Regulation Podcast - In the Ham Zone // Confidence of a Much Dumber Man [27]

Episode Date: December 2, 2020

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about license plates, 3 marathons in a week, Andrew's comfort mountain pillow predicament, and more. Sponsored by Tushy (http://hellotushy.com/face). Follow F**kface on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/fuckfacepod/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

here's what i want to i got a question and then a comment based on that question here's my question what time were we recording today 3 30 okay well i'd like to i'd like to be noted then on the record that when I showed up into the group at 3.25, Gavin was there five minutes early and that greatly distressed me. It was super inconsiderate of you to be early, sir. You might as well have been late. I was horrified.

I expect you to be exactly on time every time. Not before. Andrew said the same thing to me. He was like, Jesus, you're early. I was like, well, yeah, you know, I was doing some work right here in front of my computer downloading some stuff. So I thought I'd just drop in because, you know, I'm not technically

here yet, but I am physically here. So why not be a little bit early? Also, didn't we move the damn podcast by half an hour for Eric, who's not here? Yes, we did. So we moved it half an hour so he could be here. He's not here. So we've just lost half an hour for no reason.

Hey, I don't know where this podcast began, but you asked me how your car was doing, Gavin. I was telling you it was doing great. And that the only time I drive it is on the interstate. And then I laughed at myself because the next time I drive it on the interstate will be when I take it to the appointment to drop it back off at the dealer again for the second time in three weeks. So the last time was some sort of clear coat, right? Well, it was a clear coat.

And then also the brakes were squealing a little bit. And so I took it in and I had them take a look at it. And they said the brakes were fine and stuff. And then day before yesterday, I was driving it and I got an error message. Your brake pads are worn. take to the dealer immediately and they fucking told me listen i've been and they're nice people i'm gonna have a if i get to it i got i got my flat tire story i want to tell too i didn't get to last week also nice people i'm not trying to beat up on any of these people in the service industry they had excellent customer service but the motherfucking guy stood there

and looked me right in the eyes and said, yeah, they checked out your brake pads and the calipers and everything is fine. Looks good. A little bit of squeaking is normal in that kind of car. I take him at their word. It probably is, but I can't believe I used up enough brake pad

six days later for the brake pads to be so worn that the car's like, pull over immediately. Do not drive. You will die. I feel like as technology advances and cars get more clever, they get more whiny. Like you never would have known that your brake pads were worn on an older car. You would have just carried on driving.

Yeah, you just wait until your brakes freeze and then you careen off a cliff or something. That's how you know when you go off the road. Or you can't stop. Imagine someone just careening over a cliff and at that point the error message flashes up, check your brake pads. It's like the ad for explaining why it's needed. The tech is there.

Like the most extreme commercial ever. You don't want this to be you. It's just somebody driving off the side of a cliff. We've innovated for your safety. Considering we're still in the first sort of 15 to 20 percent of the podcast you want to do an intro before we do the intro can i just ask how do i cough now what's the protocol on coughing i need to cough i've needed to cough for like 90 seconds now how do i do i mute the discord do i just just cough? You weren't talking there. You could have just

walked away from the mic, coughed into a corner and come back. I would make way more noise walking away from the mic than I would if I just coughed. It's a real dilemma now. How are you still talking?

Just, okay. Hey, all right, here we go. Keep your mouth away from the mic. No, no, I have this. I'm going to go away. Andrew, don't listen yet. I have this. Okay.

Do you remember the photo you sent Gavin and I last week, which I don't know if we should release or not, but definitely Gavin's drawing of it. Do you remember the photo you sent of the eight pillows on top of each other? Yes. Grab one of your many, many, many pillows and cough into the pillow. I have to get up to do that.

I'm going to make more noise getting up to do that than I would if I just coughed. I'm just curious. I think I have a mixer. Can I move on the mixer? That's part of my question. Just unplug your computer, cough, and then plug it back in. Great. I need to cough.

What do I do here? Fucking cough! Okay, okay. Oh, that was wild. That was no joke. No, I had a real cough. How long were you holding on to that cough? Oh, honestly, like two minutes.

It was a long time. I'm like, what do I do? I can't believe you were talking so smoothly with that stuck in your throat. That was like a wheezer. It was in the chamber. I still have a little bit. I was just there. I was cocked.

I was listening to Jeff's car troubles. I was like, I don't know what to do. You need to get the rest out. Oh, man. There's still more to come. No, I'm good. I'm good. I think I'm good. While we're talking about cars, another thing I wanted to talk about last time,

and this is quick, so I'll just get through it, since we're on the car subject. Do you guys have a favorite license plate you've ever seen in your life? Like a personalized license plate that sticks with you? No. Gavin? I can't be the only one that pays with you. No. Gavin, can you yell one?

I can't be the only one that pays attention to that stuff. Not that I'd registered. I've never been like, that's a sweet fucking license plate. Let me remember that. Let's save storage for that. I know that I've seen them, but they don't register as funny enough to store long term. I checked them in RAM, and I binned them after I shut down. Well, let me tell you

what I think the funniest license plate of all time is. And then I'll tell you the second funniest because I saw it a couple weeks ago. The funniest license plate

I ever saw in my life I think was on the FARC forums or like on FARC.com way back in the day or maybe the Something Awful forums like before Rooster Teeth.

But a long time ago, the state of Florida, they had six letters or numbers on their license plate, three on the left and three on the right. And in the middle was an orange, you know, because Florida grows oranges, right? And so somebody had a license plate. I never saw it in person.

I saw the photo online. Somebody had a license plate that was A55, the orange, RGYgy which spells ass orgy okay and that money was driving around the state of florida with a license plate that says ass orgy which i think is i mean that was probably 20 years ago i saw that and i'm still laughing about it and i guarantee you if i said ass orgy to Gus, a guy we work with, he, uh, he would start laughing immediately too, because we used to, we used to laugh at, at this donkey, uh, flaring its teeth that said gobble boners and a gif.

