Regulation Podcast - Geoff's Pastrami Lust // AlphaBet Rules & Pick [123]

Episode Date: October 5, 2022

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about attempting pastrami again, being weird together, Gavin's PS5 is Geoff's PS5, AlphaBet rules, getting our letters for the AlphaBet, Geoff got Ucked, a Goldeneye Bet? Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to [e-mail]  Sponsored by ExpressVPN at http://expressvpn.com/face , HelloFresh http://hellofresh.com/face65 + code face65, and Dad Grass http://dadgrass.com/face  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a Rooster Teeth production. Hello and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast. My name is Jeff Ramsey. With me, as always, Andrew Pant and Gavin Free. Episode 123. 1, 2, 3. One, two, three. One, two, three. There you go. Year something, whatever.

Okay. If you're bringing back the year, you can't half-ass it. That's true. I still know what it is. It's like year whatever, volume whatever. I'm just happy he's back to this place, Gavin. It feels comfortable doing this again. I'm working my way back into it after the slanderous

day I had where you guys yelled at me about it fat play man I'm struggling to figure out how to start this after the conversation we just had between episodes we determined well we'll start with

pastrami I'm gonna upload a photo you guys have already seen it, but just for posterity. Yeah. Just so we know what we're looking at. I have so many questions. The other day, this story actually starts before the pastrami. Priestrami? It's priestrami, yeah.

It starts with about three weeks ago, I went out to breakfast with Emily. weeks ago i went uh out to breakfast with emily and on the menu was migas which i love uh get migas all the time uh and they had like for a the daily special was corned beef migas and i thought that sounds gross but i bet it's not and i did. Corned beef is how I got to pastrami. I discovered I liked corned beef. And then I thought... And I'd read online that pastrami was better than corned beef, and it was prepared better. And I think corned beef is boiled, whereas pastrami is smoked. And so I thought, well, corned beef was my on-ramp to pastrami. know corn beef was my i guess my on-ramp to pastrami maybe it'll be how i return to pastrami right and so i ordered the corn beef migas and uh you know migas is good corn beef is good together it was a little weird but it wasn't gross i'm like i wouldn't necessarily eat it again uh i

appreciate the creativity of that chef. But the big takeaway was corned beef migas not great. Corned beef was okay. I was like, oh, this isn't bad. You know? And so just last week, I was riding around running errands, and I was super fucking hungry. And I thought, you know what? I had the corned beef and it was okay. What if I just rip off the Band-Aid? I happen to be in the part of town where my favorite deli my favorite pastrami sandwich in austin is this place called biederman's over on far west and i thought uh what if i just dip in i got some time to kill and i'll just order my pastrami sandwich and we'll just fucking see what happens like corned beef didn't gross me out i can say the word pastrami again without getting nauseous. Um, you know, I've clearly, I've clearly made progress. Let's, uh, let's see where we, let's see where we are.

And so I, I went in and I ordered my favorite pastrami sandwich in town, the best pastrami I've ever had in my life. And I sat down and I started to eat it. And the, I immediately was hit with a little wave of nausea from the smell, from the smell. But I got past it. I got past it. And I just ate. I just ate pastrami. And the love affair is over.

It wasn't good. It was just, it was. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. You can't go home again. I was telling Emily and she's,

she described that as you were never in love with pastrami. It was only ever lust. And I think that that's, and it burned you. Yeah. And I think I was burned by lust and I think that, yeah, I, uh, I don't know what else to say. I didn't even finish the sandwich. It didn't make me want to throw up. It didn't gross me out. It didn't make me gag. It just wasn't. You don't think this was just a bad pastrami sandwich? I don't think so. I think it was, I mean, look at it. It looks gag. It just wasn't. And you don't think this was just a bad pastrami sandwich? I don't think so. I think it was. I mean, look at it.

It looks gorgeous. It was just. And it's identical to any pastrami. The pickle was phenomenal. What's the schmear on it? It's just mustard. Okay. That sandwich is just bread, like rye bread or whatever bread that is. Not rye bread, but whatever bread that is.

And then hot pastrami and hot mustard. That's all that sandwich is. Looking at that picture, it looks pretty good, but I know I would be done with it after one half. Yeah. It seems like a lot. I normally,

previously had been able to destroy that sandwich and not leave one crumb on the table. I didn't make it through half. I probably made 33% of the way through the sandwich and then I just threw it away. I'm a little bummed. Yeah. Yeah, I'm a little bummed.

Because at least before you didn't know. Yeah, before I didn't know and I just kind of had a memory of loving it and now that memory is a bit obscured by the reality that i no longer connect with pastrami on any sort of uh i don't know guttural flavor-based level it's kind of like going home and visiting your hometown after going to college i assume and seeing it for what it is you know after time has passed and you're like oh this is it's a lot smaller than i remember it It's not quite as, it doesn't, the buildings don't shine quite as bright, you know?

And that was definitely the case for pastrami. It doesn't, it doesn't make me sick. It doesn't gross me out, but I don't think I like it. I, this is a perfect bookend, I feel, to your pastrami arc on this show. I like that we have fully captured you falling in lust, I guess, with the pastrami arc on this show i i like that we have fully captured you falling in lust i guess with the pastrami sandwich your your breakup with it your devastating end and then your ability to return and realize that you are not the same person that you previously were i mean clearly clearly pastrami hasn't changed i have right i can't blame Pastrami. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. But I can't lie to

myself. I have to acknowledge that I'm different. I'm not the person I was, for better or worse. I guess that probably remains to be seen. But yeah, I think Pastrami days are in the rearview mirror. Do you think you'll try and replace it?

