Regulation Podcast - Pizza Day Content // Milky for a Week [130]

Episode Date: November 30, 2022

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about Andrew's little pizzas, when are we meeting up, we know nothing about Andrew, Gavin's great photo uses, Strangerhood, how much for a week of milk, appletiser, Andre...w cutting his own hair, Crisps Gauntlet soon, deep lore about stuffing, Geoff hates Wal Mart, and Andrew in Austin in February? Sponsored by Hello Tushy http://hellotushy.com/face, Better Help http://betterhelp.com/face, and the Rooster Teeth Store https://bit.ly/Fkface_Holiday22 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:01 This is a Rooster Teeth production. Hello and welcome to another episode of the... I didn't like that. Hello and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast. My name is Geoff Ramsey. With me, as always, Andrew Payton and Gavin Free. Go ahead and leave in the failed attempt just so the audience can see a part of the process. We don't get it right 100% of the time, unfortunately. Even though we are professionals with our 10,000 hours, we do occasionally have lackluster intros. This is 130 times we've done this.
Starting point is 00:00:42 How are you guys doing? I'm doing great. Pretty good? Yeah, we just back to back. How are you guys doing? I'm doing great. Yeah, we just back to back. How are you guys? Have you guys had pizza since we I was going to mention that last episode. Last time we talked, we did the pizza. We ate pizza.
Starting point is 00:00:53 I haven't had pizza. Haven't had pizza since then. What about you, Gavin? Yes, I did. How did it compare? Did it rank? Was it worse? Really, really good pizza. That's unfortunate unfortunate i spent literally the rest of that day making little pizzas at my desk i used all the dough i made tiny little pizzas all day it was great i had a fantastic with the seven month expired though with the
Starting point is 00:01:16 seven month expired well you got to consume and once it's unfrozen there's no putting a cork on that seven month bottle it's gone. So does that... I guess you lived. Yeah, that's fine. Zero issues at all. It's just the yeast died. I didn't. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:32 Okay. Eric was freaking out that day because I guess we all didn't realize what we were making when he pulled out all the mic equipment. What do you mean? We all didn't... Are you saying you didn't realize and you're saying we all didn't
Starting point is 00:01:47 realize didn't jeff was like also was like oh i didn't i don't know that was confusion when you brought out all the xlr cables and real bikes what do you mean i think you were confused is that what you mean there's no way jeff wasn't also confused what did you think was being made i mean i i remember there being a conversation about uh that equipment coming to the episode the between eric and nick do you remember the day before gavin a conversation eric had where he set it up with just so we're all on the same page and we can all create a vision for what this is going to be going into it this is what's going to happen then we talked about what would happen and then that happened i just thought that was our setup for showing you
Starting point is 00:02:29 the pizzas i thought that would be like halfway through the pizza video but it's also i guess i didn't realize that was a separate piece like the cosmic crisp review okay ah i see i mean i think we went over that at the time yeah that's fine i thought we were i thought we were really that's fine doesn't matter gavin gavin what can i do in the future eric this is not a you problem this is a me problem but i think it was also a jeff problem briefly yeah but if it was i rolled with the punches very quickly yeah i like I like the way you've posed this where you went, yeah, and then you brought out the equipment and we were all confused. I was sitting at my home going,
Starting point is 00:03:15 what? What is happening? A feed? I have to join and record? I felt so much personal vindication in the recording of that when we found out that Emily stopped recording at one point and missed half the pizza eating. You guys are meant for each other.
Starting point is 00:03:33 It is, apparently, it is easy to hit stop on a phone. Oh, man. How? I don't understand. You can also just look at whether it's filming or not. You don't understand what to do when a microphone comes out. I'm not trusting you.
Starting point is 00:03:47 Well, I know what it's talking. I know what, like, how... Wow. It's impressive. How many podcasts have you done? 600? Confidently say you know what end of speaking to. I just thought it was one video.
Starting point is 00:04:04 Okay. I forgot there was a separate audio p- wait, for some reason we can't ever just go and do something and just make one piece of content from it. Well, I remember I remember you saying very clearly you only wanted to make one video and I think that's all we're making. Yeah. That's all we're making. We're only making one video. But the whole- No, fool. The audio
Starting point is 00:04:20 part where we sit down with all the mics has video! That's why I thought it was gonna be in the middle of the video. That was so genuine. That was such genuine annoyance for you. I don't think I've ever heard you call anyone a fool. No. Fool. Fool is underrated. Oh man.
Starting point is 00:04:42 I was not expecting that. It was like Gavin has had one fastball his entire career and he just threw a knuckle ball at you and took us all off guard. No need for the icy hot this year. Gavin brought it verbally. Fool.
Starting point is 00:05:01 That is a British ass insult. So what I'm saying is now it's two videos. No. I think it's just one. It is because we were filming the part where we were showing you. Well, there's video in the audio part, but I don't think it's two videos. Yeah, just give Nick the video and he'll sync it with the audio and then that's... So when it's on YouTube and there's video of us talking...
Starting point is 00:05:22 I see what you're saying. I see, I see. Okay, I see what you're saying. I see. I see. Okay. I see what you're saying. I think it's audio with a video component. What we've ended up with again is an audio product that has a video in some places. Yeah. Plus the video of making
Starting point is 00:05:35 the pieces. So two pieces of content. It is. Yeah. We all agree. Oh, Nick said he synced everything up. It's incredible. I'll tell you what we have. We have more fucking content. And I, for one, am here for it. I had so much fun making those stupid pizzas with you guys.
Starting point is 00:05:54 I am no longer scared of my pizza oven. It was sort of a pizza oven redemption. Emily and I have been talking about making our own dough and making our own pizzas and maybe not even tearing the thing down and just keeping it up and becoming backyard pizza people. And that wouldn't have happened
Starting point is 00:06:09 if it weren't for last week. That was the goal, right? And you even talked about potentially having a future sausage talk where we just make pizzas and talk sausage at the pizza table. I think it's a great idea. I would love to.
Starting point is 00:06:20 I mean, it's a tool at our disposal now. Yeah, like a sausage talk where we actually talk about sausage. We could do that. Is that the premise? We could get super literal. I kind of hope I notice, Andrew, that it's December now when this comes out. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:33 Have you been here yet? No. Never said I would. I just said it would up until November. Been and gone, my friend. Yeah, it is. But what? I can't go in December? Or January?
Starting point is 00:06:46 Are you blocking me from going? I'm not opposed to going. I just haven't been. When are we meeting up? When are we doing it? When are we going to see each other in real life, for Christ's sake? I don't know where all this aggression is coming from. It's like I called you a fool. I'm so excited to see you.
Starting point is 00:07:01 Here's the deal, Andrew. We have done 130 episodes now of this podcast without seeing each other. We've all seen each other except for you. I'm not convinced you still are real. I will say I won't need an ocean to sneak when we do see as established. I'm going to be sneaky. Maybe I've been there and you don't even know. Think about that.
Starting point is 00:07:23 Can I pose something? Because I was talking to someone about this the other day about how we haven't seen Andrew in person I think we're gonna get together and here's where I'm worried we're gonna get together to see Andrew in person and then Andrew is going to hire someone to be Andrew and then we're still not going to be getting together with Andrew I feel like we could go to him and then a craigslist man will show up and be like hey guys what's up it's me Andrew and it's like no it's not and then he's like wearing a wire it's like in Roxanne yes yeah it's gonna be so I just I really do believe something like that like that's what we're in for no
Starting point is 00:08:05 Um so I am worried. I mean the first hurdle is you're not gonna find my door. That's the first problem That's my door even my door is sneaky even where I live is sneaky. That's so sneaky I am we don't have to find your door if you bring it with you to America Seems like a lot of work typically only travel to carry on like I don't but i check that i think could i travel with my door how much would that cost i mean people travel with surfboards and shit right like i always yeah that's true yeah it's probably less inconvenient yeah just strap a handle on it i'm worried that when we when we all meet up we don't even gonna be able to look each other in the eye yeah i don't know what that means what What do you mean? What are you talking about?
Starting point is 00:08:45 It's going to be weird. Why is it going to be weird? Look, I didn't know you had a giant bushy beard until you told me one day. You didn't know I had a cat. You don't know anything about me. That's not my fault. I don't think that changes if we see you in person. Yeah, but that's a fair point, Andrew.
Starting point is 00:09:02 But you, I think you're underestimating Gavin's natural awkwardness. I have trouble looking him in the eyes in person. It's weird for me to see Gavin and we see each other all the time. Wow. I can look Eric in the eye. You know what?
Starting point is 00:09:21 Did we? Awesome. Man, today has been a fun energy. This has been a real weird one. It has been a weird day. These two episodes are really good. It was just nothing. It was quiet.
Starting point is 00:09:36 I can look Eric in the eye. I was getting ready to ask a question. Did Gavin ever give approval on the photo that he took when we did the Icy Hot thing? Is that going to be shared or not? Do we have a definitive statement on that? Oh, you wanted to make a version where you couldn't see as much lap and thigh? Well, that's the, you know, I didn't know if you were okay with it. I had a few versions of it.
Starting point is 00:09:59 Okay, I'd love to see them. I know this is an audio format, so we won't be too quick. We'll try to describe what we did. So this was the original photo, just as a refresher. People may have already seen it. Which I think is fine, by the way. I do think it's fine, too. It's just a little alarming.
Starting point is 00:10:14 So we have a few options that if you weren't okay with it, Gavin, that we could go with. The first one I did, I thought, let's try to remove as much as we can. So I did just the face. Only the face. How do you feel about that one? Somehow worse, I think. You think it's somehow worse? I agree.
Starting point is 00:10:34 That's great because people could draw in what they think is happening in the photo. I think that's a great idea. They could, yeah. Great contest for the audience. Which is also what I put together. It gave me vibes of that. The scene in the shining when he chops a hole through the door and shoves Similar thanks for leaving my headphones under that one for some yeah, no problem. Well listen. I'm just I'm throwing things together
Starting point is 00:10:59 This isn't a professional operation Gavin We have a few other options that we could go with. This one. This one. Just the knees. Everything else is gone. Only legs. I think that's even better. I feel like that one is uncomfortable.
Starting point is 00:11:16 Unless you've seen the whole picture, you can barely tell what's happening there. Yeah. Maybe it's like a DIY. You have to stitch it together yourself if you really want to see what it looked like. The last one that I'm going to show, I think this is the most disturbing of all of them, personally. I think it leaves the most, I don't know, I guess vulgarity. It's just, it's uncomfortable. It seems like it would be, it's the one I would, oh, it's just the same one. seems like it would be it's the one i would oh it's the same one i'm getting them all mixed up in my log here we go this is the right one
Starting point is 00:11:51 so this is everything from the arms down there's something that just seems bad see partial arms it just feels bad it feels a lot worse than the actual photo is I think that one actually makes it a worse photo Maybe we should use Photoshop to draw around the censored area and do like a content aware fill and see what it comes up with Do you have Photoshop? I don't I can tell Are you Steve I don't have on this computer I used to I don't have it on this computer I'm afraid I don't either So I don't know what we'll go with maybe those will all be public
Starting point is 00:12:29 But I just I wanted to run some options just in case You were I mean I think I'm fine with any Any version okay you want I do like the idea of having to Put it all together Maybe we'll release all those Fuck I don't know The browsers one's gonna come out first, right?
Starting point is 00:12:45 Yeah. That's fine. Oh, man. Andrew, those are so fucking funny. Yeah. I was having fun last night just trying to come up with different options. I wanted to see knees. I wanted to see face.
Starting point is 00:12:57 I think we kind of covered things. And I'm sure people will be creative in their own ways once the photo went out. Did you see some of the Photoshop's people did Jeff of you with the door? The awkward door photo you took when you're at the restaurant? Uh, no, no, I never really paid attention to this.
Starting point is 00:13:14 I'll see if I can find any of them there. I'm sure I probably look super cool. You do. It's great. Um, but yeah, that was, that was the photo photos I put together for the show
Starting point is 00:13:25 I had one other thing I had a strange what should I talk about I got two things okay and what should we'll go with the dollar store I went to the so we watched MVP 2 recently and I was looking at MVP 2 because I was just curious I thought I should own
Starting point is 00:13:42 a copy of it so I have my collection real fast has that come out yet as of the release of this episode, Eric? Fantastic. This will come out the 30th. The 30th. And I think the Monkey movie, if Nick gets the editing, good to go.
Starting point is 00:13:55 That should have been out for a week at this point. Nick, that's right. Oh, okay. I think we're good. I think we're all lined up. Monkey movie, yeah. So as of this, we put out a bunch of Ancelotti content recently.
Starting point is 00:14:11 The Survive Black Island Meltdown recap conversation about all the stuff that wasn't in the show, apparently. The monkey movie. We've recorded the pizza. Probably haven't released that yet. But anyway, just to catch the audience up, make sure everybody's aware of what we've made and where it is. Continue, Andrew.
Starting point is 00:14:24 So I was looking online for copies of it and I found a VHS one that was sealed. It had this big sticker on the front that said, Also, it includes special behind-the-scenes with Bob Burnquist, like a skate segment with him. And I was like, I want to see that. That sounds fantastic. And so I looked at the DVD. It had even more special features. It has a laugh, not a laugh track, a blooper reel uh it has the burn quest thing so i've been trying to find a copy of it but i don't think i'm gonna be able to go into just like a best buy and find mvp2 on dvd i felt like my best chance to find it would be at like a thrift store type of thing so i was looking
Starting point is 00:14:59 i was going all over the thrift store i was like they had so many fucking dvds it took me forever to get through and I didn't find it and that was incredibly disappointing but I think I found something even more obscure which I bought and I'm posting a photo of it right now I found a sealed copy of the first season of the Strangerhood
Starting point is 00:15:19 in the thrift store I went into I can't believe they didn't have MVP2. They did have a sealed copy of Strangerhood. $5. Great buy. Did you get it? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:31 I took a photo of it. I unsealed it to get a sweet coupon. So I can mail in this thing to buy some sweet merch. Got to mail it to Buddha, Texas. Wherever. Where's the... Let me grab... You know, if you paid $5 for that DVD, you probably got ripped off.
Starting point is 00:15:50 I think we were selling it for like $2 on the site before we discontinued it. $5? Maybe we're still selling it for all I know. I don't think you are. That hasn't gone well at all. Is that what you... Oh, Lord. That's what Photoshoposhop thought should be
Starting point is 00:16:05 oh no photoshop made it way too sexy that's uh yeah that's not better yeah well we won't release that one
Starting point is 00:16:14 yeah that's uh that's if you want to know what photoshop thinks gavin's middle looks like you download photoshop and do it yourself
Starting point is 00:16:22 it's not great we're not gonna do that for you so i didn't find mvp2 the other thing i asked jeff and gavin this i'm curious if your answer to this has changed jeff i'd love to hear your response eric but the idea was if they were if it was decided that you could no longer have tap water running through your house but you had to replace it with something else what would you switch it from uh gavin said apple tizer which is a drink i had never heard of jeff at the time you said diet pepsi uh but then brought up a great point of trying to shower with diet pepsi would be
Starting point is 00:16:55 terrible i didn't even think of it in that way i was just thinking of something because to me water is the best beverage it's something it's what i drink the most of it's so convenient it's great so i was curious if you had to flip what would it be you have an answer eric for this man i boy that's tough because i don't really drink i don't really drink soda and soda feels like the natural goat people are gonna be like root beer which is crazy whatever but i don't really drink soda at all um so i want to say dangerous but i want to say like beer or something but then you can't shower that really threw me for a loop the shower thing the shower becomes the problem yeah and and like washing your hands like i could take a shit into beer but then washing your hands when
Starting point is 00:17:39 you're done you know what i mean like yeah no it'd be terrible yeah yeah take a shit into beer yeah you could I mean that would be fine yeah it's yeah I see what you're saying yeah yeah um you think that that was just a fun fact on the side why were you thrown by that for some reason I was just picturing a pint glass so that's disgusting oh no it's terrible fuck I mean I could I could do that okay let's just go purely on taste let's remove all other functionality uh I would see I could. I could do that. Okay, let's just go purely on taste. Let's remove all other functionality. I would see... I think I would have to go with beer, and then I would just have to keep waters in the fridge.
Starting point is 00:18:14 Okay. What do you... For showering? No, we just said for taste only. You're an idiot. You're a fucking fool, Gavin. No, but I want to... Along with what Gavin said, let's go the other route. You do have to fool, Gavin. No, but I want to, but along with what Gavin said,
Starting point is 00:18:25 let's go the other route. Like, you do have to shower with it. So what is the one liquid you would want to shower with the most other than water? Like, water's not available. You got to shower. What's the least offensive liquid
Starting point is 00:18:36 to shower with? Pineapple juice. Tea tree oil. What? Well, that's an oil. Tea tree oil? You're going to shower with oil? You're a freak. Hey, Gavin. Gavin. I think of, that's an oil. Tea tree oil? You're going to start with oil? You're a freak.
Starting point is 00:18:46 Hey, Gavin. What are you talking about? Gavin? I think of something that's shampoo sometimes. You fool. I think it would be iced tea. Unsweetened iced tea. That's the most like water to me.
Starting point is 00:18:58 That's a good one. I feel like I could get clean in iced tea. Old tea smells really gammy. Could you do- I mean, none of these are ideal. Could you do, like, a coconut water? Is that something? Rubbing alcohol.
Starting point is 00:19:11 Rub it. Fuck, Nick, you're nuts. Oh, my God. Nick, you're a fucking maniac. Burn your fucking eyeballs out, dude. Yeah, what the fuck? It's not sticky. His whole thing is that it's not sticky and it's clean.
Starting point is 00:19:22 What a maniac. So many drinks have sugar. You couldn't use any of those for showering. If that's the price to be good at cornhole, I don't want to pay. That's too much for me. Could you do... So I'm thinking like coconut water.
Starting point is 00:19:36 That's something. That's water though. Yeah, it's like stick. No, but it's just from a coconut. It's just coconut juice. It's just like the inside of a coconut. Okay. Man, could you... you oh boy i don't know it's tough i don't think there's a great answer it can't have sugar gav's right it's like you can't have anything sugary pineapple juice would be terrible pineapple juice is so the smell the smell though it's not amazing yeah
Starting point is 00:19:59 uh yeah it'd have to be something unsweetened it'd have to be yeah ice coffee maybe how much how how much would you need if you had to go seven days where so i'm thinking of like oh like replace it with you know what's something that's close to water that being water i'm going the other way now seven days where they just replace all the water coming out of your faucets with whole milk. How much would you have to get paid for that? I mean, Jeff would just never turn on a tap. Ever. You have to. You gotta take a shower.
Starting point is 00:20:32 You can't go somewhere else to shower. You've gotta do your daily stuff. You tell me I gotta brush my teeth with milk? Whole milk. It would ruin your life. Your life would be over. $10 million. Really? I would do it for $ 10 million dollars really i would do it for 10 million dollars you wouldn't do it for nine million dollars no i would i would just i would
Starting point is 00:20:51 i would discuss it with emily you had nine million dollars right in front of you and you'd say no do you know how fucking white milk is do you know how fucking gross milk is uh-huh nine million you'd say no so then what am i doing after that like toweling off am i like washing with a flannel after the milk i can still do that right yeah i mean you can still you know you could do everything else is the same all your other you know showering routines and getting clean is the same but everything is just no more water just for seven days it's whole milk. And I can't use an alternative. No, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:21:27 Yeah, it's it's like if everything you are going to do with water is just replaced with milk. Just for a week, the same just for a week, just seven days. I would do that for like 200 grand, 200 grand for a week. Easy.
Starting point is 00:21:43 Jeff said $10 million. Well, I was agreeing with him and then I realized it wasn't for life. It was just for a week? Easy. Jeff said $10 million. Well, I was agreeing with him, and then I realized it wasn't for life. It was just for a week. Gavin also likes milk. I actively dislike milk. Are you saying you really wouldn't do $9 million for one week of milk?
Starting point is 00:21:59 $9 million? I'll tell you what. I'm going to give you guys the friend discount. I'll do it for $9 million. Wow, so you're telling me that if I showed up with $8 million right now, you would not do it for $8 million? Do you have $8 million? Oh, no, I'm asking you that right now in front of you, you would say no to $8 million for seven measly days of formula.
Starting point is 00:22:22 All right, well, I would do it for $8 grand. Here we go. Absolutely. Is it $8 million in cash? Yes, in cash. Right to you. Tax-free. Government doesn't know about it.
Starting point is 00:22:33 $8 million. Okay, I'll do it for $8 million. Okay, so $7 million. There's no way you would do it. Now, as low as I can go. I've given you guys a 20% discount. That's as far down as I can go. It's a week.
Starting point is 00:22:44 $7 million. That's a million dollars a day can go. It's a week. Seven million. That's a million dollars a day. A little bit more than a million dollars a day. Yeah. I'm lactose intolerant. I would do it for a grand. Let's see how low this one week only milk comes through the taps. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:59 Two grand. Yeah. Can I go out of town on vacation that week? No, no, no, no, no. no you're at home it's a normal week everything's the same it's right i mean i had a week a couple years ago my water was off for like a week and i had no power for four days it's just gonna be like that it's gonna be shitty for a week no it's gonna be milky for a week it's gonna be it's gonna be milky for a week um so you like you like gavin you love to make pasta, as you say, right?
Starting point is 00:23:26 You fucking make pasta all the time. So you would have to boil your noodles in milk. I probably wouldn't make that that week. I probably have a lot of milk-based food. Smoothies? You would just eat cereal. I would have to eat cereal
Starting point is 00:23:43 for seven days. I'd live off of hot chocolate yeah dude hot chocolate's good hot chocolate's good once you wouldn't want it you wouldn't want too much chocolates to rephrase this question jeff would be unwilling to only drink hot chocolate for a week for eight million dollars that would be the minimum amount that's the absurd thing. I somehow ignored the seven days part the first time we were thinking about this. I heard it, but it just didn't go in. This sounds great. I'll do it for $8 million.
Starting point is 00:24:12 Not for $7 million? If you guys want to put that together... Jeff, how would you not do that for a grand a day? How would you not do that for $7,000? Here's how it works, Gav, with you guys. I gotta take a stand at some point, because if I do it for $7, I'll do it for $ some point, because if I do it for seven, I'll do it for six. And if I do it for six, I'll do it for five.
Starting point is 00:24:28 And the next thing you know, the next thing you know, a week from now, I'm paying you guys to have my fucking, all of my water... Sorry, I'm choking to death. I'm paying to have all my water replaced with milk for a week, and somehow I'm paying for it.
Starting point is 00:24:43 No, $8 million firm. I'm going to have a my water replaced with milk for a week and somehow I'm paying for it. No, if you're choking, you should just have a glass of milk. I'm gonna have a glass of Diet Dr. Pepper, which I would replace all of my tap water with for 18 bucks. You're bumping Pepsi. Interesting.
Starting point is 00:24:58 Well, I have, because of this conversation, I'd never heard of Appletizer. I ordered Appletizer. One of the weirdest online store experiences I've ever had. Have you ever had an online store
Starting point is 00:25:08 try to haggle with you? No. So I eBay. Yeah, but that's like a different different thing. This was like just a website that sold imported goods. And so I had to find
Starting point is 00:25:20 because they don't make this in anywhere outside of Europe, I'm assuming in like South Africa. I think I bought it from a South African importedan imported store and they get it they do i got it my cart i put two in and i went to check out put in all my information went to cash out is the last button address all that hit clear then it's a wait wait wait wait wait wait wait how would you like one more can eight percent off offer you eight percent off on this can right now you add one more to your cart before you finalize it i was like this is so weird i've never had this happen it had a timer on it i was on like a shot clock to
Starting point is 00:25:56 like figure out if i wanted one more can or not and uh i was like i don't know maybe i like i love apple drinks maybe i do want three eight percent off i don't i'm gonna I like, I love Apple drinks. Maybe I do want three, 8% off. I don't, I'm going to say no, I'm going to pass on this. So I said, no, thank you. And then another screen popped up and said, okay,
Starting point is 00:26:11 we understand. How about 15% off? Can we entice you to buy it? I've never, we went through two screens. I had a 15% discount. I wanted to take the can at that point, but I needed to see how far we could go like could
Starting point is 00:26:25 i get the 30 by just constantly saying no and uh so i did it again and it just ended it was like okay well your transaction's done i was very sad but they did offer me a 20 off coupon on my next order it was the most bizarre online shopping experience i think i've ever had i love it when people put timers on that shit even though it's yes it doesn't matter everyone for all time do you think you could then go use that 20 discount on more appletini and another purchase and then they'll also offer you the 8 and 15 discount so you get a 15 discount on top of a 20 discount that's a great and get rewarded with a new 20 discount for for your efforts. I'm going to try doing that. You should.
Starting point is 00:27:07 Actually, I'm not going to do that on my computer because it's slow. I don't want to fuck up the recording. Yeah, please. Do it on my phone. I'm going to try this. It's been in my fridge for like two weeks. I've been curious about it. I want to see what this is.
Starting point is 00:27:21 I haven't had it since I was young, but I think it's just a sparkling apple. Yeah, can you describe it? Can you describe it for us, Gavin? I don't know. I don't understand what Appletizer is. It's just like a sparkly apple drink. Appletizer is a nice sparkling apple drink, and if your grandparents offer it to you,
Starting point is 00:27:38 they'll probably call it Appletize for some reason. That's all that's happened in my experience. But I remember liking it. Delicious. Okay. I remember liking it. Delicious. I said that it sounds exactly like Martinelli's. Just foreign Martinelli's, which I am a fan of. Are you going to show us? Yeah, I'm going to.
Starting point is 00:27:57 Ooh, that was good. Gavin, where do you think Appletizer was invented? Oh, I'd say the UK. Oh, you'd be wrong. But you guys do think you're the center of the universe, so that makes sense. It was created in 1966
Starting point is 00:28:12 in the Western Cape of South Africa. So it is actually a South African thing. Yeah. That's cool. Is this fizzy? Should be. Okay.
Starting point is 00:28:24 Oh, my. Come on. Oh, come on. Oh, come on oh come on come on you pour in your lung why would i thought i could do the chuck i thought i was gonna surprise you both with the chug it did not work you chugged you went all in again yeah i'm not gonna say this tastes like i'm gonna pour the whole thing down my god i don't i don't feel like i actually know how it tasted i'm halfway through no shit let's try this you chugged on it oh wow i've got appetizer facts whenever we're past this this kind of sucks oh this is not i mean I mean, it's not like something I would order, but I was saying if I had to have that instead of water, I would probably go with that flavor.
Starting point is 00:29:10 I enjoy it. It's just carbonated apple juice, right? Yeah. It's lovely. But imagine it now, instead of choking on it, imagine it now as like a water substitute if you had to pick one. I definitely prefer the Martinelli's.
Starting point is 00:29:21 Could you shower in it, Andrew? Or would it be really, really sticky? I imagine it's a lot of sugar. Is it very sweet? It's definitely tart. Yeah, it's the sourness to it. Yeah, I could shower in this. It would be very sticky.
Starting point is 00:29:38 I think I would shave my head, though, if I was going to do the shower thing. I feel like any hair, you remove as much hair as possible. Wherever you're going, you better believe American Express will be right there with you. Heading for adventure? We'll help you breeze through security. Meeting friends a world away?
Starting point is 00:30:01 You can use your travel credit. Squeezing every drop out of the last day? How about a 4 p.m. late checkout? Just need a nice place to settle in? Enjoy your room upgrade. Wherever you go, we'll go together. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamx. Benefits vary by card. Terms apply. Do you have hair right now? I do, yeah. How much hair do you have? Several.
Starting point is 00:30:27 Several. Several pieces of hair. Do you have long hair? Parts of it are. What the fuck is that? Do you have a mohawk or something? No, it's different. I have some areas of my hair longer than other areas.
Starting point is 00:30:40 It's kind of annoying. Do you have like a cool shag haircut or something? Well, it's just I got a part of my hair that's longer than the other parts and I keep trimming that part because I'm not ready for a full haircut yet, but the one part of it is too long. You're not seeing your guy?
Starting point is 00:30:53 No, I'm seeing my guy. I want to see the guy, but I don't, you know, I'm trying to space out my haircuts a little bit, so I'm trimming them. You're cutting your own hair? Well, I'm cutting part of my own hair. Okay, so the answer to my question is yes. So the answer is yes, you are cutting your own hair well i'm cutting part of my own hair most of my answer to my question is yes so the answer is yes you are cutting your own hair yeah because it's in
Starting point is 00:31:11 front of my face and it gets in my my eyes so you've just cut a hole in the front of your head that you can see through but the rest well that wouldn't i i'd chop off the part that's longer and then it i think it grows faster than the other parts because the other parts I don't feel like I need cut but that part is an annoyance So I cut it and eventually it will all sync up again, and we'll be good No, I don't want to that seems like an annoyance. I don't need it yet I'm happy with the length of my 90 95 percent of my hair. I'm happy with the length of my 90 95 of my hair i'm happy with the length of so this is five percent so you've just cut that's exactly jeff a hundred percent bruce valanche in my head exactly what i thought a hundred percent i was gonna ask you before you
Starting point is 00:31:58 sent that i was gonna say do you think andrew has a bruce val. Yes. And then you sent the picture. How accurate is that, Andrew? Yeah, it's there. I mean, you wouldn't say I would show up as like a second cousin if this was Ancestry.com on that hair. It's not the same, but they're definitely related. They're in the same ballpark okay close is that why is that why you're not coming here yet because you're waiting
Starting point is 00:32:33 until after your haircut no absolutely not i haven't been invited if you if we invited you today and we booked you a plane ticket for next week, would you get a haircut before you came or would you just roll with what you have? I'd have to see the availability of my guy. You'd be interested in getting a haircut, though. You'd consider it. I would consider it, yeah. When is this flight?
Starting point is 00:32:58 It's next Wednesday. Wednesday? I don't know if he's open on weekends, like Sumius Friday. I'd have to leave on Tuesday just to get to Vancouver that's a lot of time yeah now I think uh I think I at this point I wouldn't get a haircut off this conversation well that's where I would stand sorry I had a burp that was like hitting me every inch of the way up. Like it was like a pinball.
Starting point is 00:33:25 It was just bouncing left and right up the throat. And I just couldn't. I was like trying to bob and weave it out of my body. That was terrible. So apple tie is out of 10? Out of 10? Probably like a 5.5. Okay, but what about as a water substitute in all your faucets?
Starting point is 00:33:42 I'd rather have whole milk and just make chocolate milk all week. Would it taste better if it was made out of a Cosmic Crisp apple? Absolutely. Okay. Should we carbonate our Cosmic Crisp apple juice? Yes. Yes, I think we should. Should we? How hard is it to make your own apple juice?
Starting point is 00:33:59 That's too gross. You just press apples out. Right, yeah, right. Then maybe sieve it. Then maybe put it in a soda stream. I thought you wanted Jeff gross you just press apples out right yeah right would you do that then maybe sieve it then maybe put it in a soda stream i thought you wanted jeff to use the apple that's been in his fridge for almost a year and to put that in a cup and then like soda stream the cup i thought that's what you meant by that apple is poison i will touch it to my tongue but that's about as far as we're gonna get with it uh and i think i still have a couple months to go on that. I'm not sure. I have
Starting point is 00:34:25 an answer for your apple ties thing though, Gavin. In 1979, the Coca-Cola company purchased 50% stake in apple tizer, and I think that's when it was brought over to the UK. Somewhere between like 69 and 79.
Starting point is 00:34:41 Then they launched red and white grape tizer, but then it had to be relaunched in the UK as Apple Ties due to complaints of the owners of the Tizer brand of soft drink, which I guess already existed in the UK. So it's actually called Apple Ties?
Starting point is 00:34:58 Well, the saga's not over. So it was actually called Apple Ties in the UK until 2001 after lengthy negotiations. The makers of Tizer So it was actually called Apple Ties in the UK until 2001. After lengthy negotiations, the makers of Tizer allowed the R to be added to UK branding again. So then they reclaimed the name in 2001 and were then able to rebrand it as Apple Tizer. That explains so much about my childhood. There you go. I could never figure out why everyone was calling it Apple Ties when it had an R on it.
Starting point is 00:35:24 Because until 2001, they were forced was calling it Apple Ties when it had an R on it. Because until 2001, they were forced to call it Apple Ties, even though probably in South Africa and apparently it's a big export of Japan and also Spain. That's phenomenal. There it was probably Ties for the whole time. Yeah, there you go.
Starting point is 00:35:38 That's your answer. Why didn't every little copyright issue, they should have just taken off the last letter? Like, you know how Star Fox in the UK is called Star Wing? Mm-hmm. Should have just been called Starfo. Starfo.
Starting point is 00:35:50 Yeah. Have you ever had Tizer before? Do you know what that is? T-I-Z-E-R? I don't know. What's in it? It is a red-colored, citrus-flavored soft drink bottled in Cumbernauld
Starting point is 00:36:03 and sold in the United Kingdom. The name originally comes from the phrase Tizer the Appetizer. It was launched in 1924 when it was known as a pickup appetizer. Whatever the fuck that means. In 2007, the company stopped using
Starting point is 00:36:19 Ed the Head as the mascot. You don't remember Ed the Head in England? I feel like I've heard the name. I feel like Ed the Head as a wrestler you don't remember ed the head in england i feel like i've heard the name i feel like ed the head is a wrestler eric would know a lot about in a car at open extreme he'd have all the facts and ed the head ed the head tizer oh weird it looks like it's it's more like a max headroom than anything else i've never seen this before but it looks like something that came out in 1994 with this guy's face it looks like it's the most like what's up gen x kind of look to a can it's really something uh that's fantastic let me fucking too powerful yeah it was too
Starting point is 00:37:01 powerful for the fucking internet eric i gonna buy us oh oh i'm sorry were you saying something about me oh that's interesting you said that you were gonna get yeah and finance still will not clear my card to buy nitro for this server um all right you can tell it's tizer time when your eyes are shut. What? That's a fucking... What? Hold on. Add the head. Oh, it just took me to Iron Maiden. Is that an Elton John looking man it looks like you both in a photo of?
Starting point is 00:37:33 I think he's meant to look like Elton John. I don't think it is actually Elton John. No, it's definitely not Elton John. You can tell it's Tizer when your eyes are shut. Whatever the fuck that means. I guess it's a distinctive taste. Yeah, it's like so good you gotta close your eyes to drink it. Interesting.
Starting point is 00:37:49 No, I don't think I've ever had that. We need to get... We need to be on a mission to get Tizer. Probably easy to find. Buy it on Amazon right now. I think it's about time we do our crisp gauntlet. Crisp gauntlet? What do you mean by that?
Starting point is 00:38:05 Oh, yeah, we need crisps. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Chips, crisps. I was confused. You okay, Jeff? Yeah, it just reminds me of something I wrote down
Starting point is 00:38:18 that I wanted to talk to you guys about. Yeah, I want to hear your notes. We're 40 minutes into this. We got to go through your notes. I had a dream. I had a dream idea, and I don't know if it's good or not. Well, first off, here's my notes. We're 40 minutes into this. We got to go through your notes. I had a dream. I had a dream idea and I don't know if it's good or not. Well, first off, here's my
Starting point is 00:38:27 notes. Okay. Fuck Walmart. VCK VCK mouse pad update. I wanted to hear if Gavin started using it yet and what that's like. I was going to talk about weird sports and that idea you and I had maybe Andrew, but we can hold that off for whenever.
Starting point is 00:38:44 Oh, yeah. So the dream idea I had was we should... I like how the community makes these albums, and I just think that's so really cool and creative. And I was trying to think of other creative ways that we could create content together or create something together. And I was thinking about when I was in the army, early on in the army, on holidays when soldiers were too poor to go home,
Starting point is 00:39:10 we would all like get together in the common area of the barracks or whatever. And everybody would have like one recipe that was like their family recipe. And we'd make like a Thanksgiving dinner for all the like wayward people that didn't have the money to go home to see their families.
Starting point is 00:39:23 Or in some cases just didn't have family to go home to. and you'd have like kind of like a potluck thanksgiving dinner and i know thanksgiving is a pretty american thing which is why i'm the fence about talking about i know you guys have a thanksgiving in in canada andrew but it's different and then gavin the whole point of thanksgiving is that we were saying thanks for not being england anymore um so i imagine you imagine you people don't probably don't celebrate it as much. Fourth of July, also not a huge one for us. Yeah. I cannot find
Starting point is 00:39:52 Tizer on Amazon, so we're going to have to do some work to get to Tizer. But I had this idea of maybe everybody we could put together a community sourced cookbook where everybody submits their Thanksgiving ideas for like, oh, there's my family's cranberry recipe or whatever. I think we could call it deep lore about
Starting point is 00:40:08 stuffing. Oh, I love it. That's fantastic. That's my idea. Deep lore. I hope there's no stuffing recipes in it. That's even better. Or it's just stuffing recipes.
Starting point is 00:40:25 Or it's just stuffing. Yeah, it's either or. There's no middle. I was trying to figure out how to work this into a bit. And my other idea was we all come up with five stuffing recipes and then we throw them into a hat. And then everybody pulls one and you have to make that stuffing recipe
Starting point is 00:40:38 and it can't be your own. And then we have to make each other stuffing recipes and then, you know, I don't know. Then we all eat them and see who we like the best. Do we just eat the stuffing or do we eat them as a part, you know, I don't know. Then we all eat them and see who we like the best. Do we just eat the stuffing or do we eat them as a part of a meal? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:40:49 I think it's up for debate. I'm more into the name Deep Lore About Stuffing. That was the dream part. That was the part that I woke up and went, I just came up with the best name ever
Starting point is 00:40:58 for content in my dream and I woke up with Deep Lore About Stuffing. Yeah. Are we, so do we want to do this the next time we record? Is that our deep lore about stuffing?
Starting point is 00:41:07 Because it'll be around Thanksgiving. It'll be our Thanksgiving episode. I think if everybody went home, because what, we're not going to record next week, and we're probably not going to record the following week, but we may on an off day. But at a minimum, we have a week or so that we could all just come up with a stuffing recipe
Starting point is 00:41:26 it doesn't have to be you don't have to invent it just come up you know figure like talk to your family see if they have a family stuffing recipe or just make your own up or find one and i don't know better homes and gardens or whatever that you like uh but it's it's an idea i don't know i would like to do it i think it's a great idea we don't even necessarily need to like obviously be made by the time but we could talk about eating the stuffings yeah it. I think it's a great idea. We don't even necessarily need to, like, obviously be made by the time, but we could talk about eating the stuffings. Yeah. And it seems like a fun thing that they could do.
Starting point is 00:41:50 It's not like a product we'd sell or anything. No. Maybe a channel on the Discord server where everybody just shares their holiday recipes or something like that. Deep lore about stuffing. Which, by the way, you guys responded way more positively
Starting point is 00:42:04 to the name than Emily did. It's a great name. She was like, okay. Oh, it's fantastic. I'm excited. I'm going to look into stuff. As soon as we're done recording, I'm going into stuffing books. I feel like stuffing is one of those things that everybody loves, but you don't think about.
Starting point is 00:42:22 It just shows up. It's like, oh, yeah, there's a stuffing. but you just but you don't think about it just shows up it's like oh yeah there's a stuffing uh i just feel like there's probably a lot of a lot of room for like some real stuffing creativity i think so and it kind of goes back to the roots i think unlike other previous uh invent your own uh food related item we're all clear on what a stuffing is there'll be no disputes in that regard yeah i think this will go great. Like, here's what, and some people call it dressings.
Starting point is 00:42:50 Some people call it stuffing. At its most basic level, it's just, because I don't know. Because Gavin is not, not American, I know. Well, we have stuffing in Christmas. Oh, you do.
Starting point is 00:43:02 You do. Okay, cool. Because it just looks like, God damn, everything is too powerful. I can't even show a picture of fucking stovetop stuffing. Do you know how much Nitro is, by the way? Three bucks a month. Eric can't get approved for three bucks. Listen, it's not Eric.
Starting point is 00:43:15 Eric's trying. Just some sort of credit card snafu. Three bucks a month. I would fucking personally pay three bucks a month to be able to send stovetop stuff. I'd have milk coming out of my taps for a week just to get nitro. So anyway, that's my idea for a fun little holiday thing we could do.
Starting point is 00:43:38 And then my only other note was just fuck Walmart, dude. Just fucking fuck Walmart. Hey, you been to Walmart recently? I'm not a Walmart fan, but I go there from time to time because they sell cards, you know? And so sometimes you get lucky and get a pack of Prism
Starting point is 00:43:52 or like a blaster of Prism. And then during the whole Alphabet thing, Walmart, they just have a lot of variety, right? And so I was going to Walmart. That's where I got like the Utz chip or the Utz cheese balls and then the Uftust pizza and the Uti Utis and all that stuff.
Starting point is 00:44:10 And so I've been like going to Walmart lately. And I remembered why I stopped going to Walmart. I can't fucking stand any store on earth that treats 100% of their customers like criminals. It's fucking bullshit that I can walk in and pick up a 24-pack of Diet Dr. Pepper and then
Starting point is 00:44:32 go to a checkout where I'm six feet away from a lady who's standing at the exit who's watching me buy one 24-pack of Diet Dr. Pepper. I know she's watching me because we're making eye contact. And then I pay for it,
Starting point is 00:44:46 and then they give me a fucking paper receipt, which is, I don't know why we still need those. And then I have to walk up to that lady, and if I try to walk out past her, she puts her hands out and stops me and looks at the receipt and then studies it slowly and then looks at the 24-pack of Diet Dr. Pepper and then looks at it again and then decides I'm cleared.
Starting point is 00:45:04 Like, she's like, okay, you're clear to go. And I understand that it's a job, and people need to do the job, and we need to have jobs for people, and I'm sure, you know, I appreciate that she's doing it, but fucking, like, have some common sense here. You watched me buy the goddamn Diet Dr. Pepper
Starting point is 00:45:22 a foot and a half away from you. Like, I could, you could probably smell my cologne were so close. Like, don't make me go through, like I'm trying to leave, I'm trying to sneak out of Fort Knox with a gold bar.
Starting point is 00:45:34 Jesus fucking Christ, it's Diet Dr. Pepper. It's not even, I'm holding it in my hand, it's not even in a bag because it's one thing. Why do we have to pour over the fucking paper like she's
Starting point is 00:45:45 grading a test so you went in you you grabbed the thing of diet dr pepper you bought the diet dr pepper and then you left that's the only item yes it's that's what's strange about mart and buy anything come on to test this out strange they treat you like a goddamn criminal well no the it's a strange implication because you have one item and you can see that you only have one item. So if you're looking at the receipt, if you stole something, it wouldn't be there.
Starting point is 00:46:13 It's almost like she was validating. It was like she was shocked that you came in only for Dr. Pepper. You must have attempted to buy something else and you have left it behind. Is it because people who steal are more likely to buy just a single item to
Starting point is 00:46:27 warrant just like a trip through the checkout? It's what it is is they don't trust their customers and they treat their customers like shit. Didn't Fry's used to always do that? They make you verify that you bought the thing before you can leave. Like you're going through fucking security.
Starting point is 00:46:43 Like there's a rope and they have to check out and they open the rope and let you leave. Like you're going through fucking security. Like they're going to, like there's a rope and they have to like, they go like, yep, checks out and they open the rope and let you leave. It's fucking stupid and Fry's did it too
Starting point is 00:46:50 and guess what? There ain't any Fry's around anymore. Oh, I loved Fry's. We at Waitrose, the supermarket I worked at, we were told never to like intercept thieves. We just weren't allowed
Starting point is 00:47:01 to like interact with them. I guess more likely to get in trouble and sued if you like injure them trying to get stuff off them. And a lot of the customers knew this, like some people would just walk in and just like grab a bottle of vodka and just hold it over their head as they walked out and just be like, taking it.
Starting point is 00:47:16 And we would just have to be like, we didn't have to like get them much earlier, like intimidate them. They'd have to like send managers to stand near them. But if they managed to somehow get like passed out of their aisle they would just openly steal and the police wouldn't ever come and it'd be like okay like it was it was kind of i don't know that's funny i get it was kind of impressive i get that theft is a problem and that the the store has to protect themselves but you can't assuming that every single person who buys something in their store
Starting point is 00:47:47 from the age of five to 85 is a hardened criminal who you have to verify their purchases 100% of the time, it's just, it's not a way to do business. And it reminds me why I stopped. I stopped going to Walmart because of this, because I got into a fucking fight
Starting point is 00:48:03 with a security guard when I was 19 years old because I had the audacity to buy a record player. And the guy and the guy like I almost got into a physical altercation with the guy. And he fucking threatened me because he's just like standing. And I get it. I was 19. I was I was this 19 year old, like goofy punk rock kid. I looked like a criminal, which is why I had a little bit of patience. But the guy's like standing at the receipt and he's looking at the record player and i'm like if you're having trouble
Starting point is 00:48:26 reading it i can help you with any of the harder words and he like scowls at me and i'm like no seriously it seems like you're you're having some issues here uh just let me point out what you don't get and i'll tell you and then he like yelled at me and then i yelled at him and then like somebody else had to get involved it was a whole thing and i was just like fuck it i'm not going back to walmart ever again and i i stayed pretty true to that for about 20 years. And now I'm wishing I had stuck to my ground because they're still doing the same bullshit. They were doing it in 1995
Starting point is 00:48:51 and they're doing it in 2022. And I hate it. I want to go and see if it's a you thing. I don't remember the last time I was in a Walmart. It must have been five years ago or something. But I want to go and buy something and see if I get stopped. Yeah, I don't think I've ever been stopped, but it's a Canadian thing. They're the greeters, famously. Yeah, they got greeters.
Starting point is 00:49:08 Love the greeters. Greeters are great. Love the greeters. I don't think I've ever been checked. They welcome you into the store and then they say, fuck you on the way out. It's like, welcome to Walmart. Have a great day shopping. And on the way out, they're like, hey, fuck you, you criminal. Don't come back.
Starting point is 00:49:23 What am I buying? Just a 24-pack of drink or something buy it buy a 24 pack buy a 12 pack but i don't give a shit buy anything buy a candy bar and then watch them treat you like you're like you're trying to fucking rob a liquor store now you seem to be against the paper receipt i'm a big fan of the paper receipt personally because sometimes i'm gonna be honest i feel like i if i go into a store right let's say i go into a drug store and i buy a 500 milliliter bottle of soda i then go into a grocery store if i don't have a receipt for that bottle i feel like i'm living dangerously i feel like everyone's gonna assume that i'm stealing it why are you bringing new merchandise into stores?
Starting point is 00:50:06 Sometimes you chain your stores, don't you? Yeah. Yeah, like sometimes I'm going into... I would just leave it in the car, I guess. No, yeah, they're right next to each other. I'm not going to go all the way back to the car to put one bottle in the car and then go back in and get groceries. I might go into one place because they have...
Starting point is 00:50:20 Nerds gummies is something that is not everywhere. Very important, essential item. I don't just mean like handheld things that even if they don't have in their inventory i just feel like oh this looks i feel like i'm being sneaky i just feel like most stores have a camera so you can they can see you walking in with it yeah yeah but like who is that that just feels like a lot of people having to have a talk over something like it's not actually a concern like nobody's ever gonna stop me i don't think but it's just in my head i'm always like oh and that's why you're a receipt guy that's why i'm a receipt guy i like having having the thing but this could also be influenced by the fact i had those shorts that would set off the the alarm i actually completely understand that reasoning i
Starting point is 00:51:00 think that makes total sense andrew i'll say that in the way I frequent stores, that never comes up. Very, very rarely comes up. But I'm a big fan of the no receipt button. Yeah, that's great. I would much rather not print more paper into the world. Well, you're lucky you had that receipt, Jeff, because I believe their policy is if you don't and you go there, you have to do a lie detector test right outside the door,
Starting point is 00:51:30 right in the front. If they can't check that dude it's a way more extensive process that's why i keep a penny in my shoe at all times just in case i have to do an impromptu lie detector i don't know if you know this but if you like put a penny under your big toe and focus on it supposedly you can pass any lie detector oh i always heard it was like a pin that like you had to do something to like i've never heard the penny yeah i've heard like a penny like you just like focus on the penny and like touch it with your foot and like i don't know i don't know why but that's a fascinating what a weird concept of like having a device that could tell when someone's lying well apparently it doesn't work very fucking well because they're all inadmissible in all courts yes could you imagine having to rely on a playstation to prove your innocence like just
Starting point is 00:52:08 as like the idea of like a piece of tech being the thing like an absurd idea it shouldn't ever be used as an only metric especially considering you're not even really relying on the machine as much as how somebody interprets a bunch of squiggly lines on a machine. They're like, I don't know. These lines, they go up and then they go down and that tells me you're lying. It's like, what other direction do they go? Well, they only go up and down. Do they ever go just flat?
Starting point is 00:52:35 No, no, they don't do that. They always go up and down. So they're going up and down, but I'm lying, but they're going up and down and he's not lying. And they're like, yeah, totally. Can you imagine if they designed it so up and down meant you were telling the truth?
Starting point is 00:52:48 Like the machines as the baseline are constantly going up and down? What's the baseline? How do they know that a machine is working? What do they ask you some questions like some basic like, what's your name? What what color is this? And I don't know. Wouldn't you just lie about those baseline questions just to throw the whole thing out of whack you could i guess theoretically but i don't know i've never taken a polygraph before i haven't either i feel like
Starting point is 00:53:15 i've only seen it in crime shows and they don't really go into the specifics of how that works like an a and e middle of the day murder type show. They always have the scene where it's like a montage of what it looks like, but you never see anyone actually use it. It's just weird. It's a weird device. Hey, as we're wrapping up, and I realize because we're recording this a bit in advance
Starting point is 00:53:35 because of vacations and holidays and stuff, do you guys think Eric is good at Frisbee yet? I bet we've already filmed him throw. Okay. So probably. He's probably better today than he was before the previous episode. That's good. Why don't we fly Andrew in for the f*** face Winter Olympics?
Starting point is 00:53:51 Okay. I need time. You need time? If I'm going to compete, I need time. To get a haircut? To train, yeah. No, to train, I got to get my darts down. If I'm representing my country, I take that very seriously, Eric.
Starting point is 00:54:04 Okay? I need to practice some cornhole. We've got three countries. I my darts down. If I'm representing my country, I take that very seriously, Eric. Okay. I need to practice some. We've got three countries. I need darts. My darts average is terrible. As my belief, I've got zero dart confidence. Yeah, but Canada can't postpone the Olympics
Starting point is 00:54:16 when the Olympics. That is true. That is true. Oh, you watch it. You watch it right now. It's happening. We give you the date that if you want to enter your country.
Starting point is 00:54:26 Yeah, but the Olympics also don't say they're happening next week, Gavin. There's four years. You need to wait four years? You have time to train. Honestly, Andrew would make it last four years. If he could not come here for four years, that's what we'd be waiting on.
Starting point is 00:54:40 Okay, okay. Well, Andrew, how much time do you need so that we can put this on the books and get the flights worked out? How much time do you need so that we can put this on the books and get the flights worked out? How much time do you need to prepare to get ready for the F*** Face Olympics? I will say it's different on home turf. Which I gotta say.
Starting point is 00:54:52 Last I heard, crabbing. You're coming to crabbing at some point. Thank you, Brian. I'm coming crabbing for a bachelor party. I'm not coming crabby. I'll probably be crabby. I'm not coming crabbing to do the Olympics. Those are two different trips. Could crabbing be an Olympic event?
Starting point is 00:55:08 Maybe. What if you had to be in Austin on the 15th of December? No. No, I can't do that. It's over a month away. I can't do that. How about February? What can't you do about it? It's my mom's birthday, December 15th.
Starting point is 00:55:22 Oh, shit. How about mid-February? Because I'm busy in'm gonna be oh shit how about mid-february because i'm busy in a lot of january how about mid-february can you come in february february yeah yeah no i have no plans on mid-february yeah let's just put it on the hang on let's hang on hang on that wasn't a yes that was i have no plans in february andrew can you commit to coming in february i'm just trying to remember everything Gavin says when he's scheduling anything at this show. Yeah. I'll just say
Starting point is 00:55:50 yes and then I'll say no as soon as we're done. Yes. You are... Doesn't it suck, Gavin? Isn't it annoying? I was actually at Monkey Movie. I was actually at Pizza Making. I didn't say maybe in you know next
Starting point is 00:56:08 quarter it was like a week away I'll be in the Olympics you guys are gonna hold the Olympics you're like Andrew never showed then you're gonna realize all the fucking gold medals are gone sneaking into coming in I can take them all and go it's gonna cut to me in the plane like
Starting point is 00:56:24 MVP I'm just sitting there with nine medals around me we have until And that's been all I got my back. OK, it's going to cut to me in the plane like MVP. I'm just sitting there with nine medals around me. We have until February to figure out what the Olympics are. I feel like they definitely have axe throwing. They definitely have cornhole. They definitely have darts. What are they? Definitely have Frisbee distance.
Starting point is 00:56:43 The Frisbee put these sound miserable to play in winter by the way yeah well you know it depends on which week in February it is it's either going to be 70 or 30 true we'll go for late February
Starting point is 00:56:52 we should be fine and then we can so we can work on any more this gives us time to get medals made for all the events and then an overall medal
Starting point is 00:56:59 this gives us time to get uniforms worked out this is good I think pushing it to February not even pushing it to February just settling on February allows us some time to get uniforms worked out. This is good. I think pushing it to February, not even pushing it to February, just settling on February allows us some time to do some legitimate planning.
Starting point is 00:57:10 I like it. But we are committing to doing, how often do the F*** Face Olympics happen? Which, by the way, I was shitting on the name F*** Face last episode. Saying F*** Face Olympics is the funniest thing in the world to me. So I'm back on board with the name of our podcast. I think we can decide that after.
Starting point is 00:57:27 Every four years? That seems like too infrequent for a podcast. What if we did every three years? Because there's an Olympics every two. What about every other time Andrew gets a haircut? That's too often. How about every year? I think once a year is good because you can do winter and then you can do summer.
Starting point is 00:57:49 I agree. Remember how often the freaking Minecraft fishing jamboree comes around? It'll be that. It'll be like, oh, how's it already the fishing jamboree again? How about every 20 months? Now, I will say that what we do for Face Jam is we have something called Jamsgiving, which is just like Thanksgiving, except it's just whatever we say it is. So it's a lot looser. It's just something to think about.
Starting point is 00:58:12 Are you competing with deep lore about stuffing? No. This Jamsgiving is, what, a year old at this point. So it sounds like you're competing with Jamsgiving. I'm just saying. I'm just putting this out there that we've established. I don't know that, but we've established that.
Starting point is 00:58:28 Well, whenever you want it to be, if jams giving and deep lore about stuffing are competing, I know which one's winning on the name alone right now. How do these podcasts cover so much of the same ground? It's almost as if people aren't that interesting. But okay, it sounds like we're good. It sounds like we're good for February,
Starting point is 00:58:55 and then we'll work out the logistics later. That's great. And if anybody has any new competitions they want to submit, I feel like we should probably have a good seven or eight if we can come up with them. I bet I can stick some Monopoly money to Andrew's door by the end of the year. No way.
Starting point is 00:59:14 The end of this year or the end of next year? The end of this year. So you're going to go up to Nanaimo covertly sometime in the next month and a half and stick Monopoly money on Andrew's desk. With me not noticing? That's how sneaky I am.
Starting point is 00:59:30 With me not noticing? I bet you'll text me a picture of it and I'll already be back on my couch in Austin. Okay. Deal. There's no way that you do this. No? No. Zero percent chance. I'm gonna catch you. You won't catch me while you're watching your door?
Starting point is 00:59:46 No, I just, I don't know, I'll fucking Kevin McAlister it. I'm gonna step into a trap, there's gonna be a fucking paint can that swings by. I'm gonna grab the handle and then there'll be a pee burn into my hand. Yeah. I'm excited. Okay. You're on. I don't even know what the stakes are for this stakes somebody has to buy a steak
Starting point is 01:00:12 has to buy the steak dinner the problem is I don't know where Gavin lives so I'm at a disadvantage because I was going to counter back and say I'd do the same for you I don't know where you live great hey Andrew yeah I can help you out there okay okay we'll figure it out I don't know where you live. I live in Austin. Great. Hey, Andrew. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:26 I can help you out there. Okay. Okay, we'll figure it out. I mean, I don't know where Gavin lives either, but I can figure it out. Yeah, I know. You at least could patrol the streets and look for... Yeah, I got a better shot at it than you do. I know what his trash can looks like.
Starting point is 01:00:39 I'll send you photos. How about your trash can? Do you think, Andrew, do you think you could get a bag of cucumbers on his front porch without him knowing or seeing it on any camera? Without there being any evidence of it happening? I will get a bag of cucumbers there and I'm taking your trash can again. You're going to have to order another one. You're going to have to run another one. Oh, man.
Starting point is 01:01:10 I'm so excited to meet up eventually. I'm going to really be pushing for it. Well, it's happening in February. That's still so far away. I always get excited about November. Dude, February is not far away. It's going to go so fast. We're going to have... You're going to be so busy with the end of the year and then the beginning of the year
Starting point is 01:01:26 and all the trips and stuff. Aren't we taking a... potentially taking a beach vacation together between now and then? I hope so. I do too. I think that's the plan though. I'm just excited to get my steaks. Who makes...
Starting point is 01:01:43 What's the best steak in Austin? I feel unqualified yeah there's a restaurant called jeffrey's that has a it's really fucking expensive but really good what would you say the top three like can the winner pick their steak what about that absolutely okay trulox used to have this thing called steak dynamite which was really good. What was that? It was like a nice steak, but with shrimp and spicy sauce on top. You know what my favorite part about winning this bet is, Jeff? My favorite part about winning this bet is I'm going to schedule,
Starting point is 01:02:17 I'm going to win this steak. So that's going to be my first prize. I'm going to go to Austin. I'm going to redeem this steak. And Gavin is going to forget to show up to this steak dinner. And then I'm going to get a guilt basket. That's exciting. It's going to be a double win. This is a mountain. We're stacking victories here. Are there any new consoles coming out anytime soon?
Starting point is 01:02:33 I don't think so. We'll see. Or if you want, you can buy like the winner can make the loser buy like a cut of steak and then I can grill it for you. Although it'd probably be better just to go to a restaurant.
Starting point is 01:02:49 But I'm not bad. No, I think that'd be a good idea. I like that. I'm excited. Let's do this. We're locked in? We have our bet, Gavin? That's my way of stealing some steak out of this.
Starting point is 01:02:59 So what's the actual bet? You have to put a dollar. So what does being caught mean? Do I have to tag you? How does this work? You have to catch a dollar so if what is being caught mean do i have to tag you how does this work you have to catch me doing it so i need to stop you in the act essentially to prevent or alert him alert him that you're aware that he's there okay okay and i have to try to put a fucking cucumber on your door and steal your trash can from both places. Yeah, it needs to be cute. The cucumbers need to be in a bag
Starting point is 01:03:27 and they need to be sweating. If we're going to be correct. Now, Gavin, are you putting an American dollar, a Canadian dollar, or Monopoly money on his door? Or British? I'm probably going to put a Monopoly 100 on his door. Okay.
Starting point is 01:03:39 A Monopoly 100. Interesting. Okay. I'm excited. What's your doormate? What sort of fixings do I need to bring? That's for you to find out.
Starting point is 01:03:51 I'm not going to give you any edges. I don't have your fucking address. I should probably bring like tape or a magnet or a screw. Don't screw. Don't use a screw. That'd be a bad idea. Tape would work.
Starting point is 01:04:06 If you went with a screw, I would cease to have a door. What do you mean? Then I guess I'd technically win the bet. If I just get rid of my front door. Well, you're going to be bringing it down with you anyway, right? Didn't we determine you were going to lie with it? Yeah, that's a great point. I get to the door, it's just a door frame, and he's left.
Starting point is 01:04:22 I get to the door it's just a door frame he's left that's true you can't put it on the door if he's hidden the door out in the woods somewhere that's a question now does the door frame count
Starting point is 01:04:41 if Gavin goes there and you remove the doors the door frame count. If Gavin goes there and you remove the doors. Yeah, it does. The door frame would count. Okay. He's taking the door frame as well. Yeah, put it on the door frame if you can find that.
Starting point is 01:04:56 All right, so we've got a lot of stuff coming up, maybe. We either have a lot of stuff coming up or we have nothing coming up. Yeah, I guess it'll depend on after we hit stop here and what Andrew says. Yeah, what Andrewrew really means you're playing that on me when do i say yes in
Starting point is 01:05:12 the recording and say no the second literally the last time the monkey movie the previous time the monkey movie you immediately said no what was my reason for saying no you see i don't remember but you as soon as we finished... If I ever do that, it's because there's new information I've remembered. I'm never like, oh, I'm saying yes now, but I'm definitely saying no actually afterwards. It's usually like something else comes up. Or we have to change for something. I'm never lying in the recording.
Starting point is 01:05:42 Nick says new information you remembered is all information isn't it that's correct Nick but that's a great point that changes the intent I gotta defend Andrew a little bit there are some times when you say yes to something and then 10 minutes later as soon as we stop we go alright so we're on for a Friday and you go well
Starting point is 01:06:01 yeah and there's no implication that at that time I can't I just gave you an example what was the example And you go, well... Yeah, and there's no implication that at that time... I don't think that's true. I just gave you an example. I just gave you an example. What was the example? What was it? The MVP.
Starting point is 01:06:10 Oh, you're ridiculous. You fool! You didn't say what the MVP thing was. You said we'd all agreed, and then if you go in the episode, it's a whole... You're ridiculous. You're being ridiculous.
Starting point is 01:06:21 But that wasn't information I had in the recording. Let's end the show. Let's end the show. What, did it fucking fly to you five minutes later what do you mean checked a calendar or something exactly that's fine but you did the thing you did the act of saying i'm available and then as soon as we stopped being oh no i can't but the intelligence different for you because you already know you're saying no to this. I'm so amazed that Eric is so quiet through this part, because I would love to hear his, well, you know, maybe it's better we don't.
Starting point is 01:06:52 We should probably wrap this up, right? We should. All right. I'm also not sure that Eric is still here. You gotta go remove my door. I'll be back. I get the impression Eric went. Oh, no.
Starting point is 01:07:00 I'm here. There's just nothing that I'm gonna do that's gonna solve anything, so I'm just waiting for it to end so I'm going to do that's going to solve anything. So I'm just waiting for it to end so we can figure out if it's something we're doing or not. Well, there you have it. Thank you for listening to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast.
Starting point is 01:07:18 My name is Jeff Ramsey. I don't know why I said that. That's the beginning part. Strike that. I mean, I said it. Don't delete it, but don't retain that information uh just go ahead and like and subscribe uh and tell a friend uh about face
Starting point is 01:07:31 so that they'll like it too bye hey guys major league fan jack here with a look at next week's episode of face the boys ate too much turkey and forgot to record an episode so here's some predictions for what happens next week eric forgets his Icy Hot again. Jeff made friends with a living turkey. Penn doesn't understand Thanksgiving. Gavin wants to move. What is the year's best movie? How did you celebrate Black Friday?
Starting point is 01:07:55 And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face. I'm not available in Feb. I already knew that

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