Regulation Podcast - Cucumber Content For You // Who Pissed on All the Wallets? [59]

Episode Date: July 14, 2021

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about Gavin's Treadmill shorts, a bunch of pee stories, everyone's regulation salad, and Andrew's room drawings. Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to [e-mail] Sponsored by HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/face14 and use code face14), Hello Tushy (http://hellotushy.com/face), and Honey (http://joinhoney.com/face). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Well, hello and welcome to episode 59 of F*** Face According to Eric. I'm Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew are alive as well, and I sent my salad to you, Eric. You're all of us? What? I said are alive as well. What? Okay. Oh, okay okay it was all very fast i missed it yeah it was very quick i i also missed it i thought we were it's like a being john malkovich situation i thought we were in your head for once i was actually early because i had to come back in and consult andrew about the uh the room layout i had a lot of questions about the room layout

and i wanted to consult Andrew but I decided that I would just go with the information he texted us two days ago. That was the thing. I couldn't remember where I saw that. I was looking in Slack and I came in and I was like, where's that info? He was like, in Slack. And then I had other questions but I felt like unless you were going to receive

the same info, it wouldn't be worth me asking anything. So I just stuck with the information that we're both given. I offered to forward all the answers to Jeff, but still no questions. So I'm excited to see the layout that you've put in. Yeah, I put a lot of effort into it. I think you guys will like it. Let me also say, because I found out that I made a funny joke to Gavin that our podcast

wasn't doing well, and then he thought it wasn't doing well for years and years and years. And well, the podcast is barely a year old, so not quite that long. Just to give you some good news, Gavin, I got an email the other day that said last week's episode, which was, well, this is 59 we're recording.

I think last week's episode was 57 that we released, is on track to be our best performing episode ever. Wow. What happened? That was the cucumbers. It was your wasps, I think. The orgies. No, it was after the

wasps. Cucumbers and orgies is apparently a winning combination. I see. Congratulations. Things are trending up. If our most recent episode is on track to be our best performing episode then that can only mean that the next episode

will probably be a let down I feel it already is we already recorded that one that one's already guaranteed it's in the can it's disappointing yeah all that's done is just put pressure on this one I think yeah yeah also hey if anybody's got, like, we need to hit the cucumber content

and the homeless orgy content hard. So, Andrew, take it away with your next orgy story. Go. Well, I don't have one of those, but I do. I got some cucumber content for you this week, Jeff, that you orchestrated. I feel like the last thing we do on this show is chase trends like yeah i will say you know actually doing it we're gonna pause for one

second you're crediting orgies you're crediting cucumbers i think the real star of this is fucking honey mustard honey mustard has been a constant it's rocketing to the moon honey mustard is the way to go if we could get a spreadsheet of all the views on honey mustard mentioned episodes and see if they trend higher then that's the future i think if we don't make an official like raymond somer honey mustard and release and sell it in stores we have we are not doing our jobs properly i agree isn't that where it all began was andrew wanted to be behind some honey mustard that was yeah well no it was what what was it we're talking about

he just didn't want to make it no i think it was salad cream it went back to the original salad cream conversation of like what's the best condiment and that was the intro to honey mustard and that was the origin story that was the. Yeah, that's how it was created. So we should, this was an interesting start to a podcast. So let's cover what we're going to cover today. Andrew, you've got some cucumber content. Well, I'm excited about that. We have the reveal of our Andrew's bedroom drawings.

We do. I don't know how you feel about yours, Gavin, but I am very jazzed about mine. I worked hard on it. I put probably 25 minutes into it. Dude, I put, I got, I was doing it. Well, I'll just show it to you. I worked hard on it as well.

And I was unhappy with my drawings, so I decided to take it in a different direction. Eric said 25 minutes is too long. I agree. 25 minutes is too long 25 minutes is too long How long would you have spent on it Eric? Less than 3 2 and a half minutes

It sounds like you have time So why don't you whip one up I wasn't unfortunately I wasn't part of the text conversation With all the information I can give you that right now It's one sentence dickhead I can probably go by memory.

Three doors all at the top, bed at the bottom, two windows, one hole where a door should be. Four walls, three doors all at the top. No wall has multiple doors on it, but one has two doorways, two windows, bed at the back. multiple doors on it, but one has two doorways, two windows, bed at the back. I spent at least 45 minutes on it. Started and threw away and restarted a bunch. On top of that,

we have all designed, I found some online salad generator that, by the way, there are a lot of online salad generators, but they're all related to fucking to like stores, like Mad Greens or Wendy's or whatever whatever i don't want to push a corporate giant so i found one that just appears to be like some healthy site and uh i'm not crazy

about the ingredients first of all their idea of salad dressing is ludicrous there's zero salad dressing listed on the salad dressing options the closest thing they had was lime juice or salsa, but the ingredients for salad are there. So we've all, and by all, I mean Gavin, Jeff, Andrew, and I believe Nick have created our salads and sent them to Eric. What we're going to do here is Eric's going to read them blind and then we're going to all try to guess

who made each salad. Then eventually down the road in person, I assume we will make those salads and then share them with each other and then determine which one is the best tasting. Now, I'm not sure if I did mine right, but I didn't try and be funny at all. I just thought, which salad would I really like to eat?

Is that the right way to go about it? Yes, I made the salad out of those ingredients that would taste the best to me. I made a... I went beyond that. I think I made an iconic salad, personally. Oh, God. that would taste the best to me. I went beyond that. I think I made an iconic salad, personally. I knew this was going to happen where Jeff had an idea that was simple,

and then Andrew started sending me stuff that had subtext, and I went, this is going to be the whole episode. I took notes. I saw a comment from one of the, um, one of the many comment leavers that watched, listened to the show and someone I think nailed it with Andrew and his salad is that Andrew has always been trying to make a salad that enhances the cream when you just want the cream to enhance the salad.

And that's exactly what he's done at every point. He's trying to make the ultimate salad to go with his no well okay that was the first attempt was i wanted to make the ultimate a salad a canvas fitting for the paint that is salad cream and you guys rejected that so then the second time i just got a regulation salad and had it a second i don't know what you wanted i tried both things i mean obviously i can't do it the first time twice. I love stuff that's regulation.

It's a regulation salad. What other regulation? It's got to be regulation. It's got to be standard regulation. It has to be. Otherwise, there's no point. It's all like regulations and standards.

