Regulation Podcast - F**kface State Draft

Episode Date: July 29, 2023

The F**kface crew is back with another draft, this time they're drafting States. It was Eric's idea and what do you think Andrew is going to do? Finally a finite pool to draft from, you would think. Who won? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

🎵 Hello and welcome to another F*** Face Brand Draft. That's right, it's your favorite piece of supplemental content, or maybe it's not. Either way, it does exist and it's happening right now. Today we're gonna do eric's idea eric wanted to do a draft of the 50 states the the 50 u.s states uh it's gonna be interesting to get the perspective of andrew and uh i knew as soon as we started i knew it was gonna be what how i talked to my wife about this how is andrew going to not draft the 50 states of the United States?

It's a states draft. There was never any mention of U.S. Pacific states. What I was hoping for was that we were going to see. Jeff, didn't I tell you this in the car? I believe you did. Yeah. I said, what do you think Andrew's going to do? What I was hoping for is that we had a draft with a pool

where I would pick something, you would pick something, you'd be like, oh, man, you picked this thing. Oh, I picked that thing. Like. A finite draft pool, you mean. Correct. What a novel concept. Uh-huh.

And then, Jeff, what's happening now? Now I think Andrew's opening it up to states of being and emotional states and all kinds of other things that include the word state. Well, it has always been pitched as a state's draft. There was never any specific U.S. mention. I told you. I told you what exactly what was going to happen.

Okay. Yep. Hang on. Let's see what Eric originally wrote in the original text states draft we've talked state songs think on it yeah and then is there more to the conversation uh jeff says i do like the idea where the pool isn't everything ever i just took that as a necessary dig so i perceive So I perceive that comment. So what we were hoping for was that it was just going to be states of the union. And well, there's no union.

It was just states. But OK, I have my states ready. OK, and I'll put them all right. Any of your fancy states. See, this is what, of course. So the way this works is we do a snake draft. Why do we do a snake draft? You'd have to ask Andrew, but he won't give you a real answer.

The way that works, and we're going to do, we do an order of first, we do, typically we run with Agneg, but for these drafts specifically, we go through a randomizer.org. Nick or Eric is going to randomize it a certain number of times.

What's the number for this draft? Seven? Is it seven? I'm fine with that. Seven okay with everybody? Let's do it at seven. Okay. I'm going to list from our last order. That's what our jumping off point will be. We're going to

randomize this seven times. The first order without randomizing. This is the way their input. Andrew, Jeff, Gavin, Eric, Nick. One randomized. Here it is. Nick, Jeff, Gavin, Andrew, Eric. Number two.

Eric, Gavin, Jeff, Andrew, Nick. Egan. Great. Number three. Jeff, Gavin, Nick, Andrew, Eric. We've seen that one before. Eric, Andrew, Nick, Gavin, Jeff. Interesting.

Ing. Here's five. Eric, Gavin, Jeff, Andrew, Nick. Egan again. Uh-huh. Here's six. Nick, Gavin, Jeff, Eric, Andrew. And number seven.

This will be our draft order. Andrew. Oh, an egg. An egg. An egg. Oh my God, we got an egg.

I cannot believe it. Wow. It's truly. I've won the draft three times in a row. Yeah. Truly an unlucky number. Wow. Okay, seven.

Do you guys want me to share? Yes. No, I don't know. What? You can put your own in, I guess. I don't have to share my screen anymore, but share the, there is the draft list. You should have it now.

I think it's good to have a visual reference so we don't have mistakes. Yeah, just in case. Definitely. Okay, well, originally this was supposed to be I think it's good to have a visual reference so we don't... Yeah, just in case. The states. Definitely. Okay. Well, originally this was supposed to be for just the 50 states of the union. As I went on to say, this will be great because we're going to end up picking 20 states and there will be 30 that aren't picked. Making the 50, which are the states of the union.

However, Andrew is going to pick like Nirvana or whatever. And that will be what we are doing here. So, Andrew, you can lead us off because you're the first pick in the face states draft. Now, this is a really important pick. This is an important draft for me because I was the one that brought the draft table. I really like my performance in the last draft. I don't know if I like my performance overall, but I've learned some things. I've learned some things

during this process. I think it's really important to have a winner's mentality and an empire state of mind. Are you padding for time right now? No, I'm just explaining my pick. What's wrong? I'm not allowed to explain my pick.

We want you to go up and fucking say... Did you lose some paperwork on the desk or something and you're just trying to find it and so you're just vamping until you get there? No, no, I'm getting there. Listen, he said his pick. I'm explaining the pick. Okay, please.

That's very rude. That's not an Empire State of Mind mindset. You're having a gift that's very rude. So I'm taking Empire State of Mind. There's several references. He keeps saying that specifically. This is so fucked. I'm drafting Empire State of Mind.

It's a good perspective to have. What I've learned on these drafts is people love crack. I believe Jay-Z was in that world at one time. He's changed. He's elevated. He's now living his best life on a jet ski. If this is what an Empire State of mind looks like i want it so i'm taking empire state of mind as the number one state love it great jay-z on a jet ski looks like gus all the time

gus on his little bike yeah Yeah. That's pretty good. That's very funny. Okay, Empire State of Mind as the first pick. Eric Thors? Yeah, not, I mean, close to what I was hoping for, but close as no cigar, I suppose. Nick, you have the second pick in the first round. Well, Eric, I might make you happy with this one because it's an actual state in the Union.

