Regulation Podcast - Life Changing Sandwiches // Jack Hammering [181]

Episode Date: November 22, 2023

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about Poymel secretions, the impending anal waxing, exploding head syndrome, making a sleep soundtrack, spinoff podcasts, Crazy Frog’s dick, Nick’s feet, life changing sandwiches, the guy in a puffy NFL jacket drenched in soda, Gavin’s belly button shot, dream laughter, shredded food, Big Bite, bacon butty, the regulation sandwich, the jack hammer, Andrew’s warehouse days, the party gurpler, living in cat breath, head measurements, and more.  Subscribe to the LetsPlay channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkxctb0jr8vwa4Do6c6su0Q. Sponsored by BetterHelp http://betterhelp.com/face, Katos Coffee http://katoskoffee.com Code FACE10, and Nuts.com http://Nuts.com/face. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I feel like Duck Duck Goose is a game that only gets funnier the older the players are. I want to see like 60 year olds playing Duck Duck Goose. Do you use Duck Duck Go? No. You just struck me as the only person in my life that will use DuckDuckGo. What is that? For when he's doing all of his QAnon-related searches? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's an independent browser that says that it... Are you tired of being tracked online? And it's like, I guess, yeah. We'll do it too, but we're going to pretend like we don't. You think I'm a private browser guy? Oh, no. It just seemed like a thing. Like the way that you use Discord in the browser is the way that I assumed you used DuckDuckGo.

I have a confession about the browser Discord. Oh my god, alright Jeff, this is 181. Go, go, go, go, go. Hello and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast. My name is Jeff Ramsey, with me as always, Gavin Free, Andrew Panton. This is episode 181 of season 2-2 i believe hell yeah we're back andrew what is your confession i uh well i've i've had a long-standing preference of the discord browser over the app and we've been doing let's play stuff or i've been sharing gameplay and i switched to the app for that and it crashes all the time. Every time

I try to share gameplay, it immediately crashes and I complain that this never happened on the browser and I didn't know my password, so I couldn't do it on the browser to prove my point, so I just suffered through. I finally figured out my password. You cannot share gameplay in that way on the browser.

It's literally impossible to do. So, the app is superior in that way on the browser. It's literally impossible to do. So the app is superior in that way. I have to take that loss. Wow. I was wrong. Well, it takes a big man to admit he's that wrong. It does. It takes a season two Andrew to admit that.

Season one Andrew wouldn't have admitted that. Would have quietly kept it under the rug. Hey, Gavin, real fast, I have a question for you. Okay. How do you spell poimal? P-O-I-M-A-L. E. No, I have a question for you. Okay. How do you spell poimel? P-O-I-M-A-L-E. No, I don't think so. P-O-Y-M-A-L-E.

I think it's... I spelled it P-O-I-M-E-L, but then I saw online a bunch of people spelling it differently, and my way doesn't look right. So I need to know a couple things. Wait, who are these other people spelling poimel? Just people that were commenting on the episode last week. What about this?

Poimel. Okay, P-O-Y-M-L. P-O-Y-M-L. That looks like a polyamorous app. Oh, ooh. Poimel, yeah. I like it. And then, Gavin, now there's six poimels on the back,

I believe you said. What do the poimels do? Do they pulsate at all, or do they secrete anything? Can they change the flavor of the secretions? I assume they would have a sheen, and they would often throb. And they throb.

Okay. Is there a scent or an odor or a secretion of any kind, or is it more just a throbbing shiny thing? I think it can secrete if the if if the conditions are right what are we conditions what are we talking about is this smut yes yeah i just needed to get some i just needed to get some answers from them so i to help inform uh a certain scene okay okay okay if conditions Okay. If conditions are right. Now I'm going to assume the secretion is pleasant for the Poimel or for the Poimel owner. And also for the,

for the people inducing the secretion. You would hope so. Would hope so. Okay, good, good. Yeah. You would,

would. Can you imagine if this was the first one you listened to? Was this something that I was here for last time? Yeah. Yeah. Really? I don't. Well, after I waxed, I was gone.

This was before. This was the episode previous. This is the episode that came out. The previous one we did, I waxed. What are you talking about? The one before the wax. This was the episode before that. Oh. Okay, I just, I forgot. We, Andrew, you and I said that we will not be participating in the smut.

And that is the reason why we don't remember this. Also, you and I said that we will not be participating in the smut. And that's the reason why we don't remember this. Also, you got hammered online for it, and I got away scot-free with it. So I will continue to do that. You can continue. Oh, I got hammered online for it? You got hammered online for no ending. And Eric was totally scot-free. He's right.

They only were mad at you. For leaving due to creative differences for yeah yeah for saying you won't do the smut i was i think the first person that said wouldn't do the smut and then you said i also won't do the smut and a guy online is like i can't believe andrew said that he won't do it it was great hey let me give you a speaking of the smut let me give you a quick little update uh on the smut and also on the anal waxing. We're having to pre-record a little bit because I'm going out of town

for a couple weeks. And so I don't think we're going to be able to cram the anal waxing in before my wedding and honeymoon. Oh, I knew this was going to happen.

No, no. Hang on. Now, I am in talks right now with someone who is a friend who's a friend of a friend of the show. So I think I can get them next week.

Hopefully I'm attempting to right now. I will say that I have contacted two other places and they were like, yeah, we do these calls and this kind of thing. I went, cool. So we're trying to film it, do this thing.

