Regulation Podcast - High Stakes for Gavin // Who's Asking Who What? [144]

Episode Date: March 8, 2023

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about Eric is thinking about being mad, AN EGG, Geoff's naming, ANMA, Geoff's Life Hack, food dice, haircuts, give me Yop Me Mama, bullied on fridays, 2023 is for movies,... Rollerball, Fast 9, Geoff Free, throwing a fruit the furthest, Wicked Smarts, premium magnet, and getting mall jobs.  Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to ffacebits@gmail.com. Download the public audio version https://link.chtbl.com/f--kface. Already a FIRST Member and need your Private RSS feed for this show? Go here: http://bit.ly/FIRSTRSS. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a Rooster Teeth production. Hello and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast. My name is Jeff Ramsey. With me as always, Andrew Pantin, Gavin Free, Nick and Eric who is anticipating anger. This is episode 144. It sounds like Eric is pre-mad. He's pre-mad. He's pre-mad.
Starting point is 00:00:32 I'm just going. It's like pre-med, but with an A. I'm just going in to our office day knowing what office day has been previously and what it was last time and i am preparing myself i'm bracing and getting ready for what it's going to be why don't you just do it do it live just do it on the night why would you want to get riled up do what live what are you talking about get mad so you're saying don't brace for it at all. Just let it hit you. Well, what's better? Being mad most of the time in preparation.
Starting point is 00:01:09 I'm not mad right now. I'm thinking about what I have to prepare for. That is the most mad I've heard somebody declare. This sucks. But I agree with you. I think, you know, if you brace for being mad, it takes less out of you when you get there because you're prepared for it
Starting point is 00:01:25 i'm imagining eric leaving his house with a smile and getting behind the wheel it just gets closer to the office just starts frowning now i want to give gavin top marks for immediately deflecting this episode onto you eric because i think this is the highest stakes any episode has ever been for gavin because if you have back-to-back weird guy performances i think you're just a weird guy like we talked about being late how long would take to get out of being in the i'm a late guy house being in a weird guy house i think it would take equally long to get out of so deflecting immediately to somebody else great move i think you bring it up really isn't helping though it's really a waste of pressure. Well, I'm just stating the pressure that's there.
Starting point is 00:02:09 See, now I have a clean slate. Yeah. But you have... You just shot on my slate. What do you mean? The slate was set... I mean, the slate was so set from the last one. I think you're the weird guy. No, I just flubbed.
Starting point is 00:02:20 That's not a weird thing. People flub all the time. I wouldn't even say that was the best flub I've ever seen. How about this? I was thinking about our initials the other day, and the five of us, if you take the first letter from each of our first names, it spells
Starting point is 00:02:38 an egg. You were thinking about Andrew It's not you Andrew, Nick, Eric Jeff and Jeff Jeff might be the weird guy in this one I was sitting around thinking about
Starting point is 00:02:58 Our initial Jeff, thank you so much You're welcome That's what I'm here for When you said an egg And you visualized an egg Jeff, thank you so much. You're welcome. That's what I'm here for. When you said an egg and you visualized an egg, did you see anything specific, like a logo for it? Did anything pop in your mind? Anyone?
Starting point is 00:03:16 Because I had something pop in mine. How did this not come up in our Dumpty face? I don't know. That's what I agree with. We're the boys of Dumpty, literally, or an egg. And we're an egg. Yeah with the boys of Dumpty literally are an egg and we're an egg yeah the boys of Dumpty are an egg maybe this is my weird thing I see an egg is like
Starting point is 00:03:31 the Gap logo but it's an an egg like that but it says an egg that's just what I saw that's what I envisioned that's not what I see if an egg was a store it would look like the Gap logo in my head that's just that was my vision I was curious if you guys have any brand affiliates so where did you get If Anag was a store, it would look like the Gap logo in my head.
Starting point is 00:03:46 That was my vision. I was curious if you guys had any brand affiliation. So where did you get, first of all, how did you get to our initials being set that way? Were you just trying to figure out different possibilities? Or how did that happen? I think about that stuff all the time. Okay.
Starting point is 00:04:03 That's like when I, well, the way I came to it is I was thinking about trying to come up with a name for the podcast you and I recorded recently, Andrew. This is a lot of teasing for a thing that might not be heard by anybody. It's not a big, it's just like we were recording like a sports fandom thing. It was like a test. I don't know if we'll release it or not. test i don't know if we'll release it or not i'm sure we'll release it but we we need to put at least uh one full episode in uh before we'll we'll determine if it's releasable or not yeah but i was just trying to come up with a name and that's like the first thing i always do like i always love that like like jeff and and and gus and uh gavin uh were always 3g i always thought that was kind
Starting point is 00:04:42 of funny like coming up with clever... Whenever I'm trying to think of a name for something, one of the things I look at is, what do our initials spell? Could I make something out of that? Clever. And so I was doing that, and I thought,
Starting point is 00:04:54 I've never considered that for F*** Face. What letters do I have? And then I came up with An Egg. Hmm. You think about names a lot, and you've named stuff Achievement Hunter and F*** Face? That's well, listen, I think about names a lot, so I never come up. Rooster Teeth?
Starting point is 00:05:12 I had nothing to do with Rooster Teeth. Anma? Listen, listen, I had nothing to do with the name Rooster Teeth. That's Bernie Burns. I had nothing to do with the name Anma. That's Gustavo Sorolla. I wanted to call it Good Morning Gus, which is a great podcast name. And I stand by F*** Face as a phenomenal podcast name. And I use Achievement Hunter as an example of why I need to think more about naming shit. So I don't name anything else Achievement Hunter again.
Starting point is 00:05:39 So yes, I put a lot of thought in the naming stuff because I don't want to be saddled with a dipshit name like Achievement Hunter for the rest of my life. I got a name for you for an alternate instead of Good Morning Gus, Jeff. If you would have went Good Evening Gus, you would have got all your initials. All three. GG. Perfect symmetry.
Starting point is 00:05:59 Unfortunately, it's a show about drinking coffee in the morning. And Gus doesn't want his name in the title. I'm saving Emma. Did I tell you that? No. I feel like it's a show about drinking coffee in the morning. And Gus doesn't want his name in the title. I'm saving Emma. Did I tell you that? No. I feel like it's the one thing Rooster Teeth makes that I would be a fan of if I didn't work here. Like, that's the only thing the whole company makes that you'd be a fan of?
Starting point is 00:06:19 Well, I mean, I'm involved in so much else of it. I'm talking about something that I don't touch. Yeah, you have zero involvement in. Yeah. That's kind of how I feel about, like, in so much else of it. I'm talking about something that I don't touch. You have zero involvement in. That's kind of how I feel about 30 Morbid Minutes. Yeah, right? So I listened to the first Anima when it came out, and I was like, oh, this is my shit. I can't wait
Starting point is 00:06:36 to listen to this. And one day I'm going to listen to all of it. I assume when it's long over. Yeah, that'll really help their metrics. Good friend. But I determined during that, Eric has the best job at Rooster Teeth. If anyone who has to get pre-mad, I feel like that's a tough case to make. Yeah, Eric, how do you feel about that? I like my job.
Starting point is 00:06:59 You get to do Anima. Yeah. In order for me to do a podcast with Jeff and Gus, I have to do two separate podcasts. Do you want to be on Anima? No, no, no. I don't want to touch it. I'm a fan of it. Well, I mean, if there was an episode that was like covering an era of time
Starting point is 00:07:17 that I was involved in, but otherwise, no. That's kind of the whole show. Yeah. You would be appropriate for almost every episode. Yeah. That's yeah. You'd really just slot in. He sure loves Anma.
