Regulation Podcast - D-Box Crew Family // A New Outskirts Bet? [58]

Episode Date: July 7, 2021

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about Producer Eric chugging a soda, British GI Joe vs Canadian GI Joe, Geoff's new bike tricks, and Gordon Ramsay Chef Blast. Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to [e-mail] Sponsored by ExpressVPN ( http://expressvpn.com/face) and HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/face14 and use code face14) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

🎵 Intro Music 🎵 Hello and welcome to episode 58, I think. Is this 58? Yeah. Is this, yeah, 58 of f***ing face. What's everyone's favorite brand of honey mustard? I'll go first. I really enjoy White Spots. I know they're a restaurant chain and not a brand

They have a fantastic honey mustard Jeff. What is your favorite? I'd be honest with you Andrew I'm not I don't like it Wow I don't think I've ever bought it from like a brand in a store I've had it on you know if I'm picking a sauce in a restaurant Maybe I'll write it, but I don't ever like buy the whole thing. It's weird to me, dude I like honey, and I like mustard, but together it's not a draw for me. I respect that you

love it so much. I really do. Nick has an answer. He's got it locked and loaded. I don't know why I didn't immediately go to Nick for this. Texas Honey Ham Company. Can I get Texas Honey Ham Company? Seems pretty

local. Let's see if I can order that. I mean, I got salad cream. Do you know what I realized, by the way? What's that? What did you realize? We went around, everyone, and did the soda chug burp challenge. Yeah. But I couldn't help but notice that someone was

absent. Mmm. When we did that. That's an excellent point yeah so we're gonna need oh we're gonna need to sort of round off this whole chapter of face today probably i'm probably i'm gonna have to agree eric thoughts yeah so how is nick gonna do this nick already did it nick did it Nick was part of the chug. He did it. Okay, follow-up question. Can I fake it like Jeff, or do I actually have to?

I didn't fake it! That's a great point. I told you it was gonna be a letdown if I did it, because I've already proved that I can do it easily. Why do people think you have faked it? I don't understand that. Because there is... Okay, so Jeff's like, I'm gonna chug it,

and then there's no... And he says, like, I'm gonna try to do this so you can hear it. You hear nothing, and then a few seconds later, he's like, I'm gonna chug it and then there's no, and he says like, I'm gonna try to do this so you can hear it. You hear nothing and then a few seconds later he's like, halfway through and then there's like a second of nothing and then done. Well, I assume Nick's just cutting out silence. Could be, but I felt like even live, it was pretty. Yeah, see, Nick says

true. That's because I don't make a lot of noise. I don't sound like a dying dinosaur when I drink like you do. I'm sorry. Oh, Nick couldn't hear the chugging in the fucking hold up i'm getting wow i'm getting oh nick okay right now nick if you can hear jack in the audio when we couldn't hear jack that is damning evidence because i was going to say the fact that we couldn't hear jack made me think that jeff did do it and we just couldn't hear it. If you can hear Jack in the audio, that to me indicates that Jeff didn't do the chuck.

I believe that Jeff fully did it, but I'm willing to continue on the path that he didn't just so he has to do it again. It sounds like he's going to try it again. He definitely did it last week. I'm not sure about that. The lack of audio is fascinating. I just love, Andrew, how much you were just getting... You were enjoying it so much as we struggled to even

chug it it was just like well because you guys make so much shit about how easy it was and then it was a nightmare for everybody involved okay i listen i'm gonna do it again okay okay listen to the fuck it's a coke zero Uh-huh. Listen for this. Can you hear that? I'm gonna open it. Did you hear that? Sounded real. Definitely opened it.

Splattered me in the fucking face. All right. So now I'm just gonna drink it. I'm gonna stop at some point to breathe. But I won't. Sounds like a sound effect. Why don't you produce an audible hum so we'll know where you are in the stage of drinking and breathing.

I'll try to. Turn on my camera. Suck my butt. Alright, here we go. Here, I'll take a fucking photo. I'll take a fucking photo. I mean, that doesn't prove anything. We know you have a soda. The photo's useless. I don't... Alright, here we go. I'm gonna record this. Alright, here we go. I'm gonna record it.

Alright, here we go. Okay. Here we go. I'm gonna record. I'm actually recording. it's not like an action bronson type thing uh and i mean already sounds worse than it did last time oh i can hear it i can hear that the chug that time he's really making it count there silence again all right it's gone that was really fast yeah i just's gone. That was really fast. That was really quick. Ugh.

Ugh. Oh no, Nick just said on a second listen, I can hear the chugging. You didn't have to do that, Jeff. You didn't have to do it. God. I need to credit Eric with the masterful performance of being asked to drink a soda and then having this happen. That was a great, great move by Eric. A great move.

But that only works if we just move on and refuse to go back to Eric. That's true. But we don't do that. No, Eric, you're up. I don't think I keep soda in the house. What do you mean? You're an American. I don't think I keep soda in the house. I can try to. You, who, what do you mean? You're an American. I don't drink, I don't really drink soda.

I can try to. What if, what if I crush a Budweiser? Is that American? Like that works? That's very American. That's like. All right. Talk about something else and I'll try to, I'll try to, I'll go get a Budweiser real

quick. All right. Hang on. I'll be right back. Nick's right. Nick's right Nick's right you could favorite or

instacart it and it'd be there in no time at all definitely before the end of the show we can even vamp and run long yeah I can

I can have my neighbor deliver some this has got to go 50 houses or however the distance past God I'm trying to share

this stupid video and I won't share on the discord thing yeah well maybe we should save the Eric chug for the finale go out on like have kind of set a tradition Next that it might be sparkling water or not a soda. What does that mean? That means? Yeah, like I understand what those word mean. Well, I think as long as it's carbonated I think I sparkling water is fizzier than a soda. You do or you don't I do I would rather chug a soda than a sparkling water is fizzier than a soda. You do or you don't?

I do. I would rather chug a soda than a sparkling water. I think if I did, a sparkling water would be even worse than what happened. I was doing, that's what I was doing. I was doing, I don't drink soda. Wait, this just dawned on me. Wasn't the thing you're supposed to drink and then not burp? Yeah, it was a sparkling soda.

We've been wrong the entire time with soda. It's been completely off. But didn't Jeff just drink it and then burp immediately? i know he lost immediately but he's yeah i gotta go 30 seconds the timer starts yeah yeah i lost i just i just drank it oh oh i didn't know i wasn't aware that that was an option no if we're doing this right you need to chug two cans and then not burp for 30 seconds oh that's insane what an insane thing no No, I'm not doing that. It's totally doable. I just don't have two cans left. That was my last say. That's interesting. Everybody

yelled at me when I said I didn't have soda, but just going, I don't have two cans left. I just drank one on camera. Well, hang on. You could Instacart it real quick. Be here by the end of the show. But I don't need to because I've already done it.

Twice now. You didn't won. Eric, just do your bud. Crush your bud, Eric. Oh, yeah. Oh, is he doing cam? Yeah, I'll turn on a little camera for you. Okay.

Here we go. It's Budweiser King of Beers. This is the America can. Mm-hmm. I also don't think I can do this. Like, I guess I'll try. Yeah. Like what?

What is a chug? I feel like you can't remove the can from your. Yeah. Yeah. You can't. All right. I haven't done this since college. Cheers to you. Look at him bragging about going to college.

