Regulation Podcast - Cosmic Crisp Review - Official Regulation Season 2 Supplemental Episode 1

Episode Date: November 13, 2021

Join Geoff, Gavin, Producer Eric, and Sound Engineer Nick as they taste test the Cosmic Crisp apple! Andrew is also here but he did not taste test the apple and believes this is all a prank being pull...ed on him. It's not, it's a Cosmic Crisp apple tasting and it's real. Is it a good? How'd they like them apples? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello and welcome to the F*** Face Official Regulation Season 2 Supplemental Episode 1. This is coming out between Episode 76 and 77 of the F*** Face podcast. It is important. Eric wants you to know this is not a half episode. This is supplemental episode one of season two of F*** Face. As it appears between episode 67 and episode 77. Can I instead have it? My name is Jeff Ramsey and I am one of three hosts in this supplemental podcast.
Starting point is 00:00:45 What's that percentage? Gavin Free, you are also a host, as is Andrew Panton, who could not be here physically because he lives in Canada. And for him to go anywhere, it takes 17 days. And that's not pandemic related. That's just his issues. Also, we have Nick and Eric, sound engineer extraordinaire and producer. we have Nick and Eric, sound engineer extraordinaire and producer.
Starting point is 00:01:07 Today, we will be exploring the flavors of the new Cosmic Crisp Apple. Just came out yesterday, November 8th, 2021. Brand new apple dropped, hit the streets. Everybody's talking about it. Now we're going to taste it. Hello, guys. I've learned, this is the, this feels like the first time that we've
Starting point is 00:01:26 tested out all of us doing this podcast in a room, but Andrew's not here, and I've learned three things already. Jeff is all about his arms when he's talking. Eric face palms a lot, and Andrew doesn't get a word in it. I mean, it's not... It's just... This is...
Starting point is 00:01:44 I don't know why we're doing this. To be is, I don't know why we're doing this. To be fair. Well, I don't know why you're doing this. This is my fault. I wasn't listening when this was agreed upon. I don't really know what this is. I don't know why we're doing it. What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:01:55 This is all about. This is. And this is okay for you. But I don't know why are we doing this outside of an episode? Why would we do it? Because we're trying to be timely. Because we want to hit when the apples hit, man. Apples are hot right now.
Starting point is 00:02:07 We've never timely. We've never been timely. First time for everything. This is also the first time we've ever been here and ready to go for a worldwide global apple drop. This shit doesn't happen
Starting point is 00:02:17 all the time, man. I'm aware, and we is a strong word. We is a strong word for this, for this apple experience. You had more than a week to figure out how to get an Apple in your hand.
Starting point is 00:02:27 It's true. I couldn't get one. What are you fucking... I can't grow a tree in a week. What are you talking... I'm sorry. We didn't grow trees, dude! We didn't...
Starting point is 00:02:35 Eric didn't say, all right, everybody go home and grow a fucking Apple tree. No! Oh, no, you know what he did? He posted a link with four online stores for the US! You're the fucking Apple guy! You should have apples coming out of your ears, dude! Come on!
Starting point is 00:02:49 I even suggested get a Honeycrisp and an Enterprise and Frankenstein and Apple together. Even that wasn't possible for Andrew. Listen, I tried. I looked everywhere. I even tried to buy a fucking Enterprise tree. Couldn't get it in time. Couldn't find one that would ship it to me No wonder you're so obsessed with apples Canada is the Sahara desert of apples. There's an apple drought You can't get one when you see it everybody on the street probably stops to look at it. They're like oh my god It's the apple we don't get those in Canada. They're impossible to find you look for an enterprise tree You didn't just like well Well as- no, I looked for the enterprise apple first.
