Regulation Podcast - Pleasantry Differences // A Loose Relationship with the Truth [90]

Episode Date: February 16, 2022

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about pleasantries, Gavin's ohs, Andrew's achievement lies, why aren't knives better, set ups but no punchlines, Va***ty, David Hasselhoff, disowned by every country, and candy tastings? If you want to send your towel cards in, send to: Infinity Towel, 1901 e. 51st st, Austin, TX 78723 Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to [e-mail] Sponsored by HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/face16 + code face16), Honey (http://joinhoney.com/face), and Nutrafol (http://nutrafol.com + code FACE) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a Rooster Teeth production. I'm rolling in the pleasantries. Yeah, me too. This is pleasantries part. It's a great song. Good day to you all. How is everyone feeling today? I couldn't be better. I learned last night that macho man had a rap album in 2003 and so i listened to all of it it's it's better than you'd expect it to be but

not good obviously but there is a childlike joy to all of it how does it compare to steve-o does steve-o have an album oh yeah yeah it's some rap i have not heard i will okay i will listen i'll listen to steve-o is it a full album or is he just like rapped on a few songs? How does it compare to sell the stockbrokers rap album? Oh, man. Free John Gotti. One of the songs. Well, first of all, can you come back to an industry you were never part of?

Because the opening track is called i'm back and the whole hook is that macho man's back but he never rapped before yeah and i get he's saying like i'm back in the public eye but i don't think you could declare your back to a thing that is your first appearance of when would you say he left first left the public eye like when did his popularity first wane 2000 2001 i would say 2000 because that was the folding hi welcome to the wrestling part of the show this uh wcw folded in 2000 and when wcw got bought by wwf that contract that macho man might have maybe had within WCW. He didn't go, but he did make one more appearance in 2004, but that was it. He was done with wrestling

in 2000. So he was back after a three-year hiatus then. That's a pretty decent hiatus. I think that also came in 2003 was his Spider-Man cameo in the Tobey Maguire movie. This is the hook of the opening track. People want to know if Macho's still in the ring.

In my head, I always go, he isn't. As soon as that finishes. Then it goes, people want to know if Randy's doing his thing. He's not, is immediately what falls in my head. Then everybody's talking, want to know this and that. So I'm telling you right now, Randy Savage is back. Which always leaves me wondering, is he? Like he's here, but I don't, as I said,

I don't think you can come back to a thing that you've never done before. But more importantly, Macho Man means the thing. And I'll just go through it because I love it. I love it. It means it. So I think it's beautifully stupid. The M's because I push it to the maximum and the A's for the aura that they try to become. The C's for the champ six times I became and the H's for honor

I'm in the hall of fame the O's for oh yeah because I'm so outstanding the M's for macho I'm the last man standing I love he has two M's and one of them means something and the other M just means macho which is the first part of his well I don't think he could have said the M in macho is macho. He had to put it on the other M. Didn't you also just say that the C is for six champions? I guess, okay. Yeah. Yes, it is.

For the champs. Six times. He made the C champion, but the next letter in macho is H. So he could have just had the ch be champion. Right, but what was the H? As in lump them together. No, no, I understand, but then we would lose what the H was for.

Honor. Right, because he's in the Hall of Fame. Wow, I can't believe you remembered that. Also crazy that he came up with that nickname before he'd won the six championships, but that's what it meant. He looked at his name later and thought, that's convenient.

I just think, I just, I mean, I don't want to talk shit on Macho Man Randy Savage, who delighted and entertained me my entire childhood, but I think there might be some retrofitting going on there. I would agree with that. It's interesting. I didn't know it existed. It's 46 minutes long.

There's a love song in it, love rap which is great there's a very heartfelt like remembering his friend uh song to close the album it's a weird fun listen it's very bizarre but that is just that's been my my music for like the past 12 hours just on loop does he talk about miss elizabeth in it at all i don't think he does but i wondered if the love song applied to miss elizabeth the love song was about mr perfect no yes no that's the in memory song there's two different songs there's one that is like in dedication to his best friend mr perfect he calls him i think it's called my perfect friend and there's one prior that is just a macho man love song called what's that all about the chorus to the song is first you love me then you hate me want to leave me pretty lady

can you tell me what's that all about do you think do you think he wrote all this no absolutely not i forget who uh there's one person that was credited for most of these songs and it was not him. Are there any famous guest spots? Does like does like 50 sit drop a bar or. I wish there there are a few features on it of names I don't recognize, but they're people that have clearly rapped for a lot longer than he has. that have clearly rapped for a lot longer than he has. And when you're only listening to him rap, you kind of forget what the level of skill difference is between somebody that actually does this.

And it makes those songs glaring how not great at it he is, despite his attempt. You can tell he tried real hard. It makes me wonder about him, right? Because he's been famous and a part of popular culture almost my entire life, you know, growing up in the early 80s. And so I've seen him around in a million things throughout my life.

I've never seen him out of character. I always wonder with a guy like that, like, where does Randy Savage begin or where does you know what I mean? And Macho Man end? or where does you know what I mean and Macho Man end like is there like how different is he at home on right now in his living room watching CNN or QVC than the character he personifies I was gonna say the main difference is he doesn't hate Hulk Hogan but no he does he hates Hulk there's a diss track aimed at Hulk Hogan in the album. Back. He's not wrestling. He just hates Hulk Hogan and wants him to know that. I think everybody who worked with Hulk Hogan seems to hate him. It seems that way. Yeah.