I mean, I wasn't trying to find it in the first place. It just fell into my lap, you know? Have you ever had this happen with another food? No, yeah. Well, I mean, I went through a natural life cycle with corn dogs, right? Where like I loved them for most of my life

and then I realized that I, I think I just was done with them. But I kind of felt that happening gradually over time like I enjoyed each corndog a little bit less than the previous one where it's like kind of like San Francisco the first time I ever went to San Francisco when I was like 19 or 20 I was on tour with that with the band I used to tour with and I had the best night of my life and I thought someday I will move to San Francisco I will live in this city this is the greatest place on earth and the next time I went to San Francisco,

I was like, that's like 80% as good as I remember that night. And then it just got like 5% shittier each time. Now that I'm like, I don't ever need to go to San Francisco again as long as I live. Thank God I never made the mistake to move there. So your life is just a series of diminishing returns? Yeah, I guess so.

You know, like the... I felt like the corndog thing happened naturally and gradually, whereas this was a shock to my system. And I, I really, I really thought that if I could get over the physical, uh, like revulsion from the memory of the intense vomiting, uh, that day that I, I could get back to, to, you know, like sunny day, sunny pastrami days again. And it was it was a pretty God, it was it was pretty depressing, if I'm being honest

with you. It was it was a sad car ride home that day. Well, it's a different experience. You know, unlike the San Francisco thing, you could probably say the city changed as well as you. This is a situation in which you have changed the same which is the same it's just it's not it's not for you anymore andrew do you worry about that happening with us what like what like you've you've come here before you've met us before

do you do you worry that if when you come again is that why you're putting it off because when you come here again it won't be as good no it's no it's no different i don't understand the question i've never what if you've changed or we've changed we've talked every week and throughout the week for the past like two and a half years three years however long we've done this i don't it's too constant there's been no break period well it's been a break of interacting in real life yeah but mean, that's not all that socially different. It's the same. We're the same people. I don't think

it would change anything. I will say, I will say you stopped talking to me for like two years for no reason. That was prior. And we were able to

pick right back up. So, yeah. Although I wonder if maybe, Gavin, are you worried that that'll happen on your end with Andrew?

Like you'll see him, like in November we'll go to Canada or he come here, and you'll go like, oh. Oh, no. I remembered liking him more. No, I'm not worried about that. I'm not worried about that either. I'm worried about it being weird. What do you mean?

I'm not worried about that. I'm worried about it being weird when we try and make one of these in person. Oh, in person? Oh. Well, I don't know that we should ever make a face in person i think we should make ancillary content shoulder content but maybe not the main we should never make our podcast in person no i don't know that we should i like the idea of if we do it in person we need to like create cardboard walls between us like it still needs to even though

we're physically in the same space. There needs to be a removal. Set a table facing away from each other in a triangle. Has anybody ever done a reverse triangle podcast where the hosts all look out away from each other? Why don't we do one facing each other and one facing away and see which one's better? That's a great idea. Now that I would do. I think it'll be fine though

because humans are more complex than pastrami. So I think that they'll, I'm not afraid of things being weird between us ever. I don't, well, no, I guess it's not. I'm trying to think if I've ever had a moment with food where it's been a

true, it's not you, it's me. Cause I think you still think the pastrami sandwich in the realm of sandwiches is good. It's just not for you. Is that fair? It's still beautiful. I still think it's, yeah, it's just, It's just not for you. Is that fair? It's still beautiful.

I still think it's, yeah, it's just, it's just not for, you're right. I've changed. It's not you, Pastrami. It's me. Which would be the, that's the new name of my, that would be the name of my second autobiography. It's not you, Pastrami.

It's me. So should we get into this alphabet thing? Because we've teased it. We've gone on for multiple weeks with it. And it sounds, based on what you've said, that there might be some debates and arguments relating to how this is going to proceed. So Emily and I went to dinner with Eric

and his small wife, Barbara, recently. And we actually went to our double date spot, Gavin. Our shabu-shabu place. By the way, Eric, did you guys like that? Did you guys enjoy? Oh, that was awesome. I'm going to go back. Do you think I would have liked it if it was me there instead of you?

Well, I mean, I guess that would be, here's the thing. That would mean you would have to show up for the double date. And I don't know. I haven't seen a lot of evidence of that. I've just seen evidence of you not showing up honestly so but you know what I'll say yeah I think you would have liked it was lovely that reminds me of a side thing not to completely detract from this I thought this was interesting I was talking to Gavin after we recorded the episode in which you got your guilt basket Jeff yeah I was asking him his opinions on PS5 games.

Gavin doesn't own a PS5. He doesn't have one. Well, I did. He did have one. I was shocked by this, and I've been going back and forth on trying to decide if that made the gesture better or worse. He didn't buy that for you. That was his PS5

that he just had for a while and then he thought it would be, it would fit this. Oh yeah. So he applied it to this. I had it, well it arrived and I thought I'm excited. I've been trying for about two years to get one of these and I finally got the opportunity to get one. But then it was just a much

better f*** face to myself to immediately give it away as a super inappropriate sorry gift. It's just way more funny to me. That's true. And for the record, I assumed here's what I assumed. I assumed because Gavin and Meg are in

the industry as it were and both very successful. I assumed that they were probably like a garage with like eight PlayStation games. They just keep getting free placed PS5s from PlayStation. Like back in the day, back in the earlier days of Achievement Hunter, Microsoft would

give us fucking Xboxes like candy. Like there would be, there was a time when I had like 13 Xboxes, right? And I just assumed it was like just on the pile of PS5s at his house. And I didn't think it diminished the gesture in any way whatsoever. Okay. Well, that's what I was just shocked. I was

stunned to hear that he doesn't have one has never played a PS5 game completely caught me off guard. They're a lot easier to get now. So I think I can get another one. I'll let you borrow mine. Jeff, you can drive in Gavin's car, pick up Gavin and then drive back in his car to play your PS5. That was funny. Jeff, you can drive in Gavin's car, pick up Gavin, and then drive back in his car

to play your PS5. That's absolutely true. That's what we can do. Andrew was blown away, though. I was stunned. I couldn't process it, because like you said, I assumed that they had a room

filled with PS5s, that there was maybe even a consideration to fix the hole in his wall with his PS5, because he has so many of them. That there was maybe even a consideration to fix the hole in his wall with his PS5 because he has so many of them. That is sort of what I am at. A house filled with PS5s. I'm shocked. Zero. Do you have a

