that would be awesome.

I'm all tapped out, though. Gavin, Andrew, do you have anything you know i actually had something but this episode is going to air by the time it's over so maybe it would make more sense for me to talk about it next week when it's ended instead of this well now you made it downer because well no i'm i'm just saying that the bet doesn't end until next week this will air air two weeks from now. It ends on, my bet ends on Tuesday. Jeff just dug us out the downer hole, and you dumped a truckload of donuts. No, this isn't a downer.

I fucking hate you guys. Okay, let me pivot this. Like and subscribe. Let me pivot this. Send us a review. Like and, yes, all of those things. Send us a review. Hold your horses for a second.

I don't want the review. Hold your horses. I do. I don't want the review. I do have something I could say. I tweeted my Judge Judy prank. I'm trying to. You keep interrupting me. I tweeted out my Judge Judy prank number. Hold on a second.

It's a public number now. Hold on a second. Before you go any further, how's the mood? Do you feel emboldened to continue the story? Yeah, I feel like this is a good mood. I feel pretty good about how things are at this current moment. By all means, sir, please proceed. I posted the Judge Judy phone number, and I've been getting calls. I've been talking to people.

So you gave the internet a phone number. Does the phone ever stop ringing? I've gotten a little over 100 calls, I'd say, since I did it. And most of them I haven't. I was doing this really fun thing last night. Jeff, since you love fun, let's act this out. Call the number, not expecting anyone to pick up. I'll show you what I was doing.

Okay. Then you're calling. I'll have to look up that. Text me the number. No, that's fine. That's too much work. So Jeff calls. I let it ring.

Do the bit. But I don't't the bit won't translate because we won't hear the rings it doesn't why don't you tell us you're gonna do a bit no fuck all right all right hold on my fault on the rock there we go okay so I let it ring a few times so they think like oh maybe it'll be a voice I don't and then I voice and then I'll answer I'll answer so I answer the call and then I say hi you've reached Andrew Patton's

Judge Judy prank line this is a number I bought through Skype so I don't know if it beeps at the end of a message but feel free to leave me one have a great day okay should I leave the message now and then you leave the message because they think that's a voice recording so then you would talk.

Yeah, this is this is your this is your real dad. I'm calling to get in touch with you. Your entire life has been a lie. If you could call me back. My number is five, five, five, five, five, five, six. I mean, hey, hey, real dad. Yeah, no, I was going real dad sorry i i hung up this isn't that actually happened once that actually it did happen once i waited too long

they hung up so you've been just chiming in in what they think is a voicemail and scaring yeah yeah i open as a voicemail and then I'll wait for a good time to jump into the conversation and I'll be like, what's up? And I did. Oh, I got the first guy. I got so good. He started talking and I said, what's up? And he's like, what? And I said, I'm just messing with you.

This is still a voicemail. Leave your message after the beep. And then he said, he said, like, did he do it? Yeah. So I was just calling to let you know. And then I jumped back in and said, I'm still doing the voicemail. Leave a message. Seriously, after the beep, there's going to be a beep.

Wait for the beep. We did it three times. I reset him three times. And by the fourth time, he still didn't know if it was somehow recording. He's like, I don't understand. Is this real? Is this a real conversation? Did you eventually tell him, like, hey, it understand. Is this real? Is this a real conversation? Did you eventually tell him

like, hey, it was me the whole time? Yeah. No, then we had a normal conversation but it took a while for him to accept the fact that I wasn't fucking with him. A, that's hilarious. And B, did you record any of that? No. How would I do that?

How would I record that? How would you record this? But that's through... Well, I record... Would have been great for the podcast if we could have played a couple of those. You didn't even want to fucking hear the story. No, I did!

I didn't want to listen to next week. Wait, I'm serious. Okay, I can record these. I just didn't... If I'm calling... Listen, you need to get their permission. Yeah, you need to get a release from everyone. Yeah, I would record these. I just didn't... If I'm calling... Listen, you need to get their permission. Yeah, you need to get a release from everyone. Yeah, I would get a release.

But if I just said... Wait, do I need a... Is a verbal release good enough? Eric will work it out with you behind the scenes. He likes to do that kind of stuff. Eric, is a verbal release good enough? I'll be honest. I feel like...

