Regulation Podcast - Cosmic Crisp Review - Official Regulation Season 2 Supplemental Episode 1
Episode Date: November 13, 2021Join Geoff, Gavin, Producer Eric, and Sound Engineer Nick as they taste test the Cosmic Crisp apple! Andrew is also here but he did not taste test the apple and believes this is all a prank being pull...ed on him. It's not, it's a Cosmic Crisp apple tasting and it's real. Is it a good? How'd they like them apples? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello and welcome to the F*** Face Official Regulation Season 2 Supplemental Episode 1.
This is coming out between Episode 76 and 77 of the F*** Face podcast.
It is important.
Eric wants you to know this is not a half episode.
This is supplemental episode one of season two of F*** Face.
As it appears between episode 67 and episode 77.
Can I instead have it?
My name is Jeff Ramsey and I am one of three hosts in this supplemental podcast.
What's that percentage?
Gavin Free, you are also a host, as is Andrew Panton, who could not be here physically because he lives in Canada.
And for him to go anywhere, it takes 17 days.
And that's not pandemic related.
That's just his issues.
Also, we have Nick and Eric, sound engineer extraordinaire and producer.
we have Nick and Eric,
sound engineer extraordinaire and producer.
Today, we will be exploring the flavors of the new Cosmic Crisp Apple.
Just came out yesterday, November 8th, 2021.
Brand new apple dropped, hit the streets.
Everybody's talking about it.
Now we're going to taste it.
Hello, guys.
I've learned, this is the,
this feels like the first time that we've
tested out all of us doing this podcast
in a room,
but Andrew's not here, and I've learned three things
already. Jeff is all about his arms
when he's talking.
Eric face palms a lot, and Andrew
doesn't get a word in it.
I mean, it's not... It's just... This is...
I don't know why we're doing this. To be is, I don't know why we're doing this.
To be fair.
Well, I don't know why you're doing this.
This is my fault.
I wasn't listening when this was agreed upon.
I don't really know what this is.
I don't know why we're doing it.
What do you mean?
This is all about.
This is.
And this is okay for you.
But I don't know why are we doing this outside of an episode?
Why would we do it?
Because we're trying to be timely.
Because we want to hit when the apples hit, man.
Apples are hot right now.
We've never timely.
We've never been timely.
First time for everything.
This is also the first time
we've ever been here
and ready to go
for a worldwide global apple drop.
This shit doesn't happen
all the time, man.
I'm aware,
and we is a strong word.
We is a strong word
for this,
for this apple experience.
You had more than a week
to figure out how to get an Apple in your hand.
It's true.
I couldn't get one.
What are you fucking...
I can't grow a tree in a week.
What are you talking...
I'm sorry.
We didn't grow trees, dude!
We didn't...
Eric didn't say,
all right, everybody go home
and grow a fucking Apple tree.
No!
Oh, no, you know what he did?
He posted a link
with four online stores for the US!
You're the fucking Apple guy! You should have apples coming out of your ears, dude! Come on!
I even suggested get a Honeycrisp and an Enterprise and Frankenstein and Apple together.
Even that wasn't possible for Andrew.
Listen, I tried. I looked everywhere. I even tried to buy a fucking Enterprise tree.
Couldn't get it in time. Couldn't find one that would ship it to me
No wonder you're so obsessed with apples Canada is the Sahara desert of apples. There's an apple drought
You can't get one when you see it everybody on the street probably stops to look at it. They're like oh my god
It's the apple we don't get those in Canada. They're impossible to find you look for an enterprise tree
You didn't just like well Well as- no, I looked for the enterprise apple first.
I looked for the apple first and the only thing I could find were trees.
Okay.
And then I was just like, well it'd be kind of funny if I bought a tree.
I don't want to get back into-
No, you don't have to. Jeff, tell me about the Cosmic Crisp.
Y'all got me yelling again. Okay, here we go.
I thought I was in not in the yelling phase of- face anymore. Um, Don't forget to bleep that one. Cosmic Crisp
Infinite Possibilities. The classically
bred cross between
an Enterprise and a Honeycrisp Apple.
Neither of those apples are available
in the country of Canada. Obviously neither is
the Cosmic Crisp. Unfortunately 0 for 3
on Good Apples is Canada.
It's not true. Honeycrisp is available.
Not available to Andrew.
