Regulation Podcast - Gavin Learns About Knobs // The Most Expensive Flush [34]

Episode Date: January 20, 2021

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about selling bat handles, the best sequel, Geoff's broken toilet, and more. Sponsored by Tushy (http://hellotushy.com/FACE) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

welcome to episode 34 of face uh i am jeff and with me are gavin and andrew and uh what you guys wanted to talk about donkey kong some more you said no we're good with donkey kong i think we covered all our donkey k bases, but Eric... Jeff took a real interest in the fact that we talked about Donkey Kong. He seemed really fascinated. No, I didn't. We were having a conversation,

which I thought would actually be good for the episode, where Gavin talked about how our, I guess, I don't know what you would call it, our reviews of our own episodes are better than the episodes when we argue about what the episodes were like. And I pointed out that I thought that it was a good episode.

You guys had the good Donkey Kong conversation and you took it to be me being snotty or snide and insulting your Donkey Kong conversation. But I thought it was fantastic comedy. I don't know about that. All right, well, now it's worse almost. Yeah. Look, it was a quick story

about what we've been up to over Christmas, just threw it in. Now we're talking about it again. Jeff's clearly unhappy with it. I was not unhappy! He's like, it's like, I hate you. The more you talk about it, the more it feels like you're really happy with it. You're trying really hard. Should we send Jeff a Nintendo 64 so he can experience the joy of Donkey Kong?

I don't want to play it. I'll be honest. I've got something I want to run by you both. I was reading a comment left by one of those pesky comment leavers on our content. The comment leavers, yeah. But I didn't understand it at all. This is the comment. It was on an episode from a few weeks ago.

I assume we're talking about bat knobs and stuff. The comment reads as follows. Oh my God. This whole time I, for some reason was imagining the bat knobs as like the handles. I'm so stupid. They're just the knobs. This is the dumbest revelation I've ever experienced.

The person below said said you're not alone exact same thing happened to me i don't understand what they're talking about i do i get it i i do too yeah what does that mean they thought like the hand like you grab the knob you grab it by the knob is my interpretation of that thing not that the knob is like a support for your hand so it doesn't fly off the bat i'd assume that's the purpose of the knob, right? Yeah. Yeah. It's so that when you swing it, your hand hits it and so it doesn't fly off.

Yeah, exactly. So they're saying that they thought that you grabbed the knob and that the knob was a name for the handle. I think that's all that is. I don't think that

that was that complicated. They were just misconfused. I still don't understand it, but what did you just say? They think the handle, up until that moment, they thought the handle, you know, the part that you put both hands on that the handle, up until that moment, they thought the handle, you know, the part that you put both hands on that's wrapped in tape,

that's skinny, the skinniest part of the bat, that's called the handle. They thought that was the knob. They didn't realize the knob is the little door handle at the bottom of it, the little door knob at the bottom of it. I think we've now uncovered the problem. What do you mean, Gavin, is that not the knob? The knob is just the knob. The knob is the thing I burned 5,000 times.

Yeah. Well, I was imagining the bat knobs being like... A handle and a knob? The end plus a bit of handle. No. How much handle? The knob is just the knob. Maybe like a couple of inches of handle.

No. That's just the bottom half of a pad at that point that's not it it's not just the knob yeah you guys that's the knob and partial handle so even i didn't know what i was talking about that's yeah you were the one i think you pointed out this comment to be like look at how dumb these people are you were the idiot you have no idea well i was imagining it because when jack was like, it's like a door handle or like a cabinet knob, there's still a bit of extrusion from the cabinet. It's not just like a button.

Well, it depends on the handle. I mean, there are variables to it, but I could see a scenario in which it would be the same as like a door handle. Yeah. Okay, so there's a difference between the handle and the knob. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely.

But how do you know how far, where does the handle start then?. Yeah. Absolutely. How do you know how far... Where does the handle start, then? The handle starts when... What do you mean? Where the knob is. It's a baffling... They're very different things. No, not where the knob...

Where does the handle end on the other end of it? What do you mean? Oh, where's the other... It's where the... Where it gets wider. Yeah, where the bat starts to flare out. Okay. Where it starts to flare out. But you can also hold the bat starts to flare out. Okay. Where it starts to flare out.

But you can also hold the bat on the flare out because it's a bunt. And you get a bunt. Well, in that case, I think... Well, you also probably put pine tar on that part of the bat, which is a whole other thing. Well, in that case,

I think we should sell bat handles. Why? Because you could still put the logo down the side of it or engrave the knob on the end, but without shipping the whole bat. Do we... Listen, dude,

if we're selling bat knobs with handles attached, let's just sell the whole fucking bat. We're selling them 55% of the bat. Like, what a weird place to cut it off. It is strange. No, most of the weight and the length... Also, do we have any idea if one person bought a fucking bat anyway?

Oh, are they on sale? Today is January 7th. We're filming this. They come out tomorrow. We have no fucking clue if anybody... We might have to go and cut this part out because the bats did so badly that we want to pretend like it never happened.

Why would we do that? And so we edit it out like it never existed because it's so embarrassing. It's even better if it's embarrassing. No, I know. I know. I agree. And I think the bats will sell well.

I was just thinking of international shipping. I just think that we should... Trust me, dude. I mailed a bat to Andrew, which I'm assuming he doesn't have yet because he hasn't mentioned it. I mailed a bat to Andrew the day after I gave you your bat, Gavin.

When was that? They probably delivered the bat to the door that wasn't aligned with where he lives. That is actually a great question. Not only did they do that, but do you know how much it cost me the cheapest method

I could send a fucking bat, a novelty bat to Andrew was, was like 120 bucks. Seriously? Yeah. It's more than the bat. I think all the bats cost that much. I think you got ripped off. No, because it's a fucking irregular size.