Did you go to college? The glug rate is glugging. No, I did not go to college. Gavin, do you go to college? No. Well, I went to sixth form. Me either. I didn't even go to college for the glug rate? He's gonna die. No, I did not go to college Gavin Do you go to college? No, well, I went to school me either. I didn't go to six form Alright, it's down Eric seconds. It's not Bob jet. He looks at the mic Eric get it get there the might we need to hear the suffering He does not look good. He's shaking his hands shaking it out. I think he's like no Jeff might be right Yeah, you lose the bow. Oh, no, Jeff might be right.

Yeah, you lose the bird. Oh, no, I lost it. I felt it and it went back down and now my stomach's even worse. I don't know that I can bird. Oh, okay, never mind. You got it. Okay. Okay.

Oh, Jesus Christ. That's the first time I think I've chugged a Budweiser without popping it with a key and then slamming it in the front yard. When was the last time you did that? 2008. Oh, by the way, did I tell you, Eric, I have a hard out after the break shit? You have a hard out?

Oh, I think we both have the same hard out. I was going to ask if it's your hard out as well. Oh, we have the exact same hard out. What's your hard out? We have a group that sees movies that had to take a break for a while, but now we're back in full force and it's an insane group of people so we went and saw Hobbs and Shaw I got asked by Tim G TPG from sales and he went bro you fuck with Hobbs and Shaw and I said and I said I guess so and he said you fuck with D-Box and I said

I don't know what that is and he said bro D-Box, Hobbs and Shaw and I said okay so I show up to a movie theater myself Tim G, Meg and Gavin and that's the group so

Tim G hit me up earlier this week or last week and he said bro i can't wait to fuck with fast nine and i said let's do it he said bro d box and i said let's fucking do it he said i'm getting the crew back together the d box crew is back baby it's i'm so excited it's the d box family you guys are honoring the movie it is perfect like right after we do break shit we are like going and seeing fucking fast and furious with tim g i don't know it's been It's been a few years. It's been a few. I'm legitimately excited. I'm so jealous.

This is a great experience. It sounds like an awesome time. I've actually seen every Fast movie in D-Box since I moved to this country in 2012. And the first time was probably the roughest because I think I'd eaten something a little bit gammy earlier in the day. Was that with no i think it was with michael and lindsey uh i saw fast five in d box i think with ben yeah i think that was a little bit earlier oh that was probably before i

moved here but i i think i ate some gammy trudy's or something or i had too many frozen margaritas or something but i sat down and it did the little d-box trailer where it's like ah this is what these seats do and they're like shut the shit out of me i was like and then i was just like i have to go and throw up before this movie starts because i was about to hurl in my seat i ran well like right before the movie started i ran threw up and came back and it was awesome before we get too far away i have some questions i need to ask gavin did you receive the same pitch that tim chi come to you and say do you fuck with hobs and shaw was it the same intro how did you get recruited into the family well i want to say that because i was already i'd already had my perfect record of fast movies and d-box i think he was trying to

seed hobs and shaw and i recommended D-Box, and then he passed that on to Eric, and now it's just become The Crew. But how did... Okay. I guess I don't see how he becomes involved in it at that point. He seems like the Dom Toretto of this D-Box family. And you're making it sound like he was an addition, like you're doing

this regardless, and you just happened to cross paths. But that's the thing. Here's the thing. Fast and Fur furious is a group of people who were already doing a lot of different things that have come together and now they are secret agents uh so that's kind of what we're doing we're all doing different stuff i'm kind of like the ludicrous of this whole thing okay definitely like been around but also you go but really what's he doing here so i feel good in my role was it was it tpg last time who took the poster he like got the free poster yeah oh he was so excited about a free poster it was i just like that i like that this crew that's getting back together has never once hung out

outside of a Fast movie. You can't. It's all we do. We have literally never all been in the same place again. You can't. The only time

we've hung out is the one time seeing that other movie. The COVID happened and Tim went, bro, you fuck with fast nine it's gonna be so good i'm excited i'm so excited we're gonna open a bunch of cards and then we're gonna go get shaken around yeah we're gonna open cards i'll quickly go make myself throw up and

then we'll head out i'm curious how many other people got invited to the D-Box family. This is a great thing. I hope it expands. Sounds like a pretty exclusive club. I can't wait for one of you to die and then come back two years later. I got invited to the Sunday Overflow event with Alfredo. So I'll be seeing you there. I'm going to that one too.

So I'll see you there. Everyone. I reckon as well. Because then we saw Alfredo at a bar and i bought coronas and i just went family and then what i it's interesting you called them agents i don't know what i'd categorize the crew as i feel like they're a bit are they a family business technically like what what they've registered a company like an llc i don't i think they're a family business technically i think i was watching fast six no fast seven on a plane and there was one point where this girl like gave them information and uh they were like oh our other team would have tortured you for that information.

And she's like, I don't trust that team. I trust you. And I'm like, they've gotten so big they have teams within their team. That's insane. That's crazy. We've witnessed the expansion. The first movie was about racing. It was about stealing VCRs.

That was like the big heist of the first movie. We've come a long way. This is how governments are born. Can you imagine how bummed people would be if Fast 9 was just a racing movie? It's like a weird

G.I. Joe thing now. He's got a metal suit. I'm excited. I want to see Fast 9 now. You've excited me about these movies. I mean, they're great movies to begin with. have you played any of the games for fast uh yeah jeff and i made a video i think in uh yeah we played fast five five yeah oh the one that doesn't have like it's what is it like tyrese and ludacris and paul walker are like the playable characters like vin diesel i don't think is in that game I don't remember I just remember it was trash it was really not it was really bad the only good fast game was like the Forza

tie-in and it's not even really like it's just the cars but like the narrative they put out a new one like a year ago that I haven't played that I own that I'm excited to speaking of uh G.I. Joe and how much enjoyment we got out of Sweden Do you know what the English version of G.I. Joe Is called? I feel like when you say it I'll recognize it But I could not pull it Like I couldn't just say it right now But I'll be like yeah that's correct

Action Man That's great I like Action Man So wait are they the action men no just action man and I think it's like an action it's like another action team I guess but it's G.I. Joe it's like Scarlet

and Hawk and Hawkeye I don't know I think it's just like a British spin-off and he has like real hair oh it's a spin-off it's not even a real I thought you're saying that's what it was called I thought it was like the cartoons. Like you have Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles. Action Man!

Action Man! Yeah. It's like the dolls and stuff. I'm so confused by you. You somehow made this more confusing. Yeah. So what was... When you watched G.I. Joe the cartoon in England, what was it called? Action Man the cartoon? I didn't see G.I. Joe. I don't know. Great. I just had Action Man. This is like my... We're not G.I. Joe. I don't know. Great. I just had Action Man.

This is like my... We're not G.I.s. I know what you want from me. Was it Leona Waddell, the basket weaver, where like I knew one thing about her and this is yours that you know one thing and you have no other information

about Action Man. I don't know. I look up Action Man. I'm pretty sure it's the same thing kind of mostly. Well, you're saying it's exactly the same thing. Those are two very different things if it's not the same thing. If it's not the same thing, you just told me that there's a thing in Europe called Action Man. And there is a thing in Europe called Action Man.

Yeah, but the whole point was that it was a fucking G.I. Joe thing, and I don't think it is! I think it's just Action Man. I think it is! I don't think it is. I looked up Action Man right i don't think it is i looked up action man right now it is a canadian it appears um tv series australia maybe let me i'm going to into the wiki 2000 action man tv series i feel like i owned an action figure for the action man maximum is his name max the show is unrelated to the 1995 show is that that what you're referring to, Gavin? Action Man is an action figure launched in Britain in 1966 by blah, blah, blah, as a licensed copy of Hasbro's American movable fighting man, G.I. Joe.