Here's a couple of facts. The Cosmic Crisp Apple It's not true. Honeycrisp is available. Not available to Andrew.
Here's a couple of facts.
I have some in my fucking fridge.
The Cosmic Crisp Apple.
Are you a Star Trek fan?
Do you have an Enterprise, like a Star Trek Enterprise maybe you put together as a kid or something?
No.
Can you stick that on an apple?
No. Okay.
The Cosmic Crisp Apple is the remarkably delicious result of 20 years of study and research by Washington State University's world-class, according to them, tree fruit breeding
program. Cosmic Crisp R, it's a registered name, has an exceptional flavor profile. We will see
about that. They've been blowing a lot of flavor profile up our ass, and we're going to see today
if it holds up. Cosmic Crisp is a one apple that is equally delicious whole, sliced, or in cooking and baking. I don't know about that.
There are about 100 calories in one medium Cosmic Crisp brand apple.
I don't know how that compares to other apples, which is why Cosmic Crisp apples are a perfect
snack.
You guys know what the traditional calorie count of an apple is?
No.
Medium-sized apple?
I don't either.
Well, I don't understand how a sliced apple could taste different to a regular whole apple.
There's a lot of words here.
Oxidization, right?
There's a lot of words here.
Apple rust?
Yeah.
That are just explaining apples as a concept.
I'm not done.
The apple has been, and I'd like to point out, we are not sponsored by the Washington
Apple Commission in any way whatsoever.
We had to buy these apples with our own hard-earned apple money.
Don't look. The apple has been, oh my God, don't peek, whatsoever. We had to buy these apples with our own hard-earned apple money. The apple has been
high. Oh my God, don't peek, dude. We're unboxing.
The apple has been highly rated
for its sweet, tangy flavor. Andrew knows a little
something about that. It has exceptional
storability. Andrew also knows about that. The fruit
ripens in late September, is large
round conical
with 90 to 100% of the
surface covered in a rich and purple
color over a green-yellow background.
Since apples are mostly made up of water, they have a low calorie density,
meaning there aren't a lot of calories in apples yet.
They are still filling.
They're fat, sodium, and cholesterol-free.
You don't have to read the back.
I'm not reading the back.
That's what we need to know about this.
How many apples we got, Eric?
What are we going to do with them? We have oh no go ahead Andrew
Is this real? I don't understand like a question like are we recording you mean? No like well wait am I recording actually?
That's a great question. What's up? I was not I was not recording
Are you record are you new or is this your first episode? No listen?
I was very much caught off guard by this.
He's like, what is this podcast?
I wasn't paying attention to the last 76 episodes.
Nick and I were really deep in other food talk,
and I'm kind of upset that as the actor.
Why'd you throw Nick under the bus?
Well, I don't feel like I was.
This is explaining what happened.
Apple podcast.
Guys. I know we're an Apple podcast. Guys.
I know we're an Apple podcast.
I am the Apple guy on this Apple podcast.
I disagree with that.
Yeah.
I don't think you can hold that title.
You weren't even around for the Apple conversation over the weekend.
Now, I don't want to get into that.
By the way, see, this is a dangerous thing.
I got to be careful.
Yeah.
Because the goal from the start has always been, has always been.
I talk with my hands. We've performed together for a thousand fucking years. How do you? Yeah, because the goal from the start has always been has always been
We perform together for a thousand fucking years, how do you we've done a million podcast before this one? How do you not know I talk about you shit? We never sat next to each other. It's just under my face
We've done off-topic together 1 million times. We've done the RT. I think we're doing the RT podcast together Monday, dude
I thought you weren't gonna yell anymore on this
on the RT podcast together Monday, dude.
I thought you weren't going to yell anymore on this podcast.
I can't help it.
I don't even know what I was talking about. Are you ready?
Are you ready for the Cosmic Crisp reveal?
Yes.
Yeah.
This is, Andrew, you can't see, but I'll show you a video later.
Can we get a drum roll?
Oh, shit.
Oh.
Looks like an apple.
Yeah, it looks like a...
100% what I thought when I opened the box and I just went, oh, these are just apples.
Doesn't even look...
They're not even shiny, really.
It's kind of a muted...
I like the little foam cutouts for the stems.
It's kind of a muted apple.
Sort of a flat...
Like a matte apple?
Like it's a matte apple or maybe like eggshell apple.
