Regulation Podcast - Geoff Puts His Anus Over the Pencil Grenade // Regulation Caboose [72]

Episode Date: October 13, 2021

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about taste receptors, Geoff still not throwing the ball, letting go of the pencil bet?, Geoff vs Tiger Balm Round 2, McDonald's Train Car, and Andrew knows Wendy from Wendy's. Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to [e-mail] Sponsored by HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/face14 and use code face14) and Raycon (http://buyraycon.com/face). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I don't like this search. What? I'm looking up stuff about things. What the fuck does that mean? What the fuck is that? You missed a whole thing. There was a whole argument at the end of, well, yeah, I guess last episode. It'd be fair to say the end of it.

After it, you left. There's a brief argument that I had to do some research on. What was the argument? I guess we should save it. Do I bring it up now? I guess we're recording. Gavin will be here in a minute. It's about taste buds.

What about them? We had a little bit of an argument about taste buds and their possible locations, where they can be in the body. They're on your tongue. They're on your tongue. I said that they were also in your ass, and that's why you felt spicy things. I forgot about this. Well, I will say, and Gavin will have to corroborate this, there was a bit on the Howard... Oh, I guess Eric would know, too. There was a bit on the Howard Stern years ago

where Richard Christie was able to correctly identify flavors of beer poured into his ass five out of six times. I don't think that was to do with any taste bud, though. I just assumed that was sort of the feel and maybe the aroma. What do you mean, the feel? The anal feel of beer? What do you mean?

Well, you've got nerves. Okay, but I don't think I could tell the feel if it was in my mouth. If you pour me, like like seven different types of drinks. Liquid's liquid. Yeah, it's liquid. You can tell like carbonation or viscosity through your mouth. But that's not like taste. Taste would be the factor, not feel.

I bet you all liquids feel the same. Yeah, I'm kind of with Andrew on that. I mean, maybe not identical, but i don't think six beers feel different enough to tell from with your butthole maybe you could tell the difference between like motor oil and uh like pepsi or something but i don't know that you could tell the difference from beer to beer yeah well how come you don't taste taste a poo coming out then oh that's a fuck uh i don't like that well you're the one who said you got taste but that's a fuck. Uh, I don't like that. Well, you're the one who said you got taste, but that's what I thought. That's what I heard.

So I did some research from what do you mean? I don't know. Where do you learn anything? I can't source most of the stuff I've learned. Where did you learn? Well, no, that was going to be a real dumb one. Wow. Glad I glad I cut myself.

That was going to be. No, don't worry about it. We're good. But I did some Googles. I did some Googling, and I found out there are not taste buds in your ass. That was wrong, but I was directionally correct. There are taste receptors in your ass as well as all over your body. You got taste receptors all over the place.

I think they're in your balls. They're everywhere. They're in useless places. That's a good thing to go out there. I don't know. They're in useless places i don't know they're in useless place it sounded like science so from my interpretation scientists were like where are their taste receptors holy fuck their taste receptors everywhere we don't know why we don't know why this is this way but you got them all over the place including the butt including

the asshole i don't think i've ever tasted anything with anything else. Like, on purpose? Like, what do you mean? I know what he means. I know what he means. He's never noticed a taste on anything on his body other than his tongue. Yeah, I've never, like, lying down on a sun lounger and, like, blech. Or he never, like, spilled chocolate shake on his

knee and went, oh, I can still taste it. Well, I'm not a scientist. i'm not a doctor i don't know how these they work but i do know they're there i do trust smarter more generally educated and informed people about taste receptors are saying that there are taste receptors in your ass and i will trust those people i agree dude i think you can taste stuff with your butthole totally now i don't. I believe every taste bud also has taste receptors, but not every taste receptor has a bud.

It's how that works out. So the question is, will Jeff taste his milk icicle? That is a great question. Yeah, that is sort of what led into this. Hold on. Jeff, did you do your homework? We're getting off track.

First off, hello and welcome to another episode of F*** Face. I believe it is episode 72. My name is Jeff and with me as always, Andrew and Brick. How are you guys doing? I'm doing great. I feel like I've established some solid points in this episode. I think this one's going well for me.

I like the start. I wonder, I mean, I get that a taste of bud is... Oh, by the way, but you didn't say how you're doing, Brick. That's me, right? Yeah. That's what we determined last week. It's a triangle. I'll be honest.

Last week, my internet was cutting out left and right, and I can't remember a lot that happened. At one point, Andrew was about to say something funny, and I didn't hear the end of it. And then when I heard the sound come back on, he was mad that neither of us reacted so i was like i feel like i missed out on something there i guess you haven't been able to listen to that episode yet either i don't know if this was on if we captured this on audio or not but that episode stepped down we stepped down from that episode and we were like that was one of the better episodes we've done in a while i felt really good about it really great and you were

like i have no i didn't hear any of it i have no idea what happened i heard the the back half of a lot of sentences and i said a lot of stuff uh followed by silence but who knows how it turned out from what i remember from what i did experience I do remember it being quite a nice one. Yeah, it was a good, it was a goodie. That was a great pivot though, Jeff. Have you done your homework? What is, uh,

let's focus back on that. How's your homework doing? You do your homework? Oh, yeah. I picked Tiffany. I think she's gonna win Survivor. Thanks for asking. That's the same homework.

Gavin, who did you pick? That was not the homework. I picked Howard Stern. Right, right, right. You picked that guy. Anyway, what's new with you guys? What's new is I was just curious if you did the homework of trying the product that you've been trying to pitch for the last episode. 40 minutes of the last episode.

Any update on that? Hold on a second. Let me think of it so I can remember what you're talking about. Is this an old bit we did a while back? Oh, I tried. Beef bracelet? Portaberry? Yep.

Sure. It was that one. It wasn't the one where you covered your ass in Tiger Bomb and then was surprised. I feel like I can smell loyas coming on. The worst part is I don't even know if Gavin can back me up because he missed all of last episode. So I feel like this is really, I'm in a corner here. I'll be honest. I don't remember what you're talking about,

but that's not to say it didn't happen. Was this something, was this pencil related? No, no. It was like the pencil equivalent of your asshole though. It looked like a pencil. Yeah.

It looked, it was more like a blade, I would say. It's very sharp. It's a weapon. You know, I'll be honest with you guys. I would say. It's very sharp. It's a weapon. You know, I'll be honest with you guys. I've been so busy doing other stuff. I didn't remember to stick a fucking joke popsicle up my asshole.

Yeah, I just, it slipped my mind. I'm real sorry. That's the best place it could slip, probably. I'm real sorry, but I also, I gotta be honest with you. At 46 years old, I don't know that my prop icicle up my asshole covered in tiger balm days aren't behind

me. It might be a younger man's game. It might be. I could see that. What if we sub the pencil for the ice pick? I'll tell you what I did. For the icicle. I'll tell you what I did do. Okay. I scheduled a colonoscopy.

That'll be way more invasive. Okay. I mean, what? So, is there... I've never had a colonoscopy. Is there pain afterward, I'd assume? Uh, no, not at all. You're asleep the whole time.

But there's no, like, wake up. But it's more invasive. It is more invasive, but I was just curious. They toilet snake a camera through you. I was curious if you would need some ice in the hole. If that would be good. If there's some swelling down there, it could be a multi-use product. The problem with the colonoscopy is the prep.

It's all the shit you gotta drink to clean yourself. And then all the shit you gotta shit. It's like the 48 hours of shitting your brains out and then like having to drink 18 gallons of this gross contact liquid i'm just imagining a cut man with one of your your popsicles as like a scenario which that could be needed how terrifying that'd be he's got like the lube the wraps i'll be on i'll be honest i was hoping against hope that you would forget and then we would oh no that's not the only thing i haven't forgot about jeff jeff how fast have you been able to throw a baseball that was a few weeks ago at this point

what's your what's your bottom number oh we haven't done it yet i saw the ball yeah we haven't on the ball though why haven't you thrown the ball yet? My favorite thing about the ball Is that there's three digits on it Like who's thrown 100 miles an hour That thing I don't know It goes up to 120 So you know

120? They wouldn't put it there If there wasn't a need Why haven't you thrown it? I'm all about throwing the ball I don't know Because it hasn't been I feel like at this point

It's a thing If we're gonna do it There, there's got to be. We've got to film it, right? No. Well, yeah. Film it now. Yeah, I don't. I can't.

It doesn't need to be a thing. You setting the low bar. The thing is three months from when you throw it. That's the thing. Trying to hit the number. Did we determine it was three months? Yes. Yes, we did.