So it's a variation. It's not... Uh... Because it's licensed by, so it's, I guess, technically the same, but it's different. Or maybe they're just using the same pieces? I don't know. Look, now I'm worried that it's nothing to do with G with gi joe but it looks like it kind of is well it's i've

i feel like somebody called an action man would fit under the gi joe umbrella as far as like what that content would be action man and gi joe the same we had rescue heroes when i was growing up was our like gi joe equivalent but imagine do you remember the psa's and gi joe of like don't fucking leave the stove on yeah i've only seen like the funny redubbed ones yeah the golden age of the internet rescue heroes was if they made gi joe but it was only the psa's it was just like here's a group of like kind of not really soldiers but like firefighters and ambulance people and their superheroes they're gonna stop a fire or like

there's a tsunami coming in it was not it was not really thrilling was uh was that canadian produced it was yeah i don't want to say it was a canadian cartoon action man is a it's a licensed copy of hasbro's so i guess it's the same as

it's the same as the G.I. Joe doll, but it's not in the G.I. Joe universe. That makes sense. I think they just took the doll and renamed it, but it's not actually G.I. Joe related. Yeah, no, I think it's his own separate thing, from what I can tell. What does G.I. even stand for? General issue?

Or government issue? Game informer? Or game informer, yeah. Wherever you're going, you better believe American Express will be right there with you. Heading for adventure? We'll help you breeze through security. Meeting friends a world away? You can use your travel credit.

Squeezing every drop out of the last day? How about a 4 p.m late checkout just need a nice place to settle in enjoy your room upgrade wherever you go we'll go together that's the powerful backing of american express visit amex.ca slash ymx benefits vary by card terms apply jeff you're a chain guy what's up apparently you're a chain guy. What's up? Apparently. You're a chain guy, apparently. That's what I said when you told me you're a chain guy. What does that mean? I'm a chain guy now.

I bought a chain, and I wear it, and I like it. And now I'm a chain guy. You're a necklace guy. Yeah, I bought a chain. I bought like a gold chain, and I've been wearing it to test it out and see if I like wearing a chain, and I do. And then I discovered that I quite enjoy chains. And I'm a chain guy.

Oh. This chain is a Cuban link chain. And I quite enjoy it. I think I might get another chain. Can we see a picture of this chain? I'd love to see a photo of the chain. And I want to say that when Jeff said, I'm a chain guy, I bought a chain and I'm now wearing it.

I immediately went to like Rampage Jackson chain level. I didn't think Jeff meant like a necklace. I thought I'll drop it in the Discord. I thought Jeff was going full Rampage Jackson and I was all about it. I was very excited to see you walking around. I thought it was going to be like blockchain or something. No, no, no, no.

Andrew, I might be going in that direction. I mean, like, I might I might you don't nobody starts out as Mr. P it's the same thing those photos are identical yeah right that's the same that looks like

who wore it better huh who wore it better looks like a chain from Tiffany it's just a chain it looks like a chain from Tiffany. It's just a chain. It's like a guy's chain. You don't got even anything on it. Are you not going to put like a pendant or something? Like a charm?

No, I got it. I got it on the internet. Or a lock and Emily has the key. Or like a picture of Millie and me in a locket. No, no, just the chain. Just the chain. I like a picture of Millie and me in a locket. No, no, just the chain. Just the chain. I might get a bigger one, though.

You should absolutely get a bigger one. I'm happy for you. I don't know that I'll get one as large as Rampage's, but I would like to add, I would like to at some point get to a, I'd like to have enough chains where it's an issue with the airport. Oh. So do you wear this to bed?

Do you sleep in this chain? Yeah, you just live in it. You don't take them off because they're hard as fuck to take on and off. So it's just on me 24 hours a day. I've been wearing it for about a month now and I'm digging it. Usually keep it tucked under the shirt so it's subtle.

You don't see it a lot. Gavin, for instance, we spent an entire soccer game together. You had no idea I was rocking a chain. You were wearing that then? Every second. There's no way. I've got to look at our selfie. There's no way.

Look at the selfie. There'll be a chain around my neck. It's probably tucked in my shirt, but you'll still be able to see it. Oh, I guess I didn't take a picture with you. I just took one with Millie. Well, that makes sense. I'm happy that you're a chain guy, Jeff, but I gotta say,

this is like the most disappointing version of that lead-in. I didn't mean to disappoint you. I'm not sure how else I should have presented it to you. I used language that Andrew specifically would understand. Andrew, the I'm a blank guy.

So I said, I'm a chain guy. I was trying to speak to you in your vernacular. You do the I'm a blank guy. So I said, I'm a chain guy. I was trying to speak to you in your vernacular. You do appear to be a chain guy. Oh, while I was looking for that picture, I found the picture I took of Jack at that football game, by the way. That is definitely Jack. Also, you have no idea

how far away that actually was from us. That's really zoomed. We took a bunch of pictures, and then we zoomed in for about 30 minutes trying to find Jack until we finally did. Since you are a chain guy, Jeff, can I suggest some chains to you? Please. Maybe some things to add to your collection? Okay, so I'm going to go, first of all, with the classic, stylish,

it's been around forever. Maybe a nice word. I love solid gold that looks expensive. It's not like a hundred dollars. Oh, that's also Patrick. You're right. You're right. Star. That's Patrick. I was wildly inaccurate. What about rocket power?

You fan of rocket power? Don't know that do rocket power. Look at them on a skateboard. You like the skateboard. I do like skateboards. I'm not familiar with that brand. That's pretty cool, though. Yeah, those are top two. The last one I have, not a necklace, but maybe you want to expand. Are you a ring guy?

Are you into rings? Not yet. Well, now you can be because a big Achievement fan, Achievement Hunter, has got to be stylish with Xbox. You got to be rounded out. that seems more like an eric than a than me but i like it if you would have posted you wearing that patrick chain i would have been all about it i might do it who knows why i'd be a fan yeah i'd support you gotta work your way up to it i feel like a chain is something you work your way up to you gotta build the kind

of confidence and the kind of presence that allows one to have a chain. I don't think you just like you don't just walk out of the store. Yeah. Looking like Rampage Jackson. I don't understand the path to that, though. Like, who did you see with a chain? And then you thought, yeah, that's me. You didn't just think I'm going to get a chain.

I was thinking about Mr. T. Yeah. I was thinking about how cool Mr. T was. Really? When I was a chain. I was thinking about Mr. T. Yeah, I was thinking about how cool Mr. T was when I was a kid. And then I was thinking about how I always wanted to be like Mr. T.

And then I thought, well, Mr. T, he wore a lot of jewelry, and I was like, why don't I wear jewelry? And then I looked, and I have, I've always worn a rubber band, and I have my fart bracelet, and then I thought, well, my wrists are pretty full, I can't get an ankle bracelet, that would be weird. only thing left is i really the only other stick i have to put something around is my neck so i said fuck it i'll be a little baby mr t how are you going to incorporate

snacks onto the necklace that's yes exactly that's that's another question right it's like here i am designing edible jewelry yet i don't wear jewelry. So I can only assume that over time, I will glean some insights that will help. This is like gateway jewelry. Yeah, yeah, right? Like you gotta live it

to understand it, to sell it. What do you have to do to become someone who wears two chains? What is the elevation to that? Because I assume your next chain will be swapped. If you're saying

like building up the chain line, how do you achieve two levels of chains? I honestly don't know. I'm just worried about you. The amount that you fall off your bike, I'm worried that that's going to get caught on something. And you're going to be just hanging from a bridge by your chain. Speaking of falling off my bike though,

I did not fall off my bike today. Thank God. That's it? That's your story? Well, I've been working on a new trick. And today was the day. And I didn't fall. I did my trick.

