Regulation Podcast - Gavin Tries the Breadclip // Opening the F**kface Vault [110]

Episode Date: July 6, 2022

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about Gavin doing the breadclip, Jake's tums/tooms vs Rolaid/Rolex, Papa John's Branston pickle pizza, Geoff's pool hole, bean hole video, Whippersnapper, Andrew learns about the royals, Shaq's wal mart purchase, basketball, and uneventful lives. Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to [e-mail] Sponsored by HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/face16 + code face16), Better Help (http://betterhelp.com/face), and Shopify (http://shopify.com/face). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a Rooster Teeth production. it's very small it's a very small thing i keep losing it i got it to no i didn't throw it away aircast did i throw it away i didn't throw it away i tightly wound up a bag that had two bagels in it and i was like this could hold it and i got it to the point where it did prevent it from opening the bag then i took a bagel out and i put on my desk and then i moved it somewhere from that i don't it's somewhere on my desk i think but it's very small you've been there didn't you it's tough to find i definitely did not bin it well i've got the bread clip hit what episode is this by the way all right hold on a second i'll do that hello and welcome to the 110th episode of the F*** Face Podcast. My name is Jeff Ramsey. With me, as always, Andrew Panton

and Gavin Free. One's from England, one's from Canada. Doesn't matter which. I'm from America and Gavin, you're gonna try an experiment. I think I was supposed to do this in 108 and I forgot, but I now have the bread clip and some bread. First off, how does it feel?

Like, let's give it some audio texture. How does it feel in your hand? What is it? Sturdy? Do you like the magnet? Well, the first thing I've noticed is that it's made of metal, but that bit isn't magnetic. It has a separate magnet on it. It's got a little magnet on it.

Sort of defeats the whole purpose, in a way. But, all right. Got some bread. Gonna try it now. Because in my head, there's no way I wasn't going to get this on here. But here a way. But, alright. Got some bread. Gonna try it now. Because in my head, there's no way I wasn't gonna get this on here. But here we go. Let's try.

Yeah, no, it was the same and then I got a loaf and it's really difficult. You need to really wind it tight. You need to make the top narrow and you need to slide it up. There's no putting it through the front. You gotta slide it in the hole.

It's a slide mechanism. Well, wait. is it a full loaf of bread that you're trying to do? How much bread is in this bag? I'm just, I'm not using the bread bit. You're just using the bag? What do you mean? Is it just an empty bag? No, it's got like the nubs

on the end. You fucking, well, wait, that's what I'm asking. I'm asking how much of the loaf is in the bag probably why does it matter I'm not because it's a way I get the neck it's a weight differential for the bag and the maneuverability of it has a full loaf you don't have the same maneuverability in the back I've done this before have you done this Jeff have you tried this yeah okay well I didn't know that okay i tried it first oh i don't even remember that but i the bagels work because there was a less volume i'd say in the bag itself it allowed

more manipulation and flattening of the bag to get it through this blows yeah listen it's a prototype it's early it's it's version one things that we solved a. A, it's pretty. It's very aesthetic. It's a beautiful sky blue. It's got a cool date on it. It says our name. That's cool. Nailed it. Out of the park.

First try right there. Got it. It's got a magnet on it. Sticks to metal stuff. Boom. Nailed that. Feels sturdy. Nailed it.

Doesn't bend. Absolutely nailed that. Unfortunately, that's where it. Doesn't bend. Absolutely nailed that. Unfortunately, that's where it starts to fall apart. Turns out, should have bent a little bit. No worries. We'll work on that for revision two. What you have right now, though, in version one, is a great commemorative bread clip.

Much like when people buy commemorative spoons and thimbles, they don't really use them to sew and eat soup. They hang them on the wall. God, my mouth has I just fucking, this sucks. You're struggling? Yeah, it's just like, I feel like my mouth's full of saliva all the time. Okay, so I

ripped the bag and the magnet flew off. The magnet's gone? So now I've just got the the blue bit. It's tough. Yeah, I think I'm gonna put I'm gonna put it on a chain and wear it. I think that's how I'm gonna use it. Well, I think what i'm gonna put i'm gonna put it on a chain and wear it i think that's how i'm gonna use it well i think what you could do honestly you put it on a chain and then you have like a singular bagel in a bag and you run that through the hole and

then you have the bag supporting the bag so it's like a double chain situation that would be the look have like one slice of bread in a bag being held up by your chain just in case you never know when you could use a slice or a bag man i wonder how many of these we bought i have no idea how many the store has people buying it i don't think it's available yet yeah i mean they probably are at they're definitely out by the time people hear this but not not when we're recording this can i can i give an important update i meant to give last time that is right it is genuine the joy doesn't end it just keeps on going with the whole jake tombs tom's thing yeah so i recorded a thing and i need to like edit it down and chop it a little bit of him learning because after we

recorded i talked to him in a group and he he learned that he's been saying tom's wrong his entire life and he was not happy about it. And it was a big discussion of like, we are sacrificing the fact that we can hear him say Tums and it is fucking hilarious every time he says it. So there's sort of a sense of loss,

the fact that we had lost Tums. I'm not exaggerating. The exact same night, we're talking, he's like, you know what's funny is I don't even typically use like tom's that type of thing i'm more like i'm in the roll aids camp you know roll aids like the watch and there was a pause a long silent pause and they're like excuse me

he said roll aids like the watch and we're like is that on the packaging did you come up with that were like is that on the packaging did you come up with that and he said no this is a it's a Jake original for you and he genuinely we lost Tums and Toons Jake thinks Rolexes are called Rolaids and it's been the new thing that has taken

the last week he went to a wedding and I was like oh you see anybody open any gifts and he's like no I didn't see it I was like oh so you didn't see anyone get a Rolaid and he said nope didn't see it I was like does your dad have a roll aid jake he's like i don't know he might i'm not sure he genuinely thinks this so it's it's just an endless treasure cove of of words that are slightly wrong i mean at least with tombs you could have just misread the word yeah how do you get roll aid i have no idea and i'm not he's not doing

a bit he just genuinely thinks that roll aids is rolex and it's great it's been getting him and it's so much easier to prompt him to do the roll aid rolex thing it's fantastic oh gavin just posted a photo that looks ridiculous that looks good i think think. That looks good. I like that. I think that's going on. That's fashion right there. I'm a chain guy. What is the thing on your... Is that the skateboard from Tony Hawk Ride?