And it's home to one of my favorite cities in the world. Beautiful. Pacific Northwest area, Mount Rainier. I'm going with the state of Washington. Washington. That's a good one. That's good. I love that state.

Okay. So the first pick was Empire State of Mind. The second pick is Washington. Washington. I think Empire State of Mind is a little better. Washington, personally. I've been to Washington. I would take Empire State of Mind over Washington any day.

Okay. Okay. Okay. This is going to be a weird draft. My pick. I'm the third pick in the first round. Very easy for me. No hesitation. This should have been a number one.

California. Best state in the union. Biggest state in the union. I think it's like the number seven GDP in the world. Number five. It's number five. What? It's number five GDP in the world. Number five. It's number five. What? It's number five GDP in the world.

Knew that right offhand. Great. Anyway, California is my state, and that will be my pick in the first round, the best state. Jeff, you're the next one. A bit fiery, though, isn't it? It's a little hot.

A bit fiery. It's got a lot of water. It has a lot of water. It also has a lot of mountains and a lot of water it has a lot of water it also has a lot of mountains and a lot of snow some baggage to that state for sure every state has baggage dude you know what doesn't? what? Empire State of Mind

yeah so I was excited about the spirit of this draft because we're using a finite pool. As I said earlier, it's nice to do a draft that's not pulling from everything from all times. And so I was thinking about like I'm into drafting. I just went through the obviously the NBA draft.

It's a big deal to me, one of the biggest deals of the year. And so I was thinking about like how you approach a draft, how you look at rankings you know the the preeminent power rankings or nba.com that's kind of how you determine uh who how place how people are going to go in the draft and so i thought who's like the preeminent uh like power ranker of states so i went with u.s news and world reports uh 2023 listing uh according to u.s news World Reports, the number one overall state. Yes, I'm mapping. The number one overall state in America is Utah. It comes in at 84,898 square miles.

It has a GDP of 248 billion. 46.3% of Utahns are college educated. It has a population, statewide population of three million three hundred eighty thousand eight hundred to the capital of Salt Lake City the median income is thirty seven thousand three hundred and twenty five it is listed as uh number 15 in crime and and corrections it's number one in economy somehow number five in education number one in fiscal stability which is important number seven in health care which out of 50 ain't too bad. Number four in infrastructure, not great in natural environment.

You would think it'd be better. It's 46 there. But number 20 in opportunity. And we all love opportunity. What is that? That's a lot of data. Utah. Well, I like to be scientific, you know.

As you said, I don't want to go with deep cuts when I'm building my basketball team. I want to go with the best available players. So Utah is number one in the power rankings. Gavin, do you have any thoughts on the picks so far? Pretty solid.

Good picks. Did you see Utah going first round? Is that the Mormon place? Yes, it is. Did you see Utah going first round? Is that the Mormon place? Yes, it is. It should really tell you something if that's how you identify it. Yeah, it's like Salt Flats and Mormons. That's about it.

Number seven in healthcare. Number four in infrastructure. Number one in fiscal stability don't underestimate the importance of fiscal stability okay it's the salt can you use the salt is it like salt it is what like you can just grab can you grab a handful of it and put it on your chips what are you doing okay never mind never mind. Never mind. Cultural thing. I was thinking potato chips. When you said chips, you mean fries.

That's on me. That's on me. It took me a while to translate. Yeah. Just imagining sitting down with a bag of chips, throwing more salt in. Yeah, putting salt on them. Because in my experience, there's two salts, right? There's salt, like table salt, and there's Himalayan, for some reason, pink salt.

But you don't ever hear about, you know, Utah. Isn't it the same? Isn't it just fancier? It's just fancier salt, right? I don't know how that works. I think it's just fancy salt. Maybe we should do a salt draft. I think so. I agree. I've got some black Hawaiian salt that's pretty good.

Oh shit, I've never heard of black salt. It comes from up near the volcanoes. I bought it when I was there. It'd be my first round pick in the salt draft. Montana. Okay. That's your first round pick.

There are some things I like about it. It's one of the few states I've never been to, so I don't know a lot about it. I read that it has seven people per square mile, which is nice, pretty peaceful, pretty quiet. I've heard the sky is bigger there than other states. And I've also noticed that on the map,

the shape of it is like if the bottom left corner of your fish tank exploded. Those are my reasons for enjoying the state of it is is like if the bottom left corner of your fish tank exploded those are my reasons for enjoying the state of montana have you have you never thought about how it looks like a person's face it's a person's face no i mean like if you look at montana right you said like oh it looks like your fish tank exploded you don't think that looks like a person's face oh like he's got a little schlongy little nose yeah kind of looks like you oh i wonder what yeah get him what yeah it looks like montana's looking at idaho yes that looks like a nose that can't get in a fish tank is what that nose looks like you know i'd be i'd be interested in looking at property in the tip of the nose of Montana.

