Regulation Podcast - Figuring Out What Andrew Doesn't Know // Into the ZimmerZone [37]

Episode Date: February 10, 2021

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about Geoff's big accomplishment, the best videos before or after an event, XXX every Tuesday 50 cents, and more. Sponsored by ExpressVPN ( http://expressvpn.com/face) and Honey (http://joinhoney.com/face) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

and exactly on time like always hello and welcome to another episode of face i believe this is episode 37 my name is jeff ramsey and with me as always gavin free and andrew pantin how's it going guys i'm very confused you've done this bit already i'm just showing up on time and starting the show it's not a bit the start of the show is not a bit andrew oh did you already do some again no i just started i turned on and started the show i did the intro we always forget to do the intro or we argue about the intro so i thought i'd just get out of the way early andrew what's he doing i don, I feel like he's doing the thing where he was trying to be late on time, but he was early

for his late on time. I feel like we've done this. No, I'm not doing that at all. I showed up on time, as always, and started the show with the intro. I literally began the podcast the way one begins a podcast at the prescribed time. It was textbook

podcast starting. You did a great job i would just say you started before gavin got here that'd be my only yeah but i knew i had faith he was going to show up and that if he hadn't if he didn't we could cover because we know we're professionals we can vamp and sure enough i saw him pop in before i finished my sentence so i joined at three which was about one minute ago and i joined joined and all I heard was Jeff say, I'm Jeff and with me Gavin, and I said hello. I couldn't have been more on time, I don't think. It was perfect, Gavin.

You were on time. I mean, I wasn't recording. I missed the first part. Why do you never record? How are people who haven't shown up yet always recording before you? Because I wait for everybody to show up jeff just joined and started the show immediately i wasn't ready i always start recording before i joined so do i ready to go from second one yeah the problem is i show up like 15 minutes right but once again that's your fault and it's pointless and you were just sitting there in the discord for 15 minutes twiddling your dick with eric at any point you could have in that countdown you could have hit record yeah well like you see that 259 showing up you could do it then that's

fair i don't know jeff last week was the last week or two weeks ago you're like i have a story i want to tell before we start and you teased it i probably started at 259 and 45 seconds and joined on three that was last week i I believe, Andrew, and I told that story. No, I mean, I wasn't there for it the first time because I knocked over my computers and spilled water everywhere. So I missed it because I kept plugging my headphone jack

into my microphone jack. So, I'm smart. Right. Oh, by the way, I went back and listened to, um, because we had some confusion over you just randomly starting the burger bet so i re-listened to your previous discussion about how you were just going to start whenever you had confidence and uh yeah i do remember that now yeah i just yeah for some reason erased that from like from my last remember it now or did you i i kind of

vaguely remembered it but after i heard it it was crystal clear andrew and yeah well i mean i had to ask you about it first of all and second of all i don't think you can claim you remembered something that you had to listen to to learn you didn't you just didn't hear it um i mean it was definitely forgotten but as soon as the customers i was hearing your words i was like i do remember him saying this yeah just jogged his memory. Fair enough. I deleted it. Can we talk about a big accomplishment in Jeff's life? Jeff had a big thing happen to him. I'm very excited about this.

I don't know if you saw it, Gavin. No, I don't know what you're talking about. Are you serious, Gavin? You don't know? No. Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to upload a photo. I prepared this. It's funny you mentioned that, Andrew,

because I probably would have fucking forgot about it even after I prepped this. Okay. I did, Gavin. There was something I tweeted about it just the other day. It was kind of a big milestone in my life. I'm really not sure how my life changes going forward given this.

But let me pop this sucker in and then try to explain it. You struggling to get it in? Nothing takes longer on this podcast than waiting for it. No, than emailing a photo to yourself and then posting it. What you have there, Gavin, and for the audience, we'll post this at some point. Uh, what you have there, Gavin, and for the audience, we'll post this at some point. That is approximately, I'd say. 15 to 45 seconds after I picked up the right sock for the right foot.

How did that happen? Did you do you have a new system? No, no, no, no, no, i i let me set the stage saturday morning just going about my day i think it was saturday i'll have to go back and check the tweet uh anyway one morning just going about my day took a shower everything's fine uh sit down on the sofa to put my socks and shoes on that you make fun of because i'm old and uh like I do every day, like I've done millions of times, I picked up the left sock to put it on the right foot, but it wasn't the left sock.

It was the right sock. I would put money on this not being the first time this has happened. I think this is the first time you've noticed. First time it's happened. I think you've put the correct sock on the correct foot hundreds of times, but because it's a totally normal event, it doesn't register. And then the next time it's the wrong one,

you're like, it's again, it's the wrong one. I can understand how you would need to believe that to make your world make sense, but that's not what's going on here. I'm telling you, it's a matrix style simulation.

I've, I've pretty much got it dialed in. However, there was a glitch or I did something. I don't know what I did differently. But in that moment, I had prescience and I saw it and I realized it and I put the correct sock on and I knew I was doing it at the time. And I'll say this, it hasn't happened again since.

I've made a note of it every morning. So far, it was a one-time incident. So what I've been trying to do is dissect everything in my life that led up to that to see what i did differently here's the problem every day of my life i'm imagining every day of my life is identical to the previous day so i don't know i'm imagining neo walking past that doorway and seeing the cat but it happened 750 times back to back at that point it's not deja vu it's just the norm if, you're not in a simulation. No, I'm telling you I am.

And that's the reboot moment. But however, yeah. So I don't know. It was a fucking, it was amazing. It was liberating. I felt young again. I felt like I was flying. I felt like I was free.

I felt like the world was full of possibility. I felt like I could touch the moon if I wanted to until I put my socks on again and then it went back to normal. I'll be honest. I think if there's any proof that we're not in a simulation, it's Andrew Panton himself. There's no way a computer could come up with that. I don't know what you're talking about. Andrew's like

the bits left over after a defrag that just pile up and they turn sentient. He's the frag? Andrew's the fragment. I'm really happy, Jeff, that this event happened in your life that is absolutely uh random unexplainable and it's just a good thing that happened to you and was no way set up or predetermined anyway really happy for you glad you had this thank you for that thank you for that andrew and let me say that uh you know the last time we talked there were some suggestions by audience members and and i was going to try some of those and i didn't even get thank you for that, Andrew. And let me say that, you know, the last time we talked, there were some suggestions

by audience members and I was going to try some of those and I didn't even get around to it. And I'll be honest with you. Now, I don't care. I'll do it wrong.

It's fine. I had it right once. It's like, I, I, I touched the sun for one brief second. I reached Shangri-La.

I, I, I tasted ambrosia. I i know i know what the top of the mountain looks like i've i've breathed that air and i don't ever have to breathe it again that's fine i know i will hold on to that memory that brief fleeting day for the rest of my life and uh and that's enough to sustain me so uh i'm gonna consider uh this chapter unless something weird happens i'm gonna consider this chapter of my life closed, and I'm just going to go back to the way things were,

and anytime I get frustrated, I'll just look at that picture. You're just going to go back to not noticing? Because you certainly have put the right sock and the right foot countless times before this, like you haven't said. Nope. I mean, yeah, before it started to become a thing.