What is that thing on your floor? Is that a foot bench? Oh, it's just something to... No, it's just something to stand on, like a little rocker when the desk is in stand mode. Well, you have a thing... You have a thing to stand on

when you're standing for your desk? Yeah, I just came with a desk. I don't know why. I don't know if it's good for you or anything. I just stand on it, and it's like you balance. I don't know. I feel like that defeats the purpose of the standing.

I'm still standing. I'm just standing on something that's not the floor. Yeah, but I feel like the whole thing of You stand because you don't want to sit And you're like avoiding a mechanism It would defeat the purpose of the standing desk If I raised it as high as it could go and then sat in a lifeguard chair I think that would be pointless But I think this is still functional

You're just getting a good view You're making sure nobody's sneaking up on you No snake is going to get you in the lifeguard chair That's a real throwback It is Are you going to get you in the lifeguard chair. That's a real throwback. It is. Are you going to wear that? Like, is that, is this genuinely part of your wardrobe now? Can people?

I mean, I'm wearing it now. I don't know how long it'll stay on. I typically find it really annoying to wear jewelry. Even a watch is annoying. What, is there any exception to your jewelry? I mean, I'd wear a Rolaid, but that's about it. Yeah, Rolaid? I looked, I Googled to, but that's about it. Yeah, Rolaid? I googled to see if there's maybe a

commemorative Rolaid's watch or something. They never made that. It doesn't matter. Tragic. I'd love to get Jake a Rolaid's watch. Did you see what Papa John's did, Eric and Gavin? I'm so used to talking dumb food shit with Eric. I instinctually

said, somebody sent this to me right before we recorded. It's a fucking monstrosity. Maybe you'll defend it. I fucking hate it. Papa John's is doing a Branston pickling cheese stuffed crust. No. In the US? No.

I'm assuming this is in Europe. In the fucking US. You think in the US? You think they're fucking brave enough to do that in the US? No, I'm assuming this is in Europe. You think in the US? You think they're fucking brave enough to do that in the US? Also, I need to clarify, is Papa John's in Europe, or is it just coincidentally another pizza chain named Papa John's that has nothing to do after Dennis the Menace? I don't know what to believe.

Is that the same logo? Not really. Dude, Branston's been around for a hundred years look has it well since it's 20 1922 fucking gross it's terrible is it to celebrate the hundredth century of branston pickle i love the idea that papa john was the one that was like, we need to... I need to eat this. That sounds absolutely phenomenal. I would... Horrible. Wow.

Papa John's is everywhere. That doesn't surprise me. Isn't... Is Shaq Papa John now? Because Papa John sucked and got kicked out of Papa John's. Yeah, I think he's on the board or something, right? He's like a bunch of chain restaurants, I believe, of theirs. Yeah.

He's a savvy businessman, Shaquille O'Neal. I've never looked at a crust and thought, this needs pickle. Like, it's just such a terrible... But it's not pickle. It's fucking onion, right? No, it's... Isn't it pickle?

I mean, I've... It's mainly pickled onion. You read the ingredients. It was like a bunch of different stuff. I don't even remember. I just remember not liking it. Oh, I i think we should get we should try and get you some of that and i want some too how are i don't think there's any way to get i assume it's only in europe well let's google i mean pizza travels well but i don't know if it travels that well

we need someone to just take it on a plane illegally you know like in movies where like they tape the drugs or the money to them for like walking across it's just pizza boxes yeah where is that available they also make branson pickle cheese sticks oh i'm just imagining somebody walking through the airport looking like a fucking roblox character with like the boxes on each corner of them just a big blocky try to be stealthy what's this limited edition cheese Oh, it's the same thing. Yeah, it looks like it's only in the UK. Yeah, it's terrible.

I'm going to have to make a trip. Yeah. Terrible. Anyone want to come? No. Well, no. I thought for any reason, no. The answer's no.

You will not set foot in the United Kingdom until? Until after November. There's an order. There's a wait list. I didn't go to Vegas. That was November. There's an order. There's a wait list. I didn't go to Vegas. That was all. I was just kidding. It was a joke.

I'm not in Vegas right now. Remember that? I was going to be in Vegas. That was a whole big hole. Hee haw. Just kidding. Oh, man. I can't believe you wouldn't

go to England with me. I would after November. I think that's pretty clear. So if an opportunity came up I can't believe you wouldn't go to England with me. I would after November. I think that's pretty clear. So if an opportunity came up after the Branson Pickle and Cheese, once it's long gone, I'll gladly do an England trip with you. I just don't want to set foot. Well, I don't want to be in the same place that there is a pickled crust.

Sounds dangerous. We could make, how do you make a... Yeah, we could make this. No, we can't. No, we can't. No, we can't. We can't and we don't want to. We could. It's possible. How would we make this? Have you ever made a crust in your life?

No, I assume it's just rolling cheese into it, right? Yeah. Okay. Folding some cheese in? I guarantee you we could make this and it'd be perfect for F*** Face Cooks the Food, the cookbook that we have never made. I think what we'll need is someone in England, if this is still on, someone just to rip the crust open and just give me a reference photo and then I'll try and make it. That's a great idea. I'd love to see that. I want to see your interpretation of it. I would go to Austin to eat it.

Oh my god, Gavin! This is the pizza you can cook in my pizza oven in my backyard so I can dillow it. Oh my god, thank Christ! This weekend, Emily was like, is Gavin going to make a fucking pizza or what? And I was like, I don't know. I don't think so. And she goes, I'm paying

to have this thing torn down tomorrow. Keep it up until we make that pizza. All right, so that's it. After you make the Branston pickle stuffed crust pizza, we're ripping that thing down so we can put a pool in. Just like the idea of pulling the pizza out and then the sledgehammers immediately start working.