Starting point is 00:07:29 He is the biggest Anma guy. I know he supports it. He loves it. He does all of it. I appreciate that you like it. He's listening to one episode. I think it's great that I, I,
Starting point is 00:07:38 I appreciate it. Cause it's the stuff, it's the stuff that I started liking at the beginning, like 2003 when I joined the website and it's like that era still being made. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. I mean,
Starting point is 00:07:49 it's definitely, you get like a lot of stories that are on Mike. And I do really think there are times where I think I have the job that people who love rooster teeth would love to have. Cause there are a lot of stories that you get off Mike that you're never going to get on Mike and you go, oh man. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:04 That's a, yeah, we'll hang on to that one. Don't ever say it. It's pretty good. I got us. I got to say, Eric, I think the best, the absolute best part of that other podcast I do, Anma that you produce is the drive to the production and the drive back from the production. It's so fun.
Starting point is 00:08:21 The car rides are the best because that's when we tell you the the parts that we couldn't tell in the podcast or reframe it. Yeah. It's so good. It's a lot of fun. It's like so. And I get a free cup of coffee every Monday. So it's like, you know, that's really all I'm looking for. It's great.
Starting point is 00:08:38 Yeah. I feel like if that job existed and that was the only thing you did, Eric, you would have the perfect job at Rooster Teeth. I agree. And it's like that for Face Jam a lot of the time too like driving to get the food and driving back and then well we don't really go anywhere or do anything and then when we do go somewhere it's just a lot of questions about why isn't this set up and i don't know i didn't know it was supposed to be where are we gonna plug in this baseball launcher yeah a lot of that stuff and it's like what is this for we're not getting anything out of this so you would say you really like animal cabin you would say you're you enjoy it you're you're you're saving it to use your own
Starting point is 00:09:16 i would say if anything it's content made for me okay well what's really interesting is that content not made for you, apparently feet, feet content, you don't plan on touching at all, which is identical to the content that is made for you. So when are you actually interacting with content? When are you enjoying it? What are you, are you only watching and listening to things you kind of like? What's the line for you?
Starting point is 00:09:42 Well, I feel like while working here here i'm often just proofing stuff no i don't mean here i mean in general because it sounds like the things you really enjoy you're saving are there other shows you're saving or is this it this is actually a good it was a weird approach but it's a good question similarly to how i i have yet to finish schitt's creek because i like that it's still out there I still have half of the last season to watch when you guys were talking about over the final like norm stuff right
Starting point is 00:10:12 yeah it's like you want it to be out there but you don't necessarily want to listen to it yet or watch it yeah I'm gonna say this didn't go the way I want it I just wanted to slam you again for the feet thing but it went into a real sincere place which is nice but it's not what I wanted. I got my goalie gloves on this episode, baby.
Starting point is 00:10:30 Hey, if you guys don't mind, I have a life hack I'd like to share with you. Oh, please. This is definitely our hacking era. I love it. Yeah. And Gavin, I will say in full transparency, I did run this by Gavin last night when we were playing Call of Duty.
Starting point is 00:10:47 It is a... I think he liked it. I think it's a real life hack. We'll see what you guys think about it. And this is, to be fair, this isn't exactly my life hack. It's kind of Emily's. But I definitely benefit from it. So I don't know about you guys, but I get really bored of going to the grocery store.
Starting point is 00:11:07 Just like you just go to the same grocery store, you walk down the same aisles, you pick up the same shit, and it just becomes very repetitious, very rote, very boring, very laissez-faire, right? And we always lament that we're bored going grocery shopping and they wish we could spice it up a little bit. So Emily came up with this idea. She found this app or website where you can... It's like a randomizer, and you can put in different stuff and randomize it. So she has this big wheel, and it's got like 10 grocery stores from around town on it,
Starting point is 00:11:38 all over town. Could be HEB, could be Central Market, could be Whole Foods, could be Arlen's, could be Fresh Plus, could be Randall's. We got a lot of grocery stores. And anytime we have to go grocery shopping, we now have to spin that wheel. And whichever grocery store we land on, that's the grocery store we have to go shop at.
Starting point is 00:11:56 So if it's like across town, like it was the other day, we have to drive all the way over to East 7th and Pleasant Valley to go to that HEB because that's where the wheel landed. And that keeps it from being repetitious or boring. I think that's great. I don't think it's a life hack, but I think that's a lot of fun. I love the idea. It's a life hack to keep grocery stores from being boring.
Starting point is 00:12:16 Add some randomness. Hacks, I feel like, usually save time or money, right? Is that what defines the hack? Or increase joy or happiness. I don't think that's typically a measurement for a hack. I don't know why it couldn't be. I just, I don't.
Starting point is 00:12:32 Hmm. I like it. I don't want it to seem like I'm negative on this. I think that's a great idea. I think that's so much fun. That'd make it more exciting. It could be annoying. It just is great in so many ways.
Starting point is 00:12:43 But I don't think you're hacking necessarily i think you've just come up with a system that is more enjoyable for doing a mundane task but it's not an alternate path around it you're still grocery shopping yeah but you're doing it in a different and new way to make it more interesting and enjoyable yeah i just don't think it's a hack personally but i love it andrew have you suggested any hacks since your mcdonald's thing no and i still think that my mcdonald's thing which you destroyed is the closest thing to a hack we've had on the ship i can't believe that i started the hack thing not and i didn't know your complete incompetence of knowing what a hack
Starting point is 00:13:25 is it really would change the context of that entire conversation if I had the knowledge I know now which is not a life hack don't write that down Kevin having having knowledge that is we've covered that with the songs it's not it's just good it's a good thing to have but it's not a hack so there you go that's my that's my life hack well no it's i have more questions about the life hack okay sure is it just grocery stores or is it also items i mean you could apply it to anything we actually have it for valentine's day because we similarly when we when we don't have anything at home to cook and we have to order food for dinner like i'll be honest i'm sick of all food like nothing ever sounds good i never get excited
Starting point is 00:14:07 about anything and so when it's like seven o'clock at night we realized we had nothing to eat and we're like what do you want you want chinese mexican what do you pizza and we're always like i don't want any of it what are you on you we just have to fucking just like our like not even argue just like come up with something some kind of food to fucking eat to pass the night. She bought me these dice that just have different kinds of food on it. So now we just roll the dice and whatever we land on, that's what we eat. Last night we had Mexican. That's fun too.
Starting point is 00:14:35 I'd like to take this to the extreme. I'd like to land it on one of the things that you didn't want. Yeah, but I had to eat it because I had food dice. I like the idea of like you guys wanting butter just to have in the house or milk but you can't because the wheel hasn't landed on milk landed on it yet yeah yeah i think you can only eat like maybe you get like maybe we do a competition where we come up with some sort of six-sided or 12-sided die and then you get like
Starting point is 00:15:01 four dice rolls and then you have to eat those four things for a week. Yeah. Maybe you get 10 dice rolls, and you just have to make what you can out of what you roll. The ingredients you have? Yeah, not, like, necessarily. Mmm. That's interesting.
