Regulation Podcast - GoochPooch & Regulation Guy // The Extra Medium of the 70s [156]

Episode Date: May 31, 2023

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about more nicknames, Poochie, the Mall Draft, other british Gavin, Geoss & Georemy, main birthdays, an extra year of dumb, Gavin has a clip, Zona Andrew, bicentennial man, sleep situations, morning thoughts, Chungle, the $13,000 light, similar slime situation, and cosmic crisps. Come to the F**kface museum at RTX July 7-9 go to this website on your phone www.rtxaustin.com  Sponsored by Hello Fresh http://hellofresh.com/face16 and use code face16 Honey http://joinhoney.com/face and Fum http://tryfum.com/FACE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

gavin will be here in 20 seconds so if there's anything derogatory you want to say about him now's the time whoa 20 seconds isn't enough time. He just made the noise. That was so funny. He's early. So last time we talked about back lengths, COVID, Geo Wizard, Sloppy Joe's Trivia, Italian Food, Corridor Digital, Jason Bourne, Season season ticket resale, Gavin Slime, which I'd love an update on if possible, and Rock Not Rock Reactions. There's more, but that's the gist of it. This is 156, whenever you're ready. Hello and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast.

My name is Jeff Ramsey, with me as always, Andrew Panton and Gavin Free, or Agnag as we like to be called. and Gavin Free, or Agneg, as we like to be called. I gotta be honest with you, it kind of throws me when Eric says the episode number, because then it feels dumb for me to say it again. Episode 156. Well, what Eric is saying is not in the show, I assume. Yeah, it's just for you. That's just for you.

It's just us. Oh, but I thought it was lovely. I think it'd be a nice little button for the show, for the audience to hear, too. I'll be honest. I'm surprised it wasn't introduced as T-Bone, Ram Scoop, and Frosty. That's a great point.

I haven't. Usually, I've been making a point lately of listening to the previous episode before we record, and I just got behind, and I actually just listened to this week's episode, so I was an episode behind.

So I forgot about Ram Scoop. What is it? T-Bone, Ram Scoop what is it Ram Scoop and what you forgot Frosty Frosty of all the names Frosty dropped Frosty over Ram Scoop well no because Ram Scoop is such a ridiculous name what do you mean it's yeah that's fair I deleted Ram Scoop welcome to another episode of the podcast my name is t-bone and with me as always uh ram scoop and frosty oh how's it going i'm staying frosty jeff this is once i'm glad to hear yeah did we ever hear nick and eric's nicknames that they want no i don't i don't

i don't know that i'm really like a nickname guy I guess if anything I want to be Big Dog but that's pretty much it Hmm What did that mean? That was interesting You know I've always I've always Imagined Eric as more of a

Gooch Like hey what's up Gooch That's not what we're doing here We're not doing other people's nicknames. That's not what this exercise has been. Hey, it's the Gooch. I'm picking my own. He picked Ram Scoop.

I'm picking my own name. To be fair, though, as soon as Jeff said Gooch, it fit so well. It does. Yeah. Nope. Nope. It doesn't matter. All of this is getting cut out anyway.

I reckon Gooch or Gooch Boy. No, I don't like Gooch Boy. Nope. You know what I mean? All of this is getting cut out anyway. I reckon Gooch or Gooch Boy. Gooch Boy. No, I don't like Gooch Boy. The Goochie? Nope. No. That's what he says. I mean, that's not what this exercise is.

It's not that. What about a mixture of both? Gooch Dog. Gooch Dog. Big Gooch. What about Big Gooch? Hey, if I had to pick one, I'd pick Gooch Dog, but that's just me. What if you switch dog to pooch and then we got something?

You think Gooch Pooch? I think it's amazing. Thanks for asking. Is it Gooch Pooch or Pooch Gooch? It's Gooch Pooch, I think. I mean, I'm not really, again, to be perfectly clear, the exercise was pick your own nickname, and now I have not. No, but in defense to them, they met you halfway.

You want a big dog, you end up with Gooch Pooch. I feel like that's a good middle. Andrew, how is that in defense of anything? Well, I'm stating you wanted one thing, they wanted something. As a rules guy, you should strictly be in defense of me in this situation. Well, as somebody who is labeled as piss boy for a lot of this show, I feel like you don't get a lot of rights when it comes to your nickname. So you would be on my side.

No, I'm not. I'm against it because I had no rights. Why do you get rights? Why do you have any nickname rights? They met you halfway. You should be happy. You should be happy they met you halfway. Those are rules I can get behind. I will concede to gooch pooch this is the first part of the face that just feels like

straight up bullying yes absolutely yes because again this is not the exercise look no nobody's bullying anybody eric doesn't have to keep the name we all get to pick our own names yeah that's yeah that's what's gonna happen yeah yeah yeah yeah That's what the fuck I'm about to deal with on social media for the next year. No. Yeah, here's what's going to happen. Everyone's going to use the nickname I picked and definitely not Gooch Pooch.

Audience, audience, if you're going to refer to Eric as anything other than Eric, please use his preferred nomenclature, which is Big Dog. Yeah, that'll work. Yeah, this is me as a personal plea to you. Please only refer to him as Eric, Spice Rat, or Big Dog.

The name of this episode is Gooch Pooch. Do you have any visuals when you think Gooch Pooch? Is there anything that comes to mind of what a representation would be? Yeah, I was going to say say i was literally about to yeah poochie i was putting in the chat that's mine i immediately it just feels so natural it feels like eric feels like um what about what about nick uh nick do you have something because i saw the audience suggested something for you that was pretty cool i'm curious to hear that but i've always kind of

i've never done this one before but i a schwartzy i think that's kind of cool it's like the the guy behind the wheel kind of thing or maybe like a play on um you know since i'm a big fan of sauces like sauce boss like saucy or the boss although that's taken isn't it i've just i've just broken the news to face jam that this show has been using the sauce monkey and Nick laughing for a while now. And now if he's going to become a sauce thing in this also, I think we're definitely there's going to be like some kind of war. I don't think civil war.

Yeah, it's it's going to be like an Avengers Civil War type of situation. But to be fair, Face Jam didn't start the whole Nick laughing thing. That was an RT podcast thing. That's true. That's true. He used to laugh many a time back on the in the old studio. What's an excellent historical point, Gavin. And I'm sure I'm sure that the members of that podcast will understand and agree completely.