Before you bought left and right socks and made your life overly complicated. Back when I just had straight ass tube socks sure i do what i appreciate about this photo and i was going to bring this up but this is this is a perfect discussion into this i think jeff might be the worst picture taker of all time just absolutely horrendous at it like look at this photo specifically it tells you nothing about his left sock thing it's a foot in a shoe you can't even see no the r or the l you can't see the l or r you can't tell what foot it is it's a completely useless photo it means nothing and jeff sends me jeff go ahead what are you gonna do no i'm good I'm agree with you like I feel like every time he puts a picture in the group text oh it's

it's a blurry piece of shit and it'll be followed up by a second one there's actually like the actual thing he wanted I have a continue with your bit I have a bit no it's not a bit Jeff sends me basketball cards pretty regularly that he's gotten and they're the worst photos I've ever seen

none of them are centered I'm gonna send some of these here's the first one we got one to the left That's just that's like 80% of them. That's how they come in recently. I got one that was upside down I'm trying to figure out what these cards are we got another one to the left the most recent not the most recent This is the second the most recent i thought it couldn't get worse than this this is when he sent me when he's like i got new cards look at these cards clearly just his finger in front of the lens there there have been countless times too back in like maybe over the last eight years where i'm like jeff jeff take my phone record this we'll

do something amazing we'll do something that was like one of a kind funny and at the end of it jeff will hit record and i realized that he's actually not been filming the entire time i'd also like to point out jeff was a photographer yeah i was gonna say yeah i'll get to that yeah of course there's a point of that i got one more gavin look because when you look at that photo you think how could it get worse than this how could you get a more useless photo of what the cards are this is his most recent one he sent me it's the fucking package they were shipped i still don't know what the cards look like there's zero value and take that picture like what am i supposed to do with that

are you trying to like set up some tension like oh what's it gonna be he's done that i've gotten a text you want to see something cool and then i'll see it way too late i gotta wait a whole fucking day to find out what the cool thing is and it's cards which is fine it's just gonna get earlier and earlier the next one the next time it happens it's gonna be a picture of the mailman and then it'll be a picture of the the front door before anyone shows up. I thought it was a bit. I scrolled through all of the photos he sent me for cards. They're all sideways. Not a single one.

What's the next one? Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Here's the deal. The first three are definitely not a bit. The fourth one was not a bit. I just wasn't paying attention. The fifth one was a setup. I thought it would be funny to send him that because he's getting mad. I just wasn't paying attention. The fifth one was a setup.

I thought it would be funny to send him that because he's getting mad. Like every time I send him a photo and it's usually because I'm, well, I'll get to that. But every time I send him a photo, he just responds with, is this a bit? And then I go, what?

And then I have to go back and look at the photo and go, oh, I see. It's upside down. Oh, I guess my thumb was over the fucking camera. Whatever. So I thought it would be funny this next this last one just to send him a picture of the mail with the cards poking out of the top and then immediately i was gonna when he responded i was gonna follow up with the actual

photos but he didn't respond and i got i lost interest and moved on so he just got what's the red one how is that because you said that one was real. It was like my thumb. Yeah. Yeah, I guess I... What's impressive, though, is you have to take the photo, you have to then click the photo, click it again,

and then hit submit. There's so many ways. No, no, no. Like, if you're in the text window and you just hit the take photo button, and then you just snap it, it uploads it, and you're not paying attention.

If you're talking to your girlfriend or your daughter or the dog's barking or you're trying to figure out who's not ringing the doorbell, you accidentally upload a fucking photo of your thumb. But you have to still send it. You still see what you're about to send.

Yeah, if you're paying attention. I'm doing a lot of things at once. He's cutting two nails. He's very occupied. None of those things happen. Those are all different days. Every one of those photos is a different day. And Eric asked if this all happened at once, but every one of those photos is from all different days. Every one of those photos is a different day. Oh. And Eric asked if this all happened at once,

but every one of those photos is from a different conversation. No, this is like every four days I get one of those. Oh, shit. It's great. That's amazing. Yeah.

This is a very visual episode this week. It is. I have a whole thing I want to do, too. This is what we have an Instagram for, isn't it? Exactly. Yeah, yeah. We're definitely going to be leaning into the Instagram today.

Oh, boy. Yeah. So here's the deal. I was a professional photographer for five years. I'm a photojournalist. And I am of the opinion that either you do something as well as possible or not at all. Since I have to take, send, communicate via photo,, I'm not going to treat it like I'm a professional photographer anymore, which I know how to do. Instead, I'm just going to put the least amount

of effort into this thing as possible. And so that's what I do with photography now. I went the other way. Yeah, but I feel like I know how to take a good photo. I know how to take a good photo. I went to school for it. I got paid to do it. I was a professional at it for five years. So now I feel like I'm allowed to take a bad photo. It's like when a billionaire wears cargo shorts and flip flops. But there's a large range that you're not considering. There is professional photographer. Then there's human.

And then there's what you're taking. You're way below the human bar. These are horrendous photos. I'll be honest. I gave Millie my camera and she took a better picture of me when she was five than some of the ones that showed up here. Well, because I'm not trying to take a good photo. No, I'm trying to communicate information. They're so bad, I feel like you're putting

effort in to make them as bad as they are. I feel like you're putting in twice as much work. I don't put effort into anything. You put effort into this. No, I'm not trying, Eric asked if I was trying to take a bad photo. No. In the fifth photo, the one of Eric asked if I was trying to take a bad photo. No. In the fifth photo, the one of the male,

I was trying to take a funny photo, but the rest, I was just... By the way, I think Andrew's blowing it a little out of proportion. Big deal the cards are sideways. You can still fucking see what they are. It's just a huge annoyance. It's not a complicated mathematical equation.

No, it's an annoyance. You can still see Marcus Smart, Taco Fall, Marcus Smart. Yeah, but I'm trying to look at the details of the card. I'm trying to be excited about what you got, and I have to turn my head. Just send a proper photo. I wouldn't want you to have to put any effort into it. No, just put a little effort into your photo.

Just a minimal amount. Why are you making me do the effort? I can't turn my head. That's fair. I can't promise that my photography will get any better. I don't expect it to like unless unless i was getting paid to do it that wasn't the goal of this conversation was to get you to take better photos i just it was horrendous i had to bring it up the worst photo taker i've ever seen i'd be honest i didn't think that this was content i'm surprised you mentioned it oh it's

horrendous it's hilarious i really thought it was a bit and i'm glad to hear the last one was part of the bit but scrolling through it was alarming to realize how long you've been doing this without me saying anything or really registering that every single one is sideways. Yeah. I'm not even sure. Can I be honest with you? Yeah.

I don't know why they're sideways. I don't know how I took a sideways photo. I held the camera right. Clearly not. I didn't hold the camera upside down. So why is the fucking photo upside down? There was a video we made where Jeremy was covered in powder paint. And I was brushing it off him.

I was like, oh man, it's all over your back. But what he didn't know is that I had the bottle of powder paint. And as I was brushing it off, I was just squirting more on. And Jeff was filming it. But he ended up laughing so hard that he fell over and stopped the video. And it went on for like 90 seconds longer than we put in the video. And Jeff was just rolling around on the floor crying, not filming it. I one time got to go, probably the most embarrassing.

