Regulation Podcast - Off Guard Best Man // Being Decided Via Ladder [150]

Episode Date: April 19, 2023

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about light pleasantries, same voices, mall drama, Geoff's punk zine, Facebook messenger decade, Lego social media, a crazy sports weekend, Wrestlemania blown quad, movie insights, Chasing Amy trading cards, Thank Me Later redux, Andrew's weird ice pack, pickled onion, cook book, photography, and upcoming drafts. Come to RTX July 7-9 to experience the F**kface Museum FIRST HAND! www.RTXAustin.com Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to [e-mail] Sponsored by Better Help http://betterhelp.com/face and Shady Rays http://shadyrays.com and use code FACE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a Rooster Teeth production. is in it. I don't remember. I haven't played it in a very long time, but I wonder if they approached that. I don't think that was a major sequence, really. I couldn't remember where it was in the movie, but I agree. It probably wasn't. It'd be great if it was. Yeah, it would be really cool to... You know what would be fun is we could try to...

We could get the game and try to recreate the moment, or maybe if there's no multiplayer, we could do it like in GTA. Yeah, or like Call of Duty in a Warzone. Yeah, Call of Duty in a Warzone would be great. It would be way easier. Although I guess it would be more fun to do it in real life. That was short.

Ah, that throws me. When you guys show up for pleasantries late, it throws me off how quickly Gavin gets here. Yeah, I'm sorry. It doesn't feel like we even had pleasantries at all. I can't believe it. Like 2.59, Jeff was barely in. He was barely in. I mean, we all kind of, they were at here at like four minutes before. I was

editing my notes for today, so I had to wrap that up. That's exciting. Well, you haven't seen my notes yet. Don't get me wrong. No, but I love some Jeff notes. I don't think I've ever been disappointed by Jeff notes. I don't have a lot I don't have a lot of shit to talk about that's like important or anything just

important is the most important thing we talked about on this show it might be last week with Gavin in the best man moment I think that I mean that's a very important well I will I would like to say that since that heartfelt moment that I

I never intended to share on camera and then it just kind of happened. Gavin and I have not spoken once. So that was the point, though. You said that in the moment. We've texted. Oh, if you texted, that's that's speaking. You're talking. What do we text about the rocks?

And when we're doing that, we texted about schedule stuff. You're absolutely right. I feel like I handled the best man request so poorly. No. I think you handled it in the most endearing way. I listened to it back and I was like, wow, I don't sound

grateful at all. I couldn't be more blessed to have that request. Honestly, it's one of the best things I've ever been asked. I think you came across as overwhelmed due to how touched you were by the moment. I completely disagree that you didn't seem sincere. I totally agree as well. You have to read between the... You're like jazz

music. You have to listen to the notes Gavin doesn't play. I've learned that over the years. It's your cool British demeanor, which I know flies in the face of everything I said about how every British person cries on Traders. You're kind of like the opposite of that. I felt the sincerity.

Oh, I'm glad. Well, I mean, you're the only person who I... That's the most important one, right? Yeah, that's exactly right. Yeah, I would say so. Eric's pissed off. Yeah, he is. He's already angry.

No, I'm not mad. I'm thinking about getting mad, but I'm not mad yet. He's thinking about getting mad. Yeah, I'm just thinking about it. It's all good. Just do the intro. It's pissed off. Yeah, he is. He's already angry. No, I'm not mad. I'm thinking about getting mad, but I'm not mad yet. He's thinking about getting mad. Yeah, I'm just thinking about it. It's all good. Just do the intro. It's all good. What number is this?

People keep saying I'm mad. I'm thinking I'm mad. Hello, and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast. My name is Jeff Ramsey, and with me, as always, Andrew Panton, way up there in Vancouver Island, Canada, and hanging out in the land of the straight malls, as they're called. And then also, from... There's a bad mall issue recently. We'll get into it in a second.

And then from schmancy, pancy Oxfordshire, England, by way of Austin, Texas, my favorite Brit, Gavin Free. How are you guys doing? I'm Free. How are you guys doing? I'm great. How are you guys? I'm fucking awesome. Pretty damn good. Yeah.

Do you think I was, I'm trying to get into new podcasts and it always pisses me off until I have a grasp of who's talking when. Do you think all of our voices are easy enough to differentiate? I have no idea. Yeah, I think so.

I think so. Well, first off, you have an accent. That's why I think it goes for us is that we, I think so. I think so. Well, first off, you have an accent. That's why I think it goes for us. I think I sound incredibly... I sound the opposite of Eric. Yeah, it's the thing that I always got from Face Jam, like when we started, was people couldn't tell me and Michael apart.

I don't understand that, but it's just what we heard a lot. And so I don't think we run into that problem here at all i think we all are if you think of it as like a circle i think we're all at like very far points from each other on the circle i don't think any of us are close what's weird is i recently somebody i know started listening to the podcast and they told me what my voice sounds like and I was like what are you talking we've talked before why did it take

you listening to the pod why are you telling me this we've had conversations this is a ridiculous take by you there is some there's some great mall drop I'm seeing if I can find a photo there was a guy that was arrested at the mall that looked like he had a,

I don't even know, like a Mad Max, like a cartoonish Mad Max weapon. He had like a dollar store crossbow, like a bow and arrow with a syringe. It's the arrow. It's just very not ideal, but the photos of it are just absurd.

Was he trying to vaccinate people at range? Yeah, I think so. Potentially. I think that's the best option. He really likes vaccines. And he just wanted to make sure everyone was all good. Maybe he was trying to get on the subreddit mall.

Eric found it. Oh, God. A syringe with a crossbow. That was a recent mall incident. Wow. So maybe the normal mall's taking a little bit of a ding. How much, Andrew, let me ask, how much trouble did you get into? Oh, listen, they don't want to mess with the child kicker.

It's fine. A lot of those cops have kids. I'm not saying, I've never kicked a kid. I would never kick a kid. Just, you know, it's a fact. But if you did kick a kid, it wouldn't be a cop's kid. But if you did kick a kid, it wouldn't be a cop's kid. It wouldn't.

Could we make an accurate ballistic gel dummy of a kid so it looks and feels and has the right weight to it? Could we get you to kick it? Yeah, but my immediate concern in my head when I play out this scenario is the power of my kick goes through the gel, then my ankle rolls and my entire body breaks you'd be the first person to roll an ankle kicking someone yeah well no i'm sure that's happened like that that has to have happened but i just i see like the spartan kick and my foot

going through the chest and then my other ankle rolling and then me like breaking my arm on the way down and just severely just being out of commission for a long time. This is... I gotta say, that syringe, that picture of that syringe on the ground is reminding me of a story. It's not even a story, just something that I remember.

It's reminding me of a memory. I'm being memory reminded. Back when I used to run a punk zine, back in the late 90s, I used to get a lot of free records in the mail and shit. And I got a record one time, I got a CD one time from this punk band called Guttermouth. I'm sure Eric knows of them.

SoCal, California band, very offensive. And it was a live album and on the CD in the in the portion where you open it there's like the spine right in that spine they included a syringe like a working usable syringe

and I think they got in a lot of lot of trouble and they had to pull it off the shelves and they couldn't sell it anymore and I still had that for I probably could have sold that but I think I think it's in a lot of trouble and they had to pull it off the shelves and they couldn't sell it anymore. And I still had that. I probably could have sold that. But I think it's in a landfill somewhere with the rest of the CDs. Is it because people didn't know it was in there and they were pricking themselves?

