Regulation Podcast - F**kface Watchalong: Condorman

Episode Date: May 12, 2023

“Woody, you're a great cartoonist, and you're a great comic book writer - but you're a lousy bird.” Prepare for takeoff as F**kface brings you a new watchalong, this time with the 1981 "classic" Condorman. Cartoonist Woody becomes the superhero he draws. Using his gadgets he helps a Soviet spy defect to the West. Watch along with Geoff, Gavin, Andrew, Eric, and Nick to unlock the mysteries that are Condorman. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a Rooster Teeth production. Hello and welcome to another episode of, what do we call this, F*** Face Catches a Movie? I don't think we've ever called it that. I think that's maybe the first time I've heard those words in that segment. I'm saying, what do we call this? I'm asking you, what should we call it? I think we just call it Watches Blank. F*** Face Watches Blank.

I think it's just F*** Face Watches Condor Man. Film Face. Fuck Film. I think Film Face is a really good... Because if it was like Film Fuck, we shouldn't do that. See, I didn't... If we shouldn't do that. I think... See... This is good.

See, I didn't... If I hadn't asked that question, we never would have gotten to... What is it? Film face? Which is great. You were trying to make a point and couldn't remember the name

that you were making the point with. No. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, so today, this is the third iteration of this. The very first one we did, we watched The Tuxedo. And then the second one, we watched MVP 2. And then today, we are going to watch the, I don't know, 1980 or 1981 film Condor Man.

Which is a Disney film starring Michael Crawford. If you don't know who Michael Crawford is, he was the original Phantom of the Opera. Oh, okay. Some mothers do have a Michael Crawford. What's that? What? Yeah, Michael Crawford from the Phantom of the Opera

and also from Hello Dolly, I think was his other big role that he did. What was the one you said? What did you say? I said some mothers do have them. Some others do have them. Some mothers do have them. Okay.

Relax. Calm down. Jesus Christ. We're watching a movie. Why are you mad? I don't understand what he's doing. Is that a movie that Michael Crawford was in? No. It's like a popular sitcom in the 70s. But was he in it?

Was he in it? Why would I be talking about that? I'm looking at that. I'm asking you. Why is it written like the way you speak? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't like that. Because that's the way he speaks.

Michael Crawford played Frank Spencer in Some Mothers Do Avenue. Frank Spencer is one of the most iconic characters in British history. Really? Yeah, well, Phantom of the Opera is pretty iconic in America. That's fair. Good singer, isn't he? What do some mothers have? What is the um? Like when someone's a dipshit.

They're like, oh, some mothers do have them. Oh, like some mothers have dipshits. Yeah, same Michael Crawford. Easy. He, like some mother. Like, got it. Dipshits. Dipshits. Got it. Yeah. Same Michael Crawford. Easy. He is also in this. Interesting, really interesting resume, Michael Crawford's career.

I think he even won a Tony for Phantom of the Opera, but maybe I'm just remembering that. Anyway, Eric asked, why are we doing this? I think we're doing this because we wanted to continue to watch movies, and we were having a conversation about if I were to pick a movie because i think i think technically the first one was picked by gavin that was kind of his story the second one uh was clearly andrew's the story of andrew learning how to skateboard from a monkey in his childhood a prized moment i tried to reach back into my childhood uh the movies that i loved as a kid that i i couldn't make us watch today uh like the apple dumpling gang like nobody needs to see that uh or the shaggy da or any of that stuff or those

fabulous dobermans is it racist no they're just bad it's their bed they're just bad sorry they're long and boring kids movies it's like trying to to sit down and watch Mary Poppins today. You're like, we're a fucking hour in and Mary Poppins hasn't opened her umbrella once. Do anything. Yeah, but the cannons have gone off. The cannons have gone off. That's what keeps you awake in the first fucking hour. Anyway, so I remembered a movie that has always stuck with me called Condor Man.

And here's what I remember about the movie. has always stuck with me called Condor Man. And here's what I remember about the movie. And I must admit a little trepidation and a little fear because y'all had great movies with great stories. I just remember that when this movie came out, I was desperate to see it. And my mom used to take me out on little movie dates where we would go like get dinner and then go to a movie like mom and son kind of thing. And so she took me out to see Condor Man. All I remember about the movie, all I remember about the movie is like a wingsuit and that they promoted Condor Man Crunch ice cream heavily. And so right after the movie, my mom took me to Baskin Robbins, or we used to call it

back then, we used to just call it 31 Flavors when I was a little kid. But she took me to Baskin Robbins and and they had Condorman Crunch, and I ate it. And I thought it was the best ice cream on earth. And that's the sum total of my memory of Condorman. I don't know what the movie's about. I thought about going and watching it ahead of time to kind of prep. But I kind of thought it would be better if I went in just as blind as y'all. Absolutely.

And so I'm really nervous because the tuxedo? Home run, right? MVP 2, grand slam. So the stakes are pretty fucking high for Condor Man. And I feel like I have the least amount of touch point to that movie compared to the ones y'all had. So this could be a flaming disaster. But we all did make Condor Man Crunch. Do you guys want to like talk about your condor

man punch i mean i did you might take a photo and share i took a photo i'm good to go i just want to say that i wish we still and maybe it is in america we don't really have basket robins at least where i live uh i wish we lived in a world where there was more licensed ice cream i love the idea of movie ice cream in general i I was looking at other basket Robbins flavors. They did this one. This is my favorite one. I've seen can't stop the nuts that was inspired by the sensational new can't stop the music. It's great. Like, I just want that dumb shit in my life, and I don't think we really have it.

I agree. But Gavin immediately shared his ice. Is that OK? That's OK. Let me just look. Is that okay? That's, oh, okay, let me just look. Is that a, that looks really faithful. Is that pecan pralines broken up? It is, but also, I've made an addition. Okay.

I've also, because I couldn't find pralines because I didn't know what they were, I bought chocolate pretzels. Oh, that looks great. And then I found pralines. So I've added the pretzels on as to not waste them. So let me list the ingredients of the ice cream

as we're going through this. As per the ad for Conor and Crunch that we found on the internet, chocolate ice cream with crunchy praline pecan bits and a milk chocolate ribbon. And I have to say, I figured I could go

into the grocery store and find like chocolate praline ice cream. You can't. Like they hit on a flavor. They nailed it out of the gate and then nobody else. We tread over their steps. There is a dearth of those ingredients even coming close to being in the same ice cream at the store. From what I can tell.

Andrew, do you want to show yours now? Sure. So I had I couldn't find just pralines by themselves, so I had to buy a praline ice cream. So I went with a mix. I also realized, Gavin, I thought yours had melted because of the whiteness of the plate and that that was what was left.

I have so much more ice cream than you have. I have a full bowl. It should be up on the photo right now. Oh, my God. So we got some praline ice cream in there with chocolate, a deep chocolate ice cream, and a little chocolate swirl on top. It was the closest I could get to the pralines and the chocolate.

I think it's going to be delicious. I'm excited to try it. I think both of your ice creams look beautiful. I think they're different and unique, and I think you should both be proud of them. Eric, do you have one to share, or is it just those guys? No, it's just them. I didn't get ice cream for the Condor Man because I made a cup of coffee.