And we got the standard ears, the standard windows, the regulation salad. There's lots of rules. You could almost make some sort of legal document around this podcast. Yeah, we just cut the rules

according to f*** face. Yeah, exactly. Some comment leaver should make that. I asked questions about the salad. I'm the only one, Jeff. You presented this idea

and to be clear, this is my cucumber content. I assume that you saw the cucumber numbers and were like, we need to introduce vegetables to this show in some way. That was my connection

of that's why we're making salads. I sent this to you i i was just thinking about it i was thinking about it and i thought like oh that's a funny idea and then i sent it here's here's how my brain works i sent it in the slack and then you guys all responded kind of quickly and like positively and then in a way that thought oh no i bet this is an idea that we had months and months ago that we already submitted to the Slack and I forgot about and now I'm trying to claim it as my idea and this is probably an old idea and at some point they're going to bring it up

and be like, dickhead, you stole this six months ago. We already did this or something. And so I've been paranoid ever since I submitted, and which reminds me why I'm paranoid sometimes to submit ideas to the show because I'm scared that i'm stealing them from the show from the past and you guys are gonna make fun of me for it i feel like that was a much bigger problem when you were drunk where we would have a conversation i'd be like oh

what if we did this and then like a month later you'd be like shit let's do this and we would end up doing it but i'd be like i'm pretty sure i'm pretty sure we had this idea a month ago i uh i also uh i think we could talk about the break show yeah we could talk about i came up with some bath some minor minor bathroom insights that i could cover we uh we recently gavin and i had a hangout and in that period uh there was we had a moment in the bathroom we could talk about uh and then unfortunately, because Gavin and I hung out on Sunday, it rained every day after that. We had plans to film the extreme bicycle stunt on Wednesday. And I rode out Wednesday morning. I got up at like 7 in the morning on Wednesday and rode my bike out there to check out the scene, to practice and stuff. And it was still,

it's still, at that point, it was still a drainage ditch. You know, it's a drainage ditch. So it was still draining. And it's not an aqua. It's not an aqua trick. So we were unable to record it,

which really sucks because we're recording these episodes back to back. So I think in the first episode, we said we were going to do this and now it'll be three episodes later and we still haven't done it yeah unfortunately there's so much going on this is this episode feels like a table of contents where it's like direction we it could almost be a choose your own podcast direction we're recording

two right we're going to record this one in the one right after it so whatever we don't choose we'll choose the next episode. I assume Gavin and Andrew, you guys have a ton of shit too, outside of cucumber content. I will say that that answered one of my main questions going into this is if you film the bike trick. I texted Gavin, I think on Saturday,

that it was the highlight of my weekend knowing that you may be doing this at any moment and just hoping that it came together. Like anytime I was doing anything, I could be making lunch and in my head I was like, Jeff could be filming a bike trip. He could be trying to do a BMX stunt. The funny thing about that is the original plan was to do it on the weekend on Saturday. But then I saw Gavin all day Friday at the break show. And then I knew we were hanging out Sunday

because we were going to go to the movies. So I just didn't think about Saturday. Three days in a row would have been excessive. And I completely forgot about it. And he never texted me to say, hey, are we going to film this thing? And so I never texted him. We probably could have done it Saturday. Yeah, we made the mistake of hanging out first. And now we have to wait out the probably the next 10 days of rain. The ramifications. Yeah.

Yeah. So that leads to my second question. How was the D-Box family? Did you guys come together? Was it a good time? That was the other thing that got me excited. So it was even better than D-Box. It Did you guys come together? Was it a good time? That was the other thing that got me excited. So it was even better than D-Box. It was 4DX.

Eric, what were your thoughts on it? What is 4DX? I never thought that I would be a guy who would watch a movie that had water sprayed at you and smoke shot at the screen and the seat shaking the whole time and walk out and go go that was the best thing i've ever seen cinema be damned they just made it a universal studios ride what's funny is that you you walk in and it looks like someone's like screwed an entire janitor's closet onto the walls up at the top there's like fans there's all these boxes and

like pipes and lights and stuff it looks like an absolute mess and that's all the tools for the movie and then the lights go down there's smoke all over the movie but it kind of doesn't work because it's immensely distracting to see all the movie covered up and also it's rear projected so you're seeing the movie like all messed up on top of this. There's flashes. The seats are swinging all around. There's water in your face. It ruled. There's a there's a button to turn water on and off.

There's if we were like sort of in, you know, like the seventh or eighth row. So we were like past sort of like the flat four rows in the front. Those rows when there was smoke could not see a thing. They were waving their arms to move the smoke so they can continue watching a movie. And it was futile. It was, it creates such a rowdy environment. Like everyone in there was just screaming at the top of their lungs.

Like stuff would happen. And Eric would be like, why is going on at the top of his lungs? And it was just perfectly fine. Like it was the right place and the right people to see that movie with. It was phenomenal. Then I saw the movie again without any of that. And it was a bit quiet in there. Let me say something. I didn't, I saw the movie with without any of that and uh it was a bit quiet in there let me say something i

didn't i i saw the movie with you on sunday i didn't get to experience the d-box trip however i did get to see something that i think might be as good as that and that is when the break show was over uh tim g rolled to pick you guys up uh right outside to take you to the movie and i got to see tim g roll up in a Subaru Outback with cool guy sunglasses and then get out and go, oh, hold on a second. And then get out and take car seats out of the back to make room for you guys so that

you can peel out to go to your super cool movie together. And that in itself, I just stopped and I watched that until you guys left. And then I went about my business. That was better than the D-Box, I'm pretty sure. I wish you could have come because, unfortunately, the seats that move are I'm pretty sure. I wish you could have come because unfortunately the seats that move are in like rows of four. You'd like buy a four block

and we had it was like full. But then we went and got Coronas before we went and saw the movie. What a day. What an experience. It was really I had a great time and Tim G's on a kick right now where we were even commenting on it where we just went wow man you really leaned into like the dad slash off duty cop look.

He's got he's got a full on mustache. Yeah, he does. A tie dye shirt that says gazpacho season. Some shorts, new ballot shoes. And man, that's a big old mustache. Like, it's really he's got it. He's boy, it's a big old mustache. It's something.

And Gavin was, and it was Gavin's laundry day, so he was dressed like a cool guy as well. It was awesome. You had a real, and Andrew had a real problem with my shorts

during the last break shit. It's not you. They're not you, man. You wear salmon colored button up shorts. That's all you own. That's all you should own. Look, sometimes

I gotta do laundry, all right? Sometimes I gotta wear shorts that I wear on a treadmill or on a walk. I understand. Just don't do it in public again. No, it makes sense. It was weird seeing you in active shorts. It was weird seeing him in active shorts. It really was.

I don't know why. I don't know why. You're an active dude. I lived with you off and on for years and years and years. I must have seen you in like basketball shorts before. You might not have. I just can't remember it. And it was so shocking.

It was so out of character. I can't even imagine Gavin shooting a basketball like that visual in my mind. It's just very weird to me. I feel like I let you guys down by showing up in these shorts. Here's the thing with Gavin in sports. He's probably great at British sports, but we gotta keep him away from American sports. I'm sure you've heard the story of the very first time he threw

a baseball to my daughter and hit her in the face and split her lip. Well, okay. Is that Gavin's fault? Or is that your daughter's fault? Well, she was like five or six, and he chucked it at her like he was Nolan Ryan Overhand he was a wind-up Tutorial level I was receiving the instructions about how do people pitch they just throw it straight at the person with the

Glove or the bat and you're like yeah, it's still like this I did it and I just hit a five-year-old girl skull and I don't think I've ever thrown one since At her skull I did it and I just hit a five-year-old girl's skull. And I don't think I've ever thrown one since. You threw it at her skull. Well, that's where the glove was. Luckily, she lived and she's mostly fine. And I think almost forgiven me for it. Yeah, I think she's forgiven you at this point.