What is the trick? Did you record it? Is there video of the trick? No, no, no. There's no video. But so, like, you know, when I ride my bike, I have my my route that i go and there are some spots that i like to do when the bike rides yeah the bike rides i like to do some fun stuff like the the area where i uh i go up the side of the hill uh or the where i crashed in the snow you still do that huh oh

yeah i still do it i'll be honest with you i'll be honest with you. I'll be honest with you. It took me a while to feel okay doing it again. And then I did a babies for a while. And now I'm back to doing it. Now I'm back to bombing it at full speed again. So there's this other area where you come out of a tunnel and immediately it takes a hard right up a hill. But on the left is like a wall, kind of like a leveled embankment,

kind of like the one that I wreck on. But this one, it wraps away, so it's like convex a little bit, right? And this wall frustrates me because it's very inviting to ride a bicycle up. But because of the way it's convex, it's very easy to lose your rear tire and have it spin out from under you and cause you to wreck. And that, I would say that happens probably seven out of 10 times I try to navigate this thing. It's pretty common that I, that I, my tire spins out. The problem is, is like you come out of this tunnel and then you make an immediate right turn. If you go straight where the right turn is, that's a bridge over a culvert like a

drainage ditch that goes about four feet down so if you hit this if you come out of the tunnel and you hit this wall to the left and ride up it it's impossible to turn around and come down fast enough to make the path you will either do one of two things you'll either fall right off of it and take the four foot plunge which i've done that's not fun uh you'll miss it and take the four foot plunge, which I've done. That's not fun. Uh, you'll miss it, go down the fourth, just miss it, go down the area and then slam into the wall at about elbow length. And that sucks. But I realized today that if you just keep riding a little bit, no, I didn't realize I realized recently I was able to do it today that if you keep going a little bit on that wall and then you just go down into the culvert uh you can there's a lip

on the other side that's pretty tall but if you hit it fast enough you can jump it and then land on the path and then keep going in theory right now the problem with that is you got to hit that thing at speed um and you got to build that speed up going higher up on this embankment and then swinging back around bombing that and then you got to hit it hard enough because it's the top it's like a it's like a teeter-totter and there's no like it's a real sharp berm and you have to jump it in theory and then table do like a bunny hop over it or the bottom of the bike will definitely drag and you will fall i know that because i tried this at quarter speed uh like a week ago and and that's where I wrecked.

Then I tried it at half speed, and that's where I wrecked. And then I tried it at half speed again, and I wrecked in a different place and there. So I've done this a few times, and I realized that the only way to do it successfully is to do it at speed. And today I said, fuck it. I don't have to go out of town for a couple days, so I can handle a bruise or a scab and so I I just fucking hit it I hit it full speed and I was like who knows what's gonna happen and I jumped the shit out of it it was awesome it was like a movie it was like rad and gleaming the cube all at once I fucking I was I was seven feet tall and I had a giant penis by the end of it it was amazing I couldn't believe I did it.

What if we cut a sick trailer for face? I'll bring the phantom and we'll film you do that. How much air is involved? Emily has been trying to get me to cut a trailer where I just spin out on my bike and go like face break shit. And then I haven't gotten around to doing it. But I think it's a great idea. I also think that you would look at it and go like, that's not hard at all. But it's been hard.

It's hard for me. Hard for a 46 year old dude requires a lot of coordination Quires a lot of sketchy shit. I've already wrecked my bike like a hole But what's hard if you're not actually like I see we're not pedaling Yeah, you got a pedal to build up speed Then you got a ride you got a ride up the side of this wall high enough then navigate down and like I said It's convex so the back tire really wants to swing out from under you, which when that happens, you're eight and a half feet in the air falling backwards down a concrete embankment

with your bike going on top of you. Been there, not great. It's a lot to put together, especially at my advanced age. I'll be honest. I listened to everything you said and I was listening to all the stuff about the culverts and the berms and stuff.

If you asked me to draw a diagram of what you actually did, I would have absolutely no idea at all. I wouldn't even know where to start at what this looks like from a bystander's point of view. I'll take a picture next time I'm there and then I can draw the path.

How about that? I would love to see the video shoot of this. I think it would be a great trailer. Andrew, you listened to all that, right? I did. Yeah, I listened. I have no idea. If you had to draw that, what would you put? It would be

a wall, and then like, I don't know what I'd do. A wall that you can ride up. Yeah, so it'd be like kind of a side wall, I guess, and then a loop. And it sounds like your trick is just ollieing? No, the trick is you ride up a wall. No, the trick is you come out of a turn, immediately ride up, take a is you ride up a wall. No, the trick is you come out of a turn, immediately ride up, take a left,

ride up a wall, go about eight feet in the air up on the wall, come down the wall, then bomb a culvert and then go up the other side and then jump it. Sounds kind of imagining like a bull, Gavin, you know, like a skateboard, like he's going up and then down.

It's like transitioning into a half pipe, kind of. I don't feel like I... And then jumping out of it. I can't imagine... I feel like it's less impressive. I'm going to have to come out and film this. I need to see what's going on. I just, yeah, I don't understand

what exactly how this works, and I don't... You seem to be applying, like, your way to generate speed as part of the trick, and I don't feel like that's the trick. I feel like the trick is landing the air gap that you make the air gap is the most wall thing difficult part the wall thing is a little sketchy too i think listen if you'd wrecked on that wall as many times as i have you'd have a healthy fear of it that's fair but hey you look good doing it with your chain look fantastic well yeah i hadn't considered that but i appreciate

that thank you yeah i do look i cannot wait for for Jeff to be pulled by his automated bike when his chain gets hot in this Some woman's just gonna be delivering cucumbers to the next house to see Jeff drag down the street If that were to happen, I hope to God Pulled by a bike with no one on it. But he's doing all the work. Just putting all that effort into that bike.

It's barely assisting at all. Yeah, I want to make that trailer. That sounds good. Well, let's do it. I'm all about it, dude. I've been practicing

this trick for a while. It's not too far from where you, yeah, it's easy for you to get to, you guys. Pretty sunny this weekend.

I'm fucking, I'll be hitting that, I'll be hitting that, I'll be doing that trick every day between now and until I probably, until I wreck and then I talk myself

out of it. I'll just go to that spot. You can just continue your bike ride. I'll just grab the shot and you just carry on. Just say hi. The problem is, is now that I've done it successfully once,

I feel like I have to do it every time. And then I'll just get braver and braver and faster and faster. That's when it gets worse. Are you the kind of person that when someone's filming you, are you the kind of person who would hit it with even more speed or would you get nervous and slow down? Because there's two types of people. I would overcompensate by hitting it with more speed. That's what I thought.

That's what I thought. What were you going to say, Andrew? I was just hoping that you guys can do this this weekend. I'm excited if that is really in play. Is this happening this weekend? If I grab the phantom and bring it out there, I think we could do it. I think this should happen. I grab the phantom and bring it out there, I think we could do it. I think this should happen.

