Regulation Podcast - Leaning on Gavin and Andrew Kind of // Sauce Bitcoin [55]

Episode Date: June 16, 2021

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about Geoff's CONTINUED dental & fridge sagas, Andrew's sauce drawer feat. BTS, the ending of the last podcast, the conclusion of the bet, and Andrew tries to drink 2 cans without burping. Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to [e-mail] Sponsored by: HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/12face) and Honey (http://joinhoney.com/face) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to F*** Face, number 55. What age are your friends? Uh, 30s. Are they all older? Yeah, they're all older. It's kind of funny. Are you friends with anyone your own age? No. No, I'm anyone your own age? No. No, I'm not.

I think that... Go ahead, Jack. I like that you assume that you know Andrew's age. I mean, we know an age that he's told us over time, but I don't know that it's accurate, or even if it is, that he would accept that it's accurate. You're going to find out... Exactly. Eric just typed out 41.

I have no... I would not be surprised in the least if Andrew just said, what do you mean? I am also in my 30s. I could be a Benjamin Button. I always thought he was similar to us,

or not us, but me. I thought he was similar to me in age. And then I think you said once that you were born in the late 90s

or something. And I was like, I don't know. I was like mid 90s or 94. I was born in 94. Yeah. Ace Ventura,

Pet Detective. Haven't seen it. It's a blind spot for me. I'm missing a lot of key Jim Carrey movies. Yeah, I remember it now. It's the year that came out. Is it? Is 94 a good movie year? Isn't like 99 a great movie year?

Isn't that like the famous movie year? Is Jurassic Park 93 or 94? 94 I think was great for Jim Carrey. I mean the 90s in general I feel like great for Jim Carrey. It's a great 90s in general, I feel like, great for Jim Carrey. Yeah. It's a great year. Great movie year.

How are you doing, Jeff? I'm good. How are you? I'm great. I have some questions for you. Yeah, listen. Before we get into this, I'll just come out and say it. The last two podcasts have been just a vomitous diatribe of all of the misery that constitutes the sloppy formation of cells that is me. Sloppy formation.

That's sloppy formation. So as this mind and body simultaneously start to slough off and break away into tiny chunks from just the myriad of just life bashing I've received. I think it would sound like Thanos snapped you. Yeah, it has left me, well, if he had, I wouldn't be talking. Wouldn't have to go through it. It's like if it's happening really slowly, though, over the course of like a week and a half.

Yeah, or it's like undecided. So what I'm saying is, it's left me in a diminished state. Right. I feel kind of like if, I feel like of like if, I feel like an empty vessel that is empty of any kind of joy or comedy. So I was going to lean heavily

on you two this week. Great. That works totally fine. Before we, I feel like we need to just catch up on a few things because it's been a week since we talked.

We first just need to say, I was devastated to learn that it wasn't Kim and Kanye on the jet ski. What a disappointing realization. I found that out too. And I think that I'm not even going to bother. Well, supposedly, supposedly it's not.

It's like a, it's like a Snopes thing, like a, like a, a pretty well established urban myth. But I'm keeping that one because my, my girlfriend and all of her friends that love the Kardashians and that

hang out on celebrity gossip blogs and Instagram and all that shit, they all think it's real and I'm not crushing any of their dreams. Yeah, it's like a tooth fairy thing at this point. Yeah, I see. Well, it is perfect. Like, as I said, Kanye West's entire music career really feels like it's building to that moment. His

discography is perfect for it. Would you be annoyed if everyone thought you ate it on a jet ski, but you didn't? Oh, absolutely not. I'd love that. I get the story of it without having to deal with the pain. It's great. Pretty fucking annoying to go through life with everybody thinking

that I was in a ball pit once. I'm so fucking sick of that Photoshop. Yeah. I think I'd hate it. Have you been in a ball pit once. So I'm so fucking sick of that Photoshop. I was. Yeah, I think I'd hate it. Have you been in a ball pit, though? In my life? Yeah.

Have you been at a certain points? I have. OK, so it's factually correct in a sense. You've had that experience. It just isn't. Yeah, it's just it's just I'm not Patrick Stewart. Yeah, that didn't happen to you. That specific case.

Any root canals, jeff in the last week any dental issues going on what's going on oh no i thought this would be no i thought you'd say no and we'd move on no well yeah so okay well when i got my root canal the lady you know they had to put a temporary crown on and the lady said um this glue's a little messy and i i there might i might have got a little on on the on on the back of your tooth there but it'll come off and i go uh okay uh and she goes it'll it'll go away in like a day or two and i could feel a little bit of rough spot back there and then I didn't think too much of it

and then like three days later a chunk of glue came out of my mouth that was the size of it was like a finger like finger to knuckle long and I thought my mouth was falling apart I had forgotten about

it and I sat down with this thing that came out of my mouth, looking at it, trying to figure out what the fuck was going wrong inside of me and it probably took a good 45 seconds to realize that that was the thing that had released

and it was way bigger than she'd given me the impression and probably way bigger than it should have been and probably should have been cleaned up. But anyway, so yeah, I had about a 45, 46 second period there

where I almost shit my pants because I thought my mouth was falling out. I haven't been back to the dentist because I don't get to go yet. But I do have to go in two weeks to get the permanent crown put on. Okay. So just until then,

just until then, I can't eat on the left side of my mouth. So what I am in essence doing, and I continue to do because the other root canal was on this side, is I'm just over chewing on the right side of my mouth, which A, I assume wears down my teeth more on that side, which means it's going to create an imbalance of tooth problems on the right side down the road. But also, I'll be honest with you, I'm getting really strong on the right side of my mouth

and on the left side not so strong, so I'm like that guy in that M. Night Shyamalan movie. I got one big-ass mouth muscle on the right and one tiny ass mouth muscle on the left. And it does me no fucking good because I'm not Sylvester Stallone and over the top and I can't win any fucking fights with it. You're just like a charger, but it's in your face. Yeah, I'm like a face charger. I'm a cheek charger.

I'm a cheek charger. Okay. That's how the dentist is going. The dentist is great. What else you got, Andrew? I got other things. I want to, how's Applejack in your fridge? Do you still, any Applejack updates?