Starting point is 00:15:14 Mmm. That's fun. I don't think that's a hack, but that's a great game. I think it'd be better with haircuts. Hmm. What? You mean, like, you have a wheel of styles, and you have to spin it, and... No, you just, like, just put on, on like 10 different barbershops that you've never been to and just roll the dice oh you're talking
Starting point is 00:15:30 why is that why is that better it's just higher stakes it's pretty low stakes because a lot of grocery stores are pretty no this isn't a hack eric this is just a way to make the game more i think it would be funnier if you had hairstyles on the board, but you went to your regular person. Guess I'm getting a mullet. Why doesn't every barbershop have a wheel of eight haircuts? If I was a barber, I would offer
Starting point is 00:15:56 like a 25% discount if people were willing to spin the wheel. I'd absolutely, that'd be a great time. That might be a hack almost. That's getting in the hack territory. absolutely that'd be a great time that might be a hack almost that's getting in the hack territory is that hack territory that's made me hacked here i don't know but if you could force somebody to get a hairstyle they don't want in an attempt for a discount i think
Starting point is 00:16:16 that's great i would say we should do this with the bingo balls but you would have the most normal haircut andrew come out and i would have a mohawk on the side of my head. The problem would be we cannot rely on my ability to convey what the haircut is unless it's like a mullet. If you have to give me instructions I don't know how to describe getting my own, like taking it back to the first episode. That's why I always end up with a guy. I just say do
Starting point is 00:16:39 what you usually do. Because I don't know how to describe haircuts. Do you have a picture of your hair in its form that you like the most? No. I don't. When the guy's done cutting your hair, what do you want to end up with?
Starting point is 00:16:58 Short, but not like super buzzed, but like short. But not buzzed. But short. Keep going. Well well that's it that's the loop that's i don't know what else to say you don't know how to describe i have no idea i'm so bad at it that's why i didn't get my haircut for like well i mean the pandemic also didn't help but like once we went to lockdown i couldn't go to the retirement home it was like two and a half three years before i got my it was the longest I've ever gone without a haircut.
Starting point is 00:17:27 And I like the guy I have now. It's great. But I haven't been back since I got it cut last year. I'm coming up on like a year since I got my haircut. So you're happy with what is currently on your head? I need to get it cut. But once again, it's the thing of, I've only been to this person once.
Starting point is 00:17:40 It's been a year. They're not going to remember. I'm trying to remember what I said. So that means you still got your own trim. Didn't you trim your own hair recently or a few months ago? Sometimes I would cut parts of it when it would just get too long.
Starting point is 00:17:53 It would be my face. So you still have some of that? I haven't done that in a while, but I really do need to book an appointment to get it chopped down. It was shorter than I would have wanted last time, but I kind of liked it. So I don't even how to how to describe that at that point i'm just completely lost when it comes to hair okay do you worry about like where you get your hair cut is that a concern for you because like if i went to a different place it would i'd have anxiety about it because
Starting point is 00:18:19 i'm bad at it but generally speaking i don't think i'd care i mean it's always comfort in having a person that you know like i used to not get my haircut in in america i used to just wait until i'd be back in england what well yeah you i mean like there's some artistry to it and uh you develop a relationship with your hairstylist they understand your head and your hair and what you like and uh and they remember that from time to time and so it's like yeah i i can i can understand wanting to go to the same person over and over again yeah i can't do it it's just when you travel across the world when a flight is involved that's weird i'm not flying to get a haircut i'm just doing it while i'm there just coincidentally just have oh just
Starting point is 00:19:00 gonna go in get my haircut while i'm here type thing. Yeah, I'd say for the first two years I lived in the US I only got my haircut in England. And then I just got bored and went to Supercuts next to the office. Life hack. Life hack Supercuts. Life hack, spend 15 bucks instead of
Starting point is 00:19:21 2,000. That is like traveling somewhere specifically for your haircut like getting on a flight that is extravagant yeah to be clear i never did that no you didn't but okay like i like the idea of being being in a place where you feel comfortable enough financially that you would take a flight to get your haircut but not financially comfortable enough to pay for first class like you're at the back of the plane. You're in, like, the discount seats. I would say that level of wealth doesn't exist. If
Starting point is 00:19:51 you've got the money to fly somewhere for a haircut, you have the money to fly the hairdresser to you. That's true. I agree. Yeah. That's a fair line. They're cutting your hair in your kitchen or something. Yeah. that works.
Starting point is 00:20:08 I'm jealous of you, Jeff, because you just, Emily just cuts your hair, right, at this point? Yes, I'm very fortunate that I live with a stylist. It's super convenient, and I definitely feel very lucky and fortunate every day of my life. Do you have something
Starting point is 00:20:23 to unveil this episode, Gavin? Are you still working towards whatever it is you're building? Oh I've worked on something over the last couple of days and I will be presenting it tomorrow. Oh! So it's not ready today. Okay. That's disappointing. I have to wait tomorrow for it. You want me to do it now?
Starting point is 00:20:39 Well why would you save it for tomorrow? Is there a reason why? It's just always nice, I think, sort of, what is it? Office day, that I have something to show. A little thing, like an edit or a... Sure. Is this the best of?
Starting point is 00:20:53 Or is the best of still in the works? This is the best of. The best of. Okay. It's pretty short. I guess it's tomorrow. Really? Is it just noises I made?
Starting point is 00:21:04 I showed Jeff my list of episodes and time codes and Jeff could not figure out what was going on I have no clue huh I guess enjoy people that are listening to this at some point in the future Gavin's best of face don't get your hopes up. Do you guys have anything else on your list to talk about today?
Starting point is 00:21:30 Not really that I want. Not that I have. I always want to give everybody a chance to check out their list before the episode's over because you always forget and then you look and you're like, God damn it, I waited a week. I had a childhood memory kind of ruined. i don't think it's that necessarily interesting but people of my age i think gavin you might be a little bit too old do you ever see the yoplait give me yope in the morning commercials there are these like iconic and people that are around my age grew up on these
Starting point is 00:22:00 yoplait commercials where it was give give me, yope me mama. And they would, it was just like, it's this like people are freeze frame and it's like kids being like, give me yope my mama. Ooh, yope mama. Like it's the whole thing about having yogurt in the morning.
Starting point is 00:22:17 And I was watching, I was doing like a YouTube music trivia thing. And they're like, name this song. And it was the give me yope my mama song. And I was like, what the fuck? This is a real song and i looked into it it's a song about like the apartheid like it is a very serious song that they they took and covered for a yogurt commercial in the morning like it is they completely yeah that's er Eric just posted a Yop Me Mama link.
Starting point is 00:22:46 It was always the fun, goofy yogurt song. But knowing that they just changed the lyrics to like a very serious song. That's way worse than I throw my sandwich in the air sometimes. Yeah. It's so bad. It has ruined it. So I'm sorry for anybody else who grew up with that commercial and remembers it. And it's now ruined.
Starting point is 00:23:11 That's crazy. Yeah. yeah i was i don't it was insane that they did it i guess people were really mad at the artists at the time for giving up the rights for them to do that but then there's like six other iterations of people doing it there was uh oh what's his name like roy miller or something there was a football club that like their slogan became give me hope and then like a guy's name uh in the same like tune odd but just ruined it ruined a childhood it was like a top tier commercial for me growing up you'd see it all the time dead what is your favorite flavor of yogurt not a yogurt guy. Same, dude. I don't like vanilla. Not a fan. What a boring answer. Oh, Jesus. I mean, it's true.
Starting point is 00:23:52 I mean, vanilla is not exciting. Yeah, but... It's not a criticism. Going with what Eric wrote, like, you hate yogurt, but you like yogurt commercials? Well, because I'm a kid. Like, it's a fun... Like, you just see it all the time.