It looks like it's judging the state diagonal to it. Bottom left. It's looking at it. It's checking it out. It's making sure nothing bad is going on down there. You've never been to Montana? No, I've been to 29 states, apparently, but never Montana.

You're missing out. Good shit? Good one. It's a snake draft, so you get the first pick in our second round. Okay. Next state. Liquid. Of the different states of matter, I'd say liquid is the most

interesting. Typically, if you look out of a window, you're going to be looking at gas and solid. But unless you're at the beach, or unless you look out of a window you're going to be looking at gas and solid but unless you're at the beach or unless you're you know somewhere of interest you're not seeing water water is the most interesting state of matter in my opinion as a water guy i think this is a great pick i might i honestly i may have taken it in the first round and went Montana in the second. But it's a great pick. Jeff, you have any thoughts on Liquid? I'm a big fan of it. I drink Liquid

all day, every day. If I was choosing actually between Liquid or Montana, I would go for Liquid. Right, because it's Montana. Yeah, you chose Montana, you dumbass. Montana has Liquid in it. Fair enough. Does Liquid have Montana in it? Yeah, that chose Montana, you dumbass. Well, Montana has liquid in it. That's true.

Fair enough. Does liquid have Montana in it? Yeah, that's a great question. I don't think so. I don't think so. All right, who's next? Oh, it's me? Yeah.

Okay, according to U.S. News and World Report, the number three best overall state, I couldn't pick number two, that was Washington, Nick took that pick, is it comes in at number nine. Let's see if you can guess what it is. It comes in at number nine in crimes and corrections. Number two in economy.

Number two in fiscal stability. Number 10 in infrastructure. Number 19 in opportunity. We discussed opportunity. It's something that everybody wants. And I'll say it. Everybody deserves. Number 14 in healthcare.

And interestingly enough, at New Year's Eve every year, I thought I'd throw some more interesting data in there. They do a giant potato drop to ring in the New Year. Kind of like in New York Times, they have the ball drop. Well, here they do the giant potato drop, and everybody crowds around because the potato is the national or is the state vegetable. State fruit's the huckleberry.

Obviously, I'm talking about the number three overall best state in America, according to U.S. News and World Report, number 23 in national environment. I am talking about Idaho. Oh, that was on my list. Wow. See what happens when we have a draft

with a pool that's not infinite? I'm going to have to come up with someone else. Let's see. It's bordered by Washington, Oregon, Nevada, Utah, Montana, and Wyoming. Those are all places you could visit easily from your state of Idaho. See, Gavin, and that's the point of the draft and why we do it this way, where it is going to block other people's picks, and then you have to think on your feet.

Didn't we have a block pick last year? I already had that with Rock Candy. It's true. Yeah, we forgot. Oh, that's right. I forgot about Rock Candy. That's okay. Nick can just cut that part

out of this and nobody knows. Yeah, I wouldn't want to make me look foolish. There you go. Jeff, have you been to Idaho? I've been to almost all the states, so yes. Okay, so that's almost an answer to my question. I've been to Idaho I've been to almost all the states so yes

okay so that's almost an answer to my question I've been to Boise Idaho I've been to Twin Falls Idaho I drove through it I've been down to what is it where the Snake River is where they crossed in Oregon Trail I went down that

yeah I've been I know Idaho I know Idaho and that's another thing about Idaho potatoes are in almost everything everybody loves potatoes except for my fiance I know Idaho. I know Idaho. And that's the other thing about Idaho. Potatoes are in almost everything. Everybody loves potatoes except for my fiance. Potatoes are like the fucking glue that keeps America together. And Idaho is where the potatoes are.

It's very important. She doesn't like potatoes? She doesn't like potatoes, no. She thinks mashed potatoes are the grossest thing ever. In any format there? Crazy. She likes certain french fries, but that's it man she won't hash browns

baked potato none of that shit she doesn't want it she does not like the texture of a potato what was the style of potato that Chad used to make

and bring over? all grotten potatoes she doesn't like those yeah oh that's so good yeah no kidding yeah wow

so what are you gonna do like so like if you get that I'll tell you what I'm not going to do. I'm not going to move to Idaho with her. There you go. See, that's, I guess, what I was thinking. Yeah. Okay, I have the next pick in the second round.

I'm going to take this one based purely on the people. Great, real blue collar, nose to the grindstone people, classic weirdos with great accents um my second pick is pennsylvania oh it is uh the way that they say water ice in the way that like that accent is so is so funny a yin's goings to the uh eagles game like the way they talk fantastic thank you so much for being an insane place that if you're from you don't leave so it just gets this in breeding of like accent that never ever ever ever goes away uh and that truly is a great state. Gritty is there. The Philly fanatic is there.

They're probably related somehow. Pennsylvania, we salute you. And you are my second round pick. Thanks for cheesesteaks. Hey, there you go. See, a little bit of something for everyone. Nick, thoughts? I love that state.

Good pick. See, I thought I'd take it out from under Nick. You really did. Home of the Philadelphia Phillies, and now I'm really hurting. Yep. And when I take over Pennsylvania, they're dissolved as a team. All right.