From the point of you throwing, you have three months to prepare for. When did we land was three months? Yes. Yes, we did. From the point of you throwing, you have three months to prepare for the second throw. When did we land on three months? You said it in an episode, like three episodes ago, or whenever we brought it up. You're like, I'll throw it, and then in three months, I'll give another three. I said, I probably, I doubt I was that definitive. I was probably like, in a few months, three or six.

Because I feel like six is probably closer to what a, but I don't know. We don't know, because we'll see. You said three. It depends. Hold on. like six is probably closer to what a... But I don't know. We don't know because I will see... You said three. It depends. Hold on. Two episodes ago, you said about six months,

I think, is what Nick said. Okay, that's fair. He typoed that. Oh, yeah. He didn't typo it. You misread his three as a six.

Two episodes ago, you said about six months, I think. Then Eric said six months. Then Nick said six. And then he said it in Spanish. He said six. Hey, guys, it in Spanish. He said six. Hey, guys, what's up?

Producer Eric here. How's it going? So just wanted to step in and get a definitive call on this. Jeff said that he would need three months to train from the first throw of the baseball. So he was going to throw the baseball, get a baseline for how fast he could throw, and then with his shoulder that I think is the one with arthritis he's going

to throw 80 miles an hour uh just after he has set his initial baseline he said he needed three months to train and then at that point what we're going to do is film it in slow motion get an umpire a catcher and a guy with a radar gun we're gonna go out to a field field, and Jeff is going to throw a baseball probably 72 miles an hour. Well, that would be eight miles under what I need. I like the idea that you think you just need three more months to do it. That's what I appreciate about you right now. It'll be like three months a little tight, but six months, I can definitely do it in six months. Three months from when I throw the first baseball.

I'm saying I don't think we could give you six years. I don't think it makes a difference. It'll definitely happen in six years. Why don't we do a tiered system then? You get first prize if you do it in three months. And if it's within six years, you get like bronze. We don't need that. We'll do three months and that's what it is.

We'll throw the baseball soon. We have to figure out how to set the distance or whatever on it. We'll throw the little baseball soon. We'll film that. We'll do three months and that's what it is. We'll throw the baseball soon. We'll have to figure out how to set the distance or whatever on it. We'll throw the little baseball soon. We'll film that. We'll get it officially recorded and then we'll go from there. Okay. But I'm not the producer of the show. Well, you're the one with the baseball.

So I feel like you have agency over what it's thrown. You have all the pieces. I don't know what the producer has to do with. Literally, you just need an iPhone. You throw a ball against a wall, see it's like 40.

You know what I'm hearing? I'm hearing you produce this bit. That's awesome, dude. What a producer would do. Great job. I'm not producing. I'm just telling you how to do this very simple thing

that you're avoiding because you're scared. You're backing down from the 80. I'm not scared. Oh, no, no're scared. That is what a producer did. You realize 80s have... I'm not scared at all. I think 80 is highly doable, and I have every confidence that I can throw this ball 80 miles an hour.

You don't have to worry about it. Do you need help setting the distance and filming it, Jeff? Yeah. I don't think you need slow motion. Here's what I need. Here's what I need. I need somebody else in F***face to lift a finger to help me.

Well, I've lifted fingers before. And I haven't lifted at all. I could do it again. I really appreciate it. I really appreciate it that time you did it. I didn't know you needed help initially throwing the ball. You said you were just going to throw the ball. I didn't know that you needed it.

If I would have known that, we would have already gotten this going. Yeah, let's do it, man. I thought this was all hinging on you throwing the ball. Yes. I got to throw the ball to set the base time. Right. I didn't know you needed help with that. Well, I figure I didn't initially,

but now that it's become a thing, if it's going to end up on YouTube, if it's going to be a whole deal, then I think it should be treated as something we should have. It was always a thing, but the thing was the second part. The first part was never the thing. The thing is you try to actually set 80.

Because we all agree you're not just going to throw 80. What kind of video do you have where we don't see the first part and then you just see me throw it 80 miles an hour? You don't need a fucking... We have a video that's not going to exist. You're going to have... You need a video of me throwing it in the high 50s, early 60s, and then you need a video of me throwing it in the high 50s early 60s and then you need a video of me throwing it 81 82 like michael jones i just love the idea of trying to sell this

youtube channel we have videos such as jeff rides a bike jeff throws a ball it's really top-notch stuff you and and you ride a jet ski and me wait you you think that you're going to top out in your first throw. You think you're going to throw 58 miles an hour and then in three months, you're going to throw 80 miles an hour. Why don't you just said, I think my first throw after not throwing a baseball for however many years

will probably, probably not be representative of what I could do with even three or four days of training. Have you thrown the ball at all? No. Any for us? No. I don't understand. I think he needs help with the

measurement because you need to set a distance and I assume it calculates from when it goes from 0G to when it feels an impact. So if it doesn't know the set distance, it doesn't know the speed. Yeah, he's got a point. It's a lot of math involved. I think it got a point. It's a lot of math involved. I think it's just math.

It's a math spool. Yeah. I don't... Okay. Well, you should throw a baseball so we get a base number and you can begin your training. I'm very excited to see you train.

60 feet, 6 inches is how far it needs to go. That's very specific. I have... I have my burger confidence. I'm irrationally confident about burgers, historically. Jeff is absurd with his baseball throwing speed he's got baseball confidence i'm curious what your confidence is gavin we haven't encountered it yet i don't think

like what is the thing that you irrationally believe in yourself being able to do that's interesting have you ever i think i'm i think i've yet to find my confidence. Like just in general or within a bit for this? There has had to have been a time where you're like, I can do a little bit of this and you're way up. A little bit of both. I feel like Jeff knows something I don't. I'm just laughing and I've yet to find my confidence. I'm getting it someday.

Because you're in your 30s. I'm trying to think. Yeah, I mean, I don't think I've ever been as confident, Andrew, as you were that you could eat burgers. But also that resulted

in nothing for you because you've still never done that or come close. I've come close. I reject that. The second time I did it, I ate like 42 of them.

I got close. I thought the second time you did it, you ate like 42 of them. I got close. I thought the second time you did it, you ordered the wrong ones and then stopped halfway through. No, that was the third. Oh, sorry, that was the third attempt. Yeah, that was try number three. Look, if you were 42 in, away from 50,

that's way closer than 58 miles an hour to 80. So I would say you're closer to your burger victory than Jeff is from his baseball victory. That's a fantastic point. Do you think? And I didn't do any training for mine. I just showed up. I don't know about that.

You train every day. No. You train three times a day, motherfucker. That's like if you showed up to a marathon and did no running and was like, I walk. I walk every day. I've been training. If it and was like, I walk. I walk every day. I've been training. If it's a walking marathon, then you're training every day. No, it's not training.

Just because you do a thing doesn't make it training. If you go to an eating competition and you eat every day, that's training. That's not training. It is training. That's not. No. I reject this. It's a ridiculous comparison.

Are you saying by eating one burger a day, you're training? If I was eating a burger a day, that might be training. I could maybe see that point. That's such a specific food and I'm only eating burgers. Just general eating isn't training. I'm not fucking eating popcorn at the movie theater being like I'm training. I'm working. I'm putting in the extra time. I'm getting a refill like I'm in the gym right now. What if you ate it really training that speed has nothing to do with it's a different texture first of all You would say speed if you ain't get fast enough your buddy wouldn't realize it Yeah, but it's not it's like if you're playing tennis, and you're fucking playing on clay courts

It's not gonna be the same when you're playing on different courts. It's not going to be the same when you're playing on different courts. You're still playing tennis. You're still training at tennis. All of your analogies involve tennis. The second one in two weeks. What was my other tennis night?

You were writing a letter. It's like if every tennis hit was a different game or something. What is it with you and tennis? I don't remember the other one. Let me tell you about a drill we used to do called the Slime Machine back when I played tennis.

You like tennis almost as much as you like honey mustard. Oh, not even close. I'm pretty indifferent to tennis. Tennis is a great if it's on, I'll watch it type sport. It's fun, but I'm never chasing. I'm just relating it to how many times you brought it up without trying. Okay, let me think of a different. What's an analogy where you're doing something?

Is walking training for swimming? Those aren't the same things. You're moving your legs in both. Jesus fucking Christ. You can't apply those two things as the same. Those are different things. You've lost me there. No, but I would say that.

Well, you got to kick your legs. I would say dog paddling in a pool is probably training for swimming. Yeah, but that's swimming. Yeah, so eating is eating. No, but it's different because the part of eating... Ingesting food... The part of your mouth... Down your throat and into your stomach...