And they said, no, we don't do that. And I'm like, but what about, okay, but is there anything that we can? And they said,

no, we, no, we don't do that. i'm like but what about okay but is there anything that we can and they said no we no we don't do that and i just said well we're gonna we're gonna need to get the sign built that we can put our legs in yes correct that is key first that's key i'm totally but let me just give my availability i'm totally down to get my butthole waxed before the wedding it's just gonna have to be monday tuesday or wednesday do you want to be up there with an itchy crap there i mean if it's for content yeah it's i mean. Do you want to be up there with an itchy crafter? I mean, if it's for content, yeah. I mean, I want to do this because I think it's going to be really great for the show. I will say that if this affects the wedding at all, I think Emily will be mad at me in a way

that I will never be forgiven, and I'm really worried about that. I'll slap some lotion back there, and I'll be fine. I'm a professional. I can do this. But because of we're getting ready for that, we've been pre-recording a little bit and so we're going to record two episodes today. So I just want to give the audience fair warning. There won't be a resolution in this episode or the next one. Hopefully the next one. But I just didn't want to... I don't want to leave those hanging chads out there

without without giving some explanation as to why they're hanging also the smut but uh story is on the way i just had as a matter of fact i just had a really productive meeting with gavin about three minutes ago where i uh i answered a lot of questions that i had and so i'll get back on that but once again that won't appear in next episode either probably so so that one's hanging out there a little bit longer as well but that's the future that's the that's the nearest to to sort of distant future right now we're doing episode 181 where we're talking about other stuff like for instance uh i had an idea the other night i want to see what you guys think about it okay i'm excited you know how we were talking not too long ago, a few episodes ago,

about, Andrew, you have exploding sound syndrome or exploding brain syndrome or whatever. Yeah, whatever it's called. I got it wrong. Yeah, and then I have the whisper people thing. Yeah. And I was reading online, a lot of people,

I would say like maybe 10 or 15% of the people online that commented also share the whisper thing. And a little bit more have the exploding brain or exploding ear syndrome, or the fuck it was called. And most people are like, yeah, I don't know what they're talking about. I have no frame of reference for what that's like.

So what I was thinking is what if we made a track that people could listen to as they fall asleep, that simulates what you experience and what I experience. So it could just be really quiet for a while. And then you would hear like, bang! Which is, I assume, what you hear. Oh, no, no, no. No, it ramps.

So it starts kind of quiet and then it builds to the point where it is like a loud bomb going off. Can you do it with your mouth real fast? Yeah, it sort of starts like a... ... ... ... Sounds a little bit like that crazy frog.

I was the crazy frog. What do you guys think about that? Then we could do another. We could do a whisper track where it's just like us talking, like what I hear, and it's just like. That's just ASMR. It's just like, no, no, that's not ASMR, though. It's totally different.

Because ASMR is for people to pretend like they're not jacking off to it, but they really are. This is purely to go to sleep. So it'd be like, whisper, whisper, whisper, go to sleep. You really should be asleep. Don't listen to this. You need to be asleep right now. Hey, do you think you should go to sleep?

And then you guys all whisper too, and then we all do it together. And then people can listen to that when they go to sleep, and they can see if it enhances or ruins their sleep. And then we could throw a couple of bangs in every once in a while. And then create a product that we could give to the masses. This sounds awful.

This sounds absolutely terrible. Why would I? That's not the answer I was going for. Well, no, no. Just as a user is what I'm saying. I would love to make this, but as someone listening to it, that sounds dreadful.

You're having a nice comfy sleep and then people are screaming. Jeff, my exploding head syndrome is not a positive. I'm not psyched when it happens. But aren't you happy that it means you're falling asleep? No.

No, I'm not. I'd just rather not have it at all. I'd rather just be sleeping. I find it so comforting to recognize that I'm falling asleep. But there's no sleeping when this is happening. It completely disrupts you.

You have to get up for a while. Oh, you'd like to fully wake ups you. You have to get up for a while. Oh, you let fully wake up? Yeah, you have to fully... It's not like you just drift through this. It's your... Your sleep is fucked. So you're not one of those people that hears the comforting bang

and then just immediately drifts off? No, I don't have Emeril in my dreams comfortably cooking me shit as I drift off. Well, I agree with Gavin. I think it's a pleasant thing. And even if it weren't pleasant, I feel like it could be informative

to people who want to understand the experience. They may not want to do it every night, but they may want to put themselves in your ear shoes. And therefore, we provide them the opportunity. Should that be a spinoff podcast, Ear Shoes? And we just do it like experimental science?

Now, that's an interesting idea. Man, there have been a lot of ideas for spin-off podcasts lately andrew hit me with one the other day that i then tried to reinvent today because i forgot about it his reinvention was so funny too because it was essentially 90 the same idea with with twist, with a slight twist. The twist was just the kind of food. It's like if somebody tried to steal a script by just changing the words but having them mean the same. It was very funny, but very clearly accidental. Yeah, it was very Armageddon Deep Impact.

Yes. Can I say, just before we get too too far ahead i've never been more disgusted by nick and what he said oh i said i said the bang thing and i made a reference to the emerald nick well actually me about emerald legasi or whatever the fuck his name is he was putting our chat actually that's bam well he didn't add the actually but that's the tone of it. You don't need to correct over an emerald reference. It was it was fine. Hey, if we're if we're walking back parts of this conversation, Gavin brought up crazy frog.

Did you know that you can see crazy frogs dick? His. Did you know that? No. If he ties it to another frog, they make a baby. Yeah. I didn't know that this is, like, all the images that I'm looking up for Crazy Frog, his dick's just out.

Do you think Crazy Frog waxes, or is that just how he is? How is his dick always out? I don't, Gavin, I've never seen or noticed before all of these images, his dick is out. I don't understand. Is this like a Mandela thing where his dick was never out but now it's always been out look oh it's definitely out in that one it's out dude

wow what the fuck yeah I think Nick has a good point the videos were lower quality because they were on like that Nokia 2's so like yeah you can't see can I quickly ask Nick how he felt about the conversation at the beginning of the episode he wasn't in? Bless you.

Oh, terrible. I was putting it together to send to Kelly, who edits a lot of these. And I just sat there like, well, yeah, they are weird looking feet. And then I was like, why was I wearing sandals and then i remembered i'd ripped my heels open with the new shoes i'd bought so i was like i'll just get my feet a rest wasn't that a mistake interesting that was so white i just found the dick was crazy frog thanks man yeah but that's on the cover of ps2 game yeah do you think they took off the dick for 100%

I love that they had to have a meeting about that that there was a decision some artist had to take the dick out yeah that's crazy they airbrushed this dick that's awesome hey Nick I'm sorry about the foot chatter for the record I think it was probably the angle of the photo and that you And you don't have kangaroo feet.

You probably have dog feet. Yeah. Well, they were dog feet. Yeah, but somebody online said kangaroo. And I thought that actually fit better. I can't hop that high, though. We can apologize to you, Nick. And you can apologize to every other person in the park.

