Regulation Podcast - Gum Was a Much Bigger Deal // Have Either of You Ever Been in a Pyramid Scheme [20]

Episode Date: October 14, 2020

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about not being a baseball podcast, Chael Sonnen, Garfield times getting beat, and more. Buy the red F**k hat shirt: http://bit.ly/RedFshirt. On World Mental Health Day our Discord started a raffle supporting Centre for Addiction and Mental Health. Every $10 donated enters you into a draw for this hat. To enter follow this: 1. Donate https://bit.ly/2GVbUdv 2. Screenshot the donation 3. Email it to [e-mail] with your Twitter handle Ends October 18 Sponsored by ExpressVPN (http://expressvpn.com/face) and Tushy (http://hellotushy.com/face). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Gavin's here one minute early. That's a little inconvenient of him. Pretty inconvenient. Little inconsiderate. Who's Tate to the top? It was a whole thing. It was a whole thing. You missed it.

You had to be there. It was very funny. That being said, Gavin, Andrew and I came up with an idea that's going to be a bit some point in the future of F*** Face, and I don't know that we'll tell you about it, but know that there's a very funny bit coming sometime in the next three years. Holy shit. I can't wait, Jeff. That's your reaction?

I can't wait with everything that's happened on this show. I'm excited. Oh, I should. Oh, oh. I'm not saying it's bad. on this show i'm excited oh i should oh oh i'm not saying it's bad i'm just saying like you and i have different reactions to unexpected bits or or things that we know might be coming but but aren't i just feel like it can't be worse than anything else what does that mean what's your bar what's the bar for anything else well i don't know look at look at the look at the world

okay no that's fair in that context you're right're right. It's not going to be that bad. Man, Gav. Now that Boston has left the NBA playoffs and they cease to exist until the new season starts in January or whenever, I realize I can't talk to Andrew anymore. Because you disagree? No, we're going to have to go back to no communication. I texted him last night and

I had something I wanted to say to him. And I couldn't remember what it was. And I texted him and I was like, hey dude, you around? And then I checked back like 10 minutes later and I had forgotten what I was going to say. And I was like, oh, never mind. I can't remember what I was going to say. And then he was like, is this a bit? Are you doing a bit? And I was like, I don't think so. I can't remember what I was going to say. So I guess it could have been a bit, but I don't think I'm certainly not doing a bit now, but he doesn't, he wouldn't believe me. And then I was confused as to whether he was doing a bit.

And now it's just like, I just got to wash my hands of the whole thing. Wait, are you saying that in order to start a text conversation with someone, you don't just type the thing you say, hello? Like, are you there first? No, no, he, no, you didn't do, he meant it was something specific to the show, which then made me suspicious later. It was, I don't remember what the exact wording was, but it was a question in regards to today. Well, all right.

I'm just going to pull it up because I think it was like you ready for tomorrow or something. And I didn't. I was like, yeah, of course. Oh, yeah, yeah. I texted him. I said, hey, are you ready to record tomorrow? And he said, of course, it's my favorite part of the week. I love you.

You're my favorite person on Earth. Please don't tell Gavin. Some of that is true. While I'm not myself attracted to men, I do find you very attractive, which I thought was a strange thing for him to say. But I was like, cool, man. Appreciate it. I think you're great, too.

And he said, no, no, I mean it. I really mean it. You're sexy. And I said, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I said, anyway, sorry, I forgot what I asked you. And I was like, that's lame. I asked you. I was going to I hit you up like 90 seconds ago

to ask you a question. I can't believe I forgot already. And then he then he lost his mind. I don't think I lost my mind. I just I was I brought up a level of concern. It's very odd to forget something 90 seconds later that is so specific. Like you had no clue or you appeared to at least have no clue, which makes no sense. I really don't. I really don't. It's a 45. My brain years are behind me. Although I will say I'm pretty jazzed about my idea to make little baseball bats that say **** face on them. That's a bad idea.

It's the best idea ever. Why? Why would we do that? The cute little baseball bats that you get at the game. And then on the bottom, they say **** face instead of with our logo. Do you realize that this isn't actually a baseball podcast? face instead of with our logo do you realize that this isn't actually a baseball podcast yeah but it's called face because of a billy ripken face baseball bat it's maybe like one percent baseball it's 99 not baseball yeah but that's a great gift yeah you want to sell

baseball cards baseball baseball bats a jersey i don't care about a jersey who said jersey i don't know i'm just adding listen if you want to sell a jersey i think it's a great idea we'll sell a jersey again i think little tiny baseball bats with the poop face logo on the bottom where billy ripken row face would be they would be a delight we make a hundred of them we'll sell them it'll become a great thing i think andrew's afraid people are gonna beat him to death with him yeah i was gonna say i've never seen someone pitch something So excitedly that would arm the audience it just Idea I don't know why we do it. Did you intro this by the way before I go here? Oh, no, we didn't we I don't think somebody sent me a whole thing about how I was wrong about the no punting thing

So maybe I need to adjust my position on interest. What was the no punting thing? I said that always punt the reversal what I just said is what I meant, that you should always punt. But I guess that's flawed data based on high school games. So I don't know. Does that actually apply to whether we need an intro or not, though? My point was that people do things because it's the standard and not because it makes sense on occasion. I understand your point.