No, you could see it. It didn't come with a needle. I think it was just encouraging needle drug use. And it turned out it was a bad look. It's like when, I think it was for the godfather 2 game they mailed brass knuckles out to every press outlet like everybody that they sent a package to got brass knuckles which ended up being an illegal weapon and a lot of the states that they sent it to and they had to like send the baby there's a whole issue the syringe seems fine without a needle that seems fine i didn't know do

you still when's the last time you made a zine oh many many years ago I thought of it so that's the album and then in the left where you see the happy sad faces there was just a syringe in there that you could pop that's great that's crazy clearly not in that one you know I thought about making zines for us obviously yeah

the Andrew zine or whatever but we just haven't gotten I haven't gotten around to it I well you know what I guess the last zine I made was Rooster Teeth. That's kind of what it progressed into. It progressed from punk zine to other punk zine to comedy zine to ugly internet to drunk gamers to Rooster Teeth. So it was kind of like one long

project with many iterations. Do you have any of your old zines? Still in collection somewhere? No, I was a digital zine. I did everything online. Oh, just digital. I do not, unfortunately. I might have.

Maybe I have something printed out. I'd have to look. I don't think so, though. I had a conversation the other day with someone that could never have occurred in real life. I was rooting around. I was trying to find something on on my old facebook account which i haven't logged into in a long time and uh i guess like messenger has had an update since i last used it and i and i just went over to a different tab and i was like oh shit there's messages here from uh from people

actually know as opposed to like a bunch of spam from thousands of people who have just found my profile. And it was like, hey, I heard you're in Austin. I've just moved to California. Do you want to be up? And it was one of my friends who I met on holiday. I was like, oh, sure. Where are you? Where'd you move to?

In California. And he replied and was like, uh, and he listed where he was and he was like acting kind of strange. And I looked at when he'd sent the original message. It was May 2013. Can you imagine saying, like, Hey, I'm here. That's so long.

Hey, you want to meet up? And then a decade goes by. It would have been quicker to talk to me if I was on, like, Neptune or something. You've always got to check when the message was sent. Honestly, it looked like it was right at the top of my thing, and it looked new, like it was bold. And I was like, oh, sweet.

I don't know why it was there. It surely should have been under everything else. was so confused and so was he did you have a conversation after that I was like oh my god I'm sorry I just I think it's past the point of apology I don't think you need to apologize for that I think of anything now we should definitely be up 10 years in the making but't think you need to apologize for that. I think if anything now, we should definitely be up. Ten years in the making. But I think you need to schedule that ten years from now. Sorry for the late reply.

Been busy. It must have seemed so weird getting that reply without any reference to the massive time gap. That's an interesting idea. You can only talk to this person in a one-block window every ten years. You need to get everything you need articulated in like a day. I felt really bad that he replied immediately to it. That's great. He would let me smell it.

So much better. It honestly felt like he'd said it 10 years ago and then just waited by the phone to reply for a decade. Is that the only point of contact that person has with you yeah okay that's fantastic wow 10 years i don't think i've i'm trying to think if i've had a gap of that with anybody my life i don't know if i have that's a long time 10 years yeah you wouldn't you went a couple years without talking to me because you in yeah but that's that i was mad at you it was like two years yeah i was i was a kid i was dumb i'm still dumb but i was dumber then i'm slightly smarter than i was when i was what like 18 how

many people do you think are out there that are in that that like in that category of you and i not talking for two years or Gavin just not seeing that message from somebody for like 10 years? How many people are out there in the periphery of your life who you consider as friends but they no longer consider you as a friend

because you didn't see their text or contact them? You just don't know but they hate you now because they think you ignore them. Like there's got to be a couple for each of us, right? I got confronted about that. Yeah. Wow.

By a different person? Different person. There was someone who I was friends with on the original Red vs. Blue forums. Okay. Like 2003, 2004.

And I guess at some point they came through Austin and I didn't reply to them because they messaged me on facebook which i've never really used for talking to people and uh it was basically i found a message was like hey we're gonna meet austin hey just check it in man i'm kind of bummed that you ignored me blah and then it was like i found it like three years later and i had to mess with me i just don't know if i've never spoken to you on Facebook. You can't be annoyed that I'm not replying.

I clearly are just not on that platform. I had something very similar where I also don't use Facebook ever. I don't know the last time I've checked messages on Facebook. And I, and even when I wouldn't, I mean, I've never used it at any, there was no point where I was like a heavy Facebook user.

And I logged in one time for something or other, and I saw a message from one of my best friends in high school. And I thought, oh, cool. I haven't talked to him in 15 years or 20 years even, maybe. And it was a message that was like, hey, man, just wanted to say, it's great to see all the success you're having with Rooster Teeth and stuff. And I'd love to get together sometime. Or I'd really, if you ever want to send me a DVD or or something i'd love to watch it just to see what you're all

about and then it was like hey man you must be pretty busy uh was like the next message and uh just get back to me when you can and then like two weeks later he sent a message it was like fuck you you rich piece of shit you forgot where you came from you've abandoned all your old friends you're too fucking good to talk to us. You suck. You suck. I hate you. And I saw that message like three months after he sent it.

And so I was just like, well, I guess that one's dead. Did you even reply to that one? No, fuck no. Oh, you should have replied. No way. That's so rude. I don't use the platform. I'm sorry.

There should be a thing that says like it hadn't been read, right? It has to be like a read receipt or something on it, I would assume. I don't use the platform. I'm sorry. There should be a thing that says it hadn't been read, right? It has to be a read receipt or something on it, I would assume. I don't know. I don't use Facebook. You've probably turned it off, but yeah, I don't know. That's what I'd assume. It's just fascinating because you're watching that person spiral emotionally. So I don't know.

I feel like I definitely would reply because they are so in the wrong. Now, what am I going to do? Get in an argument and try to defend myself by saying i don't use your shitty social media platform no it's just like that's a lot of conclusions to jump through in the span of like two weeks when i clearly hadn't posted a photo on facebook in 10 years at that point you know it's not like you'd see any status updates from me or anything i yeah but mean, if you would have replied in their head, you're still ignoring them. There's never any resolution on their side.

Now, as of the day I read that message, I'm fucking ignoring them. You're absolutely right. I am ignoring that person now. I wasn't, but now I am. But when was this? Can we do a Gavin thing? Can you reply 10 years from now? Can we schedule it? I'm not doing that. This was But what was this how long can we do a Gavin thing can you reply to no no no no schedule?

I'm not doing that this was probably Five years ago. Oh well. We're already so I've been in 10. I've been ignoring about five years It's scary. I would hate to see all of the stuff. I've missed from people. I really like yeah It's not are you scared because you might not like them anymore is that the risk assessment of what's there although they don't like me because i ignored them yeah but i'm saying like that that's ended jeff's friendship with this person ended because it's not a person i would love to talk to them about it but i'm not gonna get into an online thing with anybody and i don't and by the way i way, I still like the person very much.