He seems to be terrible, which is unfortunate as someone who loved him as a child. He sucks. Maybe he's terrible. Maybe it's jealousy. Who knows? No, I think it's terrible. I think he just sucks. OK, I'll say I don't know the man personally.

I don't either, but everything I know about him, he sucks. There you go. Strong words from Andrew Panton. Looking to fight Hulk Hogan. I already have the director of the tuxedo mad at me. I'm willing to take on Hulk Hogan. Why stop now? Sorry, pleasantries are over, guys.

Oh, they're done! You know what? Because we had... It's funny you mention pleasantries are over, guys. Oh, they're done. It's you know what? Because we had it's funny. You mentioned pleasantries. We recorded two episodes last week and I almost died of laughter in one over a thing that I don't think is necessarily all that funny, but it was funny in my head. It was. I love that you don't even remember. What was that?

We were we're just talking about the tiki mugs and it was a thing that i genuinely think is awesome and really liked and i felt like i was just drowning trying to talk about them genuinely and i just was like the worst i just couldn't get out of my own head that i was just fucking bombing and tanking it just sounded terrible and you went oh when i brought up that it was the intro oh yeah i said oh wrong and it broke me and it's to the point where as soon as we finished recording i went back and i went to your audio specifically to find the oh because you perv through my audio and so i went back into your audio and i was like wow this is he's real quiet here at the start because you you've started and you go testing test test test test and then it's just silence

for like an extended time i was curious what how much time you've spent what's the longest you've spent doing your test and then just waiting for the clock to run do you have a longest one is there one where you're like seven minutes early and you're like, oh boy. Probably like six minutes, maybe. Yeah, six minutes. Is that the average or is that the longest?

Sometimes I just get rolling and then I'll like go and do something like I'll make a coffee or I'll like maybe go pee and then just at three I'll join the Discord. But yeah, I've already been rolling for a few minutes sometimes.

That's funny. But that's my little secret. And Nick's. I love that the only difference between him and us is we're all we click on discord and then communicate with each other he's recording just like we are he's in the discord looking at it he just refuses to join us until exactly until he's contractually obligated to but not today i joined for some pleasantries you did pleasantries gav did you enjoy i'll be honest they sounded pretty pretty similar to this i was unaware of where the pleasantries were different to an episode or just any normal chat

or anytime we've played halo it was i i think adrian's full of shit no i to be fair this is the pleasant nobody's ever all here for pleasantries this is a rare time where everyone showed up 10 minutes early it's typically nick and i will be the first ones to hop in right so i ruined pleasantries by completing the entire cast and crew yeah you did and it's not your fault it's just um i'm if anything if anyone's upset by this it's me i wish you got to experience, if anyone's upset by this, it's me. I wish you got to experience the real Pleasantries experience. But I will no longer hold it against you.

You tried. I tried. You definitely made an attempt. I get it. I respect it. I will say, Gav, to kind of bolster where you're going with that, as someone who participates in Pleasantries pretty often, as soon as I joined, Andrew was reading rap lyrics

and he was doing a bit about macho man randy savage it felt very contenty to me i even asked him i was like hey is this content should we stop or is this pleasantries uh i don't know if any of that i don't know i mean i assume the pleasantries won't make it in the episode as andrew said pleasantries aren't for recording so they won't be in no i feel like most of that would go in what well then why were you producing the show 10 minutes early if you think it's content well you were the one that initiated it you're like should we go and then everyone started recording because you're like this this content i was just talking

about a thing i didn't expect it to be content but i think it became content because you brought it up as content i don't know i think you presented it as content i said most of it i didn't say all of it i think some of it is in we'll find out i guess i won't i don't listen to it i'll never know yeah i i guess the three of us will never fucking know it's up to nick while you were um rifling through my raw audio file uh did you find the o you were looking for i did find the o i was looking for and was it what you remembered well i can play it i asked as soon as we finished i asked nick to clip it and kelly clipped oh that's great it was the o and it was the next thing you

said after it that's what really killed me was i was i was really i was teetering on the edge with your o because i felt it sounded so disingenuous and then you you were jeff was talking you said uh oh no and that that came across as equally disingenuous to me. And that's what I just wouldn't bother saying anything if it felt disingenuous. Like, I feel like I wouldn't just say something for the sake of it. I must have just been slightly low energy, but I don't know why I would have done it deliberately disingenuously. I think I'm putting my own bullshit on you where sometimes when you're talking to someone

and you're not listening, you'll make a sound that you think goes with what they're saying, so it seems like you're still there, but you're really not, but you're just throwing a word out there. That's what both of your reactions sounded like in my head at that time. So I'm going to play. I don't know if I want to go through.

We'll see on the Discord audio if it will work. Here we go. if it will work here we go if it will play oh no I'll do it one more time oh no alright well okay in fairness if I was like

you know they'd be terrible takes if I was voice acting. So I would probably say do them again. But in reality, I don't think, I think that's real. I agree. I completely agree. Do you want a redemption? Do you want a redemption moment?

Do you want to re-recreate? No, I already redeemed it last week. I did my replacement the last time. Hey, Nick, can we get that to broadcast so that it can be added to the F*** Face Break shit soundboard? I would like both of those in there, please. Oh, man.

