Regulation Podcast - Pat Gavendail Cinematic Universe // Geoff's Mystery Poop [149]

Episode Date: April 12, 2023

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about fisherman's pie, Halo Infinite push to talk, the preview?, Andrew's mystery, Bourne hiding, Sloppy Joes is down, Eric's life, Andrew's great fall, a new F**kface game, no doorbell, Geoff's mystery poop, poison prices, and making Gavin cry. Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to [e-mail] Come to RTX July 7-9 and witness the F**kface Museum in person! Sponsored by HelloFresh  http://hellofresh.com/face50 and use code face50 and ExpressVPN http://expressvpn.com/face Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a Rooster Teeth production. My name is Jeff Ramsey. With me, as always, Britain's own Gavin Free and the pride of Canada, Andrew Panton. This is episode 149. Behind the scenes, we have Eric and Nick doing whatever it is they do. How's everybody doing today? Good, thanks. I'm doing good. You seem very high energy today, Jeff. I'm in a good mood. I'm in a good mood. I just remembered I have something I want to talk about about British people. British people. Let me put that in my notes real fast. Okay. Is it pie related?

No, no, no, no. That was totally unrelated. I just had never heard of a fisherman's pie. It was fucking disgusting. It was like three different kinds of fish in a brown pie. It was... What if you just want hot fish? Yeah, what if? You just get fish and chips right don't you yeah i feel like that's a much more appetizing way i was watching i was

watching top chef world all-stars last night and the season is in london and they were making pub food and they everybody's seen like shepherd's pie i'm familiar with that one but i was not familiar with the fisherman's pie but i also found out from gail simmons uh that uh in england they serve 300 million portions of fish and chips a year 300 million that's what she said that's essentially like if virtually every person in the united states ate fish and chips once we have like 330 million people so you're saying that if everyone in america really got together for one day, they could output a year's worth of fish and chips. Yeah, but we could do that.

We could bury you guys in pretty much anything in that way, just because of sheer numbers. That feels very American, though. The idea of like one day ever just eating fish and chips and going, fuck yeah, American, number one. We're number one, baby. ever just eating fish and chips and going fuck yeah america number one we're number one baby i've seen fish i missed that part of america you know i listen to a lot of very serious political uh talk radio when i'm not uh listening to very serious reality uh and celebrity gossip uh radio uh and there's been a lot of talking about how pride in America is at an all-time low, and individuality is at an all-time high,

and people care less about the greater good, and the idea of American exceptionalism is kind of gone, and nobody wants to pull together like we did in the World Wars and stuff. Maybe America versus England in a fish and chips off is where we get the ball rolling. I will say, it's funny you bring that up, because I was playing Halo last night. Whoa. And I'm just playing.

I'm just playing. Next thing I know, I'm just playing. What was my damn invite? Where was your damn invite? It was 1 a.m. Do you want me to invite you at 1 a.m. when I'm playing Halo Infinite? What's that? 3 a.m. for me?

It's 3 a.m. for you, to invite you at 1 a.m when i'm playing halo infinite what's that three three a.m for me it's 3 a.m for you yeah uh you did good okay i figured i figured i'd do good um but i was playing and i'm just you know relaxing everything's fine and then i heard people speaking and it caught me so off guard i was shocked because you never nobody speaks in game chat anymore. Yeah. And I was all excited about it because it reminded me of like Halo 3 era. And it was this conversation that was really stupid. I'm like, oh, this is great. I missed this.

And then it immediately turned into them like saying homophobic slur. It just being the worst. It was the worst people. And it was like, oh, no. Yeah, this is what this is. This is this is the other part this is like the uh the nostalgia has been lifted this is what we're dealing with and they were very excited about america in between all the homophobia if they got a kill

they'd be like fucking america american number one they said it several times. They're very excited. They say there's over 300 million slurs online today Oh, yeah, we got it Do you think you can hop on again tonight at about 1 a.m? Catch those kids and then start talking about how much better at fish and chips America is than England So you can start feeding like start seeding it now and then it'll just spread. I don't know I don't know if I'll catch him again but I did it was great it was the perfect you're a fucking idiot and you don't even know it

conclusion where I sabotaged one of them at the end of the game to crash their warthog and they wanted to talk shit to me about it and the last thing they said before the game ended was where is my push to talk button they didn't know that they could be heard

the entire game and they revealed it at the very closing moment I'm like you fucking idiots you guys suck you're the worst I wonder how many that's probably a uniquely American trait there being too fucking dipshit dumb to figure

out if you're broadcasting live uh I wonder how many people are affected by that i would be i wouldn't be surprised if it's a large portion of people who don't know i guess because there are so few people in game chat that you wouldn't realize there's nobody there to tell you that you're there you would have no idea i've played countless games of halo i've never heard anyone talking game chat before i I've probably played like 2000 games. So yeah, if you didn't know, there's no obvious way that would indicate that you are.

Yeah. So I wonder how long they will go before they realize. If they ever will. There might be a new Halo game out before they realize. What if you just started talking? Do you think more people would talk to you? Maybe everyone's just being quiet. Yeah, you think so?

What if I'm just going to talk to myself? What if it's just being quiet yeah you think so like what if i'm just gonna talk to myself what what if it's just time of day what if everybody's being quiet because their partners and their parents are all asleep and they're trying not to wake them up maybe it's like really lively right now at two in the afternoon it could be i guess i don't know maybe we should do some research there is no greater i feel like the xbox party at least on xbox really killed that i mean there's some great i miss some aspects of game chat cultures from like game to game like a gta and saints row game chat is uniquely horrible place that uh i sometimes miss me pop my head into i wish it was a click of a button to switch between party chat and game

chat instead of having to open the freaking thing and then if there was just like a instead of push to talk it was pushed to game chat i would love that that would be great could you take your xbox elite controller and program one of those toggles on the back to do something like that oh that's an interesting i don't know if you can make like macros that'd be that would rule though i'd love to just hop in and out yeah on pc that's how it works you can just hear you don't need to do any adjusting it's just on console you need the party flip but it's always worth it

it's always so great to hear people in game chat in that game Warzone's a great dumb game chat game yeah you're always hopping in just to well I can't do it because I always laugh and give us away hey do you guys have a lot to talk about today I have a little bit can I drop a mystery quickly

because I keep forgetting to I watched so I brought this up like two episodes ago it's not an amazing mystery it just is a weird thing that there is definitely a mystery to I watch is this the doorbell this is not the doorbell it's not an amazing mystery it just is a weird thing that there is definitely a mystery too i watch is this the doorbell this is not the doorbell it's unrelated to doorbell um eric says we don't do a preview we only did it we only did it once and it confused so many people i don't know how to be more clear about what we were doing but did it really confuse people yes yeah i mean a

lot of people got it and went hey that's that's a really clever, funny, witty idea. Congratulations on pulling that off. And a lot of other people went, I don't know. I don't understand. Maybe I made it more confusing, though, because you were, I think, reading, right? And then I just naturally responded to it, but then I couldn't,

because I didn't know what you were going to say, but then I couldn't remember where I said it, and it really freaked me out when you actually said it for real well that was kind of the point right yeah i didn't i didn't expect it to work at least not i feel like i need to if i if i chime in in the preview i need to write down the word to chime in at i and write down what i chimed in with because otherwise i've lost i also for the record i did i i didn't so i knew i was gonna tell a story right the sloppy joe's police story so i just figured i would pull what i thought would be the most like aha moment from it and write it down and so i just wrote like two sentences and i had no idea how i was gonna get to them or how i would

when i got to that area how i would lead into it and then come out of it. And when I got to those two sentences, I was looking at him at that point in the podcast that I had already said on the preview. And I still didn't say it right because within the flow of the conversation, it just didn't work. So I like I totally added and changed. And then I was like, I'm really fucking this up myself. So I wasn't even close to repeating it exactly the way I did. Well, I feel like it was a win. Maybe we should just one and done. Yeah, maybe we leave it at that.

