Regulation Podcast - Discount Pranking // Farts In Written Word [199]

Episode Date: March 20, 2024

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about Nick wearing the mask, dark humor and therapy, jacking Geoff’s house up, cracking house foundations, Andrew’s discount shopping and pranking, scariest texts to receive from Andrew, the Slop O’clocks, Geoff’s fridge is broken, a book full of F**kface photography, converting fart recordings to written word, time travel, what’s going on with Kate Middleton, smoke alarms going off in the middle of the night, 9 volt batteries, bad ad reads and make goods, podcast training camp, Andrew’s habit of rule following, NYT Connections, the familiar house in Michigan, Gavin doesn’t answer texts, Andrew said trash, a room made from clocks, MVP Nick, and more. Sponsored by BetterHelp http://betterhelp.com/face , Cosmic Crisp http://cosmiccrisp.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face podcast. My name is Jeff Ramsey. With me as always, Andrew Panton, Gavin Free. This is episode 199. Canonically, we are now on our third episode after the greatest episode of all time, so that's pretty cool. Nick's not in the mask. Okay.

Wow. Dude, that was awesome. That was great. Thank you, Gavin. That rocked. Hell yeah. I just caught the dregs of pleasantries, and I can sit back this episode now.

So your guess is gone. All right, well, Gavin's work is done. He's taking Andrew what's what you got well it's I was I saw subreddit thread recently that made me really laugh about how it would have been the funniest thing if Nick would have wore the mask on the first episode post closure that would have been incredible everyone's guard would have been down that would have been the move I feel guard would have been down. That would have been the move. I feel like Nick has really missed some banger opportunities. It's got me pretty impressed as to what he's actually going to pick. Do we know that he hasn't worn the mask already and we just didn't catch it, though?

On the rules that he has to announce it at the end of the episode? That is correct. Oh, let me ask you real quick. Did Nick remember those rules? I i do now but it's okay had a feeling had a feeling about that one but i followed them if that makes you feel better but it's it's honestly the amount of support that we've seen from the community in this last week has been unreal i can't i really just can't believe it it's been very real it's 100 real that support yeah this is take that g Gavin, this is... Take that, Gavin. This is our time to tell you that it is all fake.

We have staged every aspect of it. This has all been a giant prank against you. God, if this was like when Sal Governale came into work late and Howard told everybody, he got everybody to agree to pretend that he had retired on air while he was at Subway. And he was just crying on the couch. If that's all this is. Bernie's

going to pop out of a closet and be like, surprise, I never quit. We're better than ever. Oh, man. If only. Except that we don't have to work with Bernie again, so maybe it's better this way. A little RT humor for you. Sorry.

Sorry, Facebook. I try not to cross the streams too much. Oh, man. Man, I've been... I don't know about y'all, but I've been getting real dark in my head lately. Yeah? Yeah. Not dark like...

Not like dark... Dark like... I want to... Like if people talked about me on TikTok, they couldn't say stuff. Just dark like... Dark humor. I've just been making a lot of mean jokes

about me and my life lately. I don't know how you guys... Oh, yeah? You thinking about maybe restarting some of that therapy? I already did, dude. Yeah, you did? Yeah. Oh, hell yeah.

Oh, hell yeah. First call to my therapist. I was like, I need to un-retire. That's good. I approve of that decision. Yeah, dude. I'm hitting it hard. Oh, my God. Not approve of that decision. Yeah, dude, I'm hitting it hard. Oh, my God.

Not the least of which... What's the one thing that could make... Well, there's probably a couple of things that could make this month better for me. What's the house-related thing that could make this month better for me? Daily handjob? No, I was going the other direction. I got a cracked foundation. I gotta get my foundation fixed.

Oh, no. Yeah, they gotta jack my house direction. I got a cracked foundation. I gotta get my foundation fixed. Oh, no. Yeah, they gotta jack my house up. It's gonna be real. It's gonna be a whole lot of work. It's gonna be real expensive. Which side fell down? The bedroom side?

Yeah, left side. And the right side a little bit. So we're gonna jack the left and the right up. Just a tad. Do you think it fell under your weight of sleeping? It was from all that hard boning I do. Gross. No.

You just pile-drived your house further into the ground. No, I just, I'd like to do, I like to do jumping jacks in my bedroom in the same spot every day. Maybe that's what you said. Maybe I just pushed it down.

So, when they repair a foundation, I have no idea how any of this works. In my head, if I was assigned for the job, I'd have to cut open your entire floor and then we'd pour cement in and then we'd put over the floor.

What is the actual process? Are you imagining into the floor of the bedroom? This is what I'm imagining. Jeff's foundation is made entirely out of cement and it is cracked like the table and narnia did with aslan on it and we need to restore the crack and so we need to fill that hole with more cement so i i don't know how there'd be some type of tech that we could ping to determine where the hole is in the foundation. Oh, like the resonator from Gears of War? Yeah, exactly.

Eric just posted a photo of the prop of it. That is Jeff's house. One, we're done. That is what the repair looks like. We gotta just pour some cement in there, get that all fixed up. Yeah, it's basically, they find the spot in your floor where it's cracked,

and they get a circular saw, and they just do a big circle and just cut the floor out. Then they get a jackhammer. Then they just jackhammer around the concrete. No, they go in from the outside. They tunnel under your house and then they stick iron beams or steel beams in

and then they fucking jack your house up like it's a car. How do they know that it's cracked? How do they make that determination? Well, it's not cracked. It's just shifted. It's moved. I don't know that it's physically cracked. it's just nomenclature i'm using but it's it's it's it's

the house has shifted and moved and where it shifted is on an addition so i think the whole addition has kind of just like on the piss a little bit do you think maybe the bean hole has caused some uh subsidence oh yeah maybe, maybe I dug too close. Nick said his house got jacked 14 inches. Jesus Christ, Nick! Dude, it was bad. Was all your shit rolling into the corner? Yeah, we found out

because the guy who came to check the house was like, hey, why don't you just put down a battery and see what happens? And it rolled from the front of the house to the back of the house. Oh my god, it's hot, damn. It's like wheelie chairs. He's constantly fighting. I remember after Nick got that done, I asked him how it was going,

and he said he had to, like, learn how to walk different in his house. You're walking at an angle. You don't account for it, and then you walk up the stairs, and you slam into a wall because you're not prepared. He had to smooth criminal while he was just stood in the middle of the house. Navigating through his house like a Sherpa. It felt like it.

God damn. That's fucking awesome. Just imagine he puts down a glass of wine and it's just like 12 degrees in the glass all the time. I need to see a photo of what a house looks like when it's lifted because what i'm imagining can't be man it's pretty common in texas we got shitty dirt here a lot of houses a lot of houses foundations have problems i lived in the the first house i lived in was on a street. I was the third house in a long row, right? And there were 12 houses on the street.

Houses 12 through 4 cracked in a row. When it got to my house, I sold it and moved. Just outrunning this crack. I outran the crack, yeah. That's crazy. Look at these pictures of how they do it. I can't believe it doesn't just

cut the house in half. How does it not crack somewhere else in the wall? You think that the way that they should do it is to cut the house in half? No, he's saying he's surprised it doesn't. Yeah, how does it not crack the walls when you lift up one side of the house? It does. I mean, it does. The problem is it does.