You've just deemed them unenthusiastic. By the way, dude, that, oh, man, you just did, came across as very genuine. I think both of them were genuine, I would say. I think the, oh, in my head say i think the oh in my head it was all completely in my head because i thought i was failing i didn't even know what you were laughing at at the beginning at the time yeah no it wasn't even all that funny it was just i was

in my own head and it just made me laugh because it seemed so disingenuous but did you clip out your laugh can we listen to that how ridiculous wait one second i'm getting a phone call right now let me see if i can uh can i swap well not it won't let me so so i switched i made that the noise for all the alerts on my phone so whenever whenever i get a text or an email or a call i get the oh oh no oh and it just. And it has been very funny. I would say, Gavin, that you're... I would say that that oh and that oh no were exactly... And I'm not weighing in judgment either way. I'm just saying they were exactly as legitimate

as your overkill achievement. All right. So it's real then. It was very legitimate. If you believe in the overkill achievement, then you probably believe in the oh, oh, no. There you go. I believe in both.

It's great. I love, I would reckon, maybe I'll, I don't know, put the file out if people want to do what I did. It's amazing when things chain. Like if I get a Twitter alert and then an email comes through, it'll just go, oh, oh, it's fantastic.

I'm having a great time. It spooked me like three different times. I'll be doing something. Then I'll out of nowhere. I'll just hear Gavin go, oh, oh, no. I'd highly recommend. Speaking of Halo, though, for a minute, I had I had a bit ruined, Jeff. I had something stomped on.

It was very sad. What happened? Last time we recorded, it came out that Gavin has been fucking with me with this whole screenshot game that he's been doing. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't know it. I finally figured it out.

Oh, we haven't done an intro, Eric is saying. Oh, yeah. Check it out. F*** Face, Episode 80 something. What is it? 90. Who cares? Episode 90.

Who fucking cares? Season 4 or something. Let's go. Anyway, you were saying. So I was saying. I learned. I see that Eric at three, by the way. Also, he's written no intro down here, but at the top he wrote, no intro.

And then a minute later writes, someone do an intro. I didn't see any of that i wasn't looking at the discord so i learned i learned that gavin had been fucking with me with the screenshot thing but what gavin didn't know is that there's an achievement in halo infinite to revive three players in a game type that hasn't been in halo until this event that just came out uh and it's it's it's been impossible achievement you couldn't in Halo until this event that just came out. And it's, it's, it's been impossible achievement. You couldn't get it until this event.

And I got a text from Gavin saying, Hey, did you get the achievement? And I didn't because you can't, it's a different game type. It's you can revive people in the game type, but it's called, what is it like attrition instead of elimination?

Because attrition at the, at the end of each round of attrition, it basically ends through elimination. There's a set amount of lives and then you eliminate the final spawns until everyone's dead so and it even says elimination on the screen yes so i assumed revive and you can revive so i assumed three revivals in a round would be i also i assumed that when i played and i couldn't figure out why it didn't unlock when I did it. And I played several games that were very intense trying to get this achievement. And I thought I met the criteria to unlock it.

And then I read online. Oh, it's the wrong game type. It's attrition, not elimination. It's a weird technicality thing. So then when Gavin texted me, have you got the achievement yet? I immediately replied yes. And I thought, I don't know. I don't know what the end result of this will be but i

could just fuck with him about this and i'm hoping in my head that he's gonna be in all these like tense games where he just needs one more revive and he doesn't quite get it so he's annoyed by it it just made me laugh i was i did i had so many games where i got two and i kept me like oh it's so close so we were we're playing and it's the lie that i never considered reaching beyond gavin and so it was gavin dan and uh bernie joined uh and he immediately asked if anyone here had the achievement and in my head i panicked because i was like i don't i need to lie about this so i just said yeah i got it and then i thought all i can like message later or something and explain because if he then doesn't get it and then realize like i then just look like a really

weird liar for no reason so i need to explain that this is a bit that i'm doing so i was like yeah i i got it he's like wow that's impressive and we played for a little bit more and then and then he left and we were playing and like 10 minutes after he left, he rejoined the party and it was like somebody kicked the door down. He rejoined and immediately said, Patton, you said you got that achievement. I was so caught off guard and I didn't know what to say. So I was like,

yes, I did say it, but no, yes, but no, but yes, but no, but yes.

Cause he was just in a game and he got three revives done the criterion it didn't pop for him so he was pissed and he was like did it fuck me over type thing and then he didn't know how to interpret my response so then it just came out that i had been lying to gavin about this for at least a week. You should have just fucking texted him immediately and said, dude, Ixnay on the Achievement A. I would have, but I was so panicked. The way he came into the party, it was like he kicked the door down. I know that, Bernie.

I know exactly what you're talking about. I was not prepared for that to play out. The good news is that there's one other lie that I've told Gavin about Halo that he thinks is true and he doesn't know what it is freaking jeff to me he's bloody driver's license to be here and i can't figure i'm trying to now remember all the things he's told me about halo is it a good one andrew like i remember telling him that it was i remember telling him that him replying that's interesting so i think i think it is it was over him replying, that's interesting. So I think it is.

It was over text and I said, that's interesting? I'm not going to give you any clues as to what it was. Interesting. Search all. Oh, we say interesting to each other a lot. It was funny, though, when you had to come clean in front of Birdie because he was like, wait, what? And I was like, wait, what? And you just were flogged.