Well, weren't we always one and done-ing this? I didn't understand. We had discussed. We were going to have each of us do one, I think. We had discussed maybe letting each person try it their own different way. Oh, that seems way too much. But yeah, I agree. Not everything needs to be done.

Not everybody needs to do everything once did we fuck that did it that should have played before the intro of the show did did we do that yeah because most or okay we did we didn't have the intro of the show start then that clip then the episode ah who cares well who cares i feel like that's a we're living in the past here i'm just saying it might be on our end if we just did the show music then did the show that way definitely we definitely did that yeah that's exactly how it just fucked up that's how we fucked up i'm pretty sure that's how it came out yeah what's your mystery my mystery is i've been i've been catching i've been watching things i have a huge regret in my life when I was younger. I did the really dumb boy thing of like, oh, that's a girl thing.

I'm not interested in that, even though it's awesome. Like, I did not appreciate boy bands nearly as much as I should have when I was growing up. And it's a huge regret. If I could go back in time, correct one thing, boy bands. Pay attention to boy bands. You're in a great boy band era. Embrace it. Enjoy it. I didn't do that so i've been catching up on like things i missed that were kind of on like

the bubble on my age range and one of them is the high school musical series never watching any of those i've recently finished all three movies i was watching it and whenever i watch a movie whenever there's anything that like kind of grounds it in a weird alternate way i need to pursue it so like a website or business or something so i was watching high school musical three and there is this blatant really weird remax advertising shot like clearly they sponsored it pat gavindale gavindale they're selling a house they're doing that they're doing their thing so i looked into it i couldn't find anything on it but then just randomly i was watching a different movie i was watching be cool which came out like five years earlier

and there's a scene where a person pulls a pat gavindale whoa pat we might be wait and a pat gavindale cinematic universe. These are two completely different movies made by two different companies, but the same realtor... That's a different sign as well. It's got a tilt to the balloon. Yeah. There's a tilt. There's a slight adjustment.

We've gone through eras. I just think this is weird. I can't figure out anything on this, like why they chose this name. Is that where we got our new logo from look at that shit in the top right there's the r right there uh i think we need to engage the audience we need to scour all media and see how many times pat gavindale appears that's exactly what i want i wanted to know if there are any other pat gavindale appearances because i i looked online and i found a website that had one there's a remax

sign and along came polly but it's just top producer where's pat gavindale is pat gavindale the top producer i'm very confused by this wow or they just like changed the thing there's a whole thing so you find how are you finding this one so i just googled i found a website that tracks product placement in in like media and they do like a back catalog of just screenshots and stuff and they had one for a long game poly so i found that one that way i then i looked i found a the remax did like a contest for who is pat gavindale and one of the people replied that they're the realtor that sold the house in bachelor party the tom hanks movie so i wanted to try to talk about this last week and we ran out of time so i watched bachelor party on like last the night before we recorded

last week to prepare pat gavindale's not in that fucking movie. I wasted my time watching Bachelor Party for a reference that never happened and then never talked about it the following day. I had no reason to watch that one I did. I was like, I gotta get this in. Never came up.

Let me ask you a question. Was that your first time seeing Bachelor Party? It was, yeah. First and only. So I was a big fan of that movie when I was a kid, like maybe nine years old. Yeah, I can understand that.

And when you brought it up, I went like, oh, fuck, Bachelor Party, that's a classic. Tom Hanks, that's one of his early... But now it instantly struck me, I bet that movie didn't age well. No, it did not. How badly did it age? It aged really poorly.

I just don't think it's very funny in a general sense. And yeah, it did not age well. Definitely did not age well. Oh my God. Yeah, it's not great. I wouldn't revisit it if I were you. I would kind of, you know, sort of like me and the game lobbies in Halo. Just remember the good parts fondly and do not revisit it and see some of the stuff that still is part of that.

Isn't it interesting though when you watch something that hasn't aged well? I feel like I don't avoid it. It's always quite intriguing like what was acceptable sometimes not that long ago. It's like watching a historical record and it's almost always surprising. I don't avoid stuff either. Yeah, it's not about avoiding it. I'm just saying if you have fond memories

of it, why tarnish that? I don't think you're getting anything out of rewatching Bachelor Party. so if you have a fondness of that memory Just leave it as is don't revisit it You don't need to remember that they crashed a bus into a movie theater the final act for a 3d get like that doesn't You're fine. You're good Just move on but you've been doing a lot of movie reviews So I figured you'd also you'd be a great detective on this case jeff if you if you happen to see a film i'd say between the years 2004 and 2010 that features a pat gavindale sign let me know well i appreciate it andrew i wish you would

have brought this to my attention two weeks ago i did my last movie review last episode two episodes ago i think i haven't I haven't watched a movie since. Oh, no. Well, yeah. What's the point of watching movies if I'm not going to do reviews of them? I will, though. I will, though.

I'm not interested, and to your point about going back and watching Bachelor Party, I've decided I don't want to spend much of my current life revisiting shit that i enjoyed in the past anyway because like i'm discovering through this period of time in music where i'm discovering all these bands that were really good when i was really into music but i just missed them for

whatever reason that there's so much stuff out there that i 2022 you mean yet 2022 is when i started to realize all the music from like 98 to like 2010 I missed uh when I was really into music and going to shows like four days a week and going constantly yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah uh I get I get where I get I get your point anyway um and so I'm I'm making a concerted effort to like to be okay with looking backward i guess condor man would be an exception because i had already seen that but that's for content i'm okay with looking backward and watching old stuff but only old stuff i'd never seen before interesting yeah and i've been really enjoying it i mean that's kind of why i watched that uh

well that's uh that's kind of why i watched that old Polish movie. Up until I quit doing reviews, I'd been watching a lot of movies on Criterion Collection that I had meant to see and never got around to it. It's been a lot of fun. That's great. I've got a movie thing. I talked to Andrew about this. Okay.

I'm going to put this in Slack. Have you seen The Bourne Identity? Yes. Okay, there's this scene. Everyone should watch that. It's a 20-second clip. It's a nice, really long shot. It's an introductory shot.

He's just about to crack on being born and walking down the street. Doesn't this have Run Lola Run in it? Yes. Bam! See that? Nice little touch. See that, Jeff?