Starting point is 00:03:27 I looked for the apple first and the only thing I could find were trees. Okay. And then I was just like, well it'd be kind of funny if I bought a tree. I don't want to get back into- No, you don't have to. Jeff, tell me about the Cosmic Crisp. Y'all got me yelling again. Okay, here we go. I thought I was in not in the yelling phase of- face anymore. Um, Don't forget to bleep that one. Cosmic Crisp Infinite Possibilities. The classically
Starting point is 00:03:48 bred cross between an Enterprise and a Honeycrisp Apple. Neither of those apples are available in the country of Canada. Obviously neither is the Cosmic Crisp. Unfortunately 0 for 3 on Good Apples is Canada. It's not true. Honeycrisp is available. Not available to Andrew.
Starting point is 00:04:04 Here's a couple of facts. The Cosmic Crisp Apple It's not true. Honeycrisp is available. Not available to Andrew. Here's a couple of facts. I have some in my fucking fridge. The Cosmic Crisp Apple. Are you a Star Trek fan? Do you have an Enterprise, like a Star Trek Enterprise maybe you put together as a kid or something? No. Can you stick that on an apple?
Starting point is 00:04:15 No. Okay. The Cosmic Crisp Apple is the remarkably delicious result of 20 years of study and research by Washington State University's world-class, according to them, tree fruit breeding program. Cosmic Crisp R, it's a registered name, has an exceptional flavor profile. We will see about that. They've been blowing a lot of flavor profile up our ass, and we're going to see today if it holds up. Cosmic Crisp is a one apple that is equally delicious whole, sliced, or in cooking and baking. I don't know about that. There are about 100 calories in one medium Cosmic Crisp brand apple. I don't know how that compares to other apples, which is why Cosmic Crisp apples are a perfect snack.
Starting point is 00:04:56 You guys know what the traditional calorie count of an apple is? No. Medium-sized apple? I don't either. Well, I don't understand how a sliced apple could taste different to a regular whole apple. There's a lot of words here. Oxidization, right? There's a lot of words here.
Starting point is 00:05:09 Apple rust? Yeah. That are just explaining apples as a concept. I'm not done. The apple has been, and I'd like to point out, we are not sponsored by the Washington Apple Commission in any way whatsoever. We had to buy these apples with our own hard-earned apple money. Don't look. The apple has been, oh my God, don't peek, whatsoever. We had to buy these apples with our own hard-earned apple money. The apple has been
Starting point is 00:05:25 high. Oh my God, don't peek, dude. We're unboxing. The apple has been highly rated for its sweet, tangy flavor. Andrew knows a little something about that. It has exceptional storability. Andrew also knows about that. The fruit ripens in late September, is large round conical with 90 to 100% of the
Starting point is 00:05:42 surface covered in a rich and purple color over a green-yellow background. Since apples are mostly made up of water, they have a low calorie density, meaning there aren't a lot of calories in apples yet. They are still filling. They're fat, sodium, and cholesterol-free. You don't have to read the back. I'm not reading the back.
Starting point is 00:06:00 That's what we need to know about this. How many apples we got, Eric? What are we going to do with them? We have oh no go ahead Andrew Is this real? I don't understand like a question like are we recording you mean? No like well wait am I recording actually? That's a great question. What's up? I was not I was not recording Are you record are you new or is this your first episode? No listen? I was very much caught off guard by this. He's like, what is this podcast?
Starting point is 00:06:26 I wasn't paying attention to the last 76 episodes. Nick and I were really deep in other food talk, and I'm kind of upset that as the actor. Why'd you throw Nick under the bus? Well, I don't feel like I was. This is explaining what happened. Apple podcast. Guys. I know we're an Apple podcast. Guys.
Starting point is 00:06:45 I know we're an Apple podcast. I am the Apple guy on this Apple podcast. I disagree with that. Yeah. I don't think you can hold that title. You weren't even around for the Apple conversation over the weekend. Now, I don't want to get into that. By the way, see, this is a dangerous thing.