They're very they're they're definitely rational. I was going to say, Gavin, great point. That won't matter at all. Nick, the people I was reading, I was reading the comments on the mall draft, which has, which has gone about as well as I could have ever imagined and hoped. Everybody has, I've been reading everybody's

personal mall picks for their drafts. And it's just been, it's just been a lot of fun. But somebody in there said, I feel like after seeing Nick's mall picks, he's like the epitome of a regulation guy. And I thought, that's a pretty cool nickname, regulation guy. Oh, I like that. Yeah, I could be a regulation guy.

Is that not what I said? And you and Gavin had a big argument about all this? Is that not? Didn't we talk about that on an office set? Oh, yeah, you did say Nick was like the most normal guy. Is that not what I said and you and Gavin had a big argument about all this? Is that not? Didn't we talk about that? You did say Nick was the most normal guy. Yeah. Gavin disagreed. I don't remember the terminology of regulation guy being used. I don't either. Is that not?

In spirit, yes. Yes. Who preliminary numbers obviously it's only been out a few hours uh who's winning the more draft i mean according to these images that nick doctored and threw up here he is winning in the second one uh but in the other one i am ahead barely um wow i will be putting up a poll on the youtube channel i could actually do it now and see kind of like where it lands a little bit i. I was explaining it to

Meg, and she was really into the idea. She did her own little draft, and then I played her everyone's picks. What did she pick? She picked so many that were on there. She picked Auntie Anne's, and she also picked that Suncoast video, or whatever it was called. She thought

Eric had some amazing picks, and she thought mine were complete dog shit. Well, she's a regular. I like Meg a lot. She's a normal person. She's great. My sense when we recorded it was that Eric won. I didn't want to say anything ahead of time to tilt anything, but that was my feeling.

Well, let me tell you, I have gotten nothing but support from the Gen X crowd. So I think it may be generational. Yeah, I do enjoy that we all seem to have our little niche somewhat for that. Like I've seen a lot of people supporting Zellers, which is great. I've seen people with Gavin's picks. It's nice. Dude, Greg's gets a lot of love. Greg's and Zellers, I would say, have gotten the most love.

You've got to go for regional love sometimes. Yeah. No love for gamers. Gregson sellers I would say have gotten the most love you gotta go for regional love sometimes yeah no love for gamers I think it might be just a little too old for the audience hey uh Gavin I have a really minor Gavin thing I wanted to tell you

that happened to me today a Gavin story that happened to me today okay I was at the coffee shop that i go to oftentimes in the day on a nice day uh to sit outside and write for face and so i was there writing for face getting all my notes together and then working on this other thing i've got for y'all eventually and uh i heard somebody behind me call out an order for gavin and it's like a coffee place in a taco place behind me. And I thought, oh, how funny would it be if Gaver is at the same coffee shops I am at the same time.

It would be so lovely to run into you. So I turned around to see if it was you. And of course it was not you. It was another guy named Gavin. But this other guy named Gavin was also British. So just want you to know, there's another British Gavin walking around the coffee shops of Austin

impersonating you. Have you ever met a non-British Gavin? Uh, I exclusively, really? I view that as like an exclusively. Yeah, we had someone who worked for Ristie to call Gavin. Yeah, okay. Fair enough. I just, I don't think I've,

I've encountered two Gavins, you and Gavin and Stacey, both very, like, distinct. Very European. Yeah, I mean, I definitely think Gavin is a British-y name, but it got me wondering, like,

is it a very common name in England? Like, do you run into a lot of other Gavins in England? Because I never, it just didn't cross my mind that there would be another Gavin in Austin. No, I don't think I ever met another English one.

I'm not sure how I feel about two Austin Gavin British people. I brought it up because I thought it would irk you. Yeah, maybe get under your skin a little bit. Maybe we should meet up and one of us should go official. I might have to go official on Ramscoop.

I don't know what to say. Well, thank God you've that that backup if you need to pull the cord i know i wonder how many gavins there are in austin it almost sounds like you need to like put out a get together of some kind like a news alert of like all gavins must gather at well you have your your um i do i got the andrew paytonton I'm in an Andrew Payton group chat so I think you need to do the Austin equivalent of that for Gavin's.

I wonder how many there would be. I don't know how I'd get the word out. How would people see it? On your Facebook account that you don't use? Yeah, Billboard. You could get a plane to fly around with a sign on the back of it this is gavin meetup i just hope that all the gavins in austin are just looking up that day yeah i think the billboard is the way to go also coffee shops post it post a flyer and all the coffee shops

are great just like it's a band concert i'll see what i can do i think it's a good idea there's at least one more of you out there uh and he loves coffee i can't i don't i don't know how many andrews i've encountered i know you've barely like rarely met any other jeffs right jeff with like a g spelling specifically i mean there's one rt i worked with one that rooster teeth but you made a note when you brought them up that that's like very rare. Yeah, I think I've- It's crazy that statistically. I've encountered maybe three in my life. Can I ask something?

Of course. Because I have this saved as a tweet draft and it was bothering me and I figured I could bring it up with you, Jeff, because you spell your name G-E-O-F-F. The way that that is spelled is like this in chat jeff jeff is like geoff yeah if there's a name like jess can you do geoss or is that can you not is that not the same? I think that, well, first off, I'll preface this by saying what I have to tell everybody when they bring up my name and then ask me questions is if I

had any choice in the matter. I didn't pick the name Jeff. I didn't, like, as a teenager, go I think I feel like a Jeff. I was born with it. My mom picked it. She was, like, 18, and it was the 70s. And I don't know, but I assume she was on drugs.

Like, I don't know where the inspiration came from. The only other Jeff I ever knew was Jeffrey the Giraffe, which was pretty cool because he was the Jeffrey. The giraffe was the gateway to all fucking toys in my childhood. And so I like your Jerem, the G E O R E M Y Jeremy. So like, I don't know. I don't,

I certainly don't claim any sort of authority over the, the machinations of how to spell a Jeff. But I'll also say it seems like all bets are off with names. People have the dumbest, weirdest, craziest spellings for names left and right. So yes, I think that there probably is a G-e-o-s-s

that's pronounced jess and there probably is a jerry seinfeld i've just been writing names do you think jeff if you were given the choice to name yourself, let's say when you're like 10, is there any world where you end up with Jeff? No, I'd be T-Bone. You'd be T-Bone. But at 10, how long have you been sitting on T-Bone? You named yourself. I don't understand.

You did name yourself. You changed your name. I've actually changed my name twice. I was, yeah. But not my first name. Last name doesn't matter. I know, but you keep saying like yeah my mom picked this thing you changed your name twice okay yes but there's for very specific reasons right

like i understand yeah i was i can i can i be honest with you i like the name jeff i really do and i like the way it's spelled g-e-o-f-fR-E-Y. Maybe it's just because it's the first name I learned how to spell, but it makes sense to me. And it feels like me. Like, I feel like a G-Jeff. I feel like I embody whatever a G-Jeff is, good and bad. And so I'm really down with it. The other names I could give two fucks about.