No. He vanished. I didn't see it. He vanished. Oh! Now, I thought watching that, that oh that's a nice touch you know he's like a ghost oh shit he's like a little ghost uh he can vanish on demand and i thought i wonder how they did that did they do like it they hide a wipe behind that man and i look closer

he just ducks and runs behind the little truck that goes behind him have a little zoom in on that. You can actually see him running behind it. Alright, I'm looking now. Fucking... Look at that dirty jacket. I'm gonna watch for feet. No, don't watch for feet. I feel like it's the hardest. Just look at the cart.

Yeah, you're right. So then I thought, well, I bet that's, you know, that's just how they did that effect. so then i thought then i thought well i bet that's you know that's just how they did that effect but then i thought what if that is canon what if that isn't matt damon hiding what if jason bourne as the character decided to do that and then i was in just a a weird thought loop of like who's doing that the actor or the character because i love the idea of jason bourne well i i think it has to be in character, right? And I've been thinking about this.

You brought this up like weeks ago. I continuously think about it. I think this is almost like a dark display of how paranoid Jason Bourne is as a person. That he feels he needs to live his life this way. That he's just walking down a street and that there might be somebody who's trying to tail him and he just randomly hops behind a cart but he no reason he must assume that the person tailing him is exactly where the camera is because to everyone else he was like a complete freak that's how heightened his senses are he can even sense the camera yeah if you if you think about it it really is like a, it's kind of a dark revelation on what hell it must be like

to be a high value government assassin. It's like, he's got to live his life that way constantly. You probably, watching Jason Bourne on a Wednesday go to the grocery store and come home, he probably has to take three buses, two taxis, four cars. He probably has two decoy bags of groceries. Like, it's got to be a nightmare to live that way. Do you think it would be a nightmare to be

Jason Bourne's friend? You know, like when you guys all went to the grocery store to buy your smallest item, just how frustrated you would be if one of you just kept disappearing? Or you'd be talking to him in the living room and then suddenly he's the lamp and you're just looking around and don't worry. He's doing ninja rolls down the aisles

and shit. Yeah, I think it would also suck to be Jason Bourne's friends because you're the first person they're going to kill. They come with friends and family.

You're going to be tied up. You're tied up in a fucking warehouse somewhere in Eastern Europe and they're like electrocuting your balls and sending him a video

and he gets there, but not in. Maybe he saves your life, but you still got your balls electrocuted for like 16 hours while he was flying in. I don't think any of that happened across any of the five films. There's five of those, right? The Jason Bourne universe is much larger than those five films. That's true.

I've read, yeah, I've read some of the books. I've only seen three films. There's, well, they did the original trilogy. I think that's what I see. Then there's the Jeremy Renner one. And then they brought Matt Damon back for another one, but I didn't see that one. Yeah, they did that Mission Impossible style thing

where they're like, you know what? We're going to turn Mission Impossible over to Jeremy Renner, except they did it for one movie and said, you know what? We're going to give it back to Matt Damon. And they did the confusing thing Nick just put in the chat, Jason Bournene that's what they called the last entry of the film is just jason bourne so the last one is jason bourne and then the bourne identity it's terrible it's a terrible naming convention huh i gotta see that one is that any good i don't think so it was critically

liked i think it kind of flopped the original, I feel like I enjoy him more every time I see him. I feel like I didn't like him as much as a kid. Really? I really, I remember watching Born Identity in theaters and loving it.

Didn't really care for the second one, liked the third one quite a bit. Third one's great. I guess I can't go back and watch them and that would be betraying that whole fucking spiel I had earlier.

But I remember really enjoying the first, I never saw four and five, but the first two. I want to watch them again and just look out for Jason Bourne hiding behind shit and appearing out of nowhere. Well,

there are many of those scenes, right? Like that's maybe the only moment in the series where he tries to out sneak you the audience member. Yeah. I love that that's there and that you can see that and you can draw that hilarious conclusion yourself because it really is ridiculous. Every time you see a movie

and somebody stands behind a bus and the bus goes by and then they're gone in a pump of smoke like they're fucking batting. And you never see them just running. With a grappling hook. Yeah, you never, yeah. Or when you do see them running,

it's a huge comedic moment, but you know what I mean? Yeah. That's a great point. You never see it from their perspective. Yeah. It's always from the person who's like, oh my God, where did they go?

You never, we've never seen a character do that until now. Yeah. Yeah's always from the person who's like, oh my God, where do they go? You never, we've never seen a character do that until now. Yeah. Yeah, we need more of that. And I feel like nowadays they would just CG that out, fix it,

or do some sort of visual effect. I'm glad they left that in. I'm glad it was all done optically. Yeah. Because what really happens, right,

is like the bus goes by and you just start fucking booking it, running with the bus till you see like an alley you can turn into. And then you got to stand in an alley and catch your breath for 15 minutes, wheeze and go,

ugh, ugh, ugh. And meanwhile, the guy on the other side of the bus is like, the motherfucker vanished. Do you think you could naturally do that? I think I'd be terrible at that. I could do it. I don't think I'd be good at that at all. I think it'd be bad timing of the vehicle. I'd do this shit. I don't think I could naturally do that? I think I'd be terrible at that. I could do it. I don't think I'd be good at that at all.

I think I'd be bad timing of the vehicle. I'd do this shit. I don't think I could do that in real life. Yeah. Gab, you could do it too, right? I give it a damn good go. We should try it. We should.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, that's the next face video, live video we do. Like, put the six foot hole on hold and put throwing fruit on hold. Let's fucking try to escape each other and film it in public. We'll just put one camera on one side of the street and the other person stands on the other side on the street with buses. I would love to see that actually

from the perspective of the people on the bus. I think that would be the best idea. We put Nick on the bus with a camera. Do you think someone could do that with Sloppy Joe's? Like you're watching and then they hide behind a car as it drives by. It would happen very suddenly. Don't get run over though. No, please don't get run over, please.

Guys, I'm glad you brought it up, Eric. We got a fucking Sloppy Joe's conundrum. What do you mean? Hang on. Wait, wait, wait. fucking sloppy joe's conundrum what do you mean hang on wait wait wait before you get into a conundrum we have we're supposed to get together tomorrow and do a sloppy joe's bingo yeah that's why i want to talk to you guys about that uh i would love to get together and do sloppy joe's bingo tomorrow night i hope it sounds like we're not doing it however uh after our episode came out yesterday and it hit the public, Sloppy Joe's webcam went down. And it is still down.

No! It's been down since 4. It's been down since 4.13 p.m. yesterday. No. We're approaching 24 hours. So I don't know that there will be a camera for us to watch. If you go to it, it's just black,

just like the last time. And the inside camera, if you go to that one it just says this camera has been this feed has been removed for breaking terms of service maybe it's because they're playing live music uh cover bands or something i don't know but the outside camera is cut just like it was last time and the other camera so i i didn't get into this with you guys but i found another bar called Rick's Entertainment Center. Well, no. Come on.