I've got coffee, too. Wow. Me and Gavin, a couple of coffee guys, right? God, I wish I had coffee. I just have water. I haven't told you guys about this. It's main content, but I gave up sodas, and so now I just have water. I haven't told you guys about this. It's main content, but I gave up sodas. And so now I just drink water.

That's fucking boring. Yeah, my whole life is boring. Not even Coke Zero? No, I don't. Okay, hang on. It's a long story. But no, not even Coke Zero. I gave up sodas.

Wait, wait, wait. What about Coke Zero? No, I don't drink that. Okay, but what about Dr. Pepper? No, Dr. Pepper and Coke Zero are different things. Coke Zero is barely a soda. I've had one Diet Coke since last

Saturday. Are you horrendously addicted to caffeine and that's why? No, I just was trying to save money and sodas are getting real expensive with inflation and also I drink five to ten Diet Cokes a day. That can't be good for me. Oh, Jesus Christ. Honestly, diet Pepsi.

So maybe that's better in some way, diet Pepsi. Don't you drink like six monsters a day? Yeah, I drink probably three monsters a day as well. And then two iced coffees. Well, that's where all the money's going. But I've cut all that out. You don't drink any energy drinks now? No.

I haven't had an energy drink since last week. Maybe that's why you were so quiet when you joined. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I will say, man, I've been consuming that level of caffeine since I joined the army, and I had to learn how to stay awake. And I have been having trouble staying up past 9 p.m now

uh it turns out you cut i don't know a thousand milligrams of caffeine out of your day you go right the fuck to sleep i love that you're like i'm unfazed by caffeine does nothing to me and then you remove it instantly like i cannot stay awake me and the uh me and the chickens as soon as the sun goes down, we're fucking dead to the world. Anyway, we can talk about all that in the face. It's not for, and it's not like a hard and fast rule.

Like, I'm not, like, if I go to a restaurant and they have soda on the menu, I will order it. I'm just not going to pay. I'm just not going to buy a bunch of soda cans and have them in my fridge and stuff. Okay, anyway,

my ice cream is, I also couldn't find, I couldn't find i couldn't find pralines at all i know what a praline is i know what a pecan praline is if uh if i had the time i would have driven to like one of the mexican restaurants around my house and they tend to sell them in little cookies you can get uh they're fucking delicious like at the at the register but i couldn't find any like that at the grocery store. So I got chocolate ice cream with butter pecan praline ice cream, and I mixed that together, which gives me some vanilla in there, so it's not really true to the recipe.

Then I put crushed pecans on it and then got into a bit of a heated discussion with Emily this morning about what constitutes a chocolate ribbon. She felt very, I was just going to pour chocolate syrup on. She felt very serious that they would not advertise a chocolate ribbon as chocolate syrup because of consistency that it's probably chocolate fudge that was folded into the ice cream. So it has to go all the way through like a vein. Yeah. So I bought chocolate fudge and put that on it as well. And I already ate it. It's already gone.

I think yours looks the best. Yeah, I think you did great. Hey, Nick, what kind of ice cream do you have? It's Midnight Crunch, which is like a mix of M&Ms and like... It has the folded in chocolate, so I'm halfway there. There you go.

I went no ice cream. You just went any ice cream. Yeah. Solidarity, man. If you were to ask Nick what ice cream he's having, he would have an answer for each episode. I assume he's just always eating ice cream. I think you're right. I don't think this is specific to this thing.

It just is now aligned with his interest. That's too real. I'm going to say he's not in the mask. Yeah. No. No. No, Gavin Kevin you fucking idiot is that a guess?

are you done with your guess? a guess would be like are you in the well wait so you're not officially guessing you're just levying an opinion you're not asking I'm floating an idea well you're right I can't believe I looked at a picture of condor Man and didn't know it was Michael Crawford. Yeah, I can't believe I didn't know who Michael Crawford was until Emily said, wait, Phantom of the Opera?

Hello, Dolly, Michael Crawford. And I was like, maybe. And then he's like, oh, Betty. And then he's like, oh, Betty. Yeah. What a wild career, huh? He's done everything. Has he?

And his name in this is Woody, which is the same name as that guy from Cheers that was in that movie review I just gave. It was. By the time this is out, like, where do you think this lines up? Just curious. Ooh, I don't know.

Just curious about what you think. We should date this. Today is, we're recording this Friday, March 10th at 1 p.m. That, I didn't vocalize it at the the time but the fact that you remembered the character name was woody but it wasn't woody harrelson baffled me because when you're saying that i was like i remember woody harrelson was in that show but certainly he would know woody was woody harrelson so it has to be like some other side character that i don't really remember that had the name of woody it's not that

was crazy. No, I just thought it was really fucking fun. I just thought it would be very funny to refer to Woody Harrelson as Woody the guy from Cheers, not Woody Harrelson the guy from everything you've seen your entire life. Like Austin Powers. What? What do you mean?

Are we just naming movies now? That's the only thing I knew him from for a while. He's in Austin Powers? I don't remember him in Austin Powers. That's the only thing I knew him from for a while. He's in Austin Powers? I don't remember him in Austin Powers. He's Woody Harrelson. He's like when they're talking about the rocket-shaped penis. I was like, I don't know who that is, but he's got a funny name.

Secondor Man. Yeah, let's get to it, huh? I had half an episode of F*** Face at the beginning of this. Man, no kidding. Wherever you're going, you better believe American Express will be right there with you. Yeah, let's get to it, huh? I had half an episode of F*** Face at the beginning of this. Man, no kidding. Wherever you're going, you better believe American Express will be right there with you. Heading for adventure? We'll help you breeze through security.

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slash yamx. Benefits vary by card. Terms apply. So, like we did before, Condor Man, we are watching live on Amazon Prime, where you can rent it. It is not free on Amazon Prime. You can rent it. It is not free on Amazon Prime. You can rent it for...

This isn't free? I think it was like four bucks. You can also buy it for $10, but I don't know why you would do that. You can. Is this on Disney Plus? No, it is not. Oh, no.

Oh, no, Jeff. Oh, no. If we watch the old volt shit. Uh-huh. Hey, y'all. Yeah. I'm sorry if this movie's not good. Once again, I only remembered the ice cream. I'm not concerned with it, honestly, not being good.

I'm concerned about the content here with what we're about to get into. It's a Disney movie. If it was problematic, it wouldn't. if it was problematic it would if it was problematic they wouldn't put it on their streaming service yeah anyway i got this on amazon prime we'll see um so i'm gonna count down three two one now and then on now you hit play along with us and together we will watch 1981's Condor Man. Are you guys ready? This is happening right now.

Were any of you alive in 1981? No, not yet. I was not six years old. Not for another seven years. God damn. 13. All right. Here we go.

Going to watch Condor Man. Three, two, one. go. Gonna watch Condor Man 3, 2, 1, now. Yes! This film is modified from its original version. It's fucking pan and scan! Is this like the American Airlines version? What the hell is this?

You don't know my screen? Oh, it's rated PG. They did in 1981. Can you hear it? Yeah, it sounds great. This is some bootleg airline version. This is on, like, Amazon. Yeah, man. It's 4x3.