And then the ass orgy license plate. It was like our two favorite things in the world. Well, the other day, and by the way, that's a tough one to beat. And I certainly haven't ever beaten it because it's like it's it's it's dirty humor right which is always hilarious it's clever because they're incorporating a non uh letter into the yeah a number and a fruit yeah it yeah a number and a fruit and it's it's it's like edgy because they they got one by the dmv right which makes you like it even more but what is the orange on like when you're filling it out do you just type what you want it to be like a55 rgy a55 rgy the orange is just it's stamped always in the middle it's always in the middle i probably not anymore i i haven't paid attention to their license plates anymore but you know like license plates have uh like te, Texas has a little state of Texas in

the middle. And, like, I think, like, Illinois has a picture of Abraham Lincoln, state of Lincoln, right? I'm pretty sure that South Dakota would have the Mount Rushmore. And just, like, let's be honest, dirty humor aside, if you take a second and think about ass orgies, that's be honest. Dirty humor aside, if you take a second and think about ass orgies, that's just funny. It's like, I want to have an orgy, but located solely in my or someone else's ass. That's like, screw the other orifices. We got no interest in that stuff.

This is straight to the A. Anyway, when I was on my road trip to Detroit and back, I saw another I want to say I was in Kentucky. I saw another license plate that I thought was hilarious. Not nearly as funny as Ass Orgy, but it got me wondering if you guys had ever seen a funny license plate. And obviously neither of you are

clever enough to remember funny things. Or to pay attention when you leave your house. But I saw a license plate that just said ham fan. What's that in reference to? I don't know, dude. I think it might be a reference to them liking ham. Because what else could it be a reference to?

Just H-A-M-F-A-N. Yeah, I don't know. I think if it was a West Ham football team, but that would be unlikely. I doubt it's the West Ham football team in Kentucky or Tennessee. I think it's a car driving around with somebody who really, really likes ham. And where did you see this plate, Jeff? I think I was either in Kentucky or Tennessee. I'm not sure which.

It was one of those two states. He may have been some sort of pork baron. Could have been a pork baron, right? But what, like, ham fan? It's just fun to say. Do you think there are people listening that have plates they're proud of that were like, oh, what if he saw my plate? That could have been a real moment for some.

Fucking, what if ham fan is out there? That's what I'm saying. Dude, if you're listening, ham fan, I want to know. Here's what I want to know. I want you to contact me, and I want you to let me know the genesis of this of this license plate unless it's something really lame

like you're a fan of a baseball player whose nickname is Ham I want it to be pork related it needs to be funny if it's not pork related, if it's a mundane answer just don't contact me I don't want it to be spoiled stop writing the email now

why haven't you ever done one Jeff why haven't you ever done a funny contact me. I'd rather, I don't want it to be spoiled. That's the problem. Stop writing the email now. Yes. Why haven't you ever done one, Jeff? Why haven't you ever done a funny license plate? Uh, I guess I'm not that funny. I don't know. I, I, it's like, you're absolutely right. I appreciate

every other personalized license plate I see. I mean, I either love to hate it because it's super douchey, like somebody has to drive in a Corvette and it says like vet number two on the back, implying that there's a one and possibly a three. Or you know what I mean? Or like my Beamer or like whatever dumb shit.

I love to hate those people because they spent money. They're so broken inside in some way that they need the world like it's not enough to have that car they also have to brag about it personally on the license plate i think that's awesome uh to to see those people driving around damaged and think like oh yeah it must it must hurt to live in your head and then it's also it's fucking amazing when you see a ham fan or an ass orgy roll up and it's just like somebody somebody was

so funny and clever and they thought i'm gonna share that with the world and i'm gonna brighten the day of everybody who stops behind me at a red light i think that's awesome ham fan thought they were being funny necessarily i think they just might if they didn't enthusiast listen it's better it's better if they if they weren't it's better if they were just like, I fucking loved Honey Bake Hams, and I loved Glazed Hams, and I loved Cube Ham, and I love Sugar Ham, and I love ham sandwiches,

and I love ham on rye, and I love a croque masseur with ham. I'll drink a ham shake. I'm beginning to wonder, I think Jeff might be ham fan. I think there is evidence that now applies that Jeff is testing out his new plate on us. I'll be honest, guys.

I'll be honest, guys. I was just in the ham zone. I was just flying out of my mouth. I wasn't playing. Ham zone would be a great plate as well. I'd remember ham zone. Yeah, you should be ham zone. I'm gonna look into getting a hamZone license plate now.

I will definitely do that. Remind me because I'll forget. But I will look in and see if I can get HamZone. Or HamFan. You know what would be funny? Because Texas has seven letters. HamFan2. Because it's like, it implies that I recognize there's a HamFan1.

And I'm adding on to it. But it's also like, I am also a HamFan. And there wasn't enough to spell t-o-o so it can do double meaning the two referencing like also ham fan i like that i like uh i'm gonna look into this i'm gonna look into the ham related in in ham fan two you wanted it to be like t-o-o like ham fan as well when the number two is perfectly fine because what yeah i like it that it's both like the number two is like ham fan one ham fan two ham fan three it's sequential it's showing the number two is self-explanatory yeah but but you don't think of it as yeah i guess i don't know i i like i i like

it as like i would rather people refer to me as not the second ham fan but also a ham fan well i mean technically you only you only saw the kentucky ham fan right you also a ham fan. Well, I mean, technically you only saw the Kentucky ham fan, right? You can have the same license plate in multiple states. It's true. That could be 49 other ham fans. Listen, I just was incredibly brazenly honest with you guys. I can't take credit for

ham fan one now. Like, that would be... Yeah, that's why you've got Hamzone. Yeah, I think Hamzone has an intensity to it that I think is wonderful I think it tells a story yeah yeah I like ham zone I'll look into ham zone and I think you guys should think about not that I anticipate either of

you ever owning or driving a car in your lives I can drive do you have a car no I don't have a car but I have a license you have a license why'd you get a license? Yeah, I have a license. Why do you get a license though if you don't drive? Why wouldn't I get a license? That's a great question. It's not hard to get a license.

That's a great question. It makes life a lot easier. I don't know why, why don't you have a license? Uh, what, why was, no, I was, I was asking, why bother having the license but not the car? Like, I don't have either. That's just... Oh, it's an ID. I can use the license for more than just driving. If I need to drive, I can drive the car from this scenario where I need to.

I mean, for someone with such shoddy ankles, I'm surprised you're not driving all the time. I got a Heelys. That's my move. I stick to the Gret. Have you ever owned a pair of Heelys? No, but I hear they're super heavy. I bet you... Have you ever owned a pair of Heelys? No, but I hear they're super heavy. I bet you, you seem like the kind of kid that would buy a pair of Heelys

because he saw like, I don't know, like a salamander in Heelys and he thought like, I could be cool like that salamander. It's a terrible example. Well, I was gonna say an ape or a monkey, but we've already been down that road and I don't want to pigeonhole you. You saw like the Disney direct-to-DVD movie Healy Bud or whatever.