Oh, that's perfect. I think you should keep that. But I'm not going to, though. That's perfect, I think you should keep that. But I'm not gonna, though. That's perfect, dude. That's super exciting. In three years, I've made zero pizzas. Since we had the discussion in my backyard of you making a pizza in that thing,

we've made zero pizzas. It clearly doesn't get used. However, this is a perfect way to use it. I could not be more excited i would argue that you can go to a place to swim you can't go to a place to make a pizza i think the pizza ovens significantly more valuable an authentic pizza oven experience obviously people have ovens ovens can work but i'm saying like an authentic pizza oven experience you can't just walk up and use that i mean i could just go to there's like

five wood-fired oven pizza restaurants like a five blocks from me yeah but you're not using what's it in the way of though what's it in the way of yeah it takes up a lot of fucking space but what are you gonna put there like a chair you got chairs i'm gonna put a pool there right well there where the pizza thing is part of yeah, but the pool will cut into it a little bit. I would rework the shape of the pool. Also, we fucking tried to dig in your backyard before. We know what it's like. You're not going to dig a pool there.

You're going to get three feet. There's no fucking way. I like that Andrew throws himself in this. We tried to dig a hole. We are not going to be digging a pool hole. A dude with a crane is going to dig, and a fucking earth mover is going to be digging the pool hole. I would have loved to have been there. A dude with a crane is going to dig, and a fucking earth mover is going to be digging the pool hole. It's not going to be us with shovels out there.

You're going to get a four-foot pool, and one foot of it will be below ground. The rest will be sticking out. That's all that's going to happen. Yep. Also, if you get a fucking crane to dig up your yard, you better fucking try to cook beans in that hole. You better make a real goddamn hole with that bean.

I don't want any goddamn excuses of Gavin with a hammer. Also, I don't think we ever released that video. I don't know if we ever will, but what a fucking, this may be my favorite video that has ever come out of the show. That and baseballs. What's that, the bean hole? Yeah, I don't think the bean hole video ever got released. I could be wrong.

Are you serious? No, it's never come out. I put them in the folder like two months ago. Really? I was like, hey, I've got these videos done. Let me know if you want any changes. Wait, because the full baseball video never came out either. Yeah, it did.

Did you do that as well? Oh, no, it didn't. Why do I do this work? Wait, they're available? I've been waiting for you to be done. Yeah, me too. I didn't know they were done. I put it in Slack ages ago.

I've never seen any of them. I'd love to. Gavin's overkill achievement came out, and then before that, it was Jeff at the plate real, and then Jeff at the plate. I went never seen any of them. I'd love to a Gavin's overkill achievement came out And then before that it was Jeff at the plate real and then Jeff at the plate On those I'm so excited to see them you didn't tell anyone really exciting Are you serious? I bought them in the slack you idiots. Why did you put them in? There's no way you put them in the slack Don't remember you saying these are done.

I looked at the Google Drive folder and I was like, oh, this one needs music. Anyone got any notes? No, I didn't. What are you talking about? Is that you saying this is done? Or? Yeah, like watch the thing. I've edited it. Where is it? I'd love to see it.

You're a fool. You're a bunch of fools. I don't. If it was just me... Shut up. Get three different edits out the door in the same week. No one's even watching. I'll be honest. I was under the impression you just got too busy to deal with it. You had slow-mo guy stuff and you just forgot about it. And I was like, it's not a big deal.

We already got content out of it, so I was like, it's not a big deal. Now it's a really odd amount of time. I wish you would have put it in the slack I don't know that you did scroll up to where maybe it was one of the times I quit

Eric where is it Eric where'd you get that you said any notes on baseballs I think it should probably have some background music and then you didn't and then that was it do I need to do more than that You said any notes on baseballs. I think it should probably have some background music. And then you didn't. And then that was it. Do I need to do more than that?

I said, does anyone have any notes on baseballs? Silence. And then nothing. Why did I bother? Right. But I didn't know it was done. What do you want from me? I'm very excited to watch this. I want you to say this is done.

When was that posted? Like May 3rd. Oh, God! This is a weird... Now, I know you're annoyed, and you have every right to be, but we all missed it because we thought we were being courteous to you. This was missed with the best intent.

I thought you were just super busy. I thought you were super busy and that you just hadn't got around to it, and I wasn't going to be like, where the fuck are these videos that you said you would do like I was just I figured so no one's bugging me about it because you think I'm busy I've already posted them and I'm thinking oh I guess nobody I guess they've gone up or nobody had any notes we're being respectful of your time I I will say I can't find I'm looking

and I can't find the beanhole one completed but I don't know if that was completed or not. Again, if it was done... Is that not in the same folder? I just have the direct link to the video. I don't have the link to the folder. Yeah, it's just a link to a baseball. That might be on you. That part. That one might be on me. I mean, they're both in there. Okay, but again, I don't have...

I'm not sure, like, I don't have the folder. Okay, so I messed up that one. I assumed. I assumed I'd link to the folder. I just linked to one video in the folder. Okay, I'll take the blame for Beanhole not coming out. Oh, man, it's done, too. It's right next to the other one from May 3rd. When does this come out?

What day does this come out? Because we can upload these when this airs. I'm excited. Can I see Beanhole? This comes out the week of the 6th, out what day does this come out because we can upload these when this airs i'm excited can i see beanhole oh this comes out uh the uh the week of the 6th so july 6th so july 6th this will become public on our youtube channel these will be posted these have just been in the face vault unknowingly the fuck we're opening the face vault has opened you incredible content this podcast is such a piece of shit we need

more we need money and people and it doesn't work without it here's what I'll say uh no one from the audience has asked about these videos so they may not even want them no they definitely I want I feel like I want I feel like I haven't seen anything about them I just assume they came out and everyone was

like oh can I how do I see the how do I see the bean just assumed they came out and everyone was like, oh. How do I see the beanhole? Yeah, where's the beanhole video? I'm not logged in on this. I have to send you the link after. Because I can't back out of this video and up the tree or anything. It just asked me how else I want to open this. So, okay. I'm so happy.

I'm taking the blame on beanhole. But I did put baseballs up over two months ago. But you put baseballs up unfinished. It's done. I just thought I wanted to know if you think I should have music on it or not. Right, but I didn't know it was done. You're asking for notes. We didn't give notes, but you didn't say, okay, never mind then.