Get real. We can't. What are you talking about? I found another bar named Rick's that has another live cam. It's not as good because there's no audio. Boo. But the Rick, I figured out and triangulated it and realized that when you're looking at the Sloppy Joe's cam, it and realized that when you're looking at the Sloppy Joe's cam

across the street where the puke trash can is and where sometimes Rocky stands to take photos of people there is a building with a black awning and under it there's a picture that says shades. On the Rick's cam there's a suspicious looking black

awning at the far right of his cam and I matched it and we brought up two cameras at once to watch cars go back and forth. It is awning at the far right of his cam uh and i matched it and we we we we helped we brought up two cameras at once to watch cars go back and forth it is literally immediately to the left it's the same awning so the rick's cam catches the left side of uh sloppy joes that we don't see albeit with no audio and from a top-down perspective so it's fucking useless but the cameras are located the cameras are both located

on the same building. That camera's located above the other one on Sloppy Joe's. Yeah, I'm saying it's not fun to watch. But that camera's... I'm trying to get to the point

of the idea. I don't understand, Jeff. What are you talking about? That camera is down two. What? Hang on. Why do we do this? What are you talking about?

What the fuck are you talking... So I'm saying it's a large conspiracy. Why? Every day. Get real. I'm just telling you guys that I found a second camera that's located immediately to the left of Sloppy Joe's that's also down. That's all I'm saying. Okay, well, that's...

You pitched that in a way of as an alternative. No, no, there's no alternative. I'm like mad at you, I think. I never way of as an alternative. No, no, there's no alternative. I'm like mad at you, I think. I never said there was an alternative. I'm saying through my research, I discovered another camera that's not as good. I never insinuated I had a workaround. Wait, hang on, hang on. It was implied.

Gavin, did you feel like Jeff was giving an alternative? I feel like it was laid out that way, but I feel like I wasn't as disappointed as you guys. I'm just checking. I figured you were neutral. I wanted to see how you felt. I'm glad you agree. You may have read some of my enthusiasm at being able to fill out the Sloppy Joe's world a little bit more

because now like when you see police sirens off to the left and you don't know what it is, you can go to that other camera and you can't hear it but you can at least get a little more view.

Hang on, the other camera that's also down? When they're up. I'm sure he means when they're up. God damn, Gavin,

is it me or are they being obtuse to be obtuse? I'm just saying you're presenting this like this is something we can do and we can't.

I didn't say anything. Don't love being with that. I'm sorry that for the last 18 hours it's been down, but for the previous five months it was an accessible thing that we've all been talking about and watching it. I assume it'll go up again in the fucking future. God damn.

Okay, apology accepted. Thank you. I was laughing to myself. Jeff has just created a world in which he is Gene Hackman, an enemy of the state, through YouTube. I'm fucking trying to. All the cameras are down. All the kids we got, we're down.

What's on this street? You're mapping out the whole street. I'll tell you this. If Andrew and Eric are going to be snippy little bitches about it, I'm not going to share my fucking knowledge anymore. Gene Hackman's going to keep all of his data to himself. Nobody's being snippy. Gavin doesn't want to get embroiled in this fight, but he is on my side, I guarantee you.

I think I am, and I usually end up on the opposite side to you, Jeff, just because I feel like, well, that's content. That's most of our lives. That's what we do, but I really agree with you on this. Thank you, buddy. What if we just get someone to stand there and live stream it?

Insane. Anyway, I'll keep you guys posted. I didn't want to give you this information before the podcast because I wanted to hear the full reaction in the moment. But if it doesn't come back up, then obviously we can't do Tomorrow Night. I can't believe. Do you think you did that? I think it's

gotta be in relation to the traffic they got. We already saw people strolling into the frame and shouting out which was awesome. And we saw people shouting out and then talking to the bouncers about it, which I'm sure didn't help. I love

the idea that they saw a spike in traffic and just assume something horrible happened and have pulled all the feeds they're like we don't know what this we don't know why this happened but something happened and it probably isn't good because we're sloppy joes nothing great happens outside I'm sorry Jeff that you've lost your feeds uh it's a bummer glad that it you know hey this has led you to mapping out the street yeah I mean I've done a little bit of work so I'm sorry, Jeff, that you've lost your feet. It's a bummer. I'm glad that, you know, hey, this has led you to mapping out the street. Yeah, I mean, I've done a little bit of work because I'm just trying to fill out that world so I can see more angles and stuff.

But last night was definitely a hollow night without my sloppy Joes to watch, I'll be honest with you. Survivor was good, though. I have a question. Survivor's great. Oh, you're going to talk Survivor? No.

No, it's fine. It's good. You should catch up. It's very good. It's real good. I have a question for Eric. Okay. What's going on? About with what?

You just seem like you're spiraling. There's just a lot happening. It's been, you know how people are like, oh, man, it's like a long day. I just been having a long life. Pretty long life oh man, it's like a long day. I've just been having a long life. Pretty long life? Yeah, it's just been a long life. That's what most people want. Yeah.

Yeah, that's what they do. Here's the thing. Here's something that I did. I never really considered it when I was younger. I always figured I'd be dead by 35, so now I'm 36. And this is just sort of like, wow, now I don't know what to do. And so it's just, you know, I'm cruising. I'm doing good.

But, you know, there's just a lot of stuff that comes up. There's a lot of things happening in and out of work. There's just a lot of stuff happening. How can we help? You know, you've been doing a good job of reminding me and saying like, hey, here's this thing. What happened with this thing? That helps a lot. You took a best of face.

Yeah, but it's up now. That helped a lot. Thank you very much. Y'all did a great job. Thank you. And there was a note that was missed on an episode of something. And so that was the thing that I had to drill down on. There's just a lot, you know, there's a lot happening.

No, I don't think you have to put the audio of it out also. Like it's in the episode, Nick had to drill down on it. There's just a lot, you know, there's a lot happening now. I don't think you have to put the audio of it out. Also like it's in the episode, Nick, it's up to you, but there's just a lot, you know, going on.

There's a lot that I'm taking care of and not, you know, in and out of work and it is what it is, but all right. Hey, say lovey. It is what it is. It's such a,

would it, would it help if we like delivered casseroles to your house or something? Ooh, no, I'm not in bereavement. So is there a card, you know, that's like, you know, Would it help if we delivered casseroles to your house or something? Ooh. No, I'm not in bereavement, so. Is there a card? You know, there's like, you know, it's a boy, or sorry for your loss, or get well soon. Is there a sorry that you're alive?

Sorry about your long life. Sorry that you're off the map now. Here's to the end. Hope it comes soon sort of card. Sorry about your life. You succeeded, my condolences. I googled it. I googled it.

That's perfect. That's an amazing card. Oh, that's great. That's an amazing card. Oh, that's great. That's a pretty good card. I wonder if we can do our own take on that and sell a nice gift card. That's a good idea. Like, just sorry. Because it's not even like sorry you're having a hard time.

It's not that I'm necessarily having a hard time. It's just that, you know, every day I wake up. that you know every day i wake up there's a there's a there's a there's a kids in the hall sketch that starts with bruce mcculloch saying every day i wake up and uh people give me shit and that's how my that's how i know my day's begun and that's how that's how it feels truly truly that's how it feels it's just like like, okay. Well, why don't we... I can definitely give you less shit. No, no, no. You guys are fine.