Is the fridge broken? What is happening with your fridge? Yeah, is this still a broom? Yeah, are you still having to set up like a home alone trap to keep your door closed? Well, this is, okay. Well, I eventually was able to get to a furniture, to a place to get a quote.

So I've gone to the process of getting a new refrigerator quoted out. Now the price of that refrigerator, we won't get into. We're gentlemen here. Yeah, of course. But the price, I'll put it in, I'll also say this too. Here's the situation with the fridge currently.

It is, it is cold. Okay. The nice little Russian man was able to eventually get it working. I have no idea what he did

because, and I don't know that he did either, but we got it working. He led me to believe that it would work for three days or three months maybe, but not much longer.

To fix it properly, he said, would cost $2,600, which seems like a lot of money. Seems like more than most people would pay for a fridge. Let me tell you something. That $26 is a drop in the bucket compared to replacing that fridge. Once again, we won't go into that price. Yeah.

Wait, when did it become $26? You mean $2,600? $2,600. Oh, okay. That's what I said, $2,600. Is that what you said? No, he said it 26, the first, he said $2,600, and then he said $2,600.

Oh, second thought. I said it twice, $2,600. So, but after he left, and Emily and I decided, do we test using this thing? Do we immediately go buy the new fridge? What do we do? And we said,

let's just use it in the media in the short term while we figure this out because it is a eight week order on the fridge. Uh, because don't know, I don't know if you know this, but it's impossible to get anything in America right now because nothing's been being made for like the last year and a half and supplies are low. So,

uh, I can't get a, so I, I still haven't ordered the new fridge yet because I can't bring myself to do it i'll get into that for a second uh if you want to talk about complicating a life uh so uh so i'm sitting right now uh on on a cold fridge that's working today i don't know what'll happen tomorrow but a funny thing that did happen like two days after the guy left and then emily and i made the decision let's ride the fridge out for a little bit longer all the lights burned out in it so now i got a fridge and a freezer they're just fucking dark as nicks dude i can't see shit in it but

they're cold i just got no fucking lights all the lights what wait how many lights what are we talking you got fridge lights you got freezer lights i don't know they're fucking burned out so now i can't see shit i just luckily I got lights in my kitchen, so that works. And it's not deep. It's not like I got to go spelunkering to find shit. And also, luckily, everything that was in the fridge and everything that was in the freezer went bad. So it's not like there's anything to see in there anyway.

I got some mustard and I got some Popeye's popsicles. That's about fucking... Oh, and I have a lime Waterloo soda water. And that's fucking it. That's what my fridge is. Why didn't the mustard go bad? It's new mustard. So does mustard not need to be in the fridge?

Oh, I don't know. I don't know. Don't bug me about mustard, dude. I'm just telling you what's in my fridge right now. I have one question about the fridge. Is the price of the new fridge more or less than the price of a new jet ski uh they're they're about the same and to be clear i could buy a fridge the fridge is so expensive because of how large it is right that's the issue it's it has to fit within a specific

cabinet yeah because other geniuses of friends of mine, they're like, hey, dummy, don't get a big fridge to fit the space. Get a tiny fridge and put it in there. And then I go, yeah, but then I got a half a fridge space around it. And they go, no, that's when you get more custom cabinets built. Yeah.

You know how much custom cabinets cost? They cost, well, A, A, they cost three times more than you quoted, and B, it costs three months of your life. I don't want to go fucking I don't want a hole in my house I don't want another three months of cabinet building this time in my kitchen

last time it was in a library I didn't use now it's in the middle of god damn fucking shithole house so I'm not going to do that I'm going to buy a fucking refrigerator I think I can't make the decision because I realize the point if I'm going gonna buy, I'm gonna spend jet ski money on another

refrigerator, maybe I should sell the house and buy a new one. So that's what I gotta deal with. Do I buy another fucking house in Austin, Texas in the worst time in the history of the planet Earth to buy a house in Austin, Texas? Or do I

just continue to pump thousands of thousands of dollars into the hell spawn muddy pit that is my home? I don't know, guys. I'm on the fence trying to figure it out. Fridge or new home, help me out here because I don't know what to do.

It has to be pointed out. The kindest thing Jeff maybe has ever done on this podcast is say hypothetical idiots and not Gavin who made the cabinet suggestion last week that was Gavin's idea I know that wasn't my idea you know you absolutely said

you could do new cabinets 100% I haven't stopped thinking about it since he said it it's the dumbest fucking thing I've heard. I don't think it's a terrible idea. I mean... You know how much fucking hell I went through just from you two idiots over the last round of shelves that I had built?

You think I'm going through that again anytime soon? I just thought you're the shelf guy. You love shelves. You love shelves. Okay, well, I didn't realize that was my suggestion. So that's where we are with the fridge. Do I buy a new house or not? I don't know. The fridge

problem is, do I buy a new house? It's fantastic. I'm sorry. Next question. Yeah, I'm not done, actually. How is the pipe? Did you fix the pipe with the leak in it? Slash, is the wall fixed? Wall's fixed.

What's going on with that? Okay, wall's fine. Everything's fine. All right, so does the paint match? Yeah, yeah. All that's good. All that's good, right? All that's good.

I had to rip that fucking enclosure out, and then I had to fucking, you know, because the fucking asshole, the fucking asshole who flipped this house, sorry, buddy, I'm sure you're a nice guy, but motherfucker, you know, he did this really cool thing where he built this enclosure around a washer and a dryer

that fits really snugly, and then it's like, it's basically the washer and the dryer become like a countertop, and it's. And then it's like, it's basically the washer and the dryer become like a countertop and it's pretty and it's like wood and stuff. And then to fix the wall, I had to take all that apart. And that's when I realized what he did to put it together. And I'm scared of this house now

because I saw his handiwork up close. I really am. And so is it fine? Yeah, the leak got fixed and I eventually got the washer and the dryer back in place

and then it got painted and then I barely put this fucking piece of shit enclosure back together right because it was not

built well initially and it was hard and I had to break it six ways to Sunday to get it apart otherwise I couldn't get the fucking leak fixed

right so it's not like I had a choice it's either I can have an enclosure or a leak Otherwise, I couldn't get the fucking leak fixed, right? So it's not like I had a choice. It's either I can have an enclosure or a leak, right? So I chose to have the leak fixed and then try to put the piece of shit enclosure back together, which I've done. But anyway, but that brings me to another point

that I suspect that this guy's a fucking... I've had a problem for a long time since I bought this washer and the dryer, which were brand new to this fucking house, by the way. I bought them and stuck them in there. I'm pretty sure that the goddamn enclosure makes the goddamn dryer overheat all the goddamn time because it probably shouldn't be closed up like that. And I don't know what to fucking do about it because to take it apart again is going

to make all kinds of fucking trouble. So now I just got to restart my goddamn dryer every 30 minutes. I like the fact that you said you're going to be relying heavily on us this episode. Yeah, this is... Yeah, I got nothing to talk about. This is what happened. This is what happened. This is what hap- no.