It's not. It's like putting a poster tube or something. And I had to they went into a custom cut poster tube. It was a whole thing. It was like, with tax and everything, it was like $117 or something. Wow. Just to send him a fucking post or two it was a whole thing it was like it was like with tax and everything it was like 117 bucks or something wow just to send him a fucking stupid bat and he doesn't have it yet a bat handle you could put in an envelope a bat knob you could do the same you could put so many more bat knobs

in an envelope compared i don't think about knob is i don't think the knob on its own is a sell you could lose that in your pocket i think it's got to be something substantial you know it's crazy gavin you know it's absolutely nuts i've been waking up every morning and i flip my bat knob and every day it lands face up i've changed knobs i've done everything let's while we're talking while we're talking about old fucking done to death content and jokes how about uh let me go down my list here's one uh icky shuffle okay you you want to talk about the icky shuffle for a second uh you guys know that i have a tennis i take tennis lessons right yes emily and i have a have a take private tennis lessons. We did. Unfortunately, our tennis

instructor is going through some kind of a surgery. And so he's going to be out of commission for six months. So now we're shopping for a new tennis pro, I guess they call him a new tennis instructor. However, the last session I had with him was right before the end of the year. And after it was all said and done, I even forgot. Emily goes, hey, do you know a lot about, obviously, you're teaching tennis. You know a lot about tennis. And he goes, well, I certainly do. I grew up. I wanted to be a professional tennis player. I performed in high school, in college, semi-pro. I got my degree in kinesiology and sports medicine. And now I, or I don't know if he said sports medicine, but anyway. And i i became a professional tennis instructor he's like licensed and certified i

think he might have gotten gone gotten a master's degree or some shit anyway the guy has been living breathing tennis his entire life is this way you have to tell us he plays rugby now no no he's been living and breathing tennis his entire life emily asked him do you know what the sewing machine is and he goes i don't know what that is and she goes it's a drill and then she goes where you do this with your feet kind of and he goes the icky and i go excuse me he goes yeah the icky that's what we call it the icky is that what you're talking about and then he did it and i go yeah the icky he goes yeah like icky icky woods it's like the icky shuffle because i'd never heard of anybody call it the what do you call it they Shuffle. He goes, I've never heard of anybody call it the, what do you call it?

The sewing machine? And I go, yeah, you've never heard that at all? And he goes, nah, man, I've been doing tennis my whole life and teaching it and I'm an instructor and I've never heard that before. Sometimes people call it the Dion, you know, but that's a little different. They're miscategorizing it when they call the Icky the Dion

because Dion's is a little different. But as far as I know, in all tennis camps and wherever I've seen tennis instructed, we call it the icky. Is that all just, is that whole story just to say that the sewing machine isn't a popularized term for that drill? Cause we knew that already.

I just, I'm just giving you more information about a conversation that we had because I went out and I talked to an expert and I got, I got the sewing machine from an expert as well. So I don't know. Andrew's having none of it. No, there's no all you did. We all agree the sewing machine is not the popular name for that drill.

I've never argued that. Here's what we need to do. Let's get your tennis instructor and my tennis instructor to play. I'm pretty sure my tennis instructor is dead. Dead on winning, baby. Yeah. Yeah, I guess you would in that in that case sure how do you know that they're dead i just based on how old they were well i don't i don't remember one of them

just vanished and the other one they just stopped they just stopped being there i don't know what happened to them do you think it's like uh it's like a situation like your hairstylist where they uh they tried to hide from you and retire and move somewhere else and you just haven't found them yet to continue your lessons? I want to have a haircut so badly. I still haven't got my haircut. I need COVID to end for that. I mean, obviously, much more important reasons for COVID to end. I'm so excited to get a haircut.

I am too. I've thought about just shaving my head again. What's stopping you? That looks stupid. Jeff knows. Looks dumb. I actually thought he looked kind of charming. Was that with or without your beard on my head?

Well, obviously minus the pube stuff. But I actually thought he had... Wait, I didn't have the pubes. Or what? Yeah, you did, didn't you? Or underarm hair, whatever. No, you had my hair on... You did.

You had a pube mohawk. Oh, that was your beard. That wasn't your pubes. Oh, same shit, dude. It's my face pubes. Very nice pubes. I guarantee you, I guarantee you

if I shaved a bunch of my beard and a bunch of my pubes and put them in two different bags, you couldn't tell which was which. I could tell immediately. Are you kidding me? I've looked at your face for years of my life. There's way and i've seen your penis there's

wire that's true too wiry hair is wiry hair uh also i'm looking down the list of stuff i still want to talk about oh banana convo fruit conversation we already did that one yeah you covered it can we before we continue with your list just quickly just before we go too far away we're talking about nuts and the nut thing gavin and i part of our text conversation we didn't cover all of it we had the food thing but then we had another thing we'd like for you to settle what is a better sequel the peanut m&m or the snes what is a better sequel what is a better a peanut m&M or an SNES? Yes. We're talking about like best sequels, not movie related.

And I said the peanut M&M might be the best sequel of all time. If you like not viewing it in a film context. Your response to me saying that the SNES was amazing because you just threw out. I was blown away. Name a better sequel than the peanut M&M. And I just thought, well, you know, the Nintendo was good. The Super Nintendo was great. And Andrew wrote, Super NES is such a great pick.

If we were doing a draft of best sequels after you dropped SNES, I'd be like, this guy is out here to win. It's a great pull. I would never think SNES. I love video games. I just might. I would never go there, but it's such a good pick.

Here's why the answer is it is a great pick SNES, but the answer is definitely Eminem. Peanut Eminem. Based on what? Well, here's why I'll say they both did. They both did the same job, right right they took a really good and popular

item and they they improved upon them and they made them see i would disagree i would say that the original m&m isn't anything to write home about that was sort of my argument not great no i think the original well that that makes it even more powerful because the peanut m&m is a fucking home run in candy it's great like the peanut m&m is a fucking home run in candy. It's great. Like the peanut M&M is fantastic. So by even saying that, that marker makes the accomplishment of the peanut M&M that much greater. But isn't it harder? By your design,

it took something that wasn't any good and made it phenomenal. I argue that M&Ms are fine. I'm not a huge fan, but I think they're okay. I wouldn't kick an M&M out of bed. And so... But isn't it harder to improve on greatness

than something average? Here's why. Here's why the M&M, the peanut M&M is better than the SNES. All right? I think the SNES... I think the SNES... No, I got this.

I think the SNES is foundationally very important. And it was a part of the rich pastiche of the video game history and a very important brick on that wall. But it was a brick on a wall that continues to move and elevate. And it's been left kind of to the dustbin of history and relegated to nostalgia, right? The peanut M&M is as big as it's ever been, and I project it will continue to be as big going forward for many, many, many years to come. It's still the star of the M&M world. There are others. You could point to the S&ES. From the S&ES, you could go to the 64 and the Wii and the GameCube and all the other iterations of an SNES.

And you could point to peanut M&Ms, peanut butter M&Ms, like mint M&Ms, like whatever all the fucking Cadbury M&Ms, whatever the bullshit M&M flavors are that they do, like all the mashups and stuff, right? But the peanut M&M is still the fucking, it's still the Mike Tyson of M&Ms. It's still at the top of the game. It's still being sold in great quantities.

Nobody's going to a store right now and buying an SNES unless they're buying some little combo deal for a nostalgia play. But that's more of a statement on the market in video games. No, it's a statement on the enduring legacy of the M&M.