I still, I had a lovely. What are you doing then? I had a lovely childhood growing up with them. Ah, because, because I would never, Andrew,

Andrew. Yeah. I would never, ever send a message like that to you. Not in earnest. Not in, and I wouldn't send it to anybody else. I think it speaks a lot to a person's character

when they would do something like that, especially in their 30s or 40s. That's a pretty big warning sign to me. That's fair, but just if you're taking the angle of I'd maybe mend things in person and I still like them. I don't know. I feel like it's just a low risk. If it doesn't go well, you can just continue to ignore it.

Nick said, I'm going to get mad Facebook messages now. Not that I know of. I'll let you know in six years when I need to log into Facebook to check something. I'm scared now. I can't really think of anything that I have

that's like that. There must be, right? Do you have an old like ICQ account or like any kind of messenger like that that still operates or not really? I was an aim guy and then I was on. I made a Facebook and a Twitter account and that's about it. As far as social platforms that I used. I made a Lego. Lego has a social media website.

I made that like a year ago. I don't think anyone's mad at me on there. I don't remember what that's called. It was just weird as I was looking through because I'm so disconnected from social media is just looking through the app store and there's like a Lego social media thing. I think mainly for kids, but I don't I don't really know. I made an account. It's really dumb.

It seems weird. I should check. Did you enjoy it? I didn't really use it. I made an account. It's really dumb. It seems weird. I should check. Did you enjoy it? I didn't really use it. Like, I made an account, and I didn't really understand what the purpose of it was, and I didn't want to talk to anybody, so it's sort of useless,

but I wish I could remember what it's called. Hey, if you guys will indulge me for a second, I have a piece of, like, I guess a kind of piece of F***face-related news, or news or at least related news that could be crowbarred in the face. Well, first off, I'm having a crazy sports weekend that I did not intend. But six months ago or so, it was announced that the San Antonio Spurs were going to have two games in Austin. And so I immediately bought tickets for both games. Turns out it's tonight and then Saturday night.

tickets for both games. Turns out it's tonight and then Saturday night. And of course, it's late enough into the season where they're playing the Spurs are playing the Portland Trailblazers tonight. And of course, the Spurs are out of playoff contention and the Trailblazers are out of playoff contention. And they shut down

Damian Lillard. So it's going to be like it's going to be basically like watching two practice squads play. But still, it's like I couldn't live with myself if NBA basketball came to town. It was five miles away from me and I didn't go to it. So I'm going to see a pointless NBA game tonight and then another pointless NBA game Saturday night. Taking Eric with me tonight, by the way. Very excited about that.

You're going to hang out with Eric? I am going to hang out with Eric at a basketball game tonight. hang out with Eric at a basketball game tonight. And anyway, yesterday, I got an email from the San Antonio Brahma's, my favorite XFL football

team, who would have been the focus of our podcast that never happened. And they said, hey, man, we heard you talking about the Brahma's on F*** Face. We wanted to invite you out to a game. So Sunday, I'm taking Emily and Millie, and we're going to go down and we're going to watch a Brahmins game. They got us really cool seats by the clubhouse.

And then they messaged me last night, and they said, hey, by the way, if you want, we would love it if you would run the team out on the field, and we'll announce you. What? You gotta do this. Are you serious? It's gonna be on ESPN.

No! It's gonna be on ESPN, I think. So I'm gonna fucking run the team out. Can we clip this part out and release it before this happens? People need to know. Jeff, people need to know about this. I just confirmed 15 minutes before this podcast. I was like, I thought about it for a while, and I was like, I don't know if I want to.

I was like, you know what? I'll never get that opportunity. I like the idea that a minute ago, you're like, I'd never live with myself if I missed the NBA coming to town and then you like an opportunity to be on ESPN and run a team onto the field. You're like, I don't know

about that. I've got to come to terms with the fact that people can hear this podcast. I feel like it's so dangerous. Did I shit on their logo? Yeah, I did. You probably did. You did, but I defended it.

I love the logo and I think Andrew does too. Can we clip this part out and release it so people know that this is happening? Are you fine with that, Jeff? Didn't you just ask that?

I'm totally fine with that. Right, but't you just ask that? I'm totally... Right, but I want to make sure... He didn't get an answer. Right, I asked it and then nobody said fucking shit about it. I said yes both times, but I'm like the least qualified to prove it. Gavin, what would the preview do for us?

You know how Jeff's been doing like, oh, coming up on episode X of on Instagram. Jeff, I'm so excited for you. This comes out on the week of the 19th. Have you thought about what you're going to wear? I don't know. You should wear the F*** Face baseball uniform.

Jeff, can I? Andrew said yes. Gavin thought we all said yes. I'm asking you, the person this is happening to, can I clip this part out and can we release it early, like this particular part where you announce it and let people know that you're going to be there running the team out on the field?

I'm totally fine with that if the other guys are. Thank you. And we could do it as preview of episode 150 before even 149 is coming. That would be the, right, that's the issue that I'm running into when you say that is that we're previewing an episode before the next episode.

I think that's great. That is the craziest. That is, imagine, Gavin, imagine if a preview for the next Matrix movie came out, but it's not the next Matrix movie. It's the one after it. I think that's very interesting it's once again we're playing with the medium and people will be like oh do that don't you mean 149 nope nope have you guys

seen the trailer for matrix 5 yet i thought they haven't announced matrix 4 they haven't okay all right we'll clip this out we'll let people know jeff i'm so this is the coolest fucking thing in the world to me this is so i think it's this rules this rules you're gonna run a team out on the field this rips dude this is so cool it's wild right i was probably just gonna wear like a brahma's hoodie but i don't know how hot it would be i'll definitely try to wear like my face hat or like maybe a baseball jersey or something. I think wearing the baseball jersey would be hilarious. A guy dressed in a baseball uniform.

You didn't have time to change. You're a multi-sport athlete and you had to go. There's no more time. Oh, man, that's funny. Anyway, so it's gonna be like a crazy fucking sports weekend. And as somebody who's mostly a shut in, the idea of going to three events and one out of out of town in four days is a little daunting to me. But I'm going to I'm going to soldier through it. I am so excited for you.

What a time. It's pretty cool. It's pretty cool. There's no way where this doesn't become more content. And I think that's what excites me the most. All the ways respectfully to you. And I hope it doesn't. There's so many ways this doesn't become more content. And I think that's what excites me the most. All the ways, respectfully to you, and I hope it doesn't, there's so many ways this could go wrong.

There's so many ways in which this could fail for you. And no matter what happens, I'm really excited about it. I was thinking to myself, like, do you ever see the episode of Always Sunny where they're practicing hockey because they're going to shoot the slap shot to try to win $50,000 or whatever. And Mac, he ends up falling and cracking his head open. And they play it on SportsCenter over and over again. And that's the highlight. I was like, if I can trip and be whacked in the head by one of the flags,

or it goes up my butt and lifts me off the ground or something, and then I fucking fall. I'm kind of hoping something catastrophic happens just so I can make not top 10 plays of the day. Yeah. I think you got to evaluate a blown quad for sure. Like your knee exploding. Exactly. Yeah, you got to factor in those injuries.