Yeah. This is how you know that you need to get your foundation repaired. What they're trying to do is save you from having to find out that you need to get your foundation repaired. Yeah, you fix it now before you have that. Can I just keep it in the elevated state? What if I like having my house be a little bit taller, like the platform shoes of houses? I mean, they're not jacking it higher than it needs to go they're gonna jack it right up to where it's level and then yeah

they're not walk then fill the dirt i see they're not like stilting it permanently but can't i just stilt it permanently can't we just maintain the level and go higher if i wanted to you could also just buy a house on stilts true and not many of them live by the ocean there's tons of them dude andrew there's so many stilted houses there's so many stilted houses entire gulf coast is stilted houses there's millions gracie just said move to galveston yeah galveston texas has stilted houses i don't like stilted houses that much i don't like galveston texas i'm with you man 100 i hear you the only problem with the stilted house is where where it is you got to live in the fucking gulf coast dog shit yeah but you can do stilted houses here right sure i think it would be really funny to be the only stilted house on a

block just a suburban neighborhood and one house is stilted just being superior enjoying that height advantage over all the other homes looking down on them that would be my dream then you could piss out of that window oh man the ring yeah gracie just posted a stilted house that looks oh see that's that's nice i would live there yeah that's really pretty where is that gracie Gracie? Google. I have no idea. Oh, we'll just say Galveston. Yeah, sure. That's Deputy Indiana. I didn't know people were living like that.

Yeah, right. That house is worth more than Deputy Indiana. Yeah. I bet you could buy all of whatever unincorporated Indiana that is, Deputy, for half of that house. You know, us talking about your house problems reminds me of a thing I did recently I should talk about. Did you fly down to Texas and secretly crack my foundation? Because if so, I'm going to be annoyed.

No, no, I didn't. Oh, you know what this you already know. This isn't news to you. This news to other people. I I don't know if you've heard, but the company is closing. I don't know if you've heard, but the company is closing. And as a part of that, there's a big sale happening at the Rooster Teeth store. Selling a lot of merch.

Got all sorts of stuff you can buy. A lot of it going on heavy discount at points. I was at the store. I was looking at the store. I've been doing a thing. Um, I was at the store, I was looking at the store. I've been doing a thing. I've kept a personal list of our merch and how much inventory we have of all the items. So I have an idea roughly of what we have the most of and what we don't.

And I was looking at our store and I noticed that the clock, our slop o'clock, which is our least, the most bought item for selling and the least sold item I think we've ever made was on sale for $1. It's a dollar. It's a great, that's a great deal. Then on top of that, I have a staff discount, which is 75% off any item or any,

or yeah, great discount. So I, you know, Jeff talked about in a recent episode him wanting to prank me which puts me on guard which makes me want to strike first so i texted jeff hey i'm i want to make an order from somewhere u.s shipping prices are high can i send something to you and then whenever i'm around next could, I'll just pick it up from you.

Do you mind if I do that? And Jeff said, yeah, that's fine. And then, uh, I took that information and proceeded by ordering 1,001 slop of clocks and sending them to Jeff's address. I also bought 75 waffle makers and sent those to Jeff's house.

Uh, my two orders. I then proceeded to tell Jeff, that's kind of big, but good news is I got free shipping. So thanks. He's Jeff was like, awesome. It's great.

And then I thought about what I had done and I was trying to imagine because I got free shipping on those thousand one clocks and I was like how like just I'm trying to imagine this because it's hard to imagine a number of that scale for clocks and I did a rough calculation of if you were to lay the clocks down and by and not even including the packaging just the clock itself it would have went on for 330 yards because like almost three and a half football fields um then i felt guilt i felt genuine guilt it was at that point you felt guilt huh you didn't feel good at any point before okay no it was at that point i felt man you know jeff jeff i don't know i don't know

where he's at mentally for this joke i think it's really funny i think there's a point in which jeff would think this is funny that's gonna tip his house completely it may correct it honestly it may fix it we don't know could it use the clocks to prop the house up, maybe. Yeah, you definitely could do that. So then I broke and I texted Jeff and I said, Jeff, I need to be honest with you. This is how you doing emotionally because it is a really big order that I sent you. And as like a bit. So if you're not, I can, I'll figure something out

if you're not in a place to deal with this. And Jeff replied by saying, well, how big are we talking? Are we saying like the size of a shoe box or the size of a couch? There's nothing worse than a text from Andrew that starts with, I need to be honest with you. Yeah, I know.

And by the way, I was hanging out with Burndog and Vanessa. So as soon as he said that, everybody was texting you. We were all crowded around my phone. See, I don't know if I agree. Gavin, I don't know if I agree because I think the scariest text that you can get from Aaron is where he says, Can I trust you to keep it a secret? That was in my panic phase.

That's a bad one. That was in my panic phase. And a bad one i was that was in my panic phase and i was like i need to talk to someone to like validate that this is funny and jeff isn't gonna just murder me and be angry about this so i reached out to eric and eric more i'd say push me over the edge of i should be concerned and i said he's gonna kill you yeah so the problem is because as i said the company is dying uh in the event someone missed it um there's a big banner there's a big banner on the site that says in all caps all sales final with three exclamation so i can't i couldn't cancel the order so after jeff explained that he was not in a position to handle a thousand one clocks uh and that i had to to relocate it it turned into i had this missile of a thousand one slop

of clocks that i couldn't shoot down and it's gonna crash somewhere and I had to deliver it so I gave Jeff the opportunity I said just either give me an address of anyone you know that you want to send this to and I will swap it to that or I have an alternative I think all I said was

I don't care just undo it from my house I phrased this to Andrew saying please don't care just undo it from my house I died how did you phrase this to Andrew saying please I said undo it now I think is what I said Jeff was I was surprised that Jeff didn't like just send this to Jack's house or something it seemed like Jeff did not want to crash this missile into anyone that he knows well first off I didn't think that they were going to ship it. The shipping cost on that alone I think is like...

I think it's free shipping within reason. I can't imagine they would have actually shipped the clocks out. I mean, that's pallets of clocks. That's going to have to be like freight delivery. Yeah. I had a slop o'clock here, so me and Burned Dog and Vanessa, we measured it. It gets real big real fast when you put a thousand on there.

I'm just imagining Jeff having to deal with it. It's like that scene in Hook with all the clocks. Oh, it'd be like the fucking porta potty all over again, times five. You could wallpaper. You could just tile a house. It was like he was gonna drop six porta potties in my front yard, essentially. So then this went to the next phase where i had to figure out okay well who i didn't want to lose the free shipping so i had to think of who else do i know in austin uh because i can't cancel and the the guy the an immediate friend of mine came to mind

who i thought oh he wouldn't he won't kill me if I do this to him was the guy I used to do applesauce races with. So I messaged him. I said, hey, can you give me your address? And he sent it immediately and then said, I feel like I probably shouldn't have done that. That seems like a mistake that I just gave you my address. I take it back. Hey, can I have your address? Yeah.

