Regulation Podcast - Flipping Coins for Rubbish // Andrew Tries the Cosmic Crisp [81]

Episode Date: December 15, 2021

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about the Kevin Mccallister universe, Minor League Fan Jack, cleaning stuff up, elevator key mishaps, and Andrew eats a Cosmic Crisp (twice?) Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to [e-mail] Sponsored by HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/face14 and use code face14) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I would love to see if a tortilla in Canada tastes similar to a tortilla in Texas. Or if they are the exact same thing or two wildly different things. Like when Gavin and I had Mexican food in Norway. I don't even know how to describe it wasn't that the netherlands yeah i'm sorry the netherlands is the netherlands it was a bretta netherlands yeah i don't think i've been to norway yeah it was i don't think i have either actually but if i do go it's gonna be with you and it's gonna be to eat mexican food when we're gonna do a whole series about bad Mexican food called Mexicant? Yeah.

Where we travel. We were going to call it Mexicant or the worst Mexican restaurants on earth. Yeah. That would be up there. That would be. Well, it's definitely my top three worst Mexican food. It's just a lot of shitting, which is this show. I feel like the core of that show is just this show.

It's a lot of Jeff shitting. In unfortunate ways. Yeah. lot of shitting which is this show i feel like the core of that show is just this show it's a lot of jeff shitting and unfortunate wise yeah we i got a burrito at that place because it's like you gotta like what's safer than a burrito not much right uh and it had chickpeas in it i remember that it's very confused by that and i want to say it is a burrito with chickpeas which don't exist in burrito form ever and i want to say it had celery as well. It was fucking bizarre. You think a burrito is safer than a quesadilla? I would say the quesadilla is safer. I would say the quesadilla is the safest Mexican food.

I would say quesadilla is safer, but I don't think it's as universally available. Really? I don't think it was on the menu. Yeah, I don't think they've ever heard of a quesadilla in the Netherlands. No, I don't think so. Huh. That's interesting. Have you ever wondered, like, what is the best restaurant that a different country has

of a different country's cuisine? Like, what's the best Italian restaurant in China? Right, right. Or, like, how the Indian foodondon is so fucking good in my experience really what would be the very best of the yeah or like the thai food in australia oh my god so good there i remember anthony bourdain said that like the worst place to get a place's staple food is that place like the philadelphia is the worst place to get a cheesesteak like it's just shitty like the their surrounding areas that are way better type deal i don't know italian food in

italy is pretty damn great yeah i feel like that's a tough one i'm not i'm not i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm comfortable taking on the philly cheesesteak i'm not gonna take on italian food as a whole in italy that's too big i don't know man The best Philly cheesesteaks I've ever had have definitely come from Philly. Where have you gotten Philly cheesesteaks from outside of Philly? Is this something you've explored? Quiz notes?

I mean, I'm 46, so probably like only 100,000 times throughout my life. I would say a Philly cheesesteak's been more of a staple to my life than a quesadilla. Really? Oh, I would...

No, I disagree. I don't think I've ever had a Philly cheesesteak. I've my life than a quesadilla. Really? Oh, I would not disagree. I don't think I've ever had a Philly cheesesteak. I've had a lot of quesadillas. I like that you disagreed with Jeff's own experience. Yeah, I did. Well, no, he said, I thought he was making a general opinion on like what is more, what is wider. I thought he was talking about his actual life, where the Philly cheesesteak was the

biggest staple. You're like, I disagree. I disagree. talking about his actual life where the where the uh philly cheesesteak was the biggest staple well there's sometimes you know things and you don't even know you know them that's been a thing that's happened recently i don't know if we want to go into that story i had gavin and i were talking about a thing and i knew a piece of information that i didn't know that i knew and i accidentally said the thing. I revealed it. We had the most bizarrely circular conversation that ended up with us just, like, leaving the party chat. And, uh, we got sent for a ways.

Real quick. Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Front Face Podcast. My name is Jeff Ramsey. With me, as always, uh, Andrew Panton and Gavin Free, in that order. Uh, take it away. Take it away. Circular conversations. We were, well, why don't we, let's open this with the same conversation we started with, Gavin. I don't know if you've had this talk.

Have you had this talk with Jeff? Have you asked him this piece of trivia? Well, no. If it's not on camera, he hasn't. But you have to go back a little bit further than that, because you just randomly asked me, do you have any movie recommendations? Okay. So I thought, well, you've seen a lot of stuff.

So I thought, what's a movie that I like that maybe not a lot of people I know have seen? And I came up with A Fish Called Wanda. Which I haven't seen. Good movie. Haven't seen. Good movie. Good sequel, Heavenly Creatures as well. Fierce Creatures.

Fierce Creatures, yeah. haven't seen good movie good sequel heavenly creatures as well fierce creatures the uh fierce creatures yeah that got us into the conversation of the man the legend uh kevin klein i was saying like i don't i what was my point i think it was like i don't see him in anything anymore like i don't feel like yeah i don't feel like i just see him in things and i'm sure he's in a lot yeah he i feel like like he's known for just turning down so much stuff. Oh, really? But I think, I mean, the most recent stuff he's in is he's Mr. Fish Odor in Bob's Burgers.

Yes. Which is current. But then I was telling Andrew about this weird piece of trivia that I once read, but I actually misquoted. But, you know, it's along the same lines in that what I said to Andrew

was that he is one of the few actors who has played two different roles in the same movie where one at one point in the movie one character has to impersonate the other did that connect with you jeff because i i was very confused by this originally i didn't understand the piece of trivia he he's playing two different characters in a movie and one of the characters has to impersonate the other character that he's impersonating yeah and i was pulling from uh wild wild west where he plays you know the guy and then he also plays the president and then at some point his character impersonates the president and then i was also thinking of fierce creatures where he plays the australian billionaire Australian billionaire Rod McCain and also he plays his son

Vince McCain and at one point in the movie he Vince McCain has to pretend to be Rod McCain so I was like how many times has this guy done this but that wasn't even the interesting part of the trivia that was wrong he is one of the few actors who has played a character and the president where the other character impersonates the president in two different movies so i was just thinking it was those two movies but it was actually specifically the president because in the in a movie called dave yeah he was in dave he also played himself and the president and then impersonate the president so i was just like how many times has this guy played two characters where one character in person is the other? It's like a really specific thing. Who else has done that?

It's a very special skill he has. It is. It is a weird thing to be known for, so I pondered for a little bit, and I was thinking about it, and then I told Gavin Peter Stormare did it in a movie called Splice. Played two characters, one of those characters pretended to be another character.

Gavin was impressed by this, because I don't think he had ever heard anyone reply with an actual answer to it, to which I then revealed that I made all of that up because Peter Stormare has a career that you can't really fully track. Splice is just a movie that I didn't think Gavin would have seen that was also kind of obscure.

I just lied about it. I made up this fact. And I was livid because I was listening to him go on about this movie for a few minutes while we're playing Halo, and I was like oh interest You know thinking like maybe I want to check that out, and then eventually just like yeah, I was just lying I just made it up. I couldn't think of I Couldn't think of one and it was a whole it was whole issue, so then do we jump forward now to?