Because I didn't care about that because we had other coverage. But I one time... No, we didn't. That's the time we did it we had the coverage up to it right that was the video uh i uh i one time got to go to a special i got to go to a special uh action bronson show gavin and i were both fans action bronson and i got to get up close and i got to high five him and i just felt bad that gavin didn't go he wasn't i wasn't able to get him in so I got to high five him. And I just felt bad that Gavin didn't go. He wasn't, I wasn't able to get him in. So I got, I took a whole video of him singing a song and then me running up and high

fiving him and he high fives me. And it's really cool. Except I missed the high five. And he looked at me like I was a fucking dumb ass. Like, are you serious? Did you just miss a fucking high five? And of course I missed it because I was holding the phone and filming it

while I was high fiving it. And I must've looked as dumb as it sounds. Anyway, he was like instantly lost any respect he probably never had for me to begin with because I'm just some asshole. And he turned around and walked off, and I thought, well, I just ruined it with Action Bronson. And then I hit stop, and then I went to send it to Gavin and realized that I'd never hit record, but I did hit record right after Action Bronson missed the high-five. And I literally have a video of me going oh man

Jeff has the best videos that occur before or after a really funny event he has the best collection of those without fail and it's not like it's a you know once in a while that happens it's most it's the most times you try and video something i got i got bad iphone luck at a certain point it's not luck put it in with your foot luck yes god damn gav uh you said you wanted to play a game today you have a game for us i don't know if it'll be any good i've done a little bit of a information gathering because you know we were trying to find out what andrew doesn't know but he doesn't know what he doesn't know so i was trying to find lists of things that are actually quite obvious, but some sometimes people don't know how big is this list? What are we talking about? It's loads. It's loads, but I'll do it. I'll do a few. I'll see how it goes. Okay

We'll start with M&Ms right? Why is the rapper M&M called M&M? I've no idea. Do people know this? I don't feel like this would be a thing That's commonly not oh Wait is the rapper wait. Sorry. What was the this? I don't feel like this would be a thing that's commonly known. Oh, wait. Is the rapper? Wait, sorry. What was the question? I think I misinterpreted this question. Can we roll this back? What was the question? Eminem, the guy. Yeah.

Why is he called Eminem? It's his initials. Actually, I had this realization and I told Jeff about it. I was so excited. Overlinking. It's true. It's true. I've talked to Jeff about this. He just, like it was like nobody else had ever thought of this. No, I was very excited about it. I was so excited. It's true. I've talked to Jeff about this. It was like nobody else had ever thought of this. No, I was very excited about it. I thought you meant, like, why are

M&M's called M&M's? I did too. Oh, sorry. Did I phrase it wrong? No, I just interpreted it like the candy rapper, not the musician M&M. When you see like first, second, and third written, where it's like 1 st two nd three rd what what are the significance of the letters uh it's it's uh the the lap is the last is it the

last two letters of the word yep that's true that was like a common uh oh i didn't know that i didn't think about that i just i didn't know that i. Can I tell you one that gets me with numbers all the time? This is really stupid. When you're on an elevator, the button below it in my head is always the floor that's below it. So if it's 22 and the button below 22 is 20 in my head, that's how the building is laid out. So you...

So wait, you could have 21... Yeah. Like elsewhere? Well, okay, so okay so here i don't remember exactly how the panel was it really fucked me up and luigi's mansion three because he's they said they said go to the floor below the floor the ghost is on the floor below the one you're on and the button was for a completely different number it was like two floors down or three floors But I just clicked the next button down the button the floor screws me up. That's weird I think the button that's not on my list the button The button below the floor you're on should always be for the next floor down. It's just my policy

I don't care how large that It just makes Alright, why is it called a donut uh donut donut am i focusing on the nut here do i focus on the dough what is a dough is a deer i don't think that has to do with donut donut do do not donut donut i don't know I don't know this one. I can't figure this out. Out, Gavin. What is it?

So, like a nut from Nuts and Bolts. That's stupid. It's a dough one. That's stupid. That's a dumb one. All right. Why is it called a club sandwich? It's made in a club.

It's part of a club? Was it a club secret? What is in a club sandwich? Turkey. That's true. There's variants, isn't there? There's like a a club. It was part of a club? Was it a club secret? Club sand- What is in a club sandwich? Turkey. That's true. There's variants, isn't there? There's like a turkey club. Tomato.

A meatball sub. A club. Is there a meatball club? Meatball sub club? I'm just trying to figure this out. There's a fucking subway here, dude. Yeah, no. I don't know.

Why is the club sandwich called the club sandwich? It's an acronym, apparently, for chicken and lettuce under bacon. Well, I feel like I was greatly misguided by Jeff's suggestion of turkey. the club sandwich uh it's an acronym apparently for chicken and lettuce under bacon well if you i feel like i was greatly misguided by jeff's suggestion of turkey club sandwich does that really that's interesting that was that's just is that right is that right what do you mean is that right you're the guy conducting this yeah that's that's what google says is right okay all right what uh what is what's 24 7 24 7 like if7. Like if it's... 24-7. Okay, seven days a week, right?

I got the seven day. Yeah. What's 24? 24 hours in a day. 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Fucking got it. Yeah, apparently a lot of people didn't know that if you're open 24-7, it just means you're open all the time.

Yeah. I gotta say, if anything, this is making me look great at riddles. I'm figuring these out on the fly. I haven't put thought into these. I'm deciphering these left and right i feel pretty confident what does sitcom mean oh fuck sitcom it's uh you uh is the calm comedy and the sit literally sit because people would sit and watch people used to watch jesus christ. Sitcoms, because you would sit... Sitcoms used to be filmed live, so they'd have people come and they'd sit

and they'd watch the comedy. You're taking this way too literally. A sitcom. It's a sit-down comedy. It's a sit-down comedy. It's an abbreviation of both. Sitcom. I'm thinking of all the sitcoms.

Sitcom. I don't know know i don't know this one i don't feel like most people know this one is this situational comedy i think most people know no i don't think i don't think anyone refers to it as a situational comedy what does that even mean it means that the comedy is the show is about a funny situation in these people's lives like a funny setup scenario technically isn't every moment a situation isn't every you're a hundred percent correct you've just you just cracked the code that's the for like that seems like a weird qualifier I technically everything's a situation what is a pony it's a horse of some kind it's a horse I believe yeah I think the misconception on that one is a lot of people think it's a baby horse,

but it's actually just a different type entirely. Yeah, I didn't know that. Also, don't really care about that one. I just don't think that's all that matters. That's fair. Why did Apple call their computer the Macintosh? Because it's the name of an apple. I don't fuck around with apples.