Oh, I also have captions on just in case. Oh, look at that logo. I want that as a piece of metal. I don't know. That makes me look like I've... Yeah, I would say it's kind of Nazi-ish, except they're fighting Russians this whole movie, I think, in communism.

Oh, we got animation? It looks like a weapon you pick up in Contra. Fire the Condor Man! This is the most 1980s-ass movie I've seen in a long time. Dude, this is what it was like to be a child in the 80s. Oh, it's like a real object. Oh, and it transitions. I'm shocked we're still dealing with animation.

Is that the Trump Delamont? Or the Arc de Triomphe, I mean? I have no idea. I love this font. Yeah, it's a really good font. Oliver Reed Krakow. What British sitcom was he in? Well, is it Barbara Carrera in a Bond movie? Which which one you would think gavin would know he's the fan

i don't know offhand hey is condor man really loud for anybody else is it a little bit it's very loud isn't all of a read who they like cg'd his head on after he died? What? There we go. In Star Wars? Yeah. Sorry about that. No worries. Did a goofy scream.

I'm going to look up Barbara Carrera. Is it Gene Zay, the guy that did costumes for Condor Man? So another part of this movie is animated, right? This is it? This is the only animation?

To my knowledge, yeah, I couldn't tell you. I don't think so. Are they going like Pink Panther vibes just for the beginning? She's in Never Say Never Again. Not official. It's in Disney. It's a Disney movie, so I think they're required to have some form of animation somewhere. I think they're required to have some form of animation somewhere.

Oh, Henry Mancini did the music. Oh, shit, Henry Mancini. Wow. I want the big guns. Do you think Henry Mancini did the music for a movie like this, or do you think they just went to Henry Mancini and said, what do you got that you haven't used yet? And he's like, he just thumbs through some stuff and he goes, take this one. No, I think he went deep

into the soul of Condor Man. Scream Condor Man on top of this. It'll be fine. I don't think I've seen as much of a movie without having any context for what it will be. Like, we have no, there's been no indication on what this really is. Also, where's the sides of the image?

It's a pan and scan, man. Listen, Henry made CD cost a lot of money, okay? You would have fucking hated to grow up when I was a kid. What if it's like the IMAX presentation? That idea that this was ever in IMAX. Oh, there he is. Oh, there he is. It's the real guy. What is the name of that show?

Mother's Gotta Have One. Some mothers do have them. Some mothers do have them. It's freaking expensive. Mother's Gotta Have One. Some mothers do have them. It's freaking expensive. Mothers gotta have one. Condor Man's gonna help somebody catch the bus. That's all he's good for. Wait up, wait up. What if this was coincidentally also the day that James Bond jumped off the Eiffel Tower?

It's that fucking guy He's what is right good talk Always James Hampton. There's a Darren Aronofsky version of this that is really dark. He was the dad in Teen Wolf. That's how I know him. He teaches Michael J. Fox how to be a responsible Teen Wolf.

Awesome. There's no way the guy filming down there is able to capture this with a light scene. Dude, that shit's real. That's happening. You could have been at the Eiffel Tower once and seen this shit. You could have seen Frank Spencer hovering above the Earth. They paid the licensing fee to film at the Eiffel Tower.

Oh, no. Oh. What? Was that like a little toy? What was that? He was in Sling Blade. He was in Lady Gaga featuring R. Kelly, Do What You Want.

Awesome. Can we have it louder now that the music's over? Yep. Yeah. How's that? Good. Thank you. Fine.

So he's a comic book writer. So he's a comic book writer. So he had, he's a superhero comic book writer who makes sure that any superhero stuff he, the Condorman does, he can actually do in the real world. Who cares? Yeah. Like what?

Like, why would that be a thing that you want in a superhero who gives a fuck? Well, yeah. You mentioned like reading an issue of the incredible Hulkulk and be like whoa what's realistic that's that's a yeah that's a real weird jet that far like fuck dude i want real reality in my fantasy is what i want who do you think would be the hardest superhero to be if you had to be able to do their shit in real life?

I think Elastic Man would be a real tough one. Yeah. Dr. Manhattan. Wait, do you... Thank you. Ooh. We should watch Cloak and Dagger next. It's a great movie.

It's a great movie. And it takes place in Texas. That's what he's trained to say. Yeah, I don't think he's a file clerk. He's got spy written all over him. I think he's got spy. I thought it was going to say spy HQ on the top so does he just like show up at the Eiffel Tower in a condor man suit and

buy a ticket and they just let him up the stairs oh it's that guy is heavy cast Oh, it's that guy. Dude, it's heavy cast. That's Dana Elkar. He was the guy in MacGyver. I like the way everyone looks in this movie because no one looks like movie stars. These are people I would see walking down the street.

Every single one of them. I think I know who he's gonna ask for help. Well, don't tell me. If only he knew a real-life superhero. If only. Well, hang on. Is Condorman able to deliver papers? He won't write about it unless he does. Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha! he won't write about it unless he does I love him can't get enough of him riding him looking at him big train guy him looking at him. Big train guy. Oh, he's going to show up in a... Oh, no, there he is. Oh, my God. I might hate Woody. I'm with Andrew.

Is he going for Cluser? Yeah, he he sucks Woody sucks oh man this guy's one of the best actors of his generation when around 1981 I mean he nailed the Humphrey Bogart impression

nailed it to a wall he crucified it I mean, he nailed the Humphrey Bogart impression. Nailed it to a wall. He crucified it. I really don't like Woody. If I'm a fucking cop, and I'm not, but if I were, I'd have to tell you if you asked. But if I'm a cop, that's how it fucking works. And everybody who's ever bought weed knows that. if you asked, but if I'm a cop, that's how it fucking works, and everybody who's ever bought weed knows that.

If I were a cop, if I ever saw a dude under any circumstances carrying a briefcase that was fucking handcuffed to him, I'm taking that dude in. Guarantee. It's never for a good reason. Is he gonna be the

same plot as MVP? Is he gonna fall asleep and miss a stop and like start playing hockey he's gonna end up in an animal reserve yeah he's gonna retire to the sanctuary the condor sanctuary there must have the united states must have been in a huge belly dancing craze in the 80s because when i was a kid it was a big fucking deal it was in every movie and i remember i now i just remember this because of the scene my mom took belly dancing lessons when i was a kid i remember that now what yeah i guess it was like the 80s version of Pilates or jazzercise or something but she would yeah she would she would they she and her friends took belly dancing lessons was it because the condor man it might have been it very well might have been

and that's the bond lady? Yeah, non-canon. Eonabust. Excuse me? Eonabust? Eon. He's saying Ian. Ian. Ian. Eon. saying Ian Ian Ian Ian

I love how subtle they were with their with their sexy names in James Bond Pussy Galore yeah Esme titties I watched GoldenEye the other day and that's a really good one oh with Turbo Clunch yeah that fucking Esme titties. I watched Golden Eye the other day. And that was turbo clunge. Yeah.

