Regulation Podcast - High Stakes for Gavin // Who's Asking Who What? [144]
Episode Date: March 8, 2023Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about Eric is thinking about being mad, AN EGG, Geoff's naming, ANMA, Geoff's Life Hack, food dice, haircuts, give me Yop Me Mama, bullied on fridays, 2023 is for movies,... Rollerball, Fast 9, Geoff Free, throwing a fruit the furthest, Wicked Smarts, premium magnet, and getting mall jobs. Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to ffacebits@gmail.com. Download the public audio version https://link.chtbl.com/f--kface. Already a FIRST Member and need your Private RSS feed for this show? Go here: http://bit.ly/FIRSTRSS. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This is a Rooster Teeth production.
Hello and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast.
My name is Jeff Ramsey. With me as always, Andrew Pantin, Gavin Free,
Nick and Eric who is anticipating anger.
This is episode 144.
It sounds like Eric is pre-mad.
He's pre-mad.
He's pre-mad.
I'm just going.
It's like pre-med, but with an A.
I'm just going in to our office day knowing what office day has been previously and what it was last time and i am
preparing myself i'm bracing and getting ready for what it's going to be why don't you just do it
do it live just do it on the night why would you want to get riled up do what live what are you
talking about get mad so you're saying don't brace for it at all. Just let it hit you.
Well, what's better?
Being mad most of the time in preparation.
I'm not mad right now.
I'm thinking about what I have to prepare for.
That is the most mad I've heard somebody declare.
This sucks.
But I agree with you.
I think, you know, if you brace for being mad,
it takes less out of you when you get there
because you're prepared for it
i'm imagining eric leaving his house with a smile and getting behind the wheel
it just gets closer to the office just starts frowning now i want to give gavin top marks for
immediately deflecting this episode onto you eric because i think this is the highest stakes any
episode has ever been for gavin because if you have back-to-back weird guy performances i think you're just a weird guy like we talked about being late how long would take to
get out of being in the i'm a late guy house being in a weird guy house i think it would take equally
long to get out of so deflecting immediately to somebody else great move i think you bring it up
really isn't helping though it's really a waste of pressure.
Well, I'm just stating the pressure that's there.
See, now I have a clean slate.
Yeah.
But you have... You just shot on my slate.
What do you mean?
The slate was set...
I mean, the slate was so set from the last one.
I think you're the weird guy.
No, I just flubbed.
That's not a weird thing.
People flub all the time.
I wouldn't even say that was the best flub I've ever seen.
How about this?
I was thinking about our initials the other
day, and the five of us,
if you take the first letter from each of our
first names, it spells
an egg.
You were thinking about
Andrew
It's not you
Andrew, Nick, Eric
Jeff and Jeff
Jeff might be the weird guy in this one
I was sitting around thinking about
Our initial
Jeff, thank you so much
You're welcome
That's what I'm here for
When you said an egg And you visualized an egg Jeff, thank you so much. You're welcome. That's what I'm here for.
When you said an egg and you visualized an egg, did you see anything specific, like a logo for it?
Did anything pop in your mind?
Anyone?
Because I had something pop in mine.
How did this not come up in our Dumpty face?
I don't know.
That's what I agree with.
We're the boys of Dumpty, literally, or an egg. And we're an egg. Yeah with the boys of Dumpty literally are an egg
and we're an egg yeah the boys
of Dumpty are an egg maybe this is
my weird thing I see an egg is like
the Gap logo but it's an an egg
like that but it says an egg that's just what I
saw that's what I envisioned
that's not what I see
if an egg was a store
it would look like the Gap logo in my
head
that's just that was my vision I was curious if you guys have any brand affiliates so where did you get If Anag was a store, it would look like the Gap logo in my head.
That was my vision.
I was curious if you guys had any brand affiliation.
So where did you get, first of all,
how did you get to our initials being set that way?
Were you just trying to figure out different possibilities?
Or how did that happen?
I think about that stuff all the time.
Okay.
That's like when I, well, the way I came to it is I was thinking about trying to come up with a name for the podcast you and I recorded recently, Andrew.
This is a lot of teasing for a thing that might not be heard by anybody.
It's not a big, it's just like we were recording like a sports fandom thing.
It was like a test.
I don't know if we'll release it or not.
test i don't know if we'll release it or not i'm sure we'll release it but we we need to put at least uh one full episode in uh before we'll we'll determine if it's releasable or not yeah but i was
just trying to come up with a name and that's like the first thing i always do like i always love
that like like jeff and and and gus and uh gavin uh were always 3g i always thought that was kind
of funny like coming up with clever...
Whenever I'm trying to think of a name for something,
one of the things I look at is,
what do our initials spell?
Could I make something out of that?
Clever.
And so I was doing that,
and I thought,
I've never considered that for F*** Face.
What letters do I have?
And then I came up with An Egg.
Hmm.
You think about names a lot,
and you've named stuff Achievement Hunter and F*** Face?
That's well, listen, I think about names a lot, so I never come up.
Rooster Teeth?
I had nothing to do with Rooster Teeth.
Anma?
Listen, listen, I had nothing to do with the name Rooster Teeth. That's Bernie Burns.
I had nothing to do with the name Anma. That's Gustavo Sorolla.
I wanted to call it Good Morning Gus, which is a great podcast name.
And I stand by F*** Face as a phenomenal podcast name.
And I use Achievement Hunter as an example of why I need to think more about naming shit.
So I don't name anything else Achievement Hunter again.
So yes, I put a lot of thought in the naming stuff because I don't want to be saddled with a dipshit name like Achievement Hunter for the rest of my life.
I got
a name for you for an alternate instead of
Good Morning Gus, Jeff. If you would have
went Good Evening Gus,
you would have got all your initials.
All three. GG.
Perfect symmetry.
Unfortunately, it's a show about drinking coffee in the morning.
And Gus doesn't want
his name in the title. I'm saving Emma. Did I tell you that? No. I feel like it's a show about drinking coffee in the morning. And Gus doesn't want his name in the title.
I'm saving Emma.
Did I tell you that?
No.
I feel like it's the one thing Rooster Teeth makes that I would be a fan of if I didn't work here.
Like, that's the only thing the whole company makes that you'd be a fan of?
Well, I mean, I'm involved in so much else of it.
I'm talking about something that I don't touch.
Yeah, you have zero involvement in. Yeah. That's kind of how I feel about, like, in so much else of it. I'm talking about something that I don't touch. You have zero involvement in.
That's kind of how I feel about
30 Morbid Minutes.
Yeah, right? So I listened to the
first Anima when it came out, and I was like,
oh, this is my shit. I can't wait
to listen to this. And one day I'm going to listen to all of it.
I assume when it's long over.
Yeah, that'll really help
their metrics.
Good friend.
But I determined during that, Eric has the best job at Rooster Teeth.
If anyone who has to get pre-mad, I feel like that's a tough case to make.
Yeah, Eric, how do you feel about that? I like my job.
You get to do Anima.
Yeah.
In order for me to do a podcast with Jeff and Gus, I have to do two separate podcasts.
Do you want to be on Anima?
No, no, no.
I don't want to touch it.
I'm a fan of it.