Starting point is 00:06:58 I got to be careful. Yeah. Because the goal from the start has always been, has always been. I talk with my hands. We've performed together for a thousand fucking years. How do you? Yeah, because the goal from the start has always been has always been We perform together for a thousand fucking years, how do you we've done a million podcast before this one? How do you not know I talk about you shit? We never sat next to each other. It's just under my face We've done off-topic together 1 million times. We've done the RT. I think we're doing the RT podcast together Monday, dude I thought you weren't gonna yell anymore on this on the RT podcast together Monday, dude.
Starting point is 00:07:24 I thought you weren't going to yell anymore on this podcast. I can't help it. I don't even know what I was talking about. Are you ready? Are you ready for the Cosmic Crisp reveal? Yes. Yeah. This is, Andrew, you can't see, but I'll show you a video later. Can we get a drum roll?
Starting point is 00:07:41 Oh, shit. Oh. Looks like an apple. Yeah, it looks like a... 100% what I thought when I opened the box and I just went, oh, these are just apples. Doesn't even look... They're not even shiny, really. It's kind of a muted...
Starting point is 00:07:52 I like the little foam cutouts for the stems. It's kind of a muted apple. Sort of a flat... Like a matte apple? Like it's a matte apple or maybe like eggshell apple. At best, it's eggshell. How's your apple, Andrew? How's it look?
Starting point is 00:08:06 I don't... This is a bit. This is all a bit to fuck with me. This is... You're doing... We're reviewing a thing I can't eat, and this whole segment is describing a thing you're not letting me see. Do you want us to...
Starting point is 00:08:18 Oh, yeah, that's good. That works. FaceTime you and... Hey, dummy, look. I got a box of apples. Oh, there we go. Okay, now I'm in. Now I'm back in the business. Oh, good. Hey, Jeff. Those got a box of apples. Oh, there we go. Okay, now I'm in. Now I'm back in the business.
Starting point is 00:08:26 Oh, good. Hey, Jeff. Andrew's in. Those are some... I'm back in now. Oh, good. Well, I'm just looking at a Discord chat by myself listening to you describe apples.
Starting point is 00:08:35 Let me go full screen. Right. Dude, that's what the audience is doing. Yeah, what do you think the podcast is? Well, you know, it sucks to not see... What is happening with this fucking discord thing Anyway, just let me go full screen. No anyway. I'm gonna let you guys select your Apple Swearing in the back go ahead and select your Apple Gavin now Andrew. Who's okay wait? Who's picking?
Starting point is 00:08:58 I think we're making an apple go for 1a Gavin in the top corner after was this this looks the glossiest. It is. It's a glossy. They're all pretty glossy. This one, very matte. Yeah. Now, Andrew, I need to select an apple. And I'd like, as an apple expert, I'm a bit of an apple novice.
Starting point is 00:09:14 I did just have an apple weekend. I don't want to talk about it here because it's not official podcast content. This is supplemental content. And we only talk about supplemental things. I don't want the podcast to bleed into the supplemental content. We know that. However, I'm curious as an Apple enthusiast, but relatively new, would you help me pick out an Apple?
Starting point is 00:09:33 Do I want to go for size? Do I want to go for dark, light, sheen, matte? Or we could do claw game. You say left and right. Oh, we could do claw game. I don't want to help you at all to be completely honest i feel like controlled you've been trying to come for my fucking apple throne and i feel like there's clearly a bullshit apple there's two of them that i can see maybe more there's like three
Starting point is 00:09:55 bullshit in that box pick his apple and i feel like you're gonna grab pick the apple and then i'll pick the one you're controlling my hand andrew go for it no i'm not controlling anything i'm letting you pick your apple and exposing yourself as the rookie apple person that you are. Here's what I'm gonna do. Here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna close my eyes. And I want you to spin the box around and I'm just gonna grab the first apple.
Starting point is 00:10:16 There's no way I can pick a bullshit apple intentionally. Nick, you're gonna verify mine. I'm not even looking. Your soul. Your bullshit apple soul will be guided to the bad apple. Okay, we're moving it. We're moving it. Okay. I have no idea what's going on. Whenever you're ready.