At best, it's eggshell.
How's your apple, Andrew?
How's it look?
I don't...
This is a bit.
This is all a bit to fuck with me.
This is...
You're doing...
We're reviewing a thing I can't eat, and this whole segment is describing a thing you're
not letting me see.
Do you want us to...
Oh, yeah, that's good.
That works.
FaceTime you and...
Hey, dummy, look.
I got a box of apples.
Oh, there we go.
Okay, now I'm in. Now I'm back in the business. Oh, good. Hey, Jeff. Those got a box of apples. Oh, there we go. Okay, now I'm in.
Now I'm back in the business.
Oh, good.
Hey, Jeff.
Andrew's in.
Those are some...
I'm back in now.
Oh, good.
Well, I'm just looking at a Discord chat by myself
listening to you describe apples.
Let me go full screen.
Right.
Dude, that's what the audience is doing.
Yeah, what do you think the podcast is?
Well, you know, it sucks to not see...
What is happening with this fucking discord thing
Anyway, just let me go full screen. No anyway. I'm gonna let you guys select your Apple
Swearing in the back go ahead and select your Apple Gavin now Andrew. Who's okay wait? Who's picking?
I think we're making an apple go for 1a
Gavin in the top corner after was this this looks the glossiest. It is.
It's a glossy.
They're all pretty glossy.
This one, very matte.
Yeah.
Now, Andrew, I need to select an apple.
And I'd like, as an apple expert, I'm a bit of an apple novice.
I did just have an apple weekend.
I don't want to talk about it here because it's not official podcast content.
This is supplemental content.
And we only talk about supplemental things.
I don't want the podcast to bleed into the supplemental content.
We know that.
However, I'm curious as an Apple enthusiast, but relatively new, would you help me pick
out an Apple?
Do I want to go for size?
Do I want to go for dark, light, sheen, matte?
Or we could do claw game.
You say left and right.
Oh, we could do claw game.
I don't want to help you at all to be completely honest
i feel like controlled you've been trying to come for my fucking apple throne and i feel like
there's clearly a bullshit apple there's two of them that i can see maybe more there's like three
bullshit in that box pick his apple and i feel like you're gonna grab pick the apple and then
i'll pick the one you're controlling my hand andrew go for it no i'm not controlling anything
i'm letting you pick your apple
and exposing yourself as the rookie
apple person that you are. Here's what I'm gonna do.
Here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna close my eyes.
And I want you to spin the box
around and I'm just gonna grab the first apple.
There's no way I can pick a bullshit apple
intentionally. Nick, you're gonna verify
mine. I'm not even looking.
Your soul.
Your bullshit apple soul will be guided to the bad apple.
Okay, we're moving it. We're moving it. Okay.
I have no idea what's going on.
Whenever you're ready.
You just put your hand in.
Okay, which one?
Uh, I don't know.
You're touching all of them. Great job.
I'm touching two. I'm gonna touch this one.
I don't know what this one is.
There you go.
This is my apple.
Ah, fuck! That was a good apple.
He got a good one.
He grabbed a good one.
Way to go.
Fuck.
Oh, I got number 3507.
What number are you? 3507. 3507. That must be the batch. That must be the batch number.
Okay, I'm gonna say, well, first I'm gonna save my sticker. Immediate impressions. This is a very spherical apple.
Yeah. It's very nice and round. It's a tall, mine's a tall apple. Are you saving, are you putting your sticker on your wallet?
I'm gonna put my sticker on my driver's license. That's fun. On your driver's license? Just so I have it in my wallet. It's protected.
I know where it is. I'm going to put mine
on my green card.
Now, do you guys...
That's a good idea.
Do you guys spin your...
Yeah.
Spin your stem out?
Yeah, I'm going to do that too.
Andrew, is this a good one?
Nick's put it on his Costco card.
Yeah, that's a good apple.
I'll put my...
Look at how long
and straight my stem is.
That's a good stem.
I'll put my sticker
on my Blockbuster card.
Now, what do you do with your apple stem, Andrew?
You throw that away, I guess?
You don't save it as a memento?
There was a period of time.
Show Andrew.
Yeah, that's great.
It's so funny.
Oh, man.
There was a period of time in which I was eating the entirety of the apple.
Even the stem?
Even the stem.
The core?
Now, does the stem and the core, do they have nutrients?