Starting point is 00:24:01 It was like a jingle that would get stuck in your head. Did you have a bad yogurt experience? No, really touched yogurt i because yeah i just i was not like typically allowed to have it i had something i desired i had yogurt in kindergarten and i didn't like it and the teacher made me eat it anyway and then so i had to eat it and then we were painting and i started to feel sick and i threw up on the girl i haven't eaten yogurt since the kindergarten you haven't eaten yogurt since kindergarten and it was yo play yeah oh let's yo play fuck yogurt fuck that fucking teacher and i'm i feel so bad for the little girl i threw up
Starting point is 00:24:39 on i used to get uh little yogurts in my packed lunch at school, and I would have Froobs, which is like, I guess, like UK equivalent to a Go-Gurt or something. It's like in a tube and you squeeze it out. Froobs. Froobs. Builder Yog was my favorite brand growing up. But there was this guy who I would always eat in here, and he'd see me on my Froobs sucking down the yogurt, and he'd always just
Starting point is 00:25:05 squeeze the tube like while i was it would go all over my face and my shirt and i always he did it so many times i'd be like to the point where i try and like eat it around the corner before he could see and we eventually negotiated that i would only be bullied on fridays he wasn't allowed to do it mond to Thursday. You got fruit bullied? Yeah, I got fruit. He actually ended up being one of my really good friends. Was it the dam? No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:25:37 Eventually, I'd be like, come on, it's Friday. You know what? Come on. And I'd be like, oh. And I'd just relax my hand and he'd just blast it it and depending on how much I'd opened the end of the tube Like if it was a really fine slit it would come out so forcefully Like shoot all up me like go in my eyes And I just for some reason be totally fine with it because it's on a Friday
Starting point is 00:26:02 Could you please isolate Gavin saying he would catch me sucking down my tubes. Can we just please have that? I just want that. With tubes! I heard tubes. It sounded like tubes. It's Gavin sucking away at his tubes. I like the way I negotiate my way out of it being every day though.
Starting point is 00:26:23 Scheduled bullying. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I like the way I negotiate my way up at being every day there. Oh my god. Oh, I got a new text alert noise now. This is great. My ringtone is going to be sucking down my tubes even though it's Froobz, but it sounds like tubes. Froobz. Everything is so much more fun. Frubs. It sounds like tubes. Frubs.
Starting point is 00:26:46 Everything is so much more fun. That little guy looks panicked. He is not happy. He does. On the Frub logo. It's easy to open. He's got thumbs up, but there's a panicked look on his face where he's like, please don't suck me.
Starting point is 00:27:00 He's about to get scalped. Yeah. Please don't eat my brain. Yeah, those are the shit. I just want to circle back. The Yoplait song, Give Me Yope, is based on the song, Give Me Hope, Johanna,
Starting point is 00:27:16 which is about Johannesburg in South Africa. And it's by Eddie Grant, the guy who sang Electric Avenue. Really? I didn't know that I didn't know it was the Electric Avenue guy it's the Electric Avenue guy they couldn't have used Electric Avenue that's what I'm saying
Starting point is 00:27:34 they picked the wrong Eddie Grant song for their yogurt commercial you gotta walk down two and suck down all your twos like it kind of works we can workshop that the fact that i just came up with that there's something there that's it that's the last of my notes bumble knows it's hard to start conversations hey no too basic hi there still no what about hello handsome who knew you could give yourself the
Starting point is 00:28:17 ick that's why bumble is changing how you start conversations you can now make the first move or not with opening opening moves, you simply choose a question to be automatically sent to your matches. Then sit back and let your matches start the chat. Download Bumble and try it for yourself. Wherever you're going, you better believe American Express will be right there with you. Heading for adventure? We'll help you breeze through security. Meeting friends a world away you can use your travel credit squeezing every drop out of the last day how about a 4 p.m late checkout just need a nice place to settle in enjoy your room upgrade wherever you go we'll go together that's the
Starting point is 00:28:58 powerful backing of american express visit amex.ca slash yamx. Benefits vary by card. Terms apply. Oh, man. I got so many still. I got like 100. What do you got? Oh, here's one. Do you guys know about how I've been watching movies? Yeah. Yeah, I've started movies again.
Starting point is 00:29:19 I've been watching movies. Well, I mean, 2022, it was music, right? Yeah. I'm still really into music, but I've decided that 2023, I'm going 2022, it was music, right? Yeah, I was really... I'm still really into music, but I've decided that 2023, I'm going to watch movies again because I haven't seen any movies in a few years. Okay.
Starting point is 00:29:33 So it got me thinking, if I'm going to watch all these movies, maybe it would benefit people if I did like a movie review. Okay. Of like the different movies that I see to let people know about the movie. I was going to see what you guys thought about that.
Starting point is 00:29:48 I wonder what you guys thought about their new stuff. I think it'd be newer movies, right? I just watched this movie on Hulu the other day. And I could talk about it if you'd like. It was called Gone in the Night. Are you familiar with this movie? No. I'm not familiar with Gone in the Night.
Starting point is 00:30:01 Do you know about this movie? No. It's a relatively new movie. It stars Dermot Mulroney and Winona Ryder. Okay. The famous actor and actress. You've seen them in a lot of stuff. Most recently, Dermot Mulroney
Starting point is 00:30:14 was in a ton of stuff, but he was really good in Where the Day Takes You. I don't know if you remember that movie. Will Smith was in a wheelchair in that one. Ricky Lake was in it as well. Winona Ryder, she was in a lot of stuff. Really good in Mermaids, but was most recently also in that movie with the Sad Kids.
Starting point is 00:30:34 What's it called? And then they go upside down. Oh, the Stranger Things? Stranger Things, yes. Yeah, those kids. Sad Kids. So in this movie, this movie came out, I think in like last year, this year, last year.
Starting point is 00:30:46 And I saw it. Okay. And it's about some mystery and some intrigue and some things that may or may not be happening. And, you know, I think there's some things about it that some people might like. But then also you may not like it. So I don't know. But I did see it. And so I think that there are some people that might like it probably some people that wouldn't like it so just take that into
Starting point is 00:31:07 consideration if you if you're gonna see that movie there's a good chance you may or may not like it yeah that's my review okay I I just looked up Dermot Mulrooney uh he's not who I thought it was I had somebody else completely in mind who's the American Horror Story season one guy? He was the dad in that show. What else is he in? I feel like he's like Dermot. I think he also has a name like Dermot. Is he Dermot? No, but they're very similar.
Starting point is 00:31:34 It's like the same dude. Dermot Mulroney was in The Grey. I remember him from that. That's my point of reference for him, but I don't remember. Who am I thinking of? You're thinking of, what is that guy's name? I know. Because I was going to recommend a movie that he was in, but I don't remember. Who am I thinking of? You're thinking of, what is that guy's name? I know.
Starting point is 00:31:46 Because I was going to recommend a movie that he was in, but I don't remember his name. Oh, maybe Dylan McDermott. Dylan McDermott. And what was, who did you say? Dermot Mulroney. Oh, okay. It feels, it's essentially the same. And they're probably the same age, too.
Starting point is 00:32:00 Probably. Anyway, so I figured I'd give that a shot. That was my movie review. Okay. I don't want to give away too much of the plot for the next review there's some intrigue uh there's going to be some people that are going to be on i would assume the side of winona rider probably some people that'd be on the side of dermot maroney uh you may you may feel one way or the other or end up somewhere in the middle uh anyway gone in the night it was i believe it was on hulu uh if you're looking for a movie i can't recommend that you'd like it but you might maybe not or end up somewhere in the middle. Anyway, Gone in the Night. I believe it was on Hulu. If you're looking for a movie,
Starting point is 00:32:28 I can't recommend that you'd like it, but you might. Maybe not. Anyway, next time I watch a movie, I'll let you guys know. Put that on the box. Maybe I'll do another review. You grab the DVD. You might like this, but you might not.