That fucking on a top. What a great name. Zenya on a top. Yeah, it's fucking great. I was going to recommend we do something on face at some point where we if we continue to do these kinds of things and we want to do it with some sort of regularity, I thought a fun angle to take would be to pick an actor or actress and do their entire body of work like do all of jackie chan or do all of like oh my god i don't know somebody well maybe maybe not somebody with 200 credits but like somebody

uh with an interesting body of work that we could do maybe a bad body of work but maybe it'd be fun to do all the james bond movies and And then Gavin could give us all his James Bond knowledge. I mean, I'll watch him again. Thanks, Gavin. Are there a lot of non-canon James Bond movies, or is it just like one? I think it's two, right? Casino Royale. The first one. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, the David Niven one. Yeah. Wouldn't that be the most canon? Wouldn't it? Wouldn't that be like everyone after that's not canon? Have you ever read that book,

Casino Royale? No, I haven't. No. It's a really good book. It's a real fast read james bond as written is a very different character than he is on screen is he more or less of a complete bastard uh he's a complete bastard but he's more uh fallible like you can you get a sense of his of how beat to shit he is a little bit more and not always

in control now he's just name dropping his own character i i'm with andrew i do not like this guy no there's nothing i like about this guy well he's a buffoon the drink needs to still be on fire I wonder if they ever made a Condor Man comic book to go like a companion to the movie I'll look it up what? that was awesome

still hate him? no I'm in I'm in on Woody Woody's pretty great. Woody's amazing. That would look like an optical effect. Dude, I think that there is a three-issue set of Condor Man. Oh, we need to get that.

That needs to be in the F*** Face Museum. It's like 15 bucks on eBaybay yeah we should get that i'll uh can you put that on the company credit card thanks yeah i'll grab it i'm back to not liking this guy i was just thinking it would be fun to take those condor men comics and have somebody redraw them, but we change it to Andrew. I feel like I should be insulted. Why? You get to be a fucking superhero. Who anything Condor Man can do in real life, you know Michael Crawford can do in real life.

And if he can do it, you can do it. I think that's about a butt. He's doing his own stunts. Yeah. Who needs Jackie Chan? Those are good hits, man. Dude, that is a gorgeous restaurant these sequences are fun yeah

that's not gonna feel good I Looney Tunes in real life is like my wheelhouse and this is great I'm having so much fun my espresso machine takes like 25 seconds before it's doing that. He looks like shit.

Look at him. I'll do my best to avoid that try to avoid did you adopt that Jeff after watching do you have a try to avoid list I'll do my best not to end up there yeah my try

my try to avoid list is prison oh but he dropped them earlier. There's gotta be some sort of mix-up. Yeah. Yeah. Also, was the briefcase locked? Like, he's handcuffed to it, but I don't think

the briefcase itself is locked or secure in any way. Oh, damn! Score! itself is locked or secure in any way. Oh, damn. Score. I'm going to have so much to write about. A British an American

comic book artist falls in love with a Russian spy in Istanbul. That's a story you tell your grandkids. It's cool because in his comic now condor man can do all that stuff yeah condor man can kiss a girl now finally it's like 12 episode arc

condor man gets lucky condor man goes from restaurant to restaurant and kisses Russian supermodels. Oh, shit. oh shit I always wonder how long they've sat there right like in this moment in movies along he was asleep does he sit down there

and he pours himself the drink and then he's like it looks so much cooler with the drink I'll just I can't drink it I'll just have to hold it until she shows up it's hot

yeah that's the truth you said it sister preach to the converted. Is that Oliver Reed? Oliver Reed. Fuck, I navigated to eBay. Hold on.

Yeah, that's Krokov. That's Oliver Reed. You know him? I just know that he died in the filming of Gladiator. Oh, really? Oh, really? I don't think he died. He didn't die because of it. What?

Did he die? Did he die? He died during the filming of, but not related to. Is that what you're saying? Yeah, I think they had to spend millions of dollars, like, CG-ing his face onto someone else. To finish his role. I wonder if that's his most... They did that back in Gladiator times?

Wow. Yeah, I think that's why it was so expensive. That's a great joke there, Andrew. Yeah, Gladiator. Gladiator was the second to last thing he was in. He was also in Oliver in 1968. That's probably his most well-known role. I have purchased Condor Man Comics issues one, two, and three.

Thank you so much, Eric. Oh, he was also in a movie. We might need to. Oh, Lord. also in a movie. We might need to. Oh, Lord. We might have a new movie on our hands. He was in a 1980 movie called Dr. Heckle and Mr. Hype, an ugly, misshapen podiatrist.

This is for you, Gavin. Ingests a formula made by a colleague and turns into a handsome devil-may-care but violent ladies' man. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hype. An ugly... He was the bad guy in Condor Man, and then he was an ugly podiatrist. Condor Man's a lefty. I even wish you were talented. do you think that's his hand

I used to who Michael Crawford's hand yeah oh definitely at some point you get old enough to kind of give up on talent it's just like

even if I still had it it'd be worthless at this point in my life laser lady laser lady this guy's a fucking dork how about the fact that a dude threw

a switchblade knife at him and it would have killed him but he stopped it and then he just walked it off like, yeah, it's another Wednesday. It's a pretty echoey room. Stop saying condor man that's just some good trivia this guy's gonna get his ass kicked he's not a real duck is he explaining the concept of fiction kicked. The duck is not a real duck. Is he explaining the concept of fiction? Oh, man.

That's another thing that the 80s was full of. I don't know if you guys remember, but it was always a Russian trying to defect to America, trying to flee communism to the freedom of America. Red October style? Yeah, or that Moscow on the Hudson, or that movie with Gregory Hines and the dude where they danced. Good.

Then there wouldn't be a sequel. How do we get that jumper? Oh, you know, I was going to say earlier, we all need spy jackets like he had on, but maybe we just all need that sweater. It,

it looks like he beat up the world's biggest kindergartner for that. Yeah. go for a boy it's interesting that that for a boy. It's interesting that that like weaselly unattractive little voice is one of the best like musical theater voices of its generation.

You should hear him as Frank Spencer and some others do have a voice. Is it like is it very accent heavy? Yeah, you'd love it. That's a great tagline. Out of the inkwell and into real life. bear laser lady laser lady is the bear laser lady is the bear

i wish that was what she's credited as like the actress like natalia aka the bear aka laser lady Wait, is this guy British? The main guy? Yeah. Yeah. Is he? Well, in real life, he is. Oh.

Hence being in that British sitcom I was talking about. Well, here's the thing. I didn't know that. He's just been doing American shit here. He's clearly wearing British sweaters. The Phantom of the Opera is British shit, isn't it? I don't know. I've never seen Phantom of the thing. I didn't know that. He's just been doing American shit here. He's clearly wearing British sweaters. The Phantom of the Opera is British shit, isn't it? I don't know. I've never seen Phantom of the Opera. I saw it.

It's good. I saw it in the original place. It's British. Right, but he's British. He's British. No, but Condor Man's American. Woody is American. Woody is an American.

He's playing a character. If you want to roll it back a little bit, his buddy explains the concept of fiction. We need a refresher. Andrew, did you know this guy was British? Yeah. I had no idea. I assume so.