And Dan was like, I don't know what's going on. It was very, it was a strangely heated, intense moment that came out of left field. But I was disappointed that that bit has died. But I still got one in the fire it's got one halo thing that you just don't know what it is if you ever guess it i'll let you know but i'm not gonna tell you said interesting too i went bowling the day before that was that was when i was doing my investigation on your the thing i asked what you did on the on that day and you're like i can't say on that day, but I went bowling the day before.

So that was a joke. Interesting. Like that actually meant something. I sent you my overkill achievement. I said it might be the worst quality video on YouTube. I must have been 20 when I made this. You said interesting. I said, what do you think?

You said I'm holding my opinion till Thursday. I said interesting. That was two interesting across four messages. I'm never going opinion till Thursday. I said interesting. That was two interesting across four messages. I'm never going to find this. If we did a coin flip where we, one of us had to remove the word interesting, I just don't think we'd have text conversations anymore. Maybe we just need to be more honest about what is and isn't interesting.

Or increase the bar of what is. Because I feel as though that was a joke interesting, but I don't feel like I've ever lied about it interesting and interesting isn't a lie word for me what about incredible incredible might be a lie a great lie word Gavin called me out on this great question

is a great lie word for me great question is like that's what I say when I need time to like figure out it's like a slightly longer it's like I'm going to respond without responding give me a second to come up with a thought before answering your question okay that's mine I don't know do you have one everything I've ever said to you is a lie I have such a loose relationship with the truth it's yeah it's the truth is whatever the truth is whatever is the

funniest in the moment in whatever content i'm making yeah i'm gonna cut for that embellishments yeah yeah that's gonna really piss me off probably for the rest of uh i'm not are you ever going to tell me though what it was no i if you guess it i will let know, but I don't think I'll ever tell you. Let's just say this, Andrew. I've been stormed. If my relationship with the truth, like, if I were Macho Man Randy Savage, I would be sitting on my sofa right now watching QVC going,

oh, yeah, cubic zirconium. I would be full. There's no, I can't take the hat off, so. I would be full. I there's no I can't take the hat off. So I just like imagining you watching QVC. Just generally speaking to I fucking I like to watch the knife. The dudes that sell knives at like three in the morning.

Do they sell? What is their angle? What is like a fucking country dudes? It's just there's like a there's there's like a million different QVC type things. But I always see the one like when I'm in hotels and shit where they like there's like a lucite lazy Susan type thing in the middle and it just spins with like a different buck hunter knife on it. And then it'll be like a different kind of knife and they'll just talk about how great the knife is.

I could watch that forever. My favorite one. I like whenever they do tech stuff. I don't remember what exactly the specifics of it they tried to sell xboxes on qbc and then like trying to explain why an xbox one was great was fantastic i was there should be like just a channel do they post all those online that's a great question like they should do that i guess it's not in their best interest but i've been watching more of that kind of content

for the last few months just for osmosis purposes. We're going to launch... At some point when Gavin's available, we're going to film this. We're going to film that show. I don't know if we've talked... It's called Does It Do?

But anyway, we're going to film that show where we test out infomercial products. And so I'm trying to steep myself in that world, so I have those kinds of shows on a lot these days. A bit of research. Yeah. I immediately tried to do the same thing. We're just watching paid programming,

but unfortunately almost everything I get is this one guy who tries to sell... It's like the Bible of business advice. He uses the background like it's a church setup but it's just like this is a book on how to be successful in business and it sucks it's a terrible like one hour long maybe 30 minutes i don't know but anyway terrible i don't have fun ones i wish i had knife guys i'd love to watch somebody try to sell me on a knife because i feel like it's an easy sell.

You're not really looking for too many things out of a knife. I, uh, yeah, it's like, does it stab good? Uh, I, uh, I'll send you some, I'll send you some knife content. Oh, please do. I'd love some good knife content. Absolutely. Why are, why are knives better? Well, what do you mean by that? Like, isn't there a metal we can make knives out of where it doesn't go blunt over time?

Like, should a chicken really blunt my knife if I cut a hundred chickens up? I don't... Hmm. Well, there are, like, Japanese knives. Those are really high quality, but even those go dull. Still gotta be sharpened.

Still have to be sharpened. Japanese knives are cool. But a knife that never dulls. Yeah, like, what's the most resilient metal what what is the most google i don't know the most resilient metal has to feel good though as well i can't i would rather take a knife that dulls but feels good to use than a chromium chromium chromium knife do they sell this yeah uh chromium knife blades oh they you can buy a hamacker slamacker for 154.95 the forever sharp french chef's knife kitchen knife dude we can get some chromium not... I got a chromium chisel. Have you ever had to sharpen it?

No, I only used it a week ago to put in a new electric door handle. What a great throwback that was a great callback buddy I'm gonna take notes on that as somebody who killed it

with a callback recently of the bread clip I'm gonna take notes on great callback execution that was perfect but you just totally nailed you rolled with it it was amazing of the bread clip. I'm going to take notes on, on great callback execution. That was perfect. But you just totally nailed, you rolled with it. It was amazing. I don't know why I've said it. Cause it doesn't make sense.

I feel like you, I think you may have said the batteries. I think you may have used the word expired, which then made me think of, of food expiring, which then made me think of the purpose of a bread clip. Well, that is funny.

Did you, did I say it like 90 seconds earlier though because it seemed to come out of nowhere no i wish there was there was something recently that on the podcast where i thought i had a really funny line and i didn't say it and there's nothing funnier on a podcast than talking about something funny you could have said but didn't this is great i'm doing great content right now let me enthrall you with is that the right word? That was the right word, right? Yeah, you nailed it.