It's done. I have to say, okay, I have to say I need notes. By the way, it's done. What do you mean? What do I mean? You asked for notes and then didn't say anything else about it ever so i didn't know it was done for notes i'll say something immediately after what do you mean i mean it's gavin gavin gavin gavin we gave you a month to let us know it was done and you just never kind of got back around to it man i want

it on the record gavin i'm on your side on this i'm with you i just missed it everyone i don't know how i didn't i didn't know it was there i somehow missed that message i i don't want to be on either side but i will say uh i i think that eric brings up a point if you present it as does this need background music it probably does do you think you could throw some in it sounds like it's not done can you paste what i wrote eric uh yes it is right here this is from okay so this is from wednesday may the fourth and it is uh oh can you bleep the can you bleep the faces too while you're at it oh oh so i so it's not done he's giving notes like it It doesn't seem like it's done. This was, Gavin posted a link to the Google Drive where baseballs lives. On which day?

Any notes, excuse me. Any notes on baseballs? I think it should probably have some background music and I still need to bleep the faces. There's no indication that this is complete. It's in. I'm just doing finishing touches stuff. Any notes before I exploit for the final time?

Isn't that a good time to get notes? So we don't have the final export is what you're telling me. Why would you have the final export? Why would you give notes on the one that's being uploaded? What are you talking about? I'm just saying we don't have it. Oh, I'm just saying we don't have it. I'm not saying, you know, we're delusional or whatever.

So where's the final version? Yeah, because I don't have that. I've never seen the final version. How do we get access to the final version? I'm not saying, you know, where it is or whatever. So where's the final version? Yeah, because I don't have that. I've never seen the final version. How do we get access to the final version? I'm sorry. I thought this was a collaborative process. I thought that if you wanted changes or if suddenly Jeff was like, oh, it shouldn't be this long, I thought I'd probably still cut it down.

Before I waste time timing it to music, bleeping words that aren't going to be in it, I thought maybe that was a good time to get some feedback. apologize i was clearly wrong let's literally just sit there in silence for six weeks and i'll just shove both thumbs up my ass how about that i need to be i genuinely i'm so sad i didn't see that i'm really sorry i missed it because i would have loved i would have given any note i would have given so many notes i would have been the notiest note person of all time if I saw that video I'm so sad I missed it I'll be honest it's a very Jeff move to uh look at a video that's been uploaded and be like wow why is that 16 minutes it should have been four I absolutely now I will say I absolutely agree with you on that yes what did I have? You have standards after it's done.

You don't have time before it's done. Listen. Okay. I very rarely have time to give notes. And I trust you guys. Until after where you're more than happy to. What are you talking about? When am I doing that?

We need to factor in how contentious baseballs was for a time. Jeff almost quit this podcast because we posted a video of him missing baseballs. It was very close. Yeah, at least even though this one didn't come out, the other three about baseballs came out. I'm so excited to watch this.

I'll be honest with you, Gav. It totally sounds like we dropped the ball on responding to you in all seriousness. We should have either said, no, it's good to go, go for it, or I don't have time to, I'm not going to watch this, I can't be bothered, export it, or whatever response. You got no response, so that is on us. But in our defense,

I will say, there were 3,000 fucking baseball videos all at once, and I just missed this one, but I saw all the other ones. You missed the one that took like seven hours to edit. I'm so sorry. but I saw all the other ones. You missed the one that took like seven hours to edit. So sorry. That's alright. To be honest, I don't know why I thought it would have went up. I clearly hadn't bleeped till the end.

Honestly, just the silence of it. I just thought, oh something's happened with it. I thought there's no way it just sat there in the slack unattended. I'm so glad we decided to record two of these today. Like how long this could have went. I'm so excited to watch the record two of these today. Like how long this could have went. I'm so excited to watch the bean hole video.

I cannot wait. Yeah, I've never seen it. I can't wait to get the link to it. Yeah, I would say a little peer behind the veil for the audience. There was a discussion. We recorded 109 and 110 back to back today because Eric and I have to go out of town for VidCon next week. And so there was some discussion about whether we had enough material for a second episode today,

and I think we were all kind of on the fence on it. If we had decided not to do this, it might have been another six months before we found out about these videos that were coming out. Thank God! It probably would have been when we did the second, like the next set of baseballs, it probably would have come up again of like,

oh, it's too bad that we never got that video. This could be weeks from now. Yeah. Yeah. Talking about the immense pizza oven follow-up to a video that didn't come out. That's true. Nobody's ever seen the,

well, I audience, I apologize in one of the videos, we have a whole conversation about how Gavin's going to cook a pizza in my pizza oven. I guess you haven't seen that. Jeff, you need to save part of your destroyed pizza oven for the museum. Oh, 100%.

Because it's part of the lore. If it cooks the pizza, you've got to save a chunk of it. Yeah, absolutely. It's very important. It's a pizza wall. Gav, how are you doing, man? I just remember how busy April and May were. I'm trying to squeeze those in for no reason.

Hey, real fast. Gavron, real fast. Can I ask you a question? Which socks are you wearing today? What color? I'm wearing the old style. Oh. Okay.

Oh. That is funny. Oh. That's actually... I'm not even mad. Like... I'm not even mad. I'm not even mad because it became content on this one. But that is mind-blowing. Do you know why it happened, honestly?

It wasn't like it was sent to one person. It was to the... There's like 10 people in that slack. It happened because we have so many things going on. Like, face is just like, it's just like a minefield of bits that we're dancing around. Like, we were probably seven bits further by the time that, you know what I mean?

It's unfortunate. That's so funny. But it's so awesome that we found out and we get to release these videos now. I don't think we need to. No, we need to. No, we do. No one in the audience is even missing it. I don't think the audience

knew they were missing them. We talked about how there were so many baseball videos coming out and I've got my super cut coming. I don't think anyone cared. No, I care. I've been anticipating

this for weeks. They probably just saw the two baseball videos that were already out and thought that that's what you meant. Oh, I'm so excited. And then we're putting out stuff like the overkill. Oh, God.

We'll get them out. I can't wait. I wish I had that mechanism internally that allowed me to feel empathy for you in this moment because I think I would like I can see

why I would I don't clearly but I kind of wish I did I wish I felt bad for you right now because it seems like you're probably upset and I can imagine how annoying and frustrating that would be if it was week off I guess I've forgotten mostly of how

busy all that time was if it was closer to it I'd like i've i guess i've forgotten mostly of how how busy all that time was if it was closer to it i'd probably be more annoyed i'm not annoyed it's funny it's a very us thing to have happened it is oh man wherever you're going you better believe american Express will be right there with you. Heading for adventure? We'll help you breeze through security. Meeting friends a world away? You can use your travel credit. Squeezing every drop out of the last day? How about a 4 p.m. late checkout? Just need a nice place to settle in? Enjoy a room upgrade.