So then he replied, I was like, no, do you want some free merch? And he said, yeah, that'd be awesome. Thank you. And I was like, cool, you got it coming your way. And then he's also the person I sent a battle bus to in the past. Oh, yeah. And I said, oh, the inflatable one. Yeah.

I was like, hey, do you still have the battle bus? And he past oh yeah and i said oh the inflatable one yeah i was like hey do you still have the battle bus and he said i do and i said you you're gonna want to get rid of that because you're gonna need some room for this merch and then he replied okay i'll do that tomorrow i have a garage don't worry about it i'm all good and i replied i'm glad you're all good i was worried it would be too much i'm glad you've got this covered. And then I woke up the next morning and I felt guilt about that as well. And I had to once again have this conversation of, hey, it's a thousand one clocks that are coming your way. Are you OK with this? And they're like, I don't I don't have room for a thousand one clocks which then led me back to the original problem of this missile is flying and i feel like i need to get it locked

in before it initiates being shipped and so then i just tweet who wants a thousand one clocks and uh i realized a lot of people think they can handle a thousand one clocks without really understanding the logistics of it there were a lot of people that were like, yes, but I just don't think that those majority of them really appreciated both the weight and scale of a thousand one clocks. But eventually somebody, Colin Parker, agreed to take it. He's an awesome guy. And I felt relieved. I was like, OK, let's let's we don't need to worry about stress.

The person knows what's coming. That's going to get it. This is all handled. But then I was curious. So I messaged Tony and I said, just out of curiosity, do you know how much a thousand one clocks weighs for what it is? And Tony said, give me a minute. And he got back to me and revealed that it would have weighs on nine hundred pounds.

A thousand one clocks yeah weighs 900 pounds and then half a ton of clocks i uh reached out was like yeah i need to i emailed about it already but i really need to change the address of where that order is going um could uh could we change it and he said let me reach out to someone and then uh there's a long break and then uh i got another slack from a different person on the merch team saying hey can we cancel your thousand one clock order because uh people are stressing out about it the amount it would lose in ship like the cost of shipping would cause us to lose so much money that we can't do you cancel it and i felt a tremendous amount of relief to

learn that the missile could be shot down you might be the worst person in the world to have around during the final month or so of a company's existence. All these people trying to get all their ducks in a row and then you fire a bowling ball into the middle of the ducks. Any other time in my life, other than the disillusion of my company, I would have rolled with it. Had you done this and pulled it off, it would have fundamentally changed the relationship

you and I share. We would still do a podcast together. I would still consider you my friend, but it would take things to a level, Andrew, that there would be no coming back from. Oh my god. I had my plan laid out of my

first line of defense, if it would have went through, was that I did technically ask permission before I did it. My second line of defense would be arguing that I'm buying merch to sell from a store later, that I could then resell this at an almost definite profit, considering what I bought it for. Eric said, why do I need a line of defense?

Because it's 1,001 clocks, Eric. You need the plan. There's going to be waves. Do you know why we had a thousand and one clocks laying around for you to buy? Because nobody fucking wanted them. Hey, it doesn't matter how cheap we buy them. Nobody wanted those fucking clocks. I don't even remember the decision to

sell a clock. I remember the original number being wrong on it. I thought it was funny. But, you know, I guess they can't all be fridge magnets, you know? I stand by it. I think it was a great product that made sense with the thing that we were doing and it's a great design. I don't know

why people didn't want it. I agree. I agree on all those points. I took down a clock I've had for 10 years and replaced it with a great design. I don't know why people didn't want it. I agree. I agree on all those points. I took down a clock I've had for 10 years and replaced it with a slopper clock clock. And I love it. It's in my living room. Mine's hanging right behind me in my office. Yeah, it's the only piece of face gear I have displayed in my house.

That was a blizzard. I think it's really funny that Gavin, the guy who has never attended a merch meeting ever, says, I don't remember that conversation. Well, because you silly bastard, a lot of the merch that we sell comes from discussions in the episode. Speaking of merch that are discussions in the episode,

our very last face drop, our very last face drop ever is March 29th, Friday at 10 a.m. We'll have the sloppy Joe's Jersey and foam hands and the cookbook. We're going out on top. That's our very last merch drop. I'm letting you know right now in the middle of this episode,

March 29th, 10 a.m. Last face drop ever. It's going to be so bittersweet to end on the cookbook because I think it's the merch I'm the most proud of that we've made. I just think it's tremendous. And Tony did.

And that whole team did such a good job on it. I'm glad we're going out on a high note. But man, it sucks that there won't be another cookbook right behind it, you know? And is it true that we've sold over a thousand Raty Boy shirts? Yeah, it's almost our number one shirt all time. I think it's going to dethrone Anal Passage. Yeah, it's pretty close.

It's very close. It's unbelievable. We need... We need Ratty Boy. We need Eric Unito. Don't talk to me about Ratty Boy. I don't want him. We need Ratty Boy.

Listen. I don't want him. Ratty. Listen, I don't want anything to do with him. The fucking Bart Simpson looking ass. I don't want Eric. They're about to put a thousand one clocks back in the store and I'll get another missile ready. I'll figure out where you live. We can, we can keep those clocks in my studio.

If you want, there might just be a thousand clocks behind me in the next slow-mo. I need to talk to Merch to figure out what is the maximum amount I can buy within one order to get free shipping. Yeah, here's the issue with the free shipping. Is that he was trying to ship 900 pounds of clocks on free shipping the loss they would have eaten on that would have negated anything we've ever done that would have been astronomical yeah that would be the worst we might go out of business if we did something like that the other side part of this uh that that made me really laugh is i had learned independently

that my friend path had bought like 700 million dollar butt card games and uh when i i when when i got reached out to about canceling my order i'm like oh i'm so sorry i didn't mean to cause stress i didn't realize that there was a scenario in which this would be bad on that side. I didn't think it mattered at this stage. But he said, no, it's fine. It's just your order and some other person's order who ordered like a thousand pounds of cards.

And it was so funny to be able to go, I know that guy. That's not related to me. I had nothing to do with that, but I know that guy. That's fine. They're going to cancel that to do with that, but I know that guy. That's fine. They're going to cancel that, no problem. Don't worry about it.

I almost left my 70 or 75 waffle makers being sent to Jeff. I thought about pretending that I forgot that I had also made that order. Yeah, you never mentioned the waffle makers. I'm learning about them right now in real time. Yeah, Jeff would get hit by those. But then I reached out to Jeff and and i said how's it going and jeff you said my fridge is broken the fridge that you've waited over a year for it's not there surely it's surely not broken i don't know so here's what happened i woke up the other morning and my fridge was beeping at me and I opened it up and on

the digital display, there was a little wrench icon. And so Emily, Emily actually is the one that found it. So she, there's a card in my, in my fridge that has like, you pull out like a plastic card that says like what to do in case of shit, you know? And it says like for the wrench, it means you, you need to clean the coils. So it shows you need to clean the coils. So it shows you how to do that. You turn the fridge off, you clean the coils and then turn it back on.