This is what happened since last time. This is what happened since the last time. I stopped the recording, I said goodbye to you two guys, and then I turned off and I sat in the dark and I tried not to talk to a repairman or an electrician or a plumber or anyone. I just sat there in the quiet and I watched Survivor and I tried not to talk to a repairman or an electrician or a plumber or anyone. I just sat there and I quiet and I watched Survivor. And I tried not to make eye contact with the world. And I tried not to breathe too loud. And I just tried not to.

I just tried. I just tried. That's all. And so nothing has happened in my life other than a season and a half of Survivor. And me, you know, just fucking dealing with just trying to cope with this. What season of Survivor are you on? I'm on 27. 27, okay.

I believe it's blood versus water. Oh, great season. Yeah, it's a great season. I'm pretty sure a dryer is one of the few things that you can't overheat because it has a specific hot air vent pipe. That goes through the wall, right? Yeah, I think you're correct. Then why does my dryer

go E3, E3, overheating, overheating all the time? And when I brought the dryer repairman out for it, he goes, no, it seems to be working fine. I don't know. I'm not going to bring that guy out again. I've already had two dryer repairmen look at it, Gavin.

Two! I feel like building furniture around appliances especially in this day and age where nothing lasts anymore is so short sighted like people oh my god do I agree with you

it's like what are you doing I'd rather have furniture that lasts longer than electronics so why am I why am I staring at furniture that doesn't match the thing that was built for anymore?

Ridiculous. Wherever you're going, you better believe American Express will be right there with you. Heading for adventure? We'll help you breeze through security. Meeting friends a world away? You can use your travel credit. Squeezing every drop

out of the last day? How about a 4pm late checkout? Just need a nice place to settle in? Enjoy your room upgrade. Wherever you go, we'll go together. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamx. Benefits vary by card.

Terms apply. You got any custom shit, Andrew? You got any custom furniture that's around appliances? No. I don't have anything. I got a desk and a bed and a fridge. That's all I have. I don't have any. There's no built-in appliances where I live.

It's pretty easy. I think a cool idea would be a desk that had a built-in waffle maker in the desk. Ooh. I have a sauce drawer that's a pretty cool part of my desk okay okay okay okay hold on uh elaborate and can you inventory the sauce drawer uh yeah i could uh i mean we're gonna we're gonna go down a row to sauces eventually in this episode i have so my desk i got three drawers on my desk left side it's all my collectible stuff i got cards in there anything that i deem collectible value put it in the left side middle

that's the important papers cards whatever information serious stuff in the middle cabinet cards yeah you know like my social security all that shit middle middle desk area the right cabinet right drawer sauces it's all about sauces i got my sauces i got straws i got some some cutlery some plastic cutlery never known you need it that's my food drawer the right drawer my desk you can open it right now i got mainly it's honey mustard we we got a lot it here I can take a photo I'll be one second you actually have your phone on you here in the middle of a podcast and it's charged did you charge it last night oh I sure did Gavin I'm learning okay I'm going away here but I'm learning this is a oh boy okay so now it's a whole thing

I don't have discord on my phone, so this is where the chaos begins. So I gotta send the photo to here, and then I'll go to my tablet. Is this what it's like when I try to send stuff to you guys? Oh, yes. Yes, it is this. I get it. I get it. There's a clear

path on this. I'm genuinely excited to see this photo, though. I feel like if I know a photo is coming from Andrew Penton and i'm about to have just a little window into his weirdo world i'm so excited i'm so less interested in the photo but and what's around the photo like yeah like what's the stuff that isn't the subject of the photo yeah yeah i don't think there's a lot going on as far as not that not the subject uh my tablet's almost dead, so we're gonna... Okay, well... We're gonna pivot to my sauce story. Lesson not entirely learned.

No. Well, I didn't, you know... Hey, we're not all perfect at all times. This is my sauce drawer at the moment. I got some ketchups. Oh my god. You got some honey mustards. You got a syrup. There's two syrups in there. Whenever I get extra... Whatever sauce, I just throw it in the sauce drawer.

Heinz Honey Mustard Bistro. Yeah, that's the Wendy's Honey Mustard right now. They used to have a branded. I don't know when it flipped, but since I guess I do since the pandemic, they don't have it anymore. What's in the dotted drawer? What is in the dotted little box? The dotted box. That's a great.

I think it's just bullshit. It's just bullshit in that. I don't know where it's really in there it's not so random related no it's not sauce related you have I can see the edge of a plate on your desk is that the edge of a plate no that's my mousepad that's a really big drawer that's a massive drawer it's a big it's a big drawer sauce so we need to move the sauces. Do you know what a BTS is? The K-pop band. I didn't know what BTS was.