I don't know if she's forgiven Andrew yet for not watching that final Leprechaun movie with her though it's not my fault I wanted to watch it she told me she told me one night she was like hey I'm gonna do you mind I'm gonna watch Leprechaun because we were gonna watch Survivor or something she's like I'm gonna watch that final Leprechaun movie with Andrew and I was like oh okay glad you guys are finally doing it and she goes yeah me too I'm super excited

and then later I checked on it and I was like hey I thought you were gonna watch that movie with Andrew and she goes oh he cancelled he's too busy getting ready for F*** Face and I was like, hey, I thought you were going to watch that movie with Andrew. And she goes, oh, he canceled. He's too busy getting ready for F*** Face. And I was like, ooh. Oh, yikes. No, what day was that? There were multiple attempts. I reached out one day that she didn't see the message.

We've gone back and forth. We'll eventually get there. I'd love to watch it. I'm excited about it. I just want you both to know that you've disappointed my daughter in different ways. That's great. I feel like whenever I hear about F*** Face face through millie it's always about the inconvenience that is the recording of face and how it's getting in the way and it's loud it is very inconvenient emily

actually uh she was telling me the other day she was like you guys need to do a short at rooster teeth that's just all of the girlfriends and spouses and kids that are like dealing with fridge repairmen while they hear uh while in another room they hear an adult man screaming fuck my anus or whatever you know and she's like it's like it could just cut to all the different like all the different spouses going while while we're on um we were still on f9 and stuff and that that would lead us to our bathroom incident jeff what was going on well and I, I assume in a similar fashion, I had to pee one second into the movie.

I have a real problem with, I just hate getting up in a cinema and leaving the movie that I paid to watch. Because you missed big chunks of it. So I've always been one to hold it in. But it's really bad for you. Not only that, but I felt an extra pressure because we went, Alfredo,

who works at a Chima Hunter with us, he and Jackie, but I felt an extra pressure because we went, uh, Alfredo, uh, who works at a, a Chima Hunter with us, he, he, uh, and Jackie, his,

his, uh, girlfriend, they rented out a theater to watch fast nine. And so the only people in the theater were our friends and people that we know. And there was maybe 20 of us. So I felt like an extra pressure, like I'm not going to be the,

nobody was getting up to go to the bathroom. I'm not going to be the only one to do it. The do it the first one and so i just held it in the entire and by the way that is a long movie apparently way longer when you're when you're up to your eyeballs and urine it's like two and a half hours i assumed gavin did the same thing so the second the credits rolled i was i speedy gonzalo's out of the chair there was like a puff of smoke and uh i look around and g Gavin's doing the same thing running. So I was like, well, I can't let him beat me to the bathroom. So it was a foot race.

And then we got there and we were the only two people in the bathroom. There was this giant row of like 20 urinals. Well, first I was I was doing that like speed hobble where you don't want to like run because your bladder will pop. But you're kind of hunched and running. But then Jeff hid behind the wall and he was trying to jump out at me. Oh, I forgot about that. And then he's like, were you trying to like poke me

or like shove a finger up my ass or something? I was trying to scare the pee out of you. Yeah, you jumped at me and I was just like, I just really had to hold it. I was like, I've got pee so bad. And then you were like, me too. And we just sort of,

we stopped messing with each other. We were both on the same page and we both ran to the bathroom. And then so we went to opposite ends and we just sort of we stopped messing with each other we were both on the same page and we both ran to the bathroom and then so we went to opposite ends and we started peeing and it didn't intend it to be this but it turned into a race to see who had more pee in them and who could pee longer and i don't know about you but that was probably in my top 15 longest peas in my life it was probably in my top three I don't think I've pissed that long in maybe a decade. I, at one point,

I couldn't stop. Like, I was like, I was looking at my dick and I was like, is this a joke? Like, there can't be this much pee. And it's still going and it's a decent stream too.

And I'm looking at Gavin and he's still going and I'm thinking like, okay, well, at least it's not weird. But then at some point, Gavin stopped and I kept going and I was starting to get a little scared like like what do you do if you never stop pee right like I started to think like do I call do I have Gavin call a doctor and get advice like do I like we like hook some sort of a bucket to the end of my dick so that I can move around I can walk and still pee it was and

then I stopped eventually there's so much unspoken when you're peeing when two people start peeing at the same time it's just a normal piss it's a normal experience until both people subconsciously realize that these pisses have been going on a really long time I had that realization when I was about

halfway through I still had about half of it left in the tank at one point we kind of both had that realization at the same time and i just looked over to the other end of the bathroom and i could see jeff's little head as we're both just pissing for so long we're just both laughing while we were pissing it's such a weird moment but i loved it it was so great it was a really weird like funny it was wholesome in a way wholesome bonding friendship moment and all the whole time I was giggling like

a fucking nine-year-old all I can think of is this is gonna be so weird if somebody walks in the bathroom and Gavin and I are just giggling like children while we pee on the opposite sides of the bathroom from each other and luckily we had the bathroom to ourselves for a good six or seven minutes nobody ever came in it was

it was great. The moment wasn't spoiled. Everyone was talking about the movie. They were like wrapping up the conversation so we hadn't even been there. It's true. People were saying their goodbyes. Hey, what did everybody think of the movie? I left the bathroom almost out of breath.

I loved it. It was really hard work what a fast like i'm trying to think like what are longest recorded pisses in human history i'm just like even like film history i'm thinking austin powers there's that extended piss sequence yeah he has some breaks though there's that uh adam sandler comedy bit on his first album i'm not aware of that one. Oh, it's an audio thing. Yeah, it's just like him. He can't stop pissing for like an hour. It's a whole thing.

I see. Okay. And you live that. This is your life. This is inspired by you at this time. Yeah, I guess we live that. Connect to that content in a deeper level. Anyway, Gavin, I just want to say on record that's the most fun I've had peeing in years. And I'm really, really glad that I got to pee with you for a long time,

and that it was such a fun, funny pee. And if you ever want a long pee again, let me know. I know it's hard to recreate magic, but man, I'd be willing to try it. Yeah, I feel like we could try, but it felt like a one-off. I just really loved it. It did feel like one-off. Almost no words were spoken we were just experiencing it we both found it funny at the same moment oh it was magic yeah it was it was what it's it's the oh it's the kind of moment you can only have between two friends that have

known each other for more than a decade i think what was the previous most amount of fun you've had pissing jeff because this is this over this took the position of something else what is number two I don't think I have like a I probably am there's probably a lot that don't come to mind that I'm forgetting or I'm blanking on right now I've peed in a lot of nefarious ways

especially when I was younger you know and yeah more that I went on that security guard once didn't you no yeah you did that's a great i did great on the security guard that sounds fun i was gonna yeah no that's a good one uh i was thinking of a worse one uh yeah no uh i mean i i don't know do i tell these stories is it okay to tell this story because i've told it on other roost teeth podcast is it you've told the the security guard one on this podcast oh well then i don't have to tell