It's like the granny shot. It's a way better free throw. Statistically, and just the physics of the granny shot make way more sense it has a higher probability of going in but nobody does it because it looks dumb yeah because athletes still want to get laid at the end of the day that's the problem my point is that there's a better way to do a thing that people don't do because it's the standard is to shoot the other way what's the coolest thing you've done? When I was 27, I... Yeah, I was about 26 or 27. I started a global phenomenon new media production company.

That's pretty cool. When I was like seven, I won a bunch of tickets in an arcade, and I got banned from the arcade. It was great. Wow, really? You won them legitimately? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Like, well, sort of. I kind of they had this one machine where you'd like put the token and it would go down a ramp. And depending on where it landed on the ramp, you'd get a certain number of tickets. And I realized if you tilted it a certain way, you would always get 150 tickets. So that's all I did. I just killed them on this ramp game. And then they had this claw machine where you could like go in and pick up these massive

like stacks of tickets. Nobody had ever won it before. I'm the first person to have ever won anything from that machine. And they didn't know what to do with me. I got like an alarm clock. I got six board games. I cleaned them out. That's awesome.

I may have told this on the Rooster Teeth podcast years ago, but I think the coolest thing I've ever done still to this day, I was about 16 or something. I was in Tenerife, one of the Canary Islands, and a bunch of sort of holiday friends and I were all together. And I was just kind of sat on a rock and a few of them were trying to throw a stone into this tiny hole, like way up on the side of the cliff. We were like down on a beach and there's like a hole in the cliff up above. And they were honestly trying to throw a stone into this hole for about maybe two and a half three hours and people were like winging the side not really no one was really close and uh there was this plastic chair that was someone had smashed to pieces and i just strolled up after like almost three hours to be like oh i'm

sick of this i'm just gonna throw a stone in this and be done with it i put a stone like in the plastic leg of the chair like in the channel and i did like a 360 spin and did like a high lie whip with this stone and it shot hundreds of feet straight into this hole and to this day i don't think i've ever been so impressive i think the moral of the story is gavin and are way cooler no totally the only other thing i could say is uh time I bought a, when I was a kid, gum was a bigger deal when I was a kid. Like all the gum now, dudes and ladies, people my age will agree with me. In the 80s, gum was a much bigger deal. Like Big League Chew, Hubba Bubba, Bubble Yum, Bubblicious.

It was always on TV. They were wild. There was always like mango strawberries and banana cherry and there were all these crazy flavors. Now it's just like

fucking some flavor experiment or cinnamon to make you fucking breath feel better or whatever. But there's a pizzazz. The golden era of gum as a kid is over you i defy

you to go buy like a six pack of hubba bubba with wacky flavors now you can't do it you can't go by root beer flavored bubble bubblicious when i was a kid that shit was the shit so one time i bought a pack of hubba bubba and uh it was like a national do you guys know uh Do you guys know what the GoBots are? No. By name, I do. Okay. Do you know what Transformers are? Yeah.

Yes. GoBots were the competitor to Transformers in the 80s. They had a cartoon. It was very popular. It was shitty. It wasn't as good as Transformers. It was like the poor man's Transformers, right? But they had some cool shit.

Anyway, so there was like a GoBots competition where you could like enter in in the hubba bubba. And then if you win i don't know you win some go bots or some shit and i won first place i entered in and i won first place in the hubba bubba go bots thing was it just like a submission yeah and i got a free like four months later in the mail i got a free go bot how much is a go bot worth oh i don't think it was worth a lot um like 10 bucks i don't know okay it was a big deal to me it was the only thing i ever won that was the coolest thing you did that's probably the coolest thing coolest thing i've ever i was kidding about the roostie thing roostie is one of the nerdier things i've ever done also you didn't you didn't really just stroll

up and start roostie it was like more of a years-long process It'd be funny if you could stand in front of a girl and be like, watch this. And then you start a company. It's like, it's like an animal crossing. When you go to the DIY bench, like here's an employee company.

I think maybe I told this story on an RT podcast years ago, but when I lived in Jacksonville, Florida, I was maybe 10. All the kids in the summer would meet in the, like at this one kid's house and we would all go ride bikes or throw rocks at each other or whatever. They're two kind of different things there. Yeah.

Well, you didn't grow up in Florida in the eighties. Back when gum was cool. Back when gum was fucking cool. So one day I went over and all the kids were already there and they had this, we had this huge, like six, maybe seven foot tall quarter pipe that one of the kids' older brothers made. And they would like, it was too big for us to skateboard on because we were fucking shitty. Or too big to drop in on.

We would skateboard on it, but not drop in on it. Anyway, all the kids were standing around and on their bikes. And I go, hey, what are you guys doing? And they go, oh, we all just jumped this ramp. And I went, on what? And they're like, on our bikes. And I was like, but it's got like a foot of Hey, what are you guys doing? And they go, Oh, we all just jumped this ramp. And I went, Oh, what? And they're like on our bikes. And I was like, but it's got like a foot of vert.

How did you do it? And they're like, we went down the industry and got going really fast and did it. And I was like, wow, sorry. I missed that. And they're like,

yeah, you really did miss it. It was really cool. And we're all really cool. And, and, uh, you're a pussy if you don't do it.

And I was like, you know, use the parlance of the eighties. And I go, excuse me. And they're like, yeah, every one of us, they're like, even fucking that kid did it. I don't even remember who that kid was, but, and, uh, and I was like, oh, and they're like, yeah, you're, you're like, basically you can't hang out with us if you don't do it. You're like, cause we're all in the club now and you're not cool until unless you do it.