I don't know.
Or are you just hardcore?
No, I was hardcore, and it was easier.
I didn't want to get up in the middle of class and find the garbage can,
so I just eat the whole apple.
My issue with apples is very little to describe it. Like, I'm sniffing it, I'm thinking
it smells exactly like an apple. How tall is your apple?
Who's got a taller apple? Oh,
I don't think it's me. You know, I think I've got the best
looking apple. I have a thinner apple. My apple
doesn't stand straight. It's a little on the piss.
Oh, nice. Nick says
that apple seeds contain arsenic. Oh,
yeah, yeah, yeah. So they say. Yeah, you don't eat them.
Well, you don't want to eat them in large quantities.
Yeah, I mean, you just said you eat the whole thing, so it's fine.
I get it.
He's a wonder he's alive.
I will say the sticker residue, awful.
Yeah, same.
Look at that.
Are you seeing that?
I had some sticker residue I had to spin off.
Yeah.
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All right.
Should we?
Let's take a crack in.
Now, do you take a vertical bite or a horizontal bite?
I'm a horizontal guy.
I'm a sideways bite guy.
Sideways bite guy?
Who does this?
Nick's a vertical guy.
Wow, crazy.
I've always gone with that.
Gavin's vertical?
Interesting.
Andrew, you have to break it.
Yeah, break the tie.
Are you a horizontal or a vertical bite?
Oh, vertical.
Vertical always. Wow. Well, I feel like you want to up a teeth the ridge. Yeah, break the tie. Are you a horizontal or a vertical bite? Oh, vertical. Vertical always.
Wow.
Well, I feel like you want to up-a-teeth the ridge.
Yeah, you want to go on the top.
No, you just go dead center.
You just go in the center.
You only go in the meat.
Yeah.
All right, here we go.
All right, interesting.
The Cosmic Crisp Bite Test.
Here we go.
Let's do it.
Well, I'm definitely not going to throw it against the room.
That's your bulk-spanted apple, I'll be honest.
That is the most apple-tasting apple I've ever had.
Well, wait, what does that mean?
What type of...
Are we on the more tart side?
What's the texture like?
It's a little tart.
It's more tart than a regular red apple?
Very mild.
Very mild.
A little sweet.
It's a little sweeter.
It's not sweet enough.
Is it tartar than an Envy? I don't know what that is. Nick's not sweet enough. Is it harder than an Envy?
I don't know what that is.
Nick says yes.
I'll say it's juicy. It's full of juice.
This would make a lot of apple juice,
this apple.
This is just showing me that apples are just not interesting fruits.
I mean, it's fine. It's a good apple,
but it's good. I got no issue.
That is...
It's a terrible tick.
I don't know that this is better than's a terrible tick. I don't...
I don't know that this is better than a good banana.
But this is a good...
What are you doing?
Oh, my God.
What a bite.
That exploded.
Oh, wow.
Got a big bite in.
Okay.
Okay.
Oh.
Oh, wow.
Got the full shelf.
Yeah.
Whoa. You get more of the bouquet it's voluminous hmm, that's a great way to describe it
Gavin's got apple juice
Are you okay noise What is that noise? Were you laughing at my shorts? Yeah, there's so much juice.
It's a juicy apple.
It's a very juicy apple.
That's great.
I don't care for it.
We don't like this.
It's fine.
Don't be asking questions.
Yeah, Andrew, you go ahead.
Yeah, I was going to say, what type of apples do you enjoy?
I like a red apple.
I don't like tart in my enjoy? I like a red apple.
I don't like tart in my apple.
I like a lot of sweet.
To me, it's a very sweet fruit.
And to get the tartness, I kind of like, I don't enjoy it.
You must hate Granny Smith then.
I have no idea. I would say most people, Eric, I'm going to guess you align with most people who would separate apples into two categories.
Red and green, right?
Okay.
Yeah, I feel the same way.
I like red.
I don't like green.
I like green apple candy.
Me too, but this is too green tasting to be red.
It's so red on the outside, but it's so green tasting on the inside.
It's greener on the inside than the red color.
So, Andrew, do you feel like you're really missing out watching us eat all these apples?
I'm not only missing out, I'm being
pained by the most average apple takes
I've ever heard. This is clearly a clueless
apple room. It's average.
It takes for an average apple.