We can just do all a big apology. I'm sorry to all the children. We can knock it off. a big apology. I'm sorry to all the children. I realized that the real kicker was that Kelly was out for the video export, so I had to put together the video

and I was staring at my picture like, they just keep talking about it. They just keep going. I just had to keep dragging it on the timeline of the premiere project. Andrew, do you want to talk about your idea for a podcast or do you just want to do it someday? I think we should just do it some days. And I view it as not even a separate thing.

This is like a supplemental. A supplemental. Yeah, like a boring, but it's a self-indulgent supplemental. Can I just say for the record, because we're not going to talk about what the idea is, I am going to say it definitively has nothing to do with sandwiches. No. No, it does not. Not a sandwich podcast.

It's not. Although we had a great conversation today about sandwiches. We did. I had sandwiches on the brain lately, and I was actually thinking about pastrami. I was thinking about getting a pastrami sandwich today, and I ultimately didn't because I didn't want to drive to that side of town because it was raining. But I got to thinking, what is the biggest impression a sandwich has ever left on you, right? And because for me, pastrami, it kind of flipped my whole world around.

And it's not often that you pick up something like a sandwich and it changes your worldview, at least even for a little while. And so I was wondering, has there ever been a sandwich that has affected y'all in similar fashion? Or if so, what is like what's the sandwich that changed your life? Do you have an answer, Gavin? I feel like the biggest step up from normal sandwiches to a sandwich where I was like wow this is huge a huge improvement I would say it was a meatball sandwich really? was it like the first time you'd had one or you just had

a particularly good one? I think it was the first time I went to Subway I had a good experience at Subway fair enough and uh yeah and then it became a tradition of watching movies. I would just go to a Subway, get a footlong meatball,

stuff it in my coat, and then pull it out in the movies. Oh, you'd sneak the Subway sandwich into a movie theater? Yeah. A full footlong. Yeah, I had a big inside pocket that would perfectly fit a footlong can i tell you guys a story about a subway sandwich that i didn't i just subway sandwich shop that just popped into my head that i haven't thought about please when i was in high school you know i've talked a lot about how i would go to the mcdonald's

in the mall and make fun of people. There was also a Subway there. And so when we had a little bit more money, because Subway is a little bit more expensive, honestly, when we had the Subway money, we would sometimes go to Subway and get sandwiches there. And one night we were sitting in the Subway and a dude walked in in one of these, I'm going to send you a picture, I just call them puffy NFL jackets. Every kid in my high school everybody on earth had one of these jackets when i was in high school i had one too mine was the cowboys even though i

didn't like the cowboys but it just was like the jacket you had and so there was a dude who had one of those and he walked in and he was or he ordered a sandwich and he was waiting for a sandwich and then he leaned up against the wall but his jacket was so puffy that the back side of it he was leaning up right next to the soda machine and the back of his jacket or his elbow or something caught the like dr pepper and it was just going and it was pouring all down the back of his jacket but he was at like an angle so it wasn't like hitting his pants it was just hitting the ground and my friends and i saw it and we were started to laugh i started to laugh like uncontrollably and all i could do was point at him and i was trying to get

his attention to tell him to move and all we could do is point at him and the guy looked over his shoulder at us and saw us laughing and pointing at him and he just like got angry made an angry face and turned back away and he stayed there like he like screwed up and stayed there even longer and he was building up there was like a puddle forming around you don't hear it i don't know dude it wasn't super loud and we were laughing so fucking i was like wheezing and i you know you know because i couldn't fucking breathe and the guy and my friends next to me were fucking laughing and howling and shit too so even if it made a noise i don't think anybody on Earth could have heard it. And then eventually another like another customer walked over and like just like he was like he didn't want anything to do with anybody.

I thought he was being made fun of. So he like his like face towards the wall and somebody had to like pull on his arm and he turned around and they were like, you're spilling. And he looked and he was in like 48 gallons of soda. But I don't think I thought about that since I was 16 years old until this moment. It was like maybe 40 seconds long of just straight soda.

The jacket you sent has a hood on it. I thought you were going to say that it started filling his hood. And he just didn't notice. That'd be so fucking funny to have a hood full of soda. That'd be such a shock if he a hood his jacket was like 80 soda it was just he was just drenched and it was like splashing everywhere that was great oh that's so good do you think you

laughed more in the past than you do now i just feel like when I was a kid, there were things that were so funny I almost couldn't believe it. I was once messing around in IT class and my friend threw like a board, like an eraser at my face. It hit me in the mouth. And then I spent the rest of the lesson trying to throw stuff at him. And I took the roller ball. I took the ball out of my mouse. Showing my age there. And I threw it at him. And it got. It was like right as he was like standing up or something. And it got lodged in his belly button.

Like he lifted up. His shirt like lifted up just enough. And it went inside him. And he couldn't get it out for like two minutes. And I couldn't stand up. I was just crying, rolling all around. I was like trying to stand up and like falling into stuff. I was laughing so much.

You had like the Death Star kill shot. Like that's the one in a million, the one weak point that that guy had. And I just feel like, do you think that's ever happened to anyone else? No, I think that's the only time in human history. Ever happened. I think that that window closed and it can't ever happen again.

Oh my God, dude. That's fucking funny. I think that stuff was funnier, maybe, but more stuff is funny now, if that makes sense. Also, I mentioned about how when I was in high school, my favorite thing on earth to do was to go sit in that

McDonald's facing out towards the mall and make fun of people. And I saw somebody in a comment recently say, that's all Sloppy Joe's bingo is. It's just Jeff still being 16 years old and getting to look out a window and make fun of people. And I think to be completely and totally honest with you, I think I like to laugh more than anything else on earth. And since I figured that out at a young age, it's all I've cared about. And so I feel like I have made sure that I get to continue to laugh every day. And I built a like I have made sure that I get to continue to laugh every day. And I built a career around it just so that I can laugh. So I probably laugh more now.

Have you ever woken up from laughter? Like you were laughing in your dream and you woke up from the laughing? I don't think I have. It's the best. It happens to me pretty frequently. It's so good. I think my dreams aren't funny. Oh, that doesn't stop it. Why would they be? Your waking hours aren't particularly funny either. Your dreams sound like a nightmare, Gavin. You're just filling your stomach with fart air from what I understand is your sleep. So like, I don't, which is funny, but I'd probably not to experience. I have dreams where I wake up laughing.