Did you pull Andrew and you're like, I did it. I already did it. No, I was like, I was like, like, fucking feeling the vice grip of peer pressure. And I was like, okay, I guess I'll do it. How far back should I go on my bike? And they're like, it takes a lot. Go down the end of the street. So I went all the way down to the end of the street, which was, by the way, my house.

My house was at the end of the street. And I turned around and I rode my bike and I thought, this is not a good idea, but what choice do I have? I won't have any friends if I don't do this. Like the whole neighborhood did it. I'll be the only kid in the neighborhood who didn't jump the ramp. The sweet old lady next door. She's already done it. Yeah. She's already done it. Yeah. And so I got him a little BMX and I pedaled my ass off and I went as far as I could at this thing. And I just, I'll be honest with you. I, I, I closed my

eyes and I hit the ramp and my eyes squeezed entirely like super shut. And I hit this like seven foot tall quarter pipe. And I felt the sensation of being in the air and my stomach dropping. And then I heard kabam, kabam. And I opened my eyes and there was nothing but smoke and white around me. And I swear to God, I thought, oh no, I died. Now I'm in heaven. Because I just saw white clouds and all I could see was white clouds.

And for like four seconds, I was like, I'm dead. The ramp killed me and I'm in heaven. And I'm looking around like, what the fuck? I'm dead.

I'm in, like, is this purgatory? Like, where do I go? And the smoke cleared away and I realized what happened was

I launched so high and so far into the air and I came up, I basically, I smoke cleared away and I realized uh what happened was I launched so high and so far into the air and I came up I basically I leveled out and then I came straight down seven feet popped both of my tires which created both of them both front and back tire just exploded there was tons of like just fucking debris and smoke I guess from that I don't know and like dust from it being Florida and I just assumed that I had died because my eyes from that. I don't know. And like dust from it being Florida. And I just assumed that I had died because my eyes were closed and I didn't see what happened. And all the kids had their fucking jaws open. And I was like, am I alive? The coolest thing to say. And they're like, oh, my God. And I'm like, what? And they're like, I can't believe you did it. And I'm like, well,

of course I did it. You guys did it. I didn't have a choice. And they're like, no, no, no. We were all too scared to do it. Nobody would do it. We just thought we could trick you into doing it and i was like oh and then for that summer i was the coolest kid on the street i mean that is the best outcome for them like they watched you just right away from them and then there was an explosion yeah and then i didn't have a bike for like uh a month because i had because i didn't have tires i had to get my mom to take me to the store and she was not about it. I like that for once you were really popular, but you couldn't go and hang out with them

because your bike was gone. Yeah, because my bike was useless. That same fucking bike one time I was riding it and the day I got a Walkman for my birthday, I got my first Walkman and my first tape. The tape was John Cougar, American Fool. And so I was listening to Jack and Diane and riding my bike,

going as fast as I could with my headphones on. And the handlebars came off and I fell forward and drove over myself and smashed the day I got it on my birthday, smashed my Walkman. Same bike. I appreciate that all three of our coolest moment stories are essentially an accident. It was a thing. Oh, yeah. We didn't mean to pull off, but it happened. There's no skill involved. Just gullibility and luck. Yes, the most important of things. Wherever you're going, you better believe American Express will be right there with you. Heading for adventure?

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So, uh, what's new in y'all's week, uh, since last we spoke? I, uh, made a NFL bet, like, two weeks ago. That was almost the worst thing. This is your big financial calamity, right? Yeah. It wasn't a calam- oh, okay. So, there's this football pool I play in sometimes, and you have to guess

who will win the games. And if you get every game right, you win whatever the pool is. Is this why you were crying the other day? Yes. Yes, it was. Okay. And so I thought, oh, I'll go in this right now. Whatever.

It's 2 a.m. I'll just make a card. It's like a $95,000 pool, which is way more than what it typically is. I'll enter this. I feel really good. I thought about my picks. I made my card, submitted it, and then I was showing it to Eric the next day. And when I was showing it to Eric, I realized I picked the opposite of what I wanted on

one of the spaces. And it was like the worst team, the worst team in that area. Like it was by far the biggest underdog pick I can make. So my card was essentially useless but then i was in this dilemma of well do i buy a new card just to be wrong because i'm almost certainly not going to win this or do i just live with it whatever what are the odds that i get the card right except for that one pick and then as the games progressed every single miracle and football happened that weekend, and it kept making my card win. It's the only time I never win ever,

but every time, I was unstoppable. I was on a winning streak, every game was turning my way, onside kicks getting recovered, that never happens, just crazy comebacks. It was ridiculous, but every time they won, it just hurt more. It's the only time in my life where winning was extremely painful

with every game. And it came down to the final game, which was the Raiders versus the Saints. And the Saints were projected to blow out the Raiders, but they lost. And so I didn't have to live with the fact that I would have lost whatever money that card would win. What would it have won you? Turns out it was only like a thousand dollars. Oh, OK. Eight hundred, maybe like it wasn't life changing money, but I didn't know that at the time so that many other people got it right too yeah i think like 70 people got it right under the assumption the raiders would win which is was rare so you'd have to think it'd probably

be like doubled what they won if the saints won so even less but yeah it was just miserable i've never been so happy to be a loser. Like I was just cheering nonstop that the bet I made completely failed. It's the happiest I've been. I don't know if I could have watched football if the Saints wouldn't have won that game. What would you have done if it was like you were going to get the entire pool

and you lost because of that error? What if you lost like 90 grand? I would have just, I would have, I don't know what I would have done. I would have walked the streets aimlessly. I probably would have cried in a McDonald's at one point. There'd be a lot of soul searching. I don't think I could watch football ever again.