If the SNES was perfect, they wouldn't have iterated on it. We would still be playing the SNES. But it wasn't perfect at that time. They continued to improve it. That same argument. You could say that the M&M. If the SNES was perfect, they wouldn't have iterated on it. We would still be playing the SNES. But it wasn't perfect and they continued to improve it. That same argument, you could say that the M&M, the peanut M&M, is living in the past and they've not ever been able to replicate the success of it. They've never been able to

best it because it's still as great as it ever was. People aren't bored of the peanut M&M. I guarantee you, if I gave you an SNES, you'd be bored of it in a week and begging to play Cyberpunk. You're not going to get bored of a peanut M&M. It is what it is.

It's simple. Yeah, but that doesn't really make any sense. I don't eat a bag of peanut M&M's. It's a better sequel because it's still popular. It's still big. It's still doing fucking great numbers and huge success. There's still peanut M's still doing fucking great numbers and huge success there's still peanut m&ms commercials on tv famous actors and fucking voice actors play peanuts uh play peanut

m&ms on tv and have dumb conversations about eating each other that's true the world my daughter has never seen an snes yeah but just to counter just to counter that argument could you make an argument that maybe there are no consoles beyond the snes if it isn't what it is like the influence of them being able to carry forward that momentum because of the snes but you're kind of taking away the credit of all the other consoles saying that they they ever they evolved the platforms they advanced the technology no i think i think you're just i think it's just a but that doesn't happen if i think it's just a... But that doesn't happen if the SNES isn't what it is. I think it's just a poor apples-to-apples comparison. I mean, I assume the PS2 was a much better financial sequel,

but it didn't change the industry like the SNES. Also, Jeff, if Andrew's thrown in Peanut M&M and I've thrown in SNES, it was between that and Aliens, what would your sequel be that you would throw into this ring? Well, you said I can't do a movie, right? Yeah, let's not do movies. Yeah, movies are out. But I would say that would be my movie if we were picking them.

I appreciate the angle you went with, Jeff. Just let me say that. You went in a completely different direction. To me, it's a measurement of what's better, evolving on something that's complete dog shit, which I think the base M&M is terrible, or somehow making an improvement on a thing that people absolutely love, which is the NES. I appreciate that.

Yeah, they made a better version of a beloved thing. According to you guys both, they made a better version of something that you saw no value in. They created value out of something that you guys saw no value in. I'm assuming you guys like peanut M&Ms. Oh, yeah.

Or you wouldn't, yeah. It's a great candy. That's solid. Well, so I'm assuming you guys like peanut M&Ms. Oh, yeah. It's a great candy. That's solid. Well, so I'm going to assume that I should take media out of it. Like, if we're not doing movies, I shouldn't do a book or a song or an album or anything like that, right? I should do something weird. I think it should be a product.

A product. Best sequel. The best sequel product. Oh, man man i'm looking around my house you know what i this play-doh ever had a sequel i don't think play-doh's ever had a sequel that's pretty play-doh has always just been played yeah there's never been a play-doh too i don't think that's what about that sand shit that is dry when you pull it out of the fish tank been a Play-Doh 2, I don't think. That's pretty impressive. What about that sand shit that is dry when you pull it out of the fish tank? Is that Play-Doh, though? Or is that another company trying to move in on Play-Doh?

I don't know. It looked pretty cool. I always saw the ads for it. Never had it. Okay, okay, okay. Allow me to... I don't know if you guys will let me do this. I don't know if you guys will consider this. This is either going to be a huge letdown or you're going to blow both of ours out of the water.

I can't quite predict what's going to happen. I would say the best sequel... I don't think you guys are going to let this fly. I would say the best sequel is Alexa from The Clapper. What? The Clapper. Clap on, clap off, turn your lights off by clapping. I would say Amazon Alexa is the best improvement upon that of all time.

I think that's the best sequel. I don't know if they're different things, but... Do you think it's kind of harsh to call that a sequel to the clapper, though? Yeah. That's what I use my Alexa for. That's what I do. In response to something that detects a noise. Alexa, Alexa, Alexa, turn off living room lights yeah it just did it I don't have a clapper anymore

they do the same thing is a sequel to the candle no they do the they perform the exact same function but one does it a whole lot cooler and a lot more shit as well. That's my answer. You guys don't have to agree, but that's my answer. The Alexa is a much better version of the Clapper. That is... It's like saying the phone is the greatest sequel to the clock. Like, yeah, it tells the time, but look

at all the other shit it does. Cell phone is the best sequel to the phone. It's better than a cell phone than a rotary phone. Just take his. I gotta be honest. As funny as these answers are, they're pretty damn good sequels.

Yeah, the phone is. I know the Alexa thing is a little bit of a reach. The Alexa is so immensely far from the clapper. What would be a sequel to the phone, though? They perform... Answer me this question. What does the clapper do? What is the function of the clapper?

It activates something based on the sound of a clap. What does Alexa perform that function? Yeah, but it does a lot of other stuff. Exactly! It took it, it replicated the thing that the clapper did, and then improved upon it. The only criticism I have, Jeff, is that Amazon didn't that the clapper did and then improved upon it. The only criticism I have, Jeff, is that Amazon didn't make the clapper.

If they did, I'd be more aligned with this idea. I'd be more accepting of it. So you think the original production company has to make the sequel? Well, both of ours. That's a great question. Do you know anyone who had a clapper? Wasn't it for insanely wealthy people? That is not what I would assume a clapper? Wasn't it for like insanely wealthy people?

That is not what I would assume the clapper was for. No, I thought it was for trashy people who buy TV gimmicks. Oh, Eric says it was for old people. That's pretty good. Like an accessibility light switch. I tell you what, let's get Eric in here and and ask him what he thinks i was just reading a thread on reddit today about how people want more eric in the episodes they say eric needs to step up into the content i replied to that guy and just said this rules because he was so mean uh i think

i i really think that like the phone thing is good and i don't but here's the here's the issue is that i don't think it quite has the spirit of what we're trying to get at like there's there's too many steps removed between the phone and the cell phone that like i think that the peanut M&M really is like man that's a fucking good answer because as a kid I loved a regular M&M but fuck the first time I had a

peanut M&M it was like oh this blew the last thing out of the water what an incredible sequel I think it's hard to top a peanut M&M I really do I think it's hard to top a peanut M&M. I really do. I think that's a fantastic answer.

I'm right there with you, dude. I think it was the perfect answer initially. I like that you were agreeing with Andrew at one point, but then he kind of felt like didn't like the way that you were agreeing with him, so he started kind of pushing back. He disagreed with my agreement, so then he switched teams. No, I don't feel. He disagreed with my agreement, so then he switched teams.

No, no, no. I don't feel like I disagreed. I feel like I was trying to give you credit for the way you processed that was different than I did. I think I've thought of the best sequel of all time. What's that? I have one too. Wi-Fi. As opposed to what?