It's not the function of eating. Competitive eating isn't training for the function of asshole. It's not the function of eating. Competitive eating isn't training for the function of eating. It's the storage of the food. That is what you train for. Also like jaw things, I guess that is technically more like the chewing. You gotta build up your muscles. You gotta get your strength. The majority

of chewing technique. I'm sure it's all about that chewing technique. There's no chewing technique. Like chew, chew, uh. Chew, chew, uh. Or like some people are probably like. There's no chewing technique. Like, chew, chew, uh, chew, chew, uh. Or like, some people are probably like, chew, chew, chew, chew, chew, chew, chew, chew. You don't know? No. You're not a professional eater. I do. I'm not, but I

did research one night before I was gonna do the thing. And it sounds like, from my understanding, it's about just creating space in your stomach. Essentially like stretching your stomach out, getting it comfortable with expanding it so you can store more than the base stomach. That's where the training. You told us that it was you were training your brain to eat quickly because you'd be further along before your brain caught up or some shit.

You had all kinds of. No, I was just trying to go fast because I figured if I ate as much as possible, my brain wouldn't know what was happening until I got further along. And it worked on the second one. I feel like, as you know, Andrew, it's your redemption year. I feel like maybe a fourth attempt might be on the cards. No, here's the thing about the burgers. When you do the burgers, it takes a lot out of you. You lose a part of your soul every time you go into that McDonald's bag.

So you've lost three chunks of soul? I've lost more than three chunks. Do you know what you haven't had to do? Stick a milk popsicle up your asshole. Talk about losing a piece of your soul. I'm going to stab my soul. Well, that's what I was saying. I think we could potentially write off the entire pencil punishment

and just have Andrew do the milk popsicle. Oh. No. I'm not the one selling it. That was my issue with Jeff is that he spent 40 minutes talking about how great it is. Yeah, but you can effectively erase a debt here. And it is the redemption year. I'm going to erase a debt by

doing Jeff's debt in a bet that I lost to you. Is that what you're saying? Is that how that works? I owe the pencil because of a bet I lost to you. You owe the audience the pencil. No, I owe you the pencil. The audience is just demanding it,

but I owe you the pencil. The comment leavers have failed to stop leaving comments about the pencil, Andrew. I haven't made a bet with the comment leavers. I made a bet with you, and I lost that bet. Can I just say, it doesn't matter who's in front. What's that, Jeff? Just a little aside because this goes into something

that I wanted to talk about briefly anyway. There was a thread on Reddit. I don't know if either of you or if any of you saw it recently. It was somebody got the Billy Ripken face card and posted it and then there was like hundreds of people in the comments. But the top comment on the Billy Ripken face card and posted it. And then there was like hundreds of people in the comments.

But the top comment on the Billy Ripken, like just in like baseball cards or whatever thread is eat the pencil, Andrew. It is the top fucking comment on some other subreddit about that baseball card.

And then there's about 500 other face comments, which is awesome to go to some other corner of the Internet and find facersfacers, comment leavers going nuts, but it is literally, eat the

pencil, Andrew, is the number one comment, which I just find to be very funny. I mean, what more of a perfect end to your redemption year, Andrew, than to eat the pencil? Or to swap the pencil? But you're not pitching that! You're saying, what more than a perfect end to your redemption here's what i'm

gonna do then you're not doing the thing people are demanding and instead do a thing that jeff said he would do i'll be right back it makes no sense gavin i i just want your redemption year to be as whole as possible and i feel like you're off to a good start, but you haven't redeemed yourself in like two months. I want it to be as whole as it can while avoiding certain holes. I will cover upper holes I'm okay with to make it whole. Lower holes not... What if I... Because here's the thing. You got taste receptors in your mouth too. Yeah, that's true. Could I just try... Could I do the same test with the mouth

what test i need to look into tiger bomb oh well to test the efficiency because that's really where this comes down to it's an efficiency test of how quickly you can remove the spice yeah i don't know like i don't think we know if milk actually counters the spice of a tiger bomb ointment at all i think that's that was the basis we're thinking that it's only the uh the peppers the hot peppers yeah the uh oh what's it called the uh fucking shit i'm not gonna remember it the jalapenos i don't know why i'm still trying no not that there's a word for it there's a specific spice word people are like oh it has this many of those oh you're yeah the scoville yeah that's what i was thinking of so where did you go jeff i here's what i've People are like, oh, it has this many of those. Oh, the Scoville? Yeah, the Scoville.

That's what I was thinking of. So where did you go, Jeff? Here's what I've done. Because I don't want to... Well, first off, I got to thinking about it. I don't want to rile the comment leavers up because they get... You start talking pencils and they get whipped up into a frenzy.

And it's the same thing with the port-a-potties or the sauces. I don't want to turn this into a whole other sauce thing. So while you guys were arguing about capsaicin or whatever, I went ahead and just said, we'll see what happens. I went and I cracked open a new container of Tiger Bomb Ultra, and I put just the tiniest bit of my butthole. So I'm just going to sit here, and I'm going to deal with that.

What is wrong with you? I'm going to deal with that while we're sitting here, and if it's bad enough, I may not have a choice. What? He won't film it and throw a baseball, but he'll just put Tiger Bomb in his ass on an audio podcast. I mean, I put Tiger Bomb on my balls on Achievement Hunter video once. It's like, that part's easy.

The hard part to me is to mentally, you know, get there to put that thing in my butthole. But if I'm in such excruciating pain... Is that wise right before a colonoscopy? That's a couple months ago. I just scheduled it. I'm also... Do you have a no spicy icy?

Is that what it was called? Do you have one on hand? The no spicy... Yeah, I got the original. I got the prototype. What do you mean? You still have the original? It's been in my freezer this whole time. That makes

it so much worse for whatever reason. Well, it's like two weeks old. Yeah, the older it gets, like you hear that it's just a frozen product. Hey, I don't... Hey, I'll tell you what my asshole doesn't have. Taste buds. The taste receptors in my butthole aren't gonna care. That's true. That's fair. Okay. It's a

wild move by you. Nick has a good point here he says uh hopefully it's not freezer bird yeah i'm sure it is uh i i'm also not sure it's going anywhere near me we're just gonna see how bad this and and and i'll be honest with you it's getting it's getting it's getting it's getting it's so where would you rate the uncomfortable how uncomfortable is it currently between one and ten So where would you rate the uncomfortable? How uncomfortable is it currently between one and ten? Sounds like it got in his mouth. How close is your mouth to your asshole?

It's making me cough for some reason and I'm sweating. I'm sweating like I'm outside. It's like, oh my god. What does it taste like, Jeff? It's not good. This is the new drinking from a can without burping. He's going to do this every week. No, I'm not. I'm not doing this again.

I'm not doing this again. I don't know why I made me cough, but it also cleared my nose out. You can clear your nose out through your asshole. It's like Vicks vapor up your anus. It goes all the way, it goes straight into you. I don't know why you did this. I don't know why you're willing I don't know why you're really do this but you want I want I wanted to calm the pencil beast that's all okay oh respect that but it's just it seems you know it was I did it out of abundance of love for you Andrew huh you did I was done I see jumped on the grenade you jumped on the pencil grenade.

It was. It was very considerate of you, Jeff. I appreciate your suffering. No problem. Jeff put his anus over the pencil grenade. He did. I don't know why it's making me cry. How did you apply it to your anus? With your finger?

That I cleaned after. Yes. I washed my hands. See, I can't tell if I'm You did it You did it Quite early in the podcast We still got like

Half of it left Yeah Well I figured We'll see Andrew usually Suddenly does something Right at the end But

Not usually the first half Well see if I did it At the end If I did it at the end Then I could just wait out The podcast ending And then I wouldn't have to Face The popsicle,

which I'm still, you know, not super on board with. Just so you guys know. Well, you don't have to. I was just curious if you did the homework. That's really where this stemmed from. No, I didn't. I didn't. And I'm taking the punishment.

I did my homework. My homework is done. You want to give us a homework update? You got us a homework update you get us you get us a you got us a jet ski i've i've secured secured some aquatic vehicles that's all i'll say that was the standard last time i've uh i've reached out i've acquired what we need jet skis are in hand possibly i don't want to tip my hand. It'll be a nice surprise, but we got them.

I did mine. I did my part. I don't like the way you phrased it as aquatic vehicles. It was like how you phrased writing utensil. We don't know what that's going to mean. It's a jet ski.

I think that's fair. I got us what we needed. I did my part. You bought a pair of skis with fireworks on the back, haven't you? That's a jet ski to you. What have you made? I haven't made anything. I did not make a single thing.