I would be a changed person. You'd wipe the tears away with your favorite carrot muffin. I feel like that we need to prevent this kind of thing from happening at all costs, because the more damaged you get as a person, Andrew, the more dangerous you become to everyone else. Yeah. So it's really good for all of us that... I think it's actually reverse.

I don't want to do anything if I'm sad. I think the happier I am, the more I want to fuck with everybody. I think it's flipped. Andrew, you made me sad for the first time on F*** Face. I got bummed out. Yeah, me too. Why is that a sad thing? That was just so real,

wasn't it? Yeah, it's real. I wonder what you mean. Andrew, I wish I could hug you right now. I didn't know that was a sad thing. That was really sad. No, I'm saying that I get joy in doing pranks and messing with people. So if I was miserable, I wouldn't have that joy. So why would I do those things?

Yeah, I just was imagining you just completely without purpose crying in a McDonald's that may or may not have had a basement like a nerdy little Lex Luthor no that was I apologize that was meant to be sad thing Apologize for being sad I didn't think that was a sad thing I feel like reverse I feel like if anything that was supposed to be like I'm an asshole because I enjoy Messing with you guys well maybe in that case you can put a disclaimer on the front of this episode. Be like, look, guys, I'm a prick. I'm an asshole.

That's a great idea, actually. Waluigi is my god. I worship him. That was an interesting back away from the heel roll that you took, I feel like. Yeah, yeah. What do you mean? You were doing a good job of being a heel.

Yeah, but I don't know. I mean, it's complicated. I had honestly never heard the word gaslighting before until after that came out i just thought it was i was so wrong like to be so clearly in the wrong and to deny it was so absurd that it was funny but i'd never heard of gaslighting or any of that stuff and i think it weirdly tapped into like political feelings people have which is yeah the sad statement of what's happening in politics but yeah no I just said I had a blind spot for that I didn't realize until you show me the clip that it was based on that UFC guy that you said was just denying his own

voice yeah it was a dumb joke like is it a UFC reference from 2010 that nobody remembers this person said a horrible statement that Lance Armstrong gave himself cancer by taking steroids. And then he was called on it, and he refused that he ever said it. And then he went on a radio show, and the person said, well, we have the clip. We'd like to play you the clip. Could you respond to this? And they play it, and it is so clearly him. Like, it's undeniably him.

It is. And as soon as they go back to him he says that sounds nothing like me you need to get the callers in here not a single one of them will think that that is my voice that person sounds like they're a different ethnicity that's not me at all he was like no definitely not me no that's clearly like a hispanic voice and it's just exactly the same voice that's currently talking who was that that did it shale sonnen is like a massive troll In MMA, but the absurdity of the denial. I always thought was hilarious So when Gavin presented me the audio, which is so clearly me. It's just where my brain immediately went

It was very funny. How about you Gavin you drop any water bottles or anything this week? No I'm still wearing the shorts. I realized that I smashed the spare button. So all good on the shorts front. Oh, that's nice. Thanks for asking though. Yeah. Similarly, I've had a very faceless week. I even did the root canal.

It was fine. No pain, no nothing. It's great. So you're all sorted now? No, I got to go back. I got to go back in three weeks to get my crown put on. I still have like a temporary tooth over the root canal. I expect it to be eight weeks long.

I don't remember every procedure you said, but when you explained to us in the past what you needed done, it felt like at least eight weeks of continuous work. Yeah, well, by the time I get it on, it'll be like a three-month ordeal from start to finish, I think. I just realized when I brought up earlier whether or not we'd done the intro, like 15 minutes into the episode, it didn't even cause the intro to happen there.

No. No, I give up fighting. Andrew beat me down. But he said he was wrong. Yeah, I agree. I was saying that I shouldn't have done that, that I was wrong about the intro. I agree you were wrong about it,

but you beat it out of me now. It's up to you. If you guys want to do an intro, go ahead. I mean, there's no point in that word. Well, I agree. What's the point? Jeff, did you cycle through a face intersection this week? What'd you call that thing

where the ghost laid you down? Oh, the gentle? I got haunted by a gentle ghost? Is that what you're talking about? Yeah, on the bike. Oh, did I go through that intersection? Yeah, I went through this morning. Any supernatural activity? Nothing. Not a goddamn thing. I even rode by your house the other two days ago okay seemed fine okay i didn't stop by or anything

uh just wanted to mention i you you appear to still live there congratulations i do uh yeah no i've i've been through that intersection a ton of times since then probably oh i don't know 12 times since that last recording nothing no i i have a I think to talk about I forgot about this okay I was wrong. I need to admit. I was wrong about oh god. We had our big fruit bag Conversation yesterday or not yesterday last episode Jesus nice today fruit bag We had an argument about is it a container is it not a container and I tweeted it out And I said there's zero chance a single person calls this the container and and someone did. You were right. I was wrong. Gav. Gav.

What do we do? Wait. Andrew, what do you think has happened here? I don't know. This is alarming, though. I don't like this. What happened? Tell them, Jeff.

Well, it's possible that we posted the image on the Instagram account, and in the comments, Gavin might have, with some leading comments, encouraged people to use, to put those words together. Didn't you as well? It's possible I did as well, but we're not talking about me.