That's rough. Mike Schmidt's rolling over in his grave. He's probably still alive. I'm going to take this draft out from under you, Eric. Okay, Nick Nick you're the next pick alright XXX stated the union oh that was on my list

is next that's for you I was gonna go with states all the way through and then you stole Pennsylvania this sucks ice cube replaces Xander cage in this one and uh they allegedly kill him off until he comes back in the sequel but

yeah a little 2005 movie that some people saw i guess oh i yeah absolutely we talked triple x state of the union it is classic vin diesel where they killed him off or in a vin diesel universe killed off a character brought back later I'd maybe argue the best thing about XXX State of the Union is Ice Cube's appearance in the third XXX movie as like a hero of sorts he shows up in the last act for no reason for the grenade launcher it's great

he saves the day has Nick sniped that from your list Andrew it was on my list I didn't know if it would get contentious because it's not it's a State of the Union I don't know if that would count under the thing so I removed it but yeah it was a consideration yeah

that's fair clearly the draft all right next oh it's my pick okay yeah well we're talking US states we've talked basketball I'm taking i'm taking the big state taking the big state which is some people may think of alaska fuck that i don't want that i don't want that baggage i don't want to deal with that i don't give a fuck about alaska what

i'm talking about is big state in the film he got game i'm talking i'm talking jesus shuttlesworth i'm talking public enemy the state of big that is the school that denzel washington the beginning of the movie he gets told that his son he needs to try to get him to big state which is the governor the governor runs the the i will think he governs and he's like i want your son on the team that I went to school for, Big State. He organizes a prison escape well not an escape but essentially an escape just to try to get this kid on his

basketball team. I respect that. I respect the mindset, the hustler mentality of Big State. My second pick is Big State. Do you know who Jesus Shuttleworth, who played Jesus Shuttleworth? Shuttlesworth, rather? I'm blanking his name, but yeah.

Ray fucking Allen. NBA great. Oh, really? Second greatest three-point shooter of all time and greatest until Steph Curry came along. Dethroned Reggie Miller. Yeah, it was none other than like 19-year-old Ray Allen himself right as he was going into the NBA.

Oh, wow. So there we go. That's a literal state. I picked a U S state. It is fictitious, but it is the U S state. Love it. Wherever you're going,

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Now do I have a swing? Does it go back to me? It does. Okay, well I am... If I am anything, I am a big company guy. Love the company. Right, and that's what we've always said. We talk about Andrew, am a big company guy. Love the company. Right, and that's what we've always said.

We talk about Andrew, we go big company guy. When you think not the Rooster Teeth store, you think that is a company man right there. Yeah, that's, yeah. And there is a slogan. Company has a slogan, which is just playing, as we're doing here at this current time. We're just playing.

So I am taking, with my third pick uh first round or first pick of the third round i'm taking state of play what a place to be in it's what we do it's it's about video games i like to play we're playing right now i like to watch people play i'm all about saying we're playing right now like you keep saying it well that's what we do here it's what we do here state of play my third pick god that's all right wait what is that when uh playstation does their press conferences dude when they show their the new games they call it a state of play so I'm all about the state of play that's motherfucking

the most you're giving and Gavin just keeps going okay Nick oh fuck I'll help you here Eric I'm gonna get us back on track I'm gonna go with the state of Alaska but the state of Alaska. I think you were worried for a second.

But the state of Alaska, it's where I went on my honeymoon. So it holds a special place in my heart. And it's beautiful out there, you know? Too much sun a lot of the year. Not enough sun most of the rest of the year. But in between, real pretty. You get that three weeks there where it's fucking great. Yeah.

You travel there then, and then you leave the rest of the time. Yeah, who wants to be on a vacation longer than three weeks anyway? Exactly. Did you see some northern lights? Oh, no, I missed out on that. But I did get to see some cool glaciers that were probably melting. Oh. That's interesting.

What? That were probably melting. Well, you know. That's not great. I think it's a safe assumption. Yeah. Yeah we're probably melting. Well, you know. Great. I think it's a safe assumption. Yeah. Yeah. It's hot.

Yeah, dumbass. Ice melts in the heat anyway. Your pick, Eric. It's hot. It's hot. The day's 23 hours long. It melts. It does.

I feel like the number one thing I hear about ice is that it's hot it's hot the day is 23 hours long it melts it does yeah i feel like the number one thing i hear about ice is that it's melting so i think that i hear about it a lot i hear and you know liquid was already taken as a state so it's something to think about um too much sun i will pick oh a true paradise the last state to be ratified in the United States. It is Hawaii, just barely inching out Alaska. Alaska was ratified in June of 59, and Hawaii in August of 59. So within a one-year span, those are our two final states. Hawaii, we'll say the opposite of Alaska in terms of the amount of sun and not sun,

I guess, um, very important to people. Uh, no ice. It is. It's a, it's a great state.