You're like... But why don't you let us know when there's less shit on your table and we can then just go back to normal? Hopefully in the next month, there will be less shit. I like the idea of you noticing that your life is less shitty

and then being like, all right, feel free to make it shitty. All right i'm back give it to me i've got some shit bandwidth hit me it's just that thing and i think i think it's a thing that people deal with in general you know how you have gavin like you'll suddenly have just like weak stretches where you're like what like where am i what am i supposed to be on top of what am i missing like there's stuff where you're like, what, like, where am I? What am I supposed to be on top of? What am I missing? Like there's stuff that you feel like you're dropping the ball on, but it's not like you're necessarily dropping the ball on anything.

There's just so many things from so many different avenues. I get so frustrated when I have free time, like days of free time. And then everything lands at the same time. So I'm like, I seem way busier than i am and then i'm just like exhausted everything's stacking up and then i have more free days afterwards and because i've been so busy i have no idea what to do with my free days because i

feel like oh i should some of it should be spread out but it's all happened and it's it's a very odd way of going through life i think yeah text Yeah. Text me. Yeah. Oh, text. Yeah, we'll text Jeff. We'll go to lunch or something. The thing that I get, and the thing I always point out to my small wife is that it will be,

like what you're saying happens to me in increments where there will be hour spans where I have nothing and I can sit and be, and it's fantastic. But the moment I have nothing and I can sit and be and it's fantastic but the moment I have something in my hands like I'm doing something physically that I need to like pay attention to I get every text message every email and every slack conversation all at once and it's like where was this an hour ago when I had the time to deal with it why is it all in one four minute span

it makes me crazy it makes me so crazy i hate it here's the thing when when jeff when jeff was sending all of our like here's all like these sloppy joes things and all this stuff it was in the middle of like dealing with so much other stuff and my phone was relentlessly getting just videos of hey look at this guy fault yeah but that's not important you can just mute the conversation but that's the thing i have to do that but it's not just you because if it was just you it would be fine it's you and the four other group texts and the four other slack conversations and the two emails and it's just like oh what like you just kind of have to like put it down and be like i don't know what i'm

gonna do and then you have to figure it out from there there should be a feature on the telephone where unless a message is marked as urgent it doesn't come to you when it was sent if you've just received a text in the last half an hour and it's not a part of that conversation it should give it to you in half an hour and then everything's like conveyor belted out to you and there's no like stacking of bullshit it'd be cool if you could like anything marked as non-emergency you could just say like right, I want all my texts to show up 15 minutes after the hour. And then you just get a rush of them in that 50. You have 45.

You have an hour before the next batch. You'd stall it. Yeah. Sounds like working out with like rest periods. Doing high intensity training, but for texts. Well, Eric,

Eric, I sympathize with you. And I've been there, but i'm never gonna stop texting you funny no no no and i'm not asking you to if if it was see here's the thing like with this show it's never gonna be a thing where it bothers me it's just that this is something that is important to me and i care about like so part of this so people are listening we were supposed to be throwing fruit and jeff is supposed to get a baseline for the throwing stuff but I've had so much and I've just been dealing with a lot of stuff this week that I couldn't put it together

in time and I didn't want to do it half-ass I wanted make sure that we do it we're into it and everything um if it ever becomes overwhelming with this show I'll talk to you guys but I never do because this is the thing that I want to put time and energy into. It's all of the other stuff that gets stacked around it. And on top of it, where you go, Oh, I'm in a living hell. And I,

uh, I am truly in a world of my own making and I must live with it. Uh, so it is what it is. Hopefully that will be getting better for you incrementally in the future though. I think it will. I think it will.

Yeah. Wherever you're going, I think it will. I a 4 p.m. late checkout? Just need a nice place to settle in? Enjoy your room upgrade. Wherever you go, we'll go together. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamx. Benefits vary by card. Terms apply.

I'm in a living hell, and I'm in a world of my own making is exactly what I thought when I fell on my sushi container. So I can relate to that. Me and you, Andrew, we're like the same guy. Yeah, exactly. I had a great fall recently. I had a real embarrassing fall. It was not good. In public?

Oh, yeah. Not intending to be in public, but in public in the worst way. I was hungry and it was late at night. And so I ordered a little delivery and i like to i'll wait outside the door because i don't want to interact with the person avoid all social contact as much as possible i wait until they leave and then almost like a cartoon if they place the bag next to the door i will crack the door put my hand out grab the food then close the door very quick it's a very smooth move but this is later at night

and so i was like i don't want to just leave it out there i want to get it as quickly as possible they're in their car they probably won't notice me i was a little too far away from the bag and i i overextended i overreached and i lost my balance and i fell through the door like i knocked the door open and fell through onto the front front pavement area and they saw this so your door opens outwards it opens outwards and so i crack it i bend to grab the thing i'm reaching for it realize it's too far lose my balance do that little thing you know where like you try to recover by taking steps forward yeah and by doing so i bang open the door

which is cracked open and then i just fall so this person is just about to get in their car and then they see a door swing open and be barreling out of it and falling crouch falling you're like jason behind what are you wearing in this just like a shirt and underwear yeah I knew it I knew you were underwear I knew you were underwear it was

I feel like my mental image of you now is permanently like a stumbling Winnie the Pooh yeah yeah same Winnie the Pooh with a glue on mustache is what I see are you okay? And I was so embarrassed. I'm fine, thanks, have a great night, bye.

I ate shit. I ate shit at such a low level. You said I was crouched. It was like such a low fall. Was the food okay? Food was great. Okay. That's about as public as you seem to get, I feel like.

Like three feet outside your front porch. That reminds me of a decide. Did you guys see the new face game? Yeah. Somebody in her community made? That made me so happy. I'll post it. I'll post a link to it.

Somebody... Is it better than Guess Who Might Be Dead? You don't measure your children. They're great games games their own way he's a cog employee number two why don't you measure your made this well you know how are you gonna know how tall they are internally I mean you literally measure them I mean I was excited about being measured but not you don't say which one you like more what's better this is not right you don't rank you don't rank your children although I think that would have been a

better word I've only got one kid but I'm pretty sure all parents do that. Oh, definitely. But you keep it internal. My point is you don't vocalize. No, some families

they make it very obvious like Gavin. That's, hey. I didn't want to bring it up. Yeah, I'm talking about how they clearly like your brother and your sister more than you.

This person made Andrewrew pants pro shitter it's a windows game it's great i haven't been able to play it yet it's you know when i described like trying to balance on the toilet seat that's broken oh like a tony hawk grind yeah like a tony hawk grind it's me on a toilet seat that's sliding around and you need to keep them balanced and the longer they're on the toilet the more shits they and you need to keep them balanced and the longer they're on the toilet the more shits they do i think is the scoring system and if they fall off the game ends but it's really dumb and it's really great wow hey that reminds me of two quick very uh pertinent things uh to what we're talking about right now the first one is uh major league fan

jack recently i i saw him and he told me that he that we should make some sort of a toilet tray that you can eat and put your ipad on while you're sitting on it so that you don't have to worry about spilling your cupcakes and then maybe it like transforms and works in the in the bathtub too which that was a pretty good idea a toilet food tray so you can eat dinner in peace while you're shitting uh Something maybe you should look into. I don't know the layout of your toilet really, so it'd be hard for me to build. He just uses