Wherever you go, we'll go together. That's the powerful backing of american express visit amex.ca slash ymx benefits vary by card terms apply hey i saw a comment the other day uh and i didn't write down who said it unfortunately but uh somebody said that it was their suspicion that future Gavin came back in time, climbed a tree, and threw the branch at past Gavin and framed me. So I have a question.

Why is future Gavin trying to frame current Jeff? What does future you have against me? Because he fucking ignored his feedback on the baseball video. Is it because of this? This is how it starts. It's this. Yeah, if I'd have just heard, and that's for the baseballs

after I got hit, that would have been confusing. Yeah, I wonder why. I must have needed to move. Or maybe I was about to get sunburned or something. You were either saving your life, but I don't know why I'm getting the heat for it like it was me, because I clearly didn't do it. I don't think there's any way I could have known you would take the heat for it, though.

I mean, you knew everything. You're in the future. That's true. Does that mean it happened before this episode, though, or after? Do you have the power to time travel currently? That's a good point. It has to be after, doesn't it? Yeah.

Unless you just let something slip. That means, okay, so it's going gonna have to be pretty soon though because i don't know whether i'm gonna be able to climb trees for that much i'm not gonna be coming back in my 70s and do it am i i was thinking about like old people things have you ever heard a whippersnapper like unironically in the wild i don't think i've ever heard really yeah i'd love to be called a whippersnapper what was the context i mean people used to say dude i'm so old like i grew up in this like the late late 70s and early 80s people said shit old people in alabama said shit like that all the time really sport and chief and champ and whippersnapper yeah all that stuff oh stuff. Oh, it'd be great.

I'd love to. I don't think there's any. I guess it's an insult. I think if I was going to be called an insult, that's probably number one on my big board. I don't think I've ever been called a whippersnapper. Is it an insult? I don't think it's an insult.

I think it's more of like just a terminology for like a rambunctious kid. Like, oh, you whippersnapper. Yeah, you little rascal. But I feel like it's typically used in the context of I'm sick of this kid, this asshole. I feel like there's a negative connotation. Really? Interesting.

My perception of whippersnapper is totally off. Is there an age limit? When do you exceed the line of whippersnapper? When do you age out of whippersnapper? But, like, is that... Age... Sooner than aging out of climbing trees, I think. I was trying to figure out out is it dependent on the

person saying it or is there a clear line like if they're a hundred does the bar move because i would say if somebody who's like 70 they're probably maybe like 11 or 12 i'd assume is the cutoff if they're like a hundred i feel like it would be appropriate for them to call like a 20 year old a whippersnapper i bet a 100 year old person has called a 70 year old a whippersnapper just probably think so i bet that's happened yeah i think that's happened well i will say andrew uh i think you are more right than i was even that's not i don't ever remember being referred used derogatorily, but Dictionary Kid says that Whippersnapper is a young, impertinent,

and irritatingly overconfident person. So I guess it is negative. Yeah, well, I always feel like these damn Whippersnappers, like the cliche. I guess I've only heard it ironically. That's what I mean, but even in the ironic context,

I feel like it's aimed at somebody who's doing something against the person saying it. Do you see that picture recently of the queen coming out on her balcony, stood next to Prince Charles? It's basically an old woman stood next to an old man. No. But one's like her, it's her kid.

But I bet she could call him a whippersnapper. Gavin, I don't know if this is, this is like a not British DNA thing. I don't think I've ever just come across a photo of the Queen, ever. It's never, me and seeing the Queen never comes into play. It was in the news. It was a big jubilee. Yeah, it was the Platinum Jubilee.

I don't, I don't know. I have no idea. You don't know about the Platinum Jubilee? I'm more Platinum Games. I don't know of Platinum Jubilee. It's the 70th, this year was the 70th anniversary of her reign as monarch i that's right right gavin i'm not getting this wrong yeah i mean not complete respect to her you couldn't manage measure how insignificant that is to me i fuck it i couldn't

care less who cares i think she's the second longest living monarch. I couldn't care less. Well, I mean, you don't have to... I'm just saying. It was in the damn news. It's not in my world. I didn't see that news. That's not... Come across my feed. Oh, shit.

What the... Aren't you part of England or something? I saw her with Paddington Bear. That was cool. She's on your money. Yeah. Aren't you guys... Aren't you British?

Yeah, but I don't use. All right. You see that picture? Oh, what a cute photo. That is a nice photo. All right. The guy on the left, that's a kid. So, and the guy to her right.

Well, he murdered his wife, right? Then he killed his wife. That's Prince William? On the right. Her right. Not my right. The little. The kid? No. No, not the right. Her right, not my right. The little... The kid?

No. No, not the kid. Her son... Who is he? Prince Charles? No. Charles. Didn't Charles kill Diana?

Isn't that a thing? No! I thought he killed her. I'm sorry. She died running from paparazzi in a tunnel with Dodi Fayed. I feel like there... It was a car accident. I feel like I've heard that he killed her. Dude, there is a conspiracy theory for every celebrity death ever made, but that's not a large one, I don't think.

Okay. Yeah, that guy, Charles is her son, so the picture's left. Yeah, her right. Yeah, that's Charles and Camilla. Yeah. Didn't he cheat on Diana with Camilla? Yes. Okay, so that's right.

I know something. I mean, why do you just start saying allegedly every time you put him out for the moment? Well, I'm asking questions. I'm literally, I'm not saying these as facts. I phrase both of these as questions. I feel like I need to step in and say this before you go too far down this road, Andrew.

Just so you know, Gavin knows next to nothing about England. So his English knowledge is brutally limited, I've learned over the years. So just take some of the stuff he says with a grain of salt. Ask me a question, Andrew. I don't even know what to ask.

Are those William's kids? I think that's William to to the left right that's william and uh kate yeah um kids uh i keep wanting to say mckinnon but it's definitely not kate mckinnon middleton i don't middleton yeah okay those are their kids and she you're thinking you're saying that she could refer to those kids as whippersnappers what she could refer to her son who's next to her who's 70 years old the queen could call charles a whippersnapper got it it's like an ironic understood understood i don't know anything about the royal family they're not part of my how does jeff know more about it than you though you're it's not part of my it's not part of my world it's mean, how does Jeff know more about it than you, though? You're from Canada. It's not part of my world.