I nailed it. Yeah, that was good. It's a good moment by me. I have moments where I, listening back to the podcast, I can see areas where I was about to tell a joke, and I just don't. But sometimes, because you can hear me go like, and when I'm listening to it, I'm like,

oh, I know what I was going to say that. You know, that could have been funny, but I didn't say it. But there are some times where I just leave the setups in and then I give up on it and don't deliver the punchline. But there was a bit when Jeff was talking about his bikes and his exploding batteries. He was talking about the spokes. And I said something like oh were they custom and what i was gonna say was you could say it was bespoke but i i just left in the is it a custom thing and i never did the punchline because i just thought better of it

and you would never know what i was about to say has has there ever been a one where you tried to guide the car back to the ramp on a future episode did you ever have you ever tried to take us back because you thought a line was so good that you needed to do it again you gotta run this back have you done that i haven't done that i have more like uh i'll have an idea of something to talk about and then it just never comes up and then i question should i still talk about it because i i think it's funny but it doesn't make sense it's been so long since the main thing like so oh boy we're going to a lot of places here so on the rt podcast at one point it was brought up recently it'd be funny to because we have a uh on the next episode of jack does at

the end of these where he guesses what will happen and it was joked about that what if we did a previously on at the start of the episode and so i thought that's a funny idea what if like i could get some weird person to do the previously on that no one would be able to know like it would become a mystery of who is the previously on because i loved lost and that was like a weird thing for a while with loss where people are like who the fuck is the previously and lost voice and they kind of like kept it a mystery so i was like hmm what would be a funny nobody would be able to guess who is this voice and so i reached out to the guy that wrote that variety article i was like hey did i ask you something and i did not approach it and uh we talked very nice

todd's great todd's a great guy he politely declined in doing the previous one which is why i'm bringing it up now but that is something all in the last two we recorded was constantly in my head of like i want to talk about the fact that i talked to the guy that wrote that variety article and never got to how did he explain himself yeah explain himself uh no i didn't ask that i didn't ask why we weren't included i just i brought up that's all the what's the point no i don't really care why i don't give a fuck if variety includes us or not it doesn't matter in any way to me that aspect of it i just what was funny to me about the variety thing as i said was the fact that they you would assume they would have to at least consider it there would be some form of that's what it'd be good to know like was he not provided the list was it someone

in our company who didn't give it to him or was it he had it and didn't want to include it i don't care about that information you do care you talked about how funny it was, how you love the idea that at some point he had to sit down and make a decision what to include and what not to and what would be safe for Variety or not. And you had the man who had to make those decisions on the hook

and you didn't ask him about those decisions? That was the whole point of all of this. You don't make any sense. No, I strongly disagree. Every time you talk to anyone else, I'm disappointed. Now, here's, let me explain myself. If I get an answer to that question, it might no longer be funny anymore. If I just assume what happened, it's funny.

If I continue to live in the world in which my assumption is correct, it's funny to me. And there's no risk of that changing. I don't really care that we weren't mentioned in the variety thing i don't give a fuck about what variety thinks of this podcast doesn't matter to me what's funny to me is that proper like established businesses that don't have that tone at all have to at least look at the name theoretically and then decide if they want to include it i don't. I don't need confirmation for that. That's just I'm deciding that's how that goes.

I didn't care about that. I just thought it'd be really because nobody would fucking guess it was the Variety guy doing the previously on. That would have been a great get. Of course it wouldn't. Would have been a fantastic get. So now I'm trying to think of somebody kind of tied to the show that is Jackie Chan.

I don't think I could getie chan i don't think i should get jack i don't think kevin donovan would vouch for me unfortunately at this time so i don't that'd be a tough one dusty baker i thought about trying to get somebody in the zimmer family but then i thought i don't know how they'd feel about the boys zimmer shirts and all that i don't know necessarily if they'd love yeah i'd hope they would but i just don't know how they'd feel about the boys Zimmer shirts and all that. I don't know necessarily if they'd love I'd hope they would but I just don't know Yeah, and a lot of us laughing at their dead relative getting shoved into the ground head first That's I kind of forgot about that. That was like a lot. Yeah, maybe not the greatest idea

It was interesting. I was reading about I don't know if you know about this Jeff I didn't know a don zimmer's time with the texans which is when he was on that that was when he ate the fried chicken yeah the 1982 guy so i was reading about it i don't are you familiar with what happened to him when he was on that team no i was he was fired on him he was fired on like monday and asked to manage the team through to thursday but they they fired fired him on Monday and they had him they had him like manage a game beyond being told that he was going to get fired at the end of the week. Something happened that nobody knows what like five days prior to him getting fired. The owner said, I think Zimmer is doing a great job. And then he had an all day meeting. And from what I can tell, the owner has never said Zimmer never said what happened.

But something happened and he fired immediately after they had some disagreement that has never become public. And so he fired him on a Monday, but he had to manage on Wednesday and they had a press conference post all this coming out. And somebody asked her is one. I wish there was audio or video. This is such a contentious press conference where it's the owner and Zimmer and somebody asked the owner. Can Don Zimmer have a job in a different part of the Texans organization? And the owner said, absolutely.