Starting point is 00:10:29 You just put your hand in. Okay, which one? Uh, I don't know. You're touching all of them. Great job. I'm touching two. I'm gonna touch this one. I don't know what this one is. There you go. This is my apple.
Starting point is 00:10:36 Ah, fuck! That was a good apple. He got a good one. He grabbed a good one. Way to go. Fuck. Oh, I got number 3507. What number are you? 3507. 3507. That must be the batch. That must be the batch number. Okay, I'm gonna say, well, first I'm gonna save my sticker. Immediate impressions. This is a very spherical apple.
Starting point is 00:10:54 Yeah. It's very nice and round. It's a tall, mine's a tall apple. Are you saving, are you putting your sticker on your wallet? I'm gonna put my sticker on my driver's license. That's fun. On your driver's license? Just so I have it in my wallet. It's protected. I know where it is. I'm going to put mine on my green card. Now, do you guys... That's a good idea. Do you guys spin your... Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:12 Spin your stem out? Yeah, I'm going to do that too. Andrew, is this a good one? Nick's put it on his Costco card. Yeah, that's a good apple. I'll put my... Look at how long and straight my stem is.
Starting point is 00:11:22 That's a good stem. I'll put my sticker on my Blockbuster card. Now, what do you do with your apple stem, Andrew? You throw that away, I guess? You don't save it as a memento? There was a period of time. Show Andrew.
Starting point is 00:11:38 Yeah, that's great. It's so funny. Oh, man. There was a period of time in which I was eating the entirety of the apple. Even the stem? Even the stem. The core? Now, does the stem and the core, do they have nutrients?
Starting point is 00:11:55 I don't know. Or are you just hardcore? No, I was hardcore, and it was easier. I didn't want to get up in the middle of class and find the garbage can, so I just eat the whole apple. My issue with apples is very little to describe it. Like, I'm sniffing it, I'm thinking it smells exactly like an apple. How tall is your apple? Who's got a taller apple? Oh,
Starting point is 00:12:09 I don't think it's me. You know, I think I've got the best looking apple. I have a thinner apple. My apple doesn't stand straight. It's a little on the piss. Oh, nice. Nick says that apple seeds contain arsenic. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So they say. Yeah, you don't eat them. Well, you don't want to eat them in large quantities. Yeah, I mean, you just said you eat the whole thing, so it's fine.
Starting point is 00:12:25 I get it. He's a wonder he's alive. I will say the sticker residue, awful. Yeah, same. Look at that. Are you seeing that? I had some sticker residue I had to spin off. Yeah.
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Starting point is 00:13:04 Should we? Let's take a crack in. Now, do you take a vertical bite or a horizontal bite? I'm a horizontal guy. I'm a sideways bite guy. Sideways bite guy? Who does this? Nick's a vertical guy.
Starting point is 00:13:15 Wow, crazy. I've always gone with that. Gavin's vertical? Interesting. Andrew, you have to break it. Yeah, break the tie. Are you a horizontal or a vertical bite? Oh, vertical.
Starting point is 00:13:24 Vertical always. Wow. Well, I feel like you want to up a teeth the ridge. Yeah, break the tie. Are you a horizontal or a vertical bite? Oh, vertical. Vertical always. Wow. Well, I feel like you want to up-a-teeth the ridge. Yeah, you want to go on the top. No, you just go dead center. You just go in the center. You only go in the meat. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:33 All right, here we go. All right, interesting. The Cosmic Crisp Bite Test. Here we go. Let's do it. Well, I'm definitely not going to throw it against the room. That's your bulk-spanted apple, I'll be honest. That is the most apple-tasting apple I've ever had.
Starting point is 00:13:49 Well, wait, what does that mean? What type of... Are we on the more tart side? What's the texture like? It's a little tart. It's more tart than a regular red apple? Very mild. Very mild.
