Regulation Podcast - It's Constantly June // Geoff's Bike Stunt Video [65]

Episode Date: August 25, 2021

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about Gavin potentially poisoning himself, Geoff's bike trick video, calling Caleb for a Pinballz wager, and sauce clarification. Check out the bike trick video at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxDr2k_-vzI Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to [e-mail] Sponsored by Better Help (http://betterhelp.com/face) and HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/face14 and use code face14). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is, hello and welcome to episode 65 of the F*** Face podcast. My name is Jeff Ramsey and with me, as always, Andrew Panton and Gavin Free in no particular order. Although I realize saying it out loud, I usually say Gavin before Andrew, and I wonder why I do that. It's not intentional, but it definitely happens more often than not. This is kind of a special, Gavin and I were talking about this yesterday.

This is a special episode. We're not supposed to be filming this right now. This is sort of a gift from the podcast gods that we are doing this in this moment. The last time we all spoke together, yeah, you're not talking. The last time we all spoke together. Yeah, you're not talking. The last time we all spoke together. Sorry.

Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you. I'm just going to say, the last time we all spoke together, we talked about how it might be the last time we ever speak together if anybody died. Nobody did. No.

That's what I was going to say. I thought you're saying that it's a special episode because we weren't expecting to do it. I think it's special that we all lived after you cursed us. Well, I didn't curse us. I just pointed out so far yeah that's true gavin uh gavin might be that might be we should get into it uh it's gonna be a fun podcast for a couple reasons i think uh we tried to make the most of this extra time together uh which if gavin lives

long enough to tell the story we can get into that that. But, Gavin, you're dying. I might have poisoned myself. I'm not sure yet. I feel a bit dizzy, and my throat feels small. I decided I'd tackle the wasp nest right before this. I don't know if we updated the f*** face listeners, but the nest was

partially destroyed when I turned on the fan, and then they just decided we'll just f*** face listeners, but the nest was partially destroyed when I turned on the fan. And then they just decided, we'll just make it on the outside of the fan. So they're now on the bit that doesn't spin where the fan connects to the ceiling. A big old nest. Haven't been out there in a while.

I thought I'll buy some killer. Sorry, I bought a little can of wasp foam. I'm not sure how it kills the wasps i assume it's an extremely powerful poison because i sprayed it i sprayed it on the nest and they just dropped dead within like five seconds and i was like bloody hell and i was reading the instructions it was like spray from you know upwind you don't want it blowing on you and then immediately get out of there and i was i stepped back and i just watched all these wasps just drop down dead i was like bloody hell what is this stuff what's it doing to him and um i just backed the way the hell up

but then i started to feel the wind against my face and i was like uh-oh should i be oh and i just thought i need to get out i need but i need to i need to cross directly under the under the nest to get out of it. So I just like pulled my t-shirt up. I just powered through. And ever since then, I've been feeling a little bit dizzy, a little bit shaky, and my throat feels small. So I've just told them, I've told my co-host here,

just to check in on me. If I go quiet for too long, just make sure I'm still there because I don't know what might happen. And I'm sure I'm just feeling a little bit paranoid because I felt wind on my face and must have immediately thought I've inhaled this stuff. So it might be my own body playing tricks on me. But who knows?

Hopefully I'm fine. I'll be honest with you, dude. It doesn't sound good. It doesn't sound good. I have two immediate thoughts. One, I love that in the instructions that you read them. You took the time to read them. You were being safe.

Read the whole can. Their instructions were to wear protective gear, make sure you have a mask on. Their instructions were use it and book it because it will be problems if you stay. There was a lot of other stuff. It was like, don't use on a day when it's going to rain. Sure. That was another one because I don't want it to like wash into the water systems i guess but i just i feel like it's such an obvious you should probably be wearing a mask to do this and it seems as though

their tone was just run really fast nick's nick's right it did say use at dusk and i didn't i didn't pay attention to that okay i know take back everything i said you opened this by seeming like you were following all instructions as given, and you clearly just skimmed it. He read them. He didn't heed them. It's different.

The dusk stuff is just that there's going to be less wasps there during the day. They're not going to be all back. Oh, you think that's a wasp warning? They don't want you to attack the full crew at once? They're going for your safety in case there's a swarm? No, they want you to get the full crew. They want you to use it on them when they're least active and when most of them are

back but i just thought i'll just quickly get this done because because basically i want to be uh i need to work in that area i need to do some other drilling and you want to get them at the end of the day after they've done their full eight hour wasp duties and they're exhausted and they're sitting around their wasp dinner tables just trying to eat a little bit of food and listen to their shitty wasp family talk about their day and they're just exhausted and just kind of emotionally drained and then that's when you hit them with the poison i feel like you're setting up a real lone survivor scenario which i'd be very fearful of you're there's gonna be one wasp who comes home sees what has happened and will be vengeful i was gonna say the other thing that

that brings me a lot of joy is the fact that you're living the happening too you're the only person outside of the happening that has run from the wind that is terrified of the breeze that when you felt that breeze it was like this is death i gotta go i i swear that was like an immediate windshake i would have honestly just left it because i mean they don't really they're not very aggressive but i have seen my cat Sort of jump at him and try and chase him And I thought that Smee's gonna get stung on his face If he probably

Might as well just shift this one nest When the wind started to attack you Did you go what No Like Mark Wahlberg Slowed down to like 50%? What?

No! Well, I don't want you to be the only one poisoned, Gavin. You reminded me of something. You go drink some bleach to misery? No! No, so I was going through my closet. And I've been trying to find a certain cable. I wanted to reset up my Xbox 360. So I've just been going through my closet, and I've been trying to find a certain cable. I wanted to reset up my Xbox 360,

so I've just been going through everything I have. And I found a garbage bag. And I was like, what is this? I don't remember what this is. I still have my fire extinguisher in my garbage bag from when I fired it with all the stuff. I haven't opened it yet. I've been meaning to take it apart.

Why not just throw it all away? Well, because I kind of want to see what it looks like on the inside. You should try and buy a load of vials and you can sell it. To who? Where? That's interesting. What do you mean? Not the Roosties store?