it again there you go what's the worst one though uh yo did you pee on his kids that would be worse no i didn't pee on his kids i was thinking about the time i peed in that guy's duffel bag before he went to the airport i don't know that one i was was roommates with this guy. I was roommates with this guy in journalism school at Fort Ben Harrison, who was such a prick. And I tried to like him a lot. I'm not going to say his name. I'm not going to do anything. All the things that I hate about him are super identifying, so I won't say them. But I will say that he was I tried really hard to like him. And he was just a just a cocky

prick. And he he was never nice to me and always rude. And he graduated journalism school, as we all most of us did eventually. And he went on to his duty station wherever that was in the army. And please take into consideration, I am a 46 year old man now. I'm a different person. I was 18 at the time. I was a very dumb, very inexperienced, very volatile 18 year old man now i'm a different person i was 18 at the time i was a very dumb very inexperienced very a volatile 18 year old and so i i was talking to him the night before he was packing up his duffel bag and uh you know because you throw everything into your duffel bag and then you lock it and then you take off uh and you carry that around the airport or whatever and so he was like yeah i'm getting up i gotta get up pretty early. My flight's at like 7 a.m., so I'm gonna leave the room at like 5 a.m.

So, uh, to meet the, you know, driver or whatever. So you want to say, you know, best of luck. It was nice being a roommate with you for six months or whatever. And I was like, yeah, okay, cool. So I got up at 4 a.m. before he got up. And while he was still asleep, I opened up

his duffel bag. He hadn't locked it yet. And in it were his class A shoes, which are like army dress shoes. And I took them in the bathroom and I peed in them a little bit. And then I put them back in the duffel bag. And then I put all his clothes back in. And then for good measure, I just peed in the duffel bag a little bit. And then I shut it up. And then I went back to bed.

And I never talked to him or saw him again. I assume he figured it out at some point. Not something I would do now. I bet not. When did you think he realized? Well, probably when he opened up the duffel bag when he got there. Maybe he just thought a dog at the airport

pissed in it or something. Maybe he thought a dog in the airport. But, you know, that was also was also like urine was commonplace like these are a bunch of like these are 18 19 year old kids that are fucking living in military barracks they can't go anywhere so they get they just do dumb shit like a week before that i remember this just popped into my head we we shared a bathroom with like suite mates and there were two other dudes on the other side a week before that i was woken up other dudes on the other side. A week before that, I was woken up at 2 in the morning by screaming and

laughing and I ran into the other room and one of these guys, one of the two guys I know was laughing while another guy was trying to beat him up and they were both naked and figured out what happened was the guy came in

drunk and he thought it would be funny to piss on his roommate's head while he was sleeping. And so the roommate woke up because he was getting pissed on in the head. And so he was angry. And he started beating the shit out of the guy. The other guy was just drunk and laughing and still pissing. And so there was like a tangle of urine and 19-year-old or 22-year-old dudes or however old they were just rolling around.

One of them was screaming and trying to kill the other one. And however old they were just rolling around one of them was screaming and trying to kill the other one the other one's just laughing his fucking ass off still peeing and so that kind of shit happened all the time I love the phrase that

someone woke up because they were getting pissed on in the head I had dude I had it people do weird shit in the army I went on a trip one time to go surfing at Port Aransas with some friends of mine, the guy that taught me how to surf army trip, right? This

is when I was stationed at Fort Hood. And I woke up in the middle of the night because one of my friends was laughing and it was like loud. And I woke up and one of my friends, this guy, Dale had gotten really, really drunk. We were all drunk, you know, we were kids. And, uh, and he had taken all of our wallets and he had put them in the corner of a moat. We were all drunk. You know, we were kids. And he had taken all of our wallets and he had put them in the corner of a motel. We were like staying at like a Motel 6. And he had put them all in the corner of the room and was just pissing on them.

His wallet, my wallet, my friend Mike's wallet, my friend Pete's wallet. He just put them in a pile and was just pissing on our wallets. Still to this day, I don't know why he did it. He was like blackout drunk. He just thought it would be a funny thing to do. Such a weird decision.

Didn't remember doing it in the morning. Had no memory of it. I have so much respect that he put his in the pile too. His was in there too. His was in there too. He's like, I'm going to make it fair. It's like A, who pisses on a wallet, B, who pisses on all the walls in front of us like i'm

waking people up like pete what's going on dale stop it what are you doing man he's like what he had no fucking clue it was like he was like sleep drunk pissing but he was laughing when he did it was fucking weird man i when you piss on somebody when you use piss as a weapon and you piss on the head of someone and they go for the attack and you keep pissing it's a great move it's really hard to counter like how are you gonna go after him yeah that's what i'm well i know it's hard for the guy to stop but i'm saying like what when you go to punch him you're just gonna get peed on more the guy just wins like you don't lose even if you're gonna beat up you're continuing to win because you're pissing on the person it's really hard to get in non-pissing range for an attack like oh yeah

it would be different i don't want to go off on a tangent but i probably have four or five i probably you're pissing on the person. It's really hard to get in non-pissing range for an attack. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It would be different. I don't want to go off on a tangent, but I probably have four or five, I probably have more pissing stories, too, about the army. It's a urine-filled environment. It sounds like Eric wants us to get away from pissing onto the salad and drawing stuff. Maybe we can

have some piss next week. That's okay. I think we've covered enough pee. I think enough people were covered in pee in this episode that we can just move on. Wherever you're going, you better believe American Express

will be right there with you. Heading for adventure? We'll help you breeze through security. Meeting friends a world away? You can use your travel credit. Squeezing every drop out of the last day? How about a 4pm late checkout? Just need a

nice place to settle in? Enjoy your room upgrade. Wherever you go, we'll go together. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamx. Benefits vary by card. Terms apply. Do you guys want to do the room? I think we end on the room and start do the salad now what do you think let's do that okay all right

okay eric you want to hop on and uh read the i guess we should take notes right on there's gonna be four salads there will be four salads ladies and gentlemen. I have four salads that I'm going to be sharing with you today. Thank you so much for joining me for a salad segment of F*** Face. I'll be reading four salads. I think instead of you guys, do we guess right away after I give you what the salads are? Or do you write them down and then we guess? Do we go one, two, three, four? Or what would you like to do?

I think we do one at a time. Okay. Then we move to the next one. So we won't know all the salads before making the guess. Correct. I guess then, yeah, it'll narrow down who has what, but it's just a lot of ingredients to remember for going all four at once. I think you just read them,

and I'm going to write down my impressions as you go. Okay, okay. Well, here's the first salad. I won't say who it is, obviously. Jeff has used a salad generator that we are all supposed to use and have used, and there's a lot here, so bear with us. Also, dressing, I think, will not factor in because the dressings that were on this site were insane and weird, so do not—so please ignore that there's no dressing. I mean, it's not generator in that it's random. You pick the ingredients, and it generates the recipe.

Yes, correct, which is really just the recipe of here are all of these things, tear them up and put them in a bowl. Put them in a bowl, yeah. First salad. Greens. Romaine. Watercress. Iceberg lettuce.