PS5, Andrew? I don't. Well, I know how you can get one. Well, I'm never going to be late again so it's not going to work. We're not late. I'm never going to no-show again. Yeah. So we go to dinner and it's a lovely little dinner at our favorite place i did it was fucking awesome it'd been a minute since we've been there so i was thoroughly enjoying it uh and then quite naturally throughout the course of the dinner the alphabet uh alpha I just... This came to me.

The alphabet just came up. It came up naturally, and we got to talking about it, and I realized that we're going to wade into some contentious territory, I think, when we start naming what foods we can eat. Alphabet is such a good name. Isn't that a great name? That's a great name.

Yeah. Eric and I, I realized we're not of the same mind on what stuff is. Like, for instance, if you draw, if you pull an O, you pull an O, right?

And you have to eat only things that start with the letter O for the next however many days. Can you eat an Oreo? Yeah. Yeah. Eric says no. Oh, you like can't do brand names? Well, see, here's the thing. This is between the three of you. I, when presented with this information, Oreo is a cookie. You have to, yes. So Nick is right. Is he thinking cookie? Yeah. I'm thinking of what the thing is because I think that everyone's going to go into like, well, I got tea.

Okay, well, I'm going to eat Tyson chicken. Like I think it gets too granular when you go to that because then you can kind of make everything into everything. But again, this is between the three of you and I want to know where you stand because here's the thing,, this is between the three of you, and I want to know where you stand, because here's the thing, when it's just the three of you, there's a tiebreaker. There has to be a

natural tiebreaker between three. That's where I want to know where that stands. Well, I guess for me it would be a biscuit. It would be B. I think if you held up it's even more complicated, because you call shit different. Am I allowed to use my own culture's words? I think if you held up even more complicated because, yeah, that's it. Am I allowed to use my own culture's words?

That's a very funny you say that because I was explaining this idea to my mom yesterday of this. This is a bet we're going to do. And she immediately started feeding me food items in different languages, being like a chocolate, chocolate in this language starts with an X. You got X covered. We're talking about some of the harder letters. So you're telling me that salad creaming is like in your blood. Like it's been passed down to you from your mother? Like that's incredible. Would salad cream be S

or C for cream? It depends on what language you're using. Or D for dressing, dressing right like it gets or even like no let's stick it with oreos like if you get c for cookie right can you eat an oreo off with c can i eat a teyota so this is i think a great sort of rule for this you're the worst you're a menace yeah i heard somebody comment saying like a good qualifier could be what it would be listed in a grocery store like for the display sign for what you know okay that is what i said i said to me it's based on the aisle because jeff was like

well what about like a kit kat i'm like that's candy do you get it from the kit kat aisle no you get it from the candy like to me that's You get it from the candy. Like, to me, that's where it lands. But again, this is between the three of you. I can just, I can only offer input like that. I think, and I know this is wild for me to be the one saying this, just we just kind of, I think, know what

is and isn't bullshit. I disagree. And anything, and anything that is no, because like, if you, there'd be nothing lamer than if you get m and then you just eat every meat available that sucks and i don't think you could do that i i think you're the last person that should be giving this speech no i agree that's why i opened it with this i agree completely you're totally right that's a good point like m can i eat m&ms or does that fall under c for candy no that's m& M&M's. Those are M&M's.

I don't think this is... I think we're overcomplicating it. I think we know what starts with what. And if there's any confusion... Why don't we do a thing? Is there a point system for this? How is this working? That sounds complicated.

You just said we're overcomplicating it and then said, is there a point system? Surely me eating a Red Baron pizza is pizza. I'm not going to go R, right? Right. But then why is M&M an M and not C for candy? Yeah, that should be chocolate or candy. See, that's what I'm saying.

And I think that because to me it excludes one way or the other. Like if you take Oreo, for instance, it's either O for Oreo or it's C for cookie. But in no way can it be both. Right. Something can't be both. Like here's another example. S for Snickers or is it C for candy or B for bar? So I think we just need to make a rule.

Or C for chocolate. Is Snickers chocolate? B for bar. B for bar? A bar of candy. I think we go with brand names. How about this? We make note of everything that we have for our letter.

We submit it to each other each day. And if there's a majority, like a ruling on an item two of three agree that that's not it then then it's out maybe you get negative points it's sushi s or is it fish it's sushi it's not always fish and sushi i guess okay yes that's easy you keep coming back to a point system and it's really it really has me worried well because i'm trying to determine a penalty for right if you just fuck up like then how do we keep track of if because if we all make mistakes there has to be a differentiator how about this idea how about this idea because i i agree with you on principle how about this

we did we i'll just lay it all out okay so we get the bingo uh we get the bingo wheel uh we we get the 26 numbers in everybody gets to pull out one number that's associated with that letter. Let's say from this point on on Friday till Monday morning at 9am or whatever the date range we associate, we can only eat foods that start with that letter. You write down or photograph everything that you eat throughout the weekend, right? And then on Monday or whenever we record next, we reconcile it like this. We look at the full list of everything everybody eats

and we do the two-thirds majority and we go through and you get a strikeout on anything that you eat that is determined to be wrong. And then whoever has the most strikeouts, whoever has the least strikeouts wins. Okay. Okay. Sounds fair.