And a lot of the times when I wake up and I think about what was funny in the dream, not nearly as funny as it was in the dream world in real life. But it is a great way to wake up laughing and a lot of the times when I wake up and I think about what was funny in the dream not nearly as funny as it was in the dream world in real life but it is a great way to wake up do you think you're just more affected by dreams because you you wake up from laughing from funny dreams but you also recently told us a story that you were

depressed because you woke up you had shame section right yes because you had you were telling unfunny jokes in your dreams and you woke up depressed because of it i think i think what that was was i was watching a lot of like different live streams of just like weird people i found on tiktok and a lot of there's a lot of trying to be funny in those environments that just are really cringe worthy so i think that's where the inception came from Maybe I'm more affected by my dreams than the average person. It's a really interesting question.

I don't even know how to measure that. I mean, you seem you seem to swing harder in both directions. So that's that's the only reason I ask. Yeah. But Gavin, you said a meatball sub, Andrew or anyone. Brisket going to Texas and experiencing brisket. Brisket is just not a thing that I had like readily available as a sandwich type meat or as a? Brisket. Going to Texas and experiencing brisket. Brisket is just not a thing that I had readily available as a sandwich

type meat or as a meat in general. Until recently, brisket was like a huge realization of like, holy shit, I'm really, I'm missing out when it comes to these sandwiches. Outside of that, I'm pretty boring. How about you guys, Nick and Eric?

Aunt Nellie's number eight deli club sub. Aunt Nellie's is a sandwich shop in El Cajon near where Mega64 Studio used to be. And it is a place that had almost no parking. And it was a headache to get to. And the sandwich was so fucking good. It was, ah man, it is just like nothing but good memories about eating that specific sandwich parking across the street at another business and getting yelled

at by a guy he was like you walk out with your sandwich and he's like hey don't ever park here again next time it's toe time and then me and my friend dominic laughing at him while we eat our sandwiches and drive away. And it was great. Really recommend Aunt Nellie's in El Cajon, the deli club sub. It's turkey, ham, roast beef, and Swiss. Can I say something potentially controversial?

Yeah, of course. I don't like shredded food. Yeah, that's fine. You have a terrible palate. It's to be expected. I assume you're referring to shredded lettuce? Yeah. I don't really like grated cheese or shredded lettuce. I feel like it's really annoying.

Is there a shredded food that you do like? Like shredded chicken, maybe? You gotta like shredded chicken. Is there any other than just chicken there? What does that mean? It's just different, yeah. I mean, how are you you gonna have a full chicken enchilada they just wrap a tortilla around a drumstick you gotta shred it hmm

you know what you might be right do you ever enjoy chicken sandwich Gavin yeah well when you eat a chicken sandwich do you think well is this any better than roast chicken like what are you saying well it's usually just cut up chicken do you like you like? Well, it's just cut up chicken Do you like you like tuna fish? That's true. What do you like about the shredded lettuce?

What is it specifically? It's annoying and it falls out everywhere it is There's so many points of failure to that sandwich. I would just I would rather have that than big pieces of lettuce Really? What's wrong with just a nice slab of lettuce? There's nothing wrong with it, but if you're asking me my preference, it would be shredded lettuce. Agreed. I will say the slab of lettuce can be a little overwhelming.

You could get a large chunk of lettuce. The bite ratio can be off of the slab. I just prefer, and I think when it gets tossed in the oil and vinegar for a sandwich like that, for the Aunt Nellie's Deli Club sub, delicious. Oh, it's too

wet oh that i forgot you have like a thing i forgot go to jersey mike's unless i ate the sandwich sort of six seconds after it was handed to me that thing was just that's a wet sandwich i forgot we i think we had a conversation that was similar the other day where you asked me what my favorite christmas song was and I said, wonderful Christmas time. And you said, oh, are you only saying that because I hate it? And I didn't know

that you hated it. So sometimes, you know, my things don't revolve around what you like or don't. That's fine. Something to keep in mind. I'm just chiming in.

Mm-hmm. Hey, Nick, what are you doing? What do you mean? What is that? What the fuck happened? Nick just posted what looks like a sub that has chicken nuggets and French fries and Thousand Island dressing and mayonnaise on it. I feel like this is the place that sent me down the path that led to what is the creature that is the sauce monkey from Face Jam.

The creature? Yeah. There's a place off 24th street it doesn't exist anymore for some reason uh it's called it was called big bite but they had this thing's called fat sandwiches p-h-a-t and they had all these different ingredients this one in particular is chicken tenders it's got some ham there's uh uh there's also mozzarella sticks fries things like that there are a lot of subs like those, but they had one that was like a cheeseburger.

So it was like two burgers side by side like that. It had the ham, it had the chicken tenders, it had the mozzarella sticks. It had onion rings and it had French fries and then like a bunch of sauces on top of it. And if you ate like, I think if you ate four of them in like an hour or something, you could make your own and name it.

And that was always the goal and they and i feel like eating that changed my life and probably put me on a pathway to heart disease but it was delicious and i remember it fondly so is that picture your origin story i think so that was my vat of acid. Look at these other fucking... Somebody put waffle fries. This is also from... It looks like... This isn't...

Is this fucking real? What the fuck? It was. The time has passed. It's just a sandwich with waffle fries, it looks like, in between the bread. It looks like maybe there's some poutine or something in there, too. Oh, maybe. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

They put ranch on a lot of this stuff, too. It's like their gimmick was you have to make a sandwich in the dark, and you just don't know, and then you walk out, and you just eat what you have. And the light in the fridge also doesn't work. Yeah. It really is like, hey, are you 19? Do you want to just put something that you would eat outside of a sandwich bread inside of some sandwich bread and then we sell it to you? And that's Nick's origin story.

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Nick, that's a scary fucking sandwich. And I got to agree, it does look like it was assembled in the dark. Almost it's like a top chef challenge where everybody has to blindfold themselves and they have 45 seconds in a pantry in a fridge to put a sandwich together yeah it's like they open the blind box and it's hoagies and waffle fries is the only thing you have oh man uh gracie said it looks like a heart attack on bread and i think that's probably the most accurate description uh i was i ask because well, like I said, I was thinking about the pastrami in general and how much it affected my life. But so I was doing a little bit of sandwich research today and I was trying to figure out what country eats the most sandwiches. And I was unable to determine.