A cable internet connection. Yeah, that's good. The fact that I can... I don't know that that's a secret. Dude. I think that's similar to the phone conversation with Eric. I would say you'd have to go... There's too many steps in between.

I would say you could go from dial-up to cable. Yeah, but the moment I could type to people on MSN in my bed from going from MSN on the computer downstairs that was it was a game changer maybe the biggest one of all time i don't think that's any different than my clapper amazon alexa argument i think that wasn't i think you can't go people you weren't there using the clapper and then the next day the alexa came out there wasn't like a one jump to the other how when was the clapper from like decades ago yeah but like i i think but i think jeff is right where it's like you're leaping technology it's the spirit of it like

there's only one step from peanut like like regular m&m to peanut m&m or nintendo to super nintendo and i just think that like i agree with you that wi-fi was like game changing i just think that it's too far removed from the initial thing. Okay. Yeah, I can see that. I'll take that. I don't know who to give credit to for this one. Specific somebody would have had to have done it first.

The Stuffed Crust. Fantastic sequel. Whoever did that first. Eh. Great idea. Eh. Great idea. You're crazy. Eh.

Ridiculous. It looks better in the adverts. No, it's a great... Are you... Seriously? I'm in a minority opinion here that the stuffed crust isn't a fantastic thing?

It's fine, but here's the problem with stuffed crust, and I think Gavin will agree with me here. It's good immediately after it's been cooked. If that thing sits

for three minutes, it starts to get... Yeah, it's not great. You gotta have it so fresh. I don't... It's like eating oysters or squash blossoms. It's like eating oysters or squash blossoms. It's like oysters, squash blossoms, and stuffed crust go bad instantly.

Can I ask a question? Go ahead. Why in the name of Christ is a squash blossom? It's a blossom that falls off of a squash or that you pick off a squash, and they're fucking phenomenal. People put, like, lamb heart in them or, like, ground beef or, like, different kinds of things. I don't put lamb heart in it. I think

that's gross, but I've cooked them for you, Gavin, because I used to cook, I used to grow squash and then I would make squash blossoms and they're only good for about like six hours. So you have to like cook them and then immediately or like pull them and immediately cook them and they taste like, I don't know how to describe it. They just taste really fucking good. Edible

yellow flower. Yeah, they're just fucking delicious. But they're barely, the window of them being good is kind of like an oyster. You want to have it immediately. Can I ask a question? Sorry to the one guy who doesn't like when I chime in. I just wanted to ask a quick question to settle a bet for you. The one guy?

Yeah, just real quick. You were talking about the squash blossom and then edible flower. Okay, can you eat any flower? Is like a flower, it's not necessarily, like, food, but, like, if you were to, like, grab a flour and, like, start eating it, you'd get looks, but you could eat a flour, right? Some are probably toxic, like a mushroom. I think you could eat a single, well, no, that's absurd.

There's definitely, there has to be a bad flour out there that will take you down, but I think the majority, you could eat one of them and be fine. Like, I wouldn't eat a Venus flytrap. Right, but I wouldn't think I would get sick from eating a rose. No. Or like a daffodil. What? Alright, how about this? Let's eliminate squash blossoms

because we know they're flowers for food. Think of all the flowers you can think of in your head. What looks like the yummiest flower? I was just thinking the same thing. What would you assume is the most delicious flower? I think I have an answer. Passion flower. They look delicious.

I think a tulip. I think a tulip would be nice. I think a tulip looks delicious. It comes in different colors, which would give us the idea that it comes in a lot of different flavor and variety. It's the fruit loops and flowers. Yeah, I think it's succinct in size.

I think it'd be easy to bite into. I think a tulip. Yeah, I think it looks the most like a fruit. Like it kind of looks like a pepper, a bell pepper. Yeah, I think a tulip is like a solid, like eating a tulip is like going to like a $30 a meal restaurant. Like, it's just really good. You expect to get dinner.

I think, I think like, I think if you wanted to really blow it out of the water, you'd eat an orchid. That would be like. That'd be like an $80 meal. Yeah. Yeah. That'd be like a $100 steak, right? Yeah. You'd eat a fucking orchid.

That would be like, we're splurging tonight, honey. We're eating orchids. I agree. That is definitely the top of the flower pyramid what about like a lily pad oh i think that would be fucking it'd be like eating seaweed gross and watery yucky and it would taste like frog slime it'd be on the plate like under the flower that you want to eat yeah exactly Exactly. Wherever you're going,

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Enjoy your room upgrade. Wherever you go, we'll go together. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamx. Benefits vary by card. Terms apply. What a... Do you guys... Do you guys think we should talk at all about the situation that's going on with my

toilet oh boy uh i don't think i've seen someone laugh harder over text than andrew at your bog problem very happy it was great i feel bad i feel a little bad about it because it's awful but i mean it's pretty funny i've been i've been debating on a little bad about it because it's awful. But I mean, it's pretty funny. I've been debating on whether to talk about it and then debating on whether to talk about the genesis of the whole thing. I think you have to. Yeah, I think you should take it from the beginning. At this point, you've gone too far.

I'm going to take it from the beginning. And I'm going to start off by saying, because I know she's going to be horrified, my mother will be vindicated throughout the course of this conversation. My mom came to visit in October, November. We were very safe. We got tested before she came.

She got tested before she came. We all quarantined. And then she stayed with us for a month. And I'll hold that. Okay, sorry, the dog was looking. Dog's missing his ball, but I can't get it right now. Anyway, so Henry, buddy, I love you,

but you're gonna have to wait until Daddy finishes the story. I'm not Daddy. Until Stepdad finishes the story. Okay. You okay? Yeah, I just can't get the ball for Henry. I'm not gonna crawl under the sofa right now.

I understand your dilemma. I'm just, okay. I love the dog. I just love the dog so ball for Henry. I'm not going to crawl under a sofa right now. I understand your dilemma. I'm just... Okay. I love the dog. I just love the dog so goddamn much. Clearly. Clearly. He's just like...

He's like my best friend in the world. Sorry, guys. Yeah. These days. We just... I spend more time with Henry than anybody else, including my other dog, Arrow. Anyway. Stepdad.

So, fucking... Well, I, you know, I didn't... I wasn't there when they got Henry as a baby or anything. You know, I came late. Yeah. A puppy. There you go.

Dog baby. Okay. So here's the story. So my mom comes to stay with us for a month. She comes in after like the third day and she goes, I am, she just looks mortified. I feel so bad for her.