It's mostly a state. So that way we had a stopover all the way to Japan. Case of, you know, any kind of, uh, uh, foul play or fighting. However, it is a state in the union, so I will be choosing Hawaii,

a state where I proposed to my small wife. Aw. And there you go. That is my third pick. Very nice. As we go into Jeff. Making it personal yeah

this pick is not as personal as Eric's pick but I do I have some personal feelings about it did you guys know

were you guys aware that Americans consume 68 billion cups of popcorn every year that's enough popcorn

to fill the Empire State Building 18 times. And this state produces more than 25% of the entire country's popcorn supply. Clearly, I'm talking about the number 26 state

in crime and corrections, number 7 in education, number 11, 12 in national environment, number 10 in economy. It's obviously number five in infrastructure you know they got to have an infrastructure to handle all that corn number 11 in fiscal stability i am talking about the great agricultural state of nebraska population of 1.967 million people gdp at 1.162 billion that's a lot of popcorn. Capital movement. That's on my list as well.

Oh, wow. Was it really? I'm just going down there. It's on the U.S. News and World Report power rankings, number four. What's the population of Austin, Texas? Is it half the population of Nebraska? The population of Austin, Texas is a little over a million. Yeah. So it's about half the population of the state of Nebraska? The population of Austin, Texas is a little over a million. Yeah. So it's about half the population of the state of Nebraska.

Well, the metro, I mean, the city itself is like right at a million. The metro is 2.4 million. So the metro area, which includes like Georgetown, Cedar Park, that area is about 2.5 million. So you're saying Nebraska makes enough popcorn to fill like four and a half Empire State Buildings. Excuse me? Yeah, are you saying that?

I don't know. I'm just saying what I read. Is it all what you say? I said that Nebraska makes enough popcorn to, they make 68 billion cups of popcorn every year. And that's enough to fill the Empire State Building 18 times. And that they produce more than 25% of our country's popcorn supply. What's your issue with that, Gavin? Well, no, I thought the total popcorn was 18 Empire States,

and they did 25%. So I was like, oh, maybe Nebraska alone is like four Empire States. What? I see what you're saying. I see what you're saying. Hey, why is, Jeff, you picked this state, and I'm just curious, Lincoln is the capital, right? According to my research, yes.

Great. But Omaha is like the city that I when I think of Nebraska, I think of Omaha. Yeah, but mostly because of mutual of Omaha. That must be the reason. Why is it? Why is Omaha trying to escape the state of Nebraska and move into the state of Iowa? I'm glad I'm glad you asked. So Omaha, it had been the territorial capital

for a long time, but the Cedar government eventually got moved to Lancaster, which was renamed Lincoln following the assassination of Lincoln in 1865. I don't know if that exactly answers your words, but they're probably some, kind of like how Philadelphia used to be the seat of power in America,

but then they refer to the elites who left to go live in the swamp in uh in washington dc as they say they're they're still bitter about it i imagine the uh oma the omahans are bitter about having the uh seat of government ripped out from under them and did you think about any of that andrew all of it it's a consideration i typically have well there you go that's a great third typically have. Well, there you go. That's a great third pick. Thank you. Gavin, you're going to get our last third pick and our final fourth pick in our state draft.

Okay. All right. Here we go. Oh, great state song. That's a fugue state. Oh. Yeah, there you go. A disassociative episode. Oh, I didn song. That's a fugue state. Oh. Yeah, there you go.

A disassociative episode. Oh, I didn't say that right. I learned about it from Breaking Bad, where you could see into Bryan Cranston's asshole, almost, from across the shop. I thought you were taking New Mexico. I thought he was drafting New Mexico. Me too.

100%. Absolutely agree with you. Thought he was picking New Mexico. I was about to write it, and then he said, Fugue. So, Fugues. Reversible amnesia for one's identity, including memories, personality, and other identifying characteristics. Characteristics

of individuality. How much popcorn can you fit into a fused state? You can fit at least one cup of popcorn into that picture. Are you on the verge of experiencing a fused state right now? I think so.

I had too much coffee today. You need to do our final pick. You can't go into a fused state until now? I think so. I had too much coffee today. You need to do our final pick. You can't go into a fugue state until we're done with this draft. Okay, well, I'll be honest. My only stupid pick originally was Liquid, and then I had Idaho and Nebraska. So we're really reaching.

We're stretching. My final pick is nuclear criticality. The state of a nuclear power station where everything is going right. And I think that's one of the best states that can possibly exist inside nuclear power. At least all mine have state in the name. I just want that stated.

They're states. Okay. I'm not giving you an inch, Andrew. I don't know if you're doing state of play or whatever then yeah we could do nuclear criticality yeah no shit

couldn't just pick Iowa big state I didn't research those you did do research on nuclear criticality. A little bit. I did a little bit of panic research on that.

You've been to, what, like 22, 23 states? You can't. 29. But the thing is, Andrew, I'm looking at your column, and it's really spurring me on in possibly the wrong direction. Don't you start blaming me. Oh, Lord. Well, Jeff, what is your final pick?