I've acquired this as a product. We're good. I've done my part. Aren't we supposed to do something in GTA or something? First, I don't know why you made me do the homework of acquiring the vehicles before we did the part where we're going to test in a video game if it was worth doing. But I've done my part. I tried to actually set that up today and I realized I didn't have GTA installed and

it takes a fucking year to install. So it's installing in the background right now so that I can build that map for us. Okay. How's everybody? Well, I'm excited. Is everybody else hot? God damn. I don don't get a drink you guys keep i'll be back i need a drink where do i suffered a great betrayal where do you think he's gonna pull the drink yeah what's the betrayal uh that's a great question i'd assume the mouth i don't think the ass you think

that jeff has like a butt chug type setup for if you were going to try to alleviate would you use water like what liquid would you use to on a hot ass yeah yes probably just cold water yeah i think i'd probably i'd probably lie down in the bath uh swing the old legs you know knees up towards the head and turn on the cold tap. I think I'd go sparkling water personally. I want a little bit of bubble. Make it a little bit fun. You would add fizz to a tangy anus?

Sounds like a nightmare. The bubbling would be a nightmare. It just sounds like a fun time. Normal water is bland. It's been an anus heavy couple of weeks and I think Jeff has guaranteed that by putting something into his this episode. Yeah, we're not a...

We're not a podcast about... We're not a podcast about sports, Survivor, or buttholes, but they come up a lot. My great betrayal. My pillow wall betrayed me. I got betrayed. Did you wake up with a stiff neck? Oh, no, that has never happened.

Did it collapse on you and bury you? No. Well, sort of. It didn't bury me, so I had a whole issue. I took some damage. The pillow wall fell down. It was a great collapse of the pillow wall. But I wasn't in the bed when it fell. I just climbed into bed.

And I hate laying on pillows that are on me, like underneath me. I find it super uncomfortable. I need to, like if it's on my body, I don't like it. I need to have my head or shoulder as the main point of contact. So I slid down the bed. And because the pillow was in like the middle of the bed, my feet were hanging out the bottom of the bed by quite a lot. And I'm not a fan of that either.

I have still have it baked into it when I was a kid, you know, with like the monster under the bed type thing. I don't like any limb or my feet sticking out the bottom. It's just easy to grab. It makes me uncomfortable. I don't like it. I'm not a fan of it at all.

But I slept like that one night. It was terrible. So the next day, or I guess a few days later, I was sleeping in my bed, and I was dreaming that I was back in that scenario again. My dream was that I was in the middle of the bed. My feet were sticking out. I was like, ah, this is no good.

I got to climb up the bed. Smash my head into the wall. I was like, ah, this is no good. I got to climb up the bed. Smash my head into the wall. I was already at the top of the bed. I went full force, head first, forehead first into my wall. Smashed it against it. Wait, so you were lying down in bed, dreaming that you were lying down in bed, but a foot further down?

Yes. Yes, that was my dream. And in the dream, I was like, I need to get higher. There was no higher to go. But in my dream, in the dream i was like i need to get hired there was no higher to go but in my dream i picked myself up off the bed and like threw myself upwards and i went straight into the wall was i just lifted up and headbutted it what time is is it when this happens it's like 7 30 a.m maybe and you're dead ass asleep i was dead ass asleep and i got woken up and it fucking it was not good is it dark in the room oh it's so bright as i said before my blinds are some bullshit they don't they don't block anything so it's super bright i'm very confused i'm angry at my dream i'm angry

at my pillow wall for deceiving me this deception caused by collapsing how was none of it of like all the seven or eight pillows how was none of them against the wall though because i was at the very top of the wall so they were i was still it doesn't make any sense still i've seen pictures of it i know how are you sleeping on the top of the eighth pillow how is your back not upright oh i'm on my side so it was a side dive into the wall and i bring some of the pillows down with me, I guess. I don't know, but yeah. I woke up to me slamming my head into my wall. I like stuff that makes you bad.

Like when you had to take a hate nap. Oh, yeah. What's the most annoyed you've been recently over something that doesn't matter long-term in your life? The most annoyed... Like slipping on a sushi container or something small like that. That's not even... That was funny. I was laughing when I fell on the sushi

container. Yeah, I just mean something as inconsequential as that. The most inconsequential... That I was angry about? That I was genuinely frustrated about? Yeah. Ah, fuck. I don't get frustrated all that often. I was as frustrated about...

I'm not sure if we talked about it on this podcast or a different one. Did I talk about what always makes me, like, 10 out of 10 angry suddenly, and it's really irrational? No. No. It's if I... It doesn't really happen anymore because of wireless headphones. But if I ever had, like, headphones in on a wire and i caught it on like a door handle or something and it ripped the headphones out of my ears it just really pissed

me off to the point where i was like way more annoyed than most other things i would go to like from like one out of ten to ten out of ten for like five seconds and then back down to one but i can't describe why that's so annoying to me i just i freaking hate it when that happens well luckily that oh man my butt that uh luckily that should never happen to you again right because you'll just use earbuds right uh maybe that problem's solved you know i got i have one and it involves you oh man it was me yeah i got irrationally angry at you for like two seconds last night when i looked over at you and you were smirking when it looked like my character and survivor was trying to hang herself uh and

get voted out and i was like you motherfucker i was i was like I was angry at you for like two seconds and I was like, I gave it a little like. But you can't have been angry, angry. I was for like one second. I was like, you. I was like,

oh yeah, this is, we're off duty. You have that ability. She was so close to going. Yeah. I don't want us to go necessarily too far down

the survivor rabbit hole. No, let's not do it. That's one of the worst picks I've ever seen jeff that was a horrendous pick i didn't process at the time when you texted it last night what a dog shit pick by no no i 0 chance did that happen i completely and totally agree with you andrew here's here's how that went so i thought when we uh i thought when we were gonna pick survivor the way emily and i always do it is we pick who we think is going to win in the opening episode

when they do the first reveal in the montage with the names and the characters. I picked her there because she had a cancer-surviving story. She's a double mastectomy survivor. It was inspirational. I know that Survivor, the editors tend to love those kinds of stories

and those people tend to go far. and they also have like a new lease on life and they tend to like be able to push themselves further and stuff because they like no matter how bad this is it's probably not as bad as what they've gone through previously you know so i feel like some sometimes those people tend to like tend to rise to the top uh in survivor and so i made the decision then in my head and then when we didn't end up picking until later on at the end, the next reason I thought, well, to be fair to the way I play it anyway,

I'll just stick with who my first thought was because that's who my first thought was. And I don't think she'll win. And I'm amazed that she didn't get herself voted out this week. Well, I picked the guy that looks like Dave England and Howard Stern had a baby. He's my favorite character of the show so far i think he's going to text no i think he will make it to the end i'm just surprised so they did their

whole montage you're right jeff her whole story very inspiring also a key part of her story was that she was almost not on the show it sounded like she was a replacement for a replacement she was yeah so i don't i'm surprised that that also didn't factor in. Like clearly not a top first round draft pick. It was meant to be. Okay. Fair enough.

I like Gavin's pick more and I thought, I think I was so distracted by Gavin's pick that I completely missed yours. And that is It's a great pick. the end of Survivor talk.

Yeah, we're not gonna talk about that anymore. I, uh, Oh, man. How's your anus? You okay? end of Survivor talk this week. Yeah, we're not gonna talk about that anymore. Oh, man. How's your anus? You okay? It's not good. I mean, it's like... It's making me tired. It's sapping my energy, you know? It doesn't get any worse or get any

better. It's just like you maintain this level of ass pain, and then so you just have to... It just drains your energy level. Wherever you're going, you better believe American Express will be right there with you. Heading for adventure? We'll help you breeze through security.

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Visit amex.ca slash yamx. Benefits vary by card. Terms apply. I have another note in my notes that I don't understand. Okay. Bog roll for us. Similar to bog roll

for us. I don't know what this means. Okay, this is the note. Timing piss is wrong. Anyone else sucked a glass? Timing piss is wrong. So, what could that mean? Suck the glass timing pisses so what could that mean suck the glass could be in reference to when i gave myself hickeys sucking the bottle cap maybe and we talked about glass sucking at that time i don't know if that's that's related to that timing pissing i'm thinking about

austin powers i don't know is this recent? When do you write your notes? This is a fairly... This is probably the last two months. No, I don't... Oh, Nick says, is this a drink contest so you can go the longest without pissing?