Did you see, and I know Eric definitely would have seen this, did you see the clip of Shane McMahon at WrestleMania getting hurt this past weekend? The timing of it? He had a match with The Miz and it's it's hilarious where I guess Eric would probably know better than I would contextually it felt like Shane hadn't wrestled in a long time I'm assuming and so this was like their big Wrestlemania match and they start the match and he jumps over The Miz and the announcer yells, Shane still got it! While Shane simultaneously blew his quad out.

He just falls to the ground. He couldn't do it. But luckily, Snoop Dogg was leading him into the match. He was Shane's guy for it. And so they're panicking and they're like, what are we going to do? This guy blew his knee out within 20 seconds. Snoop Dogg calls an audible,

jumps into the ring and punches the Miz and then just goes off on the mic about it, and is like, how could you do this to my man Shane? And he hits him a second time, and then he just started posing, and he did one of the worst people's elbows I've ever seen to The Miz,

so they'd have an ending, but they improvised all of it because the guy blew his knee out. And is the guy just rolling around on the ground in pain while Snoop Dogg's doing it? Yeah, they extracted him at a certain point. They just got him out of it.

That's Shane McMahon. I just sent the clip of Shane McMahon doing a leapfrog landing and blowing his quad out. Oh, I recognize that from the NBA. He ain't going nowhere. Oh, my God. That's 18 months of rehab. Yeah. Oof.

Isn't it crazy how your body could just immediately fail? Yeah. Yeah. It was, it was really something. And then, uh, I can send the clip of Snoop Dogg doing the people's elbow.

Oh, so good. Oh, this was all improv. Like they kept yelling at him, Snoop people's elbow, do the people's elbow, do the people's elbow. the people's elbow then he did

it and that and everybody cheered and then they played a snoop dog song and he danced around it was pretty it was pretty crazy it was pretty fucking crazy it's the way he bounces off the ropes makes me laugh so hard every time it's the daintiest because it's tough to do that. Yes, it is. It's a difficult thing. It looks like he was just like peeping out a window. Anyone out there? Nope.

We got to get this podcast big enough so that Eric can do that on a wrestling. I mean, honestly, I could probably just go to a local show in Austin and do that now. It just won't be at WrestleMania ever. Yeah, but we want it to be at WrestleMania. Okay. Sounds good. Eric, why don't you just become a local wrestler? Oh, it hurts.

It hurts. Yeah, it seems really painful. It is very painful. Whether you have a good match or a bad match, it hurts the same. And that was a big revelation when I learned how to do it. But you're all about it. Like, wouldn't you want to be stuck in? I mean, it's fun.

But, like, it seems like then you have to, like, you're either going to weekend warrior the thing and you're just going to kind of, like, be at a level. And then it's, like, an obligation every week. Or it's fun just to go to shows. It would be fun as, like, a one-off thing. But that's it. I don't think I could ever, like, do it. To do to go to shows. It would be fun as like a one-off thing, but that's it. I don't think I could ever like do it. To do it consistently, especially, and I know there are people

that have started wrestling at an older age. I feel like once you've hit an age where you wake up with injuries that you don't know how they happen, the idea of wrestling is so much less appealing. Like that's a real, that's a real pursuit. Yeah, it's a lot.

And I don't, it's a lot. That's kind of how I feel about standup. It's fun to do like three times. Yeah, I think that's a real that's a real pursuit it's a lot and i don't it's a lot that's kind of how i feel about stand-up it's fun to do like three times yeah i think that's a good way to i think it's kind of like the same exact thing it's exactly this is neat but also if i had to do this four times a week every week i i would never i would never yeah you don't you don't want to get hurt you don't want to take that kind of pain, and I don't want to stay up late. You look at people now like Mick Foley and people who, like, whatever,

it's like, ah, you know, wrestling's fake and all that stuff. But the guy's, like, got no teeth and his ear is missing, and he, like, fell through the top of a cage. That guy was absolutely nuts. Yeah, it's crazy. I have some friends that wrestle.

I have a friend who wrestles locally here and kind of all over Texas, this guy Dimitri Alexandrov. And he does a lot of death match wrestling, which is, like, if you're not familiar, he goes through glass panels and into thumbtacks and gets cut up with stuff

and hit with stuff. And it's always like man you just really love this huh and uh he does but also this is what he looks like all the time uh he's just beat up cut up all constantly constantly yeah it's fucked man it's really rough i feel like i'm in a great spot with wrestling where it's like i'll occasionally hear dumb things about it that make me really appreciate it but then i'm not super lee it'd be fun it just seems like a big commitment to keep up to date with everything it does but it's great whenever you hear like i i recently learned that in the past ray mysterio has a kid named dominic and they had a ladder match for the custody of Dominic.

That is a premise that's so funny to me. I don't know anything else about the context of it, but I just love the idea of a custody battle being settled via ladder match. That's the image from the paper. That poor little kid. That's so good. But now he's a great heel. He's an amazing wrestler. He just wrestled his dad, Ray Mysterio, at WrestleMania.

It was pretty crazy. I guess he's got some issues to work out probably. Wow, I didn't expect from being pawned off in a ladder match. I think I'd like to be decided through a ladder match. I think I'd like to be decided through a ladder match. I think that'd be fun. Well. At least you can tell both people want me.

That's your concern? That is so sad. You just want to be wanted? God damn. That's so spoken like a true child of divorce. God damn, man. I damn man people don't want me my it's like reminds me of when i when my parents got divorced my stepdad said i'm still gonna be a

part of your life don't you worry and then he went out to get the ladder for the ladder match oh god damn oh it's so sad i think more more stuff should be decided like that like if people like want to quit their job you should just have to like play for it you should wrestle for it wherever you're going you better believe American Express will be right there with you. Heading for adventure? We'll help you breeze through security. Meeting friends a world away? You can use your travel credit. Squeezing every drop out of the last day? How about a 4 p.m. late checkout? Just need a nice place to settle in? Enjoy a room upgrade.

Wherever you go, we'll go together. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamx. Benefits vary by card. Terms apply. Oh, man. Hey, speaking of wrestling, do you remember that movie The Wrestler with Mickey Rourke?

Absolutely. Well, I watched another movie with Mickey Rourke. Oh, the movie? Well, you know, I watched another movie with Mickey Rourke. Oh, no. Well, you know, I've been reading the comments and people seem to like him, but I like the experimentation of it. So here's what I did. I mean, I wrote I watched two movies. One of them I think we may have talked about on this podcast before. I can't remember but one thing that i've learned uh is that uh every piece of content that was created

more than five years ago is problematic every piece of content that was made more than 20 years ago is beyond problematic uh and that was not my intention when i watched these movies but i watched the 1987 film angel Heart with uh with Mickey Rourke and Lisa Bonet in it and I watched this movie specifically because I remember wanting to watch it when I was a kid but I was too scared because there's like some voodoo stuff in it and it was too scary for me and so I thought the other night I wasn't sleepy uh I was playing gems of war after Emily went to bed and I got bored and I thought I'm gonna watch a movie and so I I was like you know it just popped into bored, and I thought, I'm going to watch a movie. And so I was like, you know,

it just popped into my head, and I thought, fuck it. I'm going to watch it. I got about 20 minutes in before I had to turn it off because it was too scary, but then I watched it the next morning. So let me just say, if you want to watch Angel Heart, watch it in the morning. But I don't know how to really give a review for these problematic films, so I just decided to give insights.