Vials of fire extinguisher? Gavin, I'm having a hard time moving these sauces. I don't think the fire extinguisher remnants... I was listening to the fire extinguisher remnants. Well, you got to start getting your, I was listening to the, which I never do, but I was listening

to the most recent episode and you got to start getting your sauces graded. You talked about it. I do, you're right. They're worth like three times as much if you get a, if you get a PSA 10 BTS sauce,

that's, you don't need to sell a lot of those to retire. Did you see that they have a new celebrity meal coming out August 8th? No. I don't remember who it is, but there's a new one coming out with different sauces.

It's clearly working. Yeah. Well, I'm a big fan of it because fucking, okay, I have a complaint with McDonald's. That looks like a great meal. Oh, so weedy. Yes, it's a Big Mac and like a four-piece nuggets, whatever. Anyway, they were supposed to stop selling. I think maybe this is a great argument

for what I was saying before. They were supposed to stop selling the BTS sauce on June 20th and they're still selling it to this day. I ordered McDonald's yesterday and I got two more sauce things. So I need this new one to come in and push out all the BTS sauce because it's still in circulation. I need there to be a demand.

There's still no demand. There's still no demand and it's over a month later. I think they forgot because June is a very forgettable month. I just don't agree with that. There's nothing forgettable about the month of June, that's for sure. Name a song about June. What is a June song? Happy Birthday.

Happy Birthday? That doesn't count. That's not about June. My birthday's in June. I hear it. It counts. But it's not about June. It's about my birthday, which is in June. Yeah.

I know, but that's not the same. I'm talking about a song about the month of June. Hey, June. You're right. I apologize. It's an iconic hit. Everyone loves Hey, June. you're right i apologize it's an iconic hit everyone loves hey june here's a bunch of songs about june by bands i've not heard yeah there's a whole list of my september song uh nine songs about the month of june from train to the decemberist to m&m june hymn by the decemberists

drops of jupiter by train gross june is busting Out All Over by Carousel. That sounds gross. Words I Couldn't Say by Rascal Flatts. Oh, wait. June in January by none other than Dean Martin. Did It Again by Shakira and her June Don't Lie. Eminem sings a song called Spacebound

all about the month of June. June as does Nicki Minaj with Dead Wrong. Damn, dude, that's some heavy hitters. I feel like a lot of those are about people named June, though, and not the month of June, as does Nicki Minaj with Dead Wrong. Damn, dude, that's some heavy hitters. I feel like a lot of those are about people named June, though, and not the month. We could do a June mixtape. There's so much. Not nearly as iconic, though. You get a lot of people named June, but not a lot of people called September.

That's true. That's a great point. I have a question for you guys. Okay. What do we want to talk about? Do we want to talk the Olympics are on? We can talk about the Olympics. Or we could talk about one of the things I've been most excited about for weeks now.

That finally happened. That I've been avoiding all info on. And I really hope. I don't see how I could be disappointed. But I'm scared that I will be. What are you talking about, Andrew? Yeah, I just suddenly that's very weird. I was so excited going into this.

I suddenly just got the feeling that I'm about to be very disappointed. The bike trick apparently happened. We were lucky enough. So so the reason we were filming this week, we weren't going to I was going to go abroad. But then about 12 hours before going to the airport, I decided I wasn't. So we actually were able to film the bike trick. The bike trick. Not only did we film it, I'd also like to point out another nice thing about today's

recording is that the last three recordings we've done have been doubled up. So we've done double double episodes which is great and it was a necessity uh because of this upcoming trip but uh kind of nice to know that we only got to do one today you know yeah we can just like easy peasy just one episode uh yeah but we took advantage of that time and um because gavin and i made the plans so last minute, we tricked Mother Nature. She wasn't able to shit on us. And she did it a different way. I'll say that.

Gavin and I picked what must have been the hottest day on earth to sit in a concrete ditch for three hours and watch a progress bar on his camera. It was so hot, dude. The camera was burning my hands it was hard to hold it's black metal i am being i'm not this isn't hyperbole and i'm not exaggerating when i say that uh i had to do the trick or attempt the trick many times throughout the course of the recording we need coverage to get coverage i would

say about halfway in i was afraid i was gonna pass out on the bike i was afraid i was gonna pass out just trying to hold the camera i was trying to bring minimal stuff so i didn't bring i didn't bring a tripod i was just like hanging a camera out of my hand with a lens yeah but it's still quite heavy we walked from gavin's house because it we couldn't figure out how to ride two bikes with this seven hundred thousand dollar camera so we i walked my bike and gavin just walked with a backpack from his house a very long way to this ditch uh first of all and uh so we were exhausted before we got there and uh holy shit man there was no shade it was just concrete on top of concrete on top of blazing hot ass Texas sun. So I want to set the scene a little bit.

Because I still, you've described this trick several times. I still have no idea what it looks like. I don't actually know what you're doing. Let me be honest with you, Andrew. I got there and Jeff was like, because I needed to know where to stand to film it. Jeff ran me through the trick. He was like, okay, I'm going to come up here. I'm going to come up here and go over this.

I'm going to slide down here. He explained it to me like in real time. I still didn't know what he was going to do. I had to just be like, oh, you just got to do it because I don't know what. This motherfucker, he goes, I explained the trick to him. I go this, this, this. And he goes, oh, so where do I stand? And I go, you're the fucking cameraman.

I don't know wherever you stand. I'm not going to do your job for you. I'm going to do the fucking trick. See where you were going to go for the sake of my lens and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So here's the deal. I've been trying to think about how to tackle explaining this, what went down.

And I think it's better through gavin i think gavin you should take the lead on this you and explain through you yeah like what we did how it went like i think this is your story to tell i i was trying to avoid any information on the thing at all like i just i told you guys i say yeah i texted you guys don't tell me anything i want to see it live then i went into the face discord and you guys posted about it on Instagram and that's the only thing I saw and I spoiled myself by going to the f*** face spoilers thing I saw the little place you were

in whatever the photo was and I was completely even after seeing the area in which the trick would happen I felt like I was more confused than the verbal description I could not see or tell where a trick would happen or like where you'd land. It was baffling.