Yeah. I mean, I think any animal, any cool animal, and I think I could do it for sure. I thought I could ice skate because I could walk. I don't have my concept of what is achievable based on what I know is exaggerated. Dude, if I look at ice skates, my ankles hurt. Oh, why? I was terrible. They're the most painful things I've ever strapped to my body in my life.

The second you put, I've been ice skating a bunch. The second you put them on, you're like, how does every part of my foot hurt in a different way all at once? you put them on, you're like, how does every part of my foot hurt in a different way all at once? And I suddenly feel all 180 pounds or whatever of my weight on both ankles and they feel

ready to snap any second. Yeah, you feel really weird. I've been ice skating a few times with shitty rental skates because I don't own any. And something about putting your shoes back on after a 90 minute ice skating sesh, your legs feel so weird after you're walking on flat ground again yeah it's really weird they're not great i was

never a good skater once again bad ankles not a good ice skater never was for me oh yeah because you're a canadian you were like born on the ice right yeah that's how it works you uh you got that little saucer of milk and you're like slapping it around with your stick and goal do you see what andrew tweeted at me, Jeff? I don't think so. I'm not sure I follow you guys. Okay. He tweeted last night,

with no training and while being out of shape, I bet you, Gavin Free, that I could walk and or run the distance of three marathons in seven days. Double or nothing on all standing bets that aren't pencil related.

Firstly, what's wrong with you what's wrong why do you always throw yourself into these insane scenarios that no one asked for what are you just sat there looking at the ceiling one night and you're like three marathons in a week i don't have ankles left let's do it that's almost 80 miles dude you can barely what you hurt your ankle getting a hot dog last week oh yeah no that's exactly what happened i was actually i was laying in bed and i was talking to somebody about long distance running and like doing multiple marathons in a short amount of time and i was like i bet i could do three in a week i'm just gonna challenge gavin to it you know how much how far a marathon is, right?

Yeah, yeah. No, I did the basic research. I looked into it. I feel very confident I could do this. I don't think it would be a problem. Why do you feel confident you could do that? I just do. I believe in myself. I don't know. I think I can do it. What's the furthest you've run? Oh, boy.

And, um, like, oh. I don't know. That's a question. I've never done't know that's a question i've never done like a race i've never done like a half marathon so i don't think i've ever done a structured run we have a thing called terry fox there you get the run for that during school you do it outside school too you have the confidence of a much dumber man okay so you think okay i want to know do you think in the last year say the last 365 days that you've walked what is it 78 miles oh definitely not 2020 no i mean i did a competition where i could try to take the fewest steps possible. I've definitely done the reverse. Yeah, that definitely set you back. That's ruined

your average. Yeah, for sure. So you're saying in one week, you're going to walk or run further than you have in the last year? Yeah, no, absolutely. Possibly two years. How long does it take the average non-runner to run almost 80 miles? No idea.

I can do it in a week, though. I can do it three times in a week. You can't. No, I feel very confident about that. Okay, so say you nail the first marathon on the first day. Let's say it takes you 10 hours to do. Mm-hmm. You're going to be in pain.

You're going to have blisters galore. You're not used to doing it. You're going to have a definite... Okay, Eric's written the average person can walk three miles per hour based on that 80 miles would take 26 hours 45 minutes easy okay so you have you have a week to put in 26 let's say 27 hours of walking okay so break that down gavin that That's four hours a day? Actually, yeah, that's not awful. That's assuming I space it out and don't just try to do three marathons

in the first three days. So that's what I would do. I'd just try to do as much as I could. Why do you have this confidence? Why are you like this? I can't explain that. I was laying in bed. The funny part is, I was laying in bed.

I put the tweet out of like, I feel very good about this. And then I stood up to get something from my kitchen. And it was very hard to walk. My ankle's like 80% right now, I'd say. So it was a definite stumble down the stairs. And I was like, that was an absurd challenge for me to make at this time. But I still feel good about it. I think I could do it.

I'd say there's just as good a chance that you'll just walk right into the ER and into surgery. Yeah, plot a hospital that's about 80 miles away. Just go straight there. That'll be the last lap. Reconstructive surgery. No, I don't think it would be that bad i think you're underestimating every single part of this after walking for about 90 minutes i assume you're gonna be tired you're gonna be like oh god this sucks and you will not

even be like five percent into the into the total i mean i think it'll be bad but i'm not gonna stop i'm not gonna quit during this okay hold on hold on. Hold on. Obviously, Gavin, he's not going to make it, right? No, definitely not. Maybe the real bet is the side bet between you and I as to how many miles he gets. Yeah. Well, I went in on that action. I'll double in on this.

You can't be in on this because you can affect the results. No, I want to double in on the side action. You're just going to walk up until you win the bet. What do you mean? No, I'm gonna i'm saying i'm gonna do it i want in on whatever you two are betting i want in on that because i'm gonna do it you can't make a side bet off of me and i get nothing for it all right yeah but you're directly in control of the results what do you know i'm saying that's a dangerous game for me to even

know about this side bet you two are idiots because i i could work with either of you depending on the bet i i agree with er. Eric says Andrew can only bet the maximum. Yeah, you can only bet. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I'm going to do it. But my point is, if I wanted to, I could then work with you, Jeff, or Gavin, now that I know that you have a side bet. And I want a cut of that.

No, your only challenge is to walk 78 miles. No, but I'm saying you shouldn't have even told me you have a side bet. That's a mistake by both of you, because I could weasel my Way in and try to get part of this deal whatever is on the table now That's okay because our real side bet will be the side bet on our side bet the you know you don't know about the true side Shit, it's good. You would want me to know my point is you'd want me to know because then I can let you win

That's my right you're not gonna listen you Focus on you need to be focused on one thing You're not gonna listen you Focus on you need to be focused on one thing Walking already focused Walking 79 miles Or whatever our first focus is healing My ankle I might be good by Monday but we'll see unless you try

To walk down those stairs again Or cook another hot dog In my head I make the tweet Gavin says Yes then I say we start On Monday I don't even have a way to count Steps at the moment In my head, I make the tweet. Gavin says, yes. Then I say, we start on Monday. I don't even have a way to count steps at the moment. We ain't done shit.