I will... I can't wait. By the way, you were supposed to invite me over to go swimming this week. At midweek, it's Thursday. You never did that. What? I just remembered. I just remembered. Just now. Oh, I had other people over again. God damn it.

The chances are I know those people and they probably like me. Maybe Gavin doesn't like you. No, that's, yeah. It was meant to be a midweek hang. Andrew, I'm starting to pick up on the idea that maybe Gavin doesn't like me. It's taken it a while to sink in, but it's becoming unavoidably clear. No, not remotely true.

I think, no, this is what happened. You were like, you asked me, are you free on Thursday? And I said, but you're not because we're doing this. And you're like, oh. No, I said, are you free on Wednesday? Because Emily's off on Wednesday, and that's to be the best day. And you're like, yeah, No, I said, are you free on Wednesday? Because Emily's off on Wednesday, and that'd be the best day. And you're like, yeah, well. And I said, okay, just let us know.

And you're like, yeah, all right, I'm going to invite some other people over, and then we'll have fun, and then suck my butt. Yeah, I messed that up. I botched that, didn't I? I will say, Jeff, I don't think you need to be worried. I don't expect our friendship to exist outside of the recordings of this podcast. I would say tomorrow, but we've got to break shit and we've got to and we've got to debunk. And you got.

Yeah, you got other people. I get the debunked family. Yeah. I don't think you should be worried, Jeff, until Gavin invites me ahead of you. Then you've got a problem when I'm getting an out of country invite. You wouldn't come, though. Even if you even if he did and you came, I wouldn't find out about it for like six months anyway. It's cool. If you invited me in a non-COVID world, if you invited me to a lunch on, let's say, a Thursday,

and it was a Monday, and I got the invite, I would make that lunch. So post-COVID, I can give you three days notice for an invite in Austin, and you'll be there? I'll be there. That's dangerous. You don't think I'm going to test? I'm going to test the shit out of that.

Yeah, but then if I don't go, I don lose anything when is post covid 2025 that's a great that's a great point yeah six years from now do you know that andrew texted me the other day and he said he missed outskirts i did i not even okay so this goes deeper than gavin even realizes oh i was just so i had the whole property brothers thing and they've done stuff to that app. That is crazy that I don't need to get into, but it's just, they made some bizarre decisions on how that thing works.

You got some more pay to win. It's less pay to win. Okay. So I didn't plan on getting into it, but so how you play property brothers, if you don't want to spend money is whenever you fully upgrade a house, you get one hour of unlimited plays. If you don't do that, you have to wait for your energy to fill. So you'd have to be really smart with like timing. OK, I'm going to upgrade this house that I have one hour to make

as much cash as I can to upgrade the next house so I could try to chain it. So I'm not having to wait for my thing to recharge. I didn't really notice this. There were no ads in that game. Like typically when you play a free mobile game, you're constantly getting video ads. They had none. They finally added them. But what happens is you can either watch an ad to like gain energy or when you play a level, if you don't beat it,

they give you an option of end the level or pay money to keep playing like five more turns or watch this ad and get two more turns. So I was like, oh, I can finish this in two more turns. I'll watch this ad. I do more turns so I was like I can finish this in two more turns I'll watch this ad I do it I failed I couldn't beat it then I got the same prompt you can watch as many ads as you want and just keep playing the level you will never lose as long as you're willing to watch an ad you get two more turns I did it for eight turns you watched eight ads I watched four ads oh I got two turns per ad I watched four ads for eight turns. You watched eight ads? I watched four ads. Oh. I got two turns per ad.

I watched four ads, did eight turns, beat the level, but it has completely ruined their microtransaction system, which is crazy to me. They don't care. They make your money off the ads. But I just feel like they would be, I've never played a mobile game where you can't lose, and they've also completely negated the reason for spending money.

I don't know. Why don't you see that? I understand what you're saying. No, I get it. But it's just such an odd way to do it. Like, why even have the entire store they've rendered pointless? I'm just have to watch a 15 second ad. It's like they've given up on selling things.

That's what is interesting. I've never seen a mobile game do that. Maybe no one was doing the microtransactions. That's yeah. I think that's logically probably what happened, but I've never seen a game just declare like we are store is pointless. Do not spend money here. Just watch these ads keep playing.

So I've moved on to there is a Gordon Ramsay mobile game called like Chef's Blast. Oh, and this is a weird thing. So it's playing that and he does a surprising amount of voice work for it um so i was like this is ridiculous you're solving puzzles you're unlocking recipes i think i could go two weeks just with the recipes i've unlocked is a weird kind of just random challenge idea i had but i'm playing this and so i shared it as a joke i like tweeted about it and then i made a team for it so i posted in the discord like, anyone who wants to join my Gordon Ramsay Chef Blast team, this is what you search for. And I woke up later and a bunch of people joined

and there's a leaderboard for the team thing and it became super competitive. And I ended up spending my whole weekend playing Chef's Blast. I cleared 100 puzzle levels in the first day and it just kept going. Just everyone got super into it, and I realized part of that is that I missed doing outskirts. Like, I needed something competitive to fill that spot in my life, and it turned into Gordon Ramsay's Chef Blast. People have gotten mild. They've beaten the game.

There's like 480 levels to Chef Blast. Somebody beat it. Like, it's absurd how into it everybody got, but it just turned into this is a joke to waking up of like this is now the most important thing of my life and i'm actually doing this because i miss outskirts as crazy as that there was something so special about outskirts from my perspective because i really loved your streams it was it was like my favorite tv show of the week but imagine if to get your TV show to come on, you had to play Halo better than the TV show could.

And then the TV show comes on. And then I'm so excited for the TV show to come on. And then the TV show just kicks you in the testicles. And then it's back on you for the next time. It's a really odd way to consume content. Does it have to be, like, was there something special about Outskirts that made it unique to that challenge?

Or could you play any other Halo level and just do it again? You don't have to shoot anything. Yeah, well, in my opinion, no. I think we could do other levels. It's just, I'm waiting for Gavin to make that call. If he wants to pick another level, I'd love to do it. I suggested ODST. Andrew sounds desperate, man.

He's playing fucking pay-to-win mobile games. I'm playing Chef Blast. Andrew sounds desperate, man. He's playing fucking pay to win. I'm playing chef. He's desperate. He's been ever since outskirts ended. He's been just coming up with ideas left and right. They're all very good ideas. But I still think the thing that would anger him most is losing outskirts again. Well, yeah, I talked the problem with it, though, is so before we did any of this before face was even a thing. I got into an argument with somebody about who had a higher leaderboard ranking in trials. And I saw that Gavin had all the best beginner times. And I think I've talked about this already. Yeah, I challenged Gavin and I beat all of his times but one. And I played it every day because trials is so easy to drop in and out of. It was how I started my morning and it took me 100 days to beat Gavin's time. I just do it every day. And you can't really do that without skirts like you need momentum it's at least like an hour-long commitment to even get a run like you can't there's a flow to it so it's

tough I know you want to be that time I just don't see you ever having a large enough block that you could purely dedicate to purely annoy me to just annoy annoy me. Yeah. I don't think it happens. There will be a time in my future where I can do that, I think. Probably. I think it'd be more interesting, though, if we just picked a different level. You know what?