Well, when he was in some of your mother's album or whatever the fuck you have to be. Mama needs one bad. That's what made me look it up because you guys were talking about it and I went, oh, that's weird that there's an American in a show that sounds like that

and he's not American. The most British guy in the world. Where's Yugoslavia now? What is that now? That's where the Yugo was made. No. uh that's where they the yugo is made no dude that guy's fucking old-timey lost him oh it's uh serbia and montenegro okay have you ever been to to Serbia or Montenegro, Gavin? I have not. I haven't either.

I think Serbia is a great name. Serbia is a good name. I think it's cool because the people are Serbs. And I think that's a very... It's just very... Like, consonant heavy. I agree. It's fun to say. This guy's like a pre-Serb.

This guy's pre-Serb. Is this not Woody? Oh, is it? Oh, it's Woody. I think this is Woody. He fooled us. I was fooled. Oh, the bear was hiding in the cave.

Wow. It was the nose that fooled me. Y'all didn't even know he was British, let alone an old man. He also kidnaps Christine Daae. He's actually more likable with that face. You should just keep that. I like this character more.

Now that I know he's British, he sounds like he's doing an American accent. Like, it sounds like a guy who's not American I feel like fucking British people have so much more success doing American accents than American people do have doing British accents I'm always so surprised

you're like I watched all of the wire never knowing McNulty was British yeah and like half the cast is or fucking or what's his name in Walking Dead? Oh, yeah. When you watch Love Actually and you're like, what the fuck? Yeah. I think it's because there's only, like, there's like two American accents.

It's default American and Southern American. But then a British accent is like, oh, you don't sound like you're from the North. And it's like, I don't know what that means. Let's fucking call up Krakow. What kind of accent was that? What the hell? He's got a tummy cane? He's gonna shoot the bear. How many bullets are in that thing?

He's fucking laughing. He just killed his girlfriend. He's laughing. How has this never been a gif? Because the world is largely forgotten about Condor, man. It was lying dormant waiting for us to rediscover it. That's so bad. Is this the first movie where the ice cream's better than the movie? How many movies have an ice cream, though?

That's the problem. That's a good point Commitment to shoot on location in this movie this could not have been cheap. Oh fuck now. I gotta look that up box-office mojo. Steering mechanism. There is... No information on how much money this movie made. Was he the first Brit to be a superhero?

An American superhero, I mean. An American superhero. Like, it's kind of the norm now, but... What about... I'm not sure, like, the canon era Captain America movies and, like, those superhero... Spider-Man. I don't know who was in those. He kind of looks like that dude that plays

the great American hero. He does. I can't think of his name, but... He was also in Big Wednesday, which is one of the best movies. Monte Carlo. There's an F1 race there. Is that the one that's in the street? I don't know.

Condor Man. Too sentimental. It's hard to have less than two men he said that like two men was a lot I had two men following them like it's essentially the minimum how should he have phrased it a man and a spare no yeah I had double man

they were double coverage They were double coverage Man It's amazing we made it to the internet It was a fucking Slow inefficient world Before God damn Oh shit That dude's got a mercury eyeball God damn.

Oh, shit. That dude's got a mercury eyeball. I don't think that will ever be referenced again, which is why I like it so much. It puts such an emphasis on a thing that I think is actually meaningless. You don't think it'll fly out at some point? No, I think that's it. I don't think we'll ever see that again.

I'm going to jam my dick off when that eye flies out. I think that's it. I don't think we'll ever see that again. I'm going to tear my dick off when that eye flies out. Everyone you're looking at right now is probably dead. Oh, Jesus. Well, maybe not that kid. Kids are fine. Those dudes dead.

That was 40 years ago. I need to be 108. What is happening? This just got real sad. It's Condor Man. Are they all looking at Condor? Yes. Is he going to show up?

Wings and all? A somber scene as they see Condor Man. This is a really... They're building the Condor, man. I'm telling you. You'll be flying by. Okay. Maybe they just don't ever hear vehicles.

That's the condor bell. They're waiting for the school bell. The donkey! The donkey! That's... Wow. That's a lot of Porsches. That's fucking expensive. That's not cheap. And that Porsche has sonar.

Oh, the eye! We just don't get to know. It's a lot of choreography work to be part of this organization. Alright, come on. That's pretty cool. That was pretty cool. Much less impressive. I hate him so much.

Back to hating this guy. Yeah. His accent's all over the place. It's like if Dick Van Dyke's character in Mary Poppins tried to do an American accent. That's the perfect... It looks like he's driving a car from Wacky Races. His co-pilot's snidely whiplash. Yeah, it's like the Ant Hill mob gang is about to get him. look at these awesome cars yeah this is great they're about to take out peter perfect and penelope pit stop

look at this fucking thing. It's the caveman. It's Captain Caveman. This is really hitting me in the childhood. Oh, God. god yeah all these references oh she's dead oh shit if you put the Park Naviage in Fast and Furious

They would maybe be the best villain in the franchise They're great This is kind of like the opening scene of the first Fast and the Furious Yeah If you consider they're the semi-truck If that was filled with VCRs It's the same DVD players.

What is happening? Wait, what? Yes! Yes! It is a vehicle for wacky racers. Yes! Shouldn't one of them have stayed up there? It's got green light technology.

They are, oh boy. Just hit any of those buttons, dickhead. Oh! Okay, that's pretty cool. Kind of a single-use thing, but that's pretty neat. I want

one of those so bad. You're telling me that car was pulling a house for that long? Were they sat on the roof? They were in the above part, yeah. Why not just make the cab of the fake van the real car?

I hope that they slip down into another one underneath this one you're telling me that with technology like this this guy was concerned about what Condor Man could and could not do for his comic get real

you see where Batman stole all his ideas his comic. Yeah. Get real. You see where Batman stole all his ideas. Is that the rollable font? That'd be awesome if it was. Dedicated to killing. They gave a commitment ring to killing they gave a commitment ring to killing

part of their organization this is like not easy to film or coordinate this is very cool where do you get three log trucks from probably Oregon. Yeah. Wow.

This is great. This is better than bullet. Dude, I would turn that jet engine on just like we used to do in GTA and blow those motherfuckers motherfuckers blow those motherfuckers halfway across the airport.

Oh, he did. Oh! Get cooked! He screams, you motherfuckers! Whoa! Oh, shit! Oh my god! That's gonna be hard to walk away from.

God damn. That's going to be hard to walk away from. Frickin' hell. They spent all the money on the second unit. I'm going to get a Condorman tattoo. Write that down. Condorman tattoo. I got my phone. Get Condorman tattoo.

Jump! Uh-oh. Oh, is it Repco? Oh, shit. It is! Whoa! Wow! Fast and Furious got all their ideas from Condor Man.

Yep. No shit, dude. This is essentially GTA Online. Itta online that's the car i would drive we have them i bet it costs like 12 million gta dollars yeah that's the fucking worst hey just get the card oh there's the eye that uh I couldn't afford to film that for real, this shot. What happened there? What was that? Excuse me? Okay.