The middle names and the last names, that's why I changed those. Like, I fucking changed underwear. Like, that doesn't matter to me. Butff is i feel the same way about like the look of my own i also really like my birthday it's just to me it's like it's like the main day like it's the first day that i had to remember it's just like it looks really good written down i just like but i assume it's just everyone feels that way about their own birthday like this looks great to me i love the way that looks really that's a their own birthday. Like, this looks great to me. I love the way that looks. Really?

That's a good looking birthday. Can I tell you something? This is something I wanted to talk about. And it's what a funny fucking transition to it. I was thinking about, Andrew and I have spent a lot of time talking about how to specifically create content of and about our birth years. And we've been bouncing around ideas back and forth for actually,

Andrew, we've probably been talking about these bits for way longer than face. I think we've been talking about this kind of stuff for four or five years, maybe even, um, sixth round draft. Uh, who should,

do we do a birthday draft? Um, but we've been talking about like how interesting it would be to live as an adult in the year that you were born, and so via popular culture or whatever. And so I was thinking about my birthday the other day, and I realized I have a really unique birthday, almost kind of a perfect birthday in a way. I always recognize that having a June birthday is great because you get presents every six months.

Like right then in the middle of the year, you have a birthday party, is great because you get presents every six months. Like right then in the middle of the year, you have a birthday party and you don't get combo gifts like being born in January or December like Jack and some sad people. So it's kind of spaced out evenly. But I was also born in 1975. So I was born in the

exact middle of the 70s. And then I was born in the middle month of that year. And then I was born four days off the middle of that month. I've almost got, I'm almost, I was almost born exactly in the dead fucking center of the 1970s. So you're like the,

the extra medium of the 70s. I am an extra medium of, I'm the 70s. I'm the extra medium of the 1970s. And I would say that that 1974 1976 would be like medium you know yeah that makes sense to me that makes sense to me and i'll tell you what i'll relinquish the crown to anybody who wants to approach me and tell me they were born june 16th 17th or 18th of 1975 but until i meet that person i'm keeping that that's i've never

considered my birthday in that way that was a very good argument Jeff. You just sold me on your birthday being great. I think it's a great. I mean, I don't know why, but it's weird to be born smack dab in the middle of something. You know? It is. I like it. I like you sold it very well.

What about you, Gavin? What is the perk outside of it just looks nice. Do you have any other reason for why you like your birthday? As far as structure? Not really. Outside of just it's a nice time of year. May 23rd of May is usually a nice time of year. May, 23rd of May. It's usually a good chance of sun.

Okay. Good chance of sun. Great. What's funny about that? Well, it's just, yeah, you know, I said it was a sixth round birthday. I'm standing by that.

Sixth round. Nice chance of weather, if that's your main selling point. I mean, it's mainly downsides. I feel like no matter your background, all that stuff, there's a huge disadvantage, I think, to being one of the youngest people in the year. And I'm like, I'm not the youngest.

I'm not an August kid. But I feel like the people born in September really win when it comes to school. I disagree. Yeah, my daughter was born 23 days after the school year started. And so she was born 23 days too late to join. And so she had to do an entire extra year of kindergarten because they wouldn't let her start at the right time.

She's going to she's going to graduate at 19 instead of 18. What? Yeah. Like the cutoff for when you can join is like September. I don't know. Like it was like September 8th or something. And she was born right after it. So they made her.

They held her back a year and she couldn't start fucking. She couldn't start kindergarten or first grade for another year because that's why Millie had Millie has like an extra year of school in her that doesn't count because she had to do an extra year of either preschool or kindergarten. That's bollocks. Yeah, it sucks. I graduated. Dude, i graduated at 17 millie's gonna graduate at almost 19 wow god damn yeah it sucks that's a shit birthday september sucks like august would be great september's fucking dog shit

how is august better because it's before that cut off so then you'd be the youngest kid in your school that's why i was the youngest kid in my school. So you want to be the youngest? Yeah, because you get out the door faster. I joined the army at 17. Everybody else around me was already well into their 18s or 19s when they were

graduating high school. I felt like I graduated early just because I got lucky with my birthday. I always just felt like I was an extra year of dumb. I hadn't lived long enough to be at school yet. You and I just saw things totally differently. I think you would have felt that no matter what.

I think that's just you. I don't think that's specific to when you're born. I definitely felt like when I was at school, I definitely felt like I shouldn't be here yet. I shouldn't be here yet? I shouldn't be here yet? Like, what do you mean by that? Like, how long? Like, you needed more time?

What does that mean? I could have done with starting school. I don't know. I hated school. Yeah. Oh, I'm with you on that. All of history was just wasted on me. And now I love it.

I wish I could. I wish you could pick the subjects you want to do and do all the rest later mm-hmm we're were you like sitting in math class math class and going like oh boy I should have gotten another year before coming in front of these books like everyone's cracking on and I would just be like this just isn't for me yet not yet there were some times where it would always freak me out where I'd be we'd all be like sat

looking at the chalkboard or whatever listening to the teacher and I would just zone out and then it like I'd be five minutes in to everyone else just like head down writing and I would just zone back in be like oh what are we doing and i would just be not behaving to happen to me so often and you think that's because of your birthday

well i just wasn't ready to be there i just wasn't focus good i think if i was born in september and i the year ahead, you know, I'd be ready. You'd be like sitting in class going, I already know this stuff. I'm a year older. No, I'd be there with everyone. Where the teacher would be like, all right, do all these sums. Do work through all them. I'd be listening and be like, okay.

And it'd be some other idiot who was just staring at the ceiling. Well, what if- What, were you born in May? Yeah, is it months? Now look at that kid. He needs another three months under his belt before he can tackle this attraction i'm just imagining like billy madison like levels of like that's what gavin would have been ready like he's a full-grown adult he's like you know i'm ready i'm gonna take this on now i can really grasp honestly i could have been a year later on maths uh probably a year later on English and maybe 10 years later on history. I agree with the history thing.

Maybe it's a cultural thing. Same. Maybe it's a cultural thing. But in America, growing up in America, like getting through school faster and younger was was prized. And like that, we had shows like Doogie Howser where everybody wanted to be like neil patrick harris and graduate high school at 15 to go be a doctor people like all kids around me were always studying to skip grades so they could get through it faster it just like it was it's very competitive in that way at least through my childhood yeah i feel like the incentive in this country is just to get working crack on Get through education and get earning. That makes sense. Start with your life.