Okay, my final state, moving down the U.S. News and World Report power rankings. This state is, well, actually, this state is interesting because it spawned a lot of people, a lot of famous people, a lot of talented people you may have heard of. I'm talking about Gilbert Godfrey, David Wayne,

Ken Marino, Michael Showalter, Joe Latrullio, Kerry Kinney, Michael Ian Black. All of these people were cast in the 1993 television show on MTV, The State, which is one of the best sketch comedy shows of all

time, and if you've never seen it, you, I really recommend it. It's got every famous catchphrase. I dip my balls in it. Yeah. I will say, Jeff,

did you have the state as one of your original picks or were you spurred on by Gavin and Andrew? I always had the state as number four. Okay. I was going to take the best three state states available via US News and World Report and then I was going to mix it up. The state is just most people

that went on to do Reno 911 and Stella and any David Wayne movie. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Wet Hot American Summer, all the same people. Yep. So very cool. The state, the same people yep so very cool the state good one that's very cool why are you cool with that one but not andrews oh i'm not cool with this he's not oh no i'm again a lot yeah it's just no it's cool i mean the state is cool as a pick in our

state draft it's not cool but as a thing in itself I do like it I think you've learned a valuable lesson in being specific of a text yeah that's right I'm a fucking idiot I will say if I hadn't picked the state

it was going to be Minnesota so Minnesota's up for grabs if anybody wants it that's great I will say my last pick I think is going to be one that was never on anyone's list i don't think that i don't think anyone was going to pick it i think it's a cool state new hampshire small state new england state it's up there at the top they got black bears uh

their motto is live free or die i think it's great but if i were to take over this state like in my thinking of like oh you know if i'm picking my states i'm gonna make a union out of my states new hampshire is my pick um the first state right uh is it the first state nick would know it's the first state in the in the um presidential primaries right the dnc the democrat primary i think it might be i think you're right. My reasoning for it is the live free or die thing is very cool. And also, if I were to take over that state, I would rename it to New Hamster

and that would just be the end of it. So that's my thinking for New Hampshire and why it's my fourth pick in this state draft. I stuck with states. You know what, Eric? I saw a New Hampshire license plate yesterday. Small world.

Oh, that's fun. Yeah. There you go. Nick, what's your fourth pick? What's your bullshit fourth pick? No, no. It's a state in the union. And I only went off track because Eric stole Pennsylvania.

It's retaliated. Yeah, it really was. Exactly. Payback. that's retaliate yeah it really was exactly your payback uh this estate is home to four national parks and allegedly the largest airport in size in the u.s it is colorado colorado was on my list i almost took it i love that's a good one uh face jam actually took a road trip up there which was a lot of fun too. What a great way to see that in a car with three co-workers and another van full of people

shooting everything you do. Not friends, co-workers. A couple of... Friends and co-workers. Michael's made it very clear that we are co-workers. People that I have a professional working relationship with. People who hold microphones near me. What do you think of the shape of the state?

Great shape. Great shape, yeah. Great shape for Colorado. Beautiful. A couple of facts. They have the highest paved road in the U.S. The longest continuous street in the U.S. World War II troops trained for mountain combat there.

And allegedly the cheeseburger was invented in Denver. That's true. I've read that. That's in my list of state facts. The cheeseburger was invented there. Really? So thank you to Colorado. That's good. The only reason it was

lower on my list and I didn't pick it is because I was just there and it takes like 45 minutes to get from a city to the airport and that knocks it way down oh my god oh do you guys want to hear a fucking a small world thing about Denver or about Colorado while there's while there's much contention around where the cheeseburger was really invented, it was in Colorado that the term was coined. Trademarked by Louis Ballast of Denver's Humpty Dumpty Drive-In in Denver in 1935.

It was coined at the Humpty Dumpty Drive-In. Wow. God damn, dude. The boy's a dumpty right again. Incredible. Wow. God damn, dude. That boy's a dump D right again. Incredible. Incredible. Oh man. Well,

there you have it. And now Andrew. Oh shit. He's just going to do like find a story or something. Well, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Andrew's scrambling because no, no, no nuclear criticality. Yeah. He was going to pick Colorado and now he's like, oh, fuck, what am I going to do? Well, I've been to the four states and two of them I didn't want

to take. So I did plan on taking one of the ones I went at this spot, but that's gone. Mine were taken. So I have no real states I could pick. I did consider because I love it so much, just drafting State of Play the film, as

opposed to it's a different thing than the livestream, but I'm not going to do that. I'm going to stick, once again, real state in a fictitious place. Blue Mountain State will be my final pick of the draft. Once again, it's a state

in the world that it's in. It's Alan Richardson. Yeah, you know him. I've never seen the show. I don't have a lot to say about it. Wait, what? And yet it's your fourth and final pick. Well, the states I've visited have already been taken, so I can't take

those. Every state? Well, Hawaii. I was open to Hawaii. Oh, so I can't take those. Every state? Well, Hawaii. I was open to Hawaii or Washington. Oh, you mean Eric's third pick? Yeah. Hawaii or Washington would be my two that I considered. I don't think I could take two states of play.

I have State of Decay, but that just felt, I don't know. I liked the first game. I didn't really like the second one that much. State of Emergency, you didn't feel like you... I thought about that. Yeah, I don't know. I liked the first game. I didn't really like the second one that much. I'm going to go with Blue Mountain State. I never played it. That was the game on the shelf that I wasn't allowed to rent when I was a kid. It was at 18 and I

wasn't allowed to rent that either. I'm a Blue Mountain State. I don't have Texas fans in the room. I was never going to take Texas. I couldn't take Texas. That was one of my four. My other one I was never going to take Texas. No, I couldn't take Texas. That was one of my four. My other one I was never going to take is California, personally.