BTS is a K-pop band. They have a McDonald's combo right now. Much like the Travis Scott meal. They got a whole nugget. It's a 10-piece nugget meal with fries with two sauces that are i think new to the company they've never had these before i i don't know if you remember a few weeks ago we had a conversation about chugging sodas in a can um you never did that andrew yeah well they're on my desk gavin they're on my desk right now so i could do this you guys said it was nothing so i don't know if

it's even worth doing but last week i was going to do it but i couldn't find a place that sold canned so i thought i'll just order like a drink from mcdonald's and i found the bts meal and i found the sauces sauce is delicious i'm a big fan of sweet chili they have a sweet chili and a cajun sauce love the sweet chili so i ordered it i tried it i was like these are great they're limited they're gonna go away at the end of june it's too bad you only get two sauces per thing i love sauce i'm a big sauce guy so then i thought well on the app i've been told apparently in the past you cannot just buy sauces typically when it's a specialty sauce you need to order the meal it comes with but on the app

on doordash you could there's a sauce section i'm sure it's for every delivery app there is a condiment section and they had the nugget sauce in the condiment section so i did what any reasonable person would do i just ordered 75 nugget sauce of the sweet chili oh like without any other food nothing else just 75 i ordered a bag of sauce i'm like i was talking to eric about it and i was trying to figure out well what's the max here can i just order a big bag of sauce and then the concern is we accept the order i went all sauce okay so we ordered 75 sweet chili sauce to my shock i kept waiting for them to say this is a criminal act you cannot do this we are shutting down your order but it just kept advancing to the next phase so it just kept building and building i was so excited they surely budget out their what their inventory with the amount of

meals like if they're only giving two per meal they probably know exactly how many meals they can sell you're you're basically ruining no entire system oh no okay listen they got they got nugget boxes gavin they got bags they got cups it's a whole there's all sorts of combinations for it and they're selling the sauce independently i didn't uh i just enjoy it so i bought it honestly expecting it to get canceled yeah But it didn't. Bart arrived, the person who delivered it, and he dropped off. Didn't even get any other food for it. No.

Not even just like a cheeseburger. Nope. Not any other food, just 75 sauces. So I now have this bag of sauce in front of me. And I know it's sauce. It's like,

it's a huge bag. But you don't know, sometimes, have you ever ordered food from somewhere, and they're like, ah, we don't have it, so we replaced it with this i get that mainly i guess like when i ordered the stuff to make the cheese sandwich the brand's the sandwich they're like we don't have turkey so we just threw ham in instead i was worried that i ended up with a bag of fucking just

hot mustard nobody wants 75 hot mustard but they gave me i'm trying to find the photo of it they gave me the bag had the sauce the bag had the bts sauce in it i had 75 they gave it to me i just had 75 of the sweet chili so then i thought well what how far can i push this so i tried to do it i tried to do a second order well firstly how much did the 75 cost not much they're 20 cents a container so it's really cheap to go like buy it a surplus of sauces so i tried to i tried to double down on this in the evening i did a round two of sauce orders i tried to get a hundred cajun sauces and 30 more sweet chili really round it out have a nice hundred of each. That order was rejected. Well, that would have put you at 105 instead of 100.

Well, I would have had two sets. So I would have had, yeah, yeah. 205 sauces would have been the total. 100 Cajun, 105 sweet chili. Wait, are they 130 calories each? Yeah, I think so. I think so, yes. But Gavin, he wasn't planning on eating

all 75 at once. No, of course not. Oh, this is the bag. I'm going out of sequence here. So this is the bag I got. This is what 75 sauces in a bag looks like. It was heavier than the McDonald's bags. That's almost 10,000 calories.

You wouldn't know the horror that lies inside that bag. No, I was terrified. Honestly, I thought it could be bullshit. It could be hot mustard. When I opened and saw that that it was like when they opened the briefcase of pulp fiction it was just gold it's a pink glow because then i did research and people are fucking selling this for so much money like the bag and everything it's worth money i saw a bet for or a bet not a bet a bid it was two sauces one of each ten dollars somebody paid this is liquid gold this is you're looking at my retirement fund rating i have been on a sauce ordering spree ever since last week i just keep accumulating sauces every time i go to

place an order throw 40 sauces in there i'm a sauce guy i'm building a sauce empire you're a mcdonald's sauce profiteering guy now yes i am what i learned is that you have to gavin is right you throw in a little thing so now i'm ordering the meal with the sauce and then i throw in like give me 40 nugget sauces and then they add on to it that's been a reliable system they just don't care though because sometimes they'll give me 37 sometimes they'll give me 52 they give no fuck sometimes they'll get other sauce on top i'm just a fucking sauce factory at this point i'm about a week away from opening my own mcdonald's i hate everything about this i hate the waste the plastic waste the carbon footprint of sending for a little tiny it's awful everything oh man do you think that the sauces in

your old sauce drawer right now are feeling really fucking confused and abandoned well i was gonna replace the whole sauce drawer initially uh but now yeah i now when i get a honey mustard i'm like i don't need this well are they going in the fridge or are you just keeping them in the drawer i'm i'm storing this honey mustards in the drawer i'm storing the the sweet chili sauces and the cajun in another location i feel like this is like animal crossing turnips no they last longer so i did a little bit of research on that there's like a multiple month shelf life for sauces that you can extend if you refrigerate them but for like standard packaging it's it's months long it's not an imminent thing i've gotten to the point where i'm like i'm trying

to build up my sauce empire a little bit so this is like a creation i made yesterday talking about survivor i felt like i was in an immunity challenge it got really shaky on the right side trying to stack this tower up it's intimidating um so are you now more likely to sell them than eat them because otherwise that's if you're just eating gold... That's the dilemma. That's the problem. I made the fatal mistake of trying the sweet chili sauce before realizing I was going to build a sauce empire. I fucking love the sauce. I'm a big fan of it.

Even if I wanted to sell it, I'm running the risk of eating my entire supply. It's a problem. It's tough to resist. I don't know what I'm gonna do with the sauces from a profitability standpoint it would be absurd if i didn't try to sell them but the fucking sweet chili sauce is so good i don't like the cajun i'm not a big fan of the cajun sauce sweet chili is great why don't you why don't you sell the cajun sauce to finance your sweet chili empire. That's a great idea.

The thing is, Jeff, we gotta wait until June 21st, and then this is a fucking sauce ship to Mars. Right, right. We're gonna make all the money. It becomes the Szechuan sauce from Rick and Morty. It becomes Szechuan sauce 2.0. Exactly. Yeah, it's like when the artist dies and his work becomes more valuable.