So it's not like a point system. It's more like we're punishing people for eating the wrong thing and whoever ate the most wrong things, whoever ate the least wrong things wins. And we're relying on the fact that two of three of us will agree that something is bullshit.

It's in majority rules, right? If it's 50-50, then you don't get a strike. Should we do a three strike penalty? Three strikes, you're out type thing. You're immediately out if you get three. So that could build tension. If I could just take strikes all day. If Gavin has 12 strikes, I could eat two or three strikes.

Well, we won't know. I think ideally we don't know about the strikes till we record the podcast. Do we submit our strikes to Eric? I don't think we submit our foods. I don't think we submit our foods until the day. I think we should just present what we did in the recording. Yeah. Oh, we do the strikes.

Okay. I didn't know. I thought you meant the idea of we send our items to Eric. No, we send the items to each other, and then we send our items to Eric and our... No, we send the items to each other and then we tell our strikes to Eric so Eric knows how many strikes we all have, but we don't collect them. I think it's better to get our reactions as we

record. Yeah, I agree. And that's a game you can play like if you get pee for pizza, right, but you really want some shrimp on Saturday, you can eat that shrimp and take the hit and just hope that you're taking less hits than the other players you know it's a

calculated gamble oh or you have a king prawn yeah but but yeah I think I think it has to the reveal all has to happen live and while we record so I think that's I think that's it should be the parameters I also we talked about doing it for a week I don't want to waste a week.

I have dinner reservations and shit at places. So I was just thinking the weekend would work. Do we want to do it from the second this podcast ends until like... Oh no, we're going a week. We can't just do a weekend. We can't shorten it. That's bullshit.

We got to go a week. A weekend? Monday to when we record. Yeah. So it starts Monday and then it goes until next Thursday. I think I'm filming all next week. Oh, see, that's what I'm filming. I got to be ordering.

You're the worst. Oh, dear. That's what I'm saying. I got nothing this weekend, but time. I don't. I think the weekend is lame, though. I don't think that's enough time. We need more time than just three days. I kind of agree with Andrew. It's annoying. That is lame, though. I don't think that's enough time. We need more time than just three days.

I kind of agree with Andrew. It's annoying for my schedule. So let's start Monday, first thing Monday morning, and go till the recording on Thursday. Or you have dinner reservations. You don't want to fuck up. It's fine. I'll live with it.

I'll find something on the menu that I can eat. I mean, that's kind of the point of the challenge, right? I just hope... I love that idea. I'm taking Millie out for sushi on Monday night, so I hope I get a fucking S. And are we saying you can't have the same item of food twice?

I think that's overly complicated. Yeah, I think you can do what you want to. So I can just have four pieces? If you get p yeah i guess so you say i only ate pizza for i only ate pizza four days i think that works i'm gonna try and get a different piece of food every time just just in case bonus points become a part of it also i there i've heard other comments of like suggesting we could do this multiple weeks and just like remove them from the pool if we want to i feel like there's room that we could expand on this if we want to yeah well remember which ones we had

yeah i just will not put them back in the hopper that's great this feels like the first iteration of what could be a lot of content going forward like you know when eric and i were getting into this and heavily disagreeing at dinner the other night, we did both agree that a contest where we could only eat, where we go and we can only eat from one aisle at the grocery store is a great idea. And we all just randomly get the aisle, and whatever aisle you get is what you're stuck with. So I think there's a lot of different ways, a lot of different offshoots we can do, a lot of different versions of this going forward. This is just be like our first one. Wherever you're going, you better believe American Express will be right there with you. Heading for adventure? We'll help you breeze through security.

Meeting friends a world away? You can use your travel credit. Squeezing every drop out of the last day how about a 4 p.m late checkout you just need a nice place to settle in enjoy your room upgrade wherever you go we'll go together that's the powerful backing of american express visit amex.ca slash ymx benefits vary by card terms apply so do we pick numbers today do we pick now that's what i think we i think so i got the machine i had to pull the fucking thing out of my closet i went through made sure i had the balls i was missing the three so i put a 33 in to represent three so we're all on the same page so we have we

have one two four through 26 and 33. Yeah. One. Yeah. Everything is there outside of the three. It's a 33 is the three. Everything else is represented as it should. OK, I would like that. Could we could we have like a photo of like what alphabet thing is where what number? Because I don't know off the top of my head what fucking 16 is. Oh, I see.

OK, I thought you meant for like like so that we're all clear okay I understand no let me let me grab something got it yeah just to post in the chat just so we can look at while you do that I will position myself do you want me to make this spin for a little bit or just immediate is fine I think it should spin okay so I'm gonna it's gonna be so fucking loud I'm wondering who are we pulling first who that's a great question who wants to go first well and also do Eric and Nick want to participate Eric said no but I want to offer Nick the opportunity no absolutely not no

okay so that you're just gonna help us judge I guess okay yeah yeah I like oh Nick I have a kid I have a kid too Nick yeah but you're not Millie's leftovers that's true yeah I'll help you too, Nick. Yeah, but you're not being Millie's leftovers. That's true.

Yeah, I'll help you guys judge if you need help, but I think you probably got this. Okay, that's fair. I'm here to watch people suffer. So who wants to go first? Well, let's do a test. Let's do a test. Is it possible we can see you pulling the numbers? Is there any way to?

I don't know how I would do that. Okay, that's not a problem. I could record it. You have a webcam or something connected to your... No, my phone. I could record the video of me pulling. Yeah, just record your hand doing it or something. Yeah, record your hand doing it.

No, it's a machine pulling the... I'm not touching anything. Oh. I thought you had to push a button or spin a wheel or something. You have to hit a button, but I'm saying like it's not like my hand is grabbing something. Yeah, but record that process so we can see it come out. I was more worried about the implication that I

somehow was pulling specific things. But if you show us the fucking video, then we'll have it on record. Yeah, if we overlay it, we'll know it's legit. Yeah. Do one as a test. I don't need to see the video right now, but just record it. Actually, it would be nice if you upload...