So I'm glad that you were still confused, Gavin, as much as I was upon seeing the location of the area. Wherever you're going, you better believe American Express

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see it so how do we how do we do this do you do you want to just play it like put upload it or do we talk about it first i feel like i could just stream my screen through discord a little bit of uh put a little bit of music on a little bit of pizzazz put a little outro on it um i've done some work on it do you want to see it yeah i would love there's nothing more that i'd like oh my god please how at first but while you're getting this ready how long have we been talking about this stupid trip over a month uh well yeah in real time like a month but in episode time maybe two months yeah probably that's possible yeah probably yeah okay so it's gonna be like the culmination of like a probably six six or seven episode arc yeah when these people finally get to see this trick which

when i get i'm gonna say this we roll up on the scene and after gavin kind of gets the hang of it he goes i'll be honest with you i thought it was gonna be a much smaller trick and that made me feel good smaller trick is this the most impressive have you ever done a bike trick before this jeff is this your first trick 46 years old man but doing bike tricks my whole life well okay i just i felt like i don't know i'll be honest with you andrew i think i peaked somewhere around 13 so i think it's all been downhill from then but i used to do a lot of i used to do a lot of bmxing and skating when i was younger for sure and and i'd like it i'd like to to point out that when we watch this trick when we finally get to it

i am not driving this is not a trick bike. This is like a Cadillac. It's a big, smooth, heavy, beautiful, just put your hands back behind your bed and ride smooth kind of bike. So it doesn't have a lot of maneuverability. I'll preface it by saying that. Okay, is everyone ready? I have it.

Yes, please show me this trick. Here we go. Playing the bike stunt. Here we go. How long is this okay, so we're in Okay wait that's fucking awesome boom yeah I dropped my kickstand it's back up

rolled it out boom that's a lot to take in holy shit let's watch that a hundred more times that was amazing so yeah i'm what was your reaction upon seeing the completion of the trick what in real life yeah in real life you get everything there you're feeling the camera um did it live up to your let me just say before he gets to say that i'll say that he had the benefit of seeing that trick oh i don't know 10 or 15 times because we got to do it he had a front row seat over and over and over again from every angle you can imagine i don't i first want

to say a great trick jeff good job i'm happy that you landed it i don't understand how you could do that 15 to 20 times i don't. You went up and over a thing, and then you just, through the momentum of going down, went over a little. You got a little bit of air. Well, I went up a bank about six feet in the air, and then I went down it past a bridge into a culvert at this point. That's another three feet down.

And then I went up the other side, did a sweet fucking jump, and then landed and wrote it off. Smooth as can be. I just, I don't understand what the failed attempts would look like. I feel like that's what it should be. There were no failed attempts on that day. Okay. When I first saw the trick,

I feel like I just fully didn't know what I was expecting. I was expecting him to just basically just do a bunny hop over something. So the fact that it extended all this, like the fact that he covered so much distance was a shock to me. And when he did it, I was like, huh, all right. Because it wasn't like it was a letdown. I just fully didn't know what I was going to see.

And I assumed it would actually be smaller than what it was. So do you think that if it was less distance, you'd be less oppressed? Is the stretching of the thing, the distance covered? I was really hoping we would be slow-moing maybe like an inch and a half of air as Jeff pops some sort of water system. I don't know. But the fact that it was quite long

and he actually did get quite good air, it made it less funny. So that's why I did the punch-ins and the jet sound effects i i mean that added a lot to it i will say one of the i think to me the subtle funny thing of that video is the end when jeff is riding in slowly and then it goes to slow motion i couldn't tell when the slow motion started he was going at such a slow speed for that that cut in yeah that was unfortunate because of the timing of the music He was going at such a slow speed for that cut in. Yeah, that was unfortunate because of the timing of the music.

I wanted it to kick into slow-mo when that music kicks in, but I had to extend the run-up just by slowing it down. So he's at quarter speed coming up to that. I see. So that's on your end. I thought that was just Jeff's natural speed. He was booking it up to that bit. I was going pretty fucking fast, yeah.

And I'd like to point out too that the point of this trick was never to go and find a cool trick and do. It's that I ride my bike through that ditch every fucking day or probably five or six days a week and you just like you ride over the same spots over and over again. You want to do you want to just like you get bored. So I was

like, I bet I could ride up there and then but then I did get stuck in this culvert and then you're like, oh, can I jump my way out of the culvert? And. So I was like, I bet I could ride up there. And then, but then I did get stuck in this culvert. And then you're like, oh, can I jump my way out of the culvert? And then you're like, oh, I guess I could. And you tried a few times slowly and you fall. And then I showed Gavin how I wiped out on the, on the, on the wall that I rode. Kind of explained to him how, how that wipeout went. And which was a fucking terrible and terrifying wipeout.

Let me tell you. And, uh, but it's, it was more of just like, you just like, like driving my bike by that every day and just having it's it was more of just like you just like like driving my bike by that every day and just having it like itch at you it's actually be like i want to do something more fun here than just go down this path and then i came up with this awesome fucking badass trick and then i did it and then i did it a billion times for gavin and that wasn't even the best air i got the best air i got was huge but we decided to redo it for some reason wait was the best air on like uh when i was filming the first bit i think it was the time before that one yeah you're probably a little bit far away yeah i wanted to get you nice and big in frame i i that's i mean that was a trick

for sure i don't know what i feel like you're let down andrew it's not that i'm let down it was a great i don't know you know like my favorite part is that the bike clearly not a tool design it like it lands and it almost like snaps in half and the kickstand comes down and bashes the ground the chain goes in every slow-mo shot we have you can see some in some of the other ones the chain is like 80 on the ground it's it somehow puts itself back together i i think i'm it's not that i'm underwhelmed i think i'm whelmed it was what i was expecting you're well it's an overwhelming bike trick jeff it was overwhelming it was a solid uh it was it's very much that they were who we thought they were moment like it is what i thought it was and uh it was good the edit i mean great video great

bike trick jeff i'm what i want is the continuation of this because you said you go through that all the time and you're expanding is there more for you to do is there more ground to cover i doubt 100 100 okay yeah there's there's a lot there's more opportunity there for so like a year from now we might get multiple zigzags you might be zigging up and down. This could be an expanded trick. This is just like the trial run. It's entirely possible for sure. But you can't force it.