No, I like to be inclusive. We, not literally. We, I know I'm the one walking, but it's part of the story. We're going on an experience together. If I were you, I would honestly pick somewhere that is that far away, or at least somewhere that's half the distance. No. Otherwise, you're going to be aimlessly walking,

and you're just going to give up and go home. I feel like you could do this all in one go. I think you should just bring a ton of food. No. A little tent. I'm not doing three marathons, and that's absurd. I can't do that in one go. I could spread it out, though.

I'm going to go the other way. I'm going to say that you should embrace the monotony. You should go to a high school or middle school that has a track outside, just like the fucking circular quarter-mile track or whatever it is, and then only count your walking on that and then record you losing your mind

as you walk 1700 thousand million laps around that track I'm not even sure if I'm gonna leave my house to do this I think I could just walk around my house you are gonna walk a hole through the floor yeah you're gonna drop through into the place below I'll just keep walking if I start at the top floor you there's no problem. I can do that. You are so up and down. You are a man who doesn't want to walk to his kitchen to make a waffle.

Now say you're going to walk three marathons there? What? Yeah. Well, it's because it's not. It's the inconvenience of the kitchen to the waffle. I have a waffle maker now in my kitchen, by the way. Oh, you got a second one? Yeah, I got a second one. It's now in the kitchen, so I'm fully good to go got a second one? Yeah, I got a second one. It's now in the kitchen. So I'm fully, I'm good to go.

No matter what floor I'm on, I'm ready. But yeah, no, I mean, if I put a challenge around something, I feel very confident I could do this. Okay, so you're going to try Monday for a week? Let's see. I'll make the ruling on Sunday. It doesn't matter because by the time people hear this, the results will have happened. So let's say I'll make a call on Sunday. No, you won because by the time people hear this, the results will have happened. So let's say

I'll make a call on Sunday. No, you won't. You have a week. Well, yeah, when will this come out? This would come out... You're going to have to stop running your marathon to record the next f*** face. Oh, yeah. Well, yeah, I would, but I'm saying... Well, we're not recording next week because it's Thanksgiving.

Oh, because it's Thanksgiving. I didn't even think about that. I just meant more of like how many episodes we have backed up by the time people hear this. If I start on Monday, will they even? Oh, I see what you mean. That's a good point. Wherever you're going, you better believe American Express will be right there with you.

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one week ahead. Yeah, I mean, with all the shelves and stuff, I think we're only a week ahead. Oh, dude. Speaking of, I'm recording in my bedroom today because they're doing work on the shelves right now. Hold on, I'm going to send you guys a photo because I knew you'd want to see it. So this is why

so if I sound a little different, it's because I'm in my bedroom, which is very hot in the daytime, I've learned. Why are you getting that? Can we just mention that now that Eric's here, that we moved the entire podcast so that Eric could be in this recording and he was 10 minutes late anyway? Trust me when I say I did not choose

to be late, Gavin. I had a meeting that i absolutely could not get out of that's what the fuck your shelf room looks like i love that's now the feature of the room it's the shelf room yeah it's getting the shelves getting the shelves painted so obviously i can't be in there recording it's paint fumes dude wait everything is everything's the same color in that room. The floor, the ceiling, the shelves, the walls. The floor is... Okay, well, so, first off, the floor is not the same color. The floor is hardwood.

It's just covered with plastic that's painted blue from the over-spray from the paint machine. There'll be a wooden floor, don't worry. Oh, it's just so uniform. It's great. And then the behind-me wall, where I'm standing, is wallpaper. Or's great and then the behind me wall where i'm standing is wallpaper or it will be when the fucking wallpaper comes in and the wall behind the shelves is actually wooden slat so you just can't see it because it's all covered up by it's not all blue it's just covered up by plastic sheeting that got sprayed blue when they were painting everything else so you're gonna have to move your recording again for when the wallpaper guy is there.

Yes, entirely. That is 100% correct because the wallpaper goes around my desk. Yeah, I'm not done jostling shit around. Also, while you're in that Discord looking at that, if you scroll up a bit, Eric found the Ass-Orgy license plate. Yeah, I saw. Yeah, I saw.

It's fucking cool. We'll have to put that on Instagram. Why is your chandelier so low? It's a low room. i guess the question really is why is there a chandelier in the room yeah it's i think andrew's right it well i mean usually you put a table under a low light yeah it has a it has a well in a in a more useful time when i'm when i'm in the room there's a big coffee table there that's like a big like a three circle coffee table so it's not like you couldn't walk into it you'd go around it and also it's there because it was there when i bought the

house and i it works i'm not gonna i'm not sure i'm not in the business of taking out lights that perform their function perfectly well no i get it did uh i ever post the the pillow photo does eric know about the pillows yeah why don't you why don't you fill Eric in about your pillows? Eric, how many pillows do you sleep under? Like, how many actual pillows? Yeah, like when you go to bed, how many pillows do you use? I use one pillow. That's absurd to me.

Why? I use eight. What? What do you do with eight pillows? Okay, well, before we get there i did i tweeted out how many pillows do you use with no context i was shocked by how many people use one or at most two there were very few that went above it was like 90 one you're shocked you're shocked by normal you're shocked by normalcy it's like someone, how many pairs of gloves do you wear at a time?

One? That's insane. Yeah, but the bed has four pillows on it, typically, or at least two. So I'd assume you'd use the pillows you had. Now, if you're sharing the bed with someone, I get there's a distribution of pillows. But if it's just you and the bed, I don't see why you don't use all the pillows available to you at that time. So this is my pillow stack. This isn't a full eight.

This is like maybe six or seven. I had one on the floor had one on the side it was a full stack but this is my pillow formation when i go to bed wait hang on wait wait wait hang on what the fuck hang on wait yeah you were us last week eric i don't understand also do you have like little choo-choo trains on your sheets or what is that? They're little cars with Christmas trees, Eric. I'm a child. I love, I like Christmas. Do you sleep vertically or?

That's what they said. Here's a little side shot. I thought this was funny for comparison. My top pillow is above my lamp on my night table. I like that they're all different sizes. They're all like different pillows with different cases on. Because I guess no one sells a nine pillowcase set. I don't understand. Like some of these pillows look like rolled up sheets.