It should be good as new. So I did that, turned it back on and it just kept beeping. And so I did it again and it just kept beeping. And so I called the fridge support line because because I have a full warranty on it. And she was like, oh, yeah, this happens from time to time. What you need to do is just flip your circuit breaker for a minute, turn it off, and then turn it back on.

It should be good. And so I did that, and it went away. The beeping went away for one hour. And then it started again. And then I just flipped the breaker breaker again and it went away again for about one hour and uh then i flipped the breaker again and it went away again for a couple of hours and then it came back so i flipped the breaker again and then it went away and it just hasn't come back but if it does I'll just flip the fucking breaker again.

I don't care. That's all I can do. That's all I got. It was it was that was the tone I got from Jeff when I asked how things are going. And he told me about the fridge and then said, I'm on the support line. I have to go, which I don't think Jeff has ever texted me. I have to go for any reason. So as soon as that conversation ended, I immediately went back to the store and said, can we please?

We have to. Jeff is not ready for these waffle makers. We need to cancel it. At what point since the news has he seemed ready for any of this at any point? That's actually an interesting question how many times have we spoken since the news that i haven't burst into tears at least once well it's largely today's gonna be the first day i think it's been over text a lot of the time so i'm crying the whole time that yeah that's fair but i got it we've thankfully got that order taken down so you're there's no

it's all gone if you you are looking in the store for waffle maker or a clock there will be one available if not already then soon the reason in that moment I said I had to go is because I had to focus on what the lady was about to tell me because if what the lady was about to tell me was in any way bad, I was probably going to snap and lose my mind. And then I was just going to start.

I don't know what would have happened. But I needed to focus on that. So I had to be like, I had to sever personal relationships for what was about to happen and then it just didn't happen so that was cool that was cool

either way I made the right read of I need to kill these waffle makers as soon as possible something was gonna get killed and I'm glad it was the waffle makers wherever you're going you better believe American Express will be right there with you. Heading for adventure? We'll help you breeze through security.

Meeting friends a world away? You can use your travel credit. Squeezing every drop out of the last day? How about a 4 p.m. late checkout? Just need a nice place to settle in? Enjoy a room upgrade. Wherever you go, we'll go together that's the powerful backing of american express visit amex.ca slash ymx benefits vary by card terms apply i was gonna say the other thing i just my last point on this which was adds to the chaos i forgot to mention uh previous and uh not to alarm people but the company in fact is closing uh the day that it's the news came out i was set up on my new phone

so we talked about my history of my umidigi my alarm going off i had to get a new umidigi and i i got the umidigi bison so i i got a powerful new phone that I was very excited about. How much was this for? A hundred dollars on sale. Is this the phone that wouldn't let you respond in the group text? Well, that's that's what I'm going to get to. I just set this phone up and then the news comes out that the company's closing. And immediately I want to go to the group text just to be like, I love you guys.

And none of my texts will go through um and I think it's because I recently got a text saying that if your phone is iPhone 6 generation or older and I wasn't sure when the umidigi bison came out uh we will no longer support group text that individual text will work but group text will not so I can look in the group group text chat and see what you but group text will not so i can look in the group group text chat and see what you all are saying and i think i can like put an emote on messages but i couldn't write anything and it was just a disastrous time to learn that your phone does not work in a group text setting it was awful andrew made me his stenographer so he would text me what he wanted to say to the group and then i would text from andrew and then i thought this is a long-term problem but thankfully uh you know the umidigi

brand uh one of my many favorite things about it is you have to manually set up your mobile network which i'd never had to do before by like adjusting APN settings. And I guess I had done it correctly to enable the ability to use mobile data without a Wi-Fi connection, but I didn't set up the texting aspect of it correctly. So I went back in and I was able to fix it. I'm now back in the group text, but it was just the worst timing to not have access to a group chat, especially one that you could see.

I kind of felt like Matthew McConaughey behind the library in Interstellar at the end where he's like yelling at the wall. Like I could see what was happening, but I couldn't interact with anybody. It was infuriating. You're just thumping on your screen and all our watch hands are wobbling.

I'm just thumping on the bison. And it's, yeah, wouldn't work, but I'm excited. My camera's worse than before. It's a lower quality camera. Is it lower than 50 megapixels? Yes, it is. It's a lower camera.

Does it say Umi Digi on it? It does not, sadly. That was the first thing I tested. I really wanted it to say Umi Digi Bison in the bottom left. It doesn't. There's no watermark. You know, if we ever get to a point where,

or I shouldn't say if, when we get to the point where we're making merch again, we should do a coffee table book of Andrew's Umi Digi photos that we collect throughout the history of the space. Like lovely, high quality coffee glass. Huge glass. I think like the nicest coffee table book you have

that somebody, it's like 125 bucks and you feel stupid that you own it but you wanted to put something on your you know and it's like art you don't even really understand you just want to look important but inside it's just fucking pictures of ping pong balls blown up with the umidigi logo on the bottom left i feel like we could do the entire photography of face like jeff's's like sideways blurry pictures are there too. That'd be that'd be fun. Let me get a preview for you. I just took a photo right now.

My screen. What our book would look like. And this fucking phone sucks. Speak one. While he's while he's doing a new one. While he's doing that. Please don't. Please don't send him a new one while he's doing that uh please don't please don't send him a new one this is perfect uh he needs to be able to talk to us though he fixed he figured it out he set up his mobile ipn network and now he can talk to us yeah he put an eagle emoji so he

can talk to us it's fine well while he's trying to figure out how to send that i had an idea for a book i want to talk to you guys the other day i i not to send that I had an idea for a book I want to talk to you guys do it I not the idea I just had right now but a previous idea that I had I don't know if you guys have been paying

attention and by you guys I mean face crew but I'm back on that fart game I've been recording I've been recording a lot of farts lately been sending you guys a lot of farts

could I play the one I got last night yeah sure not my best work it's pretty good the other one i had the other day was a lot wetter uh i played it in bed and meg was next to me and she was just like and then she was like that wasn't his best no i gotta work on it. I didn't have any farts in me this morning. I tried.

But anyway, I've been sending you guys farts, and I've been kind of just really enjoying the whole recording fart process again and the whole thing. And I got to thinking, wouldn't it be cool to release an audio book called 1,001 Farts? And it's just 1, and one of my farts

it's gonna be people listening to the first 45 seconds going okay and then turning it off no one's gonna listen to a thousand farts sure they will who's gonna leave that on i will it won't be a thing it'd be like uh it's like maybe how long does it take you to do a thousand if it's a short book and it's just a fart a page and it take you to do a thousand? It's a short book. And it's just a fart a page. And it would be funny if I also sold an Amazon Unlimited version that's not audio. And then I just write out what each fart sounds like.

Do you think we can then take your written farts and get Stephen Fry to narrate it? Yes. Yes. Yes. So we'll have... So what we would have to have is the... We'd have to have the written book adaptation of the audio book

then translated into audio. I really like the idea of it being a physical book where you read it and it's just the text of the noises. Yeah. We've got Andrew's picture. Might want to clean the lens. No, it's clean. That's a clean lens.