Well, I mean, if there was an episode that was like covering an era of time
that I was involved in, but otherwise, no.
That's kind of the whole show.
Yeah.
You would be appropriate for almost every episode.
Yeah.
That's yeah.
You'd really just slot in.
He sure loves Anma.
He is the biggest Anma guy.
I know he supports it.
He loves it.
He does all of it.
I appreciate that you like it.
He's listening to one episode.
I think it's great that I,
I,
I appreciate it.
Cause it's the stuff,
it's the stuff that I started liking at the beginning,
like 2003 when I joined the website and it's like that era still being made.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
I mean,
it's definitely,
you get like a lot of stories that are on Mike.
And I do really think there are times where I think I have the job that
people who love rooster teeth would love to have.
Cause there are a lot of stories that you get off Mike that you're never
going to get on Mike and you go,
oh man.
Yeah.
That's a, yeah, we'll hang on to that one.
Don't ever say it.
It's pretty good.
I got us.
I got to say, Eric, I think the best, the absolute best part of that other podcast I
do, Anma that you produce is the drive to the production and the drive back from the
production.
It's so fun.
The car rides are the best because that's when we tell you the the parts that we couldn't tell in the podcast or reframe it.
Yeah.
It's so good.
It's a lot of fun.
It's like so.
And I get a free cup of coffee every Monday.
So it's like, you know, that's really all I'm looking for.
It's great.
Yeah.
I feel like if that job existed and that was the only thing you did, Eric, you would have the perfect job at Rooster Teeth.
I agree.
And it's like that for Face Jam a lot of the time too like driving to get the food and driving back and then well we don't really go anywhere or do anything and then when we do go
somewhere it's just a lot of questions about why isn't this set up and i don't know i didn't know
it was supposed to be where are we gonna plug in this baseball launcher yeah a lot of that stuff and it's like
what is this for we're not getting anything out of this so you would say you really like
animal cabin you would say you're you enjoy it you're you're you're saving it to use your own
i would say if anything it's content made for me okay well what's really interesting is that
content not made for you, apparently feet,
feet content, you don't plan on touching at all, which is identical to the content that
is made for you.
So when are you actually interacting with content?
When are you enjoying it?
What are you, are you only watching and listening to things you kind of like?
What's the line for you?
Well, I feel like while working here here i'm often just proofing stuff
no i don't mean here i mean in general because it sounds like the things you really enjoy you're
saving are there other shows you're saving or is this it this is actually a good it was a weird
approach but it's a good question similarly to how i i have yet to finish schitt's creek because
i like that it's still out there
I still have half of the last season to watch
when you guys were talking about over the
final like norm stuff right
yeah it's like you want it to be out there but you don't necessarily
want to listen to it yet or watch it yeah
I'm gonna say this didn't go the way I
want it I just wanted to slam you again for the feet
thing but it went into a real sincere
place which is nice
but it's not what I wanted. I got my
goalie gloves on this episode, baby.
Hey,
if you guys don't mind, I
have a life hack I'd like to share with you.
Oh, please. This is definitely
our hacking era. I love it. Yeah.
And Gavin, I will say
in full transparency, I did
run this by Gavin last night when we were playing Call of Duty.
It is a...
I think he liked it.
I think it's a real life hack.
We'll see what you guys think about it.
And this is, to be fair, this isn't exactly my life hack.
It's kind of Emily's.
But I definitely benefit from it.
So I don't know about you guys, but I get really bored of going to the grocery store.
Just like you just go to the same grocery store, you walk down the same aisles, you pick up the
same shit, and it just becomes very repetitious, very rote, very boring, very laissez-faire,
right? And we always lament that we're bored going grocery shopping and they wish we could
spice it up a little bit.
So Emily came up with this idea.
She found this app or website where you can...
It's like a randomizer, and you can put in different stuff and randomize it.
So she has this big wheel, and it's got like 10 grocery stores from around town on it,
all over town.
Could be HEB, could be Central Market, could be Whole Foods, could be Arlen's,
could be Fresh Plus, could be Randall's.
We got a lot of grocery stores.
And anytime we have to go grocery shopping,
we now have to spin that wheel.
And whichever grocery store we land on,
that's the grocery store we have to go shop at.
So if it's like across town, like it was the other day,
we have to drive all the way over to East 7th and Pleasant Valley
to go to that HEB because that's where the wheel landed. And that
keeps it from being repetitious or boring.
I think that's great. I don't
think it's a life hack, but I think that's a lot of fun.
I love the idea. It's a life hack to keep
grocery stores from being boring.
Add some randomness.
Hacks, I feel like, usually save
time or money, right? Is that what
defines the hack?
Or increase joy or happiness.
I don't think that's typically a measurement for a hack.
I don't know why it couldn't be.
I just, I don't.
Hmm.
I like it.
I don't want it to seem like I'm negative on this.
I think that's a great idea.
I think that's so much fun.
That'd make it more exciting.
It could be annoying.
It just is great in so many ways.
But I don't think you're hacking
necessarily i think you've just come up with a system that is more enjoyable for doing a mundane
task but it's not an alternate path around it you're still grocery shopping yeah but you're
doing it in a different and new way to make it more interesting and enjoyable yeah i just don't
think it's a hack personally but i love it andrew have you suggested any hacks since your mcdonald's thing no and i
still think that my mcdonald's thing which you destroyed is the closest thing to a hack we've
had on the ship i can't believe that i started the hack thing not and i didn't know your complete
incompetence of knowing what a hack
is it really would change the context of that entire conversation if I had the knowledge I know
now which is not a life hack don't write that down Kevin having having knowledge that is we've
covered that with the songs it's not it's just good it's a good thing to have but it's not a hack
so there you go that's my that's my life hack well no it's i have more questions
about the life hack okay sure is it just grocery stores or is it also items i mean you could apply
it to anything we actually have it for valentine's day because we similarly when we when we don't
have anything at home to cook and we have to order food for dinner like i'll be honest i'm sick of
all food like nothing ever sounds good i never get excited
about anything and so when it's like seven o'clock at night we realized we had nothing to eat and
we're like what do you want you want chinese mexican what do you pizza and we're always like
i don't want any of it what are you on you we just have to fucking just like our like not even argue
just like come up with something some kind of food to fucking eat to pass the night.
She bought me these dice that just have different kinds of food on it. So now we just roll
the dice and whatever we land on,
that's what we eat. Last night we had Mexican.
That's fun too.
I'd like to take this to the extreme.
I'd like to land it on one of the things
that you didn't want.
Yeah, but I had to eat it because I had food dice.
I like the idea of like you guys wanting
butter just to have in the house or milk but you can't because the wheel hasn't landed on milk
landed on it yet yeah yeah i think you can only eat like maybe you get like maybe we do a
competition where we come up with some sort of six-sided or 12-sided die and then you get like
four dice rolls and then you have to eat those four things for a week.
Yeah.
Maybe you get 10 dice rolls,
and you just have to make what you can out of what you roll.
The ingredients you have?
Yeah, not, like, necessarily.
Mmm.
That's interesting.
Mmm.
That's fun.
I don't think that's a hack, but that's a great game.
I think it'd be better with haircuts.
Hmm.
What?