You gotta let inspiration strike. I feel like it was somehow simultaneously more and less of a trick than you thought it would be at the same time, Andrew. It is. There's more to it. I think it's the bike is the thing too i need to consider as you said not designed to do that it almost explodes on impact which is very funny if i was on if i

was on a tiny like my little like a little trick bike yeah i would have been at first i thought i got about four feet higher on the jump it would have been it would have been way easier to get up and to go over that uh over that drainage ditch that my bike does not turn that fast and it's like you can't really see it, but the angle I gotta come out of that tunnel and then make the hard cut, it's very difficult on that bike. Now, does the pedal assist help with the speed?

How much is that influencing your height? I would say the pedal assist provides most of the help at the beginning to get through the tunnel and up that ramp, and then it's just gravity and me after that wait after that how far down the tunnel are you oh i'm very far yeah that's okay see that's a whole layer i didn't realize that's not shown i just assumed you're waiting and then you pop out it came out like a bullet i came out of that tunnel very well he's not a pedal assist bike gab and i don't know what that means as far as distance goes he doesn't have i

came out of the book I came out of the tunnel hauling ass. Remember, it's slowed down to like a quarter speed or something. Okay. That was a great trick. It's like 5% speed. I think what you're missing, and hopefully Gavin will understand, is when you stand in this space and you see the

totality of it, you see when you're in the ditch and you see how tall and big everything is around you then you understand the scale of what's going on which is a totally different thing i you know i agree honestly it's warming up to me over time i think i needed time to process the trick really understand the specifics of it i'm not a big bike guy i just hearing the extent bringing up great details of the pedal and knowing the speeds. You've sold me on this. That is a great trick. And I'm very excited about the

extension of this going forward. Like a year from now. Would you attempt it yourself? On the same bike that Jeff's on? Like that type of bike? Yeah. I've never ridden that type of... I don't know. I don't know what that'd be like. So it's hard for me. Yeah, I think I would. Because if I eat shit, I eat shit.

Well, I also, if you guys are interested, I have a bmx in storage i can pull out and pump the tires up and then we can just we can just start getting tricky i want to okay i want to know what getting tricky means to you i'm very excited about this i'd love for you to get tricky jeff we can just start like making that a focus of things you know it's not like I don't have 46 years of daily bike riding behind me. I may not be in the weeds. I may not be at the Ninth Street Trails in Austin hitting fucking tabletops and stuff at this age, but I still I still have the cumulative experience of all of my bicycle knowledge and all the dumb shit I've done in the past.

I'm all about. Listen, you put a camera in front of me and I'm on a bike. I'll I'll do some shit. Could you do do could you get air and then like spin the handlebars that's the thing they do right that's a bike trick never tried that in my life yet okay but i would what so are we so you get on the trick bike are you trying to reclaim former glory or are we like we're going into uncharted territory we're trying well i don't have any former glory there's no former glory to attain it's more of like is it fun and is it footage and so far in my experience uh the answer to both questions was yes like gavin and i actually because we were in that ditch for

i don't know 11 hours maybe it was it was a lot of effort yeah is that we were joking about how much effort it was for how little reward probably but also how much fucking fun that amount of effort for that production was and like we both were like i wish we could do this more often i wish we could come up with other dumb things to film and put this much effort into it for such a stupid thing well i think you have really into the idea of all these little side bits that we do especially now we have a youtube channel is that what we're going to put this stuff i think we should yeah no i think i think youtube i think you go on instagram as well but i think this is definitely i can make you a square version for Instagram if you want.

That'd be great. Yeah, we could put that up on the socials, and then we'll put the full video in all its glory up on YouTube. I want to know what Eric thought of it. Eric and Nick, if they had anything. Yeah, please weigh in. That was not the type of bike that I was anticipating you riding and doing a trick on. When the kickstand hits the ground and then comes back up,

I thought the rest of the bike was going to explode. I was like, I was worried for you landing on that front tire so hard. Like, yeah, I know you would have told us like, yeah. And then I just went like,

you know, over the front and ate shit. Like if that's what happened, but like, man, the way your front tire hit, I was like, Oh, that's what happened, but like, man, the way your front tire hit, I was like, Oh,

that's the opposite of tricks. That was the least clean run we did. Uh, and it was the only one where I, I tried to tabletop it a bit in the air and I ended up landing further on the, on the front tire than the back. Uh, and,

uh, two things. One, uh, probably one of the less impressive of the jumps because of that uh which is also why i think we should use it because it uh it was goofy also hurt yeah a lot yeah no it looks like you see like all of the compression through the bike like first the front tire is like a pretty square on landing the the back tire if you watch it it gets totally bent

to like the left and then your wrist is like the next thing to receive the impact. Let your sunglasses drop down. It's like, you can see the shockwave traveling all through the bike into the top of your head. It's great. I felt it from my right wrist up to my elbow for at least 24 hours. We did different angles of the jump.

Like there's, there's like a closer up angle, but it was a much cleaner landing and it wasn't nearly as funny as that other wide shot so i just left it on that i i will say that uh besides like the jump my favorite part of the video is you i i guess like sliding in at the end and just how long that goes on for. A very long time. A very long time that you were sliding in. The f*** face music

is like 30 seconds. It's long. It's a long ending, right? I want to watch it six more times. I want to see the people listening to. That's the problem. I want to see every... The people listening to this get the joy of analyzing it. I want to see Jeff's face on Impact.

I mean, I could give you an analysis pass if you want a second viewing. I'll also say too, my favorite part of the video is something that no one has pointed out yet. Gavin noticed it immediately, but nobody else has pointed out, I think,

the low-key best part of the video. What is your favorite part? Let's see if you notice it on another pass. Oh, are we doing a second pass? I'd love to do a second pass. It takes like 20 minutes to get to the pass. Yeah, I don't know that we have to.