Don Zimmer is this beloved man in baseball. He's great. Fantastic. He can have any job in this building that he wants to which Don Zimmer then replies. What I want is to manage the team on Friday when they play against the Yankees. That's what I would like. And the owner looks Friday when they play against the Yankees. That's what I would like.

And the owner looks at him and then says to the media, Don is going to be playing golf on Friday instead. It's been a very stressful time. But, you know, I think we all think it's in his best interest that you just relax and play some golf. To which then Don doubles down and says, No, I don't want to play golf. I want to manage the team on Friday against the Yankees, but it appears I'll be playing golf.

It was great. I just love that they had this insane press conference where he's arguing with the owner. What's going on there? I don't know. It's a wild time. They seem like a dumpster of a franchise at that time. But it was wild getting into some Don Zimmer. So I don't know.

Oh, Gavin just posted a screenshot. Interesting. Also all the interestics. Nick said we should ask Pedro Martinez. I think that's a great idea. He's he is out and available.

He's doing MLB commentary. He's he's used to recording. I bet he'd be he'd be super willing and available to do it. Who do you think is more likely, Pedro Martinez or Coolio? Well, we've been more pro-Pedro Martinez

than we have been Coolio. I feel like we early on signaled that we were... Nah, but we signaled we were coming for him. We were coming to usurp his Instagram. I forgot about that. If Coolio did the previously on, he could end his previously on and just say, here it goes. That's true.

Is that a Coolio song? It's just the end of the, well, it's the beginning of Kino & Co, isn't it? Oh, here it goes. Oh. For a thing that we've talked about like eight times, I have no concept. I have no memory of any of the Coolio rap lines

outside of Abbott and Costello were mentioned. And that might be it. I think that's all I remember about the Coolio rap. I mean, it was a Kel quote, wasn't it? From the show. Nobody watched it. I don't know why I'm asking. I watched it.

I think I've seen every single episode of Keenan and Kel multiple times. I bet we could get Kel. I met him once. He's really, really nice and seems up for it. You met both of them. Oh, I guess I did. Not at the same time, though. Years apart. But I did meet Kel first, and he seemed lovely. I was so baffled that that was

a question, Gavin, that I didn't register it as a question. I thought you were talking when you asked about Keenan and Kel. It was such an absurd idea to me that you would ask either of us after the history of the rap. what did i ask didn't you no we're not doing this again didn't you just phrase a question you said isn't it a keenan and kell thing we're talking about keenan and kell and you you brought up isn't it a line from the show and then you said that's a perfect example

of the moment had gone past i shouldn't have returned to it because you were gone you had left the building well it was too far it was too far enough for me to remember what question you were talking about and then when i said what question you didn't have well because i don't keenan and kell does not stick in my brain so i was struggling i was trying to like recreate the backdrop of the scenario of where it was asked. The longer we talk about it, the better it gets. Nick, can you clip that moment? And then we can submit that to Webster's or New Merriam for their audio dictionary to describe that. It was the perfect dictionary example of what that moment is.

What moment is? Exactly. Thanks, Nick. I learned something else. That kind of blew my mind. I feel like most people will probably realize this. I fucked up in kind of a not interesting way. I thought that.

David Hasselhoff was a part of Blue Swede. Is what I thought. I hooked on a feeling. Band? Yeah. I thought hooked on a feeling was a David Hasselhoff was a part of Blue Sweet. That's what I thought. I hooked on a feeling. Band? Yeah. I thought Hooked on a Feeling was a David Hasselhoff song. Why? He sung.

Because he covered it? Because I think he covered it. And it like crossed in my brain that he was just the singer of the Blue Sweet version. So I just assumed he was in Blue Sweet. And so to learn that he doesn't he's not and that he has an extensive cover career was was fun but i've lived i don't know my whole life thinking that david hasselhoff whenever i'd hear hooked on a feeling i always assumed it was david hasselhoff well it's because he performed it so well he he he he owned that performance so i don't think i've heard the

hasselhoff have you not seen the video? You must have seen the video. Oh, we're putting the video in right now. I know this is an audio podcast. We will describe what is happening. That is what... I went on a whole binge of Hasselhoff's music videos after this. One of the greatest videos of all time. It feels very much like Hasselhoff got a green screen

and was really excited about it All right, I'm what get loaded up. Just immediate. You're immediately hooked. You're hooked on a feeling immediately Are you dealing with yet the dancing bear yet this dog Was he like a yeti flying over the clouds? What's happening here? He's in like an Inuit suit snow or something, right? Yeah, I clouds what's happening here he's in like an Inuit suit snowboard or something right yeah I like that it's not even like the background footage isn't even the same aspect ratio it's like he's standing in a bunch of crushed people I don't either David Hasselhoff is a comedic genius or it's one of the greatest accidents of all time it It's the way that the video builds off of itself. It's a very popular video.

I'm surprised you haven't seen it. Yeah, I've missed that. It's a... What is this? A hymn dressed up in safari dancing? I don't believe... Yeah, they must have known this was funny. I don't know.