You sure you didn't drop milk all over it? I'm positive. Did you maybe rub Vaseline on the front of it? Oh, no, the bison is clean. Don't you worry about that. That looks like it's from so many years ago. Yeah. I also heard Eric and Nick's time travel bit,

but it was at the beginning of the episode. Where did it need to be? It needs to be right in the middle. Like you're interrupting the episode for the future. You just came in at the start. Why was it from the future if it was at the beginning? That's as close as we could get with time travel. We could only get, we just, we could get

near the episode, and so that's as close as we could get. I fucking loved that you guys did that because I had completely forgotten about that. And when I heard it, I went, what the fuck are they? Oh! Good for them! And then I thought exactly what Gavin thought.

Why are they from the future right now? Why would they put them? Again, I want to reiterate that it's an inexact science, as Nick says. When you're time traveling, you can get close. It's the thing where in Time Cop, you can't touch yourself or you become a monster or whatever. It's just sort of like that. Why don't next time you try and get on the other side of the intro music we can try but again no pinpoint you know what we'll try before our next merch drop comes out and we'll see if there's we'll see where we can land it might gavin i'll be honest with you it might be at the beginning

again it's not up to us it's not up to us. It's not up to us. It's just the way this happens. I feel like Nick was really working hard to keep the time portal open. Yeah. Yeah, he was. The best part of it was just every like 10 seconds, Nick would just be like, That's so good.

You guys are wonderful. was awesome yeah two out of ten for placement but ten out of ten that's a 12 it's not on us that's just where it landed man hey that's a 12 out of 20 that's not bad that's not bad yeah it's not very good either. Hey, can I, all kidding aside, and by the way, I'm serious about the 100, 1,001 farts book, so please don't let me forget. I do need to record 1,001 farts. You got a lot of work today. That's like, that could take you longer

than Andrew's 20,000 things. It might, because they're not all, I would say one out of every four farts is ebook worthy, you know? So I'm gonna have to fart out, I'm gonna have to record 4,000 farts to get 1,001 good farts is ebook worthy, you know? So I'm gonna have to fart out. I'm gonna have to record 4,000 farts to get 1,001 good farts. And think of the amount of piss that you're gonna have to sift through.

Yeah, that's a lot of piss. Maybe I should just start recording my shits and then try to connect with those farts. You would know. Pretty splattery. Anyway, speaking of something serious for a second, though, I know, as Andrew mentioned, Rooster Teeth's

closing down. That's not the only serious thing that's going on right now. Gavin, as a friend, I'm pleading to you, let me know, because I know you know, you're British. Where the fuck is Kate

Middleton? What's going on? I just can't divulge that. You have to. You just don't have the right passport. Nobody's seen her since December 25th, Gavin. What did they decide? The picture of her was a load of bollocks? The picture of her with the kids was a load of bollocks.

It's heavily photoshopped in a lot of weird ways. There have been... Dude, I have fallen down down the it's actually helped keep me sane uh i have ignored my rooster teeth pain by watching one million tiktoks about kate middleton it's all i do uh now as i just i've and then when emily gets home i give her reports uh it's uh it's it's i think that the one of her and the three kids from mother's day is heavily photoshopped people are pretty think that the one of her and the three kids from mother's day is heavily photoshopped people are pretty sure that the face is from a 2016 vogue cover uh the outfits that all the kids and her are wearing are identical outfits to when they were uh at a like doing like a food kitchen like three weeks earlier and they just looks like they photoshopped the

color of her sweater to be black but they don't even make that sweater in black they only sell it in uh bone and camel do you think right a little bit creepy the amount of time people have spent on this though yeah but what else are people gonna do the world's on fire man you gotta you gotta you gotta get into something and if these people don't do it then the royal family gets away with it. Here's the facts, dude. She hasn't been seen since December 25th. December 28th, an ambulance is seen leaving the residence and they've never divulged who was in it or what was happening. Then she and William, right before December 25th, announced that they're going to go on a spring trip to Italy. And then in January, they go, oh, by the way, she's going in for a routine

stomach surgery. Why would she schedule a trip to Italy if she was going for a routine stomach surgery? And then their nanny quit in the middle of it and she's Spanish. And then the Spanish journalist came out and said that she had an inside source from the house who said that Kate Middleton is in a coma.

And then Kensington came out and said, that's not true. And then the journalist doubled down on it. What about that? What about this whole thing about whether Prince William has been, or I'm sorry, yeah,

William has been having an affair with their next door neighbor who apparently likes to peg him. What about that? What about their friend, Kincaid, who just committed suicide by shooting himself in the head when nobody in England even has a gun? What about their friend, Kincaid, who just committed suicide by shooting himself in the head when nobody in England even has a gun? What about that?

And then Camilla didn't go to the funeral. Only William did. And then when it was announced that Charles had cancer, even Harry came back to spend 45 minutes with him. But William hasn't even issued a public statement. And Kate Middleton was in the hospital for 14 days and William only visited her once on day three. And then Prince King Charles visited her once on like day eight and her kids and other family didn't visit her at all.

What the fuck? And there's more. I'm stopping here because I could go forever. Previewing here first, Jeff's What About That? new podcast on the Midlife Crisis Network coming to you soon. I want to show Jeff of you just yelling, what about that? I'm telling you, this Kate Middleton shit is sinister. I don't give a fuck about the royal family. I've often wondered if there's a scenario. I don't give a fuck about the royal family.

I've often wondered if there's a scenario. I don't give a fuck about the royal family. I care about Kate Middleton. I don't want to see her go the way of Princess Diana. You just want it to be all right? Yeah, I just want her to be safe. I want her to know she's fine. I don't want her to get fucking knocked off in a car somewhere.

I hope she just pops up in six months and it was all for nothing. Me too. My point is that I will never care, is what I've learned from this conversation. There is no no amount of intrigue or mystery around the royal family can make me care about anything to do with the royal family. I am just immediately checked out. Well, it's good that you have a friend like me, Andrew, because I care enough for both of us. You can carry that that care for us i got i'm on it i fucking wear it it's a badge of honor i care how is jeff the most invested in this when gavin

this is your royalty and andrew this is also sort of your royalty isn't canada still connected sort of come on yeah but like the story of this podcast dude i always care a little more they're on the money is that right right? Oh, yeah. Big time. I don't know. I just feel like her privacy's all gone and it's weird. It is a strange line. I agree. But people just want to know she's okay.

They could issue some sort of a response. What if she's not okay? What are they supposed to say? People want to know. Why are they covering it up? Why are they hiding it? What if she's dead? I'm up why are they hiding it what if she's dead well i'm sorry i'm sorry it's tiktok what if she was what if she's unalive jesus if you haven't heard please calm yourself the company is unalive i don't want to alarm anyone but I gotta focus on something other than the dumpster fire of my life.

So the Kate Middleton thing, it's just hitting that spot for me. I think my house was waiting to hear the news that I was no longer employed. And it's just decided to shit itself. You say that. You've had a fungus. You've had a fungus growing on the side of your home. Well, I've always had my fungus in my slime. But now my disposal in the sink is packed up.