I love apples. You're right on that one. Yeah, of course I am. Apple pie, best pie best pastry best dessert i'll die on that hill i think it's the best pie i know it's the cliched answer love the apple pie it's a staple all right do one more uh what's the cam quarter camcorder it's a camera recorder yes yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I'm fucking pretty well. No, I'm so bad Those are apparently just a list of things that are to most people very obvious But a lot of people just it passes them by I think that's what that list is My issue isn't that I can't figure these things out. It's that I put no thought into these things

That's my problem most of the time like I didn't know any of those going into them At least I didn't think I did much like the burger thing you didn't know any of those no not really no 24 7 i think i knew but outside of that i was figuring it out as we went because it just was logical i put a little thought into it what about y2k y2k oh boy i should know this y2k oh come on y2 Oh, come on! Y2K. That's a confusing one because I know what it was for. No, it's not! What's the context around it? Where have you heard that? It's the year 2000.

All the computers were going to die. I've watched a Leonard Nimoy safety special on how to prepare for Y2K. I don't know if they went into... What does it stand for? Are you you okay jeff why don't you take another photo of your left sock while i figure this out why 2k why is it why is the is the why literally the why note spelled is a y but that just feels lazy 2k is like a distance. I would feel like if I was going 2k is a distance. Yeah. Yeah, why is it? Why is it? What was the equipment? Okay in a distance? What's 2k? I Don't understand that question

Like why in terms of distance? How does 2k make sense in distance? Oh, it's a measurement K is a measurement. Kilometers. Two kilometers. Expand on it. I don't know what that means. What do you mean? You have all the ingredients. Make the cake, Andrew. You said the fucking answer. What does that mean? Why

two kilometers? That can't be right. It's about computers. Is it not about computers? You don't know the spell with a K, you genius! No, it's not. What do you mean? Oh. Oh.

Well, no, but the thing is, no, like, I know computers are spelled with a K. That's obvious. That's very good at spelling. I don't know. Why is Y2K Y2K? Explain it to me, and then I'll realize. The kilo in any measurement, kilometers, kilograms, what does the kilobit mean? Oh, it's the computer thing.

It's the computer thing, right? The kilobit. Kilobit? What? It's like the megabit. You're talking about kilobytes? Yeah. Just tell them, man.

Yeah. Oh. It just means thousand. K just means thousand Oh why year two to K thousand you said it you know what is why to K me oh the Y is year yeah like if I give you 5k you'd get $5,000 surely that is a lot more effort than just saying $2,000. That is a lot of unnecessary code and an extra letter. Just say $2,000. Why are we saying Y2K?

Why do we need a fancy abbreviation? You know what I did on Y2K? I remember this specifically. Great, great New Year's Eve. Wasn't worried about the world ending at all. I rented the XXX movie with Vin Diesel. I was very excited about having some cherry coke there was a huge mis so i was so excited for the triple x

vin diesel action movie as a kid and uh i i'd drive with my dad and when we'd like leave town there was a porno theater on like the outskirts of town and they had this sign that said triple x every tuesday 50 cents and i thought that that was the Vin Diesel movie. So every time we drive by, I'd excitedly be like, we got one of these Tuesdays. We got to go. It's 50 cents.

I don't know how money works. I'm a kid, but that seems like a hell of a deal. And it doesn't come out for like eight months. So I don't know how they got it. And they're screening it every Tuesday. So it has to be awesome there's no way you screen a bad movie every tuesday we gotta go and that was just months of my life and then 2000 happened it was new year's got cherry coke ran in the movie very excited

enjoyed it had a great time i love that movie that's such a dumb great movie that's such a great y2 computer story. Yeah. I think that was quite a little fun game. I enjoyed that. That was a great game, Gavin. Thanks for playing that. Wherever you're going, you better believe American Express will be right there with you. Heading for adventure? We'll help you breeze through security.

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Visit amex.ca slash y amex.ca benefits vary by card terms apply you know what I actually I have something too that I want to bring up a little something new I'm very excited about this I hope you guys don't mind me doing this

but I thought it would be a lot of fun to go on a visual journey this episode is what I think fun to go on a visual journey. This episode is what I think. I think a nice little visual journey. Maybe we can see, we've been talking about funny baseball cards and maybe collecting obscure cards.

So I thought I could maybe guide us through some cards I found. And I, I just think I'd love to hear your opinion on them. So let's open with this one. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Hold on. I get the bit that you're doing no I'm not doing any bit at all I just want to start with like this is a great baseball card that I found and I'd like to take you on an initial journey what you're doing is funny but you don't have the context I had a whole

tapestry woven around this fucking visual game you're ruining it no this is a great I'm having a great time on this visual journey that we're on what do you think of that card Bobby Bobby Grich Gertz second baseman how do we feel about it I wrote shit for this how do we three hours today tell you guys tell you guys, I'm gonna fucking- Okay, well, Jess met, I just don't think he likes the card. Let's talk about Jeff Reed! How do we feel about Jeff Reed?

He looks very upset. Stomach issue? I don't know. Why take that- So earlier on today, I got alert after alert on my phone, from Discord, of Jeff posting baseball card after baseball card in this Discord. And then slowly, one by one, they started disappearing. And then Jeff texts us saying, I've got a bit left for F*** Face this week. Here's how we do it.

No, no, no. I wonder what it is. You're lacking some context. This wasn't today. Jeff has been posting baseball photos since like the weekend. It has been days of baseball photos so i look here's i looked at the discord channel today and jeff deleted them all and there's a conversation the person's like why are you deleting them he said don't worry they'll

be back and then he texted gavin and hi i have a new idea for us this week we're going on a visual journey we have seen all the photos. You've posted them all. You haven't seen them all! I don't think Jeff necessarily knows how to transfer stuff from his phone to his computer, so he uses the public Discord as a way to do it. And we've seen everything.

The big mystery is why are you doing this? You're wrong! You're so stupid. You're all so stupid. Here's how it happened, okay? Dumb little idiots. here's how it happened okay okay all right dumb little idiots here's how it happened i we did the podcast last week two weeks ago in our podcast we talked about the idea of doing it everything is terrible jerry mcguire type deal where we created like a social experiment and we take something that has inherently no value and we create value, not necessarily monetary,

but it could just may be via desire of wanting to be a part of something. And we decided that it would be funny to find the most boring, mundane, least valuable sports card in the world and try to buy all of them or try to have the audience send them. And we all try to collectively collect them uh and until we own every single baseball card of of this uh particular person whoever it is right uh so we then promptly forgot to talk about it last week when we recorded and then andrew reminded me we never talked about the baseball

card thing and i went oh shit you're right we didn't and then Andrew reminded me, we never talked about the baseball card thing. And I went, oh shit, you're right. We didn't. And then I thought I should throw some up in the discord for us to talk about, throw a couple of examples up because I doubt Andrew and Gavin are going to put any effort into it. So I'll throw some fucking baseball cards up and then we can pick one from some of the ones that I find. Right. So I started throwing them up. And then today when I sat down and I started thinking about how I wanted to present it, I thought it would be funnier if I just showed them to you one at a time instead of a long list. And I had been putting them up there, Andrew's right, for days just because I'm a holder.

I wasn't trying to keep them from you. I wasn't trying to hide them. I wasn't. I was totally fine with everybody seeing them. Nobody was accusing you of that. You posted them in the public discord. Why would we think you're hiding them? Yeah, I don't know.