Vegetables. Carrots. Celery. Cucumber. Tomato. Radish. Mushroom. Fruit. Apples. Protein. Eggs. Celery, cucumber, tomato, radish, mushroom, fruit, apples, protein, eggs, grains, corn, yummify, pine nuts, goat cheese, croutons.

That is salad number one. Okay. Hmm. Okay. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Salad. Are you ready for salad? Now, are you ready for salad? Now, are you guys writing things down? Should I move on to salad number two? I've written who I initially think it is. Okay. Now I'm gonna, you know, and that opinion might change based on subsequent salads.

Okay. Okay. Did you guys, did Andrew, Gavin, did you guys do the same thing? Yeah, I took some notes. And just to be clear, these are four salads. It's myself, Gavin, Jeff, and Nick. Correct. Correct.

Okay. Second salad. Greens. Spinach. Vegetables. Tomato. Bell pepper. Avocado.

Mushroom. Fruit. None. Protein. Chicken. Grains. Corn. There's a little mix up here.

Dressing. Salsa. Guacamole. Yummify. Cheese and cr little mix up here. Dressing. Salsa. Guacamole. Yummify. Cheese and croutons. Okay. Very different from the last salad. Incredibly different from the last salad.

Yeah. Okay. Yep. Here, I, oh boy. How am I going to, okay. Here we go. Here we go. I'm going to go ahead and put Andrew for this one.

This is, uh. Let's go to Andrew. Here is, here it is. Here we go. Reading it. I'm going to go ahead and put Andrew for this one. This is... Go to back to Andrew. Here it is. Greens. Boston lettuce. Vegetables. Bell peppers. Boston. That's not the only greens.

You okay, Eric? You all right, Eric? The point of the game... You're missing a green, sir. The point of the game missing agrees there into the game I had already written down his name the second Eric said oh boy The second Eric said oh boy. I wrote that Andrew I'm gonna start at the top because it's all out of order, and I'm just gonna read these ingredients

Why don't you just do a screenshot? I listen this is a screenshot. I screenshotted it I just I thought that was easier to read what I say. It's not here. It is probably not raisins bell peppers may to read what I say it's not here it is probably not raisins bell peppers kidney beans chicken cheddar cheese Boston lettuce steak orange cashews corn blueberries broccoli spinach you're leaving out some very important details of this salad. I can only read the ingredients and then you can tell everyone about your idea. Okay. Here is

the last. This is it. So it was so difficult to parse that. Here is the last salad. Okay. Greens romaine, vegetables, carrots, cucumber, tomato Vegetables, carrots, cucumber, tomato, radish, mushroom,

red cabbage. Fruit, none. Protein, chickpeas and chicken. Grains, none. Yummify, sunflower seeds, bacon, cheese, and croutons. Those are the four salads for F*** Face.

If you want to make those salads and then eat them, can you take a picture and send it to us? Because I, especially the third one that I read, starts with raisins. I love Andrew just stepping into the mystery salad and breaking it. That's not all the greens.

Those are the greens. Don't forget the spinach the spinach is very important to the salad okay well I have mine written down Gavin do you have yours Andrew do you have yours

okay yeah just what do you mean like predicting who made what who do you believe was salad number one that's with the romaine

watercress iceberg lettuce the standouts are pine nuts goat cheese croutons really and eggs to me i wrote down nick okay uh andrew do you have a guess i originally wrote down nick and then i swapped the gap okay and gavin do you have a guess i do uh-huh and what's your guess it was me damn it that was damn it i got that one wrong gavin's salad that was a tough one i would eat that it sounds good it does that sounded like i i like the uh the eggs in every That was... Damn it, I got that one wrong. Gavin's Salad. That was a tough one.

I would eat that. It sounds good. It does. That sounded like... I like the eggs and everything in there. Very, very interesting. Very, very interesting. I do need to specify I want the mushrooms raw. Okay.

Yeah, obviously. Mushrooms gotta be raw. Okay. What is the name of your salad? What's the name of it? Uh-huh. A salad needs a name. I feel like that's a key part of salad criteria.

You need a name for your salad. Right. With this thing that Andrew invented, it needs a name. I got a name. I got a name. I feel like that's a key part of salad criteria. You need a name for your salad. Right. With this thing that Andrew invented, it needs a name. I got a name. I got a name. Every salad has a name. Regulation salad. That's a good name.

It's a great name. Incredible. It's a great name. So that's the regulation salad. The second salad, spinach. This is the one with the salsa and guacamole, cheese and crouton, the corns, the chicken, no fruit. The second salad, spinach. This is the one with the salsa and guacamole, cheese and crouton, the corns, the chicken, no fruit. The second salad. I went for Nick on this one.

Okay. And Andrew? It is a topping. Yeah, I went Nick. There's a lot of dressing. Okay. And Jeff? I went with Gavin, but obviously I think Nick is the answer.

And the answer is Nick. Yeah, absolutely. Okay. Now onto the third salad. I wrote down Andrew. Oh, absolutely. Okay, now onto the third salad. I wrote down Andrew. Okay, I mean, to refresh your memory, this is the one that starts with raisins. Raisins and oranges.

Gavin, do you have a guess on the third salad? I went with Mr. Panton. Okay, and Andrew, do you have a guess also on the third salad? That would be my salad. This would be my creation. What's the name of your salad? Well, this is an important... I wanted to honor somebody who is close to this show.

A real icon just in the world in general. This is called the Dinner Zimmer Salad. This is the ingredients as I sent to Eric. I have taken every place he has worked and I have sourced an ingredient that is local to that place. When you think of these places, these ingredients apply to those places.

They're iconic. I will take any questions. And also, I think it's sort of cowardly to not have a dressing. It's a key part of the salad, even if we're not using the spreadsheet or whatever. So it is served. And this is my honey mustard mention. Honey mustard vinaigrette. I already got honey mustard in earlier,

but this is my guarantee. Gonna mention honey mustard. The dinner Zimmer. But I must point out that once again, we were trying to make, like, we're trying to make just a good base salad. This is a salad that I would eat. Okay.

All right. So then salad, salad four, it sounds like is pretty obviously my salad. Yeah, that is the one with the sunflower seeds,

the bacon crouton, chickpeas. I was 100%. Way to go. Yeah, you and Andrew both were 100%. Yeah.

Congratulations. I was the only one. Way to go. Yeah, congratulations guys. Boston lettuce, huh? Yeah.

Yeah. So, so then Gavin, you're official. I don't, Nick's not here so we can't ask him his salad name unless he included it. He did, he? Yeah. So then, Gavin, you're officially... Nick's not here, so we can't ask him his salad name, unless he included it. He did not. Okay. So we're gonna call... So Gavin's is called

Regulation Salad? Is that right? And Andrew, yours is called the Dinner Zimmer Salad? The Dinner Zimmer. Okay. Well, that's interesting. I had a name as well. Funny how our naming conventions tend to overlap. My salad is called the Regulation Zimmer Salad.