It's the Commonwealth. I don't know what to tell you. I don't think about them at all. It's literally more part of your world than mine. I just know about shit because, well, A, I was in London like a month ago, and they were setting up for the Platinum Jubilee. But B, I just pay attention to the world and what's happening in it. I guess my world doesn't contain the royal family. It literally does,

though. You're a part of the British Commonwealth. Yeah, but it's not in my peripheral. I get what you're saying. It's in your wallet. No, I don't have any cash on me. Okay. All right. Andrew's heavily invested in altcoin. He pays for everything with Dogecoin.

No, I'm not. Absolutely not. I could tell you about Bayonetta, Platinum Games. I know a lot about Platinum Games. Bayonetta 2. Okay. Near Automata? Near Automata? Is that how you say that one?

They make great games. I just don't know anything about Platinum Jubilee. Is that just a title that she got for reigning so long? Or what is... Well, Platinum is just like a... You know how people have wedding anniversaries and stuff? Like a... I see.

Golden anniversary. Yeah. Usually different decades. Do you think the queen ever used her gold-plated Wii? There's some video game company that... There was some other anniversary of hers. They sent her a golden Wii. You think she ever got that?

Hmm. Do you think the queen has ever played Wii bowling? Uh... I feel like absolutely. I bet she gave it a go. You think she ever got that? Hmm. Do you think the queen has ever played Wii bowling? Uh, I feel like absolutely. But she gave it a go. I bet there is a, there is like a whole wing of Buckingham palace where dignitar, dignitaries and foreign leaders and Kings and Queens and,

uh, other, uh, monarchies have given gifts to the royal family that just get chucked in and like throw it in that room. They get so so much of it I'm sure she doesn't see 90% of it yeah I don't think she I said I think she needs any more gold so she probably didn't mean yeah so it was a Nintendo or like another company just did that I think a different company did that I don't think it was a Nintendo

yeah I think they're like trying to promote their game I don't like it was for $250,000 Wii or something. Jesus. So would you say that the queen has more or less gifts than Price is Right winners have prizes? If you're going to measure those against each other. More. Way more. Way more?

Yeah. Okay. And she doesn't have to pay all the tax on it. I bet the queen could have a tag sale at Buckingham Palace that would blow you away. You think the queen would be interested

in a metal bread clip? She might. Dude, I don't know. I just watched Martha Stewart's Let's make a gold bread clip. I just watched Martha Stewart's

Great American Yard Sale or whatever. I don't know why the queen wouldn't do it. Martha Stewart is the closest thing to American royalty we have. What was she getting rid of?

Dude, she got rid of so much stuff. She got rid of a lot of different cutlery. She got rid of some really old knives. She got rid of a bunch of really pretty plates and furniture. Like chest of drawers. I don't know. You watch it. It's on Hulu. I watch the whole thing.

So all that came from whippersnappers, huh? I guess. What a fucking... Do you think... This is another thought I had recently. Do you think anyone has stolen the equivalent of what somebody has made

in Ocean's Eleven in small goods? What's the most value amount somebody has stolen like i don't know like going into walmart and stealing an apple scrumping an apple or like a chocolate bar or something insignificant something very cheap low value but extreme low value but extreme quantities has somebody gotten like what would be the equivalent of a cut of an ocean's heist throughout their life in in apples or candy small items like what's the most anyone without getting caught has successfully stolen in small quantities would that even be feasible could you steal enough let's just say like i don't know like bottles of soda or candy bars well wasn't that kind of the plot of office space to steal

like tenths of it was yeah yeah yeah but that was like a digital trend that was like how they were moving pennies there was no physical transaction in that i'm just imagining you know how like a serial killer has their trophies like a guy that only steals like oh henry bars has like 20 000 rappers what if someone went around and took all of the first dollars from every business? Like the frame store. I wonder how rich you would be if you had every first dollar in the world. I think you'd be really rich.

And you obviously have to frame the first one you stole. This is a little bit of an aside, but it reminded me. I saw the other day that Shaq said he had the largest single purchase in the history of Walmart. Wow. Wow. I don't know if it's true or how it was verified, but apparently he was saying when he got traded... What, did he buy a Walmart? When he got traded from Orlando to Phoenix, he got to Phoenix and had nothing.

And he just said, I'm going to buy everything I need. And he went to Walmart at like 3 in the morning and spent about $70,000 worth of stuff in one purchase from Walmart. That was back when he played for Phoenix. So it's possible some other person has spent more Walmart since then but according to him when he played for the Phoenix Suns, he had the largest

single purchase in the history of... I'll give money to the richest family. Yeah. Could you imagine trying to park a moving truck in a standard parking space you just have to take a whole row and people couldn't even be mad at i love the idea of shack like parking his moving truck to the front of walmart i just feel like we're loading up i need chairs i need tables we light 70 grand does that like go through a checkout yeah he said he like paid for it with his like so i i didn't i was kind of like half

listening it was i was doing something else at the time but uh he said that his credit card got declined and he was like run it again i ain't poor and then they tried again and his credit card got declined then he had to call like american express or whoever and like convince them that it was him or he said he got a call and they were like, Shaq, you're never going to believe this, but somebody just tried to spend $70,000 of your money

at Walmart. And he's like, I'm that guy. It's me. So they proved it. Eric said, imagine being behind him in line. That'd be great.

How many shopping carts he would need. Or the idea of him trying to like sneak in Express checkout. Like it crosses the line of so absurd that you just have to allow it he said he bought he was like i bought like seven tvs you know all stereos i had to buy like underwear toothpaste t-shirts plates like he bought an

entire life like everything a person would need to live i guess he just left everything else in orlando was like i'll see you eventually seven tv TVs. Yeah, I was about to say, I love the idea of, I'm getting all the essentials. Seven TVs. We're opening with seven TVs. Need seven of those. What could you do with seven? Yeah, not start with one and we'll see how many more I need. Just start with seven. You're really committed

to the tech of that time, too. Not to like, we've had TV talk recently, but TVs I feel like are changing like every five years. Like buying all seven at the same time is a decision. All right. I got to figure out what year it was that he. Yeah, they could have been CRTs.