We're talking about you. It's possible I did it first. Let me find the post while you tell it. So now I can't confirm that they got the word container in their head because it's once again possible I said fruit container and it's possible Gavin said container. We don't know

for sure that that person read that and then transpose that over to you. But you know the timeline adds up pretty well. So the image was posted. Jeff immediately commented. It's probably the second comment.

Looks like some sort of fruit container to me i i was like the fifth comment and i wrote well it's containing the fruit fruit container and then i think that has then spread onto twitter and then you screenshot the twitter thing and you're like well i'll be damned i will say i did press this person on why they said container. And if they got it from YouTube, they did not break. Wow. I'm impressed. That's great. I asked what region they were from because I thought maybe this is a weird regional thing.

And what made them say that? And it just it felt like they were just trying to make a joke. But if they got it from YouTube, they did not indicate that in any way. On a similar line, did you see what Jeff found in his book? That's true. I texted you guys a picture today from the book I'm reading, the new Robert Galbraith book. Oh, I changed my number. So I didn't see that.

Why? Are you fucking serious? Yeah, I changed my number. I don't know where that went. Why didn't you tell us? I probably should have. So you've got multiple numbers, multiple slacks, multiple emails. How do we ever know if you're seeing anything we write?

I only have like one real phone number. I just, I changed it recently. And, uh. So the number I text you all the time isn't you anymore? Oh, no. No. Hey, Andrew. Does that mean you missed the last couple of farts as well?

What farts? Oh, I'm trying to find out. I'm scrolling back to see when was the last time Andrew responded from this number. Oh, no. It's been a little bit. You've done it again. I didn't. You know, actually, I thought about yesterday.

Should I text them that I changed my number? And I said, yes. Much like the intro. I was like, yeah, it's a good idea that I just kept on moving. Moved on right by that thought. August. End of August. Yeah, it's been

like a week, maybe. It hasn't been that long. The last thing you said was my legal defense discord is like if the Farrelly brothers tried to write a John Grisham novel. Yeah, that's factually correct. I texted to Gavin and the person that got your number. Am I still

I'm in the conference. Here. An excerpt from a book i'm reading wait can you find andrew is it in our group chat yeah i'm just gonna test if not i can paste it into the discord and you can and you can read wait did a new number just get added no oh i'm still in here this is weird it's like i'm in my own thing now but it still shows i got a new one now oh so this is now you this is now me okay, so Jeff, send him the picture on that one. Anyway, it's a page from the new Robert Galbraith novel, Troubled Blood, which is

supposedly a little controversial, a little problematic, but I haven't gotten to that part yet. Robin Ellicott is referring to spending the night in a hotel. She wasn't planning on it, so all she had with her was her backpack, so she didn't have stuff like her toothbrush and whatnot, so she feels a little dirty. I'm just setting some... You want some color to this. So she said her backpack contained she didn't have stuff like her toothbrush and whatnot so she feels a little dirty i'm not setting some some uh you want some color to this so she said her backpack contained

only what items she carried on her surveillance job item number one a beanie hat i said i was willing to to admit i was wrong on that i just i feel like all hats have a hard brim of some kind maybe this is the proof that i am definitely wrong. I was less confident about that one. I was more, I feel very strongly a container has a lid, but the beanie not being a hat, I'm less, I'm less serious about. What's a bag with a lid then? It's not,

what do you mean? What is a bag? Have you ever seen a bag with a lid? You're talking about a seal. No, imagine like one of those plastic tubs you get, like a small crate with a lid, right?

Imagine you got, you got the lid, you got got the rim and then everything below that is a bag what's that that doesn't exist what are you talking about it's not a thing but what would it be it would be a container because it's it's has a lid okay so that's that's what qualifies it all right so andrew i have a question because you're not on Instagram then. No, I'm not. That's correct. Someone has been sending Instagram posts beating your Garfield times. No way. Apparently, and I wish I had it to show it to you because the last one I saw, but I guess it disappears after 24 hours if it's in your time, your story or whatever. It said, I have beaten all of the times, but I left one for Andrew

so that he can still have some dignity. But Lasagna Mountain got a lot smaller for him. I own Garfield now. Have you not checked your times lately? Have either of you been in a pyramid scheme? I'm just asking. That's a natural pivot. I definitely have things to say about Garfield.

My response to the Garfield thing is good job to that person. It's tough being on top of Lasagna Mountain. If anything, it's a relief. I'm glad I'm no longer there. But I argue that the bullshit of I gave them one time to feel good about themselves, that's the fastest fucking time on the planet. That's why they didn't beat it. It wasn't a pity move.

I feel like you're a little crushed about losing all these Garfield times. Like you were on this for months. Were you aware of it before this moment? Yes, I was. Okay, I didn't figure it'd be possible for you to be ignorant of the fact that so many of your times

had been beaten so thoroughly. Were you hoping, Andrew, that we wouldn't find out and that we wouldn't think you were less impressive than you used to be? No, in all honesty, I learned this yesterday because I'm not on Instagram, but somebody mentioned it to me. And I said, what are you talking about?

The throne is still fine. And then they showed me the post. Yeah, good for them. It's stressful being at the top. I was there for almost a year. I still have the fastest time anyone has ever seen. Feel good about that. They beat that, then I'm out of the game.