Google failed me. But I did learn, Gavin, that your country, the UK, is in a bit of a sandwich renaissance right now. And sandwiches are kind of taking over the country. It's like an $8 billion a year industry or something. And like the breakfast is dominated by breakfast sandwiches now. And then lunch sandwiches have been a long established thing. And now I guess it's creeping into dinner is what I read. Dinner sandwiches. Wow.

Yeah. I mean, breakfast Sammy's like a nice bacon buddy or a, you know, some sort of BAP. That's, that's a killer way to start a morning bacon buddy or a, you know, some sort of bap. That's a killer way to start a morning. I looked at

best sandwiches in the world by country and the best sandwich in England was listed as a bacon baddie and I was going to ask you what that is. Bacon butty? Butty. Bacon butty. Yeah. Sorry. Bacon baddie.

But it's B-U-T-T-y right yeah what does that mean uh it was like that gavin has been lying this entire time about being from overseas and you just caught him i just caught him in the lie yeah he just was not ready for that question at all he's not researched this part of his lie it was weird because he like laughed at you for asking the question and then you couldn't answer it it's a bacon sandwich but that's it's a bit with a variety of ingredients in it. I mean, a bacon butty could be a sandwich. It could be a sexual position.

There's no telling. It could be anything. Yeah, it's not just like he said, what soup? He said, what is French onion soup? And you're like, oh, soup? Soup? just like he said what soup he said what is French onion soup and you're like oh soup I think typically the but he could just be you know any sort of brekkie sandwich and a bap is usually a bun and brekkie is

short for breakfast that's it yeah and batty is usually your ass batty is an ass but buddy is a sandwich yeah that could be real confusing, depending on your dialogue. Well, Bacon Batty would be... That'd be someone else.

Okay, well, that brings me to my next question. Should we invent an official face sandwich? Yes! How have we not? Nick is on board. Yeah, how have we not? Like, maybe we each get to control one ingredient. I really don't like these games when Gavin's involved.

Well, I mean, I think we would all say we don't like these games when you're involved, but I'm willing to play it with you What? Are you kidding? We have verbs about how you handle food challenges The pulp was a masterpiece

And the salad cream was a verb Yeah, that is But that was Gavin's fault, the salad cream What do you mean? What are you talking about? Salad cream would have never been in the equation if it weren't for you. I'm never bringing salad cream. I salad creamed it.

So because I introduced you to the thing you half-assed. No, I think the problem was I, what, battyed it? Is that the word? I full-assed it. I put too many things in. I was overly ambitious with my salad. That was the criticism. I had every ingredient in it.

I don't think you could call that a half-assed. Nick says he has to rein me in. Oh, we have to rein me in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So are we all inputting one ingredient, or are we all inputting one ingredient or are we all presenting a sandwich

and one of them wins the crown as the face sandwich? I think we should build it together. Like we each get to, like I would like, for instance, I have a strong opinion. I have a very strong opinion about the bread. Okay. I think it should be on an onion roll.

I don't think I've had an onion roll. I think those are the best. You roll I don't think I've had an onion roll I think those are the best you know what I'm talking about Nick like that kind of sandwich bread yeah yeah yeah is that onion on there yeah it's like

it's like crunchy but juicy little bits of cooked onion that are in the roll it's like fried a little yeah they're real good so I would be like that would be my contribution a cooked onion that are in the roll. Okay. It's like fried a little or something. Oh, that looks good. Yeah, they're real good. And then like, and then I, so I would be like, that'd be my contribution. I wouldn't even try to cram pastrami in it.

I just like, I feel very strongly about, about the house that a sandwich lives in. And I think that that is the ultimate house for a sandwich. And then I would be like, okay, and now Andrew, I pass it on to you. What would you add to that? Hmm. I'm going to throw some mozzarella on that sandwich. Okay. Okay. Like melty mozzarella?

I'm assuming, yeah, yeah. I assume we're gonna toast it. Yeah, I think so. That would be the goal, yeah. I'm gonna put some mozzarella with the intent of toasting later. Mmm. Mmm. Gavin, or actually, Andrew, you pick who it goes to next. Let Eric. Eric throws something on the sandwich.

Shredded lettuce. That sounds like a good sandwich. Eric, please pass it to your next person. Why don't we go ahead and go to... Let's go to Nick. All right. I feel like we need an oven-roasted ham on there. Ooh, okay.

Okay, oven-roasted ham. Yeah, and then I'm going to pass to Gavin. What about a bit of pesto? Oh! Pesto. I like that, Gavin. Okay. I had a turkey sandwich today with pesto, so I'm all for that.

Good pick. Yeah, that sounds good. Good pick, Gavin. I apologize. Oh, wow. I thought that was a real dud. I thought nothing happened after I said that. No, I like pesto. I got to say, that sounds good. Good pick, Gavin. I apologize. Oh, wow. I thought that was a real dud. I thought nothing happened after I said that. No, I like pesto.

I gotta say, I would never... Pesto's one of those things that I don't ever think to eat, so I would never think of it as an ingredient. Yeah. But I'm willing to get to know it. Yeah. So we have here an onion, like an onion roll, right? Then we have mozzarella, shredded lettuce,

oven-roasted... What was it? Black forest ham? Is that what you said, or did I invent that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, oven-roasted black forest ham? Is that what you said or did I invent that? Yeah, oven roasted black forest ham and then for our sauce, we have pesto, fresh pesto. And that's Gracie's input.

Oh, and then Gracie, you add the final component. Oh, I'm going to add a tomato. Hell yeah! Oh my God. Oh, I didn't know it needed it until you said that. Oh, shit, dude.

Winning cherry on top. That was. That was a brilliant addition, Gracie. So now we've added, I guess, fresh sliced tomato to it. And this is. Am I allowed to take something off the sandwich? What? What?