Oh. He just did, like, 18 grand's worth of damage. He's just getting started. How did his bumper get back on? Fuck that tree specifically That must have been insane to time that shot Mm-hmm. You know, I gotta say,

I laughed at it initially, but that guy is a dedicated killer. Show the eye again. Yeah. He's my ex-boyfriend. I mean... I told him it was over, but he won't take no for an answer. He's useless can you imagine being in a a rural yugoslavian town and then fucking space cars with dudes with silver eyes just roll through one day it would fuck the rest of your life up well i think you'd be like what is going on out there

that's how like tall tales like that's how like were'd be like, what is going on out there? That's how tall tales... That's how werewolves... It's just stories about this stuff, technology you've never seen before that blows your mind in a way where the whole country is different now. Do you think this is how... Do you think this is how Transformers started? They tell stories and you can slivey about,

it was a bird, but it was a car. Oh, yeah, baby. That's a fucking stunt. The only thing we've seen him do as Condor Man, though, is almost drown. Yeah. That is true. See, it's Transformers! Transformers!

Dude. Take a chill pill. God damn. The gypsy truck turned into a race car i hate when that happens oh he's covering the eye now He's tired after that blow. Imagine how pissed you would be if Condor Man kept fucking you over and then you had to read comics about it.

Like, follow-up. Look at him with his little S&M writing crop. He'll give you a little spank. You did a no-no. You're a real bad spy boy. A little stinker. Bend over the table. Do you think he spanked Borovich's eye out?

Do you think he spanked him so hard as I popped out? Do you think he's committed to murder in the same way as everybody else? Is that like a general thing? Or is that like a squad? Why are they climbing a mountain? I guess they have to, is the idea, but it's just like... Yeah, did that boat crash? Yeah, did they run out of gas, or...

No, they were just in a boat. Can it not reconvert back to a car after it's a boat? Ha ha ha! boat how they can they built a car that's six different cars and didn't include a phone. How do they not have a phone? They hadn't even dreamed up of that kind of technology yet Crouch more The police emo She's just freshening up next to the dung pile hmm that dude's got a chin strap. but didn't he actually kill a bunch of people

with his stick yeah he also blew a bunch of people in cars up by setting them on fire he's killed at least 10 guys yeah I would think so

at this point it's pretty hot for a Disney movie yeah he's approaching Terminator 2 numbers He's killed at least 10 guys. Yeah, I would think so. At this point. It's pretty high for a Disney movie. Yeah, he's approaching Terminator 2 numbers. How many double digit body counts Disney movies are there? That's a great question. Oh, man. What kind of fucking joke parody character is this?

He's got one of those whips, too. It's actually Colin Farrell. The prosthetics are amazing. I didn't notice him for most of the movie. Oh, that's his friend, huh? Oh my god, it's the guy he works with! It's Harry! You should always yell his real name. You get real excited you should see what it turns into how the fuck are all three of them gonna

sit in in two rows of a car handcuffed laughing rows of a car handcuffed. Wait, are they still? Why would they still be handcuffed? Why wouldn't he undo the handcuffs? Because people are watching him. Yeah, man.

Look at all those eyes one lady walks by that's it it's an empty village can you imagine how fucking great it must have been to be Michael Crawford and this lady for the three months they filmed this movie in some of the most beautiful locations on earth with zero

expectations of this movie be good yeah really like zero expectations. Do you think at any point Michael Crawford or anybody in this film thought like this is going to make me?

That's like that Fiat we drove to Scotland, Gavin. So we almost died in. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Gavin so we almost died in yeah you know he's Michael Crawford's kind of dressed like Shrek you're right there's a real Shrek feel to that especially with all the hay and shit there's no time there's no time there's no time I don't understand. He's got an eye patch on because he doesn't want to draw attention

to his silver eye, I would imagine. Yeah. But if you don't want to draw attention to your silver eye, just don't get a silver eye. I mean, don't you get a silver eye to kind of show it off and be like, hey, I'm the silver eye guy. Maybe that's just how it is.

Yeah. Different time, I guess. Yeah. Probably sunglasses would have worked what oh my god if this fucking happens when Emily and I get married you guys better not pull any condor man pranks at my wedding. I'm calling no condor man pranks during my wedding.

We're doing this condor man speech word for word in the middle of your ceremony. Uncle Luigi. oh my god everybody in this town hates each other I was just looking for an excuse Oh my god, the bitties! Oh, lady fight! Everybody in this town hates each other. I was just looking for an excuse. This wedding was on the brink the whole time. They're gonna settle some scores.

That kid is so happy. That is the best fucking way to... Oh my god. Zowie! That is the best fucking way to... Oh my god. Zowie! Is he freaking... Oh. I wish. Comic books are so expensive now.

When is he having time to make these, though? These are old. He's a famous comic book artist. It's true condor man would never do something this guy wouldn't do in real life like cross the alps these wipes are awesome they're pretty jaunty wipes yeah the angles

definitely interesting The angles. Definitely interesting. How far are we into this? 70 minutes, roughly, of a 90-minute movie? And we've had one scene of him in the condor suit. I am shocked by the lack of condors. It's the opening scene. I think we saw more animated Condor Man than him as Condor

Man. These kids reading Condor Man comics to. This would have been a way better movie if they just cast Stanley as Condor Man. We've been there, G, dickhead.

You go feel it, buddy. It's going to go in the bathroom and feel it for a while. Did he even bring the condor suit? No. He doesn't, like, have a bag. The CIA will provide it for him when he needs it. Where are they supposed to be now?

Swiss Alps, right? Switzerland? Yeah. Thanks to climate change, that area looks like the Saharan desert now, though. It's a shame. Fucking, is that laser lips? Laser lips? Is that really laser lips? Laser lips?

Is that really laser lips? What's her name? Laser lady? Laser lady. You're right. All these little Swedish American kids. Yeah, what do these Americans come for? They've been written in English. She's really hung up on the O.

The name. I thought she was staring at the A. she's really hung up on the oh the name I thought she was staring at the a you will not believe what I felt I felt it I felt it hard I felt it. I felt it. Arrgh. Wait, is the last act conflict that she's in a comic and doesn't know about it? I don't know. go for boy really he's gonna disappear you don't go on that

walk he's going to disappear you. Don't go on that walk. He's dedicated to murder. Should we? All right. I'm going to do some future prognosticating okay okay i i'm envisioning a future where the face podcast is as successful as let's say joe rogan podcast like that level where we've got our 100 million dollar deal and we're we're flying pretty high right uh do you think we could at that point when we're that pretty high, right? Do you think we could, at that point, when we're that successful,

recreate, like retrace the steps of Condorman as content, and just like follow his path throughout Europe? Try to find all the locations. You're picking like the least popular thing that we could follow. Like if you, like, oh oh batman like dark knight or something at least that's popular that nobody is nobody knows what the fuck this is exactly and isn't

that the most face thing we could do but what about the comics we need to find the what if we tried to recreate those like how comics are based in reality what if we made those comics real yeah because to prove the thesis of the movie yes that condor man would only do things that are doable in real life so then we have to do all the things from the movie to prove that condor man was a true uh was up was a potentially possible film what do you think the comics are just the movie and comic book form or are they completely different stories i so i bought them but i didn't look into what exactly they are because I kind of want it to be a surprise. Yeah, I can't find out.