And by the way, let me say specifically to Angel Heart, not to the other movie. It's beautiful. Like it is one of the most cinematic films I've ever seen. It's so beautifully shot. Just from a technical standpoint, it is phenomenal. Can I ask,

were you scared to watch it while you were, were you watching this in bed next to sleeping Emily? No, I was in the living room. Okay. Do you think if you were in the bedroom watching it, you would have been able to handle it? No, and I wouldn't have done it

because I would have jumped so much it would have woken her up. I don't think you can watch scary next to somebody sleeping. I think that's too dangerous. Yeah, if you're somebody who reacts to it, that's definitely a selfish move. I always remembered,

and I don't mean this to be mean, but I always remember Mickey Rourke as being kind of a joke actor because he kind of went off the deep end after nine and a half weeks and and Wild Orchid and he just he just got weird right but he was so fucking good

and so good looking like he was a really attractive guy in 1987 in this movie Angel Heart like holy shit but anyway here's my insights to it here's all I'll say about because I don't really want to recommend these movies or not. I'm just going to say the particular insights that I've learned.

And this one, I'm just going to give you a warning. What did I write down? Here we go. Angel Heart. This is a tough movie to watch if you like chickens. Conversely, this is a really tough movie to watch if you don't like chickens. So that's all I'm going to say about Angel Heart. The other movie I watched, which is one I think

I can't remember if we've talked about, or you and I have talked about personally, Gavin, is a movie called Dressed to Kill. Does that bring a bell? Have we discussed that? Dressed to Kill. It sounds familiar. It came out in 1980. It's a Brian De Palma film. Deeply problematic film.

Stars Michael Caine, which is why I thought maybe we had discussed it in the past, Gavin, maybe personally. I can't remember anything about it. All I'm going to say about this film is if you ever, and I think this is good life advice in general,

if you ever drop a glove at a museum, like you just like you're wearing gloves, like isotoners specifically in this instance and one of them falls and then you realize you dropped your glove and you go back for it you will end up getting a venereal disease and then you will be like god so if you drop a

glove at a museum leave it museums just became way more high stakes yeah there you go that's dress to kill and angel heart tough to watch if Angel Heart, tough to watch if you like chickens. Tough to watch if you don't like chickens.

And then Dressed to Kill, let the glove go. You'll die with the disease. I'm very torn on this chicken thing because I love chicken. I consider myself a huge chicken guy, but mainly because of

what they taste like in eating them. And I don't know if that means I like or dislike chickens. Yeah. I'm not sure how to evaluate this. What, you think you would dislike the taste if you liked chickens more? Well, I just, I don't know how I feel.

Can I say I like chickens when I like chickens because I eat chickens a lot? I consume a lot of chicken. Yeah. So, okay. So I'm pro-chicken, even though that's against the chicken. From the chicken's perspective, they would hate me. Well, I mean, I would say the average person could say, well, I eat a lot of eggs, right? And that's something that a chicken provides, but you're not an egg guy.

That's a great point. I've balanced it out. I'm not an egg guy. I think we're, yeah, that's a great, thanks, Jeff. What class is a movie as problematic? Is it when... What? What?

What the hell? Well well here's the thing right is it when the good guy does something that shitty by today's standards because surely the bad guy like murdering people's bad right but that still happens in movies today uh in the specific case of Dressed to Kill, I could explain it, but it would spoil the secret of the movie. Like this is kind of the secret point of the movie is why it's problematic. But I'll tell you that like the way they treat it, the way the good people in the movie treat it

is also problematic. I'll say that. Interesting. Yeah. And then Angel that. Interesting. Yeah. And then Angel Heart. Angel Heart's just it's just a movie that takes place in Brooklyn in New York in the 1940s. So it's just pure racism constantly.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think it's even like character specific. I think it's almost like an idea of handling a subject irresponsibly on a platform that is large it's that is where it would it's funny too because you can tell in the watching of dress to kill that they think they're handling the subject properly and maybe they were for 1980 given sensibilities then but it hasn't aged well i would love to go back and read imdb reviews of stuff because because some of those

reviews are like 20 years old like i think it'd be fascinating to go back to a movie like chasing amy or something and read the reviews when it just came out compared to reading the reviews now i bet they'd be pretty different oh for sure for sure i'm listening to uh there's this podcast i listen to called you must remember this and And it's this lady who uncovers like the secret histories of Hollywood's first 100 years. And so it's like the stories behind the stories. She's doing a series right now called Erotic 80s. And so she's going through. And right now, the episode I just listened to was all about Pretty Woman.

And what a phenomenon that movie was that launched the career of Julia Roberts and was seen as this very empowering love story and it has not aged particularly well and you get to hear like the reviews of she reads the reviews of it from like the magazines

at the time and then discusses like how the view has changed over time and then discusses like how the cult how the how the view has changed over time and and and how it hasn't uh it's it's fascinating if it's if you're into that kind of thing it's same with like when you watch sleepless in seattle or something like bill pullman's character is is like the dweeb who uh she like wants nothing to do with but he's the only good person in the movie and she's like a crazy stalker person and tom hanks is also terrible like the two main the two like heroes of the movie are just she they're just awful but i'm sure but when it

came out it was fine yeah yeah like contextually change it you know what's weird about chasing amy is that there are trading cards for that movie oh we should get some i i don't know if they're out they got announced in like 2019 and they consistently seem to get pushed but i just i think it's such a weird thing to release modern trading cards for chasing amy there's like chase autograph like i just don't know who that is for like obviously kevin smith fans but it just is such a niche movie i'll tell you who it's for it's for me in 1998. The idea of having a Ben Affleck auto for Chasing Amy is really funny to me. What year was that?

Because all those movies got turbo Weinsteined, didn't they? Yeah. Probably like 99 or so, I would think. No, I mean, when did the cards come out? Oh, they haven't yet. I don't think they've released yet. I think they keep getting pushed back. I think it's pre-orders everywhere. Infinitely pushed.

Yeah, it's pre-order now, it says. Yeah, it's really strange. I've never seen them available for sale, but they popped up on my radar in 2019. That's a thank me later. I had a great one of those recently that I'm very excited about. I set myself up in a prime position for a thank me later with the guy that made Calvin and Hobbes is doing his first book since stopping there.

Comes out in October. What is that? Bill. Bill Watterson. I want to say. Yeah, I've ordered that. It'll come in October. I'm definitely going to forget.

I'm so excited to just randomly get that book in October. It's going to be great. You'll come in October. I'm definitely going to forget. I'm so excited to just randomly get that book in October. It's going to be great. You'll thank you later. I will. I had a weird thing happen. Not a weird thing. I've been doing a weird thing, and it's made me think about weird things. You have things that you don't.

Eric said no way. eric said no way i will say that there was recently a poll on the face twitter account of who's the weird one after the whole argument of i think we had that debate where did that come from yeah i would like a recount because mine was not high enough i won with like 67 of the vote i should have had higher but as the weird one yes the weird one I definitely more than that we're we're pushing against you being the weird one that was oh I'm definitely more weird than you are but anyway weirdness I was an unfortunate way of phrasing that I really regret this entire angle that I've gone through anyway I had a thing that it has become normalized where I have a pack I even know how to explain this I have a bag of it has become normalized where I have a pack.