Later completely different conversation probably over an hour later an hour had passed i was talking about how in last week's podcast i flubbed uh my chris where i said chris rock instead of chris tucker and then we were talking and then you were talking to me about chris rock movies i would know i was talking to you about jackie we were ranking jackie chan sidekicks well that was the conversation yes who is like the greatest Jackie Chan sidekick of all time I feel like Chris Tucker probably but he's had some great sidekicks to then I then started talking I started talking about a movie called Bad Company uh which I was like ah that kind of feels like it should have been a Jackie Chan movie John and are you

familiar with Bad Company Jeff I don't think so. It is an early 2000s Chris Rock action comedy with Chris Rock and Anthony Hopkins, where Chris Rock plays a secret agent who is deep undercover, dies, and then they recruit his twin brother, who is completely unrelated. Like, doesn't he's kind of like a street hustler in my memory. Could be wrong, but he's not like a trained agent. To then take over the role of his brother. Who is undercover. So they can continue their operation.

I've said all of this. It was telling me this. And I was like wait. So you're saying. Chris Rock plays two characters. And then one character impersonates the other. And I had accidentally. Given the answer to the piece of trivia I had

an answer I just didn't know I had it I knew it but I didn't know I knew it and that took us to the to the next stage of this we thought that was pretty that was pretty funny accidental full circle I look up the movie Bad Company on IMDB third bill actor Peter storm there The question and in his answer is the same Bullshit answer from before it was that we were just like this is just too creepy It's gonna it's got around and with all the halo in between it just felt mental. We just had to like come offline What the hell just happened that's that kind of thing happens way too many fucking times to be coincidence that's really weird it was weird and it has been a problem where ever since i have lied about peter stormare

peter stormare is following me everything i want turns out uh he's in the tuxedo that's the thing he's in he's in that as well i was playing fast and furious last night the video game the most recent video game that came out fucking peter storm air is the main villain he's just in it he's just showing up left and right my life now i can't avoid peter storm air such i made a random fake fact about he's following me hey you know what i have one oh what's yours okay uh why did you say it like that? No? No? No, no, you're excited. No, no, no, no, no, that was That was like ooh like what's yours cuz I eventually came up with one. No that was enthusiasm. Wait who went oh?

Gavin did you get Andrew you seems very enthusiastic. Okay. Sorry. I misunderstood. I thought you misunderstood. Yeah, no Go for it. And Gavin goes, I think I was just like, I opened my mouth and Gavin goes, They were unrelated. They were unrelated. It's like, you're like my first two wives, buddy. Okay, here we go.

In the movie Beer Fest, the guy that plays Landfill, I believe he dies by drinking a vat of beer to save all their lives or something. And then, so that guy, he's the Farva from Starship Troopers, or not Starship Troopers, from Super Troopers. Starship Troopers, Super Troopers

would be a great mashup, by the way. I'd love to see it. Yeah, Starship Super Troopers, whatever it is. Anyway, that guy Landfill, he fucking dies, I think drinking a like a vat of beer and then his cousin shows up gill who happens to look exactly like him for the funeral and then says i'd like to join your group and for the rest of the movie in his honor will you just call me landfill and they're like absolutely so he he plays the character who dies, whose identical twin cousin shows up and plays him.

Also, in Twin Peaks, I'm pretty sure Cheryl Lee plays herself a 35 different fucking ways, including impersonating. Was the cousin Maddie or something plays Laura Palmer at some point? Maddie Palmer. Yeah, so Cheryl Lee plays Laura Palmer. Then she plays Maddie Palmer, her cousin,

who shows up, who then imperson plays Laura Palmer then she plays Maddie Palmer her cousin who shows up who then impersonates Laura Palmer to help try to solve the mystery of who killed Laura Palmer so it's been done a lot yeah I came up with parent trap as well there's a lot of there's a lot of times it's been done but I don't think anyone else has done it twice and also the president it's one of my favorite things now to just text Gavin random movies in which it occurs because he said it like i don't think it has ever happened a single time outside of this like never mind twice it's never happened once oceans 12 was mine last night julia roberts character in oceans 12 then also julia roberts the celebrity exists and part of the movie is julia roberts the character

impersonating julia ro Roberts, the actor. How would that even work? Because surely her entire life, she must have thought, damn, I look like Julia Roberts. Oh my God, dude. I just watched a movie. I just watched a movie that is the whole fucking, this is the whole point of it.

Have you guys seen the Princess Switch with Vanessa Hudgens on Netflix? I was watching Christmas movies. I was watching The Princess Switch. Not the best movie in the world. But the whole point of it is, she's like a baker from Chicago who goes to this fake-ass country

to fill in a baking competition, meets a princess who nobody's ever seen. They look exactly alike each other. So they switch places so the princess can, for some reason, live in the normal world. But then they have to impersonate each other again and then there's a sequel where they have to re-impersonate

each other and then another one where there's a fucking cousin that shows up and there's three of them that are all impersonating each other this might be the most overused plot device in the history of plot devices it sounds like it i don't this doesn't seem like this is just a thing that occurs and and not like an actual piece of trivia it's like it's like here's a trivia fact it rained here can you name another place in which it has rained i don't know if you can come up with it like it's just it happens yeah i will say jeff if you're looking for another princess movie, princess protection program. Great movie. Great princess movie.

What's that on? Great. It's Disney Plus. It's a Disney original channel. Cousin Greg is in it. A teenage cousin Greg from Succession. Very good. Oh, my God, dude.

Cousin Greg has been phenomenal this season on Succession. By the way, speaking of movies, you know, i don't watch them uh but i did recently uh i fell off my don't watch in movies uh horse and i watched one and it was really fucking good what did you watch i watched home sweet see there he goes i watched uh i watched home sweet home alone with uh ellie kemper and rob delaney it was really fucking good yeah the the home alone Alone sequel. Interesting. Or reboot, whatever you want to call it. It was great. It's a new Home Alone? You didn't know that there was a new Home Alone? No. Yeah. It's on

Disney+. I was a little British kid, Gavin. Is Peter Stormare in it? No, he's not. It feels like if it came out in 2007, he would have been. Peter Stormare isn't in it, but Pete Holmes is, who is a in every way a lesser version of that other man do you liked it because i feel like literally every

other opinion i've heard about that movie is it's the worst film that's ever been made that's ridiculous it's not i mean you're never gonna touch the first two but it was good it was heartfelt it was funny there was some legitimately funny stuff. Kenan Thompson's in it. Not as funny as the first. Kenan Thompson's okay in it. He plays like a real estate agent. Chris Parnell. I wish he was in it more. Chris Parnell, barely in it.

Kenan Thompson's in it a little bit more. I wish to God, because Kenan's such a funny dude, I wish they would have used him more. But still, it's good, man. So is it in the same universe as someone related to Kevin McAllister? Yes, it is in the Kevin McAllister universe. Really? I don't want to spoil cameos and stuff,

but there are definite overt cameos that make sense in the context of the film, and there are characters that appear. I'm going to watch this movie. I'm also going to watch this. Maybe next time you record, we'll have opinions. Home Alone 1 and 2, great movies. Fantastic movies. Fantastic movies.