I wanted to have my dick blown off by this apple.
Me too. I really thought it was going to taste
like candy. I wanted to get a Cosmic Crisp
tattoo, be like the world's biggest
Cosmic Crisp stand. It's okay. If
I started making this, breeding this
in 1997. Yeah. And then all
these years later, I said, fruits of my
labor and it just tasted like this apple. I'd be like,
yeah, can't do it. You wasted your
time. Yeah. 20 years to get this
a thing that I could just go to the store
and get. We already have this.
Well, now I think some of the benefits
are right that it keeps a long time.
It, you know,
it is very,
like the meaty inside
is not oxidizing at all.
Like at all, at all.
And they've been open
for a minute.
Yeah.
It's very big.
Yeah.
These are big apples.
I wonder if this is considered
a medium-sized...
That's what they,
I think that's what they send us
is a sack of meat.
I will say,
it's only 100 calories here. I'd hate to see a large one. I mean, that what they send us is a sack of medium-sized It's only 100 calories here.
I'd hate to see a large one. I mean, that's
120?
Wow, that's a little big.
Jeff just held up his hands like the size
of a pumpkin.
It might be one of the biggest apples I've ever eaten.
Uh-huh.
How many calories
I skipped lunch for this.
In a
large That really tickled Nick. How many calories... I skipped lunch for this. In a large...
That really tickled Nick.
A large apple is 116.
116.
Wow.
That's a good snack.
What's a banana?
Probably more, though, because it's dense.
How many calories in a large banana?
121.
I'll say this.
I will say this for the Cosmic Crisp.
One of the things that's a turn off to me on apples is I find the skin to be annoying
in my mouth sometimes.
Like it gets stuck around and pokey.
I got no skin problems with this apple.
The skin is fine.
Banana guy is going to talk about texture.
Fascinating.
I'm not talking about texture.
I'm talking about skin.
I also said that it was a positive for this fucking apple. I was complimenting texture, I'm talking about skin. I also said that
it was a positive for this fucking apple.
I was complimenting this apple. You can't please him today.
Well, what's the difference between
texture and skin? Isn't it the same
thing? Well, he was just saying about how
it's feel. You know, I'm going to go deeper. I'm going to see
if there's a gradient to the flavor.
I'm going to go towards the center. That's nice. Good.
I will say, I think the
middle is more tart than the top and the bottom. It's nice. It's good. I will say, I think the middle is more tart
than the top and the bottom.
It's like the different flavors of a
jawbreaker as you get closer to the middle.
It looks delicious. I ate the glue.
Oh, that's fun.
Did that help?
I don't like bananas,
and I think if I had a choice between this and a banana,
I'd choose a banana. That's how
underwhelming this apple is.
This is just, when Gavin says bog standard apple.
Yeah, I feel like it's not underwhelming for an apple.
It's just an apple is underwhelming by default.
And it's only so good that it can be.
I'll say this.
I think it tastes very fresh.
Strongly different.
Tastes new.
It does.
It does taste new.
It tastes like a new apple.
It doesn't taste like it was built in the 90s.
Two, three, four, five, six, seven.
What are we going to do with 8 more apples?
I'm sorry, but shit. I'll take
one. How? What about
Let's hit him with a baseball bat.
What about scrump entrapment?
I have baseball bats in the back of my car.
Do you really? I do. Let's do one.
We can do that. Or what if we did
If we slow-mo it for the promo.
Oh, that's a good idea.
Those videos we used to do in video games called Bum Bait, where you
would put somebody in, stand somebody in the corner, and then they would go up to melee
them, and then you would run around from behind them and shoot them in the butt with a shotgun?
Yeah, with many bars.
What if we Bum Baited with apples?
We stuck them around the office, and then when somebody goes up to try to get them,
we hit them in the back with a baseball bat.
Your idea is to hit someone with a baseball bat?
From behind. They'll never know
who it was. Oh. I feel like we should just see
I feel like we should just see who is a
scrumper by nature. See who
scrumps just put them up in the trees.
Scrumper by nature now because I hate you.
Andrew, did you like that?
I will never not be convinced that this
wasn't completely designed to just
fuck with me.
We're in the time.
I'm trying to get on board with your interests.
I'm wearing an Apple shirt today, dude.
It's true.
He is wearing an Apple shirt.
I appreciate the Apple content.