the toilet while he's in the bathroom. You're not eating on the shitter, are you? No. Yeah, but you could do that. You could also set it on top of the toilet so that it's secure. It's probably got rails around it like a lip so nothing falls. It's just like a more secure place. You just pick it up it up bring your food in just set it right down on top of the toilet if you got to take a dump you pick it up set it on your lap it's uh that way you're not

putting your food directly on your toilet lid like he does sometimes what if you had to live a week with a one-in-one-out rule like you had to take all of your bites on the toilet as poo is coming out that's terrible. That's the worst game. That's the worst game that has been suggested on the show. And then you will remain the same weight constantly throughout the week. I don't think that's how that works. No? No, I don't

think so. I think there might be some issues. Listen, I'm not a doctor. I'm not a scientist. I don't think that's how that works. So, if you're done shitting, do you have to stop eating? Like the second the last poop comes out, you're gonna quit? No, this is terrible. I think so, yeah. I don't think that's how that works so if you're done shitting do you have to stop eating like the second the last poop comes out you're gonna quit this is terrible i think so yeah i don't think you could eat enough and you can only drink while you piss i think you it's like i think it spirals down right because i like that one you can only drink while you piss but with the food one i don't because you're shitting for like what a minute minute and a half

you can only get so much food in your mouth then you gotta stop you're taking less in and then you're shitting less out which then reduces the amount of time that you can take more food in you'll be dead in a week oh you think you would die from that i don't think you could eat i don't the less you eat the less you shit and the less you shit the less you can eat i mean that's just math right there i think one of us should try it right there i think one of us should try it not not it not what no it's oh oh andrew all right no i i'm the only one that's been vocally against this also we're not six i'm not you're not gonna like double dog dare me and then i gotta do it like this is that's not how this works i'm not doing it gavin you seem excited about gavin have you given jeff your toilet paper roll oh we need something i was thinking about.

Oh, not yet. I've got it ready, though. Okay. I also need... I'm waiting for Jeff to give me whatever it is that I need to send to Canada because I want to send your sticks. The next time I see you, I'll give you my thing,

and then we'll work it out. Should we do a dead drop? Like, you have to dig up a bog roll, and then you bury what you want me to send to Andrew? We could definitely do that. We could definitely do that. We could definitely do that. The other thing i wanted to mention because i said it reminded me of two things uh this is one of my notes andrew could we get an update on the doorbell mystery i don't have a doorbell anymore like it's before it was

just the button is gone now everything is gone but i have reported it to the building, so it is possible they took it. So either somebody came back and stole more of my doorbell or the person that runs the building has taken it to replace it. I think it's probably the former, not the latter. Yeah. I mean, I hope it's the building, although it would be funnier if somebody else just came to take more of the doorbell. Should you put up a decoy doorbell and see if they take it? I should booby trap it, right?

Yeah, you should. It should electrocute somebody. Absolutely. Or maybe they push the doorbell and a little blow dart comes out and it shoots them in the side of the neck with a blow dart that makes them fall asleep. And then you can catch them in the act. They'll be snoozing on your front porch i'm i recently

suggested something to you jeff that you didn't seem to respond to i'm disappointed by oh it's relating i'm sorry what was that no i don't you know i don't want to say it but i think i came up with a thing that would be a funny thing against gavin and uh i didn't really go anywhere unfortunately thing against gavin yeah I don't like this. It might still happen. I might have been in the middle of something. You'll have to remind me. I could have been off my game or something.

I'll text you right now. It's a very short thing. Okay. And then you could react to it. While you're doing that, I want to post something in the chat. I have a little mystery of my own I discovered yesterday. Not that I was looking for a mystery, but it found me.

And I was going to see what you guys think about this. I was sitting in my backyard doing what I do for fun now, which is listening to birds. I have a bird ID app on my phone phone and I try to see how many different birds show up in my yard. Are you really running with the most boring, at least interesting person? It's called the Merlin Bird ID and then it sends all of the bird sounds

that it captures to Cornell University so they can track bird migration. I'm getting real... Have you considered just farting into it? While I was sitting in my backyard yesterday, right next to me was this. Well, of course it's too large. It's one fucking photo.

Eric, can you show me? I have too much on me. Please don't give me shit. Thank you. Don't give him shit. Don't give him shit. You said give me nice clothes. Eric, let me know when you're back

because I cannot wait to kick off about this again. Okay. I'm going to put it in Slack. I'm going to put it in Slack. Eric, you're off the hook. God damn. Here's the deal. I have a decent sized backyard and I have a big

fence around it that is impermeable. You guys have seen it. Nothing's getting, there's no animals getting in or out that fence, right? Uh, I also have two dead dogs. They've both been dead.

One's been dead a little over a year. The other one's been dead about eight months. So imagine my surprise when I sat down to record my bird sound yesterday and I see this giant log of shit right in the middle of my backyard i see you guys a picture and here i thought oh that's probably not going to do good they can't really come by i took a photo of it again here it is next to my shoe for scale it's a full-on come on fucking post all right there you go it's a full-on log like i've had a cat it's way bigger than a cat turd.

And also, cats don't just shit in the middle of the yard. They're more demure than that. It's bigger than, like, rabbit pellets. It's about the size of Henry's turds. So I want to know, here's my mystery. How did an animal with an asshole that big get in my backyard, which is locked down like Fort Knox, take a big dump in the middle of the yard, and then where did they go?

Do you think it was an animal? Or could it have possibly been... Remember when you waved that guy back who was leaving for your power? Could it have been him? Could he have been waiting? No, that's the thing. I cut the grass five days ago. So it's been within the last week.

Nobody's been in my backyard but me and Emily in the last week. And I don't think it's her. I know I used to joke that she shit in the backyard. It's like a raccoon or a coyote or something, isn't it? I don't think it's her. I know I used to joke that she's shit in the backyard. It's like a raccoon or a coyote or something, isn't it? I don't think it's... I think it's too big for a raccoon. How big is a possum's anus?

We do have a possum, but my possum is about the size of a big cat. And I've never seen a cat that would be close to that. Like, I'm telling you, that is 50-pound dog shit right there. That is Henry the Bulldog shit.

And I... Emily smooshed it around a little bit it's full of berries so it's clearly a wild animal of some kind she's smooshed it around i like where we're at by the way with our with all the brands here at rooster teeth you got all these like amazing expensive rebrands like you know all good no worries it looks amazing our podcast we can't even post a picture of dog shit in our own chat oh that's the that's the difference between our product well i mean it's not it's clearly not from a dog so whatever that's yeah we can't even it's not dog shit it's the size of dog shit what animal shits the size of a dog i just and and listen with the exception

of domesticated dogs who will shit anywhere, wild animals don't tend to just shit in the open where everybody can see them. It puts them in a point of vulnerability. And cats are very good about cleaning up after themselves. So I just don't know who's shitting in the middle of the yard. It's a very aggressive. Get one of those wildlife night vision cameras. Yeah, I need to.