Yeah. I didn't view it that. I guess I hated school as well. And the allure of like finishing faster was not at all related to academic success, but to just be done with it. Just to be able to move on to whatever next. Mm hmm. Yeah.

I've got a clip. You got a clip? Oh, God. Uh oh. Uh oh. Uh oh. clip. Oh, God. Like, I don't know what it is when he says it. I'm terrified every time. It's just going to be something.

It's just going to I wonder what it's going to be. I would like to know the ratio of which these clips are. Like, I feel like it's 80 percent something dumb I've said. And then maybe like 20 percent calling you out on something. Eric, I don't think we've ever gotten a Jeff clip. Oh, I agree. I agree. No, there's been Jeff clips. I think it's going to be me.

I'm ready for it to be me. Gavin, whenever you're ready, attack. Don't worry, guys. You've got nothing to worry about. All right, here we go. I have, by my measurements, a 26-inch back. Oh! 26 inches.

And then this. A, you're an idiot. And B, do you think you could eat 24 inches of pancakes? That seems like a lot. I just liked that I called you an idiot and then immediately got the number on like i immediately forgot the number you just told me and i was two inches off the whole point to call yourself out i gotta keep things fair we went that whole time remembering the number or like to find out the number when he finally said it i just disregarded

it immediately i i remember hearing that and thinking that you just picked a number it didn't connect to me that you forgot that was great i uh i bet if you were born in september you wouldn't have been so stupid to call yourself that's funny what are we looking at what is this nick? Nick posted a photo of a Zelda character. I'm guessing that's how many pancakes a Zelda is. Is that do those percentage? Yeah. Do they do they correlate?

Are they pretty close to what Andrew said his back percentages were? Yes. Way close. He's a Zona. Interesting. Are you like a Zona, Andrew? Yeah, I am. That's actually my birth sign.

I believe is a zona yeah i'm a definite zone i mean i don't know why we need the zone in here we already i submitted before i'll send it again regulation this picture is so fucking funny to me it It's just, it's you and you're waving. It's so funny. I love it. It's gonna be the thumbnail for last week's episode. When I make it. It's his face.

His face is so, it's like, he's got his little toes. He's got a drawstring on the pants. It's so funny. I love it. I love it so much. It's got your expressionstring on the pants. It's so funny. I love it. I love it so much. He's got your expression down so fucking well. I don't even know how to put it into words, but it looks so much like you.

I realized another way recently of how I was dumb for something. I just remembered that I didn't, I learned something probably in my early 20s that I should have learned a lot sooner. Okay. And I just remembered this the other day I thought I thought Bicentennial meant robot Because of that movie celebrating the bicentennial

And I was like Was it like some sort of major robot incident That people Centennial You guys don't have robot day in England? I was like what's this robot day about? Oh my god. I must have been like

21 or 22 when I realized that Bicentennial meant 200. Oh, fuck. That is incredible. That makes so much sense when you have like Millennial and Centennial. I'm an idiot. The robot

in this movie They made look like Robin Williams Yeah Have you seen that movie? No I've also read the book It's an Isaac Asimov

It's a much better book than a movie It eventually becomes Robin Williams It becomes realistic enough to look like He just looks like a man Oh that's interesting booked in a movie yeah i mean it eventually becomes robin williams like they it becomes realistic enough to look like he just looks like a man oh that's interesting yeah bicentennial that's amazing so fucking funny i have the reverse of that that i was gonna ask you guys about of if there are things that you've forgotten how to do that you shouldn't like you should still know how to do i have uh this is an incredibly stupid one i'm just gonna say like i'm aware this is really dumb i i can no longer sleep

facing right on my right side i used to be someone who would like sleep for a while on my left and then roll over to my right and i can't sleep on my right i cannot get comfortable like i can't find the angle everything feels off like i can't i can't do it somewhere in the last eight months i have lost the knowledge of how to lay on my right side and it has been troubling is it just a comfort thing or are you like putting pressure on a piece of your body that you don't like i think it's all of it like it's it feels awkward in certain parts of my body i don't know how to adjust because I've been isolating with COVID. Like I have this entire king size bed to myself.

I'm like, Oh, maybe if I just shuffle more, but I've learned with the entirety of the bed, I just end up on the other side of the bed. I just keep adjusting. Like I can't figure it out. I don't know how to lay on my right now.

It's gone. And that's the good side to sleep on, right? Because your stomach wants to be tilted on the left. It's not great. I didn't know that. I just know that it's not, I can't get comfy on my right side.

I think I remember reading something like the stomach is, because it's directional, it's better for it to be on one side for comfort. I don't remember. I don't remember what the reason is. That's it. So do you, it's interesting. I sleep, I have the same i have a

problem i have to sleep a certain way too but i have to sleep facing the door like with my back to a wall like i have to sleep facing the threat yeah even it's like a military thing i don't know if it's a military thing or just like a i don't know like maybe it's just like a caveman thing that's you know in me but uh but yeah i always feel like i always think about it i always have to sleep facing so if i like like nobody will be behind me they'd have to go around me to get behind me so i if i sleep and i open my eyes i can see what's in front of me i don't nothing could sneak up on me yeah that's interesting i find that i wake up sometimes having absolutely no idea where i am especially when i tell like i think i'm somewhere else

absolutely of course so so you can easily sleep in a hotel where the door is the other way to your bedroom and you would just switch? Yeah, I do. I think it annoys Emily, but yeah. I always just sleep on the side of the bed closest to the door facing the door, whatever that is.

Interesting. Oh, Nick does it too, he says. It's not something I even like. It's not something I consciously ever decided to do. It's just always been how I do it. What if the door is at your feet? I feel like any direction works at that point. I think that frees them up.

Yeah, as opposed to limiting. I don't know. I think I just don't sleep on my side then. I sleep on my back. I was trying to think of a room where the doors are the feet of the bed but then i remember jeff that time we stayed in that really romantic room in uh san antonio do you remember that yeah we stayed in like a honeymoon suite at a hotel together one night and i slept i slept on the couch on the outside of the amazingly lavish bedroom i slept in the bed yeah and i think that's when we were sending pictures

of each other under the cover we're like two hours we just get some funny pictures to each other oh god that was fun that was fun why do why Why do we stay in that room? I don't remember. I think because... No, I know why. Because it was like my favorite hotel in San Antonio. It's called the Havana Hotel. And we were there for a basketball game or something. And steaks.