Yeah, that's exactly absolutely correct. I went on to build other... I was trying trying to like i was trying to build the most epic sauce type structure i could make so we've done a few variations i was doing three by three and uh i got to 16 levels and it collapsed which was terrifying these are valuable goods i was playing i was playing a game and uh i got to the 16th floor then everybody just heard me go oh the entire tower just fell over saw a shot all over the place but uh right next to me and it is terrifying because it wobbles because every once in a while my fridge will violently vibrate because it's like chilling or whatever a fridge

does i don't know how fridges work but violently vibrate yeah like it might want to get out of the tap but sure no it's like a brief it's very it only lasts for like 30 seconds yeah so that's probably honestly that is probably what it is this is what i got right next to me right now to my right i got a whole sauce it's leaning a little bit it's not great now is that a black container or is that the color of the sauce that is a black container okay thank god yeah it is not it's kind of like a red and a yellowy sauce okay gotcha so what is what is the total number of sauces great question jeff that's fantastic what a great i think i have 116 sweet chili sauces and 73 cajun i want to say somewhere around there i'm close to 200 sauces and where are we taking this like what do you have an immediate goal

every you know and no it's sort of like i feel like i'm getting into the early levels of like bitcoin i'm just every time i order i throw some sauce in there i feel like i'm making penny investments and it's gonna really cash out at the end of june where are you gonna be selling these anyway you're gonna be shipping them across the country i mean i could theoretically do that i mean eventually going off island bts meal is very popular right now i can just go outside a mcdonald's you want a bts meal i got it right here well for the people who are too lazy to go all the way in no no no no when they stop selling the sauce I could be outside of McDonald's and be like oh you know it's really good with those nuggets sweet chili sauce oh they don't sell

it anymore interesting what would you what would you give and are you selling that are you going into McDonald's first and getting a load of nugs just so you can offer the complete package? Or are you making them do half the work? I think I would stand near the front till and anybody who ordered nugs, I'd then be like, hey, you know what? Would be really good with that. You're going to get kicked out so far. You should get a sign. Yeah, you get a sign like a scalper. Yeah.

Right? Maybe I set up like a lemonade stand outside of the mcdonald's and just be like sauces bts sauces here it's it's great this is my empire we're building you know what you should do in the meantime is while you're building up to that to help promote people help to keep the idea of these sauces fresh in people's minds so they don't forget about them because you know at some point mcdonald's minds so they don't forget about them. Cause you know, at some point McDonald's is going to, they're going to turn, they're going to ratchet down the marketing nozzle on this thing.

And so, you know, they won't be inundating Canadians with, with BTS sauces. Uh, so you'll have to pick up some of the slack. You've got something going here with, with this,

with this, I'm going to call it sauce art. the saw, the stackable sauce art. I could see you like, I could see, uh, i could see an eiffel tower coming out of this i could see a greek parthenon i could see you doing a lot of interesting historical things i could see you making some pretty cool and impressive art you put that on tiktok and instagram that's just going to help drive people to your sauce business when the time is right that's a great point i also i just feel like bts is very popular

from my understanding so i don't need to worry about the obscurity of the sauce going away. It's tied to a very large thing. Well, yeah, but if BTS isn't pumping McDonald's connection and McDonald's is no longer pumping the connection, somebody is going to have to be there to put to make that connection to,

you know, you're going to have to keep that. No, that's fair. I think you should try the sauces, both of you. And just, it's a great sauce. People are going to naturally miss this sauce. I think you should try the sauces, both of you. It's a great sauce. People are going to naturally miss this sauce. I got to be honest with you. At no point have I considered or desired to taste these sauces at any point in this conversation.

Really? You should. I'm probably going to do it after we finish. You should try the sweet chili. It is a fantastic sauce. I had McDonald's yesterday. I like ketchup. Ketchup is a great condiment.

It's the best condiment, without a doubt. It's worthless, though doubt you can't sell that to people can't sell it no heinz is still going they're not stopping anytime but i gotta i don't think you're selling a flavor i think andrew got sold on a flavor but i don't think it matters at all whether it tastes good or not i think you're selling the bts thing so it doesn't matter if i try it and like it that's fair i just think i would just i'm saying just as a food experience which feels fucking dumb to say about a mcdonald's i think you should try it i'd give the sweet are you gonna hire dealers to flog this stuff after it's gone away are you gonna be the one out on the stand that's an interesting thing i think i'm imagining you like a like a heisenberg yeah yeah or like a j Jesse. No, yeah, no, I was going to say, I think I might rewatch the wire is what I'm going to do.

And just take some notes and just like find a good corner and operate off of it. That might be the way. So remember Walter White got mad at Jesse for, uh, you know, trying the product. Um, you need to either be selling it or eating it, but I don't think both.

It's like the number one rule as a, of a drug dealer is you can't get high in your own supply yeah i gotta be honest with you andrew i feel like you're high right now no i'm not hot the issue is it's not like fucking walter white your sauce high right now i think you are i don't think that there are i don't think there's a lot of day that goes by that you're not you're not pretty close to or on the sauce. You know what? Listen, it's been tough. I'm not going to lie to you, but I've avoided sauce high.

I don't know if you've... There's a movie called Win It All, and the premise is like this guy gets a bag of money and he just has to hold it and not think about it, and he can't resist using it to gamble. That's how I feel about this sauce. I need to put it in like a duffel bag and throw it in a closet and just pretend it doesn't exist for the next month. Yeah, i need to put it like a duffel bag and throw it in a closet and just pretend it doesn't exist for the next yeah you need to hide it under the insulation in where

you're like your washer and dryer i need to reopen gavin safe that i bought and just put all the sauce in that and just lock it away because it is i'm not sauce high cheth but i'm constantly thinking about being sauce high every day. It is a struggle. I feel like the day the BTS product, you know, thing ends and you're like, alright, now's the day I get rich. You're gonna open up that sauce drawer and it's just gonna be a little sauce.

And you're gonna go, uh-oh. And then you're double fucked, because not only is it gone, but you were your own supply and you've just, you've run through your own supply and now you're the only addict not only is it gone, but you were your own supply and you've just you've you've run through your own supply. And now you're the only addict and you have no way to get it. You've created your own problem. It's going to be buying it off other people.