When I get the sandwich, can I remove an item from the sandwich can i can i remove an item from the sandwich if i want to remove an item no especially not my idea can i take something off and she just said no well here's the deal as it's composed with the six ingredients we just assembled, we have created what I will assume we will call the regulation sandwich. So to eat the regulation sandwich, you would have I don't assume it's going to be lightly toasted, too, because we inferred that it's going to have to be those ingredients on that sandwich. No more, no less lightly toasted. If you want to take tomatoes off of that sandwich, Andrew, which is what I'm assuming you're getting at. Oh, yeah. You can do that, but that becomes

an unregulated sandwich at that point. Oh. Just depends if you want to eat something that's unregulated. Oh, man. First of all, this is giving me a lot of trauma about the regulation bagel. The only thing worse than having your own

sandwich, or like, that's the greatest, that's the peak you'll ever have in life is having your own sandwich but losing it is such a it's a real collapse it's a real difficult thing to swallow it's a real regulation sandwich it is yeah I guess I'll just learn to like

tomato I guess I typically prefer my tomato in a liquefied form what if you liquefy it first well I can't I can't just turn it to ketchup prefer my tomato in a liquefied form. What if you liquefy it first? No, I can't just turn it to ketchup. I'll be honest with you, Andrew. I'm not a big fan of pesto, but I'm willing to. I'm going to learn. So maybe you and I can both stretch a little

bit. We'll meet in the middle. We'll meet in the middle. We'll both conquer some culinary fears and we'll get there. What if we all meet up and we go to Jeff's house and we'll all make this sandwich in the dark. And see whose looks best.

Oh, I feel like pesto in the dark is dangerous. Pesto in the dark is a real slippery slope. Oh, man. I'm all for it. I also highly encourage regulation listeners and comment leavers to make their own version, make their own identical version, make it exactly as described. You don't want it to be unregulated.

You want a regulation sandwich. And then become comment leavers by sending us pictures so we can see what your sandwich looks like. And then let us know how you like it. Maybe we can pick at some point the best picture of the regulation sandwich. I love that. I love that idea. I think picking the best photo of it is really interesting

because I think there's a lot of creative people who listen to the show who will send professional-grade photographs of a sandwich that we just made up for an episode. Yeah, and I think the actual photography of the sandwich should be judged for points too. It's not just about how the sandwich looks. It's like the whole composition. I want to see

the composition. I want to see a setting. I want to see shadows. I want to see light. I'm with you 100%. You want the sandwich photo to tell a story, right? A flavor story. Here's what I'll say about it too. The best one we get, we'll have to talk to Tony and them about this,

but I say we go ahead and print it and put it on a shirt and then we give them a free copy of that shirt and then we sell regulation sandwich t-shirts with the best fucking sandwich of all time on it as designed by our audience. You want us to wear a picture of a sandwich that someone else made? Yeah. I love it.

Yeah, I do. Just like I have a shirt that says pastrami, pastrami, pastrami for a different restaurant. Like, why wouldn't you? We wear t-shirts of things that we're fans of, and I'm fans of sandwiches. Love it. I love a good sandwich. Yeah. Can I ask you guys something?

Yeah, please do. I'd like to hear a story about you guys rented a fucking jackhammer and you dug a hole in Joe's backyard. What happened? What went on with that? You guys got dirt. Beanhole dirt. Well, there'll be a video for it.

Oh, there's a video? Yeah, we filmed. Hell yeah. How did it go? We didn't need a jackhammer yeah we didn't need it but it was worth it it was so much fun worth it or anything but it was we definitely didn't need it um we should not be allowed to rent it no one should be allowed to rent this kind of stuff uh when i was with gavin it back, I think we left the rental place and he just

went, this shouldn't people, I shouldn't be allowed to have any of this. Yeah, I mean it was next to a giant stump grinder. Like why do they let people just have these things? Crazy. The amount of inadvertent triggerings of the jackhammer was

unbelievable. Just try to reposition it or lift it up and it'd be like. of inadvertent triggerings of the jackhammer was unbelievable. Yeah. Try to reposition it or lift it up and it'd be like If that thing shot bullets, half my neighborhood would have been dead. Every time you touched it, it went off. Oh my god. Did you guys encounter any rocks like you did on the first

beanhole dig and it wasn't useful or what was that like? We broke some rocks apart mostly it was jeff getting it caught in a stump and then us having to try to pull it out of a stump for a really long time man if you put the wrong bit on a on a jackhammer and you go straight into a tree like into a root or the dirt it can be very hard to get it out of that dirt it can really wedge itself in there there was like maybe uh i don't know five or six minutes there where eric and i were a little nervous well there was one point where

jeff had just started using it and he was getting used to it and then he got the confidence just to look into the camera and smile while he was using it but didn't realize that it just was getting driven straight down it just kept going and by the time he stopped posing it was like an entire foot in the ground it was just there was we did we got two different bits for this thing one was for breaking rock and the other one was for like cutting through clay and mud neither were needed for what we were doing it was so soft but but we got to use the jackhammer and that was a lot of fun and also uh it's so exhausting to use a jackhammer my favorite part too is that uh jeff was so keen to get it going that he attempted to attach the

little spade attachment to the underside of the cart that it arrived on instead of the actual instead of the actual chat camera i was just excited so it was so fucking heavy to get in and out of my 2008 monday accent like it all these, it's just day labor dudes renting stuff, and then me in my little beep beep hello, like my little, little car, and it's like this,

I don't belong here, man. It's crazy. Eric said when he went to rent it, the guy was like, man, you are lucky. This is the last jackhammer we have to rent in town, which got us thinking,

somewhere in Austin, which is the city under more fucking construction than anywhere else, which got us thinking somewhere in Austin, which is the city under more, more fucking construction than anywhere else on earth right now, somewhere in Austin, there's a crew standing around waiting because they couldn't, because there was one less jackhammer in the city and real construction work isn't happening because of this. It's a thing where you have to like,

when you're renting this from a place you go like, I don't know. I go into a mode of like yeah man do this all the time yeah hell yeah oh brother hell yeah that kind of thing oh you got the you got the jack x 37 nice nice i was looking at that like oh yeah you know how this part works and this thing and i went oh absolutely he's like oh yeah you've done this before and then took it and then there's the fruits of our labor, a jackhammer stuck in a stump. This is Jeff digging it out of the ground with the shovel.