You mean, like, you have a wheel of styles,
and you have to spin it, and... No, you just, like, just put on, on like 10 different barbershops that you've never been to and just roll the dice oh you're talking
why is that why is that better it's just higher stakes it's pretty low stakes because a lot of
grocery stores are pretty no this isn't a hack eric this is just a way to make the game more
i think it would be funnier if you had hairstyles on the board, but you went to your regular person.
Guess I'm getting a mullet.
Why doesn't every barbershop
have a wheel of eight haircuts?
If I was a barber,
I would offer
like a 25% discount
if people were willing
to spin the wheel.
I'd absolutely,
that'd be a great time.
That might be a hack almost. That's getting in the hack territory. absolutely that'd be a great time that might be a hack almost that's getting
in the hack territory is that hack territory that's made me hacked here i don't know but if
you could force somebody to get a hairstyle they don't want in an attempt for a discount i think
that's great i would say we should do this with the bingo balls but you would have the most normal
haircut andrew come out and i would have a mohawk on the side of my head.
The problem would be we cannot rely on my ability to convey
what the haircut is unless it's like a
mullet. If you have to give me instructions
I don't know how to describe getting my own, like
taking it back to the first episode. That's why I always
end up with a guy. I just say do
what you usually do. Because I don't know how to
describe haircuts.
Do you have a picture of your hair
in its form that you like the most?
No.
I don't.
When the guy's done cutting your hair,
what do you want to end up with?
Short, but not like super buzzed,
but like short.
But not buzzed.
But short. Keep going. Well well that's it that's the
loop that's i don't know what else to say you don't know how to describe i have no idea i'm
so bad at it that's why i didn't get my haircut for like well i mean the pandemic also didn't
help but like once we went to lockdown i couldn't go to the retirement home it was like two and a
half three years before i got my it was the longest I've ever gone without a haircut.
And I like the guy I have now.
It's great.
But I haven't been back since I got it cut last year.
I'm coming up on like a year since I got my haircut.
So you're happy with what is currently on your head?
I need to get it cut.
But once again, it's the thing of,
I've only been to this person once.
It's been a year.
They're not going to remember.
I'm trying to remember what I said.
So that means you still got your
own trim. Didn't you
trim your own hair recently or a few months ago?
Sometimes I would cut parts
of it when it would just get too long.
It would be my face. So you still have some of that?
I haven't done that in a while,
but I really do need to book an appointment
to get it chopped down.
It was shorter than I would have wanted last time,
but I kind of liked it. So I don't even how to how to describe that at that point i'm just completely
lost when it comes to hair okay do you worry about like where you get your hair cut is that a concern
for you because like if i went to a different place it would i'd have anxiety about it because
i'm bad at it but generally speaking i don't think i'd care i mean it's always comfort in having a
person that you know like i used to not get my haircut in in america i used to just wait until i'd be back
in england what well yeah you i mean like there's some artistry to it and uh you develop a
relationship with your hairstylist they understand your head and your hair and what you like and
uh and they remember that from time to time and so it's
like yeah i i can i can understand wanting to go to the same person over and over again yeah i can't
do it it's just when you travel across the world when a flight is involved that's weird i'm not
flying to get a haircut i'm just doing it while i'm there just coincidentally just have oh just
gonna go in get my haircut while i'm here type thing. Yeah, I'd say for the first two years I lived in the US
I only got my haircut in England.
And then I just
got bored and went to Supercuts next to the
office.
Life hack.
Life hack Supercuts.
Life hack, spend 15 bucks instead of
2,000.
That is like traveling somewhere specifically for your haircut like getting on a flight that is extravagant yeah to be clear i never did that no you didn't but
okay like i like the idea of being being in a place where you feel comfortable enough financially
that you would take a flight to get your haircut but not financially comfortable enough to pay for
first class like you're at the back
of the plane. You're in, like, the discount seats.
I would say that level of wealth doesn't
exist. If
you've got the money to fly somewhere for a haircut,
you have the money to fly the hairdresser to you.
That's true.
I agree. Yeah.
That's a fair line.
They're cutting your hair in
your kitchen or something.
Yeah. that works.
I'm jealous of you, Jeff, because you just,
Emily just cuts your hair, right, at this point?
Yes, I'm very fortunate that
I live with a
stylist. It's super
convenient, and I definitely
feel very lucky and fortunate
every day of my life. Do you have something
to unveil this episode, Gavin? Are you still working
towards whatever it is you're building?
Oh I've worked on something over the last couple
of days and I will be presenting it tomorrow.
Oh!
So it's not ready today. Okay. That's disappointing.
I have to wait tomorrow for it.
You want me to do it now?
Well why would you save it for tomorrow?
Is there a reason why?
It's just always nice, I think,
sort of, what is it?
Office day, that I have something to show.
A little thing, like an edit or a...
Sure.
Is this the best of?
Or is the best of still in the works?
This is the best of.
The best of.
Okay.
It's pretty short.
I guess it's tomorrow.
Really?
Is it just noises I made?
I showed
Jeff my list of episodes and time codes
and Jeff could not figure out what was
going on I have no clue huh I guess
enjoy people that are listening to this
at some point in the future Gavin's best
of face don't get your hopes up.
Do you guys have anything else on your list to talk about today?
Not really that I want.
Not that I have.
I always want to give everybody a chance to check out their list before the episode's over
because you always forget and then you look and you're like,
God damn it, I waited a week.
I had a childhood memory kind of ruined. i don't think it's that necessarily interesting but people of my age i think
gavin you might be a little bit too old do you ever see the yoplait give me yope in the morning
commercials there are these like iconic and people that are around my age grew up on these
yoplait commercials where it was give give me, yope me mama.
And they would,
it was just like,
it's this like people are freeze frame and it's like kids being like,
give me yope my mama.
Ooh,
yope mama.
Like it's the whole thing about having yogurt in the morning.
And I was watching,
I was doing like a YouTube music trivia thing. And they're like,
name this song.
And it was the give me yope my mama song.
And I was like,
what the fuck? This is a real song and i looked into it it's a song about like the apartheid
like it is a very serious song that they they took and covered for a yogurt commercial in the morning
like it is they completely yeah that's er Eric just posted a Yop Me Mama link.
It was always the fun, goofy yogurt song.
But knowing that they just changed the lyrics to like a very serious song.
That's way worse than I throw my sandwich in the air sometimes.
Yeah.
It's so bad.
It has ruined it.
So I'm sorry for anybody else who grew up with that commercial and remembers it.
And it's now ruined.
That's crazy. Yeah. yeah i was i don't it was insane that they did it i guess people were really mad at the artists at the time for giving up the rights for them to do that but then there's
like six other iterations of people doing it there was uh oh what's his name like roy miller or
something there was a football club that like their slogan became give me hope and then like a guy's name uh in the same like tune
odd but just ruined it ruined a childhood it was like a top tier commercial for me growing up you'd
see it all the time dead what is your favorite flavor of yogurt not a yogurt guy. Same, dude. I don't like vanilla. Not a fan.
What a boring answer.
Oh, Jesus.
I mean, it's true.
I mean, vanilla is not exciting.
Yeah, but... It's not a criticism.
Going with what Eric wrote,
like, you hate yogurt,
but you like yogurt commercials?