Like what's going on? No, they're just kind of compressed. There's two. The bottom is the two thicker pillows. And I use that as a structure. We went over this last week. I drew it. After seeing this this I couldn't get my head around how he sleeps so I drew a diagram

of what I think he's doing yeah it's a great diagram that's 100% Gavin like honestly that's 100% accurate look he's looking up standard ears this all makes sense to me and also note in the picture that i drew i had to redact

the amount of pillows that he actually has i had to condense it down to five because a look too stupid well so i've been observing now my sleep i never really put any thought into it and i have an explanation i have a system that I didn't know I had so To answer your question Eric. I kind of lean into it. I make like a pillow mountain. I lay into it Where's this photo? I'm looking for what happens though is with all the pillows is that over time? My bed starts to slide out from the wall Here we go. This is a clear example so my mattress my bed starts to slide out from the wall Here we go. This is a clear example. So my mattress my bed starts to separate itself from the wall and as time passes

More and more pillows fall down the hole so so every time I lose a pillow to the hole you just buy three more pillows No, no, no, no, no, no no what happens jeff is my pillow tower progressively gets naturally smaller as my bed gets further and further away from the wall once my pillows are then level with the bed that is when i pull all the pillows out and we reshuffle we put the deck back in we push it's like an automatic pillow replacing dispenser thing it's like a typewriter for sleeping yeah yes it's great i'm trying to do you put your head on the pillows but you i'm trying to like figure out is it like your whole upper body is like laying on the pillows yeah my shoulder and my head are uh are kind of

near the top and I just kind of fallen kind of I hear the top so the rest of your body is on the other six pillows no I'd say the majority of my body's on the bed but like my shoulder to kind of like rib area is all pillowed up in my head Eric he's like rugby tackling the stack of pillows, and that's what's causing the mattress to shoot out. I'm sorry. He just said that his rib area is all pillowed up. Yeah, I'd say like halfway to the ribs are all pillows. Now here's the thing.

You're changing your song and dance because you said a majority of your body is on the bed, and now it sounds like a 50-50 split. I have a very long back on the bright side andrew they're gonna invent a new version of scoliosis and name it after you no i'm gonna be fine this is my bed naturally starts moving away from the wall people are gonna be taking their 13 year old kids to the doctor because they can't stand up straight they're gonna go like you have scoliandru.

That's not good. You've got long back. Honestly, I'm starting to realize, I think I like four in the hole, four on the bed is where I'm at. I think that's the perfect height. Eight is a little bit high. Have you tried just one or two? Oh yeah, that's horrible. Why is that horrible?

Awful. Too low. I don't know. I don't like too low to the ground. I want some elevation. Gavin or Eric, can I ask you as humans if you ever encountered this? A problem I have with pillows, while we're on the subject, is I find that often, especially if it's at a hotel or something, that one pillow is not enough, but two is too many. Yes. Yeah. It's the worst right what what i do is i get a

towel from the bathroom and i fold that up and i use that because it's like half of the density or whatever of an of like another hotel pillow you create a half pillow yeah i create a half pillow and then i put a pillow on that and i go ah ah, perfect pillows. The human race has become so wet. I'm going to fucking try that, dude. That sounds like, because that is something that plagues me. I'm going to absolutely try that next time I go somewhere that has unfamiliar pillows. In 2022, you've got this pillow thing locked down, man. It's going to be great.

The first people walking the earth were like, where do you want to sleep? That rock. I like the first people walking the earth were like, where do you want to sleep? That rock. Now we're like folding up hotel room towels to make the pillow stack the perfect height. I just use all the pillows. Any hotel I'm in, it's no problem.

Or if I'm in an Airbnb, use all the pillows because it's never enough for what I typically use. It's great. Zero thought has to be put into it. So when you book a hotel, do you order more pillows? No, I just use whatever's there. I typically have two decorative and two normal. I'll just use all of them.

Oh, you don't want to put your face on a decorative. Oh, yeah. That's what that's. They don't wipe the chairs off those. They don't wash those. Yeah. Nah. That's covered in that.

It's all bad. It's all bad. None of it's good. Do you ever, like, you never have a good night's sleep then because there's like. Oh, I sleep so good. At a hotel without eight pillows? Nah, I make it work. I make it work.

I do the pillows for comfort, Jeff. It's not needed. It's not an needed eight stack. It's for me. I do that for me. I just enjoy it. I need to have a time lapse of you slowly wearing your tower of pillows down. Oh, God.

Another one slips in, and your head gets lower. You put another pillow on top. As I'm walking my three marathons, I will take a photo a day of where my current bed pillow situation is. When you used to go to do sleepovers at your friends, did your dad have to drive the truck

to bring all the pillows? Yeah, you fall on the back. No, a sleeping bag is fine. I was a sleeping bag sleepover. That's what people do, right? You bring your sleeping bag. That's where you hide all your pillows. Yeah, exactly.

Let's say 10 years into the future, you're married, you got a kid, your wife is next to you in the bed, and you are like an entire story above her. Is she going to roll over for a little cuddle and she's gonna have to climb up to you it's you know what avalanches happen okay and it's just gonna be part of the experience i can't control it you just wake up and she's died because all the pillows no nobody she is andrew fell two stories on top of her. Is what that is.

Nobody here has tried it but me. You're knocking something you haven't attempted. It's like the waffle maker all over again. This is a joy. That's fair. This is a joy. That's fair. That's true. That's true. Jeff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's your flat tire story? Oh, shit. I can tell that in a second. Hey,

Andrew distracted us, but did you want to do the intro now, Gavin? Oh, yeah. Hey, welcome. You guys didn't do a fucking intro? No, we tried to. We started to. No, what happened?

What happened was we didn't have our producer here to produce us. Yeah, as we haven't for the last three weeks. Yeah, I've been, I was off last week. I mean, come on. That's fair, that's fair. That was, you gotta take time

for yourself, Gavin. But this week, I got suckered into a meeting where I went, well, this should end on time and then guess what happened with the meeting? A lot of people

had a lot to say and it didn't end on time. Was it worth your time? Yeah, it was one that I had to be in or I would probably be in like, I would be in like a dire situation. Oof. Yeah, so.

Well, we don't want that. No. Why don't we skip the intro? No, just have Eric do it. Hey, what's going on? Welcome to F*** Face, the only podcast where Andrew, Gavin, and Jeff get together every week

to talk about the crazy farts, the mountain of pillows, and the nutso license plates that they see in the world uh i'm your producer eric and i'll jeff take it away my butt speaking of my butthole has been it's like been the sahara desert of farts lately i am i got nothing going. I got no beans in the tank. I've been meaning to tell you, once again, like I meant to bring this up last week. I don't think I did.