I even know how to explain this. I have a bag of, you know, gingerbread houses. Have you heard of those? Yeah, I had one of those and I never make them, but I opened it up.

And so I just ended up with a bag of icing on my, my bedside table. And it's been there since November and it has turned into my ice pack when I need an ice pack. So whenever I have a really bad headache, I just grab my bag of icing because it's cold, and I put that on my head. It's cold just from being in the room?

It's cold from just being in the room. It's become my reusable ice pack, and I never thought about how odd it is that I'm using a bag of icing from a gingerbread house as an ice pack. So I was curious if you guys had things that you like when you take a step back, you realize, oh, this is odd. But I can trace how it happened. Yeah, go ahead.

Have you considered using an ice pack? Well, that often is in my little fridge. And if I'm in bed and I'm comfortable, but I have a headache or something. Oh, but the icing is always within arm's reach. The icing is always within arm's reach, so I just grab it, and it works great. I use it on one side, then it heats up, and then I flip it over, and it's cooling in, and then I'm probably good by the time it reheats. Why is the icing there uh because i opened it in my bedroom and i i just i left it on the bedside table like i put i never built the set it's still

the gingerbread is still wrapped up in my closet and the icing just ended up on my end table and one day when i was having a headache, like I kind of felt like I was fighting a fever or something. I was like, oh fuck, I have this. I'll just put this. This feels cold.

And I've used it ever since. I've been using this for like three months now, but it just occurred to me that this is an odd thing. I was like, this is strange. I'm taking a step back. It is. I don't think there are many people using bags of gingerbread icing for ice packs

This is curious if you guys had anything if you take a step back Maybe had a natural lead-in To it or like it makes how you got there I don't think I made any weird choices along the way I just I think it was a pretty weird choice the first time you picked it up and put it on your head Yeah, well, I was feeling awful, and I was like, I need to cool down somehow. What can I do? And I just grabbed that.

I don't think I had an ice pack in my room at that time. So you were being resourceful, and you discovered a method that works so well, you've eliminated the need to refreeze your ice pack. Yes. The fact that it works at room temperature. I like to keep my room very cold. I'm a cold room guy. Let me ask you this. Do you anticipate ever eating the frosting?

No. No. I had that thought. I think it is more useful to me as an ice pack than it is a food to consume. When is icing useful whenever I have a headache or I feel too hot Whatever you need to build a gingerbread house like if you remember icing from the world it might be the least impactful thing

Oh gingerbread house. Like, if you removed icing from the world, it might be the least impactful thing. Oh, I think you get very underrating icing. The least impactful? No. It's only ever on top of what you want to eat. Yeah, we got this fucking Branstad mouse son of a bitch talking down to icing. Dude, if I get a choice between eating a cake or the icing that goes on a cake,

I'm eating the icing that goes on a cake and throwing the cake away. Oh, we should eat more cakes together because I always just smear the icing that goes on a cake, I'm eating the icing that goes on a cake and throwing the cake away. We should eat more cakes together because I always just smear the icing off the top so I can eat the cake. Yes, let's only eat our cakes together from here. I hate the fact that you would rank the pickled onion

above icing. That's terrible. Well, the pickled onion is more centered in what you're eating. I don't want the pickled onion, though. That's just the way you don't like. Yeah, but I think I'm not in the minority in that. I think a lot more people prefer icing than a pickled onion. That's like saying, oh, let's get rid of lava.

I'd never use it. No, shut up. No, they're both food. Let's not like that at all. You're saying least impactful. I'm saying that I think getting rid of pickled onion Is less impactful than icing I think there are way more people that like icing

Than pickled onion But with icing gone you still have the thing that the icing is on If pickled onions are gone what have you got in your hand Onion I don't need the pickled onion I don't care about the fact that I have a shitty cake without icing Jeff did you say onion Onion

The pickled onion is gone No but you still have an onion? Onion. The pickled onion's gone. No, but you still have an onion. Onion still exists. It's just not pickled. You have a pickle in one hand and an onion in the other. So you're just de-pickling it. Okay.

Yeah, you're just getting rid of the pickled onion. Why would getting rid of pickled onion get rid of all onion? That's ridiculous. It's a good point. If you're thinking

that getting rid of icing is getting rid of all sugar, what are you saying? Speaking of pickled onion, you got me there. Because somebody refused to do their Plowman's pizza recipe, I spent yesterday

at my coffee shop, I spent about two hours watching the Pizza Day video over and over. I probably watched it four times. It's 27 minutes long, I want to say. So I watched it. I watched about two minutes long i want to say so i watched it i watched about two hours of it so that i could write the plowman's recipe which i think i did a lovely uh job of and

now the cookbook is done tony's laying it out that's so excited so i only contributed to plowman's what did i do again oh you did stuff you did stuff you did stuff you did like your cold sandwich you have a salad in there. You've got lots of stuff. Everybody's represented. You did. And it's a really, really good recipe. It's actually, I don't want to play favorites, but it's, uh, it's one of the best in the book.

Oh, sick. Yeah. Then I just forgot to do the pizza one. It's 55 pages. It looks like. Holy shit. Now, 55 pages of recipes. I still have to write the end.

Uh, and that's going to hopefully be seven or eight pages by itself, but we'll see. I'm excited to see how that turns out. Me too. Anyway, I can't imagine it'll find its way to shelves anytime soon.

We still have to lay it out, and then it takes a billion years to get a book printed, but progress is underway. I have an idea that I've already talked to tony but i was gonna i was curious to see what you guys thought i need to pitch this to you so i was i was thinking about like i love the gerbler so much i use my gerbler all the time and then i was just thinking

of like all the dumb stuff we've released and how great that we could have like a switch fuck and that exists we've got the mini bats and like all that dumb shit how lucky it is that that we could have like a switch fuck and that exists. We've got the mini bats and like all that dumb shit. How lucky it is that, that we have the ability to essentially make whatever we want. And it's just like, and Tony's so great at coming up and mocking things. Let's think about when I was doing the anal passage website, all the stuff he mocked up and just how I feel like we're in a position that

we're not fully utilizing where we essentially could attempt to create at least an iteration of whatever we wanted. And so I wanted I had an idea of what if we all came up with what we would just our own. Like, what is a product that is not in the world or a thing that we want that doesn't exist, at least in the way we want it? And then we pitch them to each other. We present them like we talk to tony independently all of us about what we would like and then we get like a finalized thing and then we present the products to each other of like what our ideal product would be so it's the next round of unifar sort of yeah almost like a uniform thing i'm not going to claim that it's a

uniform thing because that's that's a jeff uh design i'm not gonna say that this is a uniform line but just the idea of the ability to make whatever you want is such a privileged position we have and there are some dumb things that i would love to have that just don't exist in the world so we're trying to create new objects yeah so all three of us would talk to tony and this is going to take a really long time from when we initially discuss it to it becoming an actual thing that could be purchasable. But yeah, the idea is we all would talk to Tony independently about what we'd want, and then once it becomes kind of like a finalized thing, we present it to each other on the show of what our products would be. Jeff's going to ape shit in the chat. I just keep posting the wrong photos. I thought the same, Nick. I thought keep posting the wrong photos I thought the same Nick

I thought that was a pipe I thought it was a tiny little like bubble blowing pipe no I just figured while Andrew was talking about the gerbler I was just preloading this some pictures I took of the gerbler the other day the point is I think it's a great idea Andrew

and I'm on board just let me know when and where to be and how to do it that's great here's something complicated I think it's a great idea, Andrew, and I'm on board. Just let me know when and where to be and how to do it. That's great. Here's something complicated. Yeah, just you fucking figure it out. You got it. Let me know.