Starting point is 00:32:39 I don't know. Maybe. I mean, opinions are... Everybody has a different taste, right? That would be the best to see on a box. Just a review. Maybe. Opinions are... Everybody has a different taste. That would be the best to see on a box. Just a review. Jeff's face review.
Starting point is 00:32:51 They source it. Opinions may vary as the text they pull. Maybe it's just the dictionary definition of opinion. That's my goal. Is to get one of my reviews listed on a poster somewhere. It has 4.9 out of 10 on IMDb. It's probably about how... So you're not wrong. That's like halfway, right?
Starting point is 00:33:12 Yeah, about half. Probably some of the people liked it. Probably some of the people didn't. Next place in California, if that helps. I just watched Rollerball. Which one? The James Caan one or the Al Cool J one? The James Caan one or the Al Cool J one the old one how was it um I'd give it five
Starting point is 00:33:30 okay five now if you great stunts everything else dog shit nice shots of buildings too Rollerball does not look nearly I've never seen it I've only seen like the dvd box art and their roller attire is not nearly as cool as i thought it would be it's like american football
Starting point is 00:33:53 meets lacrosse meets nascar meets roller derby uh when people getting killed and blood splatter all over the place the art for it is so much cooler than what they did. I would say, best font in a film. You talking about the number? Really? Like the number six on his jersey? It's a pretty fucking cool font. Yeah, and that's the rollable text
Starting point is 00:34:15 that comes up at the beginning of the film is in that font, and everything, everywhere, even though they fly to different countries, that font has taken a... I think the movie is about that font. What is the movie about is it just like is it just an action movie is there like he needs to save his family by winning the championship or what it's about uh corporations have taken over the world and uh he's he's you know a defiant individual. Okay. Oh, what's this?
Starting point is 00:34:46 Oh, yeah, here it is. In a corporate-controlled future, an ultra-violent sport known as rollerball... Now, this is, by the way, to clear up any confusion, this is the plot of rollerball, not the plot of Gone in the Dark or Gone in the Night, which is the one I reviewed. This is Gavin's review. In a corporate-controlled future,
Starting point is 00:35:02 an ultra-violent sport known as rollerball represents the world, and one of its powerful athletes is out to defy those who want him out of the game. At some point in the film, a bunch of people take a gun... It's the story of Russell Westbrook. A bunch of people take a gun
Starting point is 00:35:20 and just start blowing up trees. And I don't really know why that scene is in there. It doesn't really... You guys might have to watch it and tell me what that's about. Now let's say if you were a film sommelier or an entertainment sommelier, Gavin, what would you pair rollerball with?
Starting point is 00:35:36 Running man. Running? Really? Have you ever seen Ice Pirates? I have. I've seen Snow Pirates. Or is it Ice Pirates ice pirates is it not snow pirates is it ice pirates we were certainly thinking of the same thing yeah it is ice pirates you're right i have seen that yeah it's good they'd be similar in tone this is like we're going into a different field. Rollerball, I think, followed up with Bill Lambeer's combat basketball for the SNES is a great one.
Starting point is 00:36:08 That's interesting. I think we're in a dystopian sports era. I watched Fast and Furious 9 on Monday. Is that the new one? I hadn't seen it. Yeah, the most recent one. I think Gavin and... The one we saw in 40 X.
Starting point is 00:36:26 Yeah, what a shitty movie. Those things suck. I'm so sad. They were so much fun. They're just not fun anymore. It's really like all the things around Paul Walker being dead, but not dead feel so awkward. They really should have just like either removed that character entirely and
Starting point is 00:36:46 never mentioned him again for after what they did. But like the kind of half step they take, like it's weird to live on. They do, but they don't like it. So the things they do in the movie makes sense with the context of knowing what happened in real life. But the idea,
Starting point is 00:37:02 imagine if you had a kid, Gavin, and you named your kid little jeff like that's just weird for like just a guy you're friends with that you still theoretically hang out with like it's so strange i guess i don't know it's just like oh it's a little bryant it's like that's weird like i get what you're doing because he's dead and it's like an in memory of for him but not within the world that you've set i've always wanted to name my kid jeff really yeah because his name would be jeff free i love it jeffrey jeffrey free jeffrey free jeffrey free because his gavin's last name is yeah yeah no it works jeffrey i i made that joke to meg once when we first started dating it was like when I was hanging out with her at SourceFed
Starting point is 00:37:46 and I was like yeah I'm gonna name a kid I'm gonna get a kid and name it Jeffrey and she didn't get the joke and just looked at me like I was a weirdo and walked off and then I think Steve Steve Zaragoza was like
Starting point is 00:38:01 Jeffrey and I was like yeah cause my name's and he cracked up and then Meg was like oh I just thought you were really excited to tell me you wanted a kid called Jeffrey. I guess I'll date you. So that's it Jeff? That's your movie review? I mean I can
Starting point is 00:38:17 dig deeper. Can I get another? How often are you watching movies? Then we can move on. I just want to know so I can anticipate how often I saw Megan in the theaters. Yeah, we talked about the M3. M3 game? Yeah, I saw that. With the numbers?
Starting point is 00:38:32 Yeah. So I saw that and I saw Gone in the Night and then those are the movies. I feel like my parents were very protective when I was younger about which movies I watched. They weren't protecting you on the fucking streets when you're getting bullied over your yogurt, but they watched the movies. Jesus. Yeah, they would always read up on the film or even watch it to make sure I could watch it.
Starting point is 00:38:57 And my mom was livid once because I was watching Rush Hour, but I watched it with the director's commentary on. because I was watching Rush Hour, but I watched it with the director's commentary on. And at one point, I think Brett Ratner's like, oh yeah, and that's the guy who gives the blowjob in Boogie Nights. And my mom was just in the room, and she was like, oh! I pulled the DVD out.
Starting point is 00:39:15 I was like, what are you watching? Even though Rush Hour is a really inoffensive film. Is it? Well, it doesn't have blowjobs in it. I feel like Rush, no, it doesn't, but I feel like there's like a crudeness. Rush Hour is a really inoffensive film. Is it? I feel like Rush... No, it doesn't, but I feel like there's a crudeness. At least I don't remember Rush Hour 1 as much, but Rush Hour 2 definitely has a lot of crudeness to it.
Starting point is 00:39:34 Do you think bamboo is actually the strongest wood? That's the one thing that has always stuck with me from Rush Hour 2. I remember watching it in theaters as a kid, and there's a scene where Jackie Chan is like, this is bamboo. This is the strongest wood. It won't break. And I just have cataloged that forever
Starting point is 00:39:50 as a fact. That's just a fact in my head. Strongest wood in the world is Australian buloke. It's got to be something that's sun-baked, right? 5060 IBF. It's an ironwood tree that is native to Australia.
Starting point is 00:40:08 The wood comes from a species of tree occurring across most of eastern and southern Australia known as the hardest wood in the world. This particular type has a jank of hardness of 5,060 IBF. I don't know that unit of measurement. Wow. That sounds like a lot of it. Should we make a baseball bat out of it? That'd be interesting. I was thinking like fireplace wood.
Starting point is 00:40:25 I'm just imagining it going on a wood turning thing like a lathe and it just smashing all the lathe up. Isn't bamboo grass anyway? Is it technically wood? Is bamboo grass? Isn't it? I don't know anything about bamboo. Eric says bamboo not even top 10.