Starting point is 00:14:00 A little sweet. It's a little sweeter. It's not sweet enough. Is it tartar than an Envy? I don't know what that is. Nick's not sweet enough. Is it harder than an Envy? I don't know what that is. Nick says yes. I'll say it's juicy. It's full of juice. This would make a lot of apple juice,
Starting point is 00:14:14 this apple. This is just showing me that apples are just not interesting fruits. I mean, it's fine. It's a good apple, but it's good. I got no issue. That is... It's a terrible tick. I don't know that this is better than's a terrible tick. I don't... I don't know that this is better than a good banana.
Starting point is 00:14:28 But this is a good... What are you doing? Oh, my God. What a bite. That exploded. Oh, wow. Got a big bite in. Okay.
Starting point is 00:14:37 Okay. Oh. Oh, wow. Got the full shelf. Yeah. Whoa. You get more of the bouquet it's voluminous hmm, that's a great way to describe it Gavin's got apple juice Are you okay noise What is that noise? Were you laughing at my shorts? Yeah, there's so much juice.
Starting point is 00:15:06 It's a juicy apple. It's a very juicy apple. That's great. I don't care for it. We don't like this. It's fine. Don't be asking questions. Yeah, Andrew, you go ahead.
Starting point is 00:15:20 Yeah, I was going to say, what type of apples do you enjoy? I like a red apple. I don't like tart in my enjoy? I like a red apple. I don't like tart in my apple. I like a lot of sweet. To me, it's a very sweet fruit. And to get the tartness, I kind of like, I don't enjoy it. You must hate Granny Smith then.
Starting point is 00:15:35 I have no idea. I would say most people, Eric, I'm going to guess you align with most people who would separate apples into two categories. Red and green, right? Okay. Yeah, I feel the same way. I like red. I don't like green. I like green apple candy. Me too, but this is too green tasting to be red.
Starting point is 00:15:56 It's so red on the outside, but it's so green tasting on the inside. It's greener on the inside than the red color. So, Andrew, do you feel like you're really missing out watching us eat all these apples? I'm not only missing out, I'm being pained by the most average apple takes I've ever heard. This is clearly a clueless apple room. It's average. It takes for an average apple.
Starting point is 00:16:15 I wanted to have my dick blown off by this apple. Me too. I really thought it was going to taste like candy. I wanted to get a Cosmic Crisp tattoo, be like the world's biggest Cosmic Crisp stand. It's okay. If I started making this, breeding this in 1997. Yeah. And then all these years later, I said, fruits of my
Starting point is 00:16:32 labor and it just tasted like this apple. I'd be like, yeah, can't do it. You wasted your time. Yeah. 20 years to get this a thing that I could just go to the store and get. We already have this. Well, now I think some of the benefits are right that it keeps a long time. It, you know,
Starting point is 00:16:47 it is very, like the meaty inside is not oxidizing at all. Like at all, at all. And they've been open for a minute. Yeah. It's very big.
Starting point is 00:16:57 Yeah. These are big apples. I wonder if this is considered a medium-sized... That's what they, I think that's what they send us is a sack of meat. I will say,
Starting point is 00:17:04 it's only 100 calories here. I'd hate to see a large one. I mean, that what they send us is a sack of medium-sized It's only 100 calories here. I'd hate to see a large one. I mean, that's 120? Wow, that's a little big. Jeff just held up his hands like the size of a pumpkin. It might be one of the biggest apples I've ever eaten. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 00:17:19 How many calories I skipped lunch for this. In a large That really tickled Nick. How many calories... I skipped lunch for this. In a large... That really tickled Nick. A large apple is 116. 116. Wow.
Starting point is 00:17:35 That's a good snack. What's a banana? Probably more, though, because it's dense. How many calories in a large banana? 121. I'll say this. I will say this for the Cosmic Crisp. One of the things that's a turn off to me on apples is I find the skin to be annoying
Starting point is 00:17:52 in my mouth sometimes. Like it gets stuck around and pokey. I got no skin problems with this apple. The skin is fine. Banana guy is going to talk about texture. Fascinating. I'm not talking about texture. I'm talking about skin.