Yeah, right. We'll do it live. Because if it's not the movie, if it is like The Adventures of Condor Man, that's insane. I think it is. I think it is. That's what I would assume it would be. I'll be so disappointed if it's just the movie. I feel like there's no way it's not just the movie you think it'll be a comic book of the movie about a guy that writes comic books about what's happening in the movie with kids reading that

comic book yes now gavin you moved from a different country to amer. Was one of the main perks being able to read the Sunday funnies? Was that one of the things that drew you to the U.S.? Can you share her enthusiasm? Were you reading Andy Kapp and going, I gotta get over that old U.S. thing? Oh my gosh. Gotta go work in an American office like Kathy. What's he wearing now?

It's his snow gear, man. He looks like the bottom half of one of those flappy car sales things. He does. This relationship is so fucking doomed if you draw the line out. you think about like you know she just had that moment where she's like well if woody is condor man and i'm laser lips and you're whatever a gopher boy she now realizes she's gonna pick up the car she's gonna be like they're gonna

be married five years down the road and she's gonna pick up the comic and it's gonna be fucking condor man talking to his buddy at the bar about what a bitch his wife is and how he just wants to get away what a way to learn about an affair she's gonna find out he's having an affair and leaving her reading a comic one sunday morning yeah that makes it easier it makes it less high wait they're only taking one why do they unpack one there's already one hanging there oh my god what the fuck i'm with gopher boy. I don't trust. It's got. It's got the brakes of a Schwinn bicycle.

It's a 12 speed. Why is he pointing like this way? There one way you go one way there's no other path follow the path of the rockets taking you on oh so slowly how many pages of the Condor Man comic book is this sequence it's most of episode 2 it's volume 2 it's volume 2

it's gopher man okay gopher boy whatever his name is the gopher man okay gopher boy whatever his name is the gopher dude Romanoff is looking no that's Romanoff is looking fucking good can you imagine if this movie just ended

with him killing all three of them take the shot dad that movie's over Can you imagine if this movie just ended with him killing all three of them at the same time? Take the shot! Dad, that movie's over. Ah! Oh, shit! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh!

God, you missed that! Oh! Oh no! I must have been losing my fucking mind at six years old. That was incredible. I would love to see little me experience this. Oh my God. And what a great opportunity to pull out the wings. I must have been so excited about ice cream at this point. He got Condor Man crunched.

That was... Yeah. Oh, she's sad. He's making a look at the body. I told you I was dedicated to killing. How did they do that? How did they film that? It's just there are like no tracks around them whatsoever.

It's just two perfect holes where they must have just dropped them. That's pretty incredible. Oh good. He's fucking, he's beyond What if Harry just had an arm off? Oh. Oh. Oh no, she's in a nice place. They're really torturing her. Your punishment is to sleep in this gilded golden bed.

... he's gonna hit her with a chair imagine if he just never tried to save her and she found out because new issues a condor man kept coming out. so do you remember how this ends jeff uh i've remembered zero seconds of this okay uh that's not true that's not true i remembered the eiffel tower part do do we think the condor suit will appear again yeah i think it has i. I think it's going to appear. How far into this are we? Like 80 minutes? 75 minutes? I think it's going to appear very soon. If the condor suit doesn't knock out that dude's eye,

I'm going to be blue ballsed in two directions. Maybe you should take a few minutes to go to the bathroom and feel things. He's got an endless supply of sweaters are those condor man ideas I think so things that I know I can do now yeah uh-oh. Oh, he's good.

What a relief. Eric, whenever we want something for the show, just say you have top-ranked clearance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That includes Fort Knox. Yeah. You got to add that part. I have top clearance including Fort Knox I feel like Fort Knox

was a really important thing until like the mid 90s and then everyone went I think we're over this yeah I think so well we became with the exception of Joel everybody was kind of

got over the idea of having to own 10 billion pounds of gold to be wealthy hey I'm not sure about pounds of gold to be wealthy. Hey, I'm not sure about this section of the movie. It's a lot of briefcases. Those guys are all condor men on their next assignment.

I think... I think you might be right. I think it's definitely Harry. I'm hearing... I'm feeling some definite Harry gopher man action. You think that's them? I think that's them. Oh, I know a gopher when I see one. Oh, I can sense a gopher.

His name is Jed Clampett. And the younger man with him, that's his cousin Jethro. Very new money. Oh, great trivia here about Oliver Reed. One night after too many alcoholic drinks, Oliver Reed tossed his tuxedo into the sea from a Monte Carlo hotel room. What's going on? What?

What? What the fuck? What? This is, uh, why it's not on disney plus then eh caesar's salads worth oh god see do you think they tried to figure out how to edit this out and keep the movie i don't let's see when they could when they could have cut back in yeah these feel like vince mcmahon characters to me oh big time these guys are both going for the Intercontinental Championship. That was great. Was that the most funny movie?

This movie needed way more of that slapsticky kind of stuff. Yeah. That's really funny. The moments that had it were great, but they were just too few. Shame about every single other thing in that scene. I like some of the flower arrangements. God, they must have been on set for days dressed like this.

Oh god. Oh boy. Uh, beg my pardon, but I've been inside you. This is so bad! Oh! Oh! Choose love. Jesus.

Fucking hell. this was uh this is essentially how they tried to get uh harry to go back into the woods at the end of Harry and the Hendersons. It's true. John Lithgow's like, nobody loved you. Go away. We hate you. We hate you, Harry. We don't want you here. That's heartbreaking. Is that code? Yeah, was that... Did we miss something?

She's referencing the episode of Condorman, the dip in Dostoevsky. Jesus. Jesus. Ridiculous. Jesus. Nick, whenever he hears there's a condiment at the thing. Oh, fuck. Jesus. Ridiculous. Jesus. Nick, whenever he hears there's a condiment at the thing... Oh, fuck!

Jesus! What? What? Condor Man's racking up more of the body count. Kill them all, Condor Man! Let God sort them out! It's the Disney way! But first get changed, maybe. Yeah, please. Yeah, please change. We miss Woody. First get changed maybe yeah, please please change When this woody

Is he got the condor boots on oh man right other side that is another very nice car kilt oh jesus that was a good dive yeah you would be embarrassed for me. History won't be kind to me.

For his like, you know, stop and go is like a lot of this movie is. The stunts and car racing stuff and everything are awesome. Yeah, really good. Yeah, the cars, especially. Oh, shit. Wow. They bought the shoe in it. Oh, pull up the suit.

Wings! Do it! Wings! Pull up the wings! Oh, he's got the gloves! Do it! Yes! Yeah! Yes! Dude, those gloves are just like kitchen gloves. Yeah! Imagine that this was the thing you saw you've never seen it before and this guy's like I got oh it's gonna put on the beacon glasses so we can cut back in

here if we do miss a little. Hell yeah! Fly, Condor Man, fly. Holy shit. How do they do that? All practical effects, too. Is he going to have an attack falcon? I'd like to see him wind up.