And who knows? Maybe I'll come back. Even just going to hide in the weeds a little bit. I'm going to do a Gavin and Halo move. I'm just going to wait for a while. You're trapping Garfield times. Yeah, well, I'm trying to get into the Xbox Hall of Fame at the moment. So I'm a little occupied.

I saw from a tweet that Ray is in the Xbox Hall of Fame somehow. Is it gamer score based? Sort of. It was like a promotion they gave. They just inducted a bunch of people who were notable I guess for gamerscore, but they're doing this contest where you can enter the Hall of Fame by either

unlocking the most achievements by I think the middle of October, getting the most points, or playing the most Game Pass games within that stretch. And it's account wide and only one winner per country so i was trying to figure out what country had the smallest population that i could get into and try to claim victory of north korea not an option my immediate didn't think they'd have a

large user base or install base there i don't know sweden maybe sweden i don't know what the install basis i need to do more research but, I bet you got some competition in Sweden. Probably. Maybe Iceland? I don't know if... Yeah, I'll write that down. No, Iceland's too big. I would...

Maybe... Not that big. It doesn't even need to necessarily be literal population. It's install base, right? So like Tokyo, a lot of people, not many play Xbox. So that could be a viable option. I bet there's some little like andalusian mountain country you could pick that's got like 2500 people i'll write it down i'll have

to go through i'm in the research phase right now of all just making sure i could even pull this off i don't think they have a rule against it that doesn't mean it will be approved that they maybe just didn't anticipate i'm pretty sure you'd have to have you can't just change your location surely wouldn't you have to have a billing address there to make sure you'd have to have you can't just change your location surely wouldn't you have to have a billing address there to make sure you're from there no i flip location on xbox all the time andrew probably has a billing address in every country in the world right he's like the canadian born identity he's saying he's got a passport and currency and a phone number and an email address he could disappear tomorrow oh yeah

where's his money it's gonna be spread across so many countries i was thinking the other day andrew is the person i've known the longest but in a ratio i know the least about i know absolutely nothing about your day-to-day your living situation i don't know anything i know that you sit next to a fire extinguisher once a week. That's about it for how you live. Still in a blanket fort. Everything else is a mystery to me. I assume you live like Jimmy Stewart in Rear Window. You just sit in a chair with a tartan blanket around you next to a fire extinguisher and

look out the window hoping to catch homeless women peeing. Do you think, Andrew, a good gift would be a telescope so that you could see the pee closer? No. Yeah, like binoculars. No, I don't do that i'm good dude jimmy stewart was a badass there are worse people to be compared to i'm not my complaint wasn't with being compared to jimmy stewart my issue was with once again the continued

narrative that i have an obsession of watching homeless women pee and that i need a telescope for it i was not arguing the jimmy stewart point jeff oh you don't you that I need a telescope for it. I was not arguing the Jimmy Stewart point, Jeff. Oh, you don't need the telescope? I don't do it, so I don't need a telescope for anything. I'm not really into looking into the sky. I can't believe you're turning down a free telescope here. It's a cool piece of kit. They're expensive.

Think of all the fun stuff you could do with them. What would be the fun stuff I could do with them, Jeff? You could probably figure out a way to burn ants from your bedroom. That's cool. Wait, how? I don't know, like with refraction, right? So wait, the telescope that's in his apartment, you think the sun is in there with him

and he can focus? He's got a window, Gavin. He could hang it out the window, put it on a pole, you know, attach the pole to a C-clamp. Dude, the guy, he lives in a pillow fort supported by, I assume, sofa cushions and a fire extinguisher.

That's just pretty convoluted. He'd be better off throwing a Molotov cocktail out the window if he wanted to burn an ant. This seems very extreme. He's like a little, I mean, he's also, he's like a Bourne identity, but he's also a little bit like a MacGyver if you think about it. Wait, could you use a telescope to do that even? Like, logistically, would that work? That feels very extreme.

I don't see why not. It'd be like calling in a hammer at dawn against an ant. Like, normally it's the magnifying glass. Yeah, I mean, the sun is still much bigger than an ant, though. Like, no matter what you use in between. No, but I feel like it's more powerful with the magnifying, or the telescope, than it would be the magnifying glass. Am I wrong about that?

No, I mean, if it's focused to a point, say, of like two millimeters, it doesn't really matter what lens that you do that with. It's just that's the point. Like, that's all the focus in that point. You could do like nine lenses or one if it's the same surface area. Surely it's the same power unless you're losing,

if it's like refracting and losing within the lens. Wait, so the number of lenses wouldn't matter? I mean, I would say you're possibly going to lose more light if it goes through more pieces of glass. That makes sense. I mean, like a photography lens, if it's a long lens, usually has a higher f-stop because of...

Who cares? In my head, it makes more sense that a telescope would be more powerful than a magnifying glass. You might be right. I'm just guessing. No, your guess is way more educated than mine. Mine is, it is longer and bigger, so it would be more powerful. So I think your logic probably wins.