Let me in. Yeah, I'll just... I come up with bullshit and give it to Tony and he makes it? We can do that. No, I think it's a great idea. We have to invent products from the ground up. Yeah, whatever, man. Just kind of like, I don't know, is it like a Tuesday or Wednesday or whatever? Dude, inventing products from the ground up is what i do i'm all about it for instance did you know

that the gerbler is not just the premier drinking vessel uh for humans uh throughout the world it also casts a really long red boner shadow now jeff sent me these photos over the weekend he texted me these images and i love them they're great i think these are great i had the realization i think these are the best photos jeff has ever taken up i was gonna compliment the composition on them yeah yeah they look great like these should be in the store page for the product i woke up the other morning and the gerbler i had left it uh on the counter and it was like 7 a.m and the sun had hit the window just right and it just made this long red like reflection of the gerbler down my uh countertop and i just thought like wow that's that's another

benefit to the gerbler has i didn't even think about it casts a really cool shadow and i was talking to tony about it because you know we have the blue we have the purple and the green gerbler coming out and i asked him if there's a way we can because, you know, we have the purple and the green gerbler coming out. And I asked him if there's a way we can manipulate the lighting so that we have them cross and then that creates purple. Oh, that's amazing. Right? So we're going to create, we're going to have them, he's going to, we're going to get on it.

We're going to figure out a way with Wes or whoever, and we're going to recreate what I've done here, but with the green and purple and and create gerbil in the middle do you think if we put a green or if we put both colors on either side of the roof of your house Jeff and when the sun shines and they cross that's where we dig that's a great idea I love that great idea that's such a great idea you're going Indiana Jones with it I thought you were going Batman and we were making like a gerb signal I like that idea. That's such a great idea. You're going Indiana Jones with it. I thought you were going Batman and we were making like a gurp signal. I like your idea so much better. That's so good.

Although I think technically for them to cross, we would need two suns. Might not work. You figure it out. We'll figure it out. Somebody on Jeff's roof with a flashlight and you're set. Flashlight and the sun. We just need a sun and a mirror. We'll be...

There we go. We got... Anyway, I think... I love your idea, Andrew. We got all this stuff, just so you guys are aware, we got all this stuff for... What is it?

The Gerpler, the Golden Gerpler, all that stuff. We just have to find a time and make this thing. Yeah, the to like find a time and make, yeah, the sun coming through a nice golden Gup. It's going to look so nice.

It's going to be beautiful. It's going to be really cool. Um, also the U S little USB drives that contain the secret video are really nice in themselves. Yes. They're very cool. They are cool.

Very cool. And we have to make, we have to do like, I'm really excited, I guess is what I'm saying. I'm very excited to see what happens and what we do next and what people are going to do with it. Because it's going to be, I don't know, like, it feels like what Andrew was saying. I'm sorry to get belabored about this, but it gets me, like, really excited.

We have a way to make whatever we want. like really excited we have a way to make whatever we want and then when you see it come into fruition it's like so exciting to me to actually see like oh like i thought we were just fucking around it's like oh no this is real like this is oh my god it's very very cool um we haven't discussed the this the stuff we saw with the audience yet have we we saw the other day in tony's office no i don't i don't know it's very cool there's some stuff coming out that's gonna it's just fucking it's i don't even know how to describe it it's so ludicrous it's it's very i don't know i also want to uh kind of double back to something andrew said where he said um these are the best pictures jeff has ever taken uh this is a picture that he took of gus when we were doing an episode

i think this picture is incredible we've posted it before i think it's really great and he jeff took this picture and showed it to me and i went this is such a good fucking photo what is wrong with you normally and he went i was a photographer for years and it yeah we've already established he's a great photographer it's insane that this can happen there's listen there's time to try and there's time not to try i think it's less about when you want to try and more that watching you try and use an iphone camera is very similar to watching my grandparents try to use it i was gonna going to say, I think the skill is there, but it's lost in the use of the device.

So if you take enough photos, this is bound to happen. You give me a Canon F1 and a roll of Ilford film, and I'll fuck your world up. Give me a fucking flat disc of a phone where everything I touch turns voice activation on and I have issues I'm good to see it's happy to see it though that's great I feel like it's like

the retired athlete like still sinking a three from a distance like you still got it like every the skills are maybe not fully there in the current world that we live but it's there there's something there there's a root there yeah you're like uh you're like a mod rashad like where you just get him back out there and he can make something happen but uh most of the time nope hey uh we're gonna um we're doing the rock draft tomorrow, right? I believe so, yeah.

I'm so excited for that. Are you really? Rock, not rock? I really, honestly... Fuck you, Gavin. I really am. Jesus Christ. Dude, I put so much work... I spent over two hours today working on my rock draft,

getting it ready. And I was laughing the entire time. Who goes first? Is that what you're about to ask? Well, yeah. Basically, who picks the rock? I think... What do you mean?

Well, whoever goes first is clearly picking Dwayne Johnson. No. No. I disagree. I went... I made certain... I'm going to be so bummed

if any of you guys pick my rocks. Because I got... I did a presentation. I'm going to be serious with you. I did fucking fun facts for each rock like i got a whole thing so i chose rocks that i don't think you guys will pick purely yeah so do we have the ability then yeah to like display powerpoints i was going to share my screen with y'all via

discord i figured okay fantastic try and do some i i need to still need to come up with three other rocks but then i'm ready um you come up with my rock we can we can talk about the uh rules of the rock draft when we actually do the rock draft because i feel like that's probably where it's really going to land it's going to be a while before it's out so there's not really a point here however and andrew i don't want to put you on the spot you said there might be another draft you want to do is that something you want to talk about here or not i was getting sure sure i can talk about it here i was going to explain it to you guys either pre-show or after uh my idea I was thinking about Jeff and malls and I was thinking like Jeff loves malls and as

if Jeff was in my town what would what aspect of the mall do I think Jeff would most care about which then made me think like what if we all drafted like we were malls like imagine we're all malls and we're drafting mall stores. And then whoever has the best mall wins the draft. That's what the audience would be voting on. That is awesome. So you get four stores,

but maybe not even stores, right? Four stores or four establishments within a mall to make the perfect mall. Is it aspects of the mall or is it physical places within the mall? I think it's physical places. And I think it's not, you can't take like cafeteria.

Like you have to take a place. Like you'd have to pick like Sbarro if you're going to. Okay. Got it. Yes. Oh man. I'm fucking set. I've already,

I have two. Oh, it's going to be hard to whittle down. Oh, there's so many great. For me, I think there's a clear one, one in my opinion of mall places,

but that's, you know, it'll be interesting to see as well. Because when I think mall cafeteria. Where is the mall located? Anywhere. What? It's just your mall.