I just was wearing a, it was just a shirt I was wearing. Okay, let's do, if it just immediately works, I'm all about it. Okay, this is great. So let's reevaluate the second thing. So you're far down the tunnel.

I appreciate there's no showing how far the tunnel goes, so we're just going to have to assume that you're far down. Well, I mean, in an analysis point of view, this is actually in slow motion at the beginning. It only records for five seconds, so Jeff is like here. It's just in slow-mo, and I speed up and he shoots out. All right, you ready? Analysis pass.

Okay. Really long tunnel. The frame. Look at Jeff's positioning. The back, the legs. Perfect landing. It's the audio commentary. Through the air, Jeff looks surprised and a little bit fearful.

Clips a few leaves just i was looking at the bike last time i'm purely looking at jeff this time impact immediate in the hands immediate the face where did you get that shirt oh i got a fucking awesome shirt is what i got yeah where did you get that where can we get that i bought I bought it on eBay. No way, really? Yeah, I bought, there's a whole, I got more than that. There are multiple Don Zimmer shirts available to buy. Damn it. That just happens to be the one I was wearing that day.

That's awesome. I know, if we could figure out a way to license that shirt, I would love to make a f*** face version. I mean, would it just be a case of contacting that photographer? Probably, probably contacting that photographer. It's f***ing, we should sell that, I mean, I'm sure the, I bought it on eBay? Probably. Probably contacting that photographer. Or is it like MLB owned? We should sell that. I mean, I'm sure the... I bought it on eBay, dude. I'm sure it's not an official shirt.

But we should officially sell that shirt. It's fucking awesome. Dude, I look good. I look young. I look fit. I look healthy. I got a tan. Watch the back tie here on landing. No, that's the first thing I watched. It lands on like the skewed bit.

It like bounces and wiggles over. God damn, it hurt. I really thought the chain popped off the first time I watched it. It does. It just pops itself back on every time. God damn, dude. And that was legit maybe the 14th attempt.

I think it was the 8th. Our 8th. I was running on empty by the end. Yeah, after that one, I thought you were hunched over to the side in my head i was like he's gonna eat shit on the next one i really shouldn't make him do it again although eating shit would have looked amazing at that frame rate i gotta say i felt like there was no way for this trick to live up to the hype just because of the unfortunate way that we recorded this summer. And we just keep pushing it off.

But I'm still but but that being said, I think we did about as good a job with it as possible. It was a surprise because in my head, this was going one of two ways. So these are going to be way, way more impressive than I could have imagined. Or like Gavin said, you're going to get an inch of air off this little jump and it would have been funny in a completely different way you landed perfectly in the middle it's a good trick not the greatest thing I've ever seen impact fantastic what is the best bike trick you've ever done Gavin um not sure I've ever done a bike trick oh I used to do that thing was it ghosty that is I have no idea you like you start riding your bike

down a hill and then you jump off and it keeps going and then you run and try and catch up with it and get back on it before it crashes into a parked car that's an awesome trick I've never seen before you got to do how do I film find me a hill okay and you'll teach me how to use the Phantom yeah I feel like this is a great little window into

it's like a new avenue of little shitty high effort side content yeah yeah it's like face originals is that what we called it and also it was it was nice to uh like as we're walking out there we're just talking about face we talk just talking about F*** face, we were talking about some different Aspects of the show, we were talking about how It's kind of sad That we can't easily record with Andrew in person But we were also talking about how much Fun it is, Andrew, just to imagine you And probably the imagination

Like our own imagination of you Is way better than the real you, potentially Wow, I don't know how to react To that Well the thing is, I've met you twice And you know, it's been fine One of the times you didn't talk to me or stand up Because you were stuck in a chair

And the other time, I assume it was the first time we met And it was very brief So all of my best experiences with you have been Just your voice and imagining you in person That's true We've definitely spent more time in that space But I mean, that's for all you guys It's just the distance But who knows, that's for all you guys. This is the distance.

But who knows? You might be a blast in person. I don't know what that means. I don't either. The fact that I don't... Okay, well, if you don't, I was going to say, I don't know if that means I'm not. I don't know what you mean by that. I just haven't spent that much time with you. Okay.

You guys are in constant communication. Yeah, we spend time together constantly. I mean, in real life. You don't spend any time with me in real life, dude. What do you imagine is going on? Like, what levels of fun? What are you missing in the physical experience? What are you hoping for?

I don't know. I just feel like the little snippets of your life that we hear about or see in picture form. Okay. You want to be in my kitchen at 1am with a kettle stuck on a ramen bowl is what you're saying. I think that is. I think what he's saying is, and if I'm hearkening back to the conversation we had, the imagining you going through these situations is probably more fun than seeing it in person,

but it would still be fun to see in person. Yeah. It's going back to how the audience thought you sat in the dark. It's the imagination of you that's so intriguing. Yeah, but it's not like we... I mean, I could be...

We should do this for an episode one day. I'm not going to do it right now. I don't have the energy, but I could probably walk out of my house right now, get in my car and drive to Gavin's house and be there in less than seven minutes. But we don't ever, ever, ever, ever do that. We never spend time together in person. Yeah, I mean, that's been a good excuse. We have spent a lot of the last decade.

I mean, we lived together for several years. Yeah, but I guess that's true. I guess I'm discounting all the time that we lived together for several years. Yeah, but I guess that's true. I guess I'm discounting all the time that we lived together. I was reminded of a situation the other day. It might have been in your drinking days. I'm not sure if you remember it. It probably was. It was in the morning.