Doesn't go. And about once a week at exactly 3 a.m. And I don't know why this is. A different smoke detector starts beeping. It's like all the batteries were put in at the same time and now they're all running out one by one, but they

only run out at 3 a.m. If someone understands how the frick in hell that is possible, please let me know. It's always three. Like exactly three? It will take 10 minutes, but it's always like,

here we go again. And now I'm up a ladder at 3.15 in the morning trying to not fall off mainly and then also try and change it'll take 10 minutes but it's always just like here we go again and now i'm up a ladder at 3 15 in the morning trying to not fall off mainly and then also try and change the battery why don't you this is a life pro tip i read on reddit that i don't follow myself but i feel like is a good one why don't you just change every battery at the same time when one chirps and then you'll know they're all fresh because it's 3 a.m and i just want to go back to sleep and then the next morning i think oh it's gonna be a while waste of batteries

how's it a waste of batteries i don't think it's a waste of batteries at all because i do the same thing i well gracie says well because what if some of them are good and then you're just wasting the rest of the good battery dude well i think because it's been so many years, they're all not good I think is what's happening. Hypothetically, but they could be prematurely replaced. Gavin, do you love getting all this advice from people who do not follow any of this advice themselves?

Or are you just... Every time I have to change a battery for me it's the smoke alarms, but also it's my home alarm system, you know like the glass break sensors and stuff. You have to change the batteries. For me, it's the smoke alarms, but also it's my home alarm system, you know, like the glass break sensors and stuff. You have to change the batteries on those. And there's like, I don't know,

like a billion of those in my house, and I'm constantly hearing something chirp and having to go be like, oh, glass break sensor in the bedroom, fix that, and then think, I should just change them all right now. And then I go, nah, fuck it, I don't need to do that. And then I'm you, and four days later, I'm doing it again. Constantly. I it, I don't need to do that. And then I'm you. And four days later, I'm doing it again.

Constant. I also, I didn't have a 9-volt. I just never have those. So I'm rummaging around trying to pull them out of other shit. Pulled one out of the keypad of my safe. That's why you get the battery caddy

like I've been saying. I have one. It's just empty on the nine volts. Oh, wait. Mine too. The alarm and Nick's voice. Oh, no. I found that on my disposal as well, there's like a bolt underneath. So I can put a wrench on and manually turn it to try and grind up all the the stuff and i turned it and it went because there's clearly something stuck in it and then

that got stuck and then the wrench got stuck on the bolt so at the moment it's uh at the moment i just have to make sure i leave it unpowered in case i forget and turn it on and it wings a wrench into my shins i uh i had a i i have a new badge of honor jeff i don't know if you've ever accomplished this gavin doesn't do ads i had an ad scrapped it's the first time nick shut down one of my ads he said said it was not. It was not clear. Oh, maybe he made me redo it. Have you ever had to redo an ad, Jeff? I've had to not redo an ad before it came out, but the company has had to apologize and do for ads that I've done that were released. I was...

It's over now, so I don't care. I did an ad... We did a video for Fortnite when it came out that they were not happy with. And we had to do another video for Fortnite and I was not allowed by Epic to be in the video. Was that before Fortnite was Fortnite? It wasn't Battle Royale yet.

It was just like some... It was the zombie thing. It was like a horde movie. Yeah. Remember this one? Yes. was that before fortnite was fortnite it wasn't battle royale yet it was just like some yeah it was the uh the zombie thing it was like a horde movie yeah remember this one yes fucker devil may cry 5 i got in trouble for that one too what happened with that one it's the best ad read of all time and it was dragging and so fucked and they're like you have to do it again we have to do a make good for this it was it is the ad that everyone points to like man ad should be like this you know who doesn't

feel that way companies yeah that was why don't we just get them approved before they go was that was it live yeah it was at the sunshine room uh downtown uh it was at the Sunshine Room downtown. I mean, Jeremy got super drunk. Yes, everyone got fucking hammered, and then it was just that thing,

and then me, somebody filming me falling apart because I was producing that show at that time. Maybe some companies need to do some research over the idiots that they're hiring, though. A hundred percent agree with you, Gavin. A thousand percent. And that's why we have a lot to figure out in the coming months.

Well, anyway, welcome to the club, Andrew. Thank you. What did you do wrong? Well, yeah, I think in my defense, I think I'm in the right on this scenario. I think this is a mistake. You think Nick's in the wrong? No, I don't think nick was in the wrong to make the decision he made but i think that anyone in my position would have also probably made the same mistake assuming you didn't fully read the copy ahead of time um you get the copy and what i typically do it was for a company

that uh we've never had an ad from before, and so I was scanning it mainly to find the sections where they're, like, improvised in this section or, like, what the demands are for reading this thing, but I didn't read, like, every single line. How far drilled into the safety deposit boxes of Payday were you when you were scanning through this? This was, can't blame payday on this one but uh

essentially it was for a deodorant company and there's some line about do you want to smell like a zero and i went on this monologue about how you don't want to be there's no scenario in which a zero is good outside of maybe golf but even golf is like you want to be minus so that's not great or maybe like debt owing is a scenario in which you'd want to see a zero but outside of that nobody wants to be a zero and then i continue to read through the copy and at about the middle point of it there's a section about how people that use this deodorant then scored a a like a a smell level of zero compared to other people who after using this deodorant for x amount of time smelled like a six on the smell scale and that you want to

smell like a zero not a six so i realized that the thing i was shitting on at the beginning of like you don't want that nobody wants to be a zero and then the copy said so don't you want to be a zero and i had to i had to pivot and say disregard everything i said previous to that uh ignore that you want you don't want to smell like uh a six be a zero why did you just go again why did you just go again? Why did you just edit? Why did you do everything as a wanna? Because I don't know how to... I don't know that we're allowed to edit. I keep forgetting that that's a thing that we can do. What are you talking about?

What the fuck does that mean? I feel like it's helpful to Nick if I do one-ers. So I tried to do every single ad read I do. What about what you did is helpful to Nick well I thought it was funny I thought it played well and I thought maybe I recovered in the back half so I let

I let Nick know that that's what happened and then I didn't hear anything for a day and I thought I guess that's fine I'm excited for that ad to come out and then he said I just listened to it you have to do it again I think there will be a request for a do-over if you don't well first off uh for the record Jason Tatum is jersey number zero and I'd be proud to be a number zero because he's a top 10 NBA player yeah I didn't know that and uh second that's you just do multiple takes and then however bad of a job you did is how hard you have to apologize to nick or whoever's editing it at the end of the video that's how i do it i just go geez

i'm really sorry about this one good luck and i just it was especially bad when i first started doing ads it would take me like 45 minutes to do an ad it's because i just delete them yeah and then i'd start over especially if you get in if you i don't know if you do this thing but if i do it like mostly right the first time i'm okay but if i stumble over it if you i don't know if you do this thing but if i do it like mostly right the first time i'm okay but if i stumble over something and then i stumble over that same thing again i'll fuck it up 86 times before i hear it right but andrew say you nail the first half and you flub it you just flub lord the second half why wouldn't you just go to where up until where you were nailing it make a cut there and just go from there because then nick would have to make a cut and correct why don't you make the cut i don't

know how we just stop recording go back find out where you where you nailed it oh and then i wait so you're saying instead of scrolling all the way to the beginning and deleting it just scroll to where the flub was and then delete that part. Right, that's what you just described as editing. It's harder when you do the ad, because I do ads on my channels and I do them on camera most of the time, so I often do have to go on a nice run.