Well, whatever. I'll defer to the others for that. But I say we do one as a test right now and just see what it would be. Why aren't we going in? Let's just do it now. Let's just do it. There's no...

Okay. Gavin goes first. Why am I going... Okay, sweet. Yeah, that's great. Because I got... Yeah, I'll go first. So I assume you're setting up a little video?

Yeah, narrate this. Okay, I'm now recording the wheel. Okay. I'm hitting the button. It's so good. Oh my god. It's so fucking loud. It is so loud.

Get me a good one. We got two numbers came out. We'll just do the... Oh, I went back in. Gavin got seven. whatever seven is g seven g g that's perfect i could try some gaviscon what are foods that start with g i'm drawing a blank uh uh grain yeah like garlic grapes grapefruit uh guava see here's where it gets confusing ginger can you have green peppers i would say so

or is that p for pepper? That's just ingredients. Grits. Ghee, gelatin, Gouda cheese, goat pepper. Grits, yeah. Oh, gummy bears. Can you have gummy bears? I don't know.

That's a terrible letter, I think. I think it is, dude. I think you're in trouble. Gravy. Dude, you're going to eat so much garlic. Andrew and I just watched the season finale of the USA Challenge, the new challenge season.

And on the last episode, they had to hike 10 miles up a mountain in the snow in Patagonia. And halfway through, they had to stop and eat an entire onion and 10 cloves of garlic. And I have never seen people throw up as much in my entire life. So be careful how much garlic

you eat. Are we ready for the next drop? Yeah, make sure you filming still. Yeah. So there's the next one me or Andrew. You're not putting G back in. No, I'm just making sure that we're all on the same page. I could back in. All right. So this is for Jeff.

It's for Jeff. There's no doubt that he's running the machine. It sounds like a 1965 Ford F-150 trying to turn over. Here comes the ball. Two every time. 21. Jeff, that's 21. You.

You. You. That's a rough one. That's 21. You! You! You! That's a rough one. That's tough. So bad. We're gonna stop today. You're gonna have unagi I guess. I don't like unagi. That's too bad.

Udon noodles? Oh that's a good one. Oh I'm fucked. What can I do? There's not even any fruit I can eat. What am I gonna do? Let me pick another letter. Can I take a penalty? No, you're stuck with you. Andrew, this is the worst. These are the worst pulls.

You're gonna get a C or something super easy. I'm going for the third one. Oh, it's fallen. It fell off the chute. What is it? 16. I got 16. What's 16? Oh, it the chute. What is it? 16. I got 16. What's 16? Oh, it's so easy.

Are you serious? Yeah. Oh, that's so easy. I love this. This is a great game. It rigged. It's rigged. That's fantastic. P. Oh, my God. G and U.

Let's get some live reactions Gavin, how you feeling about G? I don't feel very good about G I'll trade you I'll trade you U for it Jeff Jeff, how you feeling about the letter U? There's no food to start with U I'm totally fucked.

I'm ucked. What am I going to eat? You're going to die. Nick sent a handy list, and one of the things is unpasteurized cheese. What can I do to get a different letter? I don't think you can. I think that's the joy of the games. Can I do double the time to pick again or something?

Remember when the end cap challenge was super easy? That was the problem with it. This is hard. Oh, man. You got a U. That sucks. Upside down cake is the only thing I can eat. Do you try Unagi? I've never heard of this stuff oh uni you could have

what is uni the sea urchin i don't like sea urchin but you could get used to it all right i i just i feel bad for Andrew. Papaya, passion fruit, plums, peaches, pineapple, pomegranate, pizza, parsnip, peas, peppers, potatoes, pumpkin, peanuts, pistachios, popcorn, pretzels, pancakes, pie.

I can tell you one thing that starts with P that I will not be eating. I know that. You can remove one thing from the list immediately. Is that pastrami that I will not be eating. I know that. You can remove one thing from the list immediately. Is that pastrami? It'd be some pencils.

Fucking fuck off. Andrew has to eat the P. I can't do this. I don't know what I'm going to do. Look, you might get some strikes, all right? But I think it's got to be attempted.

How perfect is it that Andrew pulled P? You got G. You got Gavin. It's your name. I don't know what U has to do with Jeff. That's what I've been trying to figure out. What is your connection with U, Jeff? You have fucked yourself, Jeff.

That's what it stands for. You shouldn't have had this idea, Jeff. You have fucked yourself, Jeff. That's what it stands for. You shouldn't have had this idea, Jeff. This all came from Jeff saying that the end cap challenge was too easy, so he created a new thing, and then he got f*** faced by his own idea. Perfect. Perfect. Well, hey, Jeff, at least you don't have to worry about the Oreo conundrum. You're not even close to O or C or really anything.

I would fucking kill. I would trade a PS5 for G. God, dude. I could eat grits for four days. Oh, my God. I hate udon. I'm so fucked. You don't like udon?

No. You know that? I'm so fucked. You don't like udon? No. You know that. I don't know. I don't know. It stands for uh-oh, Jeff. What about Uncle Ben's? Uncle Ben's rice. There you go. I would veto that. Well,

you would be one veto. I am... Andrew somehow fucking skates through life unscathed. I'm going to need to see this footage. Yeah. And see how legit that draw was. I'm excited to send it. I recorded...

I did it in three videos. I trusted it. I trusted it until I got a U and he got a P. I'm so glad that you could see the number before it falls out the chute because mine bounced out because of your two in the thing and it went to the floor and i had to go find it oh man i genuinely i don't know if i need to change my diet at all going into this challenge i think you normally i think you're just going to have a very standard four days. Oh, this is great.