Great, great movies. I'm excited to hear that this is in the McAllister universe because in the trailer... The MCU. In the... Yes. The MCU. The MCU.

It looked like they took a bunch of the gags from the first and like a few of the other movies and just put them all into one thing so i'm happy that it's it's a continuation in some way i think there's also another home alone coming out with ryan reynolds at some point oh really they announced that but it's like an adult like stuck at home and high but dealing with robbers but i could be misremembering that that could have been a fever dream i'll say this they did something very smart in the movie um and i don't think it's spoiling too much but uh the the the i don't think the kid like it's hard to find another macaulay culkin right like he was a he was perfect for that role absolutely and i really hard for

anybody to to live up to, to, to that role. And so they make it, it's less focused on the kid and more, a little bit more focused on the, the people breaking in to the house. And I think that was a very smart choice.

I like it. I will check that out. We're going to watch another movie as well. Your movie streak is far from done. I cannot wait for us to record our Tuxedo Watch, which at some point will happen. Hopefully soon.

Very excited. We're going to put it up, right? Yeah, no, absolutely. Oh, I'm back. Gavin was gone. You were gone. I was, my thing freaked out for a second.

Were you talking about Tuxedo? Yes, I was saying that we were going to do a thing for it. I'm excited for it. Adding to Jeff's movie list. Well, Henry's, Henry got a new football and he loves it. Speaking of stuff we're going to do a thing for it. I'm excited for it. Adding to Jeff's movie list. Well, Henry's... Henry got a new football, and he loves it.

Speaking of stuff we're going to do, people loving the next time on F*** Face from minor league fan Jack. Yeah! Did a great job. I ran into him today at work. Congratulated him. He did a really good job. I think we should do it every week. Okay. Sure. We can do it.

We'll see how let's see how long that lasts it'll be until we stop being one ahead that yeah it'll go on the pile of forgotten comedy like uh the smashing sportsman and ping pong balls and who knows whatever fucking baskets no i did the baskets as part of the redemption year how dare you throw that in as an unsolved or unresolved issue of our podcast what is your potential uh redemption year how dare you throw that in as an unsolved or unresolved issue of our potential redemption year redo andrew that you mentioned i heard i heard about the jack so i i was aware that the jack thing had happened i'd seen some comments about it or at least i thought i did and so i was like oh i'll listen to it so i assumed it would be and we've had several talks

about this there's no excuse to this but i didn't know where it was i assumed it would be at the start of the episode so i listened to the beginning of the episode and as it's this is known i don't listen to our show because i hate myself too much to do so anything i don't ever hear to our show while we're making it no yeah that's true that's true i i so i watched the beginning of it or listen to it it And it's not there so I'm like okay I'll comb to the end Go to the end of it It's not there as well I don't know where it is It's definitely in there somewhere

But on top of that I didn't know we had outro music That blew my mind That was genuinely shocking last night To hear outro music come in I was surprised I learned last night that this show has outro music Same as the intro music But it's there. Didn't know it was there.

We've done this 81 times. Yeah, I was trying to figure out what episode it was. This is 81. We're recording 81. Yeah, it took 81 times for me to realize that there's an outro. We do an outro song and we fade out. And then I guess it's a gag sometimes. It's great.

This is a good job on the edit. Nick's a great editor. He's great. And sometimes the outro music will stop in the middle if yes for some reason don't end it or just continue i think that's maybe what happened in that episode which is why i missed the jack thing is that correct that like it looked like we're gonna end and it goes to the jack and then we continue beyond the jack nick wanted to put the jack thing at the moment where we discussed it this time okay and then going forward it'll be at the end i think okay well i'll find the jack at some point i'm excited a few minutes from now it's an hour it's an hour and seven minutes in i think okay well there we thank you that that results awesome have we explained what we're

talking about at any point during this conversation uh well we're just assuming that they've yeah we're assuming that everyone who's listened to this has listened to that one as well we should recap it for us every week we're going to try and get jack to read the discord chat that we that happens while we record and then we put that we we have jack figure out what we talked about and then put that recording of jack explaining it on the previous episode at the end as a little teaser. Can I do some more cleanup work right here? Like, just call something out? Because I don't feel like,

I feel like we missed doing this last time. And I don't know if this will be, Jeffrey, are you going to post your Apple van video? Is that going to go up anywhere? Oh, did we not post that? I don't know. I don't think that episode's out yet. Oh, that episode hasn't come out yet. Yeah yeah no for sure yeah it'll be it'll be on i'll i'll i'll have it

put up on the instagram okay is that you by apple video you mean me you excitedly taking a photo of an apple van i've been ever since yeah yeah after the last like five days i've been walking around my place just going apples it just makes me laugh it's a great it's one of the funniest videos i've seen in a long time i meant to bring it up at the time where people could see it we didn't do that we just brushed past it so if we're calling things out from the past explaining things go to the instagram to see that great video yeah see the uh me it was right after my colonoscopy I have zero memory of this it's a pretty short video about a minute long

so while we're cleaning stuff up I have a couple things I wanted to go over the real brief but while we're cleaning stuff up and because it's probably still December at this point I feel like we need to mention there is a plethora of face related merchandise that you can buy that is the perfect

stocking stuffer or a gag gift or sincere gift or fuck you gift i don't really care what you do with it but uh just get oh get it just in time for january as eric says yeah uh b11 do you do this every year i'm talking to you regular regulation listener i'm talking to you comment lever you do this every year you wait till the last second and regulation listener. I'm talking to you, comment leaver. You do this every year. You wait till the last second, and then you try to buy a gift, and you buy it today on a website, and then they tell you that it doesn't ship till fucking March. So now you're like, I guess I'm sending, I guess I'm getting my girlfriend a picture of this thing for Christmas because I'm not going to have it till March.

Oh, also, I can't fucking cancel the order for some reason because they're like, fuck you, buddy. The option to do that, the cancel button's stuck on a fucking from china to suck my dick so i can't fucking cancel it so i guess in march my girlfriend's gonna get her christmas gift anyway don't be like me or be like you buy it now 11 and a half months early you'll be ready for next year sounds like thank me later it does thank me later yeah it's sort of the opposite exactly what it is right because i would you'd buy the christmas gift now and i'd send it to you in august i think it's how thank me later would work you can't schedule in advance how's that different to getting it in march what do you what are you saying oh i think i think thank me later you don't know when you're getting it right yeah that's exactly there's no there's no control to it it's a surprise sorry i was not

listening i was doing my role i was i was thinking about jack in the podcast and i was like you must be your ears are shut for like 50 of every podcast no this is honestly what happened that's not true i listen to way more also i'd say you can't keep talking about you're gonna fucking talk about not listening and interrupt me in the middle of me talking you're gonna be like you don't listen 90% of the time and just start talking over me in the middle of me talking That's what you're gonna do you're gonna hold this position as Explaining why I wasn't listening while you just decided that it wasn't worth listening to it started talking over me There's no sneaking it in.