It doesn't really matter. I mean, can I be bringing in an English chain to my mall? I was about to ask that. Oh, you absolutely could. Oh, I was about to ask. 100%. If Gavin is going to end up with a very British mall, it's going to be weird. Like, he's going to go, oh, yeah, Chumleys.

And we're going to go, what? it's gonna be weird like he's gonna go oh yeah chumleys and we're gonna go but i guess the price of that is like if you you're potentially taking away votes if like a smaller percentage of the audience doesn't know what you're talking about like for me cafeteria uh new york fries is a canadian mall staple but that is a canadian thing like i don't i don't expect anyone to know that so am i losing votes by putting that, even though in my head, that is a definitive mall experience? I'm going to get working on this immediately. Oh, man.

Do you know? Ah, shit, Andrew. What? You just gave me an idea. Oh, no. You just gave me an undoable idea. Oh, no. Does it do it?

I'm sitting here. I'm sitting here in my head trying to build, trying to lay my mall out, my four stores, how they would look next to each other. And then I realized what I need is a tiny town for malls. They should make like tiny town, but for mall stores. And then instead of making Christmas and Thanksgiving or Halloween, you can build your own perfect fucking mall out of ceramic tiny towns.

How do I do that? And if you had four, would you put them all in a line? Right, or how do you do it? Do you do like catty corner? Do you do like, I don't know. Oh man, I want to build a, I want a mall tiny town.

Do you know, I mean that probably doesn't exist, but do you definitively know? No, I don't definitively know but you should look i can't imagine it does eric can you contact the department 56 people and tell them to make tiny town malls i will do my best to do it i feel like andrew is the person that you want doing that i feel like he has the best success at this thing but i will do it for you if you'd like all right well maybe andrew would be better that's what i saying. Eric, what's your percentage this week?

Oh, I'm probably up to like a cool 70, 75. I'm feeling pretty good. Hey! I'm feeling pretty good. So here's the thing. This isn't like, this isn't ankle integrity. Like, I think that's important to know is that this isn't a number that just goes up every week. It's a number where I look at what is on my calendar and how

things work and then i like next week probably not going to be just based on looking at what i have next week probably not going to be uh right around that number but we will because i'm looking at my calendar i'm trying to decide which thursday i want to kick off again about not having um nitro but it seems like maybe not next week. You can do it next week if you'd like. Yeah, that should be fine. Maybe just before we start, you just let me know how it's going. Yeah, absolutely. I'll come in,

we'll start the episode, I'll be like 44 and you're like, not this week, but then I go like 81 and you go, ooh, fucking get him. That's a good idea. That'll work. We should wrap up though because we are oh man

I'm sorry it's you know quick hour very quick hour it's quick as dicks it was pretty pretty fucking quick we should stop there

because I have a reservation at Chumley's at 410 damn he's fancy his mall his mall restaurant takes reservations god damn

I was just gonna go with California Pizza Kitchen. I should say on the way out, I'm going to do a plug. We don't ever do these, but I figure I should. There's a comedy festival in Austin called the Moon Tower Just for Laughs Comedy Festival. It's a big deal

in the comedy world, I guess, in Austin. They have it every year. Like, tons of comedians come for it. It's like a three-day. It's like, I don't know, it's like Woodstock for comedians. And Rooster Teeth is going to put on a special Rooster Teeth podcast.

Live, ticketed event on April 19th. Nick, when does this episode come out? This day? No, the 19th. Nick, when does this episode come out? This day? No, the 19th. Okay, cool. Yeah. So if you're listening to this and you're not doing anything,

it's six o'clock tonight. If you want to come out to the RT podcast, I'm in it because everybody else in the company said no. So I'll be there. And I'd love to see you. Hey. Somebody is listening and is just like, I gotta go! I don't have time, I gotta go!

Also want to say, you should come to RTX July 7th through 9th. We will have the F*** Face Museum. That will be on the show floor. You can experience, well, I don't want to give away the whole list, but we can say the Port-A the porta potty will be there. And we can say there's going to be a few other things and something you have to see to believe.

That's true. I got some stuff I need to give you probably for that. Absolutely. Yeah, we're going to need everybody's stuff. I have, for instance, I'm looking at Gavin's guilt basket card. That could go up. I got Puss Puss and Owl Owl right here. I got the Thrice to Meet You

is hanging on a hook. I can see it. That's perfect. That's a great one. I haven't even seen that. I got the rock from my backyard. Face rock. Oh, speaking of which,

I know we're ending, but I saw something on social media the other day. I think it was on Reddit. Somebody had a suggestion. You know how pretty soon we're going to dig our six-foot hole, and then we're going to put a USB drive of the episode where we talked about

digging the hole at the bottom of it? Yeah. And just that? Somebody said you should put at the bottom and then place the USB drive on top of it. You should put a Protected by Falcons sign. And I think that's actually a great idea. Because then you dig all the way to the bottom, and then you it and you're like oh shit i found this usb drive i

wonder what's on it oh fuck it's also protected by falcon i don't know yeah here's my only concern jeff if they're a reasonable person they would return the usb drive because it's protected by falcons and they don't want that heat in their life that's well that's almost too much of a threat i'm not i don't want to steal something from a falcon. It's protected by falcons. Listen, maybe they're an Indiana Jones. Maybe they're not scared to fucking throw Costner in the wind and get chased by a giant boulder.

I don't know. They put a different USB drive down and swap it. They carefully portion out a tiny bag of sand that's the exact same weight as the USB drive. Nick's got a good point. Do you think the Sestromming smell would be gone from the port probably by the time it's in the museum? I guess we'll find out.

Didn't you order some of that? Yeah, so it's not going to be here anytime soon. You can't get it. I'm trying to get it in the U.S. Cannot get it in the U.S. It is coming coming from another country and so i'll keep everyone updated as it goes it's also expensive oh for gross how much oh it was like 75 bucks for this tin oh tin of disgusting shit right like gross i can't wait for this bit yeah this is gonna be i think can i say i think there will...

Look, we need to wrap up, but Jeff, I think, will fall to his hubris, and I think it's very exciting to see. Well, it's also going to be, by the sounds of it, in the summer, by the time we do it,

it's going to be the worst time ever. I have no memory of agreeing to do this bit. I guess I did recently. Are you serious? I will do it. I will do it. I'm not opposed to doing it.

Sausage talk, too. Yep. Did I... Is that where... I don't know. I can remember it, but... You had confidence in your flaps. Your nose flaps. I do. I do have... I'm flex opposed to doing it. Did I? Is that where? I don't know. I can remember it, but... You had confidence in your flaps. I do. I'm flexing my flaps right now

while we're talking. Alright, wrap up. Let's go. Alright. Hey, thanks for listening. Hey, come back next week and we'll do it all again. How's that sound? Huh? Alright. Ta-ta. Huh? I just realized Ta-ta. Huh?

I just realized that I shared my icing thing and you guys did not follow up with anything, I don't think. So I just exposed my weirdness. I was on an island of weird. I'll have something next week. Great. All right. Bye. Bye. Hey, guys. Major League fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode

of F*** Face. This isn't a good first episode. Errol Flynn was a badass. Gavin has a secret apple. Jeff wants an NBA team in Austin. The boys talk brahmas. Should we buy Sloppy Joe's a new camera? And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil.

All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face. face.