So I wasn't like, but I was just throwing them up there just so i would i like bookmarking them so i'd remember to go back to them if they're in the discord and i see it when we log in i can't forget to talk about it like we did this last podcast right so i was just putting them up there to remind us to talk about it and then today i thought oh i could have a little fun with this do it in a presented in a manner so i'll take them down so they're not all up at once, and then we can talk about them as I post them, and then Andrew, who is a terrible human being, did his thing.

Yeah, and so Andrew saved them, and is now just posting them himself as his own bit. No, this was my visual journey for you two. I was very excited to share it, and then Jeff had to be very aggressive about it, and I guess it's his thing, so you can go ahead and do what you want to bitch. Do you want with?

Okay, here's the first one. 1986 Donruss Bobby Gritch. Here's why I like this card. If oh, by the way, if you're listening to this podcast, this is obviously the visual part. I'm posting all of this or I'm going to have all that. I don't post on the Instagram, but I'll have all this posted on the Instagram in so you can follow along.

If you're driving right now or you're at work doing open heart surgery and your hands aren't free or whatever, then I'll explain it as we go. But I highly recommend you play along on Instagram. F*** Face Pod

is our Instagram handle. I'm trying to guess why you like this picture so much. The first one, 1996 Bobby Gritch. Here's why I like it. Bobby is A, a baseball player

I've never heard of. B, so he's a nobody, right? I mean, no offense. He's why I like it. Bobby is A, a baseball player I've never heard of. B, so he's a nobody, right? I mean, no offense. He's probably somebody to somebody. But to us, he's effectively no one. This card, it's horizontal blue lines. It's on the piss. It's skewed.

It's very, very 80s, very dated, right? That's what's nice about it. It also fits into a window. When I was looking into it, Andrew said we should try to figure out what is statistically the least valuable baseball card on earth and collect that one. So I was thinking about that and try to figure out how to do it. And here's where a lot of the research went in that Eric was making fun of me for on the discord earlier. I've been reading about print runs. It became very clear very quickly that we have to eliminate all other sports.

Baseball is the only one that prints in ridiculous numbers. Now they now they don't. But from the 80s to the mid 90s was considered the junk wax era. They were printing millions and millions of copies of every baseball player's card. Now they print like 75,000 maybe. So from like 86 to like 92, they would print sometimes three or like this Bobby Gritsch, there might be 4 million of that card out there. So I think it's got to be from this window, mid 80s to 90s. So it fits that. Also, Bobby Gritsch appears to be on

second base or on first looking to go to second or third to steal. He's squatting and it very clearly appears like he's shitting the entire state of California out of his butthole and it very clearly appears like he's shitting the entire state of California out of his butthole and it says angels on it or Like he's got a really big back dong That's hanging low coming out of his butthole like if his dick was misplaced And it was about where a sphincter would be and very large. It's like very unfortunate placement and shape I also feel his angle doesn't make sense. I don't feel like he's facing the right way for that photo I think he's on I think he's facing the right way for that photo. I think he's on.

I think he's leading off on second facing toward third base. OK, it's just a weird maybe camera angle. Yeah, I guess the camera would be. Yeah. OK, I see. So I think that that. So these are my candidates. That's the first one.

The next one. Sorry. Sorry. Before you go to the next one, I don't want to dissuade you. I don't know how into what the player has done, if you care or not. But he's definitely, Bobby Gritch was a hell of a player for the California Angels.

He was a silver slugger and a six-time all-star. So I don't know if that factors into we want a nobody or if we want a silver slugger and a six-time all-star. Look, the best thing Bobby Gritch has going for him, aside from the giant angel California dong coming out of his butthole,

is the name Gritch is a terrible name. That's another one. I'd never heard of Bobby Gritch before my time. I was a kid watching baseball in the 80s, and I'd never heard of him. Not to diminish his tremendous abilities, and obviously all of his accomplishments. Say what you will about the man,

he could take a California-shaped dump, that's for sure. I don't think Gritch is that bad. No, I also think it sounds like you Gritch, it's a funny bad name. You can't spell Gritch without Rich. Wow, that's a great point. I think that disqualifies him immediately. You can't spell Grinch without Gritch. Next one.

92 score, as Andrew mentioned. Jeff Reed, catcher for the Cincinnati Reds. For some reason, he's laying on the ground holding what appears to be his chest or his heart as if he's just been struck by a car or a shotgun blast. I was going to say, do we know he's alive? That's just the first question before we continue. He might be having a heart attack.

Someone should check on this to see if this is the last photo taken. Okay, he's alive. It's gonna be a death photo. Okay, we're good. It doesn't look like he's been shot and landed against a wall and he's about to slide down it

and leave a blood smear. They made the weird decision to turn the card sideways so it looks like he's standing against a wall but he's really just laying down on the ground clutching his chest

or heart in pain as his clogged arteries try to end his life from what I can tell. I really like this one a lot, too. But it's kind of funny. The problem with this one is I laugh every time I see it. This one and the Bobby Gritch. And I think that takes away from the mundane

aspect of it. So I got to thinking, what's less... Even these guys are doing something funny. What's even lamer than that? And I got to thinking about managers. Managers get baseball cards. They're not athletes anymore. And so I thought, I'll browse around the managers and see what I can come up with.

And then I found 1987 Topps Dave Johnson. I highly encourage you to look up this photo if you can. What you're looking at here is maybe what I would consider to be the most iconic baseball card of all time. It's the 87 Topps with the wood grain. I would imagine that most people, if you say the word baseball card to them, some form of this card is the first thing they see. It was when baseball cards hit their frenzy, right?

And what you have here is what appears to be a non-action shot dave here kind of looking off to the right uh with what appears to be a a lot of a lot of dip in his mouth he's definitely dipping skull or copenhagen and he's got a mustache and a i'm pretty sure a pop belly and what he looks like he gives the appearance of being like, like let's say you live in North Carolina and you hate your stepdad. He's probably a dick who won't let you go out and hang out with your friends until you do all of the like hours and hours of yard work. And he just keeps like spitting in the grass and talking about your mom's ass.

And every time she walks by, he slaps her and you fucking hate him. That's a picture of this guy right here. That's Dave Johnson in a heartbeat. I'm sure he's a lovely man, but that's this that's a picture of this guy right here that's dave johnson in a heartbeat i'm sure he's a lovely man but that's what can he conveys in this photo and i love it for that i also love they put this fucking black stroke around the word manager that is reminiscent of like they were ahead of their time this is bad 90s photoshop 10 years earlier eight years earlier so for those reasons i love it but i got to thinking, Dave Johnson, well, I'll keep going down.

I'll keep going down this manager rabbit hole and see what else I can find. And then I found the legend, Don Zimmer. What do you think about that? Now, here we have a photo of Cubs manager Don Zimmer staring off into the sun. His eyes are wincing because it's super bright and he's very old and he looks like, he looks like a sad, fat, old Popeye. I can hear that guy. Yeah.

I can hear exactly what he sounds like. He looks like he was made in a lab to just manage baseball. He has the perfect baseball look. He's just got the, he's got like an old man baby face. I bet he looked like that when he was born. He's definitely going to coach baseball. It's funny you say that, Gavin. I got to thinking, what other, like surely that's a bad photo of Don Zimmer, right?