I'm talking loudly. There's no sneaking. All right, go ahead. No, you go ahead. You have the floor. It's very important. You need to say, go ahead. No, you do it.

No, you go. You go, Gavin. The floor is yours. I've stepped out of the way. Continue. I'll just be silent the whole show. No, I wouldn't do that. Because I need to talk about a thing.

You know what? I am going to take the floor, Gavin. The reason why I wasn't listening is because we just talked about the Apple Van. I have a Cosmic Crisp on my desk. I haven't eaten it yet. I haven't tried it yet. I have had it for like five days. It has been so hard not to eat any of these delicious apples.

It's been in my mind constantly. I'm just staring at it. I'm excited to try this. Are you going to have it today or are you going to wait 361 more days? No, I'm going to have it today. I have a whole bag of them, Gavin. So I'm going to save one in the fridge because we're going to do the year thing. Yeah, do we, uh, Gav, do you have any Cosmic Krispies right now?

No. I don't either. I need to get one. We'll put them in the... I've got one on my desk at work if you didn't glue it to something or... Are we recording next week like normal? Is everybody in town recording like normal?

I will be around. I'll be back. Let's put our apples in the fridge next week. Okay, we will work it. But, Andrew, I want you... But we'll put our apples in... The fridge year will begin next week. Andrew, I want to hear you eat this thing.

I don't want to hear it. I was reading some comments today from not regulation listeners, obviously comment leavers, who were mentioning how much they love it when we eat on camera. However, I think we should end on it. It's like a big thing. What? What? Never mind.

He's just done it again, hasn't he? It was in his gullet while you were explaining it. He made salad cream the fucking day before. No. His mouth opened, ears closed at all times. That was your... No, that was your fault. You said... You said you wanted me to do it,

and you wanted it to be loud. And so I took a big bite into the microphone This is a delicious apple Eric has a problem with what just happened Eric. This is great. I don't understand I you're I want I want you to be able to review the apple and everything I don't understand whose fault is this I was just fault because he said I want you to his exact words work I want you to eat the apple and I want it to be loud. So I immediately

accommodated his request. Hey, did you guys hear that at all when he took a bite? Did you guys hear a bite? Did you guys hear a bite at all? Or were you just surprised when he was chewing? No, it's just in his mouth already. Okay, cool. Just making sure. Thank you. What have people said about us eating on Mike.

They love it. More, more, please. Somebody was like, I swear to God, every time I tune into an RT podcast, no matter what it is, somebody's eating and it's driving and they hated it. And I thought that was funny. Talking about food a lot. This is a tart. Well, listen, we're talking. One of the things I wanted to do was talk about a little bit more food.

But right now, I really think Andrew should just go. This is a tart apple. This is a tart apple. This is a pretty apple. This is a big apple. Very crisp, not chewy. Sweet. This is a very good apple.

How juicy is it? I wouldn't say it's too juicy. I'd say it's pretty average on the juice scale. Was your guys' apple juicy? Yeah, I juiced it with my shorts. Yeah, I was surprised at how juicy it was. I thought that was one of the defining characteristics of it, was the juice quotient.

Mine's not very juicy. It was crisp. There was a crispness to it. It bit really well. It wasn't chewy. I hate a crispness to it. It bit really well. It wasn't chewy. I hate a chewy apple. It bit well. There's a bite test too. There's a bite feel to apples, Gavin. It bit well. It

broke away from the core in a way that was satisfying and not mushy. You hate a mushy apple. I personally fucking can't stand a mushy apple. What's your sticker look like? What's your code? My I fucking can't stand a mushy apple. What's your sticker look like? What's your code? Um my You didn't eat the sticker did you? No

Okay, well we can review the apple at the end of the show You in the wrong. What are you doing? What's happened? You ate the wrong apple. It's a i'm eating a pink lady apparently what the fuck what are you fucking serious is this for real no no no no are you serious are you serious for real what the hell wait wait no i have a cup of crisp i must i put there must have been a pink lady amongst the pile of the crisps, and it was in the bag. It's in a mix-up. I do have a Cosmic Crisp, though, that I haven't been into. We can make that be the finale, like you said, Jeff.

Everything works out. There was an apple switcheroo! It was. I'll take a photo of my apple. Hey, now we know... Now we know a couple of things, right? We know. We got the Pink Lady review.

We know Pink Lady is among Andrew's favorite apples because it was even in the house. He's revealed two of his favorites. Yeah, and we can have it as a baseline to compare his reaction to the Cosmic Crisp. And by the way, I'm glad it wasn't a Cosmic Crisp because I was fucking confused when you said it wasn't juicy. Because that felt like a very different apple than what we had. I am stunned right now. How did you do...

You saw what the Cosmic Crisp looked like. They look similar. I just, I went in, I grabbed a bag of apples from my fridge, and there's a pink lady. I don't know how many... I need to check if that's the only... Are you saying that was... All of your apples are mixed together? Or did you accidentally buy a pink lady. I don't know how many. I need to check if that's the only... Are you saying that was... All of your apples are mixed together

or did you accidentally buy a pink lady amongst the Cosmic? No. No, no, no, no, no, no. I think I accidentally bought a pink lady amongst the Cosmic crisps. I think there must have been a pink... I somehow grabbed the pink lady.

It must have been in the pile. Sounds like you stole a pink lady. Or I paid... Or you paid Cosmic crisp pricing. I think I paid Cosmic crisp pricing for a pink lady. Gonna paid or you paid cosmic crisp yeah i think i paid cosmic crisp pricing for for a pink lady gonna mess up their stock how do i take a photo that now there are apple stocks off by one yeah you how did that happen i'm still blown away that you were eating a different also thank god we asked about the sticker otherwise no we'd never. You'd be living a lie for the rest of your life.

Imagine if he was eating the 100% cocoa. Oh, sorry, I was eating ice cream. We would have eventually learned when I flipped the apple. I just bit into the apple on the opposite of the sticker side. You just are so keen to start eating before we're ready that you didn't even look at the apple. So see, that half of the apple. So see, that's, I ate that half of the apple and I flipped

it over and it's just pink late. Oh yeah, 41.30? What the fuck? Gavin, it would be like if we found out all these years that he's hated bananas, he was eating lemons. And he's like, what? They're both yellow. They're essentially the same thing.

If we didn't make the joke about which batch number he had, he would never have known. He would have just had a pink bite. When I flipped the apple, I think I would have noticed, but it's just when would I have flipped the apple. Eric's commenting about my large bites. I was trying to make noise.

I wanted noise. Jeff wanted it loud. I was trying to make the loudest crunch I could make. Well, you made something all right Jesus well yeah I will have the cosmic crisp later I guess it's the finale like Jeff wants we'll just do it Jeff we'll eat the other one later

it's fine oh Christ oh my god oh god Oh, Christ. Oh, my God. Oh, God. Wherever you're going, you better believe American Express will be right there with you. Heading for adventure? We'll help you breeze through security. Meeting friends a world away?