So that's interesting. You came up with that two seconds ago. Oh, no, no. I came up with it before that. Interesting. Yeah. oh no no it's uh i came up with it before that interesting yeah i'm gonna send uh this is this was my full notes for my salad i mean what you said wasn't no no no no that was he said this unprovoked with no explanation well okay what happened was i was gonna edit a few things when i sent it but when you hit enter in slack it just sends happened was I was going to edit a few things when I sent it, but when you hit enter in Slack, it just sends the message.

I was trying to drop down, so I just said, whoops, I still have stuff I want to add. I mean, you can edit on Slack. You can edit that post. I don't, you know, I don't know how to do that. It seems like work. Well, I wanted a drop down. How do you do the drop down without hitting enter, without submitting? What do you mean the drop down?

You see how it's like one line, dodgers next line chicago shift enter oh really that's how you do that well i think in every field everywhere that's how you get down a line yeah that would be correct without i didn't know that okay this is my notes these are the full extensive notes of my salad i did a lot of research. I thought a lot about it. Texas Rangers George Foreman sponsored a grill steak. Well, George Foreman was born in Texas. He's a Texas icon.

When you think of George Foreman, you think of the George Foreman grill. Name a better thing to grill than a steak. Texas is steak. New York Yankees, nuts for nuts. Cashews. Don Zimmer seemed like a nuts guy. He seemed like a nuts dude. So these are just your justifications for these things.

Yeah, this is why these things are what they are. I could see Don Zimmer going to the stadium, getting a nut, getting some nuts from the vendor. There's a bunch of vendors, nut for nuts, the leading vendor in New York for nuts. New York Mets. King of Queens. Kevin James loves pizza.

End result, tomato. Yeah, well, the New York Mets, they're based in Queens. So I went to the King of Queens. And if you search Kevin James food, you get a bunch of photos of him eating pizza. The guy loves pizza. So to honor the King of Queens, don zimmer played or was him yeah i think he's a player for the mets got a tomato i like that eric thought that 25 minutes was too much time to invest in recreating uh by drawing andrew's room andrew has clearly put days of work

into this this was this was like no this was you wanted me, you said the salad thing. I put the time in. I felt, I appreciate it. It's not a criticism of you. I appreciate you, the effort that you've put into this. Washington senators,

Washington, they were a DC, DC. When I think of DC, you think of Daniel Cormier, one of the greatest MMA fighters of all time. Guy loves Popeyes. Got to go with chicken.

Did a whole music video about popeyes chicken dancing about it it's a clear chicken take i don't know what you want name something more californian than california raisins but you can't oranges i i always think of oranges with california you didn't even use oranges there i think i didn't need to oranges there. I think of Florida for oranges. I got the Montreal Expos. Classic restaurant, the orange tulip. It's a giant orange.

They serve orange products. Hot dogs. Iconic staple of Montreal. Didn't need it. Classic restaurant. I'm exhausted by that. Yeah. What was your Tampa ingredient?

John Cena loves broccoli. Broccoli. So John Cena born in Tampa. Clearly he's big right now in the fast movies he's part of the family in general we love some John Cena what's the ingredient from that place let me think of someone who likes something from there I don't understand John Cena's from Massachusetts

is he? yeah he's from Massachusetts let's do cause I Googled people. Oh, no. He was born. He's built from West Newbury, Massachusetts, which is not Boston. But that's where he's, I'm pretty sure, born and raised.

John Cena. Well, let's see. Maybe he went to Florida once. No, he was born. He was. Oh, I got it. He was in that movie Sisters, and that took place in orlando so maybe that's what you're thinking of oh i gotta i could have i searched famous people that

were born in tampa bay known for i guess maybe i didn't well that's disappointing i'm gonna have to reevaluate i going to have to reevaluate. I'm going to have to reevaluate Tampa. I would not recommend searching what John Cena's favorite food is. It goes a place you would not anticipate. Oh. It's a whole thing. Good to know. So you can't find the documentation that you found initially that says he's from Tampa?

No, I cannot. I don't know where I got that from I I guess I'll look into it I'm sure I read it somewhere I didn't just come up with Tampa Bay John Cena I was very excited about that too what a disappointment of a reveal that is hmm I feel like that really undercuts my salad. That really hurts the theme of it. Oh, man. I'm sorry, buddy. That's sad. I still think I have the best. Oh, fuck. Are you telling I'm older than John Cena?

Yeah. What do you mean? Yeah. Is that surprising to you? He's an action movie star. He seems like such a. Well, so is Liam Neeson, dumbass. He seems like such a grown up to me.

Reynolds. You think John Cena is a grown up? He seems like such a grown-up to me Reynolds you think John Cena is a grown-up he seems like a grown-up to me yeah like he's he worked for like he's a pro wrestler and like dress like a giant toddler what I didn't he did dress like a giant toddler

however uh he feels like a grown-up to me it's the same problem I have with Fast and the Furious. He's supposed to be Vin Diesel's younger brother, and I just can't make it make sense that he's younger than Vin Diesel. I know he is. Really? But in my head, Vin Diesel's like, I don't know, like a 22-year-old in an old dude's body.

Are you serious? What the fuck? What a weird... In my head, Vin Diesel's like 55. He is about 55, yeah. I just think of him forever as like... I don't know. You don't think of him...

I don't think of him as a grown-up. I don't know. What a weird thing that is. I guess. Why? Why do you not view him... Is it like how he looks? I guess so.

I don't know. I don't know what it is. He just like... Maybe it's because... It's boyish charm. Maybe it's because most of my Vin Diesel has been Vin Diesel in Fast

and the Furious and he his character wears the same clothes in one as he does in nine and so in one he's like 19 and in nine he's 80 and he's still wearing the same like it's not 19 and one how old is he in one?

I gotta be in his 30s I'd say late 20s to early 30s in the story 1? I gotta be in his 30s. I'd say late 20s to early 30s. In the story, he's supposed to be in his 30s? Oh, in the story, I'd say mid-20s would be my guess. Mid to late, once again. How old is Vin Diesel? I mean, they got a show's driver license at some point. I liked in the new one

where they do a flashback to 1989 and I just looked at Vin Diesel's character and just thought, Vin Diesel wishes he looked like that in 1989. Wasn't he selling shark toys in 1989? I feel like Jeff just constantly has Vin Diesel shark toys. Vin Diesel

as is how old he is. What are the shark toys called? You know what I'm talking about, Eric? I feel like you're the only one. The shark toys. They're called street sharks. They were Jawsome. Thank you.

Yeah. Jawsome. Yeah, this is great. Let's drop this in. I feel like in Jeff's head, this is how old. So are we cutting all this part out or what's going on? Like, this isn't. Like, I can't imagine.

This is just Andrew going shark toys, shark toys, shark toys, and Jeff going, how old is Vin Diesel in Fast, there's no way this makes sense. Not Vin Diesel, how old is Dominic Toretto in season, in the first movie? Season one. Season one of Fast and Furious. I guess he kind of did look like that. That was a pretty accurate portrayal of him as a youngster then. I Google how old is Dominic Toretto in The Fast and Furious and 40 is the first thing that pops up. 40 as of the eighth film.