No, I don't think it's that. Is that your confidence? Do you have piss confidence? No, I don't have piss confidence. Narrow that off the list. What could that mean? Comment leavers, let me know if you know that. By the way, can I just say,

this is perfect retribution for me for all the years you made fun of me for not understanding my notes that I'd write in the idea book. I love this. And I was sober when I wrote that. I had a realization. I know, Jeff, you've seen it.

I've talked to Eric about it. Gavin has no idea. I'd love to ask Gavin this question. Okay. Just to see his perspective. Have you ever seen a train car outside of the McDonald's? No. So the McDonald's where I grew up, both of them had train cars outside of them.

On the street? What do you mean? On a track? No, like right next to the restaurant. Like they were connected to the, they were right outside. They were like probably like, I don't know, 15 feet away from the restaurant typically. To the side. When you'd have a birthday party, that's where they'd hold the party.

All the kids would get to go on the train. You eat in the McDonald's. It was called Ronald's Caboose. party all the kids would get to go on the train you eat in the mcdonald's it was called ronald's caboose and it was just part it was part of my mcdonald's experience growing up and i was thinking i'd never thought about it my whole life until like two nights three nights ago it's like that's fucking weird that there's nothing about the mcdonald's brand that has trains tied to it why was there a train in these mcdonald's why was this thing so i i asked somebody they lived in a different country so i assumed like oh that makes sense that they wouldn't have

it um but then i learned that apparently the mcdonald's train is not a universal staple of like 90s childhood mcdonald's they're like rare there's only a handful of mcdonald's that had these trains i still don't know why they are i'll try to so they were specifically put there they didn't just buy a lot of land that had a train stuck on it no they were they specifically bought these trains for their restaurants it wasn't like they acquired it with the purchase of the land they brought cabooses in at one point according to this train website i read that mcdonald's as a business owned more cabooses than any other in the world. More than a train company?

They had more cabooses than like freight companies? Listen, I realize that that seems like an absurd statement. I'm not the one sourcing it. This was according to some train fan website. And I'm going to trust the enthusiasm. If you own a train website and you're updating it, I feel like you're probably pretty knowledgeable about trains. Is a caboose a specific type of train car,

or is it just the back one? Like, what is a caboose? So, based off of the images that I've seen, I think there is a regulation caboose. It might have slight changes. That was another weird thing. There was no structure to how they had to look. Like, there was regulations

in, I guess, their company policy of where you could place them, but every McDonald's, every Ronald's caboose painted a little bit differently. This episode, regulation caboose. Regulation caboose. Let me see if I can find photos of...

It appears we've lost jeff we have lost jeff we've lost jeff to his own anus he wrote in the chat i gotta go deal with this it hurts too bad brb i'll send you this is a photo of ronald's caboose this is the one of the ones outside of outside of the mcdonald's where i live this is a ronald's caboose cabin it is like painted red and yellow like mcdonald's it is there's a few other ones that i like i'm not sure where this one is based out of this is one of my favorite designs it looks like it's just ramming into the restaurant like it's moments before disaster they've built a mcdonald's on a train car this is i've never seen anything like this. It expands. I thought the ones, the McDonald's with, like,

the golden arches were the rare ones, like the old-style ones. The ones where the train crashed through the side of the building, that's the rare one. Where is that?

I have no idea where that one is. I have another one, though. It gets wild. There is a variation. I just don't think people realize that there's a whole theme

of McDonald's-based vehicle restaurants. There is a McDonald's plane in New Zealand. They've got a plane version where you can like order the food from the restaurant and then hop in the plane, eat in the plane. I like that the wheel is off the ground

as if it's taken off. There it is. I'd fly Air McDonald's. Have you eaten in a caboose in a Ronald's caboose? I have. Yeah, as a child. On Vancouver Island? On where I live, yeah. I've been to birthday parties in the Ronald's caboose. We've got's i have yeah as a child on vancouver island on where i live yeah there

i've been to birthday parties in the wrong add that to the list when we're crabbing i just i think it's sadly gone they've renovated since then that's why i thought it was like a weird 90s thing because they're no longer there at least where i live and i was like oh that's a shame that they they upgraded their restaurants and they got rid of the trains that's the it's the last known photo gavin of ronald's caboose at the trains. That's the, it's the last known photo. Gavin of Ronald's caboose at the one restaurant is gone. They took it away. It's the saddest thing I've ever seen.

It is. Yeah. What a bleak looking day as well. Oh, that's tragic. Yeah, it was very tragic. So it's a weird,

it's a weird thing where I thought everyone had this experience, and I guess it's very unique to have a Ronald's caboose. Were there special menu items for the caboose? No, it was just like literally a place for birthday parties. There's nothing like fancy about it. It was just you got to hop in the train, and you were separated from the rest of the people in the restaurant. That was part of the experience.

That is amazing. That's blown my mind a little bit. Spaghetti Warehouse has train cars inside the warehouse you can eat in spaghetti where i've never heard of this i've heard of the spaghetti factory i've never heard of a warehouse the spaghetti warehouse spaghetti warehouse yeah they used to be when we were talking about cheesecake factory the spaghetti warehouse maybe yeah probably What was the thing? Cheesecake factory workers don't identify as factory workers. But I feel like this is sort of a great people are always like, ah, Andrew's weird, but I don't think I'm weird.

It's just this is a product of where I grew up. Yeah, that picture of the McDonald's train, that means you're not weird. Yeah, I think it's more of a, people are like, you're in a different dimension. Maybe I am. That's a fancy train car for that spaghetti place.

It's a spaghetti warehouse. It's not just for anybody. It's high class. Also, uh, I gotta be honest with you guys. If anything, it made it worse. Okay.

Oh, no. Oh, no, Jeff. Clearly, uh, clearly we need to, uh, go back to the drawing board. Which is fine. That's what R&D is for. I think that we need to incorporate, if I had to guess, maybe some aloe into the milk substance. Okay, so not just milk.

I don't know. Got it. Yeah, but I'm not giving up on the idea. I think there's still obviously a need. The audience has been... Has this even come out to the audience yet? The one we're recording? No, they haven't seen any of this.

They're not even aware of the product. I'm sure that when the audience discovers the product, I'll feel vindicated. Everybody's going to want a piece of this investment opportunity. Yeah, I think the only people who've seen it are the ones in the slack. But, yeah. Let me just...

I didn't... If anything, it made it cold, made it burn more. So the cooling effect just made it cold, but it still burned? Yeah, it was, it was just like, it just made everything. It's like, it was, it was like enhanced, enhanced the whole thing. And how was the flavor? All you know, I don't like milk. Well, maybe, maybe you're selling the wrong thing jeff maybe this isn't a thing to soothe the pain maybe this is an enhancer product yeah this is an anal

enhancer that you have on your hands and not needs to enhance anything in their anus i i mean would you opt out of enhancing anything if you have the choice to enhance you always say yes there's no negative to enhance talking about if someone's saying you have the choice to enhance, you always say yes. There's no negative to enhancing. What are you talking about? If someone said, do you want me to enhance your headache? I'd say, no thanks. Well, no, it could be a better headache. What do you mean? When you were in Cyberpunk,

you didn't go, oh, no enhancements for me thing. I'll keep my normal anus. Everyone goes with the enhancements. With a sword and double jump. I feel like typically the enhancement is a good thing. But I see what you're saying. An enhancement of a headache would be a bad thing because you're theoretically making it more powerful.

Yeah. Do you want to have an enhancement of losing a roulette? Well, I don't need that. I'm already pretty good at that. That's not needed. I don't think, yeah. I think I'd enhance most things. And listen, I'm not a judgmental person, Gavin.

If somebody wants to enhance their asshole, it's not my business to know why. Just offering a product that will do that. It's true. You gotta cover the market. Just because it's not for you doesn't mean it's not for somebody. Exactly.

There's somebody out there that's been waiting for years if only my asshole could be enhanced they've been saying there's gotta be a better way there has to be and there also has to be a better way than what you designed because i refuse to believe that a skewer with a milk thing on the end of it pro is not safe prototype It wasn't meant to be the final production model. It's you got to start somewhere. So based on this new R&D, is there going to be a Mark II? I don't think so.

I don't know, man. I think I got all the I think we got all the comedy out of that joke. I think we'll just move on to the next product, maybe. I think if I was going to design something to soothe the anus, it wouldn't be something that's long and goes in the anus.

It would be something long that you sit on. Well, maybe. Like a frozen hot dog shape that I just sit on. And it sort of goes across the anus, across the gooch. No. And it's just a soothing seat soothing what if you need internal soothing i'm not a fan of any of this why not i just don't want hands control i don't want to i don't want gravity to be a factor in my my process how's gravity effect what do you mean well well i'm

assuming well if you're making... I guess, okay. In my head, you were like sitting on... Not with it up me. It's not... Okay, that's how I perceive the problem. The hot dog, in Gavin's contraption, I believe the hot dog is horizontal. Yeah.