And steaks. They had a great steak restaurant. Really good. And a nice green sauce, whatever they put on it. Yeah, like chimichurri sauce. And then they had a really cool basement bar that was like really really fucking cool and I was there one time when the hotel flooded

with sewage and the basement bar started filling up with shit um didn't enjoy the bar the rest of the weekend that time but anyway I got us a two bedroom I got us a two bedroom hotel room so that we could each have our own room and it just turned out that it was a bedroom

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slash ymx benefits vary by card terms apply a uh i've been writing down my morning thoughts again if anybody's interested i'd love to hear your hell yeah i have a few myself okay uh here's what i have in no particular order uh actually i guess maybe they're in a dated order uh the first the first thing i wrote down uh little i don't know what day this was but i woke up and for some reason it's not even a song that i like i i woke up and i thought i need to listen to tragedy by the bgs and i did and i was like this is i don't like the song i don't know why I wanted to listen to this. The next day I woke up and my first thought was, I need a broccoli pouch. I don't know what that means.

I don't even want to invent a broccoli pouch. I don't know where I was going with that. That was just my first thought was, I need a pouch for broccoli. Maybe it's a way to cook broccoli without releasing the stink into the rest of the house. Oh, maybe. That's interesting.

Maybe that's where I was going. Or maybe it could be like a urine thing, you know, like something that cooks things that create the smell of the house. Oh, maybe. That's interesting. That's interesting. Maybe that's where I was going. Or maybe it could be like a urine thing, you know, like something that cooks things that create the smell of broccoli when you piss because you're on that for a while.

That's true. You're deep in the broccoli smell. That's true. The next day, I woke up. I don't know if this counts exactly, but I was having a bad dream where like a,

you know, like the scariest thing to me is the exorcist, like believable religious horror. And I was having one of those kinds of dreams where the devil was real. And I got, I touched something I wasn't supposed to touch and it gave me the devil's diarrhea.

And then I woke up and I realized that I had real, very real diarrhea. And I shit for about an hour straight at four in the morning. What'd you eat? I don't even know. And then the next day I woke up, and I thought, my throat hurts. That was COVID, turns out.

The next day I woke up, and I don't even know what, I don't remember writing this down, and I don't know what it means, but I guess I wrote down, my first thought was, no one hits vegetables anymore. You're really on that vegetable game.

I guess. You had a lot of thoughts. The next day I woke up. What does that mean? I don't know. I don't know. I don't even remember writing it. I don't even remember writing it.

The next day I woke up and my first thought was the killer has white nail polish. So if you're looking for any murderers out there, maybe check for white nail polish. Don't know. That must have been a part of the dream I had. And then the thought I had this morning when I woke up was I should get my

bones stretched. That sounds terrible. I think because I read an article about a model who grew like five inches by getting her bones and her legs stretched I don't want to do that. I'm happy with my height stretch like when that was my very first thought yeah, they like Yeah, no there you go. Those are those are all my first thoughts now when you were casted when when devil's diarrhea Was was thrust upon you did you say step back Satan? I got shit and shades Shades were in

there uh and i didn't feel very cool uh i didn't wear i didn't wear shades at that point either because i wasn't feeling very cool that was just like just horrendous diarrhea it probably was related to covet actually because it was right before i i found out i had it so the devil's diarrhea devil's that is like such a design by hell from you like that is there's nobody if you gave me a list of things of like who came up with this i would always put devil's diarrhea as a jeff that's a jeff creation mine aren't as good as yours sounds like it'd be your hot sauce oh man that man. If F*** Face ever gets into hot sauce, which is apparently a huge market

and a big moneymaker, we should make F*** Face Presents The Devil's Diarrhea. Yeah, I like it. That's going to be our hot sauce. Stick it in the cookbook. Tony! Can we make hot sauce?

I have a good nickname that I woke up with. I don't know where this came from. Kind of food related. I was like, you know what? This person, this is a fucking cool name. I could get behind this name. Not for me. I think it's a cooler name than what I would ever deserve.

But that's a memorable name. Johnny Caviar. Woke up with Johnny Caviar my first day. I don't know where it came from johnny caviar this has been in my head ever since then that's great andrew and it's a great nickname maybe maybe johnny caviar could be like an errol situation for you oh i'm feeling like a little cocky a little lux a little fancy a little gucci yeah johnny caviar comes out we've got all that johnny caviar oh i like it yeah i'm gonna develop johnny caviar a little bit this is great

i think i think that is definitely a direction you should get it you should look into going i'm gonna explore this johnny caviar uh the other morning thought i have is we're being attacked anytime i wake up due to like any noise in the world i i have is we're being attacked anytime i wake up due to like any noise in the world i just assume uh we're being attacked this is the regular that covers most days hopefully you're facing the door yeah i'm panicking instantly it doesn't matter what the noise could be a bird chirping if it wakes me up it's ah like what's who's who's what what is who that's me disoriented and ready to argue or fight with whatever's happening um my third one and this is a dream i do you ever have dreams that like you

wake up and then you go back into it and you have the dream yeah like you continue i had this i thought this was such a genius idea this is such a dumb thing and this was a genius idea my dream to the point where i would wake up and I'd be like, I got to remember this. And I'd remember the name and I'd go back to bed and it would still be in whatever the next dream was. The third idea is Chungle. It's a game called Chungle.

Let me pitch this to you. It's Chungle. C-H-U-N-G-L-E. Now, what it is, is, you know, like an auto-runner type game? You know, like mobile games, like Mario Run? That type of thing? Yeah. It's Mario Run in a jungle with Chungus-y animals in it.

It's a bunch of, like, cute, big Chungus-y animals, and they run around the jungle. And so, it's called Chungle. I was very excited about this i was assigned to make jungle in my dream and i was like this is a great fucking idea i gotta remember i can't forget jungle i gotta get to work on this you just clear a checkpoint it's like that's jungle eric just posted a photo of a very large tiger. Yes, that's the jungle type vibe. Like a bunch of jungle animals. Like a bunch of jungly animals running around,

jumping over logs, swinging on vines. This episode is nuts. This is like a dream of an episode. What is? It's tough to sleep. I think I talked about it before. I've got this bird in my roof. I don't know what it is. It's waking me up constantly.

It's so annoying. It's just on the roof. No, it's living. There's a panel in my building that broke off a while ago and birds have moved into it. And there's one bird in particular that I hear like calling through my vent sometimes. And it wakes me up. Do you think that's where your doorbell button ended up? It could be.

I think we talked about that, that it could have been stolen by one of the birds. It's terrible. I want you to figure out what it is. I've been trying to figure it out. You download that Merlin app for your phone, but it crashes. There's other apps, though, that'll do that. Oh, really?