Yeah, look at this. How old is... Okay, this is a screen... Look at those two pictures. That's why I don't think he's a grown-up. Because he's still wearing the same clothes he was wearing. He's still wearing the same shirt he was wearing when he was 19 the only thing that's the same is the shirt everything else has aged rapidly well obviously he looks completely different i think but i think of him i don't think

of him as a grown-up i think of him as a man child i'm not saying i don't think of him as old i just don't think of him as a grown-up this is the weirdest tangent we've had i don't understand why it's weird there's lots of people that are old that I don't think of as like old. And there's lots of people that are young that I think of as like being a grown up is all about like how you carry yourself. It's about you. Yeah, I get that. Oh, Dom's date of birth, August 29th, 1976. Yeah, I saw that.

There you go. OK. So when did the first movie come out? I have. Well, the year it came out doesn't represent necessarily what year the story took place in what year did the story take place i have no idea year was i don't think it was a period piece i think it was in the in the time came out you think that every so the year of the movie is the year of the story of the of as well like they're connected. I think we can assume that they're close. Okay. Hmm.

Minus 19. This whole bit. This whole bit. This IQ, we have to cut this out. Like, what is this? According to this, no, cut it out. That's fine. According to this, he was about 20, according to the story, he should have been about 25 years old in Fast 1.

It's not, I don't think your point is weird, Jeff. I think Vin Diesel's a weird person to be the president of the younger than he looks club. Really? That's what I think is odd. Yeah, I don't think Vin Diesel. I think Vin Diesel looks his age. Not younger than he looks. Younger than he presents himself and acts.

You've lost me now. It's what I just said earlier. Being a grown up isn't about age as much as how you carry yourself in the demeanor. I don't think he carries himself as a grown-up okay i see what you're saying i just don't understand how it's hard not to hard not to understand what you're saying yeah i feel like it's pretty fucking clear what i'm saying and it's very well i i think it's like partially understood and also partially just baffling i feel like we established that but we also established that about eight minutes ago and now we just been well yeah but that all got cut okay so you want to should we move on to the the room yeah can you

or maybe what no go ahead jeff i was gonna say maybe we save we're all like an hour in maybe we should save that for next week well no no because no because the audience will fucking kill you just oh we got it too we could do we could do the room next week oh we should do the room now okay okay you want to do the room now well how how do we want to do this uh well let's do this andrew why don't you describe uh once again for us i think you already read it earlier but okay one more time just read the description you gave us of your bedroom and do we have a transition to this bit or are we just gonna where do we leave off i don't this is i don't know the best episode of this show what do you mean where well if we're gonna cut all that last bit

or a lot of that last bit how do we get from that to the room god uh you do it i think it's figured out uh uh uh fucking sure four walls all right wait wait wait wait wait wait hang on hang on hang on hang on start over because i want to i want to get this clean so that way everyone can hear it and draw themselves i'm just feeling sorry for nick okay four walls three doors all at the top no wall has multiple doors on it but one has two doorways two windows bed at the back i don't know why i did that they've all written their versions the previous week that was the whole point of the last one we did this we covered this it's to recap yes okay okay jesus christ fair enough well eric just said it was for people to write he wanted That was the whole point of the last one. We did this. We covered this. It's to recap. Yeah, it's to recap.

Okay. Jesus Christ, man. Fair enough. Well, Eric just said it was for people to write. He wanted it clean so people could continue. The whole reason we're doing this, if you didn't listen last week, is because we've been hearing about the mystery that is Andrew Panton's room for 57, 58, 59 episodes now.

And so we had the idea last episode to draw a top-down view of what we think Andrew's room looks like. And so those are the instructions he gave us. Gavin, would you like to drop your room into the Discord? Can do. What the fuck?

Holy shit. Wow. Door with no door. Door. Door. This is a lot to unpack. Window. Waffle maker. I didn't didn't put andrew is depicted in yellow and all the labeling is in blue door i got a collection i assume i mean he is piss boy we haven't really covered like what he

does after he's looked at piss but i i thought maybe yeah the sushi box yeah eric and the fire extinguisher waffle maker and you got the tumbleweed with a handle in the top left oh my god i first off uh should now let's should we ask andrew what he thinks how close it is or should uh should we show mine and then do both of them yeah i think we should show you well i I assume Andrew would have also drawn the actual room to compare ours to. No, why would I draw the room? So we know what the... So we know what it is. No, I took a video of the room.

I did a video of the room. And I have a blueprint of what the space looks like. Jeff's going to... I used a tool, an architectural design tool. I like the doors open into each other. They do. So at the top, you've got the door leading into the rest of the house where I assume other people live.

Immediately to the right of that is a desk with a fire extinguisher with a microphone attached to it next to a mini frizz. All the way to the right is the door to the shitter. That's where you go and you do your shits and your baths. Then down that wall

is a hole where a closet is where you make your hot dogs. Middle, he said most of the room is bed, so I tried to make the bed as large as possible. Don't want to forget

the Casio keyboard. Put the eight pillows on. Didn't have room for the waffle maker, but we haven't talked about waffles in a while. I included the Pam and the Keurig just in case on the nightstand., put the eight pillows on. Didn't have room for the waffle maker, but we haven't talked about waffles in a while. I included the Pam and the Keurig just in case on the nightstand.

Oh, on the other side, you have a sushi box because I also wanted to be sure to include that. On the left wall, you've got a window. From that window, you could look to the right and see McDonald's and ladies pee. Sightline to pee, ladies. Further up that door is the outside door which opens up well it opens in uh but uh it goes straight to mcdonald's and urine how close was i how close

was gavin andrew i gotta i can't believe how similar these are and also the level of effort like i obviously spent the time doing it in the drawing jeff spent the time getting hold of an architectural tool and real images and the big keyboard. They're so similar. I love it. They're so similar. I don't know how to measure who's more correct. The level of detail in both is fantastic.

I'm going to drop the blueprint first of just the space, and then I will do the video of the room. So this is pulled. That's really small. That's room so this is this is pull that's just really that's the tiniest yeah that's unfortunate that did not work out very well we will move to the video I don't know from your phone is that what they know the video oh that no that came from my computer I did that what's the resolution 12 by 8 it was a screen grab you sent us a 14 pixel image in all of its size and glory on those oh my god on the Instagram. Oh my God. Here's the video. I'll put the video in. Here we go. Okay, so this is the room.

I can't wait for this. This is the room. Oh, okay. Oh, I'm feeling pretty good about that. Oh, the sauce. I forgot about the sauce. There's that.