Oh! He's straddling... Gavin straddles a horizontal hot dog. Got it. Think of it like I'm riding a hot dog like a wizard would ride a broom. I see what you're saying. Yeah, understood. That's better. I still don't like

this product category as a whole. No, it's for a whole. I'm not going to be ordering. Yeah, now it is. I wonder how many we could sell though. Just as a concept. What that even looks like. Yeah, I don't know.

Merch didn't seem too excited about it you actually asked them as well that's not a joke it was in the slack asking about selling popsicles yeah and they said that we don't have like some frozen storage we have cold storage for the popsicles the limitations of this product was us not having cold storage so there are no other issues with why this could be sold as it is well as i said the one inhibitor you can buy you buy pop ice and otter pops unfrozen and then you freeze them yourself at home they make you do the work it's the it's the dairy of it you can't have unfrozen dairy it just doesn't keep that long in a warehouse i assume assume. Pivoting back to the McDonald's train for a moment. It did also, it brought back a memory in my life that I forgot that I had.

And it blew Eric's mind in our conversation about it. There was a Wendy's downtown. Still there. When I was a kid, I was like, I don't know, maybe four or five. I'd go there quite a bit. And there was a woman and i was like i don't know maybe four or five i'd go there quite a bit and there was a woman there's an older woman i'd say probably late 60s early 70s she had red hair and her name was wendy and because of this i thought that she was the wendy of wendy's and i spent a large portion probably wasn't until i was a teenager that i realized that i didn't know

wendy from wendy's i thought i knew wendy from wendy's for a stretch of my life and you just I spent a large portion. Probably wasn't until I was a teenager that I realized that I didn't know Wendy from Wendy's. I thought I knew Wendy from Wendy's for a stretch of my life. And you just thought that Wendy of Wendy's worked in a Wendy's in Canada? Yeah. Yeah. Well, I didn't like I was like, you know what? She looks a lot younger outside the restaurant. I'm sure this business has existed for a long time.

She's just been a career employee. It's a family locally run thing. Wendy from Wendy's. I thought I knew Wendy from Wendy's. And a career employee. It's a family locally run thing. Wendy from Wendy's. I thought I knew Wendy from Wendy's. And we're close. Whenever I'd come in the restaurant, she'd say hi. We'd talk. She'd sometimes sit at her table and just talk with us while we ate.

I had a friendship with Wendy. In your defense, I mean, Dave Thomas named Wendy's after his daughter, right? Wendy, who is a real person and what year was that? Who exists in the world. And I'm sure this lady who worked at who was in her 60s and working at Wendy's and her name was Wendy, if it was even her real name, was probably delighted to let that little kids thought she was the Wendy. She probably encouraged that.

And that's probably why you thought it was the case. I feel like I probably asked somebody and they're like, yeah. And just like the magic of it. Let the kid think that he knows Wendy from Wendy's. But I never really questioned it. So is this something you bragged about at school? I never bragged about it, but it was just the fact that I was friends with Wendy from Wendy's. You don't strike me as someone who brags.

Yeah, I don't know. I'm trying to think like, What have I ever bragged about? I'm not a big bragger type person. I have confidence. I have the burger confidence established. I very rarely will brag about something. That's Wendy. Did the lady look like that?

That is Wendy. And she does work at Wendy's. So technically, it's not the most ridiculous thing. I don't think she works in a Wendy's, though. Well, she works for Wendy's Corporate. Wait, is Wendy... Wait, the Dave Thomas was the Wendy's guy, right? Yeah, and his daughter's name is Wendy Thomas.

Eric is saying that it's not. I thought it was... I agree with you. I thought that's what the story was, Jeff, that he named it after his daughter and his daughter who has... Eric, what's going on? Red hair in this photo that Jeff just posted.

She's the fourth child of American businessman Dave Thomas, founder of the Fast Food Company. And what's her name? Melinda Lou Wendy Thomas. So one of the younger kids couldn't pronounce Melinda and called her Wendy, and Dave Thomas went, the name of the restaurant's Wendy's. So he named it after- He didn't name it after any of his kids. Yeah, he named it after what his kid, one kid called another kid, a nickname.

If one kid calls another kid that name, but nobody else does, that's the nickname? Do you think that nobody else in the family called that kid Wendy after that? I think they did after Dave Thomas named a restaurant after her. After her. I think they all went,

we better buy into this lie. After her? We better buy into this lie. He did. He named a restaurant after her. That's a good point. You said it. You made the point.

Thank you. Yeah, Dave Thomas went, yeah, we a good point. You said it. You made the point. Thank you. Yeah, Dave Thomas went, yeah, we're going to call it Wendy's. And everyone went, well, I guess we better buy into this lie. I don't understand. She has Wendy in her name. It may not be her first name,

but she has a Wendy in her name. Did she have any siblings? I think four. I think Jeff just said four. Oh. Yeah. They must be pissed. She's the fourth child.

Oh, okay. Oh, that is a rough one. Yeah. If she's pissed. She's the fourth child. Oh, okay. Oh, that is a rough one. Yeah. If she's the youngest of the kids waiting, that's some bullshit. If I was the oldest, I'd want naming rights. What were the other kids' names? Do you know, Jeff? Here, I'll just read what it says on.

As a child, Melinda was unable to pronounce her L's and her R's, struggling with her own name, Melinda, and so became known by her nickname, Wendy. See, and then the rest of the family bought into it to feed this lie of Wendy's the restaurant. Then eight-year-old Melinda would eventually become the namesake of her father's restaurant, Wendy's Old Fashioned Hamburgers, or just Wendy's for short.

In addition to being a namesake, her likeness was used as the Wendy's logo. Now I'm an only child, but I feel like I hear about the conversations of like, who's the favorite kid? You cannot make that argument in that family. When one of the four has a restaurant chain named after them,

it's without a, Wendy's number one. I'd like to know the other names though, because it's like, was there a scenario in which maybe we had Steve's? Let's see if it lists uh family personal they don't cut corners at steve's square burgers his wife was lorraine uh they had three more daughters pam lorraine's pam lori molly and son kenny kenny died in 2013 kenny's

i would like kenny's lori's molly's i go would like Kenny's. If Kenny's is a chain, I'd go to Kenny's. Ah, my butt. Kenny's would be good. I'm a fan of Kenny's. I like Kenny's. Have you... Am I the only one? Have you guys ever thought you met a celebrity and then realized it wasn't that celebrity?

Uh... Ooh. That's a great question. I have another one if you guys need time to think about it. I have a second. I don't think I have one. Guy that we used to work with at the day job, Bernie, he had a great story about how he called Nicolas Cage Nick Nolte

in an elevator once and just like crushed Nicolas Cage. But I don't think I have. Oh, man, I hope this is a fart. I'm not going to do it what's your other one Andrew? I thought I sat behind Ridley Scott at a hockey game once and it wasn't Ridley Scott but I was like behind him and to the left of him so I could only see the side

profile of his face how many people know what Ridley Scott looks like anyway? I don't know but I was convinced it was Ridley Scott. I was very excited about it, and it was at the time where it had just been announced that he was going to make a Monopoly movie, and I didn't want to just say, hey, are you Ridley Scott, or get any attention by him at all.

So I just spent the majority of the game just making random Ridley Scott. You hear about this Monopoly movie that Ridley Scott's going to make? I think that could be real interesting. Just random quips about Ridley Scott and the films he's worked on. You know, that Alien is sure good. I'm really hoping that,

I don't know, they maybe make another. I was wrong about that. I shouldn't have wanted that, but at that time. More Alien? Another Alien would be good. Yeah, we really didn't need more Alien. Really?

By him, at least. Yeah, I don't think any of the. Really? By him at least. Yeah. I don't think any of any of the alien movies he made post. I listened to the audio commentary that he did for alien and, uh, he was describing like the space jockey and what he thought this was before Prometheus and what he like thought that was. And he was like going through what he thought that story would be.