As long as we don't show that to the rental guy, I think it's not free. Andrew was so fucking stupid and unnecessary. It weighed as much as Eric's car. It's so fucking stupid and unnecessary it weighed as much as eric's car oh my god so fucking heavy it was so was it the type of thing that like you hurt from the next day like you woke up and you felt sore i felt it in i felt it in like my upper back and kind of like my obliques okay because you're trying to like hang on and you don't realize how much like you're activating when you do it.

And it's different from like, you know, lifting weights or running or anything. It's just your body's getting thrown around by something that is meant to be. I lied to the guy when I went and picked it up. He's like, what are you using this for? And I'm like, I don't know. My boss told me today we're uh

getting through some uh dry clay and we're getting through about uh a three and a half inch slab and he's like oh man heavy stuff and i'm like yeah but that's why we got this right he's like i hear that and i'm so and then we got when we returned it together eric just went into a mode where he just kept saying phrases, but he was just like, it was like, ah, yeah. Cut through butter,

man. Easiest pie. You know, just like, yeah, you know it, man. Yeah.

Hear that? I mean, Nick knows all of them. It's the same. Yeah. Yeah. You just gotta, you know, you, if you say enough stuff and you just talk in like a big circle, it's like you've done the job and now everyone buys that you belong there.

It's all. Yeah. Nick is right. It's always working for the weekend. But then you start getting in a circle and you start going like, yeah, wake up every day, punch that time clock, you know? And they go, yeah, absolutely. And you're like, I'm just saying shit. start going like yeah wake up every day punch that time clock you know and they go yeah absolutely it's like you've memorized a little like book of drivel that you can just

that just allows you to communicate with any type of person that's what it was to work in a warehouse is just talking like that all the time mm-hmm Fuck this is the language. Yeah, it is a form of pleasantry absolutely totally absolutely Yeah, I can imagine you Andrew saying all those phrases as the guy was working on your foot That's that's actually more that's more realistically accurate than you realize from my warehouse days.

I worked in a warehouse. Rubbing your foot? Yeah, I worked in a warehouse for a while and I fucked my ankle up shockingly, really bad for months because it's such a physically demanding

job. It was never healing properly so i just i kept it kept getting worse and one of the people that worked there in sales was a retired hockey player and i it was so bad one day he's like i got have you wrapped it at all and i was like i have no idea how to do that i don't know what that is so before like they opened He wrapped my ankle for me Like I took my shoe off and put it on Put my leg, my foot on his leg And he wrapped my ankle So that happened You're joking

How old was this guy? Probably like mid-fifties Mid to late fifties Did he have an orgasm while he was wrapping your foot? I don't know You think that happened later that night? I have no idea That's not for me to judge. That's his business. It's been there But you do there's an absolute cadence to like the way you talk with people and it's it's the language It's a little so what kind of stuff for you Sam while you were getting wrapped

Um, I don't remember what I was there's not a lot of I was talking about slab work. I can say that much that tickles. Why are you using your mouth? This is weird. Yeah, I think it was more just internal embarrassment that this guy was working

on my foot. I understand you taking your pants off makes you more comfortable, but it's making me very uncomfortable. Is that kind of stuff. No, no. Was it weird when he wouldn't break eye contact? Like he should be looking at your ankle. No, I think he was more upset that I wouldn't break eye contact. I think it's weird for him.

Was it? I just kept staring. Now, were you were you weirded out when he started to smell your foot? I just kept staring. Now, were you weirded out when he started to smell your foot? No, I requested that because I thought maybe he could tell if there was an infection or something. He seemed to know a lot about feet. Did he draw a face on it to give you a different eyeline? He gave me...

He confirmed that I have regulation toes. Spoken like a guy who's done that before by the way what aren't you the weird feet guy or something oh what was that again I don't know I don't remember but anyway yeah

no that happened the joys of working in a warehouse hey on Monday we did a live stream where we Anyway, yeah, that happened. Oh, man. The joys of working in a warehouse. Hey, on Monday, we did a live stream where we... Gavin came and sat in on the break show, which was really wonderful to have you, by the way. I saw that. I had so much fucking fun hanging out with you on the break show, Gav. I really like doing it.

I would love for you to do it more. I really would. Anytime you want to. Anyway, so you and Emily filled the dirt into the pins after Tony took it home and baked it in his oven to get rid of impurities and moisture. And then we also had the launch for the sale of the nacho helmet, right? The face nacho helmet, which is a very baseball centric thing. When you go to baseball games, you get a nacho helmet and then it has nachos or ice cream in it.

And that's what you eat out of. It's like a games, you get a nacho helmet and then it has nachos or ice cream in it and that's what you eat out of. It's like a little souvenir you get. And we discovered, and you might find this interesting, Andrew, we discovered that the nacho helmet holds exactly a six-pack of Diet Coke. Or in this case, Coke Zero. I saw that. It made me wonder how many sodas a helmet that would fit my head could fill. That's interesting. That's, I hadn that's i hadn't i hadn't could

a gerbler because i have the soda helmet it's great doesn't fit my head as expected um so i was curious maybe like a full gerb i think i could get easily like it is is it too tight or is it literally just won't go over the skull uh it goes over the skull and then it just doesn't fully. It doesn't fully. It's sort of like, you know, when I wore the the the balaclava. Mm hmm. Sort of like that. We'd had the tuft at the top.

It's the same type of problem. Well, it got me thinking maybe we're marketing this thing incorrectly. What what we had there and what what I've realized is what if we rebrand this as the party Gerpler and you fill a six pack of beer or soda and then you take it to a party and give everybody a straw and everybody just drinks out of the party. The way when I was watching you guys do it, it looked like a shoeie, but that you'd wear on your head. Yeah, like a head. Like a head shoeie. Yeah. Without issues. Very full circle exactly like that anyway so i just i think that we're selling this thing incorrectly i think we

should be marketing instead of as a natural helmet. We should be we should be marketing it as a party Gerbler so that you can drink a six pack of soda or beer with your friends. That's my suggestion. It's a fun thing to chug out of for sure. Yeah. And you can chug from any direction, by the way. I did.