Can I ask you guys your opinion on something? Yeah. I'm trying to decide if this is a f*** face or not. This isn't me, but a couple weeks ago, I was driving around Austin bored. And a friend of mine who lives in South Austin had been telling me about this area that she lives by called Onion Creek. And Onion Creek was like a country club and a golf course and just like a little part of town in Southeast Austin, which, by the way, like we used to go that tech company

that I worked at with Bernie and Gus. We started Rooster Teeth from like that was where they had at their country club was where they had like the shitty Christmas dinner every year. And like around like 2013, that area flooded really, really badly. There's this area in Austin called the hundred year floodplain. And like supposedly once every hundred years, it just floods like a motherfucker. And it's hard to get insurance if you live in the floodplain, yada, yada, yada. So I guess it was so bad with, you know, climate change, or if you don't believe in climate change, bad luck or whatever, it was determined that this is going to continue to happen. And so there were all these neighborhoods that were in Onion Creek that were just in

such danger of flooding. The city in 2018 did a buyback program and they bought back about 500 houses. So imagine two neighborhoods that are essentially 500 house neighborhoods. So they're pretty big. I think one was about 400 and the other one's about 100. So the city bought all these houses and I assume they paid fair price. It was like a joint venture between the state of Texas or the city of Austin and the Army Corps of Engineers. And so I think they went and they offered fair market value to these people. And then people sold their homes. Then they bulldozed all the homes, all the 500 homes, and took out the power lines and took out any trees that they thought, like ornamental trees that would become a danger to fall over if they weren't

cared for. You know, like trees that aren't native to Texas that would be in your backyard. You know, you planted like a crepe myrtle or something. She was telling me about it. She was like, you should check it out. It's like post-apocalyptic. And so I drove over there and I've become obsessed with it, right? Because it's neighborhoods with sidewalks and streets and in some cases, like a trash can like at the street and sometimes an old mailbox and sometimes you see like a power generator where somebody's house used to be but out of the 500 houses 10 of them refused to sell and so they're still there with people living in it yeah and it's fucking crazy because do you remember that movie it was a book but do you remember the movie annihilation with natalie portman that was like a couple years ago yes yeah it was weird yeah the neighborhood looks like that it's like

it was 2018 they started the buyback program and they bulldozed all the houses so it's all overgrown and kind of like east texas swampy looking but it's fucking gorgeous so it looks like post apocalyptic right it looks like this like the the nature took over the neighborhood back so do they like send people to collect the bins and stuff still? Or is that just- Yeah. So they cut power and they cut power lines everywhere but to these 10 houses. So the houses still have city water.

They still have gas. They still have electricity forever. The city didn't force the people to sell the houses. They just encouraged it and it became a good deal because of, you know, they were going to fucking flood. So you would think like the people that refuse to sell totally face themselves. Right. But they kind of didn't because those houses have been there since like the 50s. And I think this place has flooded that badly once in their lifetimes. I got to thinking about it. It probably won't flood that badly again. Maybe it will. I don't know. But they have an entire 500 house neighborhood to themselves. That's crazy. I bet there's like barely any busyness noise. I bet they never have to put up with like the leaf blower next door. Their systems are never taxed. I bet the internet is racing fast because it's not split across hundreds of houses.

It's so weird. And I've been kind of obsessed with the idea. Like I couldn't go buy a house there, but if you, if I guarantee you, if I, if I drove you guys over there right now, you'd go, this is a beautiful neighborhood. This is, you should build some houses here. This is awesome. Uh, but they essentially like the city has turned it into in perpetuity parkland. And so they've designated it like a city park or whatever. They're there. They're they've put some bike paths and stuff through it. But it's just like this crazy weird area where you're driving through neighborhoods

and you can see like a palm tree that used to be in somebody's backyard, like 20 feet in the air that's like unkempt and just like super doesn't belong there. And you can see where driveways used to be and what's left of it in two years, just two years, the sidewalks are almost gone from like crazy stuff going over it and there's just these like 10 people that just live where

500 houses used to be and they're the only homes it's crazy i don't think that's a face i think those holdouts will now be much more valuable than they ever would have been before because people might want that lifestyle if i bet you couldn't convince them to sell for anything cheap. I don't know what the laws are behind it. I don't know if they can sell. I don't know if you can buy that property or if you sell, you have to sell to the city or something. I don't know. Really? I really don't know, dude. I don't know. All I know is that the city still supplies services to those people. Imagine in your neighborhood, Gavin, if every house you could see got bulldozed, but your house was fine. And then all the debris and everything was moved away.

And then the city came in and they cut that grass twice a year. I read the city's plan on it. They cut the vegetation down twice a year. So it's essentially, it's just like left to turn into fields and forests. I'm imagining what happens in Fallout 4 in Sanctuary if you just like scrap all the other houses apart from your own. That'd be awesome.

I'd be all for that. Yeah, it's insane. So it's like the gamble is your house could be flooded at any point though, right? Yeah, at any point, like irrevocably flooded. Could you lift it up and put it on stilts? That's a great question. I don't know.

Or do you build your own like little fucking moats and shit in your yard or build retaining walls if they just look like they're just going about their business like the houses look like they were in a neighborhood with another 400 houses like they don't look like anything special they don't look fortified they don't look great they're not the nicest houses you've ever seen are you allowed to buy a crane and live in a house that's hanging off it? No. Why not? Why not? I don't know why, but no, the answer is no. You can't do that.

And then when it floods, your crane gets wet, but you're still good. The crane starts going down. Your house is just moving. You end up in a different neighborhood. It lands like a block over because the crane tipped.

That'd be awesome. If you're in Austin and you know anybody that lives in Onion Creek Avenue, we used to have a friend who lived in Onion Creek years and years and years ago. I never went to his house when he lived there. But I don't know if they were in the part that

if they had to have their houses bought back or not, but it's just fucking... I haven't been able to stop thinking about this house and whether or not these people fucked themselves or whether they were brilliant. Now, the buyback program is over, so they can't sell the house to the city now. City's like, nah, fuck you. That ship's safe, you know?