So when are we starting this? Monday? Monday. Monday. Oh, man. I can't wait. Pizza Monday? Oh, it's going to be great.

Maybe I'll go pepperoni pizza, double up on the peas. Oh, this sucks. Oh, this is good. This really backfired on me. Grated cheese pizza. That's food, right? No. Ugly pie. What the fuck is ugly pie? What the fuck

is ugly pie? Other than Thanksgiving. The story takes on a journey with Bear who it's a fucking story to make ugly pie at home. Oh, here we go fucking story? To make ugly pie at home, you need to be... Oh, here we go. Granny Smith apples, molasses, lemon juice, flour, cinnamon, nutmeg, sugar, brown sugar, dried cranberries, and walnuts.

I can eat ugly pie. You can get diabetes. Unidjusto. It's a Finnish dessert made from a cow's colostrum. Nope. Uh. Uh. Nope. I like that we already went through you last time as one of the worst letters to get.

Yeah. I can eat Ugadi Pachadi. At least you're not trying to order Xantham gum or Xylitol. That's true. It's a special festive food that's true. That's true. It's a special festive food that can blind.

Oh, fuck. Everything I make is like there's some things that look edible, but it's going to require me to cook for like seven hours. Unpasteurized cheese. There is no way. Ur-ur-da-cheese. Ur-ur. Yeah, Nick's right. You got the weekend da chee, uh. Er, uh. Yeah, Nick's right. You got the weekend of meal prep, dude. You can, like, lay out your whole week.

You get, like, so in control of your life. Oh, I can eat something called a Utah scone. Okay. Utah scones. They're light and fluffy, but dry and crumbly in texture. There are no rules when it comes to toppings. Oh. Uh, well.

I think the only rule is you gotta eat it with unpasteurized cheese. Fucker. Motherfucker. This is great. Granola! I'm gonna be honest, I- when I bought the Bingham machine, I was like, ah, that was kind of a waste. I regret doing it. Zero regrets now.

That was fantastic. This has made my week. So, like, the main thing I can eat is is unagi which is freshwater eel i might as well fuck me what's the pun we didn't do there is no punishment we didn't determine it's just uh yeah you know just sucks this is a test as you said yeah it's just uh wanting to win for the love of the game okay yeah for the love of the game. Okay. Yeah, for the love of the game. Oh, I can eat urchins. That's great. If you view it this way,

if we do another round of this, one of the worst letters out of the rotation theoretically could only get easier for you. Oh, here we go. I can eat Uluku. It's second only to the potato. One of the most widely grown root vegetable crops in the Andean regions of South America.

So it's readily available for me here. It is brightly colored with waxy skin. It can be yellow, pink or purple in hue. Cool. Oh, it's big in Bolivia. It's a big, big and it's a big traditional food during Catholic Holy Week in Bolivia. Awesome. I'm sure that'll be easy to find.

You can eat ube. It's like that purple yam. Oh, that sounds good. Yeah, it sounds good, right? Purple. Purple. Yams are delicious. Yeah, and this one's purple. Purple's fun. That's fun for you. That's fun. Now this I could eat. Ugly fruit. Ugly fruit or unique fruit, commonly known as Jamaican tangelo, is a citrus fruit that arose through natural hybridization of the tangerine with the grapefruit. I'm all about that. Can I get ugly fruit in Texas? Can you can you make an ugly pie out of ugly?

Yeah, I was about to say, is there no ugly fruit and ugly pie umbrella? If so, that feels like a tremendous waste. I agree with Andrew. I am. Gavin, do you have any suggestions for Jeff? No, just laughter is the only response. with Andrew. Gavin, do you have any suggestions for Jeff? No. Just laughter is the only response needed. I was thinking about

geez, Jeff's in his own world of hate. Oh man, I feel like Nick brought up that you'd probably get an X if we did this again. I feel like we need to do this again just to see. Andrew, I hope you are able to muddle through four days of pizza. That's going to be rough.

Oh, it's going to be. Yeah, I might have to swap it out with a pineapple, get some pineapple pieces, potatoes. It's going to be a real struggle. You've got such an abundance of choice. Your choices will have pea. You can put peas on your peas. You can have a pizza with all pea ingredients.

Yeah, that's what I said. Nice pepperoni pizza. Double up. That's how easy you've got it. A pistachio maybe? Like I said, one of the top tier nuts from before. I got a lot of choices I could go with. You could also eat peanuts, the lowest tier of nuts. The coke of nuts.

Yeah. You could eat peas. I could eat peas. I feel like I have to. You can eat peas. I could eat peas. I feel like I have to. You can eat pretzels. Jeff, are there any nuts that you can eat? You can eat Pringles. Nuts that start with U. That's a great question.

Ugly nut. I'm fucked. I'm ucked. No, it doesn't look like it so here's the thing I have I think without a doubt gotten the easiest letter to work with like undeniably I think we would all agree p is the easiest the issue is as we've established we got the salad cream veins over here I am probably the least qualified so I'm terrified that i somehow i'm gonna screw this up with the easiest position which feels very possible yeah if you salad cream

the p that would be the biggest waste it would be there'd be no hope for me imagine how mad jeff will be if you salad cream having p and he has been dealing with you all week that's not that's a that's a greg right there that's not a salad cream. It's way worse. That's a Greg. Yeah. I think I would get out and use my, get out a Greg free card on this. I think I'm,

I think I'm just going to have to walk around the grocery store and look for shit that says that starts with you. Oh, I hate, I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. I said we should do this.

I love it. I think it's the best thing we've ever done, potentially. Wait, do we have to start this week? Monday. Yeah, we're starting Monday. This upcoming Monday. But this one won't come out for... This will come out two weeks from now.