Starting point is 00:18:03 I also said that it was a positive for this fucking apple. I was complimenting texture, I'm talking about skin. I also said that it was a positive for this fucking apple. I was complimenting this apple. You can't please him today. Well, what's the difference between texture and skin? Isn't it the same thing? Well, he was just saying about how it's feel. You know, I'm going to go deeper. I'm going to see if there's a gradient to the flavor.
Starting point is 00:18:19 I'm going to go towards the center. That's nice. Good. I will say, I think the middle is more tart than the top and the bottom. It's nice. It's good. I will say, I think the middle is more tart than the top and the bottom. It's like the different flavors of a jawbreaker as you get closer to the middle. It looks delicious. I ate the glue. Oh, that's fun.
Starting point is 00:18:35 Did that help? I don't like bananas, and I think if I had a choice between this and a banana, I'd choose a banana. That's how underwhelming this apple is. This is just, when Gavin says bog standard apple. Yeah, I feel like it's not underwhelming for an apple. It's just an apple is underwhelming by default.
Starting point is 00:18:53 And it's only so good that it can be. I'll say this. I think it tastes very fresh. Strongly different. Tastes new. It does. It does taste new. It tastes like a new apple.
Starting point is 00:19:01 It doesn't taste like it was built in the 90s. Two, three, four, five, six, seven. What are we going to do with 8 more apples? I'm sorry, but shit. I'll take one. How? What about Let's hit him with a baseball bat. What about scrump entrapment? I have baseball bats in the back of my car.
Starting point is 00:19:16 Do you really? I do. Let's do one. We can do that. Or what if we did If we slow-mo it for the promo. Oh, that's a good idea. Those videos we used to do in video games called Bum Bait, where you would put somebody in, stand somebody in the corner, and then they would go up to melee them, and then you would run around from behind them and shoot them in the butt with a shotgun? Yeah, with many bars.
Starting point is 00:19:35 What if we Bum Baited with apples? We stuck them around the office, and then when somebody goes up to try to get them, we hit them in the back with a baseball bat. Your idea is to hit someone with a baseball bat? From behind. They'll never know who it was. Oh. I feel like we should just see I feel like we should just see who is a scrumper by nature. See who
Starting point is 00:19:51 scrumps just put them up in the trees. Scrumper by nature now because I hate you. Andrew, did you like that? I will never not be convinced that this wasn't completely designed to just fuck with me. We're in the time. I'm trying to get on board with your interests.
Starting point is 00:20:11 I'm wearing an Apple shirt today, dude. It's true. He is wearing an Apple shirt. I appreciate the Apple content. Yeah. No, I appreciate the Apple content. I flew to Detroit to go to a cider mill just to immerse myself in your world. I can't believe you're so annoyed today.
Starting point is 00:20:26 And then I gave you updates. See, I don't want to get supplemental content. I don't want to get main channel content on supplemental. But I spent a whole day giving you Apple content, and you ignored it and turned your fucking phone off, by the way. I was pretty excited about it. I liked it all. Thank you, Eric.
Starting point is 00:20:37 You were on board. I appreciate it. And Gavin, you shared your sandwiches. I went pastrami. Andrew just gave me two middle fingers. I'm just going to quickly summarize what has happened here. We are reviewing. I have been vocally the only person that thinks an apple is above average.
Starting point is 00:20:52 I think it's the best fruit available. We are reviewing a specific apple I cannot eat. I'm just watching a bunch of people who think apple is at best average eating my favorite fruit. And then they're going to smash the rest of them with a fucking baseball bat Well, what do you want us to get the apple get hold of one? I can't I'd love to I'd absolutely love to you're an apple They look great. I've got no words. This is all designed as a this is a I don't know. This is a prank Okay, you're fucking with me in some way. We got to wrap this up, right? Yeah. This is the full content. It says that it's great for fresh salads and in beverages.