When I was on the prescription painkillers, it was like steroids for my ass. I was letting them rip left and right and it also made me constipated so there's no risk. It was great. It was a fantastic combination. I have a difficulty there

and I can't allow myself to get constipated because of my colon disease. So constipation is like, that'll put me in the hospital, potentially. So I have to avoid constipation at all costs.

But usually that does not affect, it doesn't affect my output. I'll be honest though, when you described your ass as the Sahara Desert, I didn't know whether you were talking hot, big, or barren. That was a really odd choice. All the above, maybe, yeah. But it's barren.

Yeah. It's not sandy. It's pretty clean. Dry. Yeah. Dry ass. I don't know what it is, because I haven't really changed my diet lately, but I just like, I got nothing. And

you know, I've been making a point of recording them all, and there's just been like, it's just been fucking... I can't... Well, I can't even make that sound, because that sounds like a fart. It hasn't even been that. It's just been like this. It's been like this. Your simile is just off

face today. Yeah, my lack of farts are like... Oh, man. So I was riding my bicycle, as I do, and we have a... Pedaling? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Always pedaling.

Always pedaling, unless I'm going downhill. I try to ride like 24 to 30 miles a day, depending on how much time I have. And then we have this place in Austin called town Lake. If you're ever in Austin and you're on town Lake, watch out. I'm going to run you the fuck over if you're walking slow and in the middle of the path, because, uh, that's rude. Um, and I was, I rode down to the, to town Lake and I stopped for a second because it was very pretty. And I wanted to sit, uh, I sat on a bench and I wanted to look at the water. There were people like stand up paddle boarding

and canoeing and it was just like, it was people fishing and shit. It was lovely and I just sat and I watched people for about 15 minutes and I hopped back on my bike and my back tire was dead ass flat, which fucking sucks. And I looked and this is, believe it or not,

and the whole time i've had this this bike this is not a problem i've encountered which is a flat tire on the road like i've routinely come uh go into my shed to get my bike and have a flat tire and then have to change it or or deal with that um i had a bad run there where i had four flat tires in two weeks and uh it was fucking brutal um but anyway so uh i got this flat tire and so i looked and i'm like a little under two miles from the closest bike store a bike repair shop and it's like a national chain i won't i i won't say it because i don't want it to seem like i'm disparaging him uh but i was like fuck and it's COVID and the whole thing. So I called them

and I said, Hey, I just got a flat tire on the lake, uh, or on the trail. Is it okay? Can y'all fix it? And they're like, yeah, no, no problem. It's not that busy. You can bring it in. Uh, we'll happily help you. And then I didn't like Emily was at work. And so I don't, I didn't have a way to get the bike there. I don't, I don't know if i can call like a covid uber bike delivery thing so i was like it's only two miles i'll just walk it and so i walked uh two miles uh which took a while to push a bike two miles with a flat tire uh it wasn't super fun and i had to push it down a major uh fast road for a while this is your your bike with a motor right yeah it felt like a so this is yeah this is the motor is now

turned against you. Your lack of effort in your day-to-day biking has now turned and has created way more effort, and you repair this wheel. It actually even has a setting on the bike where if you want to, like, if you want to walk it and get a little help, you can, like, do this, you can, like, push this button three times and hold it down, and it helps you,

it goes, like, two miles an hour while you push it. It helps you walk the bike? Yeah, yeah, it just, like yeah it just like it like spins the motor slowly that did not work with a flat tire uh so it was actually these things when when they're not functioning as bikes they're pretty fucking heavy anyway so it took me forever but i walked the bike there and i get in and the guy goes oh it's an e-bike and i go yeah i told you on the phone it's an e-bike. And I go, yeah, I told you on the phone, it's an e-bike. And he goes, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he goes, I was like, can you still fix the tire? It's just a fucking tube. And he goes, yeah, yeah, no problem at all. Hold on. And he takes the bike in. These people were lovely, by the way. It's going to sound like I'm besmirching them, but I'm not.

They were lovely. And after a while he comes out and he goes, hold on a second. This is a different tire size than we carry. And I'm thinking, I didn i didn't i've had i've been to like 30 bike stores in austin i've had my bike fixed by different places i've never encountered the tire size problem uh but he's like yeah it's a 27.5 we don't let me see yeah we only have those in a presti valve uh so uh that's not gonna work you got a schrader valve so uh i uh, I'm afraid I can't do it. Uh, and I'm like, well, my house is like six or seven miles from here. I would, I really don't want to walk at home. And he's like, well, if you want to get a tube, like if you want to go buy a tube from another bike store and bring it back, we'll still fix it for you. And I'm like, fucking Christ.

And while I'm doing that, some other guy comes over and he's like, and I go, you know what? I have a tube at home. I bought a box on Amazon the other day. So can I like get an Uber home, get a tube, bring it back to you, give it to you, and then you'll fix it. And he goes, and they go, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll, we'll, we'll do that while I'm like being entered into the system and stuff. And I'm like, that's not terrible. You know, it's not too far. It's annoying. But that's not the end of the world.

I'll still get my bike fixed. And he goes, some other guy comes over and he goes, let me take a look at this bike. And he goes, oh, you know what? One of your sprockets is busted. We can fix that for you. No problem. And I go, oh, okay, cool. Add it to the repair bill.

And then some other guy comes over and he goes, I don't know that we have that sprocket diameter and i go excuse me and he goes let me check and he goes away for like 10 minutes and he comes back and he goes yeah we don't have the right sprockets for that and i go we'll just take it out it's got a bunch of other sprockets and he goes yeah yeah we can do that and then you'll just you just get it fixed by somebody else and i'm like yeah i just i just need to get it home it'll it'll still drive home with missing one sprocket. And then the other, it's like three different dudes, and they just keep rotating on fucking me. And one of the other three dudes in the fuck Jeff pyramid,

he comes over, the fuck Jeff triangle comes over, and he goes, oh, no, no, you see right here where the sprocket's busted? The way it's ripped out, it's, yeah, I don't know if we can fix that. And I go, and the other guy goes,

no, no, we can fix it. And I go, well, and this is where my preparation paid off because when I bought this bike and I got it, I realized that none of this

looked easy to fix and I didn't know how sturdy this thing would be. So I immediately bought extra parts for everything on the bike. I bought a new rear wheel, new motor, new motor,

new spray, everything. Why don't you just buy two bikes? I have three of them actually. Thank you. I have one for me, one for Emily, and one for Millie. And so the parts work for all three of them.