Starting point is 00:40:42 Wow. Well I think that's because it is actually grass rather than wood so strongest grass strongest grass definitely I guess is that what Jackie Chan says in the movie though it's not but like that's just a fact I guess I can tell you
Starting point is 00:40:56 bamboo matches not at all flammable that's what I was dealing with my fireplace video do not go with the bamboo uh chop no what what were they what are they i'm blanking the word i'm matching the word no not matches i said matches it wasn't match toothpick that's the word i was looking for bamboo toothpicks christ speaking of fireplace when are you when where's your eight hour commentary i don't know oh i
Starting point is 00:41:23 thought you're gonna say where's my fireplace video i don't know where that is wait i don't put out your fireplace video no my fireplace video is not out oh i thought we had released it on social i'll double double check back on that we didn't show it didn't we yeah we did maybe it's out on social and i just didn't know i just didn't know maybe it's not i'll i'll check we'll we'll release it because it is very good. Yeah, we don't want the audience to miss that. 8-hour commentary
Starting point is 00:41:49 I'm going to do next week. You're doing it next week? Are you really? Next week, yeah. It's on my schedule. Oh, that's exciting. I had a cold thing. I was going to do it earlier,
Starting point is 00:41:58 but now it's at a point where I feel like I'll do it and then we save it for next year, right? Would it be weird to just release that now? It's so removed. I don't think it would weird i think it'd be very us to do that the whole fucking thing sucks so we can release it whenever we want to now were you pre-mad before going into
Starting point is 00:42:17 that eric was that no that was i got sideswiped because i didn't think we were going to talk about that thing i'm so mad about it. Jesus. Stupid. I think it's a great video. Eric and I came up with a new sport the other day. Oh, yeah. We were just doing something for F*** Face. Okay. What fruit or produce, what produce do you think you could throw the furthest?
Starting point is 00:42:39 Oh, okay. So you need something with some weight, and it also needs to, but not too heavy. You don't want it to be too heavy. You don't want it to be too big, but you want it to be big enough for you to get a good grip on it. You need a good surface area. Can I use the plant to whip the fruit off? Ooh.
Starting point is 00:42:57 Can Gavin... Wait, a plant to whip the fruit? Are you talking about a slingshot or a high-ally situation? Yeah, say the fruit grows on a vine and I whip the vine and propel the fruit off the end of it. I mean, what Tavon really wants to know is can he goat kick
Starting point is 00:43:12 the fruit? Do goat kicks count for distance? No, throw it. Just throw it? Okay. An orange comes to mind, but the issue with an orange is it's two things in one. Like, I feel like the peel, the cover is it's two things in one like i feel like the peel the cover of it would hinder my ability for distance what i don't think he would if i peeled it i think it would disintegrate from the it would it would explode it would erupt um
Starting point is 00:43:37 disintegrate yeah i've never heard anyone say disintegrate before yeah no that is true guys i was hoping that we would step on. You've heard me say disintegrate? No, I've heard Andrew say it that way. Yeah, I just said it. Yeah, I said it.
Starting point is 00:43:51 Huh. That's interesting. I think, yeah, I think an apple or a slicing tomato or something that's almost like fist size. You know, I guess
Starting point is 00:43:59 disintegrate works because to disintegrate is to die, right? It's like an aggressive way of disintegrating. Disintegrating. I guess so. I like that.
Starting point is 00:44:07 It's fair. I'll take this from you, Jeff. Gavin, if you get in on this dog pile, if you put one foot in this dog pile, we're going to Feet City, buddy. We're going to Feet City, you weird freak. We're going right back there. I was going to say, if you put one foot in this toilet.
Starting point is 00:44:21 No. Because you do that. And I don't want that anywhere around me i'm just saying i'm letting you know i'm letting jeff jeff can kill me for that i'm okay with that that's fair he's there not right i think uh nick said apple i think apple is actually not good i think an apple has the right size but it's not dense enough i also feel like an orange an orange maybe a cutie like you could really whip a little one um eric you had a very strong opinion that i disagree with what do you think avocado is the best throwing fruit that's really
Starting point is 00:44:51 i think that's good yeah i think a i think a hoss avocado avocado from mexico not like the crazy florida ones not like the giant florida ones like a regular avocado i think you could probably throw that the furthest i think it's i think it's the right kind of grip. I think it has the right kind of density. I think it has a center like a pit, like a baseball does. And I just think it's all set up. I could throw a tomato further
Starting point is 00:45:13 than you could throw an avocado. I do not agree with that whatsoever. Let's do it. There's no way. Here's what I think we need to do. I think we need to get together, whether this is for the Olympics or something else, but I think we need to get together
Starting point is 00:45:30 with a tape measure at a field and everybody bring your fruit or vegetable of choice and then we see, we get down to brass tacks and we see who can throw what the farthest. I think that you can't be the one to select your, I think we have to have an impartial person go to a store and buy the, what you would call, bog standard version of each of these items.
Starting point is 00:45:56 That's fine. And then we would all get these things and then see who could throw. But it's kind of like a game of Halo where you pick your weapon and then you just see, am I better with a shotgun than he is with an assault rifle? Can you throw your avocado further than I can throw my orange further than Gavin can throw his tomato
Starting point is 00:46:19 further than Nick can throw his apple? Yeah, but if I can throw a baseball further than Gavin can throw a baseball, then we're not on equal footing. And it doesn't make sense. I think what's good about it is that you don't learn anything from this. Yeah. Okay. Alright. You know, in that case,
Starting point is 00:46:34 yeah, whatever. I mean, that's a part of the decision-making process, right? You pick your weapon. You pick your poison. If you wanted to, could you eat your fruit to reshape it into something that might be better for throwing? Are you allowed to modify? I think that's a disqualification.
Starting point is 00:46:48 Yeah, I agree. I agree with everything about the avocado. I think the texture on the outside of an avocado lends itself very well to being thrown. I think the core, the solid core is great. But it's an oblong, weird shape that's not aerodynamic. Yeah, unless you spiral it like a rugbylong, weird shape that's not aerodynamic. Yeah, unless you spiral it like a rugby ball, it's going to have air resistance. See, that's the thing.
Starting point is 00:47:15 This is what I brought up to Jeff also, that I think if you showed someone a football and they'd never seen a football before, I think they would go, how do you, like, this is not aerodynamic. And then you see it fly through the air and you go, oh, never mind. I was wrong. I mean, can you throw an avocado like a football? No, I'm using it as an example of something that doesn't look like it would be aerodynamic, but however is and that you're wrong about.
Starting point is 00:47:34 But I'm saying, isn't that how you would want to throw that? You think you should throw an avocado like a football? I don't think he knows how to throw a football. Can you spiral an avocado? Who's asking who what? I'm not really stating. I was just stating to everyone. If he would throw an avocado and like spiral it.
Starting point is 00:48:00 Yeah, I was giving commentary on it. Who's asking who what? It's a grammatically correct Can that be the name of the episode? Absolutely. Have you ever thrown a football, Gavin? No, I can't do that. However they make him spiral, I don't know how to do that.
Starting point is 00:48:37 That's what I'm saying. That was sort of my point. I don't think you know how to throw a football. In your head, that makes sense, but you actually don't know what you're talking about, is what I was trying to say. It sounds like we need to teach andrew gavin how to throw a football at the same time we're teaching eric how to throw a frisbee yeah wow there's a lot of learning we can swap skills because i can hurl a frisbee i i think eric can too i don't think it's the hurling part
Starting point is 00:48:58 it's the accuracy it's not my first you'll go really far it'll just keep going the wrong way but just keep going is it different wrong way every time um no i mean typically it's it's pretty much the same wrong way so maybe if i just turn just gonna spin flip whatever you're trying to do well i have a little 90 degree turn to my left and And I'm off to the races. I mean, people would be really thrown off when you landed it in the place you wanted. It'd be kind of an oppressive trick. Right. That's what Happy Gilmore is all about, right? Sort of.