Yeah, there's other brands you can... I mean, I have recordings of it. I just don't... I haven't been able to use the app because it just crashes oh if you have recordings of it you can send me the recording and then I or if you can play a recording uh no that might not work

why don't you just learn how to do an impression of the bird sort of it's like a type I'm still dealing with COVID here. This is not easy. Yeah, you sound a bit stopped up.

Oh, I'm not good. We recorded last week and I was like, I got it. This is going to be not fun, but it'll be fine. And then everything post then has been awful. Did you get hold of some of them pills that Jeff was talking about? No, I forgot that they existed until yesterday. And I thought that's a real dumb mistake by me. I bought a lot of Gatorade and a lot of Powerade,

and I'm really stupid because I bought Gatorade and Powerade simultaneously, and then Powerade on their label says 50% more electrolytes than the leading sports brand, so I became strictly a Powerade guy because of that. Red Powerade is the best tasting of all the aid drinks they're pretty good it's pretty good best aid drink it's the best aid drink it really is red powerade it's a great regular red powerade yeah yeah i prefer blue a little bit but i wish uh i wish you had gotten

on that paxlovid dude dude, because I had COVID for four fucking days. It was over before it began. That was it? Yeah. Wow. I tested positive on Monday, and I was negative on Friday. Why didn't you drop off the games for me to send to Andrew, then? Well, I want to give myself some

grace, just in case. You know, I don't want to, like... Just because I got two negative tests doesn't mean you know you just want to be safe with your friends i already gave it to gus i don't get you too gus went so long without having it hey i you guys you guys just reminded me i i didn't even think i was going to talk about this but i might as well uh do you guys remember when i had that forty thousand dollar flush and it broke my oh? Oh, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Broke and then it cost... I had this week

the next closest thing to that and it's already fixed and taken care of. I had a light go out in my kitchen where I was just like standing under it and the light just turned off and I checked all the fuses and everything

and the light just wouldn't turn back on. You know how much it costs to fix that light? How much? $13,000. Oh oh my god wait what yeah what wait yeah yeah what do you mean what uh my my the electric in my house uh is ramshackle at best you know my house is is a it's like every house in austin it's a hundred years old and it's cobbled together from like three different houses during three different generations and i knew that i was gonna have to do some pretty significant electric work uh like get the electric from the like like i draw more power from the fucking pole than uh than it can handle and so i have to get the pole like the city

to fucking upgrade oh there's just a bunch of stuff going on and uh when that light failed uh it created a series of cascading problems that had required me to get pretty much all the electrical in my house redone so were they like ripping the walls open and stuff uh only one wall got ripped open most of it was on the outside they had to replace all my all my breakers oh my god yeah and i have three not because i have like a big house or anything i don't but because my house was built like i said like the first part of my house was built like in the 30s and then they built an addition in like the 50s and an addition in the 90s and so they just kept adding breaker boxes and daisy chaining them and it's just a fucking mess and so i got it all fixed this week

uh i was only without power nick for a day so i was without power yesterday actually oh my worked out really great that we were recording today wow got it all fixed though yeah and it was just to fix one light well it the light the light no it was to fix the problem my house wasn't grounded properly like i had to watch these guys fucking hammer eight-foot-long, like, brass spikes into the ground. Grounding rod and shit. Yeah, grounding rods and shit. Like, they had to do so much.

It was basically they had to, like, unfuck a lot of bad, like, home electrician work and then upgrade everything. I didn't have surge protectors anywhere in my house. Like, just, they had to do a bunch. And now I have surge protectors anywhere in my house like just they had to do a bunch and now i have them like in my wall next to my breakers

so it's like a devil's electricity situation yeah yeah yeah and i mean it's it sucks uh it sucks a lot it sucks a whole lot uh because i did not have the money to do it but i feel better that the house is safer now and it's not gonna burn down you know uh because i did not have the money to do it but i feel better that the house is safer now and it's not gonna burn down you know uh because the guy was like how long you been living here and i was like four years and he's like jesus christ man i'm glad you're okay and i was like thanks me too was there no did nothing of that get flagged on the inspection when you bought the place it was flagged that i needed to upgrade some stuff, yeah, but not how dire the situation was.

But I already knew that because I had had an electric guy come out and look about moving some electric to the other... First, some home renovation stuff, and he looked at it and he told me, he was like, I wouldn't touch the electricity in your house for less than $10,000. And I was like, okay, don't touch it, see you later.

You know? And then it became a necessity. in your house for less than $10,000. And I was like, okay, don't touch it. See you later. And then it became a necessity. But anyway, it got fixed in like two days. It was just like two days of work and it decimated my savings and stuff, of course. But my house isn't going to burn down. And so now, I'm fucking

my plumbing and my electric is so fucking on point. And my fridge. Yeah, I was about to say.'m just trying to put in my fridge yeah i was about to say focus on the positive yeah i'm trying to think what's next hvac roof i already know hvac was first i i replaced the hvac my hvac died three weeks after i moved into the house that was the first thing wasn't it yeah yeah that was number one okay so roof next roofs next i think yeah well at least you at least you don't have slime.

Yeah, what's up with the slime? What's going on with the slime? Pretty similar. Pretty, uh, still slimy. Do you have an endgame with the slime? Are you just keeping track of it? I want to see if it starts consuming wildlife. Yeah?

Like, if I see, like, bugs embedded in the slime, I'm going gonna start worrying i think it's a good time to worry i think you should scoop some of it have you have you taken any more process photos no i looked at it well i think it's not changed enough i'll maybe take another picture of it next week and give you an update okay do you have a microscope yeah oh you should take a sample you should take a sample. You should take a sample. Yeah, and look at it under the microscope. Ooh, that's a great idea.

You should wear gloves probably when you do that. Yeah, and don't put it in your mouth. Yeah, look at it with your eyes. Can I put some in a little jar and we'll have it in the museum? What if? Oh, that's a great idea. Stop adding things to the museum! Why can't we constantly add to the museum until the very last minute eric yeah that's how yeah that's what's gonna happen yeah because i have

to deal with it and then it's it's a bunch of people going oh well this wasn't on this list and it's like i don't fucking know i just put it there and then we just have to stick stuff places can we just say and we already had this conversation where i said stop adding stuff to the museum and everyone said, okay. But we didn't know Gavin was growing an alien symbiont. Yeah, and don't end the car to the museum three months before the museum opens. I don't know who you think you're dictating that to,

but certainly it's not me. You think I'm the one who's going, yeah, man, I really want to make this cutoff happen. I don't think the slime should i think the slime in the museum is a bad idea i think it might be too dangerous i'm reversing that yeah i don't it'll be a nice jaw no but somebody's gonna steal the slime from the museum and then it's gonna get mixed with something and then there's gonna be another pandemic that's how that or they're gonna turn into a super villain or it's gonna be like a brain eating amoeba that wipes out a small town

in iowa or yeah i was thinking this about the museum i hope we actually have real security for a supervillain, or it's going to be a brain-eating amoeba that wipes out a small town in Iowa. I was thinking this about the museum. I hope we actually have real security for the museum. We're going to have no scrumping signs. I just don't want this stuff stolen. Do you think... There's no way there's going to be real security. At the museum?