Let me find another one. Here's the next one. I don't see a bad photo. He's got like a cheek full of something. And I thought, I bet Don was a handsome man, because he's got kind of a wry smile. I bet he was a handsome man when he was younger. I found his young baseball card. Turns out he looked like a serial killer.

It was piercing, scary, very dangerous eyes. He looks like if Phil Collins killed people. He looks like if Phil Collins was the Night Stalker. Right? Very unsettling. And then that turned me off to the whole thing and i thought i'm gonna go back to old uh don zimmer and then i found this photo uh this is not a baseball card photo but i thought you guys would appreciate it and uh well here you go that's a picture of don

zimmer can we make that lounging lounging in the dugout with his belly and his crotch hanging out for the world to see in a very suggestive sexy pose. That's a power move. That's a confident man. Yeah. That's a confident man. He owns that dugout. So that's the end of my terrible little visual journey that Andrew

tried to destroy. But what we're left with, I think, is probably I think my personal preference would be one of the manager cards either dave johnson or one of the two don zimmers but i went down the zimmer hall you went to the zimmer zone i went i'm i'm in this i left the ham zone briefly to enter the zimmer zone and i zim zoned for a couple hours and then went oh right i was looking at i was looking at other baseball cards shit i spent all this time looking up Zimmer. The Zimmer zone.

I was in the Zimmer zone. I love it. Did you find any Bobby Valentine manager cards, Jeff? Because I feel like the fake mustache is so wonderful. Bobby Valentine. I did look up a Bobby Valentine, his 87 tops, I think. It wasn't as funny. Okay.

But, you know, these by no means have to be the cards we pick. I just figured we should pick... These are pretty lame, and I think they fit all the criteria. There's probably three or four million Don Zimmer staring off into the sun baseball cards out there that have to be worth less than the ink and paper. I'm a supporter of Don Zimmer. Do you know the Bobby Valentine mustache story, Gavin? Yes.

I know you and Jeff. So Bobby Valentine was a baseball manager. Was it the Red Sox, Jeff, that he was the manager of? I think he was the Mets manager at the time. Okay. He got thrown out of a game, Gavin, and he left because he was thrown out. He had to leave.

He then applied tape to his face to make a fake mustache and then he just came back and he was just in the dugout for like three more innings and then they threw him out again oh it's such a good fake mustache we'll put that in the instagram too it's great it's one of the great coaching moments where did he get that he went to the bath it was. And like, I don't remember the full story, but he, yeah, that's what he normally looks like. That's what he looks like normally? Yeah, that's what.

That would fool me. I'll be honest. That way he would definitely walk by me twice. I want to say he came back. It was there for like three more innings before they noticed he came back and they threw him out again. But it's just a great move. One of the best.

Anyway, if y'all have any suggestions, I welcome them. I think we should pick one ran fairly soon. The audience, uh, we talked about it in the episode that came out this week. The audience has been throwing out some suggestions. I'll be honest.

I haven't been blown away by any of theirs. Uh, but, uh, I just, I mean, there's, they're all,

no, they're all great in some funny way. Like they're interesting in some way that, that inherently provides value. They're sending us really interesting cards, and that's cool, but we need the opposite of interesting. We want the epitome of the absence of value.

So there can't be an interesting story. There can't be a funny pose. It can't be Jeff Reed having a heart attack. It's got to be unvalu heart attack it's got to be like it's just got to be on it's got to be unvalued it's got to be just like worthless that's interesting because i i assumed we would want like some level of intrigue around it not like the player was terrible but like an interesting story or something we just want zero value at all is what we're going well i think you said the thing that you said that stuck with me was that

it should be statistically the least valuable baseball card in the world. And I think you, I think you've got to start at managers and work your way down. That's fair. Also crazy conversation with like what's happening with GameStop stock. We were ahead of the curve with the baseball thing. Yeah, I guess we were.

Yeah. That's a good point. Do you, do you guys all loaded up on your GameStop stock? Oh, I'm, I'm good. Good deal. Yeah. All you guys all load it up on your GameStop stock? Oh, I'm good. Good deal.

Yeah. All right. Well, that was my visual game. Anyway, I don't know when we should pick one, but we should probably get to it at some point. So I'll leave it up to you guys. I would like to explore managers a little bit further, but I kind of like Don Zimmer.

Please do. I like the Don Zimmer angle quite a bit. Out of all you guys. Don Zimmer's like, he's kind of likable too, right? Like, I mean, he is, I do think he might kill you. Okay. He definitely looks like he got away with murder at some point in his life when forensic evidence wasn't as easy to examine.

But Dave Johnson gives really, and I'm sure he's a lovely man. He does give real like dickhead stepdad vibes. Absolutely. You know? There's a really great british word that i feel like i don't hear enough here gormless like if you look at dave johnson he is the definition of gormless in that picture what does gormless mean what's the definition of gormless the dropping of words meaning of it doesn't get used enough i don't even know what it means i just like it's just me well it's kind of like

uh i've heard urban dictionary now we'll have a picture of dave johnson yeah just look up gormless you know in your own convenience i like don zimmer because he looks like he's a boat captain in his free time. He's a manager half the season, and then he operates boats for the rest of the year. Have you ever seen the movie Cabin Boy? No. You should look it up. He looks like the captain of that ship.

He looks like he was driving a boat and an hour into it, he realized he zoned out and he doesn't know where he is. Yes, as he does. The Zimmer zone is also just fantastic. I'd love to enter the Zimmer zone. Zip zone. He looks like he eats spinach.

He looks like he eats spinach like other people eat dip. He's just got a hawk of spinach in the side of his mouth just waiting for geriatric Bluto to show up and try to steal what's left

of olive oil 20 minutes of what don zimmer looks like he does talk i love it the rest of the show just talking about what hobbies we think don zimmer has based off his baseball cards model trains andrew should we talk about briefly what we've been getting up to in Hitman? Oh, sure. We could talk about that for a minute. Have you topped? Have you topped what I sent you? I feel like I set the bar. No, no.

I just like to sometimes do weird shit in video games and send it to Andrew. Kind of like a things to do where you don't play the game normally. You play it like a total maniac. And I just found someone in Hitman in one of the levels he's a wine tasting and the guy's like had too much wine so he just is on a on this ai loop of he'll go and have a phone call and then he'll come to a bin and just vomit over and over again and i just sat on the bench next to the bin while

this guy's throwing up like a foot from me and i've just filmed myself sat next to this guy throwing up for like 25 seconds and i just sent the whole clip to andrew andrew andrew applied with another clip of a guy throwing up over a railing like throwing up over a balcony but andrew's hanging below him and he's just getting showered in vomit. And now I'm in a predicament where I've got to sort of outdo his vomit by trying to find something even more gross than that. And we're just sending back and forth these clips

of people throwing up near us or on us. So there's a lot of vomit in Hitman, huh? There is. Yeah, you can poison people. Yeah, I hadn't poisoned anyone in the game yet. I thought Gavin, the vomiting animation is so long, I thought you had somehow discovered a way to keep it infinitely looping, Gavin, based on the clip.