She, and she goes, I, I'm really sorry, but I clogged the toilet. Or your toilet's clogged. I didn't do anything. I just peed, and it's clogged. And so I spend like 20 minutes unclogging it. It's just brutal. And I get it unclogged. And I'm like... Then it becomes a joke for me. I'm like, well, I just spent 20 minutes unclogging the most viscous pee ever I guess so I'm definitely bringing this up on the podcast and my mom was

like please don't talk about this in the podcast and I was like she's like this that's horrible it's horrifying and so I didn't I wasn't I was just gonna use it as a threat for pretty much the whole time she was here it's like anytime she annoyed me I'd be like well I can always talk about it on the podcast and then

she left and there were no more toilet. There was like it got clogged like one more time while she was here. But it became a joke, you know, in the family. And then my mom left and then the other day, Millie said that the toilet was clogged and so I unclogged it for her. And then

like another day later, I went in and I just, it was, I, the toilet was fine and I just peed in it and then i flushed and just brown doo-doo water came out as soon as i flushed and i was like like came back up the clean water yeah yeah yeah came back up the clean water like and i was like oh my god i've never seen that that's like what happens in a movie this is like money pit you know and so i call a plumber and he goes in and uh he puts a camera in the toilet and in through the the escape valve thing or whatever and uh my house is pretty old uh i think it was built in the 30s maybe and so uh it was built with cast iron pipes which is not that i mean

it's it's uncommon now they don't use them anymore it was pretty uncommon back then my other house that i lived in before here had cast iron pipes as well that i had problems with um anyway that's the stuff that you're not supposed to wash to keep the flavor cast iron yeah that's the stuff you're speaking if we were cooking if we were cooking like jambalaya or something yeah you want to uh like it or if you were like seasoning a steak or something yeah uh however so i've got these cast iron pipes one of those pipes uh turns out it collapsed and i got to see the video of it and the video looks like something you mentioned aliens earlier it looks like something from alien or aliens

where they're going through the tunnels it's just like it's like's like PVC, PVC, PVC, a little bit of metal. Now it's dark and a little rusty. And then the gates of hell have opened up and there's bugs and worms and the fucking side is caved in. And there's just like, it's just, it's like a horror show.

It's like you, it's just, it's hideous. It would, Gavin, you would throw up if you looked at the camera footage. So is it like just cracked open and spewing your fecum all under your house?

Under my house, yeah. Well, anytime we flush it, what happens is it goes down, it hits this obstruction, it goes over it and washes over it, and it takes some dirt and stuff with it. But yeah, but then like every once in a while it would build up and back up, which is what happened there. We got that cleaned, but then like every once in a while, it would build up and back up, which is what happened there. We got that cleaned, but I still have this fucking pipe. Unfortunately, I just had my,

I spent six months getting my front yard redone. And that was a whole thing and very expensive and went 50% over budget. And that was a nightmare. So anyway, the guy goes, all right, you got two options here. He goes, well, it's going to be, it's going to be 10 grand to fix your bathroom.

Yeah, $10,000. And he goes, however, here's the additional problem I have for you. I think I have a picture that I took of the screen of the dirty toilet I was gonna, oh God, yeah. Let me send that to you guys right now. Oh boy.

It is hideous. Okay, anyway, so he was like, but the real problem is you've got cast iron pipes everywhere under your kitchen and stuff too. And so you need to have all that replaced because that shit's going to collapse any minute now too. And so that's got to, I got to tunnel 35 feet under your house to do it. And that's going to be, that's $40,000. Oh my shit. No, that's $40,000. Oh my shit.

No, Gavin, it's my shit. And it's all in my front yard, under my front yard, under my house. And it's going to cost $10,000 to fix, $40,000 potentially. So I got a second and a third opinion. And the second and the third opinion both agree that I may not have to do the rest of the house. If the cast iron looks to be in pretty good shape. But at a minimum, they're starting in like a week

that's going to take at least one to two weeks, probably two weeks because there's so much construction in Austin right now. Permits are backed up and they have to hire an engineer to come out and inspect the hole because they have to dig a tunnel under my house through my front yard by hand,

then get under the house, then support the foundation and all that. Then they have to have an engineer come in and certify it that it's safe that they can work and that the house is safe for us to live in. And then we have to get permits and an inspector has to come. And so it's going to be like two...

So I haven't had a toilet now for two weeks. And I'm not going to have it for another three weeks, probably. Minimum. And then maybe way more if they end up having to replace all the other pipes. It was really funny. I feel terrible. But it's pretty funny. Yeah, Andrew was just good.

I've never seen. I agree with Gavin in that it might be the. I could tell Andrew was having trouble breathing I was crying laughing when I was reading it, it was great and I was like, I was fucking mad and frustrated and needed a little bit of friendship and y'all had

so much fucking fun laughing, I didn't think I didn't think I was making too much fun no, not at all, I said I could do it I said I could do it for cheaper. Yeah, we did that after. You're initially sympathetic. Jeff said it was a $40,000 quote,

and I immediately just started laughing. He did. It's so expensive. You just want shelves. I don't even think your shelves are done. Oh, my God. Are your shelves done? Yeah. Oh, dude, I'm recording for the first time ever an episode, I don't even think your shelves are done oh my god are your shelves done? yeah

I'm recording for the first time ever an episode the last episode and this episode are in the spot in the place congrats it feels great it feels awesome

you got your new office with your broken computer yeah that reminds me yeah my PC doesn't work that reminds me let me know if I sound weird because I didn't really do any testing or anything I just assumed it would work thanks man i mean i did the very first thing i did was the ad reads the last batch of ad reads in here so those already aired i think um on this week's episode

but yeah i you know i'm i'm in i'm finally done by the way the fucking library got finished and it was nine days later that my toilet broke so uh i had nine days i had nine days of of of like beautiful perfect house harmony before i found out that they're gonna rip up the entire front yard i just spent six months how did that not come up in the inspection by the way it didn't it didn't it didn't come up in the inspection it's a great question i even didn't it didn't come up in the inspection it's a great question i even went back and i fucking looked i have like a 55 page report on the inspection and it didn't register any issues how do i add a fucking i'm not trying yeah i don't see this picture where'd you put it yeah i keep sending it just as compressing every time i try to send it

so i'm keep trying to resend it uh i was just thrilled as well by the concept of a $40,000 toilet flush. It's the most expensive singular flush that I'm aware of. Outside of like, there's that McMillions documentary and the guy flushed a million dollar game piece. That's, I guess, a million dollar flush technically. But as far as people I know, I've never heard of a more expensive flush. $40,000. Dude, that's brutal.

Oh, it's the nightmare of my life yeah so what's gonna be what do you think will happen after this pipe nightmare is over what will be the next thing here's what I'm gonna do I'm gonna text this to you two idiots and then you put it to the discord so for some reason I cannot get it to the discord

what is the most expensive flush you've ever had Gav any price wasn't my flush it was my mom's flush. Well, I mean, if I've eaten a fancy meal, does that count? Nah, I guess. Yeah. Sure. That counts.