Well, because I'm a kid.
Like, it's a fun...
Like, you just see it all the time.
It was like a jingle
that would get stuck in your head.
Did you have a bad yogurt experience? No, really touched yogurt i because yeah i just i was
not like typically allowed to have it i had something i desired i had yogurt in kindergarten
and i didn't like it and the teacher made me eat it anyway and then so i had to eat it and then we
were painting and i started to feel sick and i threw up on the girl i haven't eaten yogurt since the
kindergarten you haven't eaten yogurt since kindergarten and it was yo play yeah oh let's
yo play fuck yogurt fuck that fucking teacher and i'm i feel so bad for the little girl i threw up
on i used to get uh little yogurts in my packed lunch at school, and I would have Froobs,
which is like, I guess, like UK equivalent to a Go-Gurt or something.
It's like in a tube and you squeeze it out.
Froobs.
Froobs.
Builder Yog was my favorite brand growing up.
But there was this guy who I would always eat in here, and he'd see me on my Froobs
sucking down the yogurt, and he'd always just
squeeze the tube like while i was it would go all over my face and my shirt and i always he did it
so many times i'd be like to the point where i try and like eat it around the corner before he
could see and we eventually negotiated that i would only be bullied on fridays
he wasn't allowed to do it mond to Thursday. You got fruit bullied?
Yeah, I got fruit.
He actually ended up being one of my really good friends.
Was it the dam?
No, no, no.
Eventually, I'd be like, come on, it's Friday.
You know what?
Come on.
And I'd be like, oh.
And I'd just relax my hand and he'd just blast it it and depending on how much I'd opened the end of the tube
Like if it was a really fine slit it would come out so forcefully
Like shoot all up me like go in my eyes
And I just for some reason be totally fine with it because it's on a Friday
Could you please isolate Gavin saying he would catch me sucking down my tubes.
Can we just please have that?
I just want that.
With tubes!
I heard tubes.
It sounded like tubes.
It's Gavin sucking away at his tubes.
I like the way I negotiate my way out of it being every day though.
Scheduled bullying.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I like the way I negotiate my way up at being every day there.
Oh my god.
Oh, I got a new text alert noise now.
This is great.
My ringtone is going to be sucking down my tubes even though it's Froobz,
but it sounds like tubes.
Froobz. Everything is so much more fun. Frubs. It sounds like tubes. Frubs.
Everything is so much more fun.
That little guy looks panicked.
He is not happy.
He does.
On the Frub logo.
It's easy to open.
He's got thumbs up, but there's a panicked look on his face where he's like, please don't
suck me.
He's about to get scalped.
Yeah.
Please don't eat my brain.
Yeah, those are the shit.
I just want to circle back.
The Yoplait song, Give Me Yope,
is based on the song,
Give Me Hope, Johanna,
which is about Johannesburg in South Africa.
And it's by Eddie Grant,
the guy who sang Electric Avenue.
Really? I didn't
know that I didn't know it was the Electric Avenue
guy it's the Electric Avenue guy
they couldn't have used Electric Avenue
that's what I'm saying
they picked the wrong Eddie Grant
song for their yogurt
commercial
you gotta walk down two and suck down all your twos
like it kind of works we can workshop that the fact that i just came up with that
there's something there
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I got so many still.
I got like 100.
What do you got?
Oh, here's one.
Do you guys know about how I've been watching movies?
Yeah.
Yeah, I've started movies again.
I've been watching movies.
Well, I mean, 2022, it was music, right?
Yeah.
I'm still really into music, but I've decided that 2023, I'm going 2022, it was music, right? Yeah, I was really... I'm still really into music,
but I've decided that 2023,
I'm going to watch movies again
because I haven't seen any movies in a few years.
Okay.
So it got me thinking,
if I'm going to watch all these movies,
maybe it would benefit people
if I did like a movie review.
Okay.
Of like the different movies that I see
to let people know about the movie.
I was going to see what you guys thought about that.
I wonder what you guys thought about their new stuff.
I think it'd be newer movies, right?
I just watched this movie on Hulu the other day.
And I could talk about it if you'd like.
It was called Gone in the Night.
Are you familiar with this movie?
No.
I'm not familiar with Gone in the Night.
Do you know about this movie?
No.
It's a relatively new movie.
It stars Dermot Mulroney
and Winona
Ryder. Okay. The famous actor
and actress. You've seen them in a lot of stuff.
Most recently, Dermot Mulroney
was in a ton of stuff, but he was really good in
Where the Day Takes You. I don't know if you remember that movie.
Will Smith was in a wheelchair in that one.
Ricky Lake was in it as well.
Winona Ryder,
she was in a lot of stuff.
Really good in Mermaids,
but was most recently also in that movie with the Sad Kids.
What's it called?
And then they go upside down.
Oh, the Stranger Things?
Stranger Things, yes.
Yeah, those kids.
Sad Kids.
So in this movie, this movie came out,
I think in like last year, this year, last year.
And I saw it.
Okay.
And it's about some mystery and some intrigue and some things that may or may not be happening.
And, you know, I think there's some things about it that some people might like.
But then also you may not like it.
So I don't know.
But I did see it.
And so I think that there are some people that might like it probably some people that wouldn't like it so just take that into
consideration if you if you're gonna see that movie there's a good chance you may or may not
like it yeah that's my review okay I I just looked up Dermot Mulrooney uh he's not who I thought it
was I had somebody else completely in mind who's the American Horror Story season one guy? He was the dad in that show.
What else is he in?
I feel like he's like Dermot.
I think he also has a name like Dermot.
Is he Dermot?
No, but they're very similar.
It's like the same dude.
Dermot Mulroney was in The Grey.
I remember him from that.
That's my point of reference for him,
but I don't remember.
Who am I thinking of?
You're thinking of, what is that guy's name? I know. Because I was going to recommend a movie that he was in, but I don't remember. Who am I thinking of? You're thinking of, what is that guy's name?
I know.
Because I was going to recommend a movie that he was in, but I don't remember his name.
Oh, maybe Dylan McDermott.
Dylan McDermott.
And what was, who did you say?
Dermot Mulroney.
Oh, okay.
It feels, it's essentially the same.
And they're probably the same age, too.
Probably.
Anyway, so I figured I'd give that a shot.
That was my movie review.
Okay. I don't want to give away too much of the plot for the next review there's some intrigue uh there's going to be some people that are going to be on i would assume the side of winona rider probably
some people that'd be on the side of dermot maroney uh you may you may feel one way or the
other or end up somewhere in the middle uh anyway gone in the night it was i believe it was on hulu
uh if you're looking for a movie i can't recommend that you'd like it but you might maybe not or end up somewhere in the middle. Anyway, Gone in the Night. I believe it was on Hulu.
If you're looking for a movie,
I can't recommend that you'd like it,
but you might.
Maybe not.
Anyway, next time I watch a movie,
I'll let you guys know. Put that on the box.
Maybe I'll do another review.
You grab the DVD.
You might like this, but you might not.
I don't know.
Maybe.
I mean, opinions are...
Everybody has a different taste, right?
That would be the best to see on a box. Just a review. Maybe. Opinions are... Everybody has a different taste.