But I go, okay, well, when I go home, I got some sprockets. I got some sprockets. So can I bring in a sprocket and you'll fix it too? And he goes, yeah, yeah. Anyway, and then he and the other guy argue

about whether it's repairable. And then the other guy finally wins. And he goes, nah, dude, the way you're, this rim is bad. You're not gonna be able to fix that. And he goes, it's the way that the sprocket ripped out. It's ruined the integrity of it. And I go, okay.

And he goes, so yeah, we're not gonna be able to fix it at all. I'm sorry. And I go okay and he goes so yeah we're not going to be able to fix it at all I'm sorry and I go hold on I have another rim I'll bring that in too and he goes well we don't know how to take the rim because you've got this gear system on the back tire I don't know how to remove that from the rim

and I go don't worry it's all on there already they were very politely trying not to help me they were very sweet about it um and I go no I got the whole thing and they're like oh okay and I'm like so I'll bring that by two and they're like well we don't I don't know if we know how to fix this and I go I put it together myself it's not hard I had to fight with them and I shut them down every step of the way eventually i had to bring essentially i i took an uber ride home threw everything in the back of my car i had to bring them almost an entire other bike at this point why didn't you just bung the bike in the uber and fix it at home it's a big ass bike dude how am i gonna bring it how

am i gonna fit it in an uber xl uber x then I'm going to be like, Hey, like I'm going to throw this greasy ass, dirty bike in your suburban. That seemed implausible to me. And also I'm in a situation where I very clearly have a group of men, uh, in this triangle who have no interest in helping me, but are so good with their customer service and so polite. And I have to firmly and gently stand my ground and say,

no, I am a customer. I walked two miles here to get my bike fixed. I will get my bike fixed. Even if I have to do most of the fixing myself, it's getting fixed on these premises. It sounds like you've walked two miles to have three dudes watch you fix your bike. Yeah. So I get an Uber home and I throw the parts in my car and I drive your car. Sorry. I drive your car back and I give them all the parts and I go, how long do you think it's going to take? And they go, oh yeah, it got really busy

after you left. We're slammed. We won't be able to get to it today. And I was like, oh, okay. So then 24 hours later they called me and I had to call them and I'd be like, is my bike fixed yet? And they're like, oh, we're still working on it.

Eventually they fixed it. I got to call them and I'd be like, is my bike fixed yet? And they're like, oh, we're still working on it. Eventually they fixed it. I got an Uber back. I got, I got there and they only charged me $7 because they felt bad. And then I felt bad. But I did more than $7 worth of work. I feel like Jeff just discovered a bike store that is a front. Like you clearly didn't go to a bike repair store. Like these people are desperately, it's all an illusion.

I don't know what their actual business is, but it isn't repairing bikes and you infuriatingly wouldn't let them just not fix it. Yeah. I wasn't taking no for an answer. When he said, we don't have that diameter of sprocket, I thought, that's it.

Like I will burn this building down with everybody inside it before I leave with this bicycle. I am not accepting fucking sprocket diameters. Fuck you. Like that's not happening. A bike store have every diameter of sprocket, like every available sprocket.

Shouldn't a bike store have a 27.5 inch tire? It's not that rare. Like shouldn't, shouldn't a bike. Yeah, dude, it should ship people. A shouldn't shouldn't a bike yeah dude it should should people a bike store shouldn't be shouldn't be staffed with people who when you bring a bicycle to them look at it like they've it's like it's a new technology they've never before seen in their

life i mean but but it's a weird bike it's not that weird dude it's not that weird it's not that i'm sure i'm sure most people that take their bikes there enjoy the pedaling part of bikes i enjoy the pedaling part of bikes as a matter of fact dickhead i got into a fight with jack about this super fan jack as we call him our first super fan jack he uh because he was making fun of me for for like right like quote unquote riding 30 miles a day on my quote unquote e-bike. So I did some research. I looked up a bunch on, I used the Google. I looked up a bunch of articles that prove

that riding an e-bike gives you just as much exercise as riding a normal bike. And if it's less, it's negligible the amount less. And riding 30 miles a day on an e-bike is worth 100% more than you not walking down the stairs or you not leaving your fucking house, Gavin. There's no way in balls that riding 30 miles on a pedal bike is the same as sitting on a chair that- The pedaling is the same, I just go faster. You're still pedaling just as much as any other asshole.

Wouldn't you be pedaling less because you'd get there quicker? Wouldn't that be the argument? No, because getting there is nothing. I'm going for distance. I'm not going there. I'm also going to run three marathons in a week. I'm just going to get a piggyback. Yeah, that sounds good. It's the same, though.

If you move your feet like you're walking in the piggyback, then I say it counts. I'll be hang gl it counts. I'll be hang gliding, but I'll be kicking my legs. Kick your legs. Kick your legs for the entirety of it, and you'll get just as much exercise. What if I'm water skiing? If I lift my legs up every once

in a while, is that a clear step? I just want to see you water ski. I'd be fun. Anyway, I can find the bullshit articles that I used to show Jack. I was like, it counts. It's exercise. Okay.

How many bikes did you buy at the same time? Is my first question. I bought two. Two. And you bought one set of parts for two of them. Between the both. And you have not bought another set of spare parts for your now three bikes. I did buy a few extra parts.

It's not entirely like that. I have two sets of some stuff, one set of other stuff between the three bikes. Okay. Extra. That's fine. It's just the story went from me being impressed at how prepared you were

to feeling like you didn't prepare at all for one set of spare parts. If I had an extra frame, I could almost build a fourth bike. Okay. You just need the bike, Pa. Yeah. It's just, yeah.

And by the way, it's worked out perfectly because I had, everything they threw at me, I had an answer for. I had a part for it. They probably thought you were like testing them.

You came from the bike union, the bike organization. I was test get certified. I was so convinced it was going to be ridiculously expensive. And then they were. And this is why I say that they're lovely people. They were like, we just didn't feel right charging you. So it's like we're just. I don't think they fixed it, Jeff.

I wrote it home. No, I think they went somewhere because you said a day passed. You have to call them, right? That's even better, dude. If they took the effort to drive my bike to a real bike store to get it fixed and bring it back and still charge me $7, that's concierge-level service. Because they only care. They're not a bike store, Jeff. They're a front for some other business.