Starting point is 00:49:35 Yeah. A little run up. You eat pieces of shit for breakfast? Jeff, that's a movie. Yeah. I've seen it. Oh, speaking of breakfast, I got this.
Starting point is 00:49:48 Emily got me this for Valentine's Day. Did you guys know that my favorite basketball player, Marcus Smart, has his own cereal called Wicked Smarts? No. Isn't that cool? Does it have a commercial? I don't know. I just know I have two boxes of the cereal,
Starting point is 00:50:01 which got me thinking, what if we had cereal someday? I don't know. I haven't opened it yet to eat it. I will. We'll call it an egg. An egg. I'm not saying we should make our own cereal, but if we did, what would a
Starting point is 00:50:16 f*** face cereal be? Oh, man. It'd just have to be like Crunchy Ian's or something, wouldn't it? Crunchy Ian's?ans oh that's good i don't but flavor wise get into cereal and froobs i i would be really scared to co-create a cereal with gavin where he got any amount of flavor control yeah over what we're dealing with what do you mean he's gonna you're gonna have like salad cream cereal. Yeah. I think you're going to put little fucking diced onions in it or some
Starting point is 00:50:47 bullshit pickle that nobody wants, but you think everyone loves. Gavin's like, here's a new cereal line that did plowman nose. That would be a terrible logo. Well, here's the thing with face though, is that we all vote on it and it's two to one.
Starting point is 00:51:04 So I'm not going to be able to sneak in any ingredient, am I? That's true. I feel like it would not be a vote, and we'd all just have the ability to bring something to the table for it. No, that'd be chaos. We'd end up with freaking tots in there, wouldn't we? Yeah, this podcast isn't chaos. You're right. That's great.
Starting point is 00:51:19 We're very organized. Did we ever decide on that magnet? Or are we not talking about that in the episode yet uh we can talk about it in sausage talk but we we were gonna get the the fridge magnet made but it's too fucking expensive so we're gonna try to figure out how to make it cheaper yeah we gotta figure out how to make it oh and then jeff started throwing out other ideas for like secret other magnet it was just like we can't even get the one fucking thing made eric shut my secret magnet idea down instantly and that's fine you couldn't even get the thing made and you're already coming up with like special one-offs for it and it's like you can't do this to be fair eric
Starting point is 00:51:55 was pretty mad on the regular magnet he was he was pretty pretty mad i'm just anticipating it for the record i gave up immediately as soon as eric eric gave me a look and then he's like are you fucking serious and i was like okay no i'm not i don't want to make special magnets anymore just the bog standard fridge magnet but i don't want even a standard magnet that's the thing about the magnet it's not a bog standard magnet it's true it's a pretty fantastic magnet it's an awesome magnet but we also we can't sell it for... Nobody on Earth is going to buy a magnet for the price they want to sell it for. No.
Starting point is 00:52:29 So we need to make... Premium magnet. We need to make probably 10,000 of them to get them at a price point that would be humane to sell to other humans. Look, we were able to successfully premium up the bread clip. I was going to say, and that's a magnet, that's a fridge magnet. That's a magnet.
Starting point is 00:52:48 So we're just iterating on that, and that one turned out great. No complaints about the bread clip that wouldn't bend. This one definitely would work better than the bread clip. Well then, instant improvement. I'm excited for our office day. I've been anticipating whatever the best of is. Are you flying down for it or are you doing it remote? I'm going to be doing it remote.
Starting point is 00:53:10 Okay. I'm flying down for it. What does that mean? I'll be remote for this one. It was a good app. I felt we were wrapping up. Are we not wrapping up? How long have we been doing this? I guess we are now. I feel like I survived that one. You did. You did. And I hate it. I hate that you did. Yeah. But there's still time. We should doing this. I guess we are now. Well, no, we can keep going. I feel like I survived that one. This is way... You did. You did, and I hate it.
Starting point is 00:53:27 I hate that you did. Yeah. But there's still time. We should extend this. Do you have anything else on your list, Jeff, that you'd like to talk about? For your notes? Dude, I have so much stuff
Starting point is 00:53:34 on the list. Throw something. Let me see. Have I ever talked to you guys... I know I've talked about this in another episode. Eric says to pick one thing, so I'll pick this thing.
Starting point is 00:53:44 Have I talked to you guys about my idea? I't remember where if it's like video game talk or anima talk or podcast talk so i never know but have i talked to you guys about my idea where we all get a job at the mall together i don't i can't differentiate mall talks to be honest like we've talked about it in different times i don't know if we've talked about all getting a mall job. The mall is and isn't back, depending on where you go. For sure. I have some mall stats, actually. Did you guys know that there used to be
Starting point is 00:54:13 2,500 malls in America, and now there's only about 600? Really? If you shot a bullet off one mall, how many malls would it go over? In Nanaimo, you would hit eight. You hit all. You hit every mall.
Starting point is 00:54:27 Yeah, so the mall is back. Everybody knows that, except for the Lakeland Mall. If that mall sucks, fuck the Lakeland Mall. Don't go there. It's a waste of time. Just go to Barton Springs Mall. But I was thinking how much fun it would be if we all got jobs. I could work at the, I don't know, California Pizza Kitchen,
Starting point is 00:54:44 and Andrew could work at the sneaker store and Gavin could be a bartender at the wine bar and Eric could run a hot tub. And we'd just like meet up at lunch. Nick could work at Claire's. Yeah, and then we all just hang out and we have like mall adventures together and we like play pranks on each other and on our
Starting point is 00:55:00 breaks and we just live in the same mall and have like shitty mall jobs and just experience that like mall rats but we all had mall jobs i i feel like this is just face but in a mall can you imagine being a listener of face and you see jeff working behind the counter and then you see the american company great would it be and then instantly like all right i gotta find eric he's working around it somewhere he's at fucking suncoast selling dvds with the drop off of malls jeff are you
Starting point is 00:55:32 worried that they're going to go extinct in the near future no i think that what'll happen is that the malls that are left the like there will be a lessening of malls clearly there has already been a significant lessening of malls. I even read that it could... I think I said there's like 600 left in America. Some estimates say it could go down to as low as 150. Wow. But the malls that are left will be solid, good malls. They're going to be great malls.
Starting point is 00:55:57 Only the best will survive. Exactly. It's like too much of a good thing, maybe. And so we have to pare down to the appropriate amount of malls for the amount of malls for the amount of people that need a mall in 2023 similar things going to be happening to movie theaters in the next few years as as the middle class of movies dies out like the mid-range movie dies out and we and movie theaters are existing only on blockbusters and this year there really aren't
Starting point is 00:56:21 going to be any huge blockbusters that come out i think you're going to see a lot of movie theater it's funny. They were just talking about this in the Bill Simmons podcast the other day. But I think a lot of movie theaters and malls maybe will close, but the ones that are left will be like higher-end experiences. I would like that. That's honestly like the biggest barrier I have to movie theaters now is there's like zero care about the experience once you buy a ticket. People talking.