There's got to be. What do you mean? It's a cherished item. There's got to be a bored grad student sitting on a plastic chair somewhere playing on their phone. Define security. They're cherished items, is what Gavin said,

and it's a fight. Yeah, I want to put slime in it. Yeah, but I look at the Thrice to Meet You. I'm looking at it right now. I love that thing. I love it. I want to keep it. I want insurance on my Thrice to beat you you got it i'll get a lloyds of london insurance policy on all this stuff

it would it would be a real insult to the tuxedo if the thrice to meet you gets stolen when the tuxedo is left behind like this grand heist happens. I do agree with that. I absolutely agree with that. Somebody steals the slime, but the tuxedo is untouched. I want to keep this stuff or it needs to be auctioned for charity, but I don't want it stolen. Wouldn't it be cool if we could eventually auction off

some of our museum items for more than the tuxedo sold? We have, I think, technically. Have we? I think the fuck hats have gone for more than the tuxedo did that's great i think we've already surpassed that i was talking about it today with someone and explaining that the value of a don zimmer card has shot up exponentially because of the show yes it's insane it's insane that that happened i think it was a subreddit post where somebody went to like a

charity like a thrift store type thing and they were selling the don zimmer card for ten dollars and the person asked about it and they said that uh they were set at that price because the person looked on ebay and that's what the value was at that time like we've shifted the market even within that store which is so funny i wonder what what the Don Zimmer card market is now. You think it's going to be lower than it was? The way it always works with card collecting, because there's no like, when I was a kid,

there was the Beckett card guide, right? And that was like the definitive way you looked it up. And it still exists, but nobody pays attention to it. Now you just, it's like whatever the most expensive it ever sold for on eBay is now what everybody considers to be the price.

So because Don Zimmer cards sold for 10 and 15 and 15 and 20 they will forever be considered at that price that's so funny you know how a few episodes ago we were talking about william hartnell the first doctor and how he's uh younger than brad pitt when he was the doctor and all that stuff yeah yes in a similar vein to like people being old and stuff. I was, I was watching, uh, the Godfather 2 last night or G2 as TPG would call it. And I thought, I thought it'd be fun to go back in time to Robert De Niro here and let him know that he'll have a baby in 50 years. And how just weird and messed up that is. Like right there, he's 50 years from having a baby. Have you seen the internet discourse the last week of who's hotter?

Like, Peak De Niro or Peak Pacino? Have you seen this at all? How do you, where do you weigh in on that, by the way, Eric? It's been all over the internet. Twitter, I guess, but like, you could weigh in here. Who do you think it is? I mean, I've looked at the photos, and it's pretty clear to me that it's Pacino, but they're both good-looking dudes. I would say

Pacino. Interesting. Yeah, I would agree with that. There's also a scene in Godfather 2 where De Niro is holding Pacino's character as a baby, and I think it'd be cool if they recreated that in real life like just got al pacino to lie down in in robert deniro's lap and like he was like i think that'd be a really

nice what's what's great about the the work in the legacy of pacino and deniro is that they're not above that that could happen you just need enough money you just need that to be in a sandler script and you're set. That could happen. Man, there was a character on Survivor this week that did a Pacino, or last week that did a Robert De Niro impression and it made me not like Robert De Niro. Oh.

That's the problem with De Niro. When people do a bad De Niro impression, it makes you dislike De Niro, even though it's not his fault. And I know people do bad Al Pacino impressions too, but I feel like they're not nearly as common. No. I mean, in that movie, De Niro's doing a Marlon Brando impression, really. Yeah.

That's true. I, for some reason, like, I look at young De Niro in that picture, compared to the older one below, and I see the same person. I cannot see young Al Pacino in old Al Pacino. Really? No, I... I just don't see the resemblance. I totally agree with you, dude.

A hundred percent. Like Godfather 1 Pacino doesn't look like that guy. Yeah. That's the poll result with 277,000 votes. Wow. It's 50-50. Yep. Yeah, like that's not the same guy. Does not look like him at all.50. Yep. Yeah, like, that's not the same guy.

Does not look like him at all, but... Like... Same guy. De Niro looks like De Niro. Yeah. Yeah. Al Pacino looks like a beetle in that photo. Uh-huh.

He does look like a piece of hair. Yeah. His little turtleneck. That's so funny. Yeah. I'm fucking... I'm just so dumb. You you told me you told me a thing to take for what i have and i instead ordered six more bottles of gatorade was my response and didn't even look up what you suggested i mean you get it there maybe i don't know i should look i'm already i'm like at the tail end of it so it feels like it would be pointless at this stage but maybe maybe I should could I um share something that made me

made me really laugh the other day that I discovered um we are a cosmic crisp podcast I feel like there's maybe a time in which I thought oh it'd be fun to like find another like apple or something or maybe like a free agency period. I don't think we can do that now. Cosmic Crisp is incredibly loyal to us. I accidentally logged into our Twitter account the other day and I saw that we were tagged in a post. Let me put it in chat right now. This is what Cosmic Crisp tweeted a few days ago. Let's settle this at face pod debate. Oh, my Lord. Are you a horizontal biter?

Biter? Jesus Christ. Are you a horizontal biter or a vertical biter? I thought that's funny. That's fucking crazy that they tagged the show. That's great. And we didn't reply. We didn't reply. We're stuck at social media. But I looked at it. I just thought, oh show that's great and we didn't reply we didn't reply we're

stuck at social media but i looked at it i just thought oh that's really funny and then a few days passed and i i thought about am i vertical or horizontal i think it depends i didn't remember the conversation and then i remembered we went through a whole like vertical wiping phase discussion debate and i'm assuming that the bike conversation happened. I don't know if any of you guys remember having that conversation. I don't. The vertical wiping conversation? No, the biting. Vertical biting. I remember the wiping but I don't remember us ever having a debate about

vertical biting. I don't know that it was a debate but I feel like it was definitely brought up. Yeah. I feel like it was brought up because I remember talking about the way to eat an apple and then I have a friend who will eat like the entire apple. So I think it was brought up because i remember talking about the way to eat an apple and then i have a friend who ate who'll eat like the entire apple so i think it was brought up i think i'm vertical because i want to hook my top teeth over the sort of the top ridge by the stem that's crazy i think it's more complicated yeah i think my first bite is vertical and then i turn the apple