I just have no need for it. It's a pretty similar weather. You don't need California? I don't need it. It's right next to me. Blue Mountain State is based on Virginia Tech, so that would be the state. Oh.

Well, it's based on. It isn't. Based on is not the same as it is. Right. But isn't Washington closer to you? Yeah, it's based on. It isn't. Based on is not the same as it is. Right. Different things. But isn't Washington closer to you? Yeah, but that was taken. But you said you didn't want to take California because it's close to you.

But the one you were going to take is even closer. Yeah, but Washington has a different feel. California is. Yeah. Yeah, Gavin. Come on. Oh, sorry. I apologize.

Yeah. Thank you for apologizing. Because it's the proximity. Apology barely accepted. You know how Eric complained about the airport, the distance to the airport in Colorado? That's my feelings about California. It's a little too far for the same.

The overlap in Washington, it's close enough for me to be okay with it. I could take a 60-minute boat ride to get there. I feel like California shouldn't be on there because LAX is the worst airport in the world. No, it's not.

It's, it's definitely not. It's not even close, but Atlanta's got the worst airport in the world or fucking Chicago. Oh, hair, Chicago. Oh,

hair. Oh, that's a, that's a dog shit airport. I think, well, Chicago, I always get delayed,

but as an airport, it's more welcoming than the blast in the face of noise and filth that occurs at LAX, especially when coming international. Oh. No, no, no. I don't know. Okay. I would much rather go to LAX than Atlanta. Yeah.

Atlanta's interesting. I'd rather go to LAX than O'Hare. Has anyone ever flown out of O'Hare on time in history? Not ever. No. No, never. It's not possible. You're going to lose your kid in that airport.

I would rather fly Heathrow to Austin via LA than Chicago O'Hare. And I have done that before. But not by choice. Wow. Well, that's our draft. Let me just go through these picks. Andrew, Empire State of Mind. Shout out to 560 State Street.

Great. Big State. State of Play. Great. Big State. State of Play. And Blue Mountain State. Never seen it. Nick has picked Washington. Triple X State of the Union. Alaska and Colorado.

Eric, who played in the spirit of the draft, California, Pennsylvania, Hawaii, and New Hamster. Fourth was Jeff, who almost did it. Utah, Idaho, Nebraska, and the state. So, sorry, just for a second. You were reading off of a list, Jeff, of what the number one were? Yeah, it was like the best states in America

as ranked by U.S. News and World Report. It's a list that they put out every year. They weren't even your picks. No, that's what I was saying. I was going off the power rankings. Yeah, I feel like it's like when I would do a fantasy draft with a magazine, and I'm just getting the next off the board round after round.

Just getting the best available. I'm trying to build the most powerful state team. Yep. And then finally, Gavin, who picked Montana. Liquid. Great pick. Fugue and nuclear criticality. I think I've done well.

I think I've done all right. You did really well. I was thinking, with Nick talking about Alaska and the ice melting, what happens when the ice melts? What does it do? It becomes liquid. What does that liquid become?

A Terminator, Terminator 2. An upgrade over the first film, a great film, a terrifying villain. I think that's a great pick. You think the liquid from the melting ice caps turns into Terminator from Terminator 2? Holy shit. What if the whole point of the polar ice caps

is that it's all the Terminators ever frozen and global warming is really unleashing the robot army on us? Skynet was here all along. You know, I guess what if? Every Al Gore ad just has the... So Andrew's saying I basically drafted the T-1000, which I think is only bonus points. Yeah.

For sure. Good pick. So if anyone won this, it's me. Yeah, Eric wins by default, I'm sad to say, but he definitely does. Huh. We'll see. Yeah.

So... We'll see. We definitely does. We'll see. Yeah. We'll see. We'll see. I really want to go to Montana. Let's go. So you can get it off your list? I'd love to get it off my list. Have you been to Minnesota yet? Let me check.

What are you checking? He's checking his little app. Oh, I don't know. tell me hold on let me how often do you use this app it's looking at every time i go to a new state is this the app so how often fraser told you to use a long time ago possibly yeah so i think so so you use this app when you go to a new state. So how often do you use this app? I just went to Kentucky a few months ago. Put that off my...

So... Oh, what's new? Hold on. Posting this. You should know. All right. He's checking out the updates. You tell me wherever...

Oh, wow. You have... You've really... You're like going around in like spiral style taking over the u.s basically that is 10 years worth of business trips and nothing has ever taken me to that big hunk in the middle like what is there what is out there not a lot of nothing you fly over that that's where all the potatoes and corn are, man. Yeah. That's where... Those are... All of those that aren't highlighted,

those are what we call the flyover states. Yeah. Gavin, if... So you've never been to Minnesota, just so you can understand it. You know how Louisiana's the boot, right? Sure. At the bottom, it looks like a boot,

facing right, or an L. If you follow the leg all the way up to the top, the very top where the thigh is, and it looks like it's going to touch a crotch, that's Minnesota. Well, there you have it. The state draft. I had a great time.