I just woke up. It was probably like a Saturday. I assume you'd been up for a bit. It was probably like 8.30. And I walk out into the main living room. And I think you're playing some video game and i and you were like the couch layout you were like sat slightly in front like where you were on the tv and i just sat on like the corner of the couch in the back and i and i was like oh and you made you made some sort of noise as if to acknowledge me and

the i think poppins was there too like it was that long ago and then i was watching you play for a bit and you were like what and then i said something about the game you were playing i was like what does it mean when you do that and you went and you didn't know i was there and it turns out the acknowledgement noise you'd either been like saying something to the dog or you just made like a grunt or something that was completely irrelevant to me you had no idea that i'd come out of my room and sat behind you and we scared the shit out of each other and that was like some of the joyous moments of us living together do you remember that at all no i don't remember that at all that i if it was poppins though i remember the house

we spent thousands of days together it's true. And with Andrew, I'm at two. And so much of it was focused on making content together, too. Like, so much of it was us building shit in Minecraft or whatever for the other job. Yeah, it was usually, like, at least a few hours every Saturday and Sunday we'd be in Minecraft. I just, I remember there's another time we spent together, Gavin, and you made fun of, you laughed at me. So I don't feel like you're missing out on the experience. went to no it's not what you said you laughed at my actions we went to an arcade it was you Caleb and I went to pinballs one time oh and we were rotating out I don't know if you'll remember this we're rotating out on a time crisis machine and I held the gun

like you're supposed to hold a gun and you caleb just laughed at me that was the read that so that's that's an experience you had but i also wasn't a fun time i remember i found there's like a what do you call like the quarter machine like the coin is it a coin pusher where like the thing goes in and out and you drop coins into it and you're trying to get it's usually like tokens and yeah i didn't have i like i just had a twenty dollar bill on me and i was like i'll just put 20 into this and that got me like 10 000 coins so i spent the entire time just sat at this wizard of oz machine while you guys went around and had fun and did stuff but i was gonna get all

the cards andrew honest question what are the chances that i wasn't there uh you were 100 there absolutely i have absolutely no memory of it we picked you up and then we drove the pinballs and then jack showed up later who did you actually pick up it was you or is this during your drinking days gavin this is what we're gonna find out this this is what we're gonna find out this entire time andrew thought gavin was dan grishy or Ben Cain. Do you know some other British guy? We know I do. I didn't go. I was I was never a pinballs with you. You 100% were at pinballs with me.

We need to get fuck. We need to ask. I was gonna say we Caleb, but he died years ago. What about we could ask minor league fan Jack, but we already did that bit. I could I could try to call Caleb. I don't know.

Yeah. Yeah. I haven't talked. I'm like 99% sure I've never haven't talked to Caleb in a long time. I'm like 99% sure I've never been to Pimbles with you. You are 100%. Should we put money on it? Should we wait?

Is this a wager? I would put anything on it. Surely I'd have pictures of that. No, we didn't. Like, as I said, I spent... I understand why you'd not think I was there because I was married to a Wizard of Oz machine for like 80% of our experience.

I like pinballs because nobody goes there to play pinball. No, I went to the pinball machine and it was fun. There's a bunch. There's a great, but you're right. Pinball is great. I really like pinball. It's like the best thing to go do but you like owning a machine is a nightmare from what i understand like it's one of the worst investments

you can have just because of the constant maintenance especially the old ones can't get a lot of parts hey remind me before we end this podcast i want to take a point of personal privilege to do a clarification on some condiment stuff, but not in a bad way. Oh, what was the reaction to your participation in the condiment segment? Well, so let me just say, if you want to get into it now, if we're done with the pinball saga, I still think we should figure out some sort of bet. I agree.

Well, let's see. I would love to know who you picked up. Okay, I'm going to call Caleb right now. Yeah, please call Caleb right now. And I guess I should say, Caleb is, if you're listening to this podcast and you don't know who you picked up I'm going to call Caleb right now please call Caleb right now Caleb is if you listen to this podcast and you don't know who the fuck Caleb is why would you can you hear me

I can hear you Caleb you got to let him know you're on a podcast Caleb I already told him that already he knows he's on no you didn't hear it because I missed it doesn't matter Caleb do you remember when we went to pinballs to pinballs yes the first time i went to austin i stayed with you we went to pinballs you took me to pinballs i mean it sounds about right i honestly don't have a recollection of it that's unfortunate for me i you you took me to pinballs and we picked up

gavin and we all went to pinballs g Gavin says it never happened it definitely happened definitely happened you do not sound confident I'm confident because I know I've gone to pinballs with you and I know I've gone to pinballs with Gavin and so chances are that you were both there but I don't remember if you both were there okay that's not a that's not confirmation he's like he's

like hold on his kids talking he's like hold on sweetie daddy's lying real fast. I'd first like to point out how much Andrew nailed having someone on speakerphone come through Discord. It's not hard. It's not hard. I don't know how Jeff balls it up with Jack. You point the thing at the mic. That's what I did.

So, sorry. Condiments. You want to talk about condiments? I missed that. I don't think that was a... I don't think Koolie Caleb has proved anything. No, it didn't. It confirms that he's with the pinballs.

It reminded me that Caleb is content cancer. He's good for that. No, he's not. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. We made a video with Caleb that I think is great. Yeah, he's a little screen looker.

Andrew, name anything else that happened at pinballs that would trigger my memory like a conversation we had okay so um what is that that game we also did the thing where uh you the the lift goes up and you got to get the key through the hole to win the prize it's at the front at that time was at the front of the arcade i did that and you watched everybody watched and then the guy there's somebody who recognized you guys and he ran over and yelled at me was like no don't do it it's not ready yet like that machine will not give you anything do not put money into that you know what i 100% remember that i was playing i was the end the key you were pointing i believe at the thing to try to give me a point of reference of where i was before. Yeah. And I didn't get close.

They only, like, go through the slot every, like, thousand attempts or something. Yeah. And he was like, it's nowhere close to being at that thousandth attempt. Like, the guy, it was like I was about to die or something or, like, step on a landmine. And the guy was like, no, don't stop. Just stop. In my head, that was Jack that was saying it's not ready. No.