I proved it on the live stream. You can do from the bill. You can do from the back or either side. Oh, that's good. I mean, I think really you need to think of it as it's whatever you want it to be it's just helmet shaped i'm sure you can build sand castles out of that helmet do you have any headwear that fits you no absolutely not i wish i did it all it sounded like we're gonna get a beanie But then it went the wrong way What about one of those

Well yeah Gavin have you seen the new picture of the beanie The one that was posted Yeah That wasn't even on the podcast The whole in it and it thing though It was a lot of last episode Did we explain where it came from

I don't know I thought we did, but you're making me feel like we didn't. Yeah, this would be the part where you explain it. Jesus Christ! What is going on? Are you okay? Are the cats breathing directly in your mouth? What's happening?

I can't remember. You're like... You're teeing yourself up, and then just like... No, I wasn't te. You're like... You're teeing yourself up and then just like... No, I wasn't teeing me up. I was just teeing up the group. Yeah, I'm gonna open my window. Yeah, open your window, please.

I live in cat breath. What the fuck? That'd be a great name for a book about Gavin's life. Goddamn. Living in cat breath do you guys do you guys remember when joaquin phoenix went through that this is me phase where yes he was like out of intentionally like yes playing this aloof character who was out of touch and he went on the shows and things yeah he went on the david letterman show and it was a fucking train wreck and he wouldn't answer the questions and he was just being like incredibly difficult and at the end David Letterman

made the funniest fucking joke in the world he said well I'm sorry you couldn't be here tonight that's how I feel about Gavin in this episode I'm sorry you couldn't be here to enjoy this with us because we were having a lot of fun today oh I'm also having fun okay yeah I'd say the difference between Gavin and Joaquin Phoenix is what Gavin

is doing is enjoyable. No, for sure. I'm actively enjoying it. I'm more worried about his enjoyment. Yeah. Yeah, maybe it's the damage of the tree hitting you

and the head. Maybe it's starting to appear. Maybe, have we... It was just like a 10-year delay. Yeah, like a concussion maybe. Some impact. Do you film anything

particularly dangerous in slow-mo guys recently? Did you take a, like, a bowling ball to the back or anything? You shot a cannon? You fired a cannon? We shot a bowling ball at a skull. Was it your skull? No.

Was it your skull? Fake one. I don't think it was mine. Based on what happened to the fake one, I would definitely have noticed. what happened to the fake one I would definitely have noticed all I know is that it wasn't based on my nose because I'm assuming it shattered I like the idea of just getting a cast

of your head and the bowling ball just explodes on your nose it just bounces off the nose oh my god you know like in a movie when like they cut the bullet with like a katana or whatever and it separates? That's what the bowling ball would do. It would just like slice around the nose. I want to

make you a hat that fits. I would love for you to make me a hat that fits. Can you measure your head size? I did. I did. Oh, what was the size? It's 26 inches inches the circumference all right let me measure my head i need to figure out how big that is compared to my 26 i think the average is like 24 average head oh yeah you're like eight and a quarter that's a big ass head that's huge like lids i don't think lids carries that dude they don't eight and a quarter

I think my head is smaller measuring around my headphones your thoughts must be so much bigger yeah but they're unfortunately they're not heavy as we established recently there's some white I'm done

we gotta wrap this one up Gavin's infecting Andrew. I'm done. We got to wrap this one up. Gavin's infecting Andrew. Yeah, I'm breaking down. Hey, well, on the bright side, I didn't intend to do it necessarily, but we invented a regulation sandwich today that I'm pretty excited to try and maybe have a piece of blindfolded

supplemental content to come out of it as well. Blindfolded? You don't want to just do it in the dark? Well, yeah. I guess we could do it in... It's the same. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if we do it blindfolded or if it's in the dark.

If we do it blindfolded, we can film it at a normal hour, like two in the afternoon while we're all at work. That's true. Do it at night. You guys all got to come over midnight or something. Yeah. It's ridiculous. I just thought it'd be fun to use thermal cameras and stuff

to see what everyone's doing. All right. Well, that does sound pretty fun. Yeah. I just thought it'd be fun to use like thermal cameras and stuff to see what everyone's doing. All right. Well, that does sound pretty fun. That, yeah. You've persuaded me. Do you have thermal cameras? Yeah.

Okay. Well, then we got it. We'll do that then. That sounds great. Will the sandwich show up? I guess if we toast it, but that's at the end. I don't know.

Much to think about. Yeah. We'll be able to see it after it's toasted. That's a great point. And all the cold ingredients will be really dark looking. I like, you know, in Predator, when he covers himself in mud so that the Predator can't see him through the heat vision. Doing the same with the sandwich, but with the spread.

What was the spread on it again? Pesto. Pesto. Pesto. Yeah, just coating it in pesto so you can't see it on the heat vision pesto would be great to smear on yourself because it also provide a natural camo yeah it's sort of a green it's sort of mossy yeah that'd work can we paint one of us with pesto like that dude in the hunger games yeah why don't why don't we do a quick round of not it

to see who's doing it. Not it. Not it. Nick. Get real. Nick. His name was Peta. Peta.

Peta. Peta. Peta. Pesta. Pesto. Pesta. It's the dude from, is that the dude from Five Nights at Freddy's?

Yeah. Yeah. That's what I thought. Well, should we, should we end this so that Gavin can go stand outside for a few minutes? Yeah. Yeah. That's what I thought. Well, should we end this so that Gavin can go stand outside for a few minutes? Yeah. That's a good idea.

Was I that bad? No, you're great. No, you're great. You're wonderful. Don't listen. Don't listen to him. But seriously, in between recordings

when we all get up to get a drink or whatever, maybe go stand outside for a few minutes. Okay. Get some fresh air. We're going to... I have an update on your email

that you wrote me, Jeff, for the chair thing. That'll be next episode. Oh, yeah. Get excited about that. Okay. Get some fresh air. We're going to, I have an update on your email that you wrote me Jeff for the chair thing. That'll be next episode. Get excited about that. Okay.

Oh, well, I'm very excited now. Let's end this so we can get to that. Thank you for listening to another episode of the

face podcast. This has been episode 181 or if you read that backwards, 181, please give us a like or a review or

a star, mail us a star, give us one online or a review or a star. Mail us a star. Give us one online. Buy a star in the sky and then dedicate it to us. Whatever you can do. We just like stars, and we'll see you next time. Hey, guys. Major League Fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face. Andrew's new studio. What are pubic glasses? Is the hot dog run genius or laziness? Butthole morning, beard afternoon. What is your entrance music? And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face.