That would be the best to see on a box.
Just a review.
Jeff's face review.
They source it.
Opinions may vary as the text they pull.
Maybe it's just the dictionary definition of opinion.
That's my goal.
Is to get one of my reviews listed on a poster somewhere.
It has 4.9 out of 10 on IMDb.
It's probably about how...
So you're not wrong. That's like halfway, right?
Yeah, about half. Probably some of the people liked it.
Probably some of the people didn't.
Next place in California, if that helps.
I just watched Rollerball.
Which one? The James Caan one
or the Al Cool J one? The James Caan one or the Al Cool J one the old one
how was it
um I'd give it five
okay five
now if you
great stunts everything else
dog shit
nice shots of buildings too
Rollerball does not look nearly
I've never seen it I've only seen like the dvd box art and
their roller attire is not nearly as cool as i thought it would be it's like american football
meets lacrosse meets nascar meets roller derby uh when people getting killed and blood splatter
all over the place the art for it is so much cooler than what they did.
I would say, best font in a film.
You talking about the number?
Really?
Like the number six on his jersey?
It's a pretty fucking cool font.
Yeah, and that's the rollable text
that comes up at the beginning of the film
is in that font,
and everything, everywhere,
even though they fly to different countries,
that font has taken a...
I think the movie is about that font.
What is the movie about is it just like is it just an action movie is there like he needs to save his family by winning the championship or what it's about uh corporations have taken over
the world and uh he's he's you know a defiant individual. Okay. Oh, what's this?
Oh, yeah, here it is.
In a corporate-controlled future,
an ultra-violent sport known as rollerball... Now, this is, by the way, to clear up any confusion,
this is the plot of rollerball,
not the plot of Gone in the Dark or Gone in the Night,
which is the one I reviewed.
This is Gavin's review.
In a corporate-controlled future,
an ultra-violent sport known as rollerball
represents the world,
and one of its powerful athletes
is out to defy those who want him out of the game.
At some point in the film,
a bunch of people take a gun...
It's the story of Russell Westbrook.
A bunch of people take a gun
and just start blowing up trees.
And I don't really know why that scene is in there.
It doesn't really...
You guys might have to watch it and tell
me what that's about. Now let's say if you were
a film sommelier or an
entertainment sommelier, Gavin, what would you
pair rollerball with?
Running man.
Running? Really?
Have you ever seen
Ice Pirates? I have.
I've seen Snow Pirates.
Or is it Ice Pirates ice pirates is it not snow pirates is it ice pirates we were certainly thinking of the same thing
yeah it is ice pirates you're right i have seen that yeah it's good they'd be similar in tone
this is like we're going into a different field. Rollerball, I think, followed up with Bill Lambeer's combat basketball for the SNES is a great one.
That's interesting.
I think we're in a dystopian sports era.
I watched Fast and Furious 9 on Monday.
Is that the new one?
I hadn't seen it.
Yeah, the most recent one.
I think Gavin and...
The one we saw in 40 X.
Yeah, what a shitty movie.
Those things suck.
I'm so sad.
They were so much fun.
They're just not fun anymore.
It's really like all the things around Paul Walker being dead,
but not dead feel so awkward.
They really should have just like either removed that character entirely and
never mentioned him again for after what they did.
But like the kind of half step they take,
like it's weird to live on.
They do,
but they don't like it.
So the things they do in the movie makes sense with the context of knowing
what happened in real life.
But the idea,
imagine if you had a kid,
Gavin, and you named your kid little jeff
like that's just weird for like just a guy you're friends with that you still theoretically hang out
with like it's so strange i guess i don't know it's just like oh it's a little bryant it's like
that's weird like i get what you're doing because he's dead and it's like an in memory of for him
but not within the world that you've set i've always wanted to name my kid jeff really yeah because his name would be jeff free i
love it jeffrey jeffrey free jeffrey free jeffrey free because his gavin's last name is yeah yeah
no it works jeffrey i i made that joke to meg once when we first started dating it was like when I was hanging out with her at SourceFed
and I was like
yeah I'm gonna name a kid
I'm gonna get a kid and name it Jeffrey
and she didn't get the joke
and just looked at me like I was a weirdo
and walked off
and then I think Steve
Steve Zaragoza was like
Jeffrey and I was like yeah cause my name's
and he cracked up and then Meg was like
oh I just thought you were
really excited to tell me you wanted a kid called
Jeffrey. I guess I'll date
you.
So that's it Jeff? That's your movie review?
I mean I can
dig deeper. Can I get another?
How often are you watching movies? Then we can move on.
I just want to know so I can anticipate how often
I saw Megan in the theaters.
Yeah, we talked about the M3.
M3 game?
Yeah, I saw that.
With the numbers?
Yeah.
So I saw that and I saw Gone in the Night
and then those are the movies.
I feel like my parents were very protective
when I was younger about which movies I watched.
They weren't protecting you on the fucking streets when you're getting bullied over your yogurt, but they watched the movies.
Jesus.
Yeah, they would always read up on the film or even watch it to make sure I could watch it.
And my mom was livid once because I was watching Rush Hour, but I watched it with the director's commentary on.
because I was watching Rush Hour,
but I watched it with the director's commentary on.
And at one point, I think Brett Ratner's like,
oh yeah, and that's the guy who gives the blowjob in Boogie Nights.
And my mom was just in the room,
and she was like, oh!
I pulled the DVD out.
I was like, what are you watching?
Even though Rush Hour is a really inoffensive film.
Is it?
Well, it doesn't have blowjobs in it. I feel like Rush, no, it doesn't, but I feel like there's like a crudeness. Rush Hour is a really inoffensive film. Is it?
I feel like Rush... No, it doesn't,
but I feel like there's a crudeness.
At least I don't remember Rush Hour 1 as much,
but Rush Hour 2 definitely has a lot of crudeness to it.
Do you think bamboo is actually the strongest wood?
That's the one thing that has always stuck with me
from Rush Hour 2.
I remember watching it in theaters as a kid,
and there's a scene where Jackie Chan is like,
this is bamboo.
This is the strongest wood. It won't break.
And I just have cataloged that forever
as a fact. That's just a fact in my head.
Strongest wood in the world
is Australian
buloke.
It's got to be something that's sun-baked,
right? 5060
IBF. It's an ironwood tree that is
native to Australia.
The wood comes from a species of tree occurring across most of eastern and southern Australia known as the hardest wood in the world.
This particular type has a jank of hardness of 5,060 IBF.
I don't know that unit of measurement.
Wow.
That sounds like a lot of it.
Should we make a baseball bat out of it?
That'd be interesting.
I was thinking like fireplace wood.
I'm just imagining it going on a
wood turning thing like a lathe and it just
smashing all the lathe up.
Isn't bamboo grass anyway?
Is it technically wood?
Is bamboo grass?
Isn't it? I don't know anything about bamboo.
Eric says bamboo not even top 10.
Wow.