Starting point is 00:21:29 Oh, how would it do in a pastrami sandwich? You know, with the tartness. A nice slice. Yeah. It makes for a floral burp. You know what? I'll tell you that. I'm going to take one for lunch.
Starting point is 00:21:39 It's going to be my sandwich apple. Please take pics. Okay. Well, I think we should go around the room and then leave our final apple impressions. Let's do on a face scale of 1 to 10. Okay. 10 being like the best apple on earth. Right.
Starting point is 00:21:55 1 being the worst apple on earth. Gavin, where do you rate the Cosmic Crisp based on the 75% of the apple that you've eaten thus far? What's the scale? Are we doing numbers? Are you Andrew? What happened? Am I being pranked, Phil?
Starting point is 00:22:18 I was making eye contact when I told you the fucking thing. I was looking right at you. You were looking at me. I told you what the fucking scale was and why! Let me be honest with you. I leant back just back then when I did a little apple burp and I threw up in my... One to ten, guys Hey, hold on. How's an apple burp puke? It was... just tastes like apple. It was just like the last bit. It just came back up.
Starting point is 00:22:45 Yeah. One to ten. Five, six. Six. And how would you rate apples in general? Six. So you think it's a bog standard apple? It's just an apple.
Starting point is 00:22:54 It's just a... No better or worse than any other apple you've ever eaten. I would do apples like this. Every apple is a six out of ten. Including this one. Except Granny Smith, which is six and a half. Eric. Not a big... I mean, apples are fine. including this one, except to Granny Smith, which is six and a half. Eric? Not a big... I mean, apples are fine.
Starting point is 00:23:09 I don't have anything for or against them. I feel like sometimes they give me indigestion. I think they're just okay. Five, like every other apple I've ever eaten that's red. Andrew's going to be livid. Nick? Five, total middle of the road. There are better apples, there are worse apples.
Starting point is 00:23:24 Okay. What's a better apple to you? And where would it rank? Envy apple. At least a seven. And then pink lady? Pink lady's a good apple. About an eight.
Starting point is 00:23:34 Okay. All right. So Nick puts this three below a pink lady. Gavin, you put it.5 below the best apple. Yeah. Eric, you don't give a fuck about apples. Five, it's fine. Andrew, I know you didn't get to taste it, you don't give a fuck about apples. Five, it's fine. Andrew, what would you,
Starting point is 00:23:46 I know you didn't get to taste it, but before I give my impressions, do you want to throw yours just on sight, overall experience watching us eat it? What do you think you'd give this apple?
Starting point is 00:23:56 Are you asking me to hypothetically rate what this delicious-looking apple tastes like? Yeah, Based on the data set that you have in front of you. And based on this information. Okay. So just to like further pour
Starting point is 00:24:11 salt in the wound, you want me to get in the space that I'm actually able to taste this delicious apple and give it a score? Yeah, I would appreciate that. Then when you get one for real we can compare it to the real one. Then we'll see if you were right. I'm gonna give this apple glue content was pretty good. Sticker placement, pretty good.
Starting point is 00:24:27 Size, packaging, solid. Nice shine on the red. Not too waxy. I'd give it an 8 out of 10. 8 out of 10. Okay. 8 out of 10. All right.
Starting point is 00:24:38 The highest score. The guy just went to the half one. I would say I'm a little kinder than these guys. I think the average apple is a 6.85. Just on average. A bog-standard apple is a 6.85. I would give this apple 7.6. I think it's better than an average apple.