You can use your travel credit. Squeezing every drop out of the last day? How about a 4 p.m. late checkout? Just need a nice place to settle in? Enjoy your room upgrade. Wherever you go, we'll go together. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamx. Benefits vary by card. Terms apply. Can I tell you guys a short story that wasn't allowed to be funny until now and now i'm allowed to laugh at it okay of course yeah wednesday night last week right like night before thanksgiving uh the girlfriend and i go to the storage facility to get um christmas decorations and stuff you know uh of which there is a an entire facility full of. My girlfriend is very

fucking festive, and I mean that in a good way. I realize that sounded biting, but that's not how I mean it. She also listens, and I love it. I'm eating my burnt Pop-Tart off of a Christmas plate right now, and I'm joyous to be doing so. Anyway, so we go

and we load up the two carts full of, like like tupperwares full of fucking you know like rubbermaid bins full of ornaments and shit and i i push out the elevator go out the sliding like the opening you know double open doors and i'm putting stuff in the truck the car and i uh i realize she's not behind me and i turn around and she's still not behind me and i think that's weird we were in the elevator together so i run back inside and she's not behind me and I turn around and she's still not behind me. And I think that's weird. We were in the elevator together. So I run back inside and she's just like standing in the middle of the elevator, half out with like the cart half in and half out bent over. And the doors just keep like hitting the fucking cart and her a little bit.

And she's just like, I thought she was confused or nauseous or like maybe she'd thrown up or like, I don't know what was going on. And but her body language is not good. So I run over there and I'm like, dude, what's up? What's going on? What's wrong? And she goes, uh, uh, I don't know what to do. And I'm like, oh fuck. What's did her eyeball pop out or like, Jesus, this sounds bad. Like, is she having palpitations? And she's like, I don't know. I don't know how it happened. I don't, I don't know what to do. Uh, and she's like, I don't know. I don't know how it happened. I don't know what to do. And she's like panicking. And I'm like, well, what happened?

And she goes, my keys were on the Rubbermaid. And when I was pushing out, the door clipped it and they fell. And I think they fell down the elevator shaft. And I'm like, that's impossible. And so we move out and we look. And sure enough, she dropped her car and house and everything keys off that Rubbermaid they went

straight down the elevator into the abyss at 10.30 at night the night before Thanksgiving and is this one of those storage facilities where there's no staff well there's certainly no staff there at 10 o'clock at night and there's certainly not

going to be a staff there during the holidays uh yeah it was dead ass empty so uh we were able to get in her car with the i hadn't opened the back door yet we were able to get in her car with her phone you know she could like unlock the car with her phone and then she had to like we had to like uber home get my car or come back and finish or get extra keys, come back. She didn't get her fucking car keys back until like Sunday. They had to like go in and like perform a procedure at the elevator, fucking block it off with two people and to wait for a dude to come in on Sunday to do it. She got her fucking keys back. And I guess they had been sitting in water the entire time.

to do it. She got her fucking keys back and I guess they had been sitting in water the entire time. I have been holding in a laugh since that moment. Watching the fucking... It's been the hardest... I have been such a supportive

guy, such a supportive boyfriend. I haven't made a joke or laughed about it or even snickered. i've just been very conciliatory very calm and understanding this did not go well she was not happy but oh my god is it funny that's incredible that's my that's my little story why don't they have a nice little catchment trough that's directly under the doors that just mails it out to you. I know. Because I feel like I know

so many people who have dropped stuff straight down between the floors. That's what I was telling her. I was like, I bet this happens all the time. Like, they probably are like, jump into action because they're like, eh, it happens twice a week. Your brain went catchment troughed. Mine went long sticks with magnets on them.

That's what I want just magnet up that's just like fun you don't want the people to have to do work you just know it's fun it's not fun it's it's it's fun when it's work I've said that the opposite of what I wanted

to say when it's fun it isn't work that's just a game and you can maybe get somebody else's stuff you don't know what's down there I don't know I feel like I'd feel iffy like pissing about between you know the the floors like what if what if the lift drops

and resident evil is you or something no or mission impossible one well maybe hmm yeah throw a camera yeah that was on the top like the reverse of a mission impossible i guess i guess not what's one so mission impossible is one where somebody gets killed at the top of an elevator. What's a thing? I think the catchment brakes go through his face as he's looking up at them. Yes, they do. But that's a death at the top. What is a death at the bottom?

Can you think of a movie or something? I feel like it's harder to think of being crushed by an elevator than it is. I've seen some YouTube videos, but I can't think of any movies. What do you mean by that? Like you've seen it happen in real life on YouTube? Yeah. Oh, that's terrible. No, I'm not.

Yeah, no. People getting squashed. Like a drunk person opening up the door and there's nothing there and they just fall through. It happens in Oz, but I can't think of a movie where it happens. I can't think of a scene, and it must have. It must have happened. I can think of scenes where people have fallen with the elevator,

but never below the elevator. Oh, here we go. Where a guy falls down, and... Okay, let's look at the... Let's open this link up. Because there's a movie called 12 Rounds with John Cena, and he's trying to hold a guy up, and he can't lift him,

and he falls with the elevator, and the guy dies. But that's not being below it. Oh, this guy has gone on this whole spree about, I'm thinking of a movie where a guy falls down an elevator shaft. The first comment says, I think it's Marked for Death with Steven Seagal. What? Steven Seagal. Yeah. Oh for death with Steven Seagull. What? Steven Seagull. Yeah. Steven Seagull.

Steven Seagull. My favorite. Steven Seagull. And then the link to the seed. And the guy who wrote the post said, that's it. Turns out it wasn't an elevator shaft. What? What? That's somehow more disappointing than my resolution of clicking the video link

and being told video content from Fox has blocked it on copyright grounds. It's unavailable. I can't see it either. Wait. Screwface crucifixion? What does that mean? Is that what the video is called? Sounds awful.

I already clicked away. Doesn't sound like a good time. I don't think... Yeah, I can think of so many ways in which people have died in elevators that aren't related to being below it. I got someone falling down a shaft. I got Final Destination 2. Getting your head cut off in the elevator. Can't think anything below it.

I would say it's rarer than a person impersonating a character they're playing in a movie. Yeah, when one actor has to impersonate another because the original one got squashed by a lift. Has that never happened to James Bond? That feels like a thing that would have happened at some point in James Bond to somebody.

What, someone impersonated someone else? Yeah, no, someone getting fucking crushed by a lift. That's probably happened. Yeah, I'd assume it exists. It's somewhere. Well, thank God it didn't happen on Sunday, I'll tell you that. So that was, what, the night before thanksgiving jeff yeah that one yeah well like the worst time going into a

holiday what's your question eric uh i just i wanted to know specifically if andrew calls it a lift or an elevator i don't know where british english stops and oh it's in canada oh yeah it's definitely an elevator okay if it If it was just Gavin and I though, I think I'd say lift. Is that just for my benefit? Yeah, just for you because I know how you like your language. I know how you speak. But if we were in a group,

we're in a group setting, I would say elevator. Well, Gavin, let me ask you a question. If it was just you and Andrew, you know how he speaks. Would you say elevator to make him comfortable? Yeah. Okay. That's not like I do that a lot when I'm here.