Yeah. Oh, God. All right. You would need an entire truck just for the CRTs. So he played for the Phoenix Suns. Oh, no. 2008 to 2009. They weren't CRTs.

Ah. 2008. He was getting flat screen that's disappointing that's definite flat screen territory what does show me mean just talking to eric oh oh no we were we were in a space and jeff pointed at a tv and just kept going huh right see and i didn't know what the fuck he was talking about but it was just a frame around a TV he was so thrilled about it I thought it was pretty cool yeah why does Nick said I love a frame around a TV why why Nick this just looks nice look at this no but it doesn't it like when it's on it's stylish when it's off I think show the Lisa. But I don't think TVs look ugly. TV when it's on, art when it's off is how they describe it. It's relax.

Nick said it's relaxing. I agree. Look at a frame around a TV. Relaxes Nick. I just don't know when you're so stressed out. You're just like, I need something to calm me down. Although, as Nick calls it,

ah, glowing art. Let me turn this TV off. I am right there with Nick. You guys are making fun of him for totally valid. Hell yeah, Nick. I just, I think, a TV off with no image. Doesn't that look classy?

If it has an image and it's art, like they're displaying, that's fine. But when you turn off a TV and it no image. Doesn't that look classy? If it has an image and it's art, like they're displaying, that's fine. But when you turn off a TV and it's just a blank screen with a frame around it, it looks uglier than just a TV does. I don't think it does that, though. I think it always, it goes into like an art mode where you can put pictures in it.

You've sent me a photo of a TV that was turned off completely that had a frame around it. I've seen it. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that was the RT one that they handmade. These are the ones that like you buy. No, but I didn't, the frame, like the I've seen it. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that was the RT one that they handmade. These are the ones that like you buy.

No, but I didn't. The frame, like the handmade part of it was great. I think that looked awesome. Yeah. They just didn't have, they're not, listen,

they're not using it to the height of its potential. But that's my point. Like, unless they all have that where it's pre-built or whatever. They do. They do.

Turn the TV off to bring the masterpieces to life. Simply press the power button on the one remote and watch art mode. Turn your blank TV screen into a private exhibit of curated creations. Why am I trying to sell these fucking TVs? I don't even have one. I just think it's cool. Shaq would buy seven.

At least. What was his jersey number? Shaquille O'Neal? Yeah. What did he play? I think he probably bounced around depending on what he was playing he played for a

lot of teams 34 Eric thanks he was 34 in LA 32 in Miami 33 when he was at LSU 32 on the Suns 36 in Boston 32 on the magic and 33 on the Cavs so he's just a 32 to 30s 36 of runner there.

36 for the Celtics is Marcus Smart currently. Here's hoping that number gets retired and nobody will ever be 36 again. It's tomorrow, right? Game six? Tonight. Tonight? I thought it was Friday.

It's Thursday night. It's Thursday? Fuck. Okay. It's in a couple hours. Jesus. I was not mentally prepared for this. Well, I'm also

not mentally prepared for this and I've been trying all fucking week. I feel like they're gonna win. The best part is people already know. They'll know what happened. You know what's fucked up, dude? What? If they win this game tonight, which would be awesome, do you know when they play game seven? When?

On my birthday. That, who? Yeah. That's a, yeah. Wow. That's high stakes.

You think like, talk about, talk about good socks, bad socks. Fucking, that, the risk of them shitting the bed on my birthday and me having to deal with that

for the rest of my fucking life. Wow. Yeah. It was almost like when you dropped that Derek White card and you cursed that entire game potentially. You had that weight on you. Well, let's hope they win. Yeah, well, fingers crossed.

I think they'll win tonight. I'd be shocked if they lose three in a row. Gavin said, Eric asked Gavin what the final score for the game will be and Gavin said 80-94. That would be an incredibly low scoring game. What's the

normal? I mean, it could happen but given the playoff, I mean, two of the best defenses in basketball, I think it's more likely going to be in the low 100s. Probably 104, 112 or something. But yeah. 80-94 is bold. I hope to God the Celtics score more than 80 points tonight.

Oh, good. Eric's trying to see if he's a time traveler. That's excellent. You might have just caught him in a loop. It's a weird sport, basketball. It's a lot of scoring. Yeah, they like to score. Why does that make it, I guess if you're soccer.

Well, because if both teams are going to score the low 100s, it's like, how many times, are you really excited when it happens? Yeah.

Yeah. Really? Yeah, you are. Yeah. It's exciting all the way through. There's too much scoring. Ugh. Points.

Ugh. What are you talking about? I just think if something happens all the time while you're watching it, it's not interesting. Let's have a fucking blast and watch one one go to a tie. Let's fucking woo.

That's great. Thrilling. Thrilling high stakes. I'm not saying I agree or disagree with you, Gavin, but did you say that something's always happening and it's so it's not interesting? Like if, if a Michael Bay movie, if it was like two and a half hours of explosions,

which a lot of the time it would go on for like 20 minutes and it's like, it cheapens it. I understand what you're saying, but it would be like saying there's too much running in soccer. It cheapens it. Like the movement. You're not cheering a run. You're cheering a goal.

But you are cheering runs. You're cheering the momentum cheering a run. You're cheering a goal. But you are cheering runs. You're cheering the momentum of a run. A team can go on a 10-0 run and change the entire forecast of the game. The result is I hope they score a goal. But what about... Are you okay with the fact that at most they're scoring three points per score?

It's not like football. Six points guarantee on a touchdown. You've got to really work for those points. If you're Steph Curry, you're allowed to have a seven point play apparently does the number a point it's just an insane you think games should have a limited mechanism to how they score

no I'm just saying like if I watch a football game and it's like 2-1 the goals were like very exciting because there was a lot of time between them but isn't it the result of the game that you're invested in more so than the mechanism of adding points like isn't shouldn't that i feel like that's more of a factor for me yeah would you play like a would you play a capture

the flag on blood gulch first to 50 no it'd be like it's exciting when when it's scored once if every time i score once it's worth six that might be interesting do i get the ability to go for eight i gotta yeah i don't know man like i think the the beauty of soccer and the allure of soccer is like the fluidity of motion and how the game plays out and i i think basketball basketball is the exact same way like you're constantly watching the fluidity of the team how a team will make a defensive response to something that

another team is doing and then how that team counters it or doesn't it it's like it's constantly interesting there's too much to watch on a screen I the thing I've had trouble with these finals is I want to watch them multiple times because I want to see what every player is doing in relation to everything else that's going on on the court.