Yeah.
No, I appreciate the Apple content.
I flew to Detroit to go to a cider mill just to immerse myself in your world.
I can't believe you're so annoyed today.
And then I gave you updates.
See, I don't want to get supplemental content.
I don't want to get main channel content on supplemental.
But I spent a whole day giving you Apple content, and you ignored it and turned your fucking
phone off, by the way.
I was pretty excited about it.
I liked it all.
Thank you, Eric.
You were on board.
I appreciate it.
And Gavin, you shared your sandwiches.
I went pastrami.
Andrew just gave me two middle fingers.
I'm just going to quickly summarize what has happened here.
We are reviewing.
I have been vocally the only person that thinks an apple is above average.
I think it's the best fruit available.
We are reviewing a specific apple I cannot eat.
I'm just watching a bunch of people who think apple is at best average eating my favorite fruit.
And then they're going to smash the rest of them with a fucking baseball bat
Well, what do you want us to get the apple get hold of one? I can't I'd love to I'd absolutely love to you're an apple
They look great. I've got no words. This is all designed as a this is a I don't know. This is a prank
Okay, you're fucking with me in some way. We got to wrap this up, right? Yeah. This is the full content.
It says that it's great for fresh salads and in beverages.
Oh, how would it do in a pastrami sandwich?
You know, with the tartness.
A nice slice.
Yeah.
It makes for a floral burp.
You know what?
I'll tell you that.
I'm going to take one for lunch.
It's going to be my sandwich apple.
Please take pics.
Okay.
Well, I think we should go around the room and then leave our final apple impressions.
Let's do on a face scale of 1 to 10.
Okay.
10 being like the best apple on earth.
Right.
1 being the worst apple on earth.
Gavin, where do you rate the Cosmic Crisp
based on the 75% of the apple that you've eaten thus far?
What's the scale?
Are we doing numbers?
Are you Andrew?
What happened?
Am I being pranked, Phil?
I was making eye contact when I told you the fucking thing.
I was looking right at you.
You were looking at me.
I told you what the fucking scale was and why!
Let me be honest with you. I leant back just back then when I did a little apple burp and I threw up in my...
One to ten, guys
Hey, hold on. How's an apple burp puke?
It was... just tastes like apple. It was just like the last bit. It just came back up.
Yeah.
One to ten.
Five, six.
Six.
And how would you rate apples in general?
Six.
So you think it's a bog standard apple?
It's just an apple.
It's just a...
No better or worse than any other apple you've ever eaten.
I would do apples like this.
Every apple is a six out of ten.
Including this one.
Except Granny Smith, which is six and a half.
Eric. Not a big... I mean, apples are fine. including this one, except to Granny Smith, which is six and a half. Eric?
Not a big... I mean, apples are fine.
I don't have anything for or against them.
I feel like sometimes they give me indigestion.
I think they're just okay.
Five, like every other apple I've ever eaten that's red.
Andrew's going to be livid.
Nick?
Five, total middle of the road.
There are better apples, there are worse apples.
Okay.
What's a better apple to you?
And where would it rank?
Envy apple.
At least a seven.
And then pink lady?
Pink lady's a good apple.
About an eight.
Okay.
All right.
So Nick puts this three below a pink lady.
Gavin, you put it.5 below the best apple.
Yeah.
Eric, you don't give a fuck about apples.
Five, it's fine.
Andrew, I know you didn't get to taste it, you don't give a fuck about apples. Five, it's fine. Andrew, what would you,
I know you didn't get to taste it,
but before I give my impressions,
do you want to throw yours
just on sight,
overall experience
watching us eat it?
What do you think
you'd give this apple?
Are you asking me
to hypothetically rate
what this delicious-looking
apple tastes like?
Yeah, Based on the
data set that you have in front of you. And based on
this information. Okay.
So just to like further pour
salt in the wound, you want me to get in the space that I'm
actually able to taste this delicious apple
and give it a score?
Yeah, I would appreciate that. Then when you get one for real
we can compare it to the real one. Then we'll see if you were right.
I'm gonna give this apple
glue content was pretty good.
Sticker placement, pretty good.
Size, packaging, solid.
Nice shine on the red.
Not too waxy.
I'd give it an 8 out of 10.
8 out of 10.
Okay.
8 out of 10.
All right.
The highest score.
The guy just went to the half one.