You know what, Andrew Padton? What? If I go to England, I'm going to have to quarantine for like 10 days or five if I do the test after day five. Uh-huh. That might be all I need. Are you saying for like an outskirts, you're i do the test after day five uh-huh that might be all i need are you doing out are you saying for like an outskirts you're gonna send a new outskirts time

maybe it's gotta bring an xbox five straight days of outskirts oh i think i can get that done you were so unhappy i i talked to you on that last day the day you lost and i've never heard you sound so depressed it was sad it was the end of something special for us it was and also the it's gone like those streams have vanished twitch has removed them they I guess expired so there's no VOD

of that happening why didn't you save them I didn't typically they last like a month and they changed their policies like how long they last it was like a week does that mean Donkey Kong's gone as well oh Donkey Kong Typically, they last like a month and they change their policies like how long they last. It was like a week. I mean, Donkey Kong's gone as well. Oh, Donkey Kong is long gone, but nobody needed to see Donkey Kong. I love this because I agree with Gavin that it's it turned into great TV. My favorite TV of the last few years was when Andrew was doing his winner winner chicken dinner monthly challenge in uh pub g and then those streams in

uh in halo except it's even better for me because it never punches me in the face i just get to watch it and then get out so i would love it if you guys would strike this up again because i i i'll be honest with you man i'm a i've watched 11 seasons of survivor in the last three weeks and i could use a diff like maybe some variety i think the best part of when i texted gavin that i missed outskirts i put a question mark on it like in my core i didn't mean to but my core was just like do you actually because it was terrible while you're in it is this like you're just remembering the good parts the fun of it but i would love to have another outskirts in our life. That was fun. One day.

One day. We'll see. I mean, it sounds like it could be close depending on. I told Gavin this. So last time we talked about this, you presented it as like I would be annoyed by it. And I was very much like, no, I'd be fine. I'm happy with where it was. I tried to get the time back.

I wanted to do like the King of Kong thing, you know, where like Steve Weeb sets the new record and then Billy Mitchell has that like random video tape. Yeah, I just like submit some VHS tape of the new time. I wanted to get a time faster than the 3.39 and just sit at that final checkpoint and wait for you. And I just, I tried and I was impatient. I was like, I think this might be it. I got 3.40.

I don't think I'll ever pass 339. So if you hit like a 338, maybe it's like the minimum mile or whatever. Like it's good. The bar will be raced. Oh, just getting flashbacks. It's a miserable time while you're in it. That's fun.

It'll be fun. Think about how much fun everybody but you has. Why don't you try it? I would love to see Jeff try it. Oh, no, it's okay. I don't have to do that kind of stuff. I'm going to do a sweet bike trick. I'll do that.

I provide entertainment in scabs for F*** Face. You guys do the video game. Scabs and chains. Yeah, scabs and chains, baby. And shit. And just literal shit. That's how you guys about my shit triangle this week no fucking hell so the other day i wake up uh and i see arrow in the hallway and emily usually i get up you know, she barks and lets me know sometime between typically about 5 a.m. and 7 a.m. Hey, dickhead, if you, I need to go to the bathroom and if I encounter

one second of resistance, I'm going to do it all over everything, you know? So I run out and I try to get her outside and I'm successful 99% of the time. But this, I guess maybe Monday or Tuesday, Emily got up to go to work and i slept in a little bit and so she let arrow out and then i just felt weird and so i got up and i looked and arrow i just saw her in the hallway but something felt odd i couldn't figure it out and then i realized she was taking a shit in the hallway so i ran in there and i was like oh no the sliding glass door had been left shut so i went to open it and like kind of run around her while she's dumping on the carpet in the hallway.

And I fucking first off, I kicked I kicked the shit barefoot. So I got some shit on my big toe. It's like 715 in the morning. I got a shitty big toe and I hit that. So I just keep I just don't break stride. I just keep running into the kitchen to get to the paper towels or something. How did you kick it, though? Because surely you were looking. I was like I was trying to i was trying to run around her and i just like she didn't shit the

straight line anymore she's old and so that was that was like it was it was like a landmine of turds to circumnavigate and so i clipped one uh anyway and so i get into the kitchen and as i'm realizing there's a little bit of duty on my toe, I hit... I didn't see this, because the lights are out. I hit the P, and I slide across the kitchen on P. I don't fall. I don't fall,

but I definitely do Tom Cruise risky business, but barefoot across the P. And so I'm like, now both feet are just soaked in piss, and I still got the duty. And I'm like... And I spring into action. I clean it all up. It's no big deal. Emily actually cleans most of it up because she was horrified you keep going you slide up the wall up the cold no no no that was it that was it right

that was it then uh then later that day i was outside cleaning up dog shit and i was barefoot and i cleaned up all the dog shit and i turned around and I stepped right in a big pile of dog shit that I missed. And I looked down as I stepped in it. It's like squeezed up through my toes. Like I could see. You're barefoot. I just didn't think, you know. And so there was like a pee incident and then two poopy incidents, right?

Oh, so that I count the pee and the poop one together. So then I was getting in Emily's car the other day because we had to take Henry. Henry needed to go to the doctor. Was it because of his sneeze? No, he had a funny sneeze around you though. No, he has a, it was a, yeah, it's some other stuff. But, and I guess he'd been stressed out

because he had to visit a cardiologist and he had to wear like a special doggy vest. And he had maybe leaked a little poop in the seat and i didn't know it and i just sat right down in it and then emily's like uh hold on and then she ran in the house and i'm like i didn't even know and then she like gets me up and i realized that i've sat in in a little bit of butt squirt uh so that that was all in the span of two days and then it hit me it hit me that with the exception of those three incidents things have been going pretty well for me since i i got back from florida uh-huh and i think i i think i realized that if i don't step on shit shit steps on me and that's that's when i realized that that's my place in the universe. I got to stop trying to avoid the literal shit in my life.

That the universe will let me exist in a reasonably C plus B minus life manner. As long as I stop trying to jump my station, trying to live above the literal feces and urine of the universe, that's not going to work for me, right? Anytime I try to get a big head and I try to think like, oh no, I'm better than dog shit.

I'm going to live a life that doesn't require me to live in mired in dog shit and human shit and other kinds of shit. The universe says, it hits me, it knocks me, whack-a-moles me right back into the turds, right? So I'm just gonna embrace it.

I'm not gonna be better. I'm not gonna try to be better than shit anymore. I'm just gonna step on the shit. You can at least make it easier and not be barefoot all the time. I mean, that is true. You can reduce... How often? I don't think it's out of the ordinary to expect to be

barefoot in my kitchen in my hallway at seven in the morning i thought you were a sock i wear shoes enough i thought you were a big i just i had just always just woken up i hadn't taken a shower yet i hadn't gotten dressed yet i was in underwear walking you know i feel like i mean a shoe a sock is no better than a bare foot yeah i, a sock in some ways would be worse. I think a sock would be worse. I'd have to wash a sock. Yeah. Or I'd throw the sock away, right?

And then I'd lose a fucking sock. That was more of my annoyance that you called me weird for never being a sock person. Dude. That's what that comment was about. I issued the first, and to my recollection, only official face retraction over this. That's true. That is true. I apologized.

That is true. And apologized. That is true. And it admitted the heaps of hypocrisy that I reaped on you. I can only apologize so much, Andrew. That's fair. Would you like to confess now you didn't drink the soda before? That this was the first real attempt?