Basketball's nonstop interesting shit happening at all times. Fascinating. Not that we're in this era. It baffles me the idea of being like, oh, another dunk? They're dunking again. Okay. I'm not annoyed with it.

I'm just like, score over there, run it back, score over there. I know, but a dunk is always exciting to me. It doesn't matter how many times it happens. I went to a game with Jeff. It was very exciting. It was a very cool environment. I really had a good time. In general, I don't think I could watch like 50 games in a year.

That's interesting. Oh, well, a lot of people can't. Yeah, it's... Most people don't watch every game of their team you know i wouldn't imagine oh really i don't think so there's 82 games and then if you make it all the way to the if you make it all the way if you make it all the way through the playoffs to the finals you're playing another quarter of a season you're playing another 24 games it depends on the sport like i will watch every Seahawks game every year

because there's 16 of those and it's one a week. Like that's a very manageable. When you get into like hockey and football or basketball and baseball becomes more challenging. You have multiple games a week. I like the idea of playoffs. I like the idea of like you play every team and then something happens.

My limit's 82 games. Baseball it's hard to keep up with a full season and try to watch every game, but I can watch every basketball game. 82's not too hard. The playoffs are always great. Yeah. For any sport. It's always exciting. Are we a sports podcast? I don't think that's right. No, we're a baseball equipment podcast.

We're a time-traveling baseball equipment podcast. I do! Oh, yeah, so speaking of uh we'll probably start wrapping it up here soon but i've been meaning to ask you this guys this for a while now but has anybody experienced any new potential time travel uh issues it has future you uh maybe manipulated your lives in any way recently that you could account for yeah i realized today when you asked me about uh had I done the baseball video, I quickly went back in time and posted it in the Slack. That's fair.

Yeah. Just so I wouldn't feel on the back foot there. Well, I don't think anything... I've had a pretty uneventful life the last couple, the last week or two. I don't even know if I've talked about it but i got

my new bike and i've been riding it every day and like nothing's happening everything's just like life's good there yeah i guess so yeah no it is you're right it is it is good i've got it hasn't yeah i mean with the exception for everything except for this podcast yeah i mean with the exception of emily getting you know getting covid and us being quarantined for that week but like it's been pretty uneventful life yeah i'd say that i'm at a point where i'm thinking about whippersnappers is like a reflection of the thrill that is happening in my life at the moment i'm having extended thoughts about what whippersnappers mean and the age limits probably not a lot going on that's exciting i want to buy

you both uh a three pack of these new socks by the way i would love to have a pair i'm excited to see if any effect it has any effect on your lives have you noticed like you know red is bad but are the other is any other color like particularly good uh no okay no i'm trying not to get hung up on like the intricacies of good just trying to avoid bad i think this will be out by the time and if not maybe we can edit i think you'll know know this jeff the fact that gavin and i are on survive block island season two which is like survivor meets minecraft yes if i could get a pair of those socks gavin if i get voted out first i'm wearing those fucking socks we're gonna have a problem i yeah i love that the other day this is actually funny i didn't i forgot about this this. Andrew accidentally texted me some stuff

he meant to send to you, Gavin, about scheming for Survive Block Island. And I was like, you probably shouldn't be telling me this stuff. And he's like, are you on the show? And I was like, no, I'm not in the show. And he's like, oh, yeah, we'll just disregard it. But I'm producing it.

I helped make it. I'm going to be watching in the control room everything that you're doing. And now I know your dumb plans so I can I can make sure to catch him to clarify my plan. Yeah, the plan was just the fact that neither of us have capture cards for our computer. And I don't know if we need those. And the premise of like part of the story just not being present because neither of us are capturing what is happening.

Where do we do? We make that home. Where do we film it? Yeah, you guys film from home. Oh, I can't film from home. You can't film a PC game on Steam? No, I've rearranged it. I've trashed this setup.

Well, you might have to come in for it then. Well, all right. So wait, I do need a capture card? No, you just need to be able to... Do you have OBS? No, I'll figure it out. It's just a PC game and you just have to be able to record PC footage. You i'll figure it out it's just a pc game and you just have to be able to record pc footage you don't need a capture card for that got it but we're

gonna be in that and uh i'm not gonna backstab you gavin promise make you swear oh i was simultaneously filled with joy and dread when you said you were gonna be on it really i was just excited and for the brief moment i thought jeff was on it. I was like, this is great. I'm going to send you so many socks. I can't be on it. I know all this stuff. It'd be unfair. This was fun. I'm glad we did too. We learned a lot.

We got the videos that are coming out. We got to talk about that we're doing that. Gavin hates scoring. This was a good episode. That was a good one. Was it this episode or last episode that we discovered Gavin was going to make

the pizza? The Branson pickle pizza. This episode. Oh, yeah. It's a great episode, then. It's a great episode. Yeah, we got a whole new recipe. That happened like 20 minutes ago. That's awesome. A plus plus. What if one or two of you watch that freaking video and then we'll upload it? I'm so excited. Please upload the file as soon as we're done.

Could you send us the fucking other video? Yeah, but also watch baseballs for Christ's sake. I will. I'll watch both of them. Can't wait. All right. How long is it? Just off the top of your head.

I don't remember. Let me see. Here's my note. It's probably too long. Let me see. Here's my note. It's probably too long. Let me see. I'm looking it up right now. It is nine and a half minutes. Oh, yeah.

That's a seven-minute video, Max, probably. Thanks for your feedback. No problem. Happy to help. Okay. I guess I should stop it. Nobody else is going to do it. I guess I should stop it. Nobody else is going to do it.

Thanks for listening to another episode of the... You started. You ended the show. This is your thing. This is what you do. Yeah, that's fine. I was saying that. Nobody else is going to do it, so I better do it.

No. This is what you do. I was... No, yeah, no. I'm not arguing with you. Is this the final version of the intro or the outro, or are they going to be notes? I'll be honest. It's too long. The end.

Hey, guys. Major League Fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face. Nick screwed up the secret. Gavin gets his movies wrong. What is Eric's limit? You're going to find out what all the beeping was about. Gavin and Jeff have the wettest of fives. Water and laptops do not mix. Jeff is an excellent diver. And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F***Face.