I would say I'm a little kinder than these guys.
I think the average apple is a 6.85.
Just on average.
A bog-standard apple is a 6.85.
I would give this apple 7.6.
I think it's better than an average apple.
I enjoyed it.
That's pretty high.
I'm going to give it.
It's not a full point higher than your average box standard apple,
but I would say it's 0.8 higher or so.
So, 0.85, whatever that shakes out to be.
So, 7.6 is what I give this apple.
So, we got a five, we got a six,
we got a five.
Andrew gave it an eight.
He never even fucking tasted it.
He gave it an eight.
And I gave it a 7.6.
Andrew, when did you start trying to get this apple?
Three weeks ago. Average score of
6.32. 6.32
is where the Honeycrisp
I'm sorry, the Cosmic Crisp
sits on the Apple scale. Should we put it on
the leaderboard that we've got? Yeah, we'll need to. That's the
first apple to be entered on the leaderboard.
We'll have to try
another one and see how we throw it up there.
We've got baseball speeds and Apple school
Pretty good the Apple board
Well, thanks for listening to this a
podcast where we
Saw podcast this was supplemental podcast content. You're right. This was just a fuck you to me is what it was
We just label it a pro has a fuck you there was time. This was just a fuck you to me, is what it was. We could just label it appropriately as a fuck you.
There was time. I don't know what you wanted.
What did you want me to do?
How are we? I don't know.
Not this. Alright, cool.
Not this.
They didn't want us to rate and review
apples the day after they come out.
I don't know why we had to do this.
We made such a big deal about the Cosmic Crisp
coming out. How do we not enjoy it
at launch?
Come on, man.
You want these to sit for four days?
I don't.
Yeah.
Yeah, you clearly do.
You gave it a five.
You're like, apples are a five.
They are.
You're fine with it sitting.
No, because they'll get brown and then it's like...
That lasts for a year.
If I bought you a ticket to America, would you come and eat the apple?
Oh, that's an enticing offer.
Wait, where? Where and eat the apple? Oh, that's an enticing offer. Wait, where?
Where?
Where in America?
How far am I traveling?
I don't have to go to fucking Texas to get this apple, theoretically.
I could go closer.
Too far in the middle and down?
It's just, it's, yeah, it's the furthest north I've ever been.
So I don't know if I want to make that trip again.
Bye.
Thank you for tuning in to
Season 2's first
supplemental episode of
F*** Face. If you're looking to figure out
where this fits on the timeline, it's right between
episodes 76 and 77. This was
not a half episode. But between the recordings
of 77 and 78.
That is true. It was recorded,
but it was physically recorded
between 77 and 78.
Who knows when it'll be edited.
After Daylight Savings.
If, that's true.
Sunday was Daylight Savings.
So technically it was a week
and an hour less.
We fell back.
Yeah.
So you are one hour behind
on the clock.
Thanks for listening.
It's the night.
If you enjoyed
this supplemental content
and would appreciate more supplemental content,
not half episodes, but supplemental content,
let us know.
And as always, rate and review.
Thanks for listening.
Bye.
What?
I don't.
What do you?
It just stopped
Hit roll again
Yeah, that's right, he can't roll again
So this is all, this is all trash
I just hit roll again
You just told him, hit stop again
Why are you hitting stop again? You just said you couldn't roll
You said that you couldn't roll
No, I'm rolling again
I said I just rolled again
And you're like, ah, I can't roll again.
No, you said you stopped rolling, and then you said you stopped again.
So should we point out that we stopped?
Are we recording?
We stopped recording.
We had about a minute of chat, and then Andrew said,
there will be revenge when referring to this.
Not only that, in addition to Andrew losing his mind
and getting angrier in that one minute,
Gavin got even dumber.
Like, Gavin got extra.
He was already fucking stupid in this part.
He got even dumber.
There's so much going on in the room.
There's so many distractions.
Usually I'm sat in the dark in my office at home.
Andrew's angry and you're stupid.
What was the second stupid thing I did?
When he gave you the numbers and then it was, uh, right as we ended,
what was the conversation that we had that was just like you not paying attention?
It just happened again. Again. Yeah.
Is- is this part of Andrew's revenge?
Jesus Christ.
Get me out of here.
Let's go hit these with a baseball bat.
Yeah.
All right.
I'm going to make a sandwich.