Andrew's going to be standing outside of McDonald's begging people to sell him sauce. Hey, anyone get some BTS sauce? Check your glove compartment for Floor your car. Anything? Maybe your trunk. He's rummaging through the bin. When was the last time you ate McDonald's? You're right.

I'm the person I'm selling to is me. I'm the person. This is a whole new perspective. Maybe I just enjoy the sauces and view it as a savings compared to what I'd be spending on the resale market. I don't know what I'm going to do. But yeah, I'm a sauce guy. We got a lot of sauces going on. Oh, that's funny as hell.

Yeah. Every week you have a new lifestyle change. I was going to bring it up last week and then Jeff just randomly ended the show. I was going to bring it up last week, and then Jeff just randomly ended the show in the last act. So literally, as soon as we stopped recording, I said to Eric, I have this dumb thing lined up with all these sauces.

Should I just do this? And then it became, I've become obsessed. I'm a sauce guy. I'm creating an empire. It's going to be great. June 21st is going to be an exciting time. Can I tell you guys, by the way, speaking of the way the last podcast ended, because like for whatever reason,

my audio cut out and I couldn't hear you guys. I assume it's an internet problem because why wouldn't it be? Why wouldn't it be something that would require me to call somebody to come out to my house and pay to get a fix? And probably do it three or four times. Which is on the list of things to do, God!

Sorry. Don't worry uh i uh i fucking i got lost in my misery for a second what were we talking about no you're talking about ending the podcast abruptly oh right i ended up so on the bright side that that happening prepared me for when it happened twice this week during annual pass the other podcast I record right now with Jack. Did you end that one as well? No, I'll tell you, when it happened, I recognized what was happening, so I just shut up and I just waited

and eventually he came back in and never fucking knew. I don't know what episode we just recorded, but there's probably six minutes of that podcast that I was just not in. And Jack has no idea. I love the idea of Jack finishing a four-minute spiel and then you're just like

uh-huh. Anyway. To be fair to you as well though, I feel like if that would have happened on annual pass, you wouldn't have reacted the way you did. It felt very much like you're paranoid is your response. You did not want to be fucked with. You thought it was a prank in some way. So you

responded to the assumption it was a prank. Oh, it definitely was. You'll hear when the episode when it comes out to listen to, you can tell. Especially after I had just had a whole conversation about how I'm getting paranoid that I'm late for a prank. I'm overdue for one. And then immediately you guys stopped talking.

Jeff is really paranoid, because I texted Jeff randomly the other day, because I was just curious. I just wanted to check in on Jeff. Why are you texting me, man? Don't text me. Nobody contact me. Nobody talk to me. What do you want me to do? You're fucking,

last week you're saying we don't text you enough. Now we're saying don't text you at all. No, I'm not saying you don't text me enough. I'm just saying you don't respond to me.

It's fine. I relinquish my complaint. I don't trust it. I can't trust any communication. Or Gavin, the only time Gavin texts me is to guilt me for the rain. And it's never my fault.

Look, you know the picture I posted last week of the weather? Mm-hmm. Yeah. It's identical now. Yeah. It's the exact same now. Anyway, Andrew. I don't remember what I was.

Oh, I texted you saying, hey, have you played Gems of War recently? And you said yeah. Yeah, why would you ask that? Why? Because I was thinking about my friend Jeff. I still don't trust that question. No, yeah, bullshit. I was thinking about my friend Jeff, and I thought, huh, I haven't talked to Jeff about Gems of War in a long time. You loved that game. You'd play

it all the time. You don't talk to me about Gems of War ever. Yeah, well, just, but it would come up in conversation. I'd ask you about it. Andrew. Just, like, but it would come up in conversation. I'd ask you about it. I just like between the show and the text conversation. I hadn't heard about it. Andrew Raymond Panton. Uh huh. You and I have so many things to talk about.

There are so many places we can connect or check in with each other on. Yeah. Not the least of which, by the way, is the entire NBA landscape right now. And everything that you and I are, are, are watching as fans and then dealing with, uh, Oh, is the entire NBA landscape right now. And everything that you and I are watching as fans and then dealing with, oh, that's another thing. Ask what happened in the last week.

I don't know. Maybe the entire goddamn Boston Celtics organization flipped upside down and the piece of shit, fucking Super 3, fucking asshole, no dignity, let's buy a team fucking championship god damn Brooklyn no heart

Nets won obviously and fucking oh and a gentleman sweep but Jason Tatum was amazing

and then the whole fucking team fell apart also that happened anyway I did I think that there's a million other reasons for you to contact me

than gyms of war and out of the blue so as soon as you text me out of the blue about gyms of war of all things i think what's the gyms of war bit this there was no bit it was it was in the heart of and we should probably address this too at some point it was during our bet between gavin and i and i was thinking about gavin and i playing games and then i thought about you and i was like well i wonder if jeff is still playing gyms of war so i just was curious.

There was nothing behind it. It was just a genuine question as a friend because there's the achievement named after you in that game. For a while, we'd get constant updates of like, I'm a quarter of the way there or whatever. I played for 20 hours and I gained 1% on it. So I was just curious. Would you be excited, Andrew,

to get that achievement before Jeff? Oh, I would love to, but there's no way. There's a zero percent chance that I feel like you're very sad that our bet ended that our halo bet I think we're both sad about it I'm pretty sad do you guys want to talk about that like who won the bet and all that stuff yeah we should go into that we should it had it developed into it went 12 rounds which is shocking I think in the last episode that aired, the time was like 4 minutes 20. I think I said that.

And someone asked me, do I think Gavin will beat it? And I was like, 90% chance, no way. And it went like five more days after that point. It went back and forth so many times. And I think since the last one we recorded, I said like a 3.44. And then because we were like just chipping away seconds. We like got to the point where if we clipped a corner or if we didn't take a turn like a Formula One driver,

we would reload. We were just shaving off seconds. So it was like going all the way down. I got to about 3.44. I think I beat your 3.45. And then out of complete nowhere, you got a 339. It was the best run I've ever had. You shaved five entire seconds off.