Unless I'm hiding with B-roll. But yours is audio. These are the kind of efficiencies we're gonna need to be working on in the coming months as we transition to the we need like we need like a we need like a training camp and a combine to like really get this we need one of those on the we need one of those rnc we need to go to west virginia for the weekend like the rnc and have a have a fucking uh powwow or whatever you want to be like the rnc well that's what they always do

they always have there's like no i don't want to... I was making a joke. I'm just saying, you're the one that said it. I like it. I just read it in the news right now. They're having trouble because dickhead Mike Johnson can't get anybody to go with him

to fucking West Virginia because A, all the dumbass Republican senators in Congress, people hate each other because they all suck. And then B, nobody wants to go on vacation

together to West Virginia. I just was using it as an example. I'm excited to be hands-on with you guys going forward and learning all the things that I'm doing wrong in my day-to-day. Advancing my process. Because it is... Me too, actually.

I don't think that's something to be learned. No, I just learned it, so I disagree. I don't know how else to describe what I... You just told me something I never thought of. I've learned a new thing I can do. I've never done that. It would have never occurred to me. I don't know.

I just, I really need to just spend the day with you and watch your life. I wonder how many inefficiencies there are between you just going to the grocery store. Do you know about bags? Yeah. Bags are great. I love bags.

That's how they get their milk. Um, it's not, it's not a thing that happens where i live um i had an unbelievably dumb moment one of the the more embarrassing ones i've had in recent in a recent time where for some reason my brain is trained that if if somebody has to do a thing then i have to follow the same rules that they are currently following. So my partner has had a really sore throat for the past few days and can't talk.

And we like to play connections at the end of the day. It's like a group game that we do. I don't know. Are you familiar with connections? How's it one? Yeah, I play. It's a it's a New York Times game where you get sent a list of, like, it's four rows and there's four words per row,

and four of those words are connected in some way, and you need to try to figure out what the common thread is between each section of four. So you're trying to group them, essentially. You should, by the way, be transferring all four words every day onto your list of things. That would be, once again, you are changing my life today, Gavin. New York Times gives you 16 examples a day.

So we're playing and my partner can't talk and I'm looking at it, which is, you know, typically we're like, ah, I think this might be this, this might be that. And it was, I want to say the four words were frisbee, bone, tennis ball, like kong toy and I went oh those are all shit yeah I was like oh that's all dog stuff but I my brain decided that because they can't speak I'm also not allowed to speak so I I highlighted I clicked all four and I showed them the screen and I, I, I swear to God,

I bent both my hands. So it looked like pause and I went, woof, woof. And they, they lost it. And they said, what are you doing? You can just say dog. You can speak. You can talk. I was so locked in my head that handicaps yeah i was like they

can't talk i can't talk how am i gonna convey this i'll bark like a dog did get they got the point across though i did it i conveyed it very well but i set them back probably because of the laughing of how dumb i was in that moment. And I think that they mainly just said, I wish people could see this and that it's not just on the show. This is just you. You truly are living with so many skulls on. Yeah. I don't know why. I don't know why.

I don't know why it keeps happening. Andrews lives so. Yeah, it's just Andrew all skulls on his ass though. I am ass though. An absolute ass though, for sure. I

had an interesting brain thing the other day. It's funny you mentioned that. I don't think this is an embarrassing or stupid thing like you, but I wanted to bring it up because I wanted to see if you guys have ever experienced anything like this. I've been, you know, it's no secret I've been looking at houses

in Michigan forever. Not making any concrete plans right now or anything, but I'm always just like looking. It's become kind of like my Kate Middleton obsession. It's a good way to pass time idle time looking at whatever houses are for sale and i was just trying to think about like a house that i like a kind of house that i would like and i was uh i was trying to explain it or i was trying to i was trying to search it and i was trying to think of uh like key keywords for the this kind of house that i wanted and it had this like wraparound porch and i was trying to remember i was like oh there kind of house that I wanted. And it had this like wraparound porch.

And I was trying to remember. I was like, oh, there's this house I remember seeing once. And it had this porch. I really remember liking it. And it was in the yard. And I can remember where the car was in the yard. But I was having trouble seeing part of the house. I don't remember what it was like, the upstairs or something in my head.

And then I was thinking about it. And I was like, where the fuck was that house house how long ago was it that i saw it and i realized it was a house i read about in a book and i've never seen the house but i guess i am i liked it so much when i read the book it left such a distinct impression that my brain remembers it as a house i've seen in a real house and i can remember the yard and the outside of the house and like, like about three quarters of it. I just can't remember certain parts of it because I guess nothing happened in that part of the book. But I've been thinking about this house from time to time. I realized for a couple of years in the back of my head, like it's a thing

I've actually seen. And I remember it as a place I've seen or been to, but I never have. I just invented it out of reading it in a book. Have you ever done that where you remember something and then realize that the thing you're remembering isn't something that you, isn't something real. It's something that you envisioned yourself. I've had it in dreams, but not books. Yeah. It was such a weird feeling because I could almost remember being there.

And I just have never thought about that before. Or it's never come up before where I remembered something from a book as if it was something that I had actually seen. Were you disappointed when you realized? Yeah, a little bit. I was confused. It took me a while to figure it out.

Like, I was like, how can I remember this so well? And then I was like, oh, I remember the book really well too. And then I went back and I was like, oh yeah, it was the fucking... I read the passage. It's a fucking book. It's just fucking I read the passage it's a fucking book

it's just a fucking book it's just a fucking book where a private detective uh helped a lady get off drugs and hit her from uh somebody who's trying to kill her oh yeah Kate Middleton maybe I guess that depends on how honest Gavin wants to be with us

I posted uh my cancelled ad in our slack so. I can't tell you anything right now. I posted my canceled ad in our Slack. So that I don't know if we want to throw that into the post credit. I don't know. Can we also put in Jeff's devil may cry ad? I guess so. It's around here somewhere. At least we can link to it in the description.

Also, we were making fun of you, Gavin, earlier for not responding to any of this via text. And I sent you one of the better photos. That's not how I remember that conversation at all. When was this? We were doing our Let's Play earlier today. We were playing wrestling. Oh, I wasn't there. Yeah, you weren't there. And we

were all talking about how you don't respond to us in text anymore. And we decided, are you busy or you just don't like us? I sent you one of the better photos i've ever sent you in my life and nothing just crickets did you yeah dude i see a picture and i just said self-care it was me doing a face mask oh oh so i've been uh i've been ain't sleeping good and I see a lot of these at like the middle of the night and then when the notification's gone the next day I don't ever think to go back in. And it was phenomenal.