I didn't realize that. No, he just throws up. Yeah, when you make somebody sick in that game, they vomit for like a minute straight, and it's very graphic. And I was trying to do something completely unrelated to that. I poisoned a guy, and he ran over to the railing and started vomiting over it and i was like i know what i gotta do so i reverted my save to get into prime vomit taking position and just got

covered by the guy it was fantastic oh yeah we could probably put those clips on instagram yeah that's a great idea. That sounds disgusting. That's a video game that you can do some really weird, funny, creative shit in. Oh, it's the best. I always appreciate that about it. I love those games.

They're so good. Yeah, that Dubai level, the first level of Hitman 3 has, you remember when we did Puddle Pile, Jeff? Oh, yeah. There's like a puddle the size of a room

in that level and I'm trying to figure out a way to try and kill everyone at once with it. I'm excited for them to make the James Bond game. Yeah. Hey man, it feels like James Bond-ish in a weird way.

It's the most spy one. You use the camera to unlock windows and shit. I'm excited. Those are going to be good games. Or hopefully it will be a good game. So Andrew, do you have your Act 3? Yeah, let's hear Act 3. Oh, I don't have my Act 3. I could tease into Act 3. I, I don't have my Act 3. I could tease into Act 3.

I got salad cream. That's something. Oh! I got salad cream. It arrived finally. It arrived finally. I couldn't figure out. It's like a month late.

Yeah, here's the thing. If anything, I just proved how much of a genius I was. I was like, what is this package from Ireland? I have no idea what this is. Very confused. Then I was thrilled when I opened it. I was like, the salad cream finally arrived. I forgot I idea what this is. Very confused. Then I was thrilled when I opened it. I was like, the salad cream finally arrived. I forgot I even ordered this. Perfect.

I don't have a salad. Did you thank yourself? I did thank myself, but I don't have a salad. So I have salad cream. I don't have a salad. What do you mean? I was going to do a whole salad thing. I just didn't have time to prepare what I wanted to do. We were talking about this a week ago. We were saying that you should get your normal salad

for the podcast and then have some without and have some with salad cream. You've had at least a week to prepare for this. See, unlike you, I remember this conversation. I acknowledge it happened. I just, it didn't come together. I got all the stuff for it. Right, but when you're sat in the Discord

30 minutes early with your thumb in your ass, why didn't you just order a salad or something? you know next week we'll have a great act three of the salad and it's going to come together then it's going to be a great act three you wanted a good act three i mean i got blue balls for this salad cream it's been like six weeks at this point i javin do you know what i did today for for i was doing a um i was doing a meeting with rt for some to test some equipment out, and it was like at noon, and I realized I wasn't going to have time to get up and go anywhere,

so I ordered from a sub shop. I ordered a salad, and in 20 minutes, I was eating it. Wow. What do you think about that, Andrew? That's, I mean, a really boring story he just told that I don't feel like has any purpose to the conversation. Probably in the time that I could have sat in a Discord server, I could have ordered it and had it arrive. I don't see how that applies.

What do you have in your house that you could use Salad Cream on? Do you have anything green? Well, I don't want to make... I haven't tried this. I haven't even opened it yet. You put cream in coffee, from my understanding. Just saying. I'm just saying.

It's a cream. I'm not saying I'm going to do it. Just throwing it out there. I could just Just saying. I'm just saying. It's a cream. I'm not gonna, I'm not saying I'm gonna do it. Just throwing it out there. I could just try it. What do we do? Do we wait? Because I,

the next, great third act next week, I just want to bring up that I had it. Felt like it needed to be brought to me. Have you, have you, have you smelled it yet?

No, I haven't done anything with it yet. Yeah, why don't you get a whiff? Why don't you get a whiff for like a little taste? Let's cliff hang,

yeah, let's cliff hang on a whiff. I'm so scared I'm gonna shoot this everywhere. What way up is the label get a whiff? Why don't you get a whiff or a little taste? Let's cliffhanger on a whiff. I'm so scared I'm going to shoot this everywhere. What way up is the label, by the way? You'd face it like a psychopath would, based on the label. So I'm going to keep it the correct way.

I'd do it. I don't like this at all. The color of it is bad. What does it say? Lift and peel? It's like a yellowed mayonnaise. Ugh, boy. Ugh. Um, okay, we're gonna smell it. I need to mentally prepare myself for a minute, because I feel like I'm gonna

gag already, and I haven't even smelled anything. Why would you gag? It's a condiment. I feel, well, because the last time I brought a bottle to my face, Gavin, it was the waffle bar. So I think, I think I'm trained right now to feel like I want to gag that was so bad okay oh my god that sucked that was awful what do you mean I could gag off that I had to fight to not gag that smells so bad you eat this

I think you're projecting waffle bomb into it. Imagine it fresh on a nice salad. Well it is fresh, I just opened it. I couldn't get fresher. What do you mean imagine it fresh? Goat. You just got- you've poisoned your own mind. Oh no, it just smells really bad. Kinda- you know what, actually it-

I think you're right, I think that was in my head. This is fine. Kinda has a honey mustardy smell to it, actually. Why don't you just- yeah, I think you're right i think that was in my head this is fine kind of has a honey mustardy smell to it actually this is why you just yeah i think i think you're gonna like it why don't you just squirt a bit onto your to your tongue no i'm not why would i do it to my tongue i'd surely do it on my hand would i not going straight for the mouth seems aggressive can you taste stuff through your hand dude you if you want to if you really want to taste if you really want to taste it properly you need to swish it around your mouth like like you do with wine. No, I'm not doing that.

So I would do like a squirt and then swirl it around. I'm good. I think I wait for the salad. I think that's the Act 3 next week. Exciting Act 3. We've got that to look forward to then. Yeah.

What kind of salad greens do you like? I got a whole thing plant. All of them, I guess? I don't know. What does that mean? I did ask you what your normal go-to salad covering was. Like what dressing or sauce or whatever. And you said nothing.

You said you just have dry leaves. Yeah, I don't like the dressing. You get some berries in there. It's good enough. I enjoy the taste of that. But are you doing iceberg? Are you a spinach guy? A little spinach is good.

I like some romaine. Yeah, I think I'm a romaine guy, but I can't... You know, spinach is great too. I'm not too picky. I feel like the most divisive ingredient to a salad to me is carrot. Carrot? Really? Yeah, like shaved carrot is often in salad.

And I feel like I could do without. I like carrot. It's just the wrong... It's too much crunch for the other stuff. I would have to disagree with you. Yeah. You like a bit of carrot strips? I like a bit of crunch.

That's why I like croutons. I feel like there's enough crunch in a salad already. I don't know. There's such a thing. It's like a dull crunch with a carrot. That I agree with. But I think there's never too much crunch. I'm good with crunch.

It's like the thing I reject with your whole no-stuff crust thing, Jeff. I don't think you can add cheese to something and make it worse so i just it makes no sense to me that you dislike stuff crust it's an addition of cheese i would disagree with that melted cheese makes everything better okay cereal i probably would i don't drink i've never had cereal and milk so i don't know what that's like i i'd always have my cereal dry. I also haven't had a lot of cereal. I've had like three cereals.