Well, Jack was there, too. He came in in the middle. But it was we picked you up and we dropped you you are you're absolutely right i why would i make that up what a weird it was me i have that memory but you're not there that's so messed up i wonder who i replaced you with jack apparently yeah you are you yeah but it wasn't jack playing in my you copied and pasted jack over andrew's face in your memory man what we've hung out more than i remember i mean not a lot like it's gone from two times to three times but yeah that is

that dude that's a 50 increase yeah that is true I'm excited for the next time we hang out. I like, yeah, we need to figure, I feel like there's going to be a lot of pressure. Oh, not only, oh shit,

not only, oh my God, Caleb has a fucking picture of it. No. And he put it up with a date, April 17th, 2015.

There's Gavin Free and Andrew Patton standing next to each other playing time crisis and you both look by the way you both look very unhappy it was I think it was the first no I guess the second night I don't know I don't remember I'll be honest Andrew I had no idea that there was a picture of us together it exists I didn't know that either i had no idea i had no holy shit damn what i think is fascinating is that what i remember about that experience you've disregarded and the thing that i had to like dig up and try to refine in my brain was like that was the moment for you so now what

was the what were the terms when gavin law you have to eat the dead wasps now, right? Is that what we said? That has blown my mind. Andrew, there's a picture of us together. Yeah. Well, I mean that, yeah. It exists. I don't know what to say. This is not at all extraordinary to me. This is just the memory I have. You know, your nose does look sturdy.

I'll give you that. It's a very sturdy nose. God, our friend Caleb delivers again. always say that that guy's content is old yep that's what you always say oh man wow phenomenal i feel like i feel like such a knob now andrew i'm sorry i'm sorry i forgot you were there hey no that's fine i don't it was uneventful as i said my memory is you guys laughing at me. So it's okay. It's fine that you've erased it.

So you were holding the gun like a firearm? That's most of my memory of you guys was me. Were you doing like trigger discipline? Well, that's the thing. I don't, I've never really watched anyone else play light gun games. I assume they hold the gun like you're supposed to hold a gun. And you guys thought I was taking it way too seriously, I guess. I just thought I was playing the game. It's not my fault you're supposed to hold a gun and you guys thought I was taking it way too seriously I guess I just thought I was playing the game

it's not my fault you're lazy at gun games wow Caleb has impressed me a lot with that what a fun little episode this what a great little gift this turned out to be I want to know about the condiments because i feel like we keep like right yeah and then pulling away yeah so i should preface by saying uh i listened to that episode uh as i heard my girlfriend listening to

it as well and uh after she listened that episode uh she had a goddamn intervention with me about whether i'm uh depressed and, and, and miserable or not in life. And I had to, sure. I'm in a, I'm in a lovely place right now, but I will admit that,

uh, that, that, that I sound particularly down in that episode. And I'd like to say that part of it, I think, and I don't know if you guys have listened to the most recent episode with the condiment fight.

I remember it. There's somewhere between, and I don't want to aggrandize, but I think there's legitimately somewhere between five and 20 minutes of me yelling at you guys that Nick very rightly cut out. I think it's a masterpiece by Nick's part for how that episode turned out compared to what it was like recording it. There's a lot of me articulating the finer points of my argument

that got cut uh which is totally fine i think i think i think it's not where i thought you're going with the the best possible job uh of cutting that episode together but it goes for me like ramping up and then suddenly i'm very defeated and you miss the part where i explode over and over again and get tired and and so i i feel, I look very defeated at the end of it. And I guess I was, not to mention the fact that it also happened like right around the time that like my uncle died and I had to go out of town

and I was doing a lot of traveling and juggling and everything in my house was on fire. And I was just like kind of particularly beat down. And then I went on vacation and I feel fucking great right now. So I had to, I had to sway Emily's's fears i was worried that that one couldn't come out because it was it like none of this is funny if the anger is real in my opinion and it was it was getting real nick cleaned up some of the more real stuff and i actually sent him a message afterwards i was like wow you completely

saved that episode i don't know how you did it. That must have been like surgery. But because of because of a lot of it being cut, including a lot of like my the point of my arguments and the meat of my arguments, there are two there are two little inconsistencies that have that I've seen pop up over and over again by comment leavers that I would just like to clarify, point out, take a point of personal privilege to clarify. just like to clarify, point out personal privilege to clarify. One, people seem to be, I guess, by the way I wrote my initial recipe or the way it was written or read, people seem to get the impression that the tater tots were a part of the recipe. They never were. The tater tots were, we were designing the ultimate condiment for tater tots. It was a tot dipper or a tot sauce.

And so people keep saying like like approaching it like i was saying part of the my recipe is to create tater tots it wasn't you got to take that out of the out of the like the tater tots are there in gavin's meal they're there in andrew's meal as well so you can't you can't hit me for cooking tater tots that's that's just ludicrous i mean it comes down in general to the fact that the whole thing started from French, which is French dressing and ranch. And the conversation was, which condiments would you mix together to make the ultimate condiment?

And we just didn't tell you that that was the origin of it. We just left it out. That's the other part of the conversation. It was just omitted because we were all in on it to begin with. I think that that's the other thing that gets dropped. And the other point I wanted to make is I had no access to this French conversation. I had no, I had no breaking bad context, like context. It literally started for me when Andrew said, could you design the ultimate condiment? And I said, so I just have to build a condiment and you go, whatever you want,

make a condiment. So I didn't understand the context or the history behind it. I was just trying to make a condiment. The only rules I was given were make the ultimate condiment for tater tots. And in my head, as soon as I heard tater tots, I thought ketchup or cheese. That ketchup seemed like too easy, an easy route to go. So I went with cheese and I went down the cheese route. But I just want to make those two points of clarification. Stop telling me that I misunderstood the French argument because I never heard the French argument. Well, everyone else kind of did the same thing, though. Stop telling me that I misunderstood the French argument because I never heard the French argument. And then...

Everyone else kind of did the same thing, though. I think you went way out on left field. I do like that you're too clarification. No, this is not heated at all. And anyway... The thing that you're saying is about to get me heated and unfair. I was trying to be very magnanimous about it. I was just trying to clear up these two little points of conversation.