Great. I'm amazed. I'm amazed this wasn't a blindside, and I'm so happy it wasn't. I was having a drink at a wedding, and I went, wouldn't this be fun? And here we are. Uh,

right. Was it fun? Big state and triple X state of the union and fugue. All on the draft. Fantastic. Um, when you, when you were having that conversation at the wedding,

did you not think Brian Cranston's ass was going to come up? Like not even a possibility. No, it's definitely didn't cross my mind while I was at the wedding. Okay. I don't think I've ever had that thought. It's never been. No, also have not. No, ever, ever.

But we did it. We've done another successful draft for F*** Face. Thank you so much for listening. You can comment on this and let us know what your states are. I have a question though. What would this have looked like if we just had a list of half the states? I think that it would have been arguments about

people who picked the same states and someone's going to have to take Wyoming. Yeah, look at how salty people got about states that got picked already. Yeah, so, yeah, Nick didn't like that I picked Pennsylvania, so he picked XXX State of the Union.

And I'm not talking fancy pink Himalayan salt either. I'm talking fucking Morton's gross-ass table salt. I just think that there are 50 states in the U.S. and probably about 13 good ones. If that. Maybe 13. And none of the ones I picked, by the way. No, because Utah is a first pick.

Crazy. I'm just happy that no one picked Arizona, which I feel is the worst state in the union. And, like, that's what I anticipate. You think Arizona's worse than Louisiana? Yes. Oh, man. I think Arizona is a, I think it should get split.

You think it's too hot? No, dude. I think the four states around it should each take a piece and expand a little bit. First off, Tucson is cool, and Flagstaff is cool. The rest of the state's not. Flagstaff's cool as fuck, dude. Flagstaff is the spot. Don't sleep on Flagstaff.

Sleep all you want on Flagstaff. Don't do it. It's a cool-ass town. I'm just wondering, if I live here, if I just keep living here and don't go home, what will be the last state

I naturally visit? Because I think eventually I'll get taken to some more. I think Alaska? See, I could see myself filming something there. I feel like I would never touch Wyoming. I don't think there would ever be

a reason to go there. No, no. You would touch Wyoming because it's a big place for influencers to go out and buy ranches and stuff. Kanye lives out there, and Jeffree Star lives out there, and a lot of those Hollywood types. So there could be a big shoot or some sort of an event or something out there.

Yeah, you can go out there with Jeffree Star and Kanye. Do I give off big Kanye vibes? No, not at all. When I think of you, I give off big kanye vibes no not at all i'm just saying you i'm like oh you're filming i'm just saying there's a it's where it's become like a playground for a lot of like celebrity type a lot of people that make content and you tend to uh the circles that we work in tend to go where content is from time to time and i can see there being a better chance of you going there than like north Dakota. Oh, I think it's, see, I think Maine. I don't think you're going to Maine. I think if you go to one of those places,

you go to all of them at once, right? You just do like a little road trip. Yeah. I feel like Apple's could potentially take us to Maine. I just think Maine is way up there and you've already hit pretty much everything else around there. Just doesn't feel like there's going to be a thing where you're like, got to go to Maine.

Has anybody in this video or this audio been to maine no no wow andrew you've obviously no i wonder how many states in america there are that none of us have been to it might only be maine i mean everyone fill this app out and then we'll be able to cross-reference. Yeah, we should. We should because it would be interesting to find out if there's like one or two or three states that none of us have been to, we could go for the first time together.

And you've probably got the most, Jeff, haven't you? Yeah, I've been to like 46 states, I think, 45. Jesus. Wow. So, oh, hang on. Then why are we all filling this out? I'll fill it out. You fill it out and then we'll go,

okay, we haven't been to these four. All right, I'll fill it out and then we'll go okay we haven't been to these four all right i'll fill it out well let me ask you this jeff what from my list have you not been to i've never been to north dakota uh i've never been to maine i mean i've never been to i've never been to vermont i've never been to rhode island um i've never been to new ham I've never been to Rhode Island. I've never been to New Hampshire. That's about it. I think those places in North Dakota are the only places I've never been. Yeah. Well, there you have it.

The state draft. Only the way that face could do it. Thank you so much for listening. Well, you fucking asshole, I told you. Uh-huh. No, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I appreciate it. If you like this, listen to the other ones

they're pretty much like this but weirder i would think uh thanks for listening have uh go give us a follow at face pod on instagram on twitter uh go follow us on youtube you can watch this or listen to it whatever you like and you can check out all of our cool, cool content. Thank you so much for listening. Andrew, any parting words for everyone out there? Shout out to 500 State Street.

Once again, can I ask a question? Are you saying, Eric, that the other drafts are weirder than the state of play and nuclear criticality? Yeah, I mean,

that's so fucking up there. I think Rock Not Rock is a tough one to top. Clear pool. Like, on its face, it's telling you what it is, and I think we really take it in a lot of different directions.

So I think Rock Not Rock is definitely at the top. What do you think, audience? State of play. We're just playing. Okay, that's it.