Well I think that's because it
is actually grass
rather than wood so
strongest grass strongest grass
definitely I guess is that what Jackie Chan says
in the movie though it's not but like that's
just a fact I guess I can tell you
bamboo matches not at all
flammable that's what I was dealing with my
fireplace video
do not go with the bamboo
uh chop no what what were
they what are they i'm blanking the word i'm matching the word no not matches i said matches
it wasn't match toothpick that's the word i was looking for bamboo toothpicks christ
speaking of fireplace when are you when where's your eight hour commentary i don't know oh i
thought you're gonna say where's my fireplace video i don't know where that is wait i don't put out your
fireplace video no my fireplace video is not out oh i thought we had released it on social i'll
double double check back on that we didn't show it didn't we yeah we did maybe it's out on social
and i just didn't know i just didn't know maybe it's not i'll i'll check we'll we'll release it
because it is very good.
Yeah, we don't want
the audience to miss that.
8-hour commentary
I'm going to do next week.
You're doing it next week?
Are you really?
Next week, yeah.
It's on my schedule.
Oh, that's exciting.
I had a cold thing.
I was going to do it earlier,
but now it's at a point
where I feel like I'll do it
and then we save it
for next year, right?
Would it be weird
to just release that now?
It's so removed. I don't think it would weird i think it'd be very us to do that the whole
fucking thing sucks so we can release it whenever we want to now were you pre-mad before going into
that eric was that no that was i got sideswiped because i didn't think we were going to talk
about that thing i'm so mad about it. Jesus. Stupid.
I think it's a great video.
Eric and I came up with a new sport the other day.
Oh, yeah.
We were just doing something for F*** Face.
Okay.
What fruit or produce, what produce do you think you could throw the furthest?
Oh, okay.
So you need something with some weight, and it also needs to, but not too heavy.
You don't want it to be too heavy.
You don't want it to be too big,
but you want it to be big enough for you to get a good grip on it.
You need a good surface area.
Can I use the plant to whip the fruit off?
Ooh.
Can Gavin...
Wait, a plant to whip the fruit?
Are you talking about a slingshot
or a high-ally situation?
Yeah, say the fruit grows on a vine
and I whip the vine and propel the fruit
off the end of it. I mean,
what Tavon really wants to know is can he goat kick
the fruit? Do goat kicks
count for distance? No, throw
it. Just throw it? Okay.
An orange comes to mind,
but the issue with an orange is it's two
things in one. Like, I feel like the peel, the cover is it's two things in one like i feel like
the peel the cover of it would hinder my ability for distance what i don't think he would if i
peeled it i think it would disintegrate from the it would it would explode it would erupt um
disintegrate yeah i've never heard anyone say disintegrate before yeah no that is true guys
i was hoping that we would step on.
You've heard me say
disintegrate?
No, I've heard Andrew
say it that way.
Yeah, I just said it.
Yeah, I said it.
Huh.
That's interesting.
I think, yeah, I think
an apple or a slicing
tomato or something
that's almost like
fist size.
You know, I guess
disintegrate works
because to disintegrate
is to die, right?
It's like an aggressive
way of disintegrating.
Disintegrating.
I guess so.
I like that.
It's fair.
I'll take this from you, Jeff.
Gavin, if you get in on this dog pile,
if you put one foot in this dog pile,
we're going to Feet City, buddy.
We're going to Feet City, you weird freak.
We're going right back there.
I was going to say, if you put one foot in this toilet.
No.
Because you do that.
And I don't want that anywhere around me i'm just saying i'm letting
you know i'm letting jeff jeff can kill me for that i'm okay with that that's fair he's there
not right i think uh nick said apple i think apple is actually not good i think an apple has the right
size but it's not dense enough i also feel like an orange an orange maybe a cutie like you could
really whip a little one um eric you had a very strong
opinion that i disagree with what do you think avocado is the best throwing fruit that's really
i think that's good yeah i think a i think a hoss avocado avocado from mexico not like the crazy
florida ones not like the giant florida ones like a regular avocado i think you could probably throw
that the furthest i think it's i think it's the right kind of grip.
I think it has the right kind of density.
I think it has a center like a pit,
like a baseball does.
And I just think it's all set up.
I could throw a tomato further
than you could throw an avocado.
I do not agree with that whatsoever.
Let's do it.
There's no way.
Here's what I think we need to do.
I think we need to get together,
whether this is for the Olympics or something else,
but I think we need to get together
with a tape measure at a field
and everybody bring your fruit or vegetable of choice
and then we see, we get down to brass tacks
and we see who can throw what the farthest.
I think that you can't be the one to select your,
I think we have to have an impartial person go to a store
and buy the, what you would call,
bog standard version of each of these items.
That's fine.
And then we would all get these things
and then see who could throw.
But it's kind of like a game of Halo
where you pick your weapon and then you just see,
am I better with a shotgun than he is with an assault rifle?
Can you throw your avocado further than I can throw my orange
further than Gavin can throw his tomato
further than Nick can throw his apple?
Yeah, but if I can throw a baseball
further than Gavin can throw a baseball,
then we're not on equal footing.
And it doesn't make sense. I think what's good about it
is that you don't learn anything from this.
Yeah.
Okay. Alright. You know, in that case,
yeah, whatever.
I mean, that's a part of the decision-making process, right?
You pick your weapon. You pick your poison.
If you wanted to, could you eat your
fruit to reshape it into something
that might be better for throwing?
Are you allowed to modify?
I think that's a disqualification.
Yeah, I agree.
I agree with everything about the avocado.
I think the texture on the outside of an avocado lends itself very well to being thrown.
I think the core, the solid core is great.
But it's an oblong, weird shape that's not aerodynamic.
Yeah, unless you spiral it like a rugbylong, weird shape that's not aerodynamic.
Yeah, unless you spiral it like a rugby ball, it's going to have air resistance.
See, that's the thing.
This is what I brought up to Jeff also, that I think if you showed someone a football and they'd never seen a football before, I think they would go, how do you, like, this is not
aerodynamic.
And then you see it fly through the air and you go, oh, never mind.
I was wrong.
I mean, can you throw an avocado like a football?
No, I'm using it as an example
of something that doesn't look like it would be aerodynamic,
but however is and that you're wrong about.
But I'm saying, isn't that how you would want to throw that?
You think you should throw an avocado like a football?
I don't think he knows how to throw a football.
Can you spiral an avocado?
Who's asking who what?
I'm not really stating.
I was just stating to everyone.
If he would throw an avocado and like spiral it.
Yeah, I was giving commentary on it.
Who's asking who what?
It's a grammatically correct
Can that be the name of the episode?
Absolutely.
Have you ever thrown a football, Gavin?
No, I can't do that.
However they make him spiral, I don't know how to do that.
That's what I'm saying.
That was sort of my point. I don't think you know how to throw a football.
In your head, that makes sense,
but you actually don't know what you're talking about,
is what I was trying to say.
It sounds like we need to teach andrew gavin how to throw a football at
the same time we're teaching eric how to throw a frisbee yeah wow there's a lot of learning we can
swap skills because i can hurl a frisbee i i think eric can too i don't think it's the hurling part
it's the accuracy it's not my first you'll go really far it'll just keep going the wrong way but just keep going
is it different wrong way every time um no i mean typically it's it's pretty much the same
wrong way so maybe if i just turn just gonna spin flip whatever you're trying to do
well i have a little 90 degree turn to my left and And I'm off to the races. I mean, people would be really thrown off when you landed it in the place you wanted.