They only care about you not talking about it. They're not only a bike store. They also sell tents and shit. Okay. But I don't want to like... I still feel very positively about them. Like I said, the Fuck Jeff Triangle,

they were lovely people. They really were. It was just a confounding set of circumstances. And I wouldn't necessarily recommend you take your e-bike there to get fixed again. And if you a 27 and a half inch tire stay as far away as humanly possible but any any other bike any other bike i would just say take it to the take it to rei i don't know okay i have my own issue i have my own tech i have some problems i was talking to jeff

about this i know we're running a little long but i need eric's guidance on this i need producer eric to tell me what i need to do i'm in a real jam here so i got a new recording setup and i have a mic stand i have a roadie mic arm i so did not want to help you last night you didn't help me at all i know i didn't try to you implied you applied your implication that you did you're useless useless. No, I was just like, everything you said, I was like, yeah, that sucks. That's rough. That's annoying. My desk is both too thick for it to attach to it, but not long enough for me to make it work. I'm going to set a photo example.

His desk is too thick and shallow. Yes, I have a too thick, too shallow desk. I don't know what I'm supposed to do with that. That was my initial problem. Oh, so you have like a keyboard shelf. Yeah. And the arm is bashing into it. No, that is literally just for a shelf.

I pulled the shelf out to try to, or a cupboard. What's the word I'm looking for? A drawer? That should be a drawer, yes. That is the word I was looking for. That should be my desk drawer. I pulled the drawer out of the desk to try to put the thing in. It's too thick.

It's too thick for the part to get in, but it's not long enough for me to make it work. What do I do? What's the solution here? Get a different kind of stand. Is there anywhere else on the desk that you could make that work? That's literally the only spot?

Yeah, well, it's the whole thing. It's the consistent thickness. Throw it everywhere. I could try the side. See, like, if you look at the side, my desk is way longer than the thing. It's the only entry point i have would be removing a drawer and have you tried maybe clamping the mic to a fire extinguisher you know that wouldn't help unfortunately i'm just going to show you this is my initial solution

i tried to make this work and it was a very temporary fix oh that's not that's not a solution at all no it seemed like it was uh at the time it felt so you've just jammed it yeah i just leveraged it in the actual drawer area and it felt very damaged that you've done to the little oh yeah i ripped up the front corner of that desk trying to sneak it in. I mean, at this point, just saw a semicircle in that part of the desk. That's what I was going to say. I mean, you've already done damage. I'd have to get one.

Well, get like a hole drill, a hole saw. What's it called? A spinny thing. I'd have to buy one of those. Dude, sell one of your mini waffle makers. I can't do that. It's precious to my heart. Why don't you walk it two miles to the nearest desk store and see what they say?

Yeah, that'll get some of your marathoning out of the way. That's a great point. Anyway, I figured it out. It's a temporary fix, so I'm going to take solutions. That's your figured it out? That's terrible. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Gavin. Let me finish.

You fucking idiot once again I'm explaining my point for the millionth time and dummy Gavin interrupts to yell at me That is not my final solution. That fell over immediately. Don't say final solution. That's a different thing, dude We don't want to be associated with that. Okay, that was not that was not the fix I love how annoyed he gets. Well, you're useless. You yell at me for a thing that I'm doing. We're already over time.

Just show me the thing you did. Calm down, Eric. You got another meeting where you gotta go. Yeah, I have things to do, but I also want to know what it is and you're just not showing. I wanted to tell tell but Gavin fucking interrupted I don't like this not my fault

Get on with it shut up. I Put the fire extinguishers gone We lost the fire extinguisher sadly it is now attached to the mic arm But we have gained a fridge my temporary solution to this problem As I have mounted it to my fridge You're a straight up maniac. You're a crazy person. That's worse than the other solution.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, it's very secure. I've made it through this whole podcast. My fridge has been unplugged. The door is wide open. That's not good. Well, listen. Here's what you can do.

I'm not shooting there. All right, go ahead. Here's what you can do to solve your shutting the fridge door problem. No, it's just like I can't shut it with the mic in. I need a new place to put the mic. No, but I can help you with that. All right, listen. Take the fucking mic stand out, right?

Shut your fridge door. Get a hammer. Okay. Bash the glass out of the front door of the fridge. Clean that out. And then you can put the mic stand in right through where the glass used to be, boom, fridge door shut. That's a bad idea.

That's what that is. Also, do you have fine china in your fridge? Oh, shit! Oh, boy. Okay. Well, that'll do it for this episode of F*** Face! No, no, no. Okay.

I thought Geoff had a real tip. So I pulled my mic out of the fridge. The base of the mic has fallen. I'm now just holding my mic stand. I'm now just holding my mic stand. Like a tree. We're fine though. We actually do need... This is sort of heavy. I probably got two minutes before my arm starts cramping up.

And you're gonna walk 19 marathons. You can't hold a mic stand No let me adjust This is, how do I Can you still hear me? This is weird Okay, how do I I made it worse The bit that fell off is where the sound goes

Stop Gavin this is like a Fucking exercise machine Jeff end this Jeff end it It's gonna get crushed by the fridge. We didn't even... Dude, he's not even... He's not done. He's got other problems. Canadian man-child found dead

in his own fridge. He can't figure out how to connect the mic holder to the mic stand. No, I figured that out. I put this together. Wait, I'm gonna... Okay. Am I okay? Oh, shit!

I tried to balance it on the door of the fridge and it just fell. He's gonna kill himself. Good episode. Thanks for tuning in to another episode of F*** Face. I look forward to... My favorite comments I've been seeing lately, you see one or two

every episode is a comment that says I've never heard this podcast before. I don't know what the fuck it is but I'll listen again. So hopefully you're one

of those people and you'll listen again and if you like stars and you like to throw them out like they're candy throw them our way on whatever podcasting platform that you can

rate us on. Tell a little story about how it's the best thing that you've ever heard. Maybe somebody in your family was dying of cancer or some other ailment and you played the podcast for them and it cured them and now they're super strong and healthier and better than ever and maybe

even invulnerable. Thank you and goodbye. Are you still hear me? This is amazing. It's like a boom mic. I got it above my head right now. I sound good? No.

You sound fucking awful. One second. I'm just going to keep talking. Tell me when it sounds good. It's awful. The podcast ended.