Sounded way cooler than the movie that he actually made. Do you remember what it was oh it was like what was no it was there was that was a hell of a commentary it was all like cut up i think we talked about it there was bits where like like he was he was doing the commentary and it was it's like edited between him and other cast members and he's talking to sigourney weaver in some parts but then another part he's like he's kind of like joke complaining about the actors and sigourney weaver doesn't say anything and i realized that they're from like two different

commentaries filmed or like recorded years apart it's so confusing it's it's it's a it's a real good one is that one of your go-to did you listen to a lot of commentary tracks i mean that's what do you mean was that just a thing you listen to it's commentary tracks uh yeah i listen to them sometimes yeah there was like podcasts for me growing up. I loved listening to them. I was very confused. I didn't understand the sarcasm of Will Ferrell or just like I didn't really have a concept

of who he was as a personality. I listened to the Tallaght and Knights commentary track as a kid and it's just constantly, it's not like any actual commentary. It's just jokes from my memory and one of the things in it is like yeah my house is shaped like a nascar i'm that much of a nascar so i thought that will ferrell's house was a nascar i thought it was shaped that way i had no idea i used to love commentary it's one of the like worst parts of streaming for me i wish

that netflix or whatever still did commentary tracks as an alternate option. I've worked once with Jake Scott, which is his son. It's as close as I've been to Ridley Scott. Yeah? Yep.

You asking about Prometheus? Nope. I don't think it'd been made yet. I didn't see that movie. Not good? It's not worth it, no. I don't think you get anything from it.

It's not canonical to Alien, though, is it? Yes. I thought it wasn't. I thought it was inspired by the... No, it's all like... It's supposed to fit in the universe. I think they're all the same universe, yeah.

Is it? Yeah, it's leading into... I think the idea of Prometheus was it would end with the beginning of Alien. It would tell that story and then go forward from the Alien universe. But it's the first of a trilogy, right? Originally, yeah, but i feel like the second alien covenant or whatever doesn't really have anything to do with prometheus i mean ridley scott i just does it's like a direct sequel it says so ridley scott has told bbc radio 5 that his new

film prometheus is not a prequel to hit 1979 hit alien i mean it's set before alien in the same universe though and it has a lot of the same imagery. I don't feel like Alien Covenant... So to me, I feel like it was a correction. Like, I understand what you're saying. There are characters that continue, and it is a continuous plot, but I don't feel like that was the story he originally planned on telling with that trilogy,

if that makes any sense. Yeah, I mean, if it was, I don't know why you would want to tell that story. Yeah, it's... I've been watching the halloween movies yeah they're great yeah they're like really bad and then they get so at the first one great two through six terrible i'm now in the 90s ones fantastic l cool j he's great great cast like surprisingly good michelle williams is in it josh hartnett's first movie joseph gordon levitt those are fun if you're looking for a random dumb thing to watch halloween yeah they're uh how have you watched them all uh no i'm uh what's the one i just i

watched halloween h2o last night so i'm gonna get the next the buster rhymes one h2o is good and you're uh you're watching them in order i I am. What did you think of Halloween 3? It's a really cool movie. I wish that they would have stuck with that instead of, so originally Michael Myers wasn't going to be an ongoing character. Like Halloween was going to be a different story each time. It was just going to be based on it happening on Halloween. And then they didn't do that because people were pissed that Michael Myers was in it.

People were angry. I wish they would have stuck with that. Instead of seven Michael Myers movies. Paul Rudd also in it. I wish they would have stuck with that. Instead of seven Michael Myers movies. Paul Rudd also in it. It's weird. It has a surprisingly good cast for what those movies are. All of those horror movies from that era do. Kevin Bacon is in Friday the 13th.

Johnny Depp is in Nightmare on Elm Street. Corey Feldman is in Friday the 13th. There's a lot of... Corey Feldman is a step back. Corey Feldman was phenomenal as a kid actor. He was great in that movie. That's fair. It's a lot of like, what people that turn, Corey Feldman is a step back. Corey Feldman was phenomenal as a kid actor. He was great in that movie.

That's fair. It's one of the best horror movies. It's, I think it's Friday the 13th, four or five he's in. Really good. I'm disappointed that you guys have never thought

you met a celebrity and went through that pain. I tend to try to avoid celebrities if I see them. That's fair. I mean, in the scenarios I'm talking about, I wasn't actively pursuing them. I just thought I knew Wendy.

And then I thought I met Ridley Scott. It definitely was Ridley Scott. That guy must have been like, why was he, why did he spend an hour, or I guess two and a half hours for a hockey game talking about Manali? What a weird thing. Do you think that guy even knows who Ridley Scott is? Almost certainly not.

I agree with Gavin. I feel like, well, maybe by name, I guess, like a vague awareness. I could definitely pull Ridley Scott out of a lineup because, you know, just of the industry I'm in. But I feel like most people know the name, not the face. I couldn't pull him out of a lineup. You don't think so? I can't picture Ridley Scott in my head right now, no. He looks kind of like Jake Scott.

That's fair. I think we should probably go because we lost our support staff. They all took off and I got to go figure out what to do about my butthole. But before we go, I would like to point out that somebody on one of the comment levers pointed out to me that Mac Jones, who was

Gavin's choice to win Rookie of the Year that we picked for you. I didn't realize and I watched him the entire time he quarterbacked for Alabama. I didn't realize, and I watched him the entire time he worked, he quarterbacked for Alabama. I didn't realize his name is Michael Jones, which is kind of funny. And then the Mac comes from his middle name, McCorkle. Your pick for rookie of the year's name is Michael McCorkle Jones.

That's a great name. Hey, Kevin, do you want to trade? Rookie of the Year? Do not do it. Do not do it. Do you want to trade? I've locked in with McCorkle. You got McCorkle. I feel like Macaulay Culkin should call his kid that. McCorkle Culkin.

Can we name this episode McCorkle Culkin can we name this episode McCorkle Culkin I have no idea if this was a good episode or not but if you made it around to the end I appreciate it thank you for listening to episode 72 of F*** Face we will see you next week

I don't give a shit if you rate or review or not you do you bye? We never even got to the thing about the feet. I forgot to mention that I was right about that, too I Guess I will give me a half point on the taste buds and the ass thing if you put your feet on garlic you taste That it goes are you caught? For this episode you go no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no this episode you guys no no no no no no hey craig is still in here craig is still in here technically live we can't keep talking about calling feet after every record no no this is we're done we're done with this one it just needs to be on the record that if you put your feet in garlic you're gonna taste that garlic is that true i don't know if

it's garlic specific i don't know if you can put like a ham sandwich down there and you taste that But it's definitely a thing with garlic and has something to do. How do you know? Because it's just a fact Jeff. How do you know anything? Where did you write in the fat? Okay? Where'd you read it? I don't know where I read it Why is he yelling? I don't know. I haven't just the first time hearing this year. I wasn't know where I read it, but I know I have. Why is he yelling? I don't know. I haven't, this is the first time hearing this. I wasn't in your fight last time. You're trying to cancel. Jeff, you weren't here for this.

This is the second week in a row. Gavin's tried to block the truth about garlic feet. Why do you never bring it up in the podcast? Because I forgot. I forgot because we changed subjects. We're talking about throwing baseballs. Can Craig cut this out? Can we cut this out anyway? Will Craig record? Oh, yeah

I'm still recording still. I'm not recording. I'm not recording. I will come I will go back to recording I'm recording again. Hold on. Let me get a new I'm back to recording So now do I need to do this again? Do I need to tell the world about how right I am about garlic? I just dropped the bottle How do you have you tried it? No, I haven't garlic feet? I just dropped the bottle. Have you tried it? No, I haven't tried it. I'll gladly try it. What do you mean? Just because I haven't tried something doesn't mean you don't know it.

What are you saying? I meant so. Did you taste the sushi when you were slipping across your floor in the container? There was no sushi in the container! It was a plastic lid! It was a plastic lid! I'm gonna Google Do feet taste garlic. Bing it.

Yahoo search it. I don't care. You're going to find the same result. It's a thing. Okay. All right. Read it. Read it.

Read it to the people. I'll read it right now. It's not because you have secret garlic taste buds on your feet. It's because the molecules responsible for garlic smell, which is called allicin, A-L-L-I-C-I-N, can penetrate your skin, get into your blood, and travel to your mouth and nose, where you suddenly start to sense the taste of garlic. It goes in your blood to your nose and mouth?

That quickly, too, apparently. That is... I want to do a blind stomp test and see if Andrew can taste the garlic and we'll get him to stand on three things. People put garlic on their feet to treat athletes' foot and to fight fungus, and I think that is the best idea you've ever had, Gavin.

We need a foot taste test. I like the idea that if I drop the garlic at a restaurant and my steak's a bit plain i could just take my socks off and stomp on it i wonder oh my god could you eat a plate a plain steak while your foot is in garlic and taste a garlic steak i need to are do they make garlic like apples? Are there different variations of garlic? Are you asking if you can scrump garlic?