It'd be kind of an oppressive trick.
Right.
That's what Happy Gilmore is all about, right?
Sort of.
Yeah.
A little run up.
You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?
Jeff, that's a movie.
Yeah.
I've seen it.
Oh, speaking of breakfast,
I got this.
Emily got me this for Valentine's Day.
Did you guys know that my favorite basketball player,
Marcus Smart, has his own cereal called Wicked Smarts?
No.
Isn't that cool?
Does it have a commercial?
I don't know.
I just know I have two boxes of the cereal,
which got me thinking,
what if we had cereal someday?
I don't know. I haven't opened it yet
to eat it. I will.
We'll call it an egg.
An egg.
I'm not saying we should make our own cereal,
but if we did, what would a
f*** face cereal be?
Oh, man.
It'd just have to be like Crunchy Ian's or something,
wouldn't it?
Crunchy Ian's?ans oh that's good i don't
but flavor wise get into cereal and froobs i i would be really scared to co-create a cereal
with gavin where he got any amount of flavor control yeah over what we're dealing with what
do you mean he's gonna you're gonna have like salad cream cereal. Yeah. I think you're going to put little fucking diced onions in it or some
bullshit pickle that nobody wants,
but you think everyone loves.
Gavin's like,
here's a new cereal line that did plowman nose.
That would be a terrible logo.
Well,
here's the thing with face though,
is that we all vote on it and it's two to one.
So I'm not going to be able to sneak in any ingredient, am I?
That's true.
I feel like it would not be a vote, and we'd all just have the ability to bring something to the table for it.
No, that'd be chaos.
We'd end up with freaking tots in there, wouldn't we?
Yeah, this podcast isn't chaos.
You're right.
That's great.
We're very organized.
Did we ever decide on that magnet?
Or are we not talking about that in the episode yet uh we can talk about it in sausage talk but we we were gonna get the the fridge magnet made
but it's too fucking expensive so we're gonna try to figure out how to make it cheaper yeah we gotta
figure out how to make it oh and then jeff started throwing out other ideas for like secret other
magnet it was just like we can't even get the one fucking thing made eric shut my secret
magnet idea down instantly and that's fine you couldn't even get the thing made and you're
already coming up with like special one-offs for it and it's like you can't do this to be fair eric
was pretty mad on the regular magnet he was he was pretty pretty mad i'm just anticipating it
for the record i gave up immediately as soon as eric eric gave me
a look and then he's like are you fucking serious and i was like okay no i'm not i don't want to
make special magnets anymore just the bog standard fridge magnet but i don't want even a standard
magnet that's the thing about the magnet it's not a bog standard magnet it's true it's a pretty
fantastic magnet it's an awesome magnet but we also we can't sell it for... Nobody on Earth is going to buy a magnet
for the price they want to sell it for.
No.
So we need to make...
Premium magnet.
We need to make probably 10,000 of them
to get them at a price point
that would be humane to sell to other humans.
Look, we were able to successfully premium up the bread clip.
I was going to say, and that's a magnet, that's a fridge magnet.
That's a magnet.
So we're just iterating on that, and that one turned out great.
No complaints about the bread clip that wouldn't bend.
This one definitely would work better than the bread clip.
Well then, instant improvement.
I'm excited for our office day.
I've been anticipating whatever the best of
is. Are you flying down for it
or are you doing it remote? I'm going to be doing it remote.
Okay. I'm flying down for
it. What does that mean? I'll be remote for this one.
It was a good app. I felt we were
wrapping up. Are we not wrapping up? How long have we
been doing this? I guess we are now.
I feel like I survived that one.
You did. You did. And I hate it. I hate that you did. Yeah. But there's still time. We should doing this. I guess we are now. Well, no, we can keep going. I feel like I survived that one. This is way... You did.
You did, and I hate it.
I hate that you did.
Yeah.
But there's still time.
We should extend this.
Do you have anything else on your list, Jeff,
that you'd like to talk about?
For your notes?
Dude, I have so much stuff
on the list.
Throw something.
Let me see.
Have I ever talked to you guys...
I know I've talked about this
in another episode.
Eric says to pick one thing,
so I'll pick this thing.
Have I talked to you guys about my idea? I't remember where if it's like video game talk or anima talk
or podcast talk so i never know but have i talked to you guys about my idea where we all get a job
at the mall together i don't i can't differentiate mall talks to be honest like we've talked about it
in different times i don't know if we've talked about all getting a mall job. The mall is
and isn't back, depending on where you go.
For sure.
I have some mall stats, actually. Did you guys know
that there used to be
2,500 malls in America, and now there's
only about 600? Really?
If you shot a bullet off one mall,
how many malls would it go over?
In Nanaimo, you
would hit eight.
You hit all.
You hit every mall.
Yeah, so the mall is back.
Everybody knows that, except for the Lakeland Mall.
If that mall sucks, fuck the Lakeland Mall.
Don't go there.
It's a waste of time.
Just go to Barton Springs Mall.
But I was thinking how much fun it would be if we all got jobs.
I could work at the, I don't know, California Pizza Kitchen,
and Andrew could work at the
sneaker store and Gavin could
be a bartender at the wine bar
and Eric could run a hot tub. And we'd just like meet up at lunch.
Nick could work at Claire's. Yeah, and then
we all just hang out and we have like mall
adventures together and we like
play pranks on each other and on our
breaks and we just live in the
same mall and have like shitty mall
jobs and just experience
that like mall rats but we all had mall jobs i i feel like this is just face but in a mall
can you imagine being a listener of face and you see jeff working behind the counter
and then you see the american company great would it be and then instantly like all right i gotta
find eric he's working around
it somewhere he's at fucking suncoast selling dvds with the drop off of malls jeff are you
worried that they're going to go extinct in the near future no i think that what'll happen is that
the malls that are left the like there will be a lessening of malls clearly there has already been
a significant lessening of malls. I even read that it could...
I think I said there's like 600 left in America.
Some estimates say it could go down to as low as 150.
Wow.
But the malls that are left will be solid, good malls.
They're going to be great malls.
Only the best will survive.
Exactly.
It's like too much of a good thing, maybe.
And so we have to pare down to the appropriate amount of malls
for the amount of malls for the
amount of people that need a mall in 2023 similar things going to be happening to movie theaters in
the next few years as as the middle class of movies dies out like the mid-range movie dies out
and we and movie theaters are existing only on blockbusters and this year there really aren't
going to be any huge blockbusters that come out i think you're going to see a lot of movie theater
it's funny.
They were just talking about this in the Bill Simmons podcast the other day.
But I think a lot of movie theaters and malls maybe will close,
but the ones that are left will be like higher-end experiences.
I would like that.
That's honestly like the biggest barrier I have to movie theaters now is there's like zero care about the experience once you buy a ticket.
People talking.