Starting point is 00:56:44 After you go to an alamo draft house or an ipix or one of those kind of gold class cinemas uh i'm not just trying to shell alamo but like there's a lot of different theaters that provide that experience uh there's a there's a small chain called violet crown cinema that's really good that's in a couple of states uh once you have that experience of like a high-end movie experience where you like you can sit in a reclining chair and eat a pizza and drink a beer or a diet coke it changes it changes movies for you alamo alamo's i think gone downhill the people just stand in front of me now it used to be that the staff would just take the paper piss off come back dump food while ducking
Starting point is 00:57:24 and piss off now they're just like strolling by like hey who ordered the sandwich and they'll just stand there really i haven't had that problem you know i had that no they just sort of like mosey about in front of the screen now i do the same thing whenever i go do a movie as well so i can't criticize that i like to just walk into random theaters and say, who ordered this sandwich? Who had the sandwich? I mean, in fairness, before they used to check what people ordered, they would often give
Starting point is 00:57:52 my food to other people, and I'd just have to watch them eat it, because it just pissed right off. Like when Ray ate my pizza. You're still upset about that. That was my one thing, Eric. So I don't know how feasible that is, but if you guys all want to get mall jobs
Starting point is 00:58:09 with me at the same mall one day, I bet it would be a lot of fun for 30 to 45 days. I think that's fine, but we should all have line of sight to at least one other person. Oh, I totally agree. We should all be on the same floor
Starting point is 00:58:22 or close to each other, except for if one person has to work downstairs at the Old Navy, we just make fun of them. There's a hierarchy to the mall job. As long as one of us can see one of the other us, it's fine.
Starting point is 00:58:37 It just seems like it would be so much fun. 45 days? 30 to 45 days, we'd get it out of our system and then we'd probably all quit. And we could carpool? Oh, we'd definitely carpool. That'd be part of the experience. It would have to be. I think that'd be the best part. Gotta carpool, yeah. And then we could bitch about
Starting point is 00:58:54 our coworkers and we could play pranks on them. We could play pranks on each other. I mean, we'd have so much fun. You might be the only person writing mall fan fiction in your head I think about it a lot
Starting point is 00:59:09 that's so good just like the idea of us still making this podcast but being like you wouldn't believe what happened while I was cleaning the fryers this week I was trying to convince Gavin for a little while I saw a convenience store for sale not too far
Starting point is 00:59:26 from where we lived back when we lived together. And I remember trying to convince you, Gavin, that we should buy a convenience store and then just run a convenience store and then just put webcam up in the convenience store and that's the show. It's just Gavin and I run a convenience store. It's just like clerks the show.
Starting point is 00:59:42 I would love that. Yeah, but we didn't do it. Eric, get the credit card. Eric, we buy a convenience store. We'll go buy a convenience store. Eric, will you be a reference for me if I fill an application in the mall? I gotta get a job at Foot Locker first and then I can be a reference for you.
Starting point is 00:59:59 That's how I have good standing within the mall. Okay, that's cool. Maybe he can put in a good word for me at the finish line. Or lids. I want to work at lids. Oh. No, I need to work at lids. People just ask me, how does this hat feel? I don't fucking know. I have no idea.
Starting point is 01:00:17 I can't wear a hat that's big enough for this brain. I'll work at Gap. Why Gap? Is that a throwback to what I said with the logo? Is that the joke? Yeah. Yeah, okay.
Starting point is 01:00:39 What was that response from that annoying response from Andrew? Why Gap? I was going to say I want to work an egg, but I just said gap. That would have been funnier. Yeah. Thanks for the feedback. You're welcome. I can't wait to become workers in a mall.
Starting point is 01:01:00 Here's why. I don't want to work in there, Andrew. Let's have a few people between me and him. Andrew, you have to work at Old Navy. Oh, Andrew, you have to work at old Navy. Oh man. You have to work down. Oh, am I that crotchety?
Starting point is 01:01:10 Did I come across that crotchety? I'm an old Navy guy now. Yeah. Oh man. Pants all day long. Oh man. Oh my God. I was,
Starting point is 01:01:18 Oh, honestly, the, the pause Gavin and then the annoyance is I couldn't remember what, what it was. An egg, an egg, right? That annoyance is I couldn't remember what it was. An egg, right? I couldn't remember either. It was my pause.
Starting point is 01:01:30 Yeah, I was like, what was the thing that Jeff said? We should probably wrap up. Eric, I think he's pretty mad that we haven't stopped yet. One last thing. You guys know how when they start a podcast sometimes or a video like you watch on YouTube, they'll clip a funny part from like halfway through, like a funny 45 seconds, and they'll tap it.
Starting point is 01:01:52 They'll tag it onto the beginning to like promo that moment to get you excited about watching it. Uh-huh. What if we did that for an episode of F*** Face, but we record it linearly? So we have to start the episode in the middle of a funny story, and then we just figure out a way to start and then tell that story
Starting point is 01:02:12 30 minutes later in the podcast. You're a f***ing maniac. That's a f***ing maniac. That is the craziest. That's f***ing crazy. Like, a good example for this episode, I could have just said, I want to work at Gap, right? And then we have to find Andrew a bit annoyed, and then we find out how to get there naturally. It's exactly like-
Starting point is 01:02:30 I think that's an amazing idea. Thank you. It's exactly like when Gavin and I, when we worked at Achievement Hunter, we had this weekly series in the video game Minecraft. And we would make these elaborate Let's Plays where we'd build these games in Minecraft. And for the hundredth episode of that series to celebrate, we made this huge golden pyramid and we made this scavenger hunt to, for all the people in achievement hunter to compete in it. And then the winner received these three items. And then the three items were meant to help you on episode 200.
Starting point is 01:03:00 And then we had no idea what episode 200 was, but we just threw three random items in there and said we'll figure it out in a year I don't think we ever did but it's kind of that same principle right okay that reminds me of that series I wanted to do on Achievement Hunter where we would chill out right we would
Starting point is 01:03:16 now that was dismissive oh wow that was some fucking gas energy right there how did that compare to my gap dismissive. Oh, wow. Is that how I sound? Is that worse? How did that compare to my gap? Because that was brutal. You know, Eric, you're right.
Starting point is 01:03:35 That's right. Just keep going if we keep doing like this. Anyway, thanks, Gavin. I think it's a brilliant idea, too, and I think we should do it sometime in the near future. Let's do it next episode. Next episode,. I think it's a brilliant idea, too, and I think we should do it sometime in the near future. Let's do it next episode. Next episode, we're going to start with the,
Starting point is 01:03:49 we're going to clip the funniest moment from the next episode and we're going to attack it at the beginning of the episode. We just don't know what that is, so we'll have to invent it in the moment and then figure out
Starting point is 01:03:56 how to retrofit it into the episode 20 minutes in. Thank you for listening to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast. Be on the lookout for a lot of supplemental content coming pretty soon.
Starting point is 01:04:06 We're going to film the golden Gerbler video. That's going to go in the, in the golden Gerbler's. We're pretty excited about that. We got sausage talk coming up. We'll be watching condor man sometime in the nearish future. I got an idea. I want to pitch to you guys down the road about another movie series.
Starting point is 01:04:20 We could do, uh, got an idea about watching some live sports with the audience. We could talk about sometime soon. In addition to a sports podcast that Andrew and I are testing out that may or may not see the light of day, please give us 5 to 10 to 50 to 100 to 1,000 stars when you're rating us.
Starting point is 01:04:37 And please, rate us. I understand there's a Brit and a Canadian here, but this is an American podcast, and Americans exist to be rated. You know that, right? So give us a good one, and we'll see you next week. Hey, guys. Major League Fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face. Andrew is a nut guy.
Starting point is 01:04:56 Gavin makes special thumbsticks. Is Gavin still a foot guy? VCK is represented well. Patton has the most toilet paper. And once again Andrew does not eat the pencil all that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.