So if you lose that bet and that place gets flooded, I think you're fucked. But so I guess it's like as long as Mother Nature plays ball, you're good. But man, what a cool idea to live like essentially by yourself in a suburban neighborhood. The people that remained, are they spread out throughout? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I read in an article that there were 10 surviving houses. I only saw six.

I think there's areas I still haven't seen because it's kind of confusing. But I would say they're blocks away from each other. I would be irate if I had a neighbor in that situation. Yeah. Because the only house with a neighbor, that'd be infuriating. No, absolutely. Can you navigate via the roads pretty well? Roads are totally fine. I think I neighbor in that situation. Yeah. If I was the only house with a neighbor, that'd be infuriating. No, absolutely. Can you navigate via the roads pretty well? Roads are totally fun.

I think I'd take that gamble. It's not a face until it happens, and it might never happen. Right. I think they're winning right now. Let's go there. Yeah, I'll take you. I'll take you sometime.

We'll go. As soon as we can go places in a car together, I'll fucking drive you over there. It seems like somebody should have filmed a movie there by now. I'll watch you two from my telescope. I've just noticed it's 4.55, right? I have to do another show at 5. So if we start the outro process five minutes from when I need to be gone,

we should be done in time. Do you think we'll find a new color in our lifetime? Okay, well... What does that mean? That's not the right direction. Like invent a color? Yeah, I mean, do you think we'll find a new color? What, like the color blimp?

Oh, which is kind of cool if a magazine was like, hey, we found a new purple. That would be purple. It'd be like a shade of purple. Well, that's a new color, though. A shade is certainly a new color, isn't it? Well, I mean, sure. I mean, we surely have every visible or every color that's on our visible spectrum we've nailed. Are you talking like maybe we'll find something

beyond ultraviolet that for some reason we can see? I don't know how colors work. I'm just wondering if we'll find a new one. What would you name it? I have no idea. I'm not the Crayola company. They come up with that, right? Yes, Crayola names are the official naming entity of colors. I mean,

who names colors? Is someone credited with naming a color? I don't know. I think they all came from different languages based on different super old school shit. Maybe Latin or something. But surely someone had to come up with it, right? Someone had to be like, that's red. Uh, yeah. Yeah. I feel like

you guys are acting like this is an insane question. I think it's very reasonable. It's not an insane question. It's just, it's like, it's something I thought about when I was eight, you know? You still don't have an answer. You've been, I just thought about this last week. How old are you now, Gavin? 20 years, no results?

Looks bad on you. You don't, you don't even have anything ready to go. Like where, where could the color possibly be? I, I, well, no, I, I'm not, I don't think I'm going to discover a new color. Are you thinking that there's some combination of paint colors you could put together that nobody's thought of yet? You put a little red in there, a little green, maybe a little brown, put some orange. I don't shake it a little bit. I don't.

I just I don't know. I was asking. I was just asking a question. I'm going to say no. Let me ask you this. Do you believe in Mandela effects? asking a question. I'm going to say no. Let me ask you this. Do you believe in Mandela effects? Because I really want to, but now I'm convinced after I've spent a lot of time on the subreddit that 99% of Mandela effects, people just don't understand that movies are edited for TV.

That's a great point. I actually never thought about that angle. Some of them, though, aren't movie related. It's like names, right? And spelling of words. Sometimes, but mostly it's just people don't understand that movies are edited down for TV. Like that color that just went missing? Yeah, or that sometimes they put something in a trailer that doesn't make it into the film. Like the scene in Dumb and Dumber in the trailer when Lloyd Christmas is running down the jetway

and then they back the plane up and he falls and he's like laying funny on the ground holding the briefcase. I don't think that's in the movie, but it's in the trailer. It is in the movie. Is it in the movie? Of course it is. It's like the best part of the movie. Aside from the snowball in the face, that holding the briefcase. I don't think that's in the movie, but it's in the trailer. It is in the movie. Is it in the movie? Of course it is.

It's like the best part of the movie. Aside from the snowball in the face, that's the best part. Then there's something in that scene that's in the trailer that's not in the movie. Did Jeff just fall for his own trap that he was complaining about? I mean, he also thought chickens shat through their head skin, so. That's true. Hey, we should probably stop though. Yeah.

Before I look any dumber or gavin's late thanks for listening what about like pillow it's like a purple and a yellow all right uh thanks for listening rate five stars and subscribe whatever that means this has been uh episode 16 of face thank you for listening and uh nick go ahead and cut out anything where i look dumb or not super smart cut Cut out the whole Mandela effect thing because I look dumb in it. Or at least the part where I talk about Dumb and Dumber. I'm misremembering. There's something in the trailer

of Dumb and Dumber that's not in the film. There's something in the trailer of Liar Liar that's not in the film. Also involving plane stairs. Hmm. Maybe that's what I'm misremembering. You ever see the Slenderman movie? No. I heard it was bad. There's a lot of stuff in the trailer that's just not in the movie. Nick and Eric haven't figured out that they need to drag us out and not move themselves into End Show.

Gavin, you're about to officially be late. Well, now we're just all in here. That doesn't work. Then the show's over. Goodbye. I have to go to a meeting. Goodbye. All right.

Oh, he left. All right, I'm sorry. Oh, he left.