I have a backyard camera, but it can catch it. Like a security camera, it didn't catch it so i'm gonna uh i'm gonna do that i'm gonna get some sort of a nature camera because somebody is somebody's dropping turds in my yard is there an app that's like the bird cool one but for for turds like a turd call app like you take a photo of it tells you what it is yeah what turd did it it's a great idea andrew i got your text and i'm i'm very into your idea i'm sorry if i didn't seem like i was no that's fine that's fine i was just speaking of your yard i had this thought yesterday because uh you know you're talking about all the cars you're gonna find when you dig if you dig far enough all the different vehicles oh yeah i had a thought i think you guys should do this. It makes me really

happy. You should get a metal detector. You and Gavage should get a metal detector and just go in your backyard and whatever it pings, just dig until you find whatever it is. See if there is a vehicle. I want to find a car. I want to find a hood. Yeah. When we're renting the jackhammer, can we rent a metal detector too?

That's not something that has to be done right now, Eric. We can look into that in a month future future thing down the road whenever things calm down detectors relatively cheap like i don't even where do you where do you rent a metal detector or let's buy one how deep do they go i don't know i think there's probably you could get a shitty one that doesn't go super far and like an insane one i imagine yeah there's probably a range oh man speaking of difference in quality let me ask you guys a question um i was i was uh i was shopping today i need to buy some weed killer and i was i typically buy that at lowe's but i was at walmart looking for cards and so i just thought i'd see how much i'd check the weed killer there and then

i thought i wonder if it's cheaper or more expensive here or at Lowe's. And so I took a picture of it and then I went to Lowe's. And it turns out Walmart weed killer is $2 cheaper than the exact same fucking thing at Lowe's. I guess you're paying a $2 premium to get to shop at Lowe's and not have to shop at Walmart. But when I was in there, I looked and I realized that for the same like one gallon container of weed killer, the prices varied from nine dollars to twenty nine dollars. Can there be that much of a quality difference between poison? Like, is it isn't like the cheaper a liquor is, the more poisonous it is? Like, is cheap poison really worse than expensive poison? It seems like if you're going to cut costs on buying something,

I bought the cheapest fucking poison they had. So should we do a comparison between like top shelf poison and the cheap poison and see if it kills three times as much? Yeah, like, is it like, how do you, like, how do you? It just seems ludicrous to me. I can't imagine that the $9 poison is any worse than the $29 poison. Jeff, you might become a poison guy

because this is exactly how 50 Cent got into vitamin water. That he noticed that there was an expensive like $5 brand and then like a 50 Cent brand. This is your same realization with poison. I think you need to make a premium poison product and just dominate the marketplace. Premium poison product.

Yeah. A five-star poison for your yard. It's like how the guy made Grey Goose Vodka successful. He launched it in the 70s and nobody bought it, so he doubled the price and suddenly everybody wanted it. I'm going to sell a $75 weed killer poison that's just round up in a different container, but it's bespoke

because I'll put some like elderflower in it or something. Is there a maximum amount of poison that can be like what's the parts per million of poison that's at the upper limit of off the shelf poison? We should look into that. Oh that's a great I feel like that's a branding thing

of like oh it's too poisonous to have on shelves type thing. Yeah, like it's at the limit. Yeah. It's the most concentrated poison we are legally allowed to sell you. There has to be because they do that with energy drinks, right? Like there's a certain max amount of caffeine. There should be a certain max amount of poison in your poison products.

Yeah. There has to be a line. There has to be a line. There has to be a line. Like, where do you get cyanide from? Like, who sells that? Let's Google that. Who sells cyanide? Oh, my God.

I don't know. Where can I buy cyanide? Are you on a work computer or a home computer? I'm on my home computer. I'm going to say, here's what I'm going to say. Where can I buy cyanide if my name is Eric Badour? Eric, this is a great podcast to get a VPN sponsor. Just saying.

No kidding. God. Use ExpressVPN and make sure that you look up your poisons. It's not telling me. Apparently it's not. It's just a lot of stuff that is like, what is the most deadly poison on the planet? And a lot of lists,

and it seems like you only really need one. I can't imagine it's changing very much between research. You know what I mean? Yeah. Hey, we should probably wrap up, but Gavin, I said I wanted to say changing very much between research. You know what I mean? Yeah. Hey, we should probably wrap up. But Gavin, I said I wanted to say something about British people today. I've had an observation.

And I wanted to... I spent a lot of my time... I spent a lot of our friendship making fun of you and your country. Yeah. Good-naturedly. Because I love you dearly. And I love going to England. And I love the people. I really do.

I can't... Not there on the food yet. But I love the people. I really do. I can't, not there on the food yet, but I love the people. But I was watching, you know, I told you guys before about that show, The Traders.

Yeah, yes. It was on Peacock. Well, there was an Australian and a UK version and I watched all of the Australian version way better than the US version, by the way. Watching the UK version now,

which is way better than the Australian version, it's definitely the best the UK version now, which is way better than the Australian version, it's definitely the best version of the show. What I want to say, I want to congratulate British people on being in touch with their emotions. After watching the US and the Australian show, where people just reacted very differently, on the

British show, every person on that show cries almost every episode. It's like people are really in touch with their feelings and they're not scared to like express it. As a matter of fact, early on, there was one dude who was kind of acting like a dick and somebody was crying and he was like yelling at them to stop crying that they're being fake and that this is a game and there's no reason to cry.

Literally the next episode, that dude was broken down and wailing and sobbing. Everybody on that show has shown very vocally their emotions. So I just wanted to say congratulations on British people for being comfortable enough in their own skin to cry very publicly. That's cool. The Australians

and the US people weren't doing it. I feel like every time you made me cry, I just ran and hid away so you couldn't see. Well, these people't doing it. I feel like every time you made me cry, I just ran and hid away so you couldn't see. All these people are doing it. Shut up. I never made you cry. I never made you fucking cry. Maybe tears of joy.

Oh, hey, by the way. Actually, I teared up a little bit once because of you. Did you really? Yeah, it was the day I got my green card, and you were so happy for me that I teared up while we were hugging. Oh my god, it was the day I got my green card and you were so happy for me that I teared up while we were hugging. Oh my God,

it was the best day of my life. Are you kidding? Getting to find out that my best friend in the world wasn't going to go away again. You know how much it's, like you always talked about how much it sucked

to go back to England for nine months until you could come back and spend another summer. It was just, it was just as sucky for us. I was so, we were so sad without you.

I'm glad I'm here for good. I am too. Or until I leave. Oh, hey. Nah, never mind. I don't want to make you cry on the podcast. What? I think I wonder.

I could almost make Gavin cry on the podcast right now. Yeah? But I don't know. In what way? Like happy cry? Happy cry? Yeah, I think so. Gavin cry in the podcast right now. Yeah. But I don't know. What way? Like happy cry? Happy cry? Yeah, I think so. Sad cry?

Okay. I mean, it sounds like you're conspiring against me. I'm not. I've been operating under an assumption for a while, and I've never verbalized it to you. I don't think. But Gavin, would you be interested in being my best man? Holy, would I have to do a speech?

If you want to, but I wouldn't make you. Oh, my God. I've never been my best man. Holy, would I have to do a speech? If you want to, but I wouldn't make you. Oh my god. I've never been a best man. I've always considered it to be my worst nightmare. Yeah. But I've always wanted to be it for someone. Why do you think I'm asking you? What about Gus? He's a

very good friend, and he's going to be in my wedding party. And I love him dearly, but it would mean the world to me if you would do it. I'll definitely do it. When is it? What are we doing with this? I'm not going to announce the date. We can probably give details off the podcast.