This one will come out in two weeks, and then the actual food one where we digest it. So when we talk about it, since you're busy all... Wait, you're shooting all next week? Yeah. That monkey lunch still? That's still okay okay we have to move the monkey lunch oh no come on no well we why don't we do monkey breakfast god you know i'm not doing we're we're it's moving we're moving monkey lunch another week we'll do monkey lunch and we'll do two more of these.

We'll do what was supposed to be this week. I could probably still make it happen. No, you don't have to. You don't have to force. Don't listen to Andrew. You do have to. He just wants more time to go through his fucking slideshow. I'm almost done. What about monkey evening then? I'd do a monkey evening.

It doesn't matter to me. I'm happy. I just want to film the fucking thing are we really moving it are we really talking about moving fucking monkey lunch I need that as a soundbite Jeff what are you gonna eat for monkey lunch because at that point you can eat anything I don't know man I'll probably eat pizza and grits

oh so will I well not the grits but half of that that'll be me all week I'll be sick of pizza by the time you get there so we gotta start this Monday because we need to discuss it in the next recording which is next Thursday. Are you going to make

face next Thursday? Is that okay? I'm assuming no. So why did we set all this up? Well, because he didn't reveal that until after we did it. But it's fine because the next recording we'll do, we'll have the whole thing finished. It'll be all done. We can talk about our experience.

I think it's... I can make these recordings. I'll be all done we can talk about our experience i think it's i can i can make these recordings i'll be there okay okay there's something so not assuring about your assurances i'm so excited for jeff to eat you foods for four days and then we go and then gavin And then Gavin goes, well, boys, guess what? That's great. This is, I feel, all settled. We got the system laid out. Show what we eat. Oh, I can't wait to just be sending Jeff pizza photos. But what I was going to say was that we could potentially do this on like...

I will be out of town that week. Okay. Is it for something worth it? Yeah. But I also informed my producer about that like months ago and it's been on my calendar and it's disgusting it's true that's why we're not a surprise i've known about i've known about that yeah that must be awfully convenient knowing exactly when you can do something well i plan stuff ahead you know yeah i'm sort of relying

on the schedules of others gavin the man just drew a you he he just drew a you let's just we'll just let him it doesn't matter who's right he drew you let him have it we're gonna let him have it in this moment all right it's a tough day for him i will say are we good we all happy with how this is scheduled we're fine with it before i move on yeah so monday so three days from now, we're starting. Great. Okay. I want to talk about a different bet that we've discussed a little bit.

The gamer score bet between Gavin and I. Ooh. I think, and I don't know, we haven't talked about this because you've been away, and I didn't want to bother you on your vacation. Did you see that Goldeneye is coming out soon to the console? I did. And I'm assuming Goldeneye was a big soon to the console. I did. And I'm assuming Goldeneye was a big childhood game for you. So when you played it, you were stalled for it.

Yeah, it was my childhood. It was your childhood. I think instead of the Gamerscore bet, because after we recorded that, I had a bunch of people just send me like, here's a $5 game that you could get 1,000 points in in three minutes. I don't think the content that'd be made from that would be that interesting. I don't know how I'd make it.

Like that's, I think the best part of all the game bets we've had is there's been a content piece attached to it. This would just, the gamer score thing would be essentially just me throwing money at a problem to win it. I don't think that's funny or all that interesting. Why don't we do something in Goldeneye

when that comes out? It could be times. They've got timed level things. Like, I just think there's something there for both Bond guys. Try and get like a 20 second frigate on 00. Yeah, like do exactly what we did with the Halo and the times if we want to go that way and do it on a Bond level instead for Goldeneye, since that's right around the corner, it seems. Why am I suddenly playing?

I'm just I'm suggesting a bet. You don't have to play. If you want, we could set times. I just haven't played the game in 20 years so i don't know i can't be like i'm gonna get 45 seconds on this level i don't know the level names i haven't played in a while i just thought this would be fun because we've talked about wanting to do the halo thing again in some form and i feel like gold and i could work because they both i feel like would be equal at it i'd let you set the terms like in the halo thing I just thrown it out there as a suggestion I think that'd be a better idea than the gamer score bet take less time out of your life not necessarily honestly

I think if you had to get to a million gamer score in any short amount of time it would ruin your life well we ended up the last time we said it was half a mil yeah and i think that would be incredibly doable based off of the information people have sent me i do think it is to andrew's point i do think it is throwing money at a problem to solve it um it's not at some point i think funny or interesting i like i like the golden eye angle i feel like you guys should both wear tuxedos the whole time you're playing not the tuxedo obviously but tuxedos the whole time you're playing. Not the tuxedo, obviously, but tuxedos. Or dress up as your... One of you has to dress up as Oddjob.

Or, I don't know, dress up as your favorite blonde character. Yeah, I think that's funny. I don't think that needs to be a requirement. I like the idea, though. I just want to play Goldeneye. It would be funny. I agree with that. All right.

We'll do something with Goldeneye. Yeah, I think that'd be fun. Hey, you guys are Halo guys. Can you explain to me, is split-screen co-op never coming out for Halo 5? Or Halo Infinite? Is that what's going on here? Yeah, it sounds like that will never happen.

So I held off on playing Halo for over a year. But that will be co-op. They will have online co-op, so I don't know if you're... And I believe it's cross-play as well, so as long as you have a computer and a console. No, I just... We're an Xbox and one PS5 family, so...