It's like, oh, could you take out the trash? I would never say that on my own. I'm just glad to see it goes both ways. Well, no. No, we can't. That doesn't work. We're just saying it in a way in which we don't normally say it to the other person. If I'm calling it a lift and you're calling it an elevator, well,

then I just feel like we're both just like, what are we doing at that point? There needs to be, it can't go both ways. I'll tell you what you're doing. He's being British and you're being Canadian. It's going to be given, take both ways.

No, it's just has to be one way or else. Then what's the point of changing? What do you want to do with the heavy lifting then? I'm, I don't really care. We can flip a coin. It just can't go both ways. It has to be

only one way. I think it's the ultimate sign of respect to go both ways. I just feel like we're both just saying things we wouldn't normally say at that point. Like, what are we doing? Yeah, Eric has a good suggestion. Flip a coin every time we hang out and that will determine who takes over all of the politeness. Okay. I like

that. Or what if you pick words like lift and elevator and we flip a coin now and then whichever way it goes, that's just how we have to use that word forever. Forever? Yeah, or whatever. Like in the context of any of us hanging out from now until perpetuity, we'd have to say elevator. Do you want to just pick one word right now and I can flip a coin? And heads, you say it one way and tails, you say it the other way? You just pick one word.

Can we do trash and rubbish? Sure. Gavin, do you want trash or rubbish to be heads? Let's put rubbish on tails. Rubbish is tails, trash is heads, the coin is flipping. What? I don't know if I can adopt rubbish why i just don't that one's off the table i don't i don't think i could be a rubbish guy so so your uh your conciliatory nature uh has a limit it does and no it absolutely does

there's certain because there's another one, edge ways, edge wise. I've never understood edge wise. What does that mean? I don't know what it means, but it's just, I can't be a ways person. I've been a wise person too long. I can't make that change.

Jeff, I assume you're also edge wise. I'm edge wise. What does that mean? The dictionary definition, with the edge uppermost or toward the viewer. What? That's the definition.

It's an adverb. With the edge uppermost or toward the viewer. I always heard, like, I can't get a word in edgeways. Like, I can't even squeeze a word in, like, a different way. You say edge... No, I didn't get a word in edgewise. What does that mean? How is it one?

Like, imagine saying I can't get a word in sideways, but you say sideways. What does that mean? How is it wise? Like, imagine saying I can't get a word in sideways, but you say sideways. What does that mean? Well, the phrase to get a word in edgewise means to contribute to a conversation with difficulty because the other speaker talks almost without a pause. Well, yeah, that's what edgewise means. That's what edgewise means. But that's what edgewise means is what I'm saying. Is it just like a miscommunication across the ocean? Yeah, I feel like it's I couldn't care less, I could care less.

Like people are just misusing. What does this say here, Eric? Nick wrote definition of edgewise. One, sideways. Even the definition is ways. Also, I googled edgeways and it's not a word. It doesn't come up. It's two words.

Edge wise is one word. Edge ways is two words. This is so dumb. Edge ways isn't in there. That's not a phrase. You made it up. No one on earth says edge wage. Edge ways.

Edge wage. Edge wage. Edge waste. As wage. As wage. Google has edge waste is what Google thinks I'm saying. It's not a word. I'm really glad I didn't just go with rubbish. I'm so glad. What's weird about my rubbish rules is. Edge ways.

Edge ways. It makes. Think about it. That makes way more sense! It does! I understand what he's saying. Unfortunately, Google doesn't. What do you mean? No, I don't think you know what you're Googling.

It's not in there. I don't think you understand what you're doing. Tell me what to Google. I don't- I don't have the answer to that either. But I don't think you know either. Gavin, tell me what to Google. Why would a different version of edgeways be sideways, but edgewise is also sideways? Okay.

Just tell me how to spell edgeways. E-T-G-E hyphen W-I-S-E. W-A-S-E. Damn! What? W-A-Y-S-E. What? You see, when I do that, it comes up edgeways.

Edgewise, yeah. What? You see, when I do that, it comes up edgewise. E-D-G-E hyphen W-A-Y-S I was reading I was reading My brain's mellowing. I was reading what Nick wrote. What are you talking about? What's wrong with the hyphen, Eric?

It just wasn't. I thought we were talking about one word. Is edge waste the right? I don't know. I'm confused now. That's what happens when you Google it. But that says that's W-A-S-E. Yeah, edge waste.

That might have been what I said when I was saying it wrong. Hold on. I'm really tired. Edge waste. Hey, I do want to say, Jeff, you're doing your best with this, when I was saying it wrong. Hold on. I'm really tired. Edgeways. Hey, I do want to say, Jeff, you're doing your best with this, and I'm proud of you. Like sideways.

Thanks, man. I really appreciate it. I'm doing my best. I'm trying my hardest. The issue isn't that it's two words. It's not a singular word for the expression. He's saying, like, the way in which the edge of the thing is facing. Like a knife? Maybe there's no hyphen. I don't know. Maybe it's just edgeways

is one word. This is a mess. I'm googled out, buddy. Edge cool. If you said something was facing backwards, would you say backwards or backwise? or backwards? I just wanted to flip a coin. Alright, so trash is heads,

tails is rubbish. There's one before we do this. Kevin, you told me everyone in Europe says edgeways. Is that a lie? Are you just the only edgeways. Is that a lie? Are you just the only edgeways guy? To what extent? I feel like everyone in England says edgeways. Okay, there we go.

Now I'm back on the team. You just really have to forget the first time I tried to spell it. Ignore that. That was all wrong. Also, I wanted to point out that when I couldn't pronounce that name, it's because it was spelt wrong. It was Steven S-E-G-A-L, and that was what confused me. All right, what else?

What other corrections do we have? A lot of stuff's confusing you lately, huh? Yeah, I don't know why. Maybe you need to open a window or something. Tails. I saw a fucking... Can I tell you guys about a billboard i saw oh right we gotta flip the coin we still doing that andrew can you abide by the rules of rubbish

and okay yeah the rules of rubbish and trash for me i would never call garbage rubbish but i would call somebody who's like playing poorly at a game. I would call someone their trash as in rubbish. What is the name of the receptacle that you would put rubbish in? It's a trash can. Yeah, in America, it's a trash can, but now we'll have to call it a rubbish bin, right? Yeah, rubbish bin. So it's like a twofold.

I didn't realize garburator was a universal term. That was a weird one for me. Is that not a Europe thing? A garburator? Is that like what Garbo Man uses? What do you think a garburator is, Jeff?

I think it's probably a garbage disposal? Yeah, exactly. That's exactly what it is. This was the thing in the sink. Garburator might be a brand name. Is it? I've only ever heard it referred to as a garburator. I called it a garburator,

said it to a group of people. They had no idea what I was talking about. And it shot. Group of people from a different country. Very specific to point out. This is not... It's a Canadian thing. Yeah.

And is that a pun off carburetor? I have no idea the origin. It could be, but I don't know the definitive origin. I haven't done my research on the history of the term carburetor, but that's what we call it. Anyway, I take tails. Imagine if we were all from America. Okay, so are you abiding by Rubbish Bin?