I 100% drank the soda. It just... And Nick went back and listened to it again. And he even verified that he could hear it. And just to prove this time, I couldn't post it on Discord for some reason. So I fucking, I posted the video of me drinking it in the Slack. You guys can watch me drink this stupid thing. Yep.

Second one was verified. I just watched it. Yep. Yeah. I was there. I was there. He's drinking it? Yeah.

He slammed it. Drank the shit out of it. Great check. If I had more sodas, I would do the two and do the 30 seconds. Ooh, does it look, Eric just said it looks like a small Coke. Was that a regulation can?

Yeah, it's 300, hold on, 355 milliliters, 12 fluid ounces. Yeah, yeah, that looks regulation. It's a good chug. You're very faster,

I mean, as far as timing goes. Get a nice view of the shelves in the background too. Yeah. It's very important. Gavin came over and he saw the shelves for the first time and then important i gavin came over and he saw the shelves for the first time and then he uh he seemed to dislike my podcast setup he just kept

saying i don't it doesn't seem like where you would record this doesn't feel right i don't when i picture you doing this like when i'm picturing you right now you're not in there for some reason where am i where do you pick yeah i don't know i mean now that i've been now i've set foot in there i can picture you better more what okay but like right now i can't really picture andrew i've never seen andrew's entire room i don't think so i don't i don't really see him in my mind in like a i'd love to see in a setting like a blueprint of like what you think it looks like the setup that's a great question when you when i see andrew's bedroom the first thing that pops

into me i see a wall on the left is a door to the right is a bed with a nightstand with a bunch of things that don't belong on it then on the floor on the left is a sushi container and in the bed is uh a keyboard that's as big as the bed and then behind me i can't see it but i assume is a desk and a fire extinguisher and that's andrew's room to me yeah i'm sitting the bed in the corner it's got the eight pillows it's got the keyboard there is a bunch of just shit and sushi and minging oh i probably like a mashed in muffin or something. No. On the floor. And then a fridge, a sauce drawer, a desk that isn't suitable as a desk. Probably more of like a drawer thing. It's made of Lego.

I feel like I could do you a diagram. I'd love to see a diagram of what you think. We should both draw Andrew's bedroom. Yeah. I'd love to see it. Yeah. Okay. I want to do that. Okay. I want to do that.

That's a great idea. Nose is the top standard ears. Andrew, do you picture Jeff in his shelf room whenever we're doing these audio only? I picture Jeff as just purely in a room of shelves. I only see shelves.

There's nothing else in the room. He records from an Ikea. Yeah, it's sort of like the end of Interstellar where we're leaning in Interstellar, but the bookshelf thing, going down, that's just all I see. It's just shelving everywhere, is how I imagine Jeff set up. And he's just looking between the books

at just different piles of shit. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. That's what I see. It's all just left socks and turds. Here. Here, this is what you would see that's a lot less interesting than what I imagined it's just it looks like a nice space I just picked up all my left socks off the floor

did you tuck the chain back in I don't see the chain the chain's back in I see it on the left it's alright don't worry the chain's back there. I see it on the left. The chain's back under. Okay. Yeah. It's alright, don't worry about it. The chain's always there. I'm a chain guy now. Alright, so Andrew, if we both draw your room,

could you then turn around in your chair and take a picture of it for next week or something so we can cross-reference? Uh, yeah, I could do that. Okay. I could do that. So, our homework is that we'll both draw a schematic of your bedroom. Now, can you give us any instruction? Like, obviously, like the nose at the top standard

is, which were actually very good instructions, I thought. Okay. Can you give us any tips on the room? Yeah, okay, you want me to explain the layout? Kind of like the key landmarks? Don't give too much away, but just like something that needs to be in there that you think we'll never get. Like, for instance,

how many doors are in the room three doors how many you said three i have so bedroom bathroom and closet uh i don't have uh four doors i guess technically if you want to well there could be a door there it could hypothetically be a door there isn't a door but there could be a door to that space there's three there's three okay i'm imagining something about monsters inc door door at the front door at the front left door at the front right wait wait wait so okay so say say we're looking at we're drawing this from the perspective of if you had a webcam okay yeah are there four doors in the view i don't think you'd see any of the doors in the view if i had a webcam

if i had a webcam yeah i don't think you'd see any of the you might well maybe there's like no doors how many windows are in the room? Does it... Oh my god. Well, technically two. Technically two. And how many can we see from there? If we're trying to match Jeff's picture. I'm trying to figure out what the range would be

of the webcam of what would be... You would maybe... You'd maybe see like half a window. Window at the back, okay? Door to the front. Well, not too far to the back. Door to the front. Standard doors.

Well, I just, I don't know. I'm giving instructions. You wanted me to not be specific. Door to the front. Door at the top. Standard doors to the side. Everything you're doing is making it worse so the door is behind where the camera would be

uh one of the doors yeah one of the doors yeah I thought the camera was against the desk which was against the wall where the window is uh no the wall so the camera

what shape is this room how many walls do you have? Uh, well, one, two... It's a four. It's a standard. It's a regulation four walled room. Okay, a standard box. But somehow, four doors on one wall. Uh, there's... there's... no, there's a door on every wall but one. Okay. We got multiple doors. So we're looking at the wall without doors.

Yeah, you'd see the door without walls. What? The wall without doors. Okay. Yeah, you know what I mean. Yeah, wall at the back, wall back. This is like the end of Interstellar. What's at the end of your bed on the other side?

Like your bed, it goes up against the wall. And then if you were like to scoot off of the front of it. I've just fully moved into the McDonald's and I don't want to admit it. I'm just creating a space. Where's the ball pit? It sits to the back, obviously. Back left. What if. Oh, we're never going to find his damn apartment with his own instructions.

We're going to find where he's in his own room. Jesus Christ. Well, you want me to be vague? I could give very detailed instructions, but you want to... You got to kind of figure out where things are. Okay. All right. Doors at the top.

If you feel like we've got all the instructions... What? Doors at the top. Where do the doors go? All the doors are at the top. They're all at the front. Where do the doors go? Where do they lead? What do you mean by that? What do you mean they're at the top? The top of what? Yeah, they're at the top. Where do the doors go? All the doors are at the top. They're all at the front. Where do the doors go? Where do they lead?

What do you mean by that? What do you mean they're at the top? The top of what? Yeah, they're at the top. Well, the top of the, you know, if you're doing a space, doors at the top. Dude, that makes no sense. But they're not on the floor? What do you mean?

Ceiling doors? No, I'm doing it under the system of nose at the top, doors at the top. Oh, okay. Doors at the top, doors at the top. Oh, okay. Doors at the top. And then standard windows. Standard windows. Well, it's a pretty... No, I think one of them is not a standard window.

Is a window in a door a window, or is it just a door that has a window? Yeah, I've had dreams of it. Does it count? So one of your doors has a window in it? Yeah, one of the doors has a window in it. Is one of the doors has a window in so is it an external door does it go outside the house yes it does oh okay so you have a door thank you this this actually helps so you have a door to your bathroom a door to the interior of your house

and then an exterior door that is correct i had no idea you had an exterior door from your exterior i have an exterior door well it doesn't you have an exterior door. Well, it doesn't, you know, it's, it's, uh, it doesn't lead to, I can't just, I have a very limited space I can go to. And where are we on the, like the appliances in there? Do we have the Keurig in there still? We have the Keurig in there. The waffle maker's in my kitchen now. I made a waffle recently, actually. It's very good. Yeah. Where's the piss lady in reference to this she's to the left which window okay the left yeah did you see her through the window in the door or through the non-standard great question it was the door window door window okay yeah wow never i'd never used the

the window window this is this is changed this has changed the geography of your bedroom for me. I almost, I will say, I had a brief moment. I bought an ice cream maker at like 12, 20 a.m. I was just like, I want to make ice cream. I bought one, and then I went through the process, and I thought I could put it on the other end table so I could have a Keurig to the right and an ice cream maker to the left. I have a fridge.