The only information I was given is design the ultimate condiment. That's totally true. I didn't have the same information y'all did. You did not have the French context. I assume Nick probably had a little bit more of that French context than I did. No, he did not. The same as you did. The thing is, when i say that it's

like it's not fun if the anger is real i feel like yeah i should also clarify like when when we do get annoyed at stuff in the episode or when stuff is frustrating in our lives it is like it is real anger like it is like we're not just pretending but it's when the anger ends with man do i even want to make this podcast anymore that's what i feel like it's it's gone too far so it's not like we're pretending all the rest of the time it's just like you don't want it to be you don't have a detrimental effect on the people in it for sure for sure sure yeah absolutely that wasn't even for me a thing of anger i was just more confused by everything that was happening i didn't understand what was going on or why? Nobody was more confused than me from the constant gaslighting.

There was no gaslighting. It's confusing. I feel like you're doing a bit again. No, I'm not doing a bit. But if you want to get into it, you literally are telling me, see, I think you've designed a lovely condiment, but what we're asking for is a sauce.

And then later on, you tell me this is a sauce, not a condiment. There was a lot of confusing conversation going around left and right there. So, look, I don't want to get upset again. All I wanted to say is that I don't think it's fair for people to complain that tater tots are a part of my recipe because they were a part of everybody's recipe. For sure. And nobody told me about the French conversation. They just said, make a condiment.

That's all. That's fair. And so I made a condiment. I made a condiment for tater tots because that's what I was asked to do. Well, even though that bit didn't go the way that we'd originally planned, would you be offended, Jeff, if in future I do make your top condiment and eat it on a show? Would I be offended?

Well, is it going to bring up the past? Because I actually genuinely want to eat that. Yeah, it sounds like there was never a question of, is it good? What you made sounds delicious. Is it... If you do it, no. If Andrew does it, probably. If I'm just being honest.

Because I know how you would treat it and handle it and deal with it, and I know how he would, and and handle it and deal with it. And I know how he would. And you would be respectful and he would be funny. OK, now I don't know how to process that because I wouldn't process it. However, however you feel, it's not meant to be an insult. I just I just think I know both of your sense of humor. I know how you handle situations. And I think that I would I think gavin would be a little

uh gavin knows me better than just about anybody and i think that he would handle it in a way that would keep me from blowing my top maybe it would be maybe it should be the first thing we do in person oh a cooking like a cooking statement no just like they're in the middle of the table okay yeah once again i don't want to get into again, I don't want to get into a whole... I don't want to get into a sauce versus condiment versus dipping sauce versus whether I was taking it too far or whatever. All I'm saying is...

I didn't know about the French conversation. I didn't understand the breaking bat of it. It was never communicated to me. And it's weird that people would say my dipping sauce or my condiment was too complicated because you have to make tater tots because that was a part of it for everybody. I just want to be judged on the same merits as everyone else. I like that just two clarifications were the audience is wrong for assuming this.

And also you guys are wrong. And it was edited out why I was so right. Those are your two clarifications. No, my clarification is the audience seems to has misconstrued that tater tots were a part of my angry or were a part of the process. And they're not. And two, that I wasn't a part of the French conversation. Those are my only two points of clarity. And I don't think that on the audience in any way.

I'm just cleaning up a miscommunication. I even gave the audience the benefit in any way. I'm just cleaning up a miscommunication. I even gave the audience the benefit of the doubt. And I said, I can understand how they would draw those conclusions because of Nick's amazing job of editing it. But he edited out the vast majority of that conversation. And once again, rightly so. So I just wanted to clear up those two little things. It's not an attack on the audience or it's not an attack on either view. I feel like I was polite and respectful to everyone involved. What I've learned from this experience is I would put and I didn't know this. I would now put definitions of sauce in the same category of people being like,

I don't want to talk politics. It's going to get heated. Don't talk about sauce definitions. It's I tweeted because I made a Venn diagram because I went in because I was trying to I wanted to find common ground within the episode. And it just we didn't it didn't work. But people are like, I don't consider olive oil a sauce. And I'm like, well, then what is it? Like, what would you consider? What is olive oil? That's interesting.

Like, is an oil. What is oil? I think it's so clearly a sauce. Is it a base? Well, let me read everydayhealth.com uh well it's gonna i because i'm curious now too uh olive oil is a liquid fat well you don't no one's like you want some fat on your salad like what do you mean i'm just saying what the definition of it is on wikipedia it says olive oil is a liquid fat. Andrew, you should try and make the highest calorie salad possible. Why?

It's listed as a cooking oil, culinarily. It's listed as a staple cooking oil. People are arguing that it was a dipping sauce. It's also used, extra virgin olive oil is mostly used as a salad dressing or an ingredient in salad dressings. But it can be dipped in

like a bit of oil and vinegar with a bit of Italian bread dumped in there. It's fantastic. I had that last night. I had that last night, actually. Damn. Yeah.

Eric's gonna blow his top. How long have we been going for? I'm in another meeting. People are talking to me while I have to listen to this i'm fucking losing my mind are you like one are you in one ear and then the meetings in the other ear yeah yeah hey what's up guys i'm still in the face recording but now they can hear me thank you so much for listening to this episode of face if you guys want to follow us at face pod on instagram

and on twitter check us out on youtube just check out any of the new content that we have on our YouTube channel. It's a lot of fun. Another place for you to consume the content. And we'll see you next time where apparently we're going to argue about tater tots again for a month straight. This is ridiculous.

Is he delivering the outro into his beating right now? Yes. I like that this guy is complaining. This sucks. I like that this guy is complaining about our content while trying to shut down content. Oh my god. Andrew's face just exploded by the sound of it.

What happened? I'm trying to... Because Eric is ending the show. It's like, I want to see what's happening with the fire extinguisher bag. I just cracked it open. Oh my god. He just does stuff

without any warning. What are you reacting to? Does it smell? Can you breathe? Oh god! The velociraptor! I'm getting drenched in poison now! I'm poisoned! End the show! It's book I'm poisoned. End the show.

It's bookended with poison. End the show. Well, tune in next week when Nick and Eric and I will still be alive. The wasp spray floated to Canada. Ah ha ha ha!