Yeah, he's got to. Yeah, I guess I can't. So if I lose this coin toss, I can never say trash in any context in which I would normally say. I'd have to replace it with rubbish. And if it's the other way, you have to do the same, but reverse.

Whenever you would use the word rubbish, you have to say trash now. Yeah, but I would use the word rubbish, you have to say trash now. Yeah, but I would like to point out that you potentially haven't listened again. Yeah, I... Because you called tails on my tails. Oh, you called tails? He did. Okay, well, then it's heads, and I just won.

I'm looking at heads. No, I haven't flipped it yet. That's why I just shared my screen so that way we could see it, and then you don't call deception, and then it's a whole thing that I have to get lawyers involved okay well no just one second who's the away person here I think I'm away so I get to call the toss what are you away from

everyone else in this place is in the same place in the same city I'm the only one not in the same country it's true we're the most we're the most north but you're both but you're all from North America I'm the away on the on the phrasing yeah but you currently live playing away I live away you call it you stick with tails

no you can have tails if you want okay I'll take tails. I feel like Eric is sharing his screen and it's a virtual coin. I want a real coin. Yeah, I also kind of want a real coin. I can go run and get... You want me to run and get a real coin? Yeah, get a real coin, please. While he's doing that,

let me tell you a funny billboard I saw. I'd love to hear about your funny billboard. It's just a very brief thing I saw. I saw a billboard yesterday on i35 that said, keep Austin weird, which is, you know, a fucking stupid phrase we've had for 25 years. Keep Austin weird like high cost

of living weird. Ohio. It was a billboard advertising people advertising another state. The state of Ohio is spending money on billboards in Austin trying to tell people to leave Austin to move to Ohio.

States are trying to poach each other. That's how you know you fucking made it as a city when an entire state on the other side of the country spends thousands of dollars to try to convince the people that live here to move there instead. That's fucking ludicrous. I feel like that's not what's happening.

I think that's an Austin billboard. I think they're trying to convince people to leave. You think so? Yeah, if Austin was smart, they'd put up those exact billboards. It was funded by Austinites who've lived here for more than 10 years. Could you imagine?

God damn. Could you imagine being in like like you just walking around London like in I don't know shortage or something and there's just a big billboard that's like Norwich give it a try are we doing multiple tosses are we doing like a best of five on this coin toss no I think it's

one is done I just here's the thing here's what happened. I know how you operate because we've done 81 episodes of this show. So I've chosen one of every coin. So I have, I'm going to let you choose or you guys can come to a consensus. I have a penny.

I have a nickel. I have a dime. Okay, that's three. I have a quarter. Four. And I have a nickel i don't i have a dime okay i have a i have a quarter four and i have a half dollar okay you have five so just flip all of them and we'll do best of five what do they call the half dollar yeah just do flip all of them what's that flip all of them like how why do i have a half dollar i don't know do they have a special name for it? Half dollar. It says half dollar on it. Okay. Hard to see. Okay, are we

flipping all five and then... All five and we'll take a pause between. We can re-evaluate if you want to maintain heads or tails. Okay. Do you have a top-down angle? I can try to do one. Oh, that's great. How's that? Yeah, that works. Fantastic. Okay, here's the penny. We that? Yeah, that works. Fantastic. Cool. Okay. Here's the penny.

We are saying heads is... I'm tails. Andrews is tails. What does that... So trash is heads. No. Rubbish is heads. Trash is tails.

Is that right? Yes, that is correct. Rubbish is heads. Trash tails. Rubbish is heads. Trash is tails. Trash is tails. Yep.

Am I catching it or letting it hit the table? Let it hit the table. Okay. the table okay just making sure here we go it is heads fuck oh fuck okay rubbish has out ever okay I'm gonna I'm I'm gonna hold that's one that's one for rubbish if I'm rubbish do I. Trash has none so far. I'm going to hold tails. I'm going to hold tails on the next toss. I'm just going to go with the odds. We have a nickel.

Heads. Tails. We said rubbish is heads. Trash is tails. We are holding. Here's the flip. It is heads. False.

Oh, hell yeah. There's two for rubbish. There's no way. I'm sticking with tails. There's no way. I'm sticking with tails. There's no way that I lose three times in a row. It can't happen. This is going to be a comeback of the ages on this flip. What is this, a quarter?

This is a dime. We're doing a dime. This is the smallest. This is the smallest of all of the coins. It is wheat or something on the back. Rubbish is heads. Trash is tails. We are saying that is holding. Here we go.

Oh, it went off. What did it land on? What did it land on? It's out of bounds. I agree. It should be out of bounds and I won't tell you. I will not tell you. Out of bounds, I won't tell you. It could influence your answer. It could influence your answer. I agree, it should be out of bounds and I won't tell you. I agree, but I... I will not tell you. Out of bounds, I won't tell you. That means it was tailed.

It could influence your answer. It could influence your answer. It could influence your answer. I'm not counting it. No, I'm locked in. You're locked in? None of us are allowed to know. It's fine.

Yep. I'll tell you afterwards. Okay. Here we go. Andrew? Andrew. What? Yeah.

You're not going to like this. Well, am I not going to like the fact that it was tails and you flipped it again? Is that what I'm not going to like? It has landed on heads. What was it on the floor? On the floor, it was heads. I suck.

I'm terrible. Flip the rest. Flip the other two plates. This is the luck I was talking I'm terrible. Flip the rest. Flip the other two plates. This is the look I was talking about, Andrew. Okay. Do you want to change? No, no. I'm going to hold tails.

There's no... It's got to be tails eventually. Oh, it's off. Doesn't count. Doesn't count. It's a false. It's a redo. It's a heads.

No way. No way. I swear to God. No way. Hey, Andrew. When it fell off, it's a heads. No way. No way. I swear to God. No way. Hey, Andrew, when it fell off, it landed on heads. Fuck off. Heads. There's no way I lose seven in a row.

Tails. Ready? Tails. Here it comes. Oh. It rolled off. Here we go. It rolled off.

Andrew? Yep. It's landed on heads. Fucking no way. There's no way. What didn't land on the floor? On the floor? Yeah.

On the floor, it landed on tails. There we go. So we got one. I had one tail. No, no, you didn't get any. You got none. Well, no, but it landed. Like, at least you flipped it eight times. And, I'll say this, at no point was it a sock.

Which is still for sale in our store. Buy them 11 and a half months early for next Christmas. I like that heads was open, and you, I'd already picked tails, and then you picked tails, so I had to go for heads. If you'd have just listened. open and uh you i'd already picked tails and then you picked tails so i had to go for heads if you don't listen god damn i like tail i had a good feeling about tails talk about snatching defeat from the claws of victory that's the best luck i've ever had from heads i'll be honest i'm usually a tails guy yeah every time i was surprised i'm a tails guy too i'm the worst luck what is the the nfl

hasn't the super bowl it's been the same thing for like 18 years or whatever on their coin toss is that heads or tails no way that's what i should have went yeah it's been like the same i don't think i'm making that up i think for like an extended period of time it has been the same call every time that is one uh i'll just go back through the last five heads tails heads heads tails okay I just made that up I thought that was a thing I thought it was like a lock every year

I thought that was the thing I was wrong about that I was clearly incorrect hey Andrew yes when you're done with your apple where are you gonna throw it the rubbish yeah I mean you can compost When you're done with your apple, where are you going to throw it? The rubbish. Yeah.