Yeah. I once had like a really nice sushi meal in Vegas. Okay. So that was probably it. But once again, you know, it's like that. I don't want to keep it. No, fair enough. And it doesn't retain its value.

Oh, what is that? That's the inside of my PVC pipe where all the poop and mud and rusted metal and stuff are. Oh, it looks like. Oh, it looks. Yeah, it looks like it looks like chocolate cornflakes. It looks like it looks like what it is, Gavin. It's shit and rust and dirt and mud and bugs and shit. And definitely feces.

It's weirdly so gross, it's not gross to look at for me. The first one looks like a steak. Yeah. You wouldn't eat a box of this gavin oh tasty treat is this the best sequel to cornflakes no this might be the worst sequel of all time oh oh you know what's a good sequel what the sequel uh checks mix from check cereal are they connected yeah i never made that i think so i think checks mix would be the sequel to check cereal they took checks and they

made it better they made it more they made it something new and different using the same ingredients and then added to it maybe crunchy nut is the best sequel to cereal cheerio with cereal with cornflakes. Oh! Oh, fucking Captain Crunch Crunch Berries is an amazing sequel to Captain Crunch, which is an amazing cereal. It's not really mainstream enough. I don't think that's internationally huge. You don't think Captain Crunch is mainstream?

Nah, it's sort of North America mainly. Oh. I guess so. I mean, to me, Captain Crunch is like, it's like a top three cereals of all time. I guess the captain doesn't have any, his rank doesn't. It's out of his jurisdiction. Yeah.

That's a shame. I realized that the Mac and Mac and Cheese stands for macaroni yesterday. That was the thing I realized. What did you think it was? Macintosh. I never just thought about it i put it in mac yeah i just i never questioned it i finally asked myself the question of what is the mac and the mac and cheese and i macaroni it was an immediate realization i just never pieced the two together until yesterday you know what i had a similar thing i thing. I had a similar thing the other day

where I was riding my bike downtown. In Austin, we have a lake, like Town Lake, that runs through the city, and there's an extensive amount of bike and hiking trails and shit around it. And so I was on the river, on the lake,

riding my bike, and I drove by, my bike ride by the Chive, you know, that place, that place that uh that the website that that sure they whatever they they post pictures of chicks

and jokes and memes and stuff or whatever and they have like this crazy facility I've actually been there once I went there with with Meg actually because I did a photo shoot there with her and they had like a whiskey bar and a fucking slide to go from the second floor to the first floor and it's every like every tech bro thing you could imagine in the world was there uh but it was i can't believe you went through with it they were you know i

lost the bet or something or agreed to it uh but uh anyway uh so i rode my bike by there and i think about that day every time i ride by there how awkward and weird that day was uh yeah it was just fucking bizarre and now none of those people from the tribe wanted me anywhere near that building and they just had to fucking stomach me because i went with your girlfriend who insisted i'd be a part of it it was very funny uh you'd go through with it yeah no i did and uh i'm up for anything dude anyway i was driving my bike by it and then it hit me and i looked and i was like oh that's that place where the the chive is and then and i have never understood that name like why would you name i like chives i think chives are great i love my baked potatoes but like i never understood where the genesis of that name came

from and then it hit me i bet it's the kive i bet it's short for archive because it's like an archive of memes and photos of hot chicks and stuff and i bet it was never meant to be the chive i bet the chive came from the mispronunciation of kive is that what it is i don't know in my head that's what it is well you didn't even bother to check you thought i was just telling other podcasts good enough did good enough did get did andrew check that Mac stands for macaroni, or did he just assume? No, it's just so obvious. My point was that mainly it was just a super obvious name. I think it's pretty obvious.

I think it's pretty obvious that no one in their right mind would name something the chive. No, I'm gonna... You think they'd more likely name it the chive? I don't know! I'm gonna fucking... Where... Andrew, where did did the

name of the chive come from I'm just guessing uh it's already done I put it in the thing

oh uh oh I was wrong that makes even more sense it was like a play off the onion uh

I guess I will say that the the chive being named after the onion is funny but i don't know how i don't know that's broad enough to make sense i think i think my my answer makes more sense than theirs i think it would have been interesting if it turned out to be true well who's to say what's true have you told anybody this no just you guys just now okay i had the thought of my bicycle for like it's true have you told anybody this no just you guys okay I had the thought of my bicycle for like it's the fact you didn't check this at all is baffling why would I

check why would I it made sense in my head because you're saying it as a fact you don't I didn't say it was a fact I never said it was a fact I said I bet I feel like you presented it in a way of like you also had an insight into something and your insight yeah like i thought it was gonna be like i guessed it right i nailed it but it's just uh an unfinished when the fuck have i ever had insight i had um i had like a deconstructive word moment where i was talking to someone about uh something that i reacted to at the time but then i was thinking about how i felt about it later and i was like yeah i was telling them all this stuff and they were like oh why didn't you tell me at the time and I was like well I just

I've just given it more of like a retroactive perspective on it and I was like oh no there's a word there's already a word for that this retrospective is exactly those two words smashed together but I'd never I'd never considered that that word is those two words I also haven't verified that that's probably true though yeah well

until you verify it, for all I know, mac and cheese stands for McKilzio and cheese. Famous Italian chef McKilzio. I like that I said that I learned what mac and cheese meant a day ago, and you somehow told a

dumber story. That's what I'm here for, man. What, that I came up with a fake etymology for a dumb website? I just said that's what I thought up on my bike ride when I was riding my bike.

I was like, what's a stupid name? Where would they arrive at? The kind of company... Oh, fuck. This doesn't say good things for rooster teeth, though. Let? Like the kind of company... Oh, fuck. This doesn't say good things for Rooster Teeth, though. Let's say the kind of company that would name themselves something that stupid, but then also gets to have a building in downtown Austin that's all to their own on a river.

Like, it just doesn't make any sense to me. But then we named a company Rooster Teeth. You also had a building downtown in Austin. I know! Shut up! I've got to try and find a list of... What would that be? A list of stuff that is obvious but a lot of people don't know?

Like, I feel like mac and cheese. Most people know that's macaroni. What am I looking for? I want to find a big list and present them to Andrew. I think I just need a journal. I just need to write a journal down of all these thoughts. Read it one day. Yeah, but the thing is, you probably don't know a lot of what you don't know. No, it's true, but I come across things pretty frequently. I'm like, I didn't know that. The teenage thing was like a fucking, that was crazy.