So I could still play with Millie, we would just have to play on different Xboxes. Absolutely. Yeah, she could just be in her room. Okay. And is that already out, or is that not? No, that is hoping, I think, hopeful to be out by the end of the year. Oh, a year later. Halo Infinite is a mess as far as the content

and release structure goes. It's probably one of my most played Halo games, though. I still really like it. Yeah, it's the most frustrating part of it is that at its core, it's so good, and the Forge stuff that is coming out for it looks Incredible the things that people are doing in just the beta for it is ridiculous Just want to play the campaign with my daughter. We it's a great campaign so excited for it

I think one of the hardest things to nail in Halo is like does it feel like Halo? Mm-hmm, and they got the feel right which is good. That's they just don't have anything else and they got the feel right which is good that's they just don't have anything else it's yeah i think the single player experience though you'll have a great time it's really the multiplayer that is barren yeah okay and i enjoyed the multiplayer as little as i played but um that to me it is like it's not that it's not good it's that nothing has changed since you've played really like it's essentially the same game with no content updates that's just it's a little tired gotcha that's good oh well uh what a good day are you okay what a good day for some of us are you all right man man i was like just about any letter would have been fine but you like i could have made a lot of stuff work

i mean i'm gonna make you work i'm gonna make it work i'll make it work i wonder if we should try and go out for dinner one night and we'll order our respective oh i'd love that yeah yeah that's a great idea what do you think i'm gonna order i'm gonna order ugly fruit and udon the uh the udon unagi i feel like i read a story recently where The Rock brings food to restaurants for them to make. He brings his own food for them to cook. That could be you.

You could just bring your own you products. Yeah. Here's my Ukrainian dinner rolls. Please heat them up. You could have a rough few days. I feel bad for you. How about this? There's a sushi restaurant in austin called uchi

can i eat anything in that restaurant no no damn it that does not that's not doesn't fly that's fair that's fair i don't expect you to have seen them because you've been you've been away gavin have you watched any of survive block island at this point three episodes have released or i guess two the third one came out this morning yeah you watched any of that i watched the first two yeah i uh i really enjoyed it and i think it's interesting to see what was edited out of those episodes pretty much anything we did because we're never that's true i don't know so far yeah that is we've had a lack of coverage but i don't you know what made me really happy is and i don't know if it's in episode three if it if it is it it will people have seen it by

now but you and i talked about that we built to a cloud in the sky and that it was meaningless like there's nothing it was like a bug we thought there'd be something up there we spent all this effort getting to it i don't know if it's like a copy and paste error or something yeah i don't know if that scene is in the show of us doing that but in like the first or second episode they do a cool transition to the lava base and you can see our blocks in the sky and it just made me so happy there's like a half second of our bullshit just like a line that goes nowhere yeah that's brought me a lot of joy i like you don't really see us build anything at the base either but you can there's a sign by the hot tub that i made it just says wet box and that made it so i don't remember if it made the edit or not but so don't quote me on this

but if it didn't there was discussion because you guys did it we it was actually uh inconvenient you guys took forever to do it and we it was just so funny we let you guys go uh and you it actually pushed production back a little bit while you guys climbed your no sorry to inconvenience you sorry no no that's fine it's fine it's okay i don't care uh but there was a lot of discussion that day about clipping that and making it like shoulder content like just taking that like that little non sequitur out and then just making it its own piece of content so i think if it didn't make the episode it will make it out in some form sweet awesome i believe because it was very very very funny i watched you guys forever it was very funny i uh yeah it's fun did uh we already talked never mind never mind i was gonna say in the first episode it was

interesting to see that like it was edited out me failing to get i I was just going to say in the first episode, it was interesting to see that it was edited out and me failing to get... I was so goddamn mad to see in the first episode that that totem was just in the grass. I never thought... I assumed it would be in a chest somewhere. I must have passed it so many times. They edited it out. I went to that island it was on. I think Blaine did too

based on the episode. I don't know how he didn't get it either. Pretty funny. That's good. I'm excited. You excited, Jeff? You sound enthused. Yeah, I'm going to go to the grocery store now and I'm going to start prepping. We should have done the drool at the end.

We should have, yeah, really. I mean, who could have foreseen this? That's fair. I figured he was going to get an H and eat hamburgers. You know what I mean? And then now, boy. Maybe I'll dabble some pastrami. I got that on the menu as well.

Maybe I could see where I line up. Listen, that's totally, I recommend that. I think pastrami is lovely. Not for me, but I want everybody else to, I want pastrami to enjoy other people and other people to enjoy pastrami. I want nothing but the best for pastrami. And if you guys develop some sort of a relationship,

I'll support it. Fantastic. This is fun. I can't wait to catch up with you guys next week or two weeks, whenever it happens, depending on... Alright, don't forget, Monday morning from when you wake up on Monday, whenever that is, until we record on Thursday,

Andrew, you're only eating P, and Gavin, you're only eating G, and Jeff, you're only eating U. I'm flying someone in for a collaboration, and I'm going to have to explain to them why I'm eating when we haven't watched. Yes, you are.

Just that Nick asked, does this impact drinks? No, it doesn't. Purely food. No. Just food. Just food. Sweet. This is fun drinks? No, it doesn't. Purely food. Just food. Sweet. This is fun. Good luck, everyone. Good luck. Oh my god. I love you guys and I also hate you

a little bit. I guarantee you by Wednesday evening, I'm going to fucking despise you. I apologize for any mean texts I send in advance. In reality, it's you being mad at yourself because this was your idea. You did all of this. This is you.

Yes, but I'm going to externalize that. Yeah, that's fine. I understand. I'm saying I won't take it personally because I know really it's just you being mad at yourself. It'll be pure hypocrisy, but it is what it is. Alright, well, thank you for listening to another It's just you being mad at yourself. It'll be pure hypocrisy, but it is what it is. All right. Well, thank you for listening to another episode of the face podcast. I believe this was the one, two, three version.

And so four, five, six. We're going to go away. Hey, guys. Major League fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of face. Gavin killed Coolio. Should we still send out socks? Is piss thicker than blood? How did everyone do on the alphabet challenge?

Gavin's Godzilla roll. Three days to upside down. And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face. We'll see you next time.