And at that point I was like, oh, I am screwed. It was a fantastic, it took less than an hour. It honestly felt like revenge for the bathtub text you sent me where you like did it in 40 minutes. It felt like retribution in that way.

I just had everything happen and line up for me perfectly. It's the best run I've ever had. Probably will be the best run I'll ever have on that level. And it only took like 65 minutes. It was ridiculous. It was insane. So I was like, I was really down.

I eventually managed to shave off four seconds off my last time. So I got to 340 on your 339. By the way, real quick, what's the world record? It's 335 on easy. So you guys are four and five seconds off of the world record doing it on legendary with some component of the skulls.

With the messy skulls save scumming speedrun, then yeah. Yeah, I mean, the skulls are part of the easy speedrun. It's just more of we're save scumming speed run then yeah yeah i mean the the skulls are part of the easy speed run it's just more of we're safe scumming it we're not it's like we're optimizing every point section by section it's not a fluid run the run is all about the start between the start and getting in the ghost it's how quickly you do that that's what determines the run is what i've seen and i feel like you were sort of falling towards the ghost around 30 seconds. And I actually was able, I spent an entire day doing this. I was just drilling the rooftop over and over again, blasting myself through that shitty hallway to get to the ghost.

And I managed to fly out of that hallway, and I was falling towards the ghost at 27 seconds. And I was like, oh, if this checkpoints, I I have this but what I didn't realize is that there's a load zone that I guess is within that time so all the enemies spawn in so I was there in my ghost driving it like 28 seconds and all of the enemies were in different places like there's a ghost that comes down and usually you know when you're hitting that a normal time the ghost just drives past you it then turns around and starts shooting you because it was so early he barely even come out he started

shooting me straight away it made every single part after that so much more difficult because everything was so early and shit was in different places i got hung up in the tunnels i think i ended up losing three or four seconds in places where I used to breeze through. And it was so freaking frustrating. I didn't want to bin the run. So I was just drilling. Every single checkpoint was difficult. Pissed me right off.

And when I got to the end and I was like, I don't even have enough. I don't have enough seconds left to even get ahead or even tie. It was a really huge downer. And I'm still upset about it. I really don't think I can beat that time, ever. I think you could, because you set up for a scenario in which you were faster. I don't think I could ever beat that time. I think the way this contest played out, or this bet, it's the only scenario I would win.

That 3.39 time is just extremely lucky. If we ran this back 10 times, started over, I think you would win most of them. I just got, I hit that one right time. You were bummed and you were asking me to pick other levels so we could basically do it again. Yeah. And I realized that it's so hard to cheat in other levels. Like that one

that's like an anomaly. You could just fly over most of the level and it's Halo 2 so there's all these stupid skulls. In other games it's not as easy. So I decided I don't want to do a different level i just want to i feel like even though i lost the bet you care much less about the bet you would care much more if i beat your time on outskirts even after the bet i feel like you would have to go back and be it again uh i don't think i would to be honest with you you. You would happily let me sit above you on the leaderboards for outskirts

after everything we went through? Yeah, because I won the bet. So it's like now this is just like, I'm acknowledging already. We didn't even know what the bet was for. Yeah, what did you win? Didn't we determine bragging rights? No, no, it was Gavin asked to chew a piece of gum

of my choice. It's like 10 chews or something. Sure, we'll get that out of the way. I'm still debating whether or not to bring lawyers into that, but I think I'll just go ahead and do it. But I honestly think if I like a month from now, it's like, by the way,

no better than your outskirts. I think you'd be livid. Do you want it? Do you want to know the proof of why I wouldn't care? I don't have any times in Garfield cart anymore. I've moved on. I feel the same way about this I won I accomplished what I wanted to I

acknowledge that I think you're better at me at that level I think this is the only scenario in which I win this bet I'm okay with you having the better time because I think you're better at that level than I am I think I would have put that to the test feel free go ahead it will take hours you spent 8.5

hours I think you said, to get a second below the time I have. That's a lot of grind. Over the weekend when I was talking to you guys, there was some discussion about continuing this with other levels. It sounds like that's no longer on the table. Gavin's just going to beat your time for fun.

I guess so. Is there no... Which I... By the way, Gavin, I think is the right move. I guess so. Is there no, which I, by the way, Gavin, I think is the right move. I think it's the right decision. And I think that you are right in every way.

I do think what might happen is Andrew might not be able to let you and us know that you were right. And so it might fester and eat away at him inside. No. In a way,

way, way worse way than anything else, which I think is just brilliant. And honestly, whether it's true or not doesn't really matter as long as you and I believe it's true, and I 100% believe it's true.

But I do feel like, I thought you guys were going to come up with a point scoring system, and you were going to try to do first to five or some shit, and you were going to do a whole bunch of stuff? I thought that's what we were doing. I didn't know that Gavin has decided he doesn't want to do that anymore. I mean, I do want to do like first of five or some shit and you were gonna do like a whole bunch i thought that's what we were doing i didn't know that gavin has decided he doesn't want to do that anymore i mean i i do want to do that i do what i just try to figure out where the value is what will annoy you

more well so the other the other levels are just normal levels you gotta be good at shooting and stuff the reason i love this level and the reason i kept doing it back in the day is that you don't have to even kill anything. That's true. What is so stupid in my mind is when we agreed initially, we both before said, OK, we're going to do Master Chief Collection has six Halo games. We'll do a level per game. If you win the game, you get a point. First, the four points wins was kind of the idea. I never considered Gavin to use the skull method on other levels.

When he texted me yesterday, I was like, man, it's hard to cheat on other levels. I was terrified because I was like, oh, fuck. I never even thought about that this could continue on in other ways. Halo 2 has definitely the goofiest skulls. It's going to be very difficult in other games. But I am going to find a way to create new techniques in other

games. I think outskirts will always be on my mind. We could even move ahead like once again talking about times you had you and i were gonna do a whole fucking hitman race so i took every time in hitman 2 and then you just never played hitman 2 it never happened well i i will say where where you're fucked here andrew i think you're a better gamer than gavin in most cases certainly with f without a doubt uh not that gavin is bad by the way we that's a joke but gavin's especially with halo but gavin knows halo better than he knows gavin that's you know yeah and he knows he knows the ins and outs and intricacies and foibles of that

system and that engine so fucking well that if there is a way to exploit it he will find it he will he is a genius at it to the point where after the bet was over i thought well since i've been streaming this every night and like people have been watching i feel like i should there should be like one more like closeout stream and since it was over gavin was just sharing with me stuff he's doing he came up with this way of reducing the time by hopping out of the ghost, throwing a grenade underneath it, and then propelling you to like a tunnel area. And it was genius. And it's something I would never consider. Yeah, I tested that out.