After you go to an
alamo draft house or an ipix or one of those kind of gold class cinemas uh i'm not just trying to
shell alamo but like there's a lot of different theaters that provide that experience uh there's
a there's a small chain called violet crown cinema that's really good that's in a couple of states
uh once you have that experience of like a high-end movie experience where you like
you can sit in a reclining chair and eat a pizza and drink a beer or a diet coke it changes it
changes movies for you alamo alamo's i think gone downhill the people just stand in front of me now
it used to be that the staff would just take the paper piss off come back dump food while ducking
and piss off now they're just like strolling by
like hey who ordered the sandwich and they'll just stand there really i haven't had that problem
you know i had that no they just sort of like mosey about in front of the screen now
i do the same thing whenever i go do a movie as well so i can't criticize that i like to just
walk into random theaters and say, who ordered this sandwich?
Who had the sandwich? I mean, in fairness,
before they used to check what people ordered,
they would often give
my food to other people, and I'd just have to watch
them eat it, because
it just pissed right off. Like when Ray ate my
pizza.
You're still upset about that.
That was my one
thing, Eric. So I don't know how feasible that is,
but if you guys all want to get mall jobs
with me at the same mall one day,
I bet it would be a lot of fun
for 30 to 45 days.
I think that's fine,
but we should all have line of sight
to at least one other person.
Oh, I totally agree.
We should all be on the same floor
or close to each other,
except for if one person has to work
downstairs at the Old Navy,
we just make fun of them.
There's a hierarchy
to the mall job.
As long as one of us can see one of the other
us, it's fine.
It just seems like it would be so much fun.
45 days?
30 to 45 days, we'd get it out of our system
and then we'd probably all quit. And we could carpool?
Oh, we'd definitely carpool.
That'd be part of the experience. It would have to be.
I think that'd be the best part. Gotta carpool,
yeah. And then we could bitch about
our coworkers and we could
play pranks on them.
We could play pranks on each other.
I mean, we'd have so much fun.
You might be the only
person writing mall fan fiction
in your head
I think about it a lot
that's so good
just like the idea of us still
making this podcast but being like
you wouldn't believe what happened while I was cleaning the fryers
this week
I was trying to convince
Gavin for a little while I saw a
convenience store for sale not too far
from where we lived back
when we lived together. And I remember trying to convince you, Gavin,
that we should buy a convenience store
and then just run a convenience store
and then just put webcam up
in the convenience store and that's the show.
It's just Gavin and I run a convenience store.
It's just like clerks the show.
I would love that. Yeah, but we didn't do it.
Eric, get the credit card.
Eric, we buy a convenience store.
We'll go buy a convenience store.
Eric, will you be a reference for me
if I fill an application in the mall?
I gotta get a job at Foot Locker first
and then I can be a reference for you.
That's how I have good standing within the mall.
Okay, that's cool.
Maybe he can put in a good word for me at the finish line.
Or lids. I want to work at lids.
Oh.
No, I need to work at lids.
People just ask me, how does this hat feel?
I don't fucking know. I have no idea.
I can't wear a hat that's big enough
for this brain.
I'll work at Gap.
Why Gap?
Is that a throwback to what I said with the logo?
Is that the joke?
Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
What was that response from that annoying response from Andrew?
Why Gap?
I was going to say I want to work an egg, but I just said gap.
That would have been funnier.
Yeah.
Thanks for the feedback.
You're welcome.
I can't wait to become workers in a mall.
Here's why.
I don't want to work in there, Andrew.
Let's have a few people between me and him.
Andrew, you have to work at Old Navy. Oh, Andrew, you have to work at old Navy.
Oh man.
You have to work down.
Oh,
am I that crotchety?
Did I come across that crotchety?
I'm an old Navy guy now.
Yeah.
Oh man.
Pants all day long.
Oh man.
Oh my God.
I was,
Oh,
honestly,
the,
the pause Gavin and then the annoyance is I couldn't remember what,
what it was.
An egg, an egg, right? That annoyance is I couldn't remember what it was. An egg, right?
I couldn't remember either.
It was my pause.
Yeah, I was like, what was the thing that Jeff said?
We should probably wrap up.
Eric, I think he's pretty mad that we haven't stopped yet.
One last thing.
You guys know how when they start a podcast sometimes
or a video like you watch on YouTube,
they'll clip a funny part from like halfway through,
like a funny 45 seconds, and they'll tap it.
They'll tag it onto the beginning to like promo that moment
to get you excited about watching it.
Uh-huh.
What if we did that for an episode of F*** Face,
but we record it linearly?
So we have to start the episode in the middle of a funny
story, and then we just figure
out a way to start and then tell that story
30 minutes later in the podcast.
You're a f***ing maniac.
That's a f***ing maniac. That is the
craziest. That's f***ing crazy.
Like, a good example for this episode,
I could have just said, I want to work at Gap,
right? And then we have to find Andrew a bit annoyed, and then we find out how to get there naturally.
It's exactly like-
I think that's an amazing idea.
Thank you.
It's exactly like when Gavin and I, when we worked at Achievement Hunter, we had this weekly series in the video game Minecraft.
And we would make these elaborate Let's Plays where we'd build these games in Minecraft. And for the hundredth episode of that series to celebrate,
we made this huge golden pyramid and we made this scavenger hunt to,
for all the people in achievement hunter to compete in it.
And then the winner received these three items.
And then the three items were meant to help you on episode 200.
And then we had no idea what episode 200 was,
but we just threw three random items in there and said we'll figure it out in a year
I don't think we ever did but it's kind of
that same principle right
okay that reminds me of that series
I wanted to do on Achievement Hunter where
we would chill out right
we would
now that was
dismissive
oh wow
that was some fucking gas energy right there how did that compare to my gap dismissive. Oh, wow. Is that how I sound?
Is that worse?
How did that compare to my gap?
Because that was brutal.
You know, Eric, you're right.
That's right.
Just keep going if we keep doing like this.
Anyway, thanks, Gavin.
I think it's a brilliant idea, too, and I think we should do it sometime in the near future.
Let's do it next episode. Next episode,. I think it's a brilliant idea, too, and I think we should do it sometime in the near future.
Let's do it next episode.
Next episode,
we're going to start with the,
we're going to clip the funniest moment
from the next episode
and we're going to attack it
at the beginning of the episode.
We just don't know what that is,
so we'll have to invent it
in the moment
and then figure out
how to retrofit it
into the episode 20 minutes in.
Thank you for listening
to another episode
of the F*** Face Podcast.
Be on the lookout
for a lot of supplemental content
coming pretty soon.
We're going to film the golden Gerbler video.
That's going to go in the,
in the golden Gerbler's.
We're pretty excited about that.
We got sausage talk coming up.
We'll be watching condor man sometime in the nearish future.
I got an idea.
I want to pitch to you guys down the road about another movie series.
We could do,
uh,
got an idea about watching some live sports with the audience.
We could talk about sometime soon.
In addition to a sports podcast that Andrew and I are testing out
that may or may not see the light of day,
please give us 5 to 10 to 50 to 100 to 1,000 stars
when you're rating us.
And please, rate us.
I understand there's a Brit and a Canadian here,
but this is an American podcast, and Americans exist to be rated.
You know that, right?
So give us a good one, and we'll see you next week.
Hey, guys.
Major League Fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face.
Andrew is a nut guy.
Gavin makes special thumbsticks.
Is Gavin still a foot guy?
VCK is represented well.
Patton has the most toilet paper.
And once again
Andrew does not eat the pencil
all that and more on next week's episode of
F*** Face