That's fair. That's fair. I figured you're also busy with South by probably. No, not at all. Not done a single thing for it. I mean, that seemed like an easy out where you could have gone. Yeah, man. Why would I lie? Why would I lie?

Why would I lie about it? I don't know. It just seemed like a great way to put a button on the conversation where he wouldn't keep bothering you. What about this for a button? I've got a clip. We have, but we're so over time. Oh, my God. Fine.

Are we over time? I mean, you never told us to stop. All right, hold on. I've written the time time? You never told us to stop. Alright, hold on. We should start wrapping up. 3.59pm. Alright, here we go. Go with the clip. It may be a unique way, but I'm curious if anyone else does this. Oh no. So I was cleaning. I cleaned my bathroom

recently, and I have this little wooden, like, trash type thing. Andrew said trash. Oh. Oh, no. Oh, no. It's weird.

He doesn't seem so upset about that. I don't remember what happened if I did that. What happened? You're not allowed to ever say trash again. Well, you have to say rubbish, or I think you eat a pencil or something. Oh, yeah, okay. Sure.

Throw another one on. What was it? Why not? We need to face the story. And yeah, you're only allowed to say rubbish, buddy. I'm aware of that. If we ever office together post whatever happens, we need a whiteboard full of current rules. We do.

Yeah, that's good. Can we make sure Jeff writes them out and he starts really, really, really big at the top and they get so fucking small and illegible at the bottom? We need like flow charts. Like did Andrew say trash or rubbish? Yes, no. And then lines.

And then we need to see what's in the new bubbles. You know what I will say? Speaking about a new office, if we were ever to get one, I bet we could build a whole room out of those clocks. Yeah, send me the clocks. I'll make a room for them.

Give me a thousand clocks. A second home. We could easily make a little cubicle, like the clock room. Yeah. We could just make a podcast set. That's perfect. In my studio,

we'll make a podcast set entirely of clocks it'll look just like the break shit or the break show set but made of clocks the second little pig built their home entirely out of clocks as the wolf huffed and puffed although if i have to change all those freaking batteries at 3am i'm gonna be really that was actually the funniest part to me about the thousand one and One Clocks is batteries not included You're gonna have to pay like $700 Worth of batteries Just powering

That joke is gonna be a nightmare How loud is a Thousand and One Clocks Ticking at once? I bet it's gonna sound Are we gonna wanna Record an audio podcast With three walls of ticking aimed directly at us? I really want to make this happen now.

We should bring, you know what we could do? We could create this room and then we could set up a deal with police departments for bomb squads where they bring in their bomb bring in their their bomb technicians and they have them practice like diffusing bombs in high pressure situations because the ticking will never stop and it'll get them used to it they can hear it and then they'll be able to tune it out better when they're on this

you know when they're at a bank and they really got to do it for real every every podcast will sound like the interstellar soundtrack yeah send me all this shit Andrew will sound like the interstellar soundtrack. Yeah, send me all this shit, Andrew. Is it local? No. Why is it stored?

I just looked at the store. We don't have any. There are no more clocks available. We have three items. I mean, they're all still sat somewhere. We can get them. Let's get them. Let's get them.

Right, but we might have a bunch of sloppy Joe's jerseys and hats and foam fingers and cookbooks if you guys don't buy them on the 29th at 10am. Okay. I'm just saying. Didn't need the time machine

for that one. No, no. No, I'm in current time, so I could just kind of drop in wherever I needed to on that one, yeah. Okay. Cool. I have a clip of Eric. Oh, shit.

We have to go. We gotta see the clip. This has to wrap up. Yeah, we gotta get the clip. We'll get the clip in a minute. Nick has the clip. It was back when, remember we recorded an episode

and Eric and Nick had to be in the same space in the office together to do it oh yeah and it was it was just eric and i at the very end and nick immediately left and i guess nick is the one who set up the thing and uh eric was like eric it was eric and i talking then eric said i need i don't nick left i don't know how to i don't know how to set up this thing or end this thing. I don't, hmm.

I'll talk to you later, man. Bye. And I said bye and then I immediately pulled Craig in and you don't, you don't get all of it but like there's silence

for a minute and then I could just hear in the distance Eric go, what the fuck? Where the fuck, where the fuck is this? The fuck? Nick just didn't hang the fuck is this? The fuck?

Nick, how do I stop this? All in left like so. My brain immediately went. I bet you he does something funny in the background. Like it is just going to be him annoyed. And then you instantly did it. And I got Craig. And so I missed maybe part of it.

But there's definitely some audio of you just going the fuck. Where's Discord? where is this just you being confused and annoyed by in a room by yourself because nick has abandoned you we keep nick as the most valuable member of this team because all the rest of us just refuse to learn a couple of simple things about the process. Yep. Absolutely. Phew! Alright, so are we putting that clip at the end of this? I don't know. We got a lot of clips already at the end of it. I don't know if we have room. Do we have room for that clip? No, I don't think we have any

room. And that's the end of 199 of F*** Face. We're going to have to time machine it in then. We'll see you next time. What happens on 200? Nothing special because we already talked about that. So we'll see you next time. What happens on 200? Nothing special because we already talked about that. So we'll see you next time. Bye.

We're not stopping. No, why? We have to stop. No, the podcast. We have to stop today. Just remind me. No, we have to stop today. I don't want to stop the whole thing.

Yeah, but we're not stopping ever. We're going forever. We're going to go until somebody dies in podcast, on camera. What? In all seriousness, the company is ending. It is coming to an end. Okay, bye. Bye.

I don't even give a shit if you rate and review us anymore. Just thanks. Hey, guys. Major League Fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face. Wouldn't you know it, the gang hasn't recorded yet, so here's some more predictions. It's time to record episode 16. Albert pooped on

something he shouldn't have. Gavin has a new kitten. Andrew has six dogs that we never knew about. Nick already wore the mask. Whoops, they forgot to record. And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face. You know what I hate?

Smelling like a zero. Also smelling bad in general. I mean, those are both not ideal things. It's not a hobby of mine to smell bad. And this isn't a rare case in which being a zero is a positive thing. Like maybe if you're a golfer as well, actually, I think you want to be minus in golf. I think zero is not the best. I think you actually want to be reversed. This isn't even a good example. Maybe debt owing is a positive zero, but the point is zero is a bad thing 99.9% of the time. And thankfully, you don't have to worry about smelling like a zero

because Mando is here to keep you covered, keep you safe. In a clinical study, men who showered with soap and used Mando whole-bodied deodorant in their pits had an odor score of zero out of 10 after 12 hours. No odor. Men who showered with soap alone had an armpit odor score of eight of 10 after 12 hours. Big odor.

You don't want that. Big odor is bad. No odor is good. Introducing Mando from the makers of lumi deodorant mando is clinically proven to control odor for 72 hours wherever you stink pits package feet and beyond it's got you covered make the switch to mando whole body deodorant and smell like a zero every day so now this is a positive thing is a zero i actually should have read the copy of this ad. I thought they meant zero as in the sense of you stink. You're a loser. But we disregard

everything I said in the beginning about the zero and not wanting that. This is I had this all backwards. This is a good scenario in which you will smell like a zero.