On my run, the checkpoint positioning is very important on that one. But on my run, I did figure out it would save me exactly one second doing that. Yeah, like it's absurd. Like I really, I genuinely think you're better at me at that level. It's just between the time restriction and the time I happen to hit. Like if you would have got 340, I don't know if I would ever get 339.

I would be very interested if you could even get 339 again. I was even contemplating trying to grenade myself up the final ramp, but you take so much damage before that. Should we do your cans? You want we do your cans you want to do the cans you guys want to talk over while i i crack can't this isn't hard you guys said you both were like yeah so what have you got in front of you you got two cans of drink yeah so i have

three cans one of them is opened uh because i almost puked while jeff was yelling earlier because i was laughing so hard and i needed something to drink to stop myself from doing so. Man, I did not want to laugh or did not want to yell. Now, hey. I didn't know you were going to get me going. I didn't try to, Jeff. I feel like you needed that. He was just working on his checklist. Yeah, I was just taking notes from the fucking...

I just fucking realized I had answers to those questions and they were frustrating answers. Well, I feel like it was very therapeutic, and we love you. So I'm going to crack a can. This is really easy, you guys both said. So the idea is to not burp and do two cans. You should do the two other cans, though, because I assume the open one has lost carbonation.

The other one has lost carbonation. I completely agree. I will do the last can last, or the open one last. That's what I meant to say. But no burping allowed. No burping allowed. Now, we talked about this before. Do I have like a 10 count once I'm done with the drinks? To what

extent? Because I'm going to burp eventually. When do I pass the I've made the challenge? We should get 30 seconds to tick by and then you can burp. Yeah, 30 seconds. How long did it take you guys to chug a can? I can't remember the last time I chugged a soda in a can. I feel like this could be different.

10 seconds, maybe. Okay. It doesn't take long. 10 seconds. Can you do that? Holy shit, it fucking fizzed and shot everywhere. Okay, here we go. All right.

I'm imagining this well. It sounds like he's drinking. Sounds like he's getting it down. Yeah. When do you think you'll get up? You think you'll do two? No, I don't think. oh when do you think you'll get you think you'll do two no i don't think well do you think you could do two you seem to think feel pretty confident you could handle two i think i could do two yeah i don't think i could do three i think based on

how much i hurt after i did it and how then i had like burping. I made a mistake. That was like one can. What was that noise? Oh, I almost vomited it all up. Oh my God. Laugh it. Oh, it's almost vomited it all up. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

It's like a T-Rex that just ate a goat. I fucked up so bad. Do not go with 7-Up. It's so carbonated. It's so bubbly. It's got bubbles on the can. That's the point. Oh my god.

I genuinely almost puked. That was one. That was one. That was a bad attempt. Did you make the 30 seconds? Oh no. I definitely burped and died and almost puked. Well, the 30 seconds was supposed to start after the second can.

Okay, so I got a second can. I can try the Pepsi. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's mixing and matching. Okay. Yeah, well, I had two Pepsis and it's 7-up because I thought it might get boring. Okay. I know the other day I said I'm never going to listen to this podcast again, but I

have to tune in to hear that noise. Oh! I want to listen to his raw audio right after we finish recording. I'm never going to listen to this podcast again, but I have to tune in to hear that noise. I want to listen to his raw audio right after we finish recording. I've never heard anything like that in my life. He's terrible at this. He sucks so much at this. I'm so mad at this! Oh!

Oh my god. I have to stop. Oh man. I may fucking vomit. Oh. I had soda all over my shirt. What is wrong with you? Why is it... Why is it bringing up liquid?

I think my body's trying to burp and the soda just keeps going down. Oh my god, he rejects the Pepsi. It doesn't matter. 7-Up wasn't a mistake. It's all bad for me. It all doesn't work. 7-Up wasn't a mistake. It's all bad for me. It all doesn't work. You turned such a big game.

I really thought it was going to be so easy. It was not. That was not good. I feel like I could genuinely go vomit right now. Well, considering you almost vomited at nothing earlier, it probably wasn't the first time to try this.

Oh, no. Oh, I got tears in my eyes. I definitely vomited a little bit. That was the first. I'm sorry to anyone that had to listen to that. How far into the can was the burp? You just couldn't stifle the burp? I was burping while chugging,

which probably caused the violent roar of the 7-Up. Why didn't you hold the burp down? I couldn't. It just came to the surface. I couldn't stop it. So I got... I don't... Okay, I'm ready to start the timer whenever you're ready.

Okay, I'm going to start the third one. Eric ready okay I'm gonna start the third one Eric get ready okay get the timer going ready okay here's round three is he really going for the other one he's probably drinking a flat soda that one's not gonna be bad well maybe we'll hear that roar again what

a little bit oh I can't do this. I tap. I tap. I think potentially we should try this again one day. Maybe this is what we'll do on our first in-person. Oh, that was...

Are we good? Did everyone happy? Yeah. That was no salad cream, buddy. Let me tell you. Okay. Thank you for listening to another episode of F*** Face. If you enjoyed whatever that was, please subscribe.

I can't laugh anymore. I'm just crying. I'm just pushing tears now. I've got nothing left to give. Please subscribe on whatever platform you use for podcasts. Leave a five-star review. We would appreciate that. Also, we have merch.

I don't know if you guys have seen. I think the waffle air freshener might be the worst rated product on the RT store. It is so strong. Yeah. It's so sickeningly sweet smelling. It's wonderful. It has two reviews, and they're both like, what is this? This is a mistake.

It has two reviews and they're both like, what is this? This is a mistake. So if you want to smell the worst air freshener of all time, please. It is available in the store. Thank you for listening. Oh.