I mean, you can compost. That's true. No, I will actually. I will compost it. That's right. That's actually the correct answer. Why don't you pop one of those Cosmic Crisps in your mouth and see what's up? We're doing this. This is the finale.

We're doing the big finale. I'm going to finally taste this Cosmic Crisp. This is exciting. I've been waiting days to do this. I thought I did it once. I get to relive the experience a second time. How lucky am I? Here we go. Oh, Nick recorded the video. That's awesome. That's awesome. Oh, that

was a nice big crunch. I heard that. This is so juicy. He's got the right one. We got the crunch and the juice. He's eating the right one! We got the crutch and the juice! He's eating the right apple! Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit!

He turned into Donald Duck! He turned into Donald Duck! Don't choke, chew! Chew, Andrew! I was laughing, I choked on the juice this is a delicious apple this is really good oh we may have we may have figured out the third apple now that that's in his top seven no this is so wow you might have to kick one out that's the thing i'm getting if secretly pink lady was my number one apple i love a pink lady i think it's a fantastic apple for so many reasons wait wait you ate your favorite apple and couldn't

tell you were eating it yeah well yeah because it's it's there's like a variation of it i love a pink lady i thought that's how good the cosmic crisp was was like, this is a delicious apple. But having the back-to-back, unknowingly, originally, I think the Cosmic Crisp might be better than a Pink Lady, which I did not expect.

So it reigns as the best apple? This might be my current favorite apple. Wow. Wow. Wow. So better than

a 6 out of 10, then? I think this would be a phenomenal apple juice. Good crunch. Texture is fine. Eric, while Andrew's eating, do you want to talk about the cider that you had? Yeah, I went to a brewery in San Diego

and just by happenstance, I can't escape the show. So they had Cosmic Crisp Cider and I talked to the bartender and they said, oh yeah, it's from this one place and Cosmic Crisp is like, this is like the best oh yeah it's from this one place and Cosmic Crisp is like this is like the best one they do and it's really made with Cosmic Crisp apples and I had it and it tasted like cause I gave it a six out of ten I mean it tasted like the Cosmic Crisp was the bartender Peter Stormare no unfortunately you did say that it became a six and a half out of ten

after you were done is that right it did when I was done it went up about half a point i did i did enjoy it it's just it wasn't so sugary which was nice but also it's a cider so it's kind of like you know how much do you really want to drink of those that's gonna help i i gotta i'm going to upgrade my rank from before. This is better than an 8. This is better than an 8. Wow. I'm giving this apple a 9.2. Oh, Jesus. This is a good apple. I feel like we did not eat the same apple. Oh, my God.

This is a 9.2. Okay, 9.2. It's better than a Honeycrisp. 9.2. I think it's better than a Pink Lady, which was my previous... I think this might be my favorite apple. Wow.

That's bold. This is... Wow. So you ate your two favorite apples in the same podcast yeah I'm gonna continue eat I'm just gonna finish both of it let me well let me to actually that's a great point I'm gonna take a bite of the pink lady now fuck I don't know actually hmm he's got terrible Apple memory no it's this is a goldfish this is this is also a really good apple hmm i don't this might this might be this is this genuinely might be the lebron james versus michael jordan of apples it's what we're right now. These are two all-time greats. I don't know how to measure that. It's tough.

They both have different things. You know what? I think we're going to solve this in a year from next week. If the Cosmic Crisp holds for one whole year in a fridge, I think it's undeniably the greatest. Eric wrote, did you mix them up and bite Cosmic Crisp twice? No. How are we to be...

I'm making sure... I'm looking at the stickers on both. What's the Cosmic Crisp sticker? I just peeled it off. Oh, my God! It's somewhere. One sec. Where did I put it?

Did you have bad glue from your sticker? No. Yeah, I did, actually. I kind of noticed when I peeled it off. They got to work on that. Where did I put the sticker? i just literally peeled it off after you know i was thinking about what i got it 3507 3507 oh different batch different batch interesting uh you know what i was thinking we were talking about last week, or at some point in the past,

inventing our own apple. Yeah. And then some scientist comment lever really dissuaded me from it. It sounded complicated. But then I just had an idea. I was thinking about this earlier today, actually. I almost ate an apple.

I almost ate a Red Delicious that was in my kitchen, and then I was like, yeah, I don't want to. And you know what turned me away? I realized I don't like the apple skin we could if that's the only thing that keeps me from an apple oh i use my thought for those of us who don't like the skin i can't be the only one for those of us who don't like an apple skin i would someone should invent maybe it's us a skinless apple that grows that way you mean it rots on the tree well it wouldn't last a year but

hear me i got an innovative idea as well what if we invented a product that could peel an apple what about that well i think that probably if you could run it through and just you've never used one who used what the apple peeler who are you talking to well you're saying it to invent something but it already exists. Yeah, that was the fucking, I was being sarcastic, you pile of rubbish. You gotta work on, you gotta, you gotta work on sarcasm. What? You don't think I fucking know what an apple peeler is?

The apple guy, you think the apple guy doesn't know what an apple peeler is? Well, it didn't sound like sarcasm. I was being facetious you've got outrage down pat but sarcasm i'm gonna give you honestly two out of ten so jeff you're on my side with like whether or not that was real yeah no no for sure what i give him a two out of ten on on the sarcasm scale what do you think how do i can i retry it can i retry it i thought it was such a statement like it was so obviously false i i mean i i guess i could kind of see that so i'll give it a two but really it was just like i just thought

you didn't know what an apple peeler was okay well let me how do i hmm maybe it was just really good sarcasm let me yeah well i just don't drive how do i it's drier than a pink lady all right take two so what about this now that didn't that just sounded genuine that's it i don't know do i not know how to be sarcastic how do i be circuit no okay so what about this what if i don't know how do i wait you're close though wait okay somebody else say sarcastically and then I can copy that.

Oh, Jeff's the king of sarcasm. Go for it. What? How about we invent notes? Well, I don't... Apple peeler. That was so fucking great.

I can't believe that happened. That was funny. So, things we learned today. The F*** Face Podcast now is officially a rubbish podcast. We no longer say the T word. That's not good. The T word

has been stricken from the record. We know that Cosmic Crisp, Canadian Cos are 9.2 on the 10 scale, and Canadian humans are 2 even on the sarcasm scale. Thank you for listening to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast. You wasted your time but you did it with us we'll see you next week hey guys minor league fan Jack with a look at next week's episode the gang

talks the mummy Andrew has a sushi disaster Gavin makes a friend on a plane Jeff discusses celebrity cheese Panton is a marshmallow roasting genius the guys seal up their cosmic crisps and once again Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face.