No, no, no, no. I mean, I've never publicly discussed scrumping of any kind, but I meant in the sense of there's a Granny Smith, there's a Fuji, there's a Mac, there are different variants of garlic in the same way that there are apples. There's like elephant garlic, right? I need to get more familiar with garlic, and we could do like a whole foot garlic test.

I think I could get good at that, like a blindfold. Could we do maybe like a what taste test, like a blind taste test of what your garlic preference is based off of your foot taste? You're going to have to like step on ginger in between to clear your palate. That's true. You're gonna have to like step on ginger in between to clear your palate That reminds me of another thing I have an issue with I have never gone into a grocery store And seen a sign that says these apples are new

But they're inventing apples all the time What do you mean? I don't know Well like the apples, apples are constantly being invented. They're constantly making new apples,

but I've never gone into a grocery store and been like, this apple just released. It just came out. You got to try this apple. Like someone's bred a new apple.

Like they don't, they don't release, like new apples don't drop like albums. Exactly. That's what I'm saying. And they should. should they should i feel like people are just like apples people don't realize how recent apples are oh man i feel like what's the newest lady let me is that the newest mainstream apple all right hold on google this what's the newest apple why do i feel like this apple i don't know i don't even

know where this is is this uh but this we're we're making shit like this has? I don't know. I don't even know where this is. Is this a... But this... We're making shit. Like, this has got to... Why don't we cut all this shit about... Oh, it just gives me new iPhones. Come on, man. I want an Apple. What is... What is the newest Apple?

What is the... We could cut all this shit about Alien and Prometheus and put this in. This is better. It's got... Oh, Cosmic Crisp. Look at that. Cosmic Crisp. That sounds good.

That sounds delicious. That sounds delicious. We could call the episode cosmic crisp when did it come out when did the cosmic crisp release uh yeah i can tell you uh cosmic crisp is an american apple fuck yeah best country in the world with the variety designation wa38 breeding began in 1997 at the Washington State University Tree Fruit Research and Extension Center in Wenatchee, Washington. Initially oversea—who cares? So, 97.

They started breeding in 97. No, no, no. There's more recent apples than that. That's incorrect. That's when they began. That's when breeding began. That doesn't necessarily mean that's when they finished it. It was first planted for commercial use in the spring of 2017.

See, 2017. We got a new apple within the last five years. Yeah, yeah. I've never gone to a grocery store and seen a sign being like, this apple just dropped. Like, come try this apple. I'd be way more excited about it. This apple just dropped is great.

It's amazing. It's amazing that we haven't heard more about Cosmic Crisp, which sounds like a weed flavor, by the way. Listen to this. Promotion and marketing. A $10 million consumer launch of the product was funded by Washington State Agricultural Promotion Funds through the Washington Apple Commission.

There is something called the Washington Apple Commission. There is something called the Washington Apple Commission, and they did a $10 million promotional and marketing campaign for the Cosmic Crisp. I never fucking heard of it. That's crazy, because that's a crowded market, the Apple game. Yeah, Apple games, fucking, it is. It's hard to get in amongst the big dogs. Yeah.

I wonder, like, how does that work? Can I go to a grocery store and find a what was it? Cosmic Crisp new apple launch that lasts for a year that's part of it's strength is that it sits on shelves for a long time ok so it doesn't, it sounds like a great apple, I think we need to try

to find a Cosmic Crisp it is a cross breed of the Honey Crisp and the Enterprise, oh my god we have gotten really scrump heavy without even trying. Like a weekly Apple News segment. We've become like an Apple podcast. This is interesting. It's just something I don't understand.

I feel like there'd be a lot of enthusiasm for a new fruit type. That's crazy, though. There's a newer Apple than the company. That's a newer Apple than the... Yeah. Oh, there's so many. I feel like Red Delicious came out in like 2002, and people loved that Apple.

I wonder if anybody who's a comment leaver or anybody who just listens to this podcast who wouldn't mind leaving a comment, if any of you work or know somebody who works with the Washington Apple Commission, I would love to know what your job is like. Apparently, Cosmic Crisps are shipping nationwide November 8th. Is it a seasonal

Apple? Is it like this year? This upcoming November 8th? Will this be the first run of Cosmic Crisps? Or did they get invented in... We have got... This is November following the new ship date of November 8th. You have got to... Oh, this year! November 8th, 2021! The apples are about to drop!

We have a month till Apple won. Holy shit. November is usually like, there's a Halo game coming out. Nope, we call it New Apple. I'm going to go to my grocery store and see if I can pre-order a Cosmic Crisp. If your favorite store doesn't carry Cosmic Crisp,

talk to the produce department manager and ask for it by name. Can you imagine doing that? Until you just shove it up your ass. Oh, no, I'm gonna do guys We've got a Christmas. We've got to get cosmic crisps on launch day and film a special video of us eating This a big damn deal That's a gorgeous logo we can buy them online Throw it further than your baseball That's a gorgeous logo. We can buy them online! Where's the buying apples? See if you can throw it further than your baseball.

Oh, I meant to. That's another thing I forgot. I'm forgetting all the things I've written down. No, just one second. Let me just ask this. So, Jeff, you think you could throw a baseball 80? With some training. Yeah, with some training.

Eventually, yeah, with some training. I understand. Not just like you're going to do it. How far do you think you can throw a football? Oh, I have no idea. Okay, so you don't, there's no 80 doesn't equal a certain yardage for you?

No, I'm going for speed, not distance. I couldn't tell you. Okay, fair enough. I just want to ask. Maybe very far, but I don't even know how far is far on a football.

Find apples at your local, this is great. All right, we got to stop recording. Okay. And I don't know, do we replace the Prometheus? We can replace the butt stuff. I don't know what we want to replace.

Or we could just put this in at the end. I just feel like most of the meat of the episode happened after it ended because we're going to have a garlic taste test with Andrew. And the world is going to shut the fuck down on November 8th when we celebrate Cosmic Crisp drop date. They got juice. They got Cosmic Crisp juice. It's 100% pure pressed apple juice.

That's going to be tasty. Is that available now? Can I get a little sneak preview of what the apple will taste like? Can I just buy that apple juice now? Apple in liquid form. Oh, man. This is exciting. Oh, shit, dude.

They have lots of products. They have Cosmic Crisp Cider. They have an apple spiralizer that's Cosmic Crisp branded. That's a little silly. Nobody's allowed to get the dried apple slices. That's a spoiler. That's a future spoiler. I think you have to stay to juice liquid versions of it that is true we

have to stay to juice as we can only we can only we can only want a little little taste you could go with the yeah maybe that's like a live stream launch event that we could host well you can buy 120 that would be great that would be great attention washington apple commission we want Attention Washington Apple Commission. We want to host your live stream. We're interested in doing business with you. Oh, Gavin, we're fucked. There is nothing in our zip code. Ah, shit. We might have to travel.

Yeah, I'll travel. Oh, absolutely. Maybe Andrew will. You want to attempt to end this thing for the second time? Oh, yeah, let's do it. All right, well, the podcast already ended, so the second we stop talking we're done. You don't think

the outro should be at the end as well? Well, we already did an outro. Can't they just cut it and move it to the... Alright. Can I... Can I contribute? Oh, please do. Can I say something? Can I just say something really quickly? We asked people to rate and subscribe

and all that stuff, you know, at the end, because Eric recommends doing that. Well, this week I said do it or don't. We don't care. Yeah, you did say that. I just wanted to say I want to thank the people that have. Oh. We appreciate it. It's very kind of them to either when they leave a review, drop the five stars.

It's very considerate. You know what? I'd like to add that. I'd like to add on to that, actually. It's very considerate. You know what? I'd like to add on to that, actually. To all the people out there who have shared this podcast with a friend or loved one, I really appreciate that, too. I was thinking about it the other day in a moment of seriousness.

This all came out of the company Rooster Teeth that we started almost 19 years ago. And the entire success of our company has been because of word of mouth. And I really appreciate people who like our productions enough to share them. And just know that I'll be eternally grateful if you have done that or you would consider doing it in the future someday. Really appreciate it.

And some just amazingly sweet people. Yeah. I haven't talked about on the show. I've been taking calls from people. Oh, yeah. Just having conversations. Amazingly kind comment leaders. Gavin, do you have anything nice and humane to say?

I'm in total agreement. I think it's a special thing to be something that people share with other people. Yeah. What a rare, beautiful, honest moment from you. I appreciate that. Doesn't happen often. All right.

And now I got to go find something better to stick up my ass. I appreciate that. Doesn't happen often. Alright, and now I gotta go find something better to stick up my ass and go. I'll see you guys later. Alright, bye.