Starting point is 00:25:01 I enjoyed it. That's pretty high. I'm going to give it. It's not a full point higher than your average box standard apple, but I would say it's 0.8 higher or so. So, 0.85, whatever that shakes out to be. So, 7.6 is what I give this apple. So, we got a five, we got a six,
Starting point is 00:25:15 we got a five. Andrew gave it an eight. He never even fucking tasted it. He gave it an eight. And I gave it a 7.6. Andrew, when did you start trying to get this apple? Three weeks ago. Average score of 6.32. 6.32
Starting point is 00:25:29 is where the Honeycrisp I'm sorry, the Cosmic Crisp sits on the Apple scale. Should we put it on the leaderboard that we've got? Yeah, we'll need to. That's the first apple to be entered on the leaderboard. We'll have to try another one and see how we throw it up there. We've got baseball speeds and Apple school
Starting point is 00:25:47 Pretty good the Apple board Well, thanks for listening to this a podcast where we Saw podcast this was supplemental podcast content. You're right. This was just a fuck you to me is what it was We just label it a pro has a fuck you there was time. This was just a fuck you to me, is what it was. We could just label it appropriately as a fuck you. There was time. I don't know what you wanted. What did you want me to do? How are we? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:26:12 Not this. Alright, cool. Not this. They didn't want us to rate and review apples the day after they come out. I don't know why we had to do this. We made such a big deal about the Cosmic Crisp coming out. How do we not enjoy it at launch?
Starting point is 00:26:25 Come on, man. You want these to sit for four days? I don't. Yeah. Yeah, you clearly do. You gave it a five. You're like, apples are a five. They are.
Starting point is 00:26:34 You're fine with it sitting. No, because they'll get brown and then it's like... That lasts for a year. If I bought you a ticket to America, would you come and eat the apple? Oh, that's an enticing offer. Wait, where? Where and eat the apple? Oh, that's an enticing offer. Wait, where? Where? Where in America?
Starting point is 00:26:49 How far am I traveling? I don't have to go to fucking Texas to get this apple, theoretically. I could go closer. Too far in the middle and down? It's just, it's, yeah, it's the furthest north I've ever been. So I don't know if I want to make that trip again. Bye. Thank you for tuning in to
Starting point is 00:27:10 Season 2's first supplemental episode of F*** Face. If you're looking to figure out where this fits on the timeline, it's right between episodes 76 and 77. This was not a half episode. But between the recordings of 77 and 78. That is true. It was recorded,
Starting point is 00:27:25 but it was physically recorded between 77 and 78. Who knows when it'll be edited. After Daylight Savings. If, that's true. Sunday was Daylight Savings. So technically it was a week and an hour less.
Starting point is 00:27:35 We fell back. Yeah. So you are one hour behind on the clock. Thanks for listening. It's the night. If you enjoyed this supplemental content
Starting point is 00:27:44 and would appreciate more supplemental content, not half episodes, but supplemental content, let us know. And as always, rate and review. Thanks for listening. Bye. What? I don't.
Starting point is 00:28:03 What do you? It just stopped Hit roll again Yeah, that's right, he can't roll again So this is all, this is all trash I just hit roll again You just told him, hit stop again Why are you hitting stop again? You just said you couldn't roll
Starting point is 00:28:18 You said that you couldn't roll No, I'm rolling again I said I just rolled again And you're like, ah, I can't roll again. No, you said you stopped rolling, and then you said you stopped again. So should we point out that we stopped? Are we recording? We stopped recording.
Starting point is 00:28:35 We had about a minute of chat, and then Andrew said, there will be revenge when referring to this. Not only that, in addition to Andrew losing his mind and getting angrier in that one minute, Gavin got even dumber. Like, Gavin got extra. He was already fucking stupid in this part. He got even dumber.
Starting point is 00:28:53 There's so much going on in the room. There's so many distractions. Usually I'm sat in the dark in my office at home. Andrew's angry and you're stupid. What was the second stupid thing I did? When he gave you the numbers and then it was, uh, right as we ended, what was the conversation that we had that was just like you not paying attention? It just happened again. Again. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:17 Is- is this part of Andrew's revenge? Jesus Christ. Get me out of here. Let's go hit these with a baseball bat. Yeah. All right. I'm going to make a sandwich.

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