I didn't mean the date. I mean, bullpuck. Do I have like a month? Do I have a year? What do you think you need to do? It's this year. What do you think? You've got five months, probably. To do what?

What are you worried about? What are you worried about? It's scary. Dude, what's scary about it? I don't want to ruin it. Here's what you have to do. Just wear the nice clothes. Yeah.

Fucking have chat GPT write a speech that's fine i will say though if i had to if i had to best man for anyone i it would be the easiest to do it for you i have so much nice shit to say about you oh well you don't even have to do any of that you just have to be there i don't care if you say anything i don't care if you give a speech or not i i had to do that once for my cousin, and I was very honored and proud and excited to do it, but I understand the stress behind having to write a speech that

encapsulates how much you love and care about somebody in that way, and then recite it in front of a hundred people. I wouldn't ask you to do it if you weren't comfortable with it. I've never been more honored in my life. Oh, thanks, buddy. It's something that I've been wanting to ask you for a long time, and I did not plan on

doing it on camera. I can't believe you did it on the podcast. I was going to buy you a present and take you out to dinner and ask you, but then we got into that whole discussion about crying and heartfelt, and I thought, what better time? I'm going to do my best to hold it together. I think I can do this.

Yeah, you're going to be great. You're going to be awesome. It's going to do my best to hold it together. I think I can do this. Yeah, you're going to be great. You're going to be awesome. It's going to be a relief. It's going to be a relief. Why am I sweating so much? I don't know. I don't understand. I'm just really hot now.

Whew. Whew. Well, you didn't make him. He didn't cry from his eyes, but he's crying from his head, in a sense. His elbows and his underarms. He's crying all over the place. The back of my neck is weeping.

Oh, man. That doesn't have to be content, too. If you're not comfortable, we can cut this part of the episode out or anything. I wasn't doing it for... Okay, I wasn't trying to do it for content. It just seemed like a perfect moment

to dovetail that conversation. And since we never see each other in person, I really don't have many options outside of this podcast. Oh, God. Oh, man.

Oh, one last update uh i just want to just keep you guys informed i went to the mall last week uh still going strong looking good good can you pick up some job application forms for various places i should have i should have seen if they were hired

oh man that would be a dream come true i always wanted to work at a mall so bad when i was younger i also really really really i applied to work at a mall so bad when I was younger. I also really, really, really, I applied to work at a grocery store that everybody in my high school worked at like six times and they just wouldn't fucking hire me. Since I was 15 and the grocery store wouldn't hire me,

I wanted to work at a grocery store. Nothing to make you want something more than not being able to do it. I think it would be so cool to front shelves. I loved it. Yeah, you had so many stories from it. Yeah, and I feel like I've always had the creative mind. I've always liked making content and filming stuff.

I still enjoyed that kind of work. It was therapeutic in a way. It's nice to have a job where you can also think about about shit at the same time yeah highly recommend it i may i maintain that working i mean it's impossible now unless you were in an incredibly niche market but the video store that i worked at for like the year that i worked there was to this day the best job i've ever had i still think about it uh fairly regularly how much fun that was how silly it seemed to be getting paid for doing what i was doing which was essentially making jokes with my friends and drinking under the table and uh trading movies for free pizzas and uh and watching porn

you traded movies for pizza yeah there was a pizza shop in the same uh there was a pizza shop that was in the same like strip mall we were in it's very close yeah so the employee well this was new jersey so the employees of the pizza shop would come over and we'd let them rent all the free movies if we could call them and order a pizza whenever we wanted and then we just walk over and get it or they'd come over and get some movies and drop one off and so we we worked in trade we did that with a little there was a there was a sub shop too that we did that a few times with but it wasn't the same vibe like they had a different management there was a little more on top of stuff and then there was uh there was a tanning salon i think i've mentioned this in

the past it was sebastian box tanning salon the guy from uh warrant i believe is the band he was in and they weren't none of us wanted tans. So we never... We actually had somebody come over and talk about trade with us. And we were like, we're good. I wonder if we could do trades in our current industry. Is there a service that we want? If you wanted plumbing done, could we, the three of us, go to a plumber and just have a conversation in front of him?

Like trading content for his service? Discord Nitro. like trading content for his service? Discord Nitro. Can we stand at the executives of Discord and give them a five minute podcast? I bet that happens. Like I'm sure there's a dude who's an electrician whose buddy is a plumber and they're like,

I'll do all your electric work. You do all my plumbing work. We just, you know, trade back and forth. Or maybe somebody who's like an electrician who's got a buddy who's a mechanic or who knows. Eric wants us to wrap up. Eric, do you think you'll be back on form next week? Give me maybe one more week after that,

and then we'll see. So you think we're week to week? If we're doing an injury designation like a sport, you'd be week to week right now? Definitely week to week right now, yeah. Week to week, okay. If we can compare your mental health to andrew's ankles what percentage are we at i want to say somewhere between 40 and 60 but not put it exactly at 50 okay it's pretty bad

maybe you should that's why and that's why i'm week to week just, just like take the week off. Okay. Speaking of, why don't, wait, wait, why are you saying speaking of? End. I'm going to end it right here. Speaking of week to week,

one of the things I've been doing with the Sloppy Joes videos I've been recording before, before they went down is I've started handling all the falls like NBA accidents

and then trying to evaluate like upper, that's an upper ankle sprain that's two to three weeks and then we're going to do more imaging and trying to like look at everything through the lens of a sports injury it's a lot of fun that guy will be on the bench for at least six weeks like that's that's that's ACL

that's he's out for a year and a half Eric give the give take three responsibilities that you have and distribute them amongst us and then take a week off. Yeah, give them all to Nick. It's not this show in particular. No, I'm talking anything. Give me something that you do.

You want something that I do? Give them a meeting. Give them a meeting. I'm not going to give you a meeting. I'm late for a meeting right now. Oh, shit. We should probably end it then. Yeah, no shit!

Hey, thanks for listening to another episode of F*** Face. I particularly enjoyed this one. I thought it was really heartfelt. I thought it was pretty funny, pretty witty, pretty clever. Very dumb. Hopefully you agreed and you'll tell a friend about it. Also, this is a prime time to be checking out

Rooster Teeth and our YouTube channel. Not only is it Rooster Teeth's 20th anniversary, we've got lots of really fun, special surprises that we've pulled out from the last 20 years to throw at you, but we've also been making a ton of additional supplemental

content. We've got Does It Do's coming out every week. We've got Regulation Animations. We just had Sausage Talk Episode 2 come out. We've got Gavin's Best Of coming out right now. We've got so much stuff coming out, I can't even tell you what's coming out next week. But I definitely would

like you to check out some of this extra content that we've created, because we're pumping it out like, I don't know, like a new mom pumps out breast milk. We'll see you next week. What? Why? Hey, guys.

Major League fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face. Who forgot the intro? Has the Vancouver child kicker struck again? Jeff checks Facebook for the first time in a decade. It's Jeff Ramsey, XFL hero. Eric brings up wrestling. It's time for the erotic 80s. Jeff can take good photos. And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face.