Oh my God. I fucking nailed it. I'm so close. I got it 100%. I got it perfect. I nailed it perfect. I got it perfect I nailed it perfect I didn't miss anything Jeff's done it I think

with that here's some discrepancy in Jeff's drawing the sushi container was by the fridge that's where the sushi fall happened I bet there's been a sushi container there at some point though nah I don't know about that neither of us got the chest of drawers no I didn't do that i forgot about that where are all the pillows i feel like

i've been lied to oh no the pillows okay so the pillows are behind the bed at this point i think oh where's where's the fridge got the sight line to the piss that was a guess dude that was a total guess you've nailed that i can't believe it i don't where's the mini fridge am I missing it? I did the sauce container. Oh, it's right. Oh, it's under the oh my fucking god Mm-hmm. Yeah, I think well, I think we both got the fridge position Did we you but well? Davin's is more correct I'd say as far as the fridge position, but it's your door is off my

Window behind the bed is off. Yeah, no, Jeff definitely wins this. There's no Canadian flag like I was hoping. No. You know what this means? This means I speak full Pantin. I'm fully fluent in Andrew. I'm like the Andrew Whisperer. I can't believe

I got it so close. Well, I think it comes down to his description, I think, was very good. It was. You got it so close well i think it comes down to his description i think was very good it was you got it very close to gavin you really did i mean andrew is good at summarizing instructions because i mean even with the guy looking up the description when you listen to it was actually very good you called me ridiculous for saying all doors at the top they're all at the top i don't know what you want from me. Well, because it's not the top, is it? It's the top wall. You don't walk into a room and be like, oh, stick that picture on the top wall.

If you look at this diagram, though, you would say the top is where I said it was. If you cut it down the middle. I'd say the back. You think that's the back? You think the front wall is the back? You think you enter from the back of the room? Well, we've drawn the whole thing upside down,

haven't we? We're orientating it on your body at your desk would you call your bedroom door the back door there's no way it's the back door well no i'd say that yeah i'd enter in the front and yeah whatever i'm looking at is the back but none of it's the top is what i'm saying the ceiling is the top sure that's fair i was just trying to stick with the words used for the the face drawing and i think under that criteria i was completely accurate in my look tail of where the doors are they're so similar we can criticize your words all day long andrew but those words put gavin and i very close to each other in our design and very close to the actual room so all all criticism aside, it worked. You know, I think that saying it's the top of the room

was fucking stupid too, but it worked. I've got to watch the video again. I've got to see how big the bed is. Oh, yeah. It's a big desk. I wasn't checking for bed size. There's so much to take in. I'm going to have to watch this frame by frame later.

Yeah, there's so much to learn about the room. Some clothes. What is that picture? what is that picture what's that picture it really is mostly a bed jeff's yeah why is there a step up into that door oh that's a question oh it's a it's a patio it goes to a patio because that door is at the top It's like not on the ground. There's some paper towels and a shoe. Oh, there's so much to take in here. There's one shoe and there's some kitchen roll.

Oh, that is one shoe. What kind of shoe is that? Where's the other shoe? It's near the desk, I think. I don't know why it's in that corner. What's in the yellow bowl? What is in the yellow bowl? That's a good question. I'll see. I'll check. Are those the same headphones you use in the bathtub?

The ones on the bed, yes. Those are the bathtub headphones. I'll be right back. What's that big picture next to the closet? It looks like an x-ray of some shoes. Oh, it is. It's an x-ray of shoes. What is it? It's just two bottles in the bowl. It's not that exciting of a bowl. What's on the picture?

The shoe x-ray. Which picture? It looks like a shoe x-ray between the hot dog in the shit room that was somebody uh in the community made that and uh they sold it i bought it but what is it what is it we can't quite make it out it's like it's like two things of converse shoes oh okay yeah it's not it's i mean it's just it's pretty normal you got uh the halo 3 legendary yeah i do still hanging on to that see inside the see inside the hot dog closet just a little bit i'm surprised nobody's pointing out my super cool sahara framed what is that what is that i don't know what that is it's uh it's from the movie sahara with everyone's favorite yep everyone's favorite action movie was it like a real film cell? Like what is in there?

No, it's the two coins. It's like they're chasing after these coins and they're two coins for the movie that they put into a thing. It was given to me as a birthday gift

when I was younger. I might be the only person with Sahara merchandise on their wall. Not exactly the biggest of movies. Can I be honest with you? The filing cabinet. I started to watch that movie when it came out,

and I fucking left. Oh, it's not bad. It's not that bad. Yeah. Rainn Wilson in it. Steve Zahn is on. I think the bed is the most confusing. It looks like you have a tiny duvet,

and it's scrunched up to become a pillow. Where's the rest of the bed stuff? Part of it is on the floor. Do you just sleep in a ball with everything just curl what what's going on there well no it's just you know it's we we were recording these earlier than we normally do i just kind of got out of bed and kind of threw everything together hey hey i i no criticism here bud i think it looks fun i love that bit i think I can't wait for people to see our diagrams. I'm excited to see people's diagrams.

I also love that we both put similar effort into it, but they both have their own distinct feels. I love that you used black, white, and blue within the yellow Andrew. It's striking, honestly. And I was trying to do something similar in a notepad, writing it down on paper and i just i couldn't do it justice which is why i switched and tried to go a different route yeah dude what a segment oh we know andrew way better than we thought we did gavin yeah i think i can i would be able to translate andrew into english

to other people i think i think you did i think I just speak English based on the fact that you both got it. And I think we'll see, we'll see with other people's drawings. Like once again, when we did the face thing, Jeff fucking did terrible and all of his problems, everyone else in the community nailed it. So I think,

yeah, do you think people have people in the community? Do you think they'll draw the rooms before they see our diagrams? Cause maybe we can do because we we asked at the end of last episode to do that with the instructions so i assume that they will come with that one i think people are gonna nail this i do too i do too i bet we'll put like a thousand images up on the instagram it's weird because the way andrew describes stuff a lot of the time when you first hear it it's like what how is that possible and then you see the video and it's like it's exactly what it is exactly what it is i describe it as this i mean there's no keyboard in the in the video but

that's that is on a different bed i moved it to a different bed because i don't have a stand that is a bed that is not that used it's just it's there it's in a different room so if we come to stay we'll have to make room for the keyboard yeah you'd have in the guest in the guest room you'll have to move the keyboard off the bed let's say here's what we'll do gav we can share a bed we've done that before we'll put the keyboard in between us to keep us honest yeah yeah can we do that when we come to stay andrew can we sleep on either side of the keyboard? You are welcome to sleep on either side of the keyboard. I would love to do an episode of Face

from all of us inside your bedroom. We've got to do it. Next bathtub race. Yes. Next bathtub race. And obviously we've got to give ourselves an hour and a half to find the place. Oh, right.

Yeah, there'll be that race too. All right. I think we should end this one. That was a jam-packed fucking episode. I'm afraid for next episode. Yeah. We'll have stuff. Yeah, or we won't.

Yeah. No, I think we'll be great. I think you have put a lot of pressure on us with the this episode will suck. I think it... Unless, was that a reverse jinx? I didn't say this episode was going to suck. I think this episode's great. Oh, what was the whole

thing at the beginning about the last episode did really well, so this one is... Oh, like, karmically, yeah. This one will tank, just because the last one did well, yeah. But no, it won't be because of the content. It'll be because of the universe. Eric got it. He was mad. Oh, what's wrong, man? I have meetings after

this, so we gotta wrap up. Eric's angry. Eric's angry. Let. Eric's angry. Let's wrap up. Thanks for listening to another episode of F*** Face. And congratulations. We all now know what Andrew's room looks like. We can all die. And if you don't die, we'll see you next week. you