You need to be writing everything down so that we can put it in the zine. I also think potentially once we're past the zine, or maybe this could be a part of the zine, we need to release a book. You know how like some successful TV shows, they'll eventually release the scripts as like a hardback or something. We need our texts, like a collection of our best text conversations

as a book at some point. We just need to have more conversations. Because it's gold. It's good stuff. I feel like if we reread our conversation where you're criticizing me about only making knobs out of the same material out of wood, knowing that you didn't know what a knob was,

it'd be interesting to reread that because you're very much against me in that conversation. And you just didn't know what a knob was. You mistook the knob for that. Yeah, that's a great point, Andrew. Because Gavin's idea of what a knob was would have produced so many fewer knobs yeah yeah but if i was the one suggesting we sell the knobs then technically i was the one who was right and everyone else was wrong i'd uh i don't

know how that works it's a lot of some gymnastics there as a leader yeah yeah i don't i think i think you might be right. Who would you even tell to say, I want bats that are cut in half, but not too. Not in the middle. I want like 30% of a bat.

Could you please make me a bunch of 30% bats? It would probably be like the bottom 20% is what I was considering selling. You know what you need? You need to partner. You need to fit the logo on it. Yeah. I feel like the only thing that you can like work with those,

the, the, like the bat mug things. I feel like you want the other half of that. I feel like that's perfect for what you're dreaming. Like that's the part. They don't want. I want the off cuts of the bat mugs.

Exactly. Maybe we could reach out to that company. Yeah. Although they certainly, they don't make a full bat for those. What's the dumbest thing you could sell? A bat knob is pretty fucking dumb. I mean, a wetsuit gut is pretty dumb

because it's expensive to make. Oh, I forgot about the wetsuit gut. So you could have, yeah, that was a good one. Keep your eye on it. And I think that there'd actually be a use to them and that would be the mouse mat.

I think a wetsuit gut would make a great mouse mat. You know what I think would be dumb to sell? What? Coffee mug handle. Ooh. So we decided the best sequels, the dumbest product to sell. Yeah, it's like,

what are you going to do with a coffee mug handle did you see those defective ubisoft mugs that were great where the handle was in backwards the handle was in the cup it's a great product that's a fantastic dumb product no they made like it was i think it was done on purpose you could resell broken coffee mug handles as draw pulls. Eric, find them. They're like ceramic. How do you fix them? There we go. Thank you. Look at how great that is.

That's a great dumb product. So wait, that wasn't done to be funny? They didn't present it as it being done to be funny, but it's so funny you feel like it has to be on purpose. They said that was a genuine bug in their, like, processing, but it's so funny. That's, yeah, that's very funny.

That is really funny. I'm mad we can't sell a f*** face inward mug. Yeah, they f***ing stole our idea that they had first and then that we came up with afterwards because we saw that. Yeah. Sons of bitches. I mean mean we could sell that right it'd be like making them would be the weird thing but they don't own mugs ubisoft doesn't own mugs do you think i've come across noticeably stupider in the last two episodes i think you're tripping up on stupid or it's a rough one. I think I'm in trouble.

I think you're doing two episodes. What'd you say? I'm fucking on the end of my rope. I'm losing it. Maybe today was the wrong day to do two episodes. This fucking country, this fucking year.

I'm losing my mind. I'm sitting, I got a fucking car'm losing my mind. It's 2023, we're in a new year. I'm sitting, I got a fucking car buried under my house shitting on itself. That's what I'm excited about. I never said that. When they dig up your entire yard and it turns out your house is on a burial ground, that's what I'm really excited about.

Dude, what I'm excited about is when they dig up my yard and they find that I have foundation problems and then they're going to be like, oh, yeah, your house is sinking. Yeah, this is way worse than we thought. The plumbing. I'm excited to hear a dude go. I'm excited to hear a dude with a hard hat lean on a shovel with a fucking sweat stain around his neck and go, I'm going to be honest with you, buddy.

Plumbing is the least of your problems. That's what I'm excited to hear. Plumbing is the least of your problems. That's what I'm excited to hear. Plumbing's the least of your problems. You do everything in the wrong order somehow. I like that you've done the yard over a completely useless dead pipe. That was the first thing I did in the house. Maybe you should move.

That's not true. That's not true. The first thing I did in the house was replace the entire air conditioning system and some of the ducting when the AC went out in the second week of living here. That was the very first thing I did.

I feel sorry for you. It's unfortunate how funny it is because I do feel sorry for you. It's just all your problems are happening in the wrong order and are obscenely expensive one after another. Yeah. Well, you know, thank God for insurance

and savings and stuff and and i'm just fingers crossed that i am only going to replace my bathroom pipes and not the kitchen as well because then it's like you know i'll have to be i'll have to i'll have to sell you my new car i think you should just do the kitchen i go back and forth man i don't know i'm on the fence you probably redo the fences too i got shit i'm on the fence is't know I'm on the fence you probably redo the fences too I got shit I'm on the fence I'm on the fence and I got I gotta jump into shit on the left or piss

on the right I don't know which way to jump they both suck if it's you one after the other I think you go piss first based on your track record I think you go piss and then you shit I am not gonna be happy if pissing my pants becomes like a routine thing though isn't it weird that you can't shit without pissing unless you're shitting your pants yes

yes yes how fucking annoying is that well i think that's better is it annoying yeah i think it's a good thing i think it's just that you can't shit a nice fail in general. A nice fail safe. Oh. Yeah. Aye, aye, aye. Hey, let me ask you guys a question, Andrew and Gavin. Uh-huh. Since the last episode, have either of you had a baby or gotten married?

No. Not yet. No. Okay. Unfortunately, no. No. Okay. Just want to make sure.

Apparently, that's a question we need to ask between episodes because stuff comes up. We should also ask, is Andrew wearing pants or underwear? Underwear.

Yeah, absolutely. Have you ever done a f*** face in Winnie the Pooh mode? That's a good question. No, I don't think so. Because we didn't record when my ankle was really bad. Andrew? No, I don't think so. Yeah. Would you be willing to? Of course.

What if we did an all-Pooh episode where we're all dressed and we all just have fucking shirts on and no one just dicks out I don't know I don't know what that adds I don't know what that adds

maybe we'll call it the Donald maybe don't go poo because that's yeah we do like we all like the Donald Duck episode the Donald Duck episode we're just all like maybe it'll be funnier

maybe we'll be more relaxed we'll be freer maybe we'll find it to be bonding maybe it'll be funnier. Maybe we'll be more relaxed. We'll be freer. Maybe we'll find it to be bonding. Maybe it'll be horrifying and we'll agree that we, it was so bad we never release it and don't talk about it. But it'd be fun to find out.