You don't like, you don't like stuff to be wet. I'm okay with, uh, I, I don't know about that. You've never put milk on cereal? No,

because I had a milk allergy as a kid, so I just never did it, and then. That makes sense. What about like almond milk, though, and other milks? Nut milk,

soy milk. No, I never, I didn't really like any of the other variants of milk when I tried it, so I wouldn't put it on food that I thought was okay without it. So you no longer have that allergy? It doesn't seem to bother me.

I don't really put much thought into it, but I also have never just had milk. You should try milk in cereal someday. You might be surprised. I think so. What would be a good cereal? I've had like, I think I've had

Honey Nut Cheerios, I've had Fruit Loops, and I think that might be it. I think everything else is on the table. How do you feel about like a frosted mini wheat? Oh, it's a good cereal.

Is it? I'm open to it. I've never had. A lot of crunch in that for you. A lot of crunch. I like that. I'm a big Captain Crunch fan myself. It's in the name.

I also like Crunch Berries. It's also in the name. I think the question is... Peanut Butter Crunch, it's in the name as well. What type of cereal would Don Zimmer like? Golden Grahams is real good. Don Zimmer likes old people cereal. He likes...

Muesli. Yeah, he likes Weetabix and Muesli and shit like that. Nothing old about Weetabix. He likes mini-wheats. Not the frosted mini-wheats. He likes just mini-wheats. Okay. How do you like your port-a-potty, Jeff?

Oh, that's right. So what happened there? The last episode, it ended with you saying you had to make some calls. You then repeated that you needed to make some calls via text for a while. I don't know if you ever made the calls, but I never received a porta potty. Yeah, I never ordered one. I was just trying to see how many times they could get you to walk around your house. Did we get three?

I think three. Three was the amount. Yeah, that's pretty good. I had no idea if you'd ordered one or not because I know because it was discussed for a long time beforehand. Never ordered, but I was just, I'll see how many times we can get Jeff to leave the podcast. This is fun.

Was it just not in the budget? I believe so, yeah. I mean, a port-a-potty's pretty expensive. Not as expensive as I thought it would be, but it's expensive. It's expensive to buy one. Yes, it is. How much are we talking?

They wanted to rent it, Or rental was a question. I think it's way funnier if you just have to deal with the porta potty. Like it's now yours. Now you have to somehow get rid of this. Are you saying porta potty? Yeah. It's a portable potty. Porta potty.

It just sounded like you were saying like port ER. No. Porta potty. It's they range. They're like $650, $700, something like that, which isn't an insane amount of money, but for a show with no budget, it's an insane amount of money. When the budget I have to spend is zero,

and sometimes if I have to pay for anything, it has to, you know, budget numbers have to come from other things, then, yeah, hundred dollars is a lot and also it's a podcast that people listen to and they can't see it and it's not like you could see or hear it happen it would just simply be there and it would be a huge hassle for jeff to do something with this porta potty that he now owns it makes me happy yeah yeah that sounds uh that sounds like a lot of fun. Well, shenanigans.

Here's what we could do. We could use all of our winnings, all of our earnings from collecting, like from owning the global Don Zimmer baseball card market. And once we have it all, like GameStock, right? Then we can set our own price. So then we'll sell all the cards for $10,000 each, and then we'll be rich in porta-potties.

I think we have a plan. There you go. Are we good? Is that the end of the episode? You've really blue-bulls me with this salad cream, I'll be honest. Why are you upset about the salad cream? I'm not upset.

I just, I was really excited for you to try it. Oh, okay, that's fair. You know what, I apologize. He really was. I had a whole thing, it just didn't come together. Next week, we're gonna go deep in the salad cream. Let's lead with salad cream next week. Let's make it the focus.

We're going to exit the Zimmer zone briefly. I want to live there, but we're going to briefly exit to experience salad cream. I'm excited. So we've got the ham zone. We've got the Zimmer zone. We're a zone-heavy operation at this point. I wonder what we're going to do with all these zones.

We should sanction them and, I don't know, figure out a way to charge access for them. Andrew, what does Fortnite mean? It's a video game. Can't trick me. Eric, what's this? Yeah, no shit. Everyone's just sitting quietly. Everyone is being quiet. I was reading what you were typing, you lunatic. This is unlistenable. Everyone is sitting quietly. You're really not. Everyone is being quiet. I was reading what you were typing, you lunatic.

This is unlistenable. Everyone is sitting quietly. Because we're all listening to you. Everyone's sitting quietly, and then Gavin goes, Andrew, what's Fortnite? And he says, a video game, and then we're back to silence. Yeah. Insane. Not answering the question.

Insane. Ben, you said you were typing, so I was just waiting to see what you were typing. We're an hour in. What did you think I was going to say? We're good. We're done here. And goodbye. Thank you for listening to this episode of F*** Face.

Hope you enjoyed it. We'll see you next time where Andrew eats salad. Bye. Salad cream! Yeah! Pick a baseball card, Andrew and Gavin, so we can get this going. The Zimmer zone.

I feel like I'm all in on the Zimmer zone. Oh, I have to pick a specific Zimmer? That's impossible. Just pick the Phil Collins one. That is impossible, Jeff. It's a man of my heart. You gotta pick... We can only pick one.

Can't we just don't all the... How many cards does Don Zimmer possibly have? No, that's too much. Dude, there's four fucking million of that 1991 Topps 40th Anniversary Don Zimmer card right there. Four million in the world. Five variants. Gavin, pick one of the two Zimms. Are those our only manager Zimms?

Wait, I can't pick the Phil Collins serial killer one? Oh, Dave Johnson? No, the red one. Absolutely. The Zimmer one. Oh, no. the red one absolutely the Zimmer one oh no that's that's a 1950s card that's got that I'm gonna be hard to find all right well it is it is 14 nights I'm with

Eric this is the episode where it went to shit okay thanks a lot it was a good run yeah I feel like it's ended six times this is why I've been quiet every This is the episode where it went to shit. Okay. Thanks a lot. It was a good run. Yeah, I feel like it's ended six times. This is why I've been quiet every time. I'm waiting for you to do the outro, and you just don't say anything. It's weird that you try and end it, and we all sit in silence, and then you're like, ah, it didn't end. Let's keep it going.

You do that, Chuck. That's your outro. I just want an answer to the Zimmer zone. If you want to deliberate on it, we'll have an answer next week. I mean, if we want to get into card issues.'m just impatient talking about forever have you used the spreadsheet i sent you i made jeff it's still going i don't think he's used it yeah i think he's especially you're right eric what do you think what's your pick on the well guys thanks for listening episode 37 of face we're really happy that you made it all the way to the bitter fucking end of this goddamn show i hope that you had a lot of fun where um jeff put on the right sock and andrew's gonna eat salad uh he watched he didn't know what

y2k meant wacky stuff in the next episode even wackier i hope that you guys will stick around for the 38th episode uh the the uh ultimate episode where andrew eats salad that you guys will stick around for the 38th episode, the ultimate episode where Andrew eats salad. Thank you guys so much, and we'll see you next time.