I could store what I needed. And then I realized I don't know how ice cream is made. Ice cream goes to the left I have a fridge I could store what I needed and then I realized I don't know how ice cream is made goes in the freezer yeah well I could figure I could move it downstairs but if I could just want like a little cone like a cone for me just a little make a little small batch I don't know how ice cream works I realized it's a lot of effort I thought you just poured milk and like some chocolate and stuff and you got like churn it up haven't you well it's yeah it's like a whole it's a whole process, so it's are you doing like an old-timey one No, I googled. What is the best ice cream maker?

And then I found it on Amazon and it was pretty cheap so I bought it and then I Returned it or I cancelled my order like an hour later because I realized that's not a life I want to live I'm not fully committed to the amount of effort it would take to properly use that thing. That's fair. Plus you've barely consideration. You've barely explored pickling and that was a passing interest already. Oh, I think, you know, I could be

open to pickling. I had a surprise pickle and I enjoy it. No, it was pickled onion, right? I had on the Wendy's Korean burger. Yeah, that was good. I could be into pickled things i have some cucumbers if you need them yeah i'd love some i didn't know cucumbers were pickles i talked about that before but that was like a recent realization that blew my mind okay well should we stop doing this i think we can i think we covered did you have anything else

you need to talk about? You're a chain guy. You're doing tricks. Gavin's going to film me on the weekend. What's for next week, Jeff? Oh, I guess I still had the tooth thing. I do have a charger cheek. That turned out to be a real thing.

But we can save that for next week. Or we don't ever have to talk about my mouth again because I fucking hate talking about my mouth and my teeth anymore. Let's just say I'm not out of the woods. Let's just say there's been a hole in my tooth for two fucking weeks, and it's going to continue to be there for a little bit. Can we extend just to anyone who is listening to this, I'd love to see your blueprints of what I described.

Oh, that's a great idea. And maybe we can find the closest one. If people could send in what they think based on the instructions, how it looks, and we'll value it. I might have to draw it from the top down. I'm doing top down. Oh, obviously it's top down. Yeah, what way did you imagine it being drawn?

I always assumed it was top down. I imagined like a blueprint. Yeah, well, I was just going to draw it from like what Jeff's picture looks like. I was just going to draw you a background. Oh, that would be weird. I think that's a strange way to do it. Well, apparently it would.

There's no doors over there or anything. Yeah, it would be a very boring view if you did that. I think you should do a top down, doors at top standard doors all well two of them are standard one of them has a window in it that's the exterior one okay so okay so the final piece of information if we're drawing top down okay where is your desk if i'm looking top down desk at the top where's your bed bed at the back. So wait, you're facing up? Yeah, I'm facing up. Oh god, that's confusing

me already. Alright. Wait, the desk's at the top and the bed's at the bottom? Yeah. And the doors are at the top? Doors are at the top. And the external door is at the top? External door is at the top. And the interior to your house door is at the top and the bathroom door is at the top? External doors at the top. And the interior to your house doors at the top and the bathroom doors at the top?

All the doors are top of the area. If you drew a line in the middle of the room across, they would all be in the top area. Who would do that? So are you looking at a door? If I look to my left, I could see a door. My peripheral, I see

a door. I'm not looking at it, but it's in my peripheral vision. Yes. Imagining a four-walled room with, like, four doors in one of the corners somehow. I don't know how it makes sense. It makes no goddamn sense, Gavin. I'm so confused. They're at the top.

All right. Three doors. I'm going to draw that. One closet. That's important. One closet. Closet doesn't have a door. Could have a door.

You could put a door there. Now, is the closet, if we're looking at the top at the fucking at the wall of doors you have an entire wall that's just doors and then so is is the closet to the left or the right there's only one door per wall they're just all at the top um okay wait okay you went into your closet to avoid the smoke getting in the fire, the smoke alarm, but it doesn't have a door. No, it's a walk-in closet. It's a little walk-in closet with no door. I don't know.

I didn't design it. I didn't build this place. You can put a door on it. How do you mean all four doors are at the top, but they're not all on the same wall? Three doors. There's no... If you want to call the closet a door that doesn't have a door that there's technically one wall with two doors But outside of that there is one door per wall, and they're all at the top

But they're not all in the same wall Gavin I hate this I'm gonna have to listen to this back at like 0.5 speed It's very soon all Gavin, it's very simple. All of the doors are at the top, but they're on different walls. Yes, and I have four walls. They're non-standard windows, and one of them is in a door. Yeah. Well, I've got one

very standard window. One door, not standard window, I'd say. I'd say it's not a standard window. I should draw the room that I thought he lived in before this explanation and then the room that he's convinced me he lives in now they're very different i can't wait to see these drawings i feel like once again like the nose thing you guys said crazy instructions or at least gavin did uh i feel it's very clear i mean based on the information i have i'm gonna draw a room that

defies physics yeah you're gonna have fucking a ceiling full of doors sauce tower also at the top I feel like that's important what's at the top sauce tower the sauce pyramid that I've built the sauce construction your entire fucking apartment is at the top what's on the what's at the bottom my bed my bed in my car It's like a two-dimensional room. It's the opposite of interstellar. I got my bed and my Keurig. I got my end tables. My nightstands. It's not so stellar, is what this is. Do you sleep on a shelf on the wall at the top? How does it work? I sleep on a very comfortable bed. Surrounded by a thousand pillows and a keyboard.

Bed at the bottom. Eric gets it. on a very comfortable bed. Surrounded by a thousand pillows and a keyboard. Bed at the bottom. Eric gets it. Yeah, it could be a Murphy bed. Does not fall out. It takes up a lot of room, though. It's a king-size bed. It's a big bed,

so it's going to eat up a lot of the space in your diagram. Look at you bragging about your bed size. No, it's just the diagram. I'm saying it's going to fill up a lot of space. It's not a big room.

Bed takes up a lot of the room is what you're saying. I'm saying it's a majority of my room is bed, yeah, if gonna measure it well mostly bed that's fair okay okay i'm gonna get to work on this for yeah yeah i'm gonna probably forget and then do it 10 minutes before next week can't wait so i'll get right on that next thursday well thanks for listening to this episode of F*** Face. Another one in the books.

Can you believe that Andrew's room was like that? I drank that whole Budweiser. What a crazy episode. I can't wait to see the trailer that Gavin shoots for Jeff's bike stunts. Find out what happens next time on the next episode of F*** Face. Episode 59. See you next time. Goodbye.

Was the Budweiser this episode? That was ages ago. Oh my God. The way that it came this episode? That was ages ago. Oh my god. The way that it came in was like it was done in post. How many episodes in a row have we done this stupid soda thing now? Well, we didn't do any

last week, but we've done three now. Did we not do any last week? Jeff did one last week, didn't he? Or was that this one? No, that was this one. Oh, no. Yeah, you're right. You're right. We did one. There was one break.

Goodbye. Bye. All right, Eric. We'll see you later. What else do you guys want to talk about? About that window.