Maybe we should start a competing company that's protected by condors and compete against ourselves So we're definitely a Birds of Prey podcast now Alright, back out of the movie Back in It's all fine we're fine good it's rules look at that shot

it's amazing banco de roma back out yeah dude dude how fucking cool you're laying on top of what are you talking about she'd have to literally jump off

this is all fine. It's still good. It's dicey, dicey. And we're back out of the film. Yeah, better to leave this all out. Yeah, we're going to cut this. And... We are... And Harry's back, baby! We're back, baby! Who cares?

Yeah, it's rolling. It's not your fucking car! Oh! No way! Why? You think that car is still at the bottom of that water? You know they didn't have to clean shit up as much in the 80s. It's definitely still down there. She held on for much longer.

His face. Oh, that's helpful. He's waving him in. He's bringing it in like he's a fucking American Airlines 737. Got an Ember Air coming in for landing. This is gonna either look great or utter dog shit.

Oh, the little leg kicks too? It was great. Wow. Why would you leave your wings? Why? CIA's got an unlimited budget. He's got four knots at his disposal. Definitely want to be safe though I thought he was going to bang his head on the visor.

That would have been a perfect Condor Man slapstick moment. When we do our fan remake Condor Man 2024, we're definitely going to ratchet up the slapstick. Imagine if Batman just changed out of his suit and left it all over a dock. Oh yeah.

A condor boat. These all feel like toys that they never made. Like we got to have the car we got to have the boat. Oh that's a good point. It's like this whole movie was made

for a happy male integration yeah that thing looks like a nightmare to be in it is bouncing all over the place he can only answer the phone with his eye out it helps with the reception.

It starts as a Wi-Fi hot. Yeah. Oh, is it the five black boats? Were they just there the whole time? Are they always there? Like, what was the... How did this happen? Finally.

What a miserable day of filming that probably was. That's fucking cool. Hell yeah, look at this. That's awesome yeah look at this that's awesome this is beautiful it's a genuinely fast boat some genuinely good cinematography I wonder where the condor boat is now like someone must have that

it belongs in a museum I'll tell you that. Why? Oh. What? They got a condor gun. What? They got a condor laser gun. Oh, dude.

Oh my god, he. Oh, my God. He's killing so many people. If he had that kind of laser technology the whole time, I feel like he could have wrapped this up 45 minutes ago. Without the use of his previous costume. How come Laser Lady isn't shooting the lasers? That's a great point. 45 minutes ago. Without the use of his previous costume. Where's... How come Laser Lady isn't shooting the lasers? That's a great point.

If there was ever a time for Laser Lady... Has she ever used or mentioned a laser? No. No. Imagine staying at some Swiss resort and seeing the shit on the lake outside. Like, man, Monte Carlo's really got the shit. Oh, God.

He's shot. Oh, that's brutal. Like a full-blown war movie. Those dudes are melted to that boat. Oh, that boat had a visibility spout. We should try or maybe a comet leader would do it.

To go through and try to accurately count Condor Man's body count. That stunt guy could have done such a cool dive away from that explosion, but he just plopped off Like he was jumping into a pool Fuck the shore

Laser You know this was in 1981 Laser Laser guns were so fucking popular back then yeah here we are in 2023 and i don't i don't see army movies where army dudes and marines are shooting lasers yet like what what's the fucking hold up yeah lasers should come back we need more lasers oh oh yeah i I split it. That was crazy

Oh My god He's killed like 35 zero moral cost on that murder at all Can you imagine the ecological damage that shot did? Uh oh. It's the lasers of the general. It's King Porsche. Krokov's always hiding around somewhere.

That was a crazy shot. Why? They're getting soaked. Krokov looks like one of the dudes on the... He looked with that helmet on. He looks like one of the dudes at the helm in Spaceballs. Surrounded by assholes. And dead fish Jesus oh my god oh no

oh no yeah but they fucked up the sunshade the sky lift oh please tell me the boat has wings. This boat can only turn right now. This is just GTA. You're absolutely right. This is GTA Online.

We have done every one of these stunts in a Let's Play. If he bounces off a wave and gets hooked, that's GTA. Fucking Christ. That's one of the things I'm most proud of. Oh, damn. Now that's a dive. That's a hell of a stunt. Oh no! Oh no!

Jesus! Jesus the meatiest explosions in any Disney movie wow I never saw that guy's eye pop out all your friends are dead Dodger Stadium big Dodger fan

alright look at him go is condo man gonna fly down and land on the field he would be a Dodgers fan no kidding he wrote into an episode last week that condo man hit a home run now he's gonna make it happen do you think Michael Crawford has any idea what the

dodges are do you think Michael Crawford has any memory of making this movie welcome Natalia. A.K.A. The Bear, A.K.A. CIA. Oh, USA, USA. 1981 World Series was Dodgers-Yankees.

This movie came out in August. Oh, God. Do... Dodgers Yankees this movie came out in August do are we setting up Condor Man 2 that's a good point assassinate Condor Man pack of cigarettes That's a good point. Assassinate Condor Man. Pack of cigarettes. Cigarettes. Oh, we'll have to wait and see.

Oh, we'll have to wait and see. Where is Condor Man supposed to go? I'll tell you where he's going to go. He's going to go into the Condor Man fan fiction. We start writing. Yeah. There are no credits. No, they did at the front.

All the credits were front loaded. It simply ended. That. Well, you know what? First off, I was really nervous that this movie wasn't going to it wasn't going to be as entertaining. It wasn't going to hold up to the two phenomenal films you guys already brought to the table.

But let me just say you're welcome. Yeah, that was awesome. A perfect end to like our childhood trilogy. I think that was fantastic. I totally agree. So good that and that's a great way to put our childhood trilogy. I think that was fantastic. I totally agree. So good. And that's a great way to put it. Our childhood trilogy. There you go.

Well, did everybody eat all their ice cream? Because it'd be a barely soupy mess now. Yeah, no, it is a soupy mess. Do you think Condor Man went to Baskin Robbins? Do you think that's where the it was the lead into the Condor Man crunch? I would love to know how successful that promotion was.

Gavin is just sending us clips of some mothers do have them. Get a feel for the voice. His accent. What? What? Are you kidding me? This is a mess. It's Frank Spencer. this is a mess it's frank spencer frank spencer no way that's woody that's condor man baby

what a mess well uh jeff andrew gavin any parting words i can't believe going from that to some others do i have him to the ph of the Opera. That might be the greatest range I've ever seen from one human man. Pretty impressive. Pretty impressive. I'm glad that we got to celebrate the many talents of Michael Crawford today. And remember what was a mostly bright moment in the history, in Disney's rich film history, with just about 12 minutes there that are a little less than stellar. Well, I'm glad we did it. Yeah, I'm glad we did it, too.

Thank you so much. And I really appreciate y'all taking a trip down memory lane with me through my childhood. Unfortunately, no monkeys, not a lot of Kung Fu, but we did have Birds of Prey and we are a Birds of Prey podcast. I have a question to you, though. If this completes our childhood trilogy, what's next? I mean, are we just going to try and out-problematic your film?

No. No. Why would that be the angle we went? We could. Of all the choices, why would we go there? We could just keep going backwards into Disney if you want to do that.

Oh, I'm out. I don't want to do it. Well, stay tuned. We'll come up with something. Bye. We will. Bye. We will. Bye.