sideways and go go horizontal all the way around. Huh? I think it like a vertical entry bite, like right on the fat part, like as the hump is coming up and then you just turn it sideways and then you just eat it like a cartoon. So they posted that. I thought that was really funny. And then like a few days passed, I thought, oh, wait, is that a reference to the vertical wiping thing? Is this is fucking crazy that this Apple company is making a reference to the vertical wiping thing is this is fucking crazy that this apple company is making a reference to that and so i pulled up the tweet again and then i saw oh there's

eight comments let me go through those oh no and uh there were comments that were uh like uh the account you're highlighting is a bit sketchy uh there's one person another person said um how about not engaging with an account whose name as an embedded obscenity and he's like oh this is fucking great these are people every single person that replied does not follow the podcast account these are all just cosmic crisp people that are have like had this thrusted into their feed and they're not reacting to it they just follow a nice like like, gentle Apple account. That is, hey, what's up, face?

How can you be, how can you consider yourself a Cosmic Crisp person and not be intimately aware with the world's biggest Cosmic Crisp fan fucking podcast? I call bullshit on those idiots. They're not real Cosmic Crisp fans. I love that they directly tagged our account. The person running that is not scared. No, not at all. And there are people applying. And I thought, when I initially

saw some of the negative feedback, I was like, our name is censored. You guys are being ridiculous. And then I realized our handle isn't. They just posted a f*** face unedited on their primary feed. And if you notice, it's their pin tweet. It's the top tweet.

Whenever you go to their account right now, it is the first thing you see. It's just face. I checked again today for it. Yeah, it's great. I checked again just to see if there are any responses or if they got rid of the tweet. And they've doubled down. They pretend they're ride or die with the show. They will protect this show.

Their podcast name is a reference to a famous baseball card that thematically fits our show, which is about friendship and embracing foolish moments we all sometimes have. They're also big Cosmic Chris fans. Legend! Legend. That's a legend

regarding that account. I don't know who it is. I just, I fucking love that like our closest like friend outside of the show is an Apple manufacturer

of all the things. Manufacturer. Dude, they've been true blue to us. Andrew, you got to get in there and respond and let them know

what the official face response is. I'm a little bit worried to do that. Do you think we should for RTX just hand out some Cosmic Crisps to attendees? Yes. and let them know what the official response is. I'm a little bit worried to do that. Do you think we should, um, for RTX, just hand out some cosmic crisps to,

uh, attendees? Yes. Eric, what do you think of this idea? How about we add it? Oh, I don't know who we is in this situation,

so I'm just not weighing in. That is true. You're saying we, and half of this is, I'll let you guys figure out if we're going to do that. We to Gavin means Eric and I. Yeah. We, we, Eric and I. Yeah. We the company.

Cosmic Crisp Apple. Oh, it's a different Nick was sharing one of the podcasts have covered it. And we definitely have had the most coverage of it by far. It's a great apple. Yeah. I mean, we've dude, we've we're ride or die for Cosmic Crisp. 100%.

Yeah. When we're not accidentally eating pink ladies. I haven't had a pink lady since at least to my knowledge i wonder if anybody has ever gone to the grocery store and then just switched apples around so you think you're getting the pink lady but you're getting a like a crisp delicious or whatever oh that's horrible that'd be that'd be a terrible thing. Hey, don't do that. Don't be an Apple switcher. As someone who works fruit and veg, that

sent a tingle up my spine. Don't do Apple tricks. Apple tricks. The people have seen Stuart, by the way. Yeah, they have. He's a big hit. Great response to Stuart. A lot of people uh complaining about you know what you don't see in any of those clips is after we stop filming i go back and have to reset

everything i did i talked about that last time but yeah i did work in a supermarket and i did feel too guilty leave even though it was a french supermarket i felt too guilty leaving it in that state maybe someday in the future we can show the audience videos of johnny caviar oh there is johnny caviar is brewing okay he's got stuff cooking i would be so happy if instead of andrew johnny caviar shows up for my wedding oh god i'm imagining johnny caviar being like the host of a talent show like he's the one like introducing all the acts little spotlight it is big big time host name yeah absolutely um we do need to wrap up oh right more to do um but i did want to send this quickly uh

this is from 51 minutes ago at this point who won the mall draft and gavin is in the lead so i think that youtube we just kind of have to like throw out gavin definitely didn't win yeah i'll be honest i i don't agree with that i was taking the piss mostly uh one of them one of them i pivoted to to staples because everyone was saying Staples so much and the other one I picked an escalator. I'd go as far as saying that this puts Crack Rock under review once again. No, no, no. I stand by Crack Rock.

Ridiculous. Look at this YouTube one. That's on YouTube you said? Look at Andrew's score. They don't know he's Zellers. All-time low. They don't know Zellers. They don't respect Zellers.

I think the other places are a little bit more on the up and up. I feel YouTube is a vindictive place. I love these drafts. We do need to wrap up. We do need to wrap up. Yeah. Yeah. Let's go ahead and put this thing out of its misery

and put a bullet right in its head so that it can be reborn next week as another funny podcast that you guys will love that we can then kill again and then complete the cycle forever. I'm going to leave you guys with a little bit of a, with something to think about. A little life hack, if you will.

This comes in from my fiance who A little life hack, if you will. This comes in from my fiance who invented this life hack last week. If you are ever in desire of drinking an ice cold soda

and you don't want it to be slippery and you don't have a koozie readily available, my fiance figured out that you can use a rubber band around your soda

and it works just as well. There you go. Like a a rubber band around your soda and it works just as well. There you go. A thick rubber band around your soda. It won't slip out of your hands. You can grip it really well. It's still cold. It doesn't take the freezy temperatures away.

Nothing will do that except for a koozie. It will keep it from slipping out of your hands. There you go. Extra small koozie. Rubber bands as a koozie. And go ahead and tell everybody you've ever met about the F*** Face podcast. As a matter of fact, back a long time ago, fans of the Howard Stern Show, they would stand outside of the busy street corners with giant sandwich boards saying,

listen to the Howard Stern Show. And I'm not of the busy street corners with giant sandwich boards saying, listen to the Howard Stern Show. And I'm not saying you should do that. He gets enough publicity, but, you know, something to consider. We'll see you next time. Hey, guys.

Major League Fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face. The guys are running behind again on recording, so here's some guesses for next week's episode.

It's the official back off. Pantin has had it with Cosmic Crisp. Jeff applied at the mall. Gavin debuts another alter ego. The boys solved the debt limit crisis. And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face.