I don't feel like it'll have an impact on anything, but I'm willing to. Dude, I would be a different person if I was sitting in this chair right now with my balls like melting to the leather chair. I guarantee you you it would change my mood. Whether it would elevate it or lower it, I don't know.

Donald Duck was created in 1934, so maybe for episode 34. That's this episode. Oh. Shit. You know what? We gotta wait for another hundred. You know what? I think you might be onto something,ff why is that did you take your pants

off yeah because initially i felt no different at all maybe 20 seconds it definitely there's a different vibe now what are you talking about i don't i'm donald ducking describe the vibe it uh i don't know it feels there's an uneasiness that didn't exist before i feel more vulnerable i feel like well i mean it's episode 34 i'm gonna have to find it feel like you're flying by wire It feels there's an uneasiness that didn't exist before. I feel more vulnerable. I feel... It's episode 34. I'm going to have to feel like you're flying by a wire, right? Yeah, it feels a little dangerous. All right, here's what I'm going to do.

Because Millie's home. I'm going to have to tell her not to come into the room for a second. I'll be right back. Hold on. Have her feed the dog. I'll be back. Hey, I'm going to take my pants off for a minute. Shut the car. I'll let you come out. all right i hope i'm not the only one because all my balls are already stuck

oh yeah what's what's your chair what's your chair situation because i'm on a i'm on like a nice fabric chair. Honestly, my main emotion that I'm feeling new is that I feel like I'm going to have to wash the chair and I'm uncomfortable putting my bare ass on this chair. I feel comfortable because nobody else sits here, except for Emily sometimes, but she's dealt with worse for me.

And it's a cheap chair i bought on like uh wayfair or something it's like an imitation leather office chair it was just like it was just meant to be a like a a stop gap for the pandemic you know because i didn't ever want to have an office here so i was in the i was already going to get rid of it so i'm not even going to clean it i'm just going to leave uh i'm just going to leave my butt juice on it and is your balls and knob touching the chair? My ball, let me see. My balls are, they were kind of trapped by my legs. Hold on.

Yeah, mine are, because I don't have, because I've just pulled mine down, it's kind of compressing my legs into themselves. Yeah, I put my- Which is in turn lifting my genitalia up onto my legs. All right, so I was in the same situation, but I just have put my pants all the way down to my ankles and it's allowed me to V out a little bit

more. My balls are super resting on the chair. It's nice. Andrew, what about you? It's warm. I'm kind of like a front chair sitter, so I got a little bit of a dangle going. You're a front chair sitter.

You're perched. Yeah, I'm kind of perched right now. I got a little bit of a dangle going. You're a front chair sitter. You're perched. Yeah, I'm kind of perched right now. I got a little bit of a dangle. I got a sweet dangle going. Are your balls dangling off the edge? I'm dangling as well. That's a good thing. Gavin, Gavin.

He's also a front chair sitter? Yeah. Gavin, dangle. All right. I'm dangling now too. It's cool. Nick isn't editing these, right? He's going to be on break

for this one, too? He's going to be away? Yeah, he's going to be on break for this one. Okay, great. Eric's my new favorite. Nobody tell Nick. Okay, so now I'm...

It's breezy. It's cold. My balls are hanging down. Wow. Which one of your balls hangs lower than the other? Do you guys have a ball, like one ball that's always hangs down lower than the other do you guys have a ball like one ball that's always hangs this is like one step away from being like a medical exam

over the podcast format it's my left of podcast it's my left ball for sure uh my left ball's got a lot more hang in it i think mine used mine used to be the left but then it got stapled down well stop i guess you had a ball problem before, right, Gavin? Like, didn't it get in a knot or something? What happened to your balls? Yeah, it twisted around. It twisted around. Torsion, testicle torsion.

I had that happen recently. I think I had that happen. It was like, what was your, was it like just moving anywhere extremely painful? I mean, that happened a few times, but when it actually went full torsion, I mean, there's no way you wouldn't know that you would have it you would have to go straight to hospital like it it

became like the size of an orange well you said it was turning black too right like you were a couple hours from losing it it was gonna die yeah well i didn't see it was they had to cut it open to see it but uh jesus yeah i think i had half recently i had a half torsion scenario was no fun yeah i guess i had like a kinked line to the point where it would sort of partially twist and then cut off blood and then it would untwist and eventually it just went all the way and and it was no good that's alarming i don't that was the worst christmas day ever it was like christmas dude i was watching something you talk about how like how quickly your balls like because when you said like you were like an hour or two from your ball dying

yeah that's what the surgeon said yeah i was watching this i was watching this thing the other day where dr drew was uh watching videos of uh anus is prolapsing oh my god and uh like importance and stuff and he was saying that that's super dangerous too because that tissue like if it gets kinked at all your anus will die real fast and you could just lose your whole butthole to a prolapse very very dangerous don't ever prolapse your butthole if you can avoid it that sounds terrible yeah blood flow very important to all of those things well i was half torsion it was as there's a lot of pain moving anywhere and so i tried to correct it by doing a ball flip like I did a twist of it

I didn't know which way to twist though. I guess I just guessed I took it. It was a bold move It's like when you don't know where to spin the twist ties. I just grabbed it, and I did a counterclockwise roll immediate relief Agony to touch it though at first oh it was awful It was a lot of pain, but it was even worse moving anywhere. So I was like, I just got to correct this. I don't know which way I got to turn it. I think this is a turn situation.

I did a half flip. I probably would have, thinking back on it, I think I could have corrected it with small vibrations. Really? Yeah, maybe just rustling the entire sack would have naturally turned it back. What do you think would have happened andrew if you had turned it the wrong way nightmare i'm probably in a hospital

i assume you think you'd have blacked out i think i would have blacked out immediately yeah for sure without my pants are back on by the way i didn't dangle for very long i'm still hanging i'm not dangling anymore i'm sitting back in the seat because of posture, but my balls are fucking cozy between my legs. Overall, I didn't enjoy the experience. Yeah, I don't think this is great. I didn't say I had a great time. It's just, it's a need.

Both times I Donald Ducked it, it was a need situation. Look, I'm not, I don't know what y'all are talking about. I think this is awesome. In a chair, I don't know. I'm not hating this at all. Eric, how you feeling about your dick being out?

I think this has been a great episode of face. I want to thank everyone for tuning into episode 34. And I want to say thank you for everyone who made the bats such a success. Wow. Incredible stuff. Don't forget to subscribe. Leave us a five star rating and we'll see you next time on another episode. He doesn't know how the bats did. They're on another episode of He's Lying To You.

He doesn't know how the bats did. They're not out yet. It's only January 7th. You think Sitting With Your Dick Out is the best sequel to Sitting Normally? No. It's definitely not. We'll see you next time.