A verbal release will do. I feel like F***face needs its own lawyer at this point. We don't need a lawyer. Everything has been above bar board. What's this expression? Above the bar. Everything's above William Barr. You've been setting the board real low, Andrew. I set the bar real low, but everything

I do above it is legal. It's all good. See, I've been talking to people. It's been great. Sometimes people say things that I don't think they'd say if they thought they were talking to a person maybe if you put a blanket disclaimer in the tweet and maybe a small message up front

when they call saying hey this might be recorded maybe that is a release I don't think I think they need more awareness than that I think as long as I end the call with like hey do you mind if this gets maybe used? And they say, sure. I still don't know how to record it, though.

Read up however they do it on the Howard Stern show for Sal and Richard do prank calls. Oh, I'm sure I have the same tech they do. No, no. Not for the tech, more of like how they because they solicit approval after the prank. All that stuff is fake. No, I think for prank calls on radio, I think you need to do it ahead of time.

I don't think any of that stuff is real. Well, something to, something to research. Uh, for sure. I'd agree. Are we at the end now? Is this officially the end of the podcast? I don't fucking know. I think you got us there.

Yeah. I think, I think you carried us over. Eric, you don't like our, our eight outros. You have a problem with, well, wait, what are we supposed to say first? Look, if he doesn't like that intro, he's definitely not going to like whatever this is as an outro. Oh, he's just a curmudgeon. He's like, he can't...

You know, Eric, he's very cool. He's the kind of guy that wears like a denim vest. And he's a ring guy. He can't say he wants to do it because that's not macho. Eric's a very macho dude, you know? Big dog's gotta hunt and all that. So, uh, big dog's gotta hunt! So, uh, so he can't,

you gotta read through the lines with Eric, you know? He, obviously he wants to do the outro, but he's not gonna come out and say it. Read between the bars? Yeah, you gotta read between the bars. What are we supposed to say for the outro again? That's just what I wanna know. Uh, thanks for listening. Thanks for listening. This is, uh, for the outro again? That's just what I want to know. Thanks for listening. Thanks for listening.

This is for face. Do we need to say the name of the show in the outro too? I think it's up to the individual. If you enjoyed the podcast tweet us hashtag F and we'll

see you on Twitter. Oh and if you are Bill Ripken, we'd love to have you on. Well, I don't know if we want him on, do we? I don't know. Well, I'll tell you what, if you're Bill Ripken... I'd like to send him a shirt. If you're Bill Ripken, we'd love to

send you a shirt and maybe talk to you if you're interesting. Why don't I just call one of these people and they can do the outro for us? Yeah, that's a great idea. Do that. Oh, I'm getting a call right now, actually. This is perfect. Answer it live. Yeah, I'm going to answer it live right now. I think I get a release.

Wait, okay. How do I do it? One second. Oh, I just muted myself. I don't know how how does Wait, can you hear me? I've never used this on a phone. Aren't you on the mail? All this is going to do is end his actual podcast recording.

Hey, how's it going? We're recording a podcast right now. Are you okay? Are you okay to be on this podcast? I would love that. He would love that. What's your first name? It's Chris.

Chris, okay. So, Chris, I want you to close our podcast for us. I'm going to give you kind of an explanation of what to say, and then I'll say go, and then you take it away, okay? Outsourcing. This is great. So great. Awesome.

Okay, so I'm going to need you to tell people to please share the F*** Face podcast with a friend. Please give it a five-star review. And what's the other thing? Thank them for listening. Ask them to subscribe. Just to tell everybody they know. I got some of that. We all good?

Okay. Here we go. Ready? Go. Thank you all for listening to the podcast. I've been your host, Chris. If you could please subscribe on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts, I'll leave a five-star review. Thank you, guys. Awesome. Thank you so much.

You nailed it, Chris. That was great. Best go-to we've ever done. By far. Chris can't hear you. Would you like to relay a message to Chris? Just tell him Jeff said thank you and Gavin did tell him Jeff said thank you and Gavin did not Jeff said thank you and Gavin said

he's not sure about people with the name Chris He's had bad experiences, but maybe you're okay That's fair, that's fair By the way, I was just calling about the hat Oh yeah, they're not for Listen, I can talk to you about the hats Let's talk about the hats I got a store coming maybe

Maybe not, I don't know. I'm concerned about legal. It'll be a whole thing. I'm gonna call you back after this. Okay, I'm in a podcast right now. You did amazing. I love you. I'm gonna call you back. Okay, see ya.

Incredible. Yeah, this is a good outro, I think. I can't wait to talk to you guys next week Alright Oh, bye