I can't tell. He's singing with himself. He's standing on a bike. Well, he flies on it later. He's flying. He's flying off the... Yeah and i know what they're doing with this i feel like they do but it's it's great but it's possible they don't i mean i feel like they do maybe he doesn't that's kind of a macho man situation

how about you guys how have you been wait we're back to pleasantries no i was just i feel like i'm talking a lot i've learned about hasselhoff and macho man well i wanted to talk to you about how serious you are about no this uh donkey kong challenge oh okay i'm very serious about it when does it begin that's a great question because I walked away from that going I don't know if I ever set a date what about when this comes out? You said it needed to start on a Saturday after a recording

or after when it comes out this will come out on a Wednesday this Saturday I will start the thing and that's when the 48 hours will clock or how many? 40 hours? what was the time? we adjusted the time 44 hours i think 44 hours i have to ask a question before we get any further of course you started this response by saying great question so am i not am i not to believe you now no because everything that now is said post a great question is a lie that you've

come up with on the moment no it's it's a problem where it's also just kind of my go-to response i think that was a genuine great question i didn't need time for that one that was a genuine great question i understand i see what you're saying it is a dilemma it's a real problem i'm gonna work it out but that was a great question f facepod on twitch i think what what day When? What day is, when does this come out? What day is the number, the numerical date? This will be on February 16th. February. Did we work this out last time?

16. Did we figure out when the last week's one would come out? Maybe. This might have already happened. It's now happened. Well, you did this. You did this to us. It's your fault if it has.

February 19th will be the start time 12 a.m it's like a 44 hours i don't know wait that long well we've recorded a few for you this is your fault that you have to wait that long we're ahead because of you this is you you did this i'm glad you brought that up though because i i had been thinking that i i felt like i don't what I'm supposed to start this, but it would feel weird for me to bring it up. So we're set. Are you get you're good with the 64 pieces of clothing? I'm going to be honest. I didn't know Joey had a bit and friends were that it was that.

So I felt exactly 64. Was it exactly 64 pieces? There's no way it was exactly. It was just he's wearing a lot of clothes for some reason. People have worn a lot of clothes since the beginning of time. Since the beginning of time? Nick wrote something very funny in the chat. If you watch Friends.

I still thought it was funny. I haven't seen it. I still think. Why didn't you just read the line? Why didn't you say that Nick said something funny? Why didn't you just say what he said? Why are we dissecting every bit? Well, it's just weird.

Because that means nothing. Now people don't know what Nick said. It's a weird way to handle that situation. Nick, why doesn't Nick deliver it in the style of said character? Ooh. I like this. Nick, I'm going to need that clipped too.

That's going to go for the soundboard as well. Nick unmuted inside. Yeah, definitely. Could he be wearing any more clothes? That was good. That was great, man. That was really good. That was really good, Nick.

Really good. I'd love to hear him do an O. I bet you that would sound just as good. Delivery. I'm not going to do callbacks is what I've done. Oh, that was pretty good. That was good. I think Eric hasn't said very much on this one.

Why would he? I was here for the pleasantries, and then you guys, you know, I'm not featured here. It's all you guys. I will say that Eric came in hot with dates. Like, we were talking about, about like when Macho Man Randy Savage like initially retreated from the public eye. And Eric was like the fucking like NWA was disincorporated on this exact day. And then he did like Eric has like a timeline of everything

that's ever happened to wrestling. So he was very beneficial early on to the pleasantries. But that's all pleasantries. So I don't know if that made it, Gavin. Hmm. Wherever you're going, you better believe American express will be right there with you. Heading for adventure.

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We were, so we played Halo a little bit ago. Three of us. No, Jeff and you and myself played some Halo. It's been a minute. I haven't played Halo with you guys in weeks. It's been some time. It's, listen, it took a while to put this together. But we're talking about

if you, let's say that you were created. You exist. And you had to pick a country to live in based only on its flag. You don't know anything about it. You just, the only point of context you have is the flag for the place. What flag would you pick?

And it we led into we're making like conversation about joke facts for different countries so i emailed every country what fact they would want if they were gonna if they were could share one fact about their country who's answering the country's inbox i don't know i didn't get any replies and so i'm saying i've been disowned by every country i emailed every country asking if you could share one fact about some countries don't nick that's a great point he asked does every country have an email address some countries do not but every country that did i emailed what do you mean what do you what do you mean what do you email a country like the you like the government? You Google the country and typically there's like an official

country tourism website that they've made for their own place. You're emailing the tourist board? Uh, yeah. I'm emailing the tourist board for the country. Does that constitute... you could just email like Steve and... I'm not fucking emailing Travelocity. I'm emailing the country represented tourist website. Have you seen Nick's

email address? United States of America at USAUSAUSA.gov A lot of places you don't know their email address. You just put in a contact form and you reach out. I wonder why you got no replies. I didn't get, but I feel like I'm being ghosted i i didn't i didn't get but i feel like i'm being ghosted by every country at the moment and i i don't feel like i have one i feel like

i'm a man without country but we all answered that question so i was gonna ask eric if he was gonna pick a country based purely on flag alone what country would he go with okay uh albania albania yeah albania i don't even know what albania's flag looks like oh you should look it up albania flag yeah you could just probably type in the word albania i don't two-headed bird yes it is i don't know if i like this you don't know if you like the it's weird that countries aren't getting back to you man that's nuts no okay let me the albania flag looks like somebody that you wouldn't want to play a multiplayer game with like in a shooter like that is can somebody link the albanian flag what a great question oh that's uh that's a you wouldn't want to live there jeff

here's no dude you can see what do you mean you can see the birds have tongues you can see their tongues how often do you see a bird's tongue that flag that flag looks like war that's a that's an aggressive flag i just want to live here's my flag cura body there's a seagull there's a white bird there's sunshine no dude the my flag says suntan on the beach no it's so you're nick's right it's peaceful you have a boring ass bird my birds have tongues two heads going nuts you're crazy you're bad your flag is a mythical beast with a thousand talents the person that represents your flag is telling me to uninstall the game because I don't have a high enough KD like what I don't want to live in your nation It stinks Jeff's flag is great. He's the if I'm in a game lobby with Jeff's flag

He's playing music too loudly, but it's chill music. So I'm okay with it He's not doing all that great, but he's island vibes, man. I'm having a great time mon I'm loving life. Is Kiribati... It's Kiribati, I think, isn't it? Isn't that the one that was like right on the dateline and it switched sides at one point and they lost or they gained a day?

Like something weird happened with that little place. Really? I don't know, but I bet they were so fucking chill and relaxed they didn't notice. I think it was to do with like doing business with Australia or something where it kept being the weekend on the wrong day or i don't know i can't remember it hey can i tell you guys about

a little side story in the middle of this because it just happened a little saga that's gone on in my library while uh you guys are talking about the welsh flag by the way uh yeah but link it up dude i missed the first half of all of that because Henry started barking. I ran up to open the door for him because I was recording the other podcast I do this morning, the theme park one. And, you know, Henry, there's a strict no, there's a strict no squeezy toy rule in all other podcasts.

Like Henry, it's like Vin Diesel saves his muscles for Vin Diesel movies. I save Henry squeaks for face, right? And so we have, there's a, I swear to God, there's a bit of a tension between Henry and I, when I'm doing other podcasts where he just kind of is annoyed with me.

And so this morning, while I was recording with Jack, I had forgotten to open the door and, uh, I started to smell and I thought Henry farted and I turned around. And he took a giant mega shit right behind me this morning on on the rug and i was like ah damn it and i went i cleaned it up and i felt bad because it was my fault because i left the door closed uh so we could go potty after breakfast and uh just completely

slipped my mind i'm a little loopy today i apologize i'm on some cold meds so uh when they started you guys started having the albanian conversation henry started barking and i went oh fuck he's about to take another dump. He's letting me know. And so I ran over and I opened the door to let him out, but I forgot the alarm has been on all day. So then the alarm started going off. So then I had to run around to the front of the house

and disable the alarm. And then I came back in and I slid into the middle of it. I went, that's an interesting flag, Eric. Okay. Nobody would have ever known, but it's too ridiculous not to tell you guys. Anyway, I'm sorry the alarm I got it fast dude oh

also uh maybe you did hear it I don't know but uh anyway you didn't you didn't hear it going uh back door open alarm alarm whatever she was saying I heard it uh anyway Gavin your flag uh that's whales that's whales the dragon

I thought your people didn't like whales I don't think I like whales I always like I remember when we were even there visiting

I was like should we go to Wales I want to go to Cardiff or whatever and you were like there's no reason to go there it's boring

nobody likes whales I remember you telling me I didn't think that was ever on the cards it was Scotland or France that we were going to go to no no I remember this is the 10 year ago vacation or that was ever on the cards. It was Scotland or France that we were going to go to. No, no. I remember.

This is the 10 year ago vacation or 15 years ago at this point. Yeah. No, I remember it coming up because I'm part Welsh and I thought I wanted to go see the homeland. And you're like, no, you don't. I was just guarding Wales. Well, I don't remember that. Okay.

Well. For the record, I'm pro Wales. So I like your flag. Do you think Eric had Albania ready to go, or did he just Google list of countries in alphabetical order and picked one of the first ones? I think he Googled angriest flag. I had it ready to go.

I think Albania's flag is cool as shit. Okay. It is cool. Look at it. Gavin's has one tongue. Yours has one bird. Mine has two-headed bird tongues. Awesome. Mine is like a tail tongue.

That is true. Is that better? Maybe that might not even be a tongue. It might have just eaten another dragon. Or he's just got a tongue coming out of his ass. Think about it. I am. I genuinely don't like the albania flag i'm not a fan of it you're crazy i don't understand like what do you

want in a flag i don't want to i don't know like i don't i feel like that flag would be used to represent the villains in like a from software game is like the vibe I get. It's a menacing flag. And where are those where are those villains in that game? And what's the time frame? Well, the like the Wolfenstein like type games like it's just the like it feels very military, militant. What is the word I'm looking for? Militant? Nazi is the word you're looking for. I think you're trying to say it looks like World War II Nazi propaganda. I want it on the record that I got there without Nick, which he gave me the assist, or he had the right word, but I got there.

Yeah, I also said it, but all right. I didn't hear you. I'm sorry. I wasn't listening. That's okay. Another callback. Well, your flag... I think your flag's a bit on the nose, isn't it? What do you mean? Whose flag?

Canada. I never said I'd pick my flag. You're not a fan of your own flag? No, it's totally fine. I think I have a decent flag. I don't think I'd pick Canada based off of the flag alone. I think the USA flag's kind of a problem. In what way? Well, we've locked

ourselves in with those 50 stars. It makes it hard to add or subtract. Didn't always have 50 stars in it. No, it went from like, it didn't, you're right, but it's, I mean, if you look at it, it's proportioned very well. I've often tried to look at that flag and try to figure out how we would stick a Puerto Rico star in there

or Guam or another country. Just ditch a state. That's interesting. We dump Arkansas but pick up Guam. I think you can only remove and not add. Nobody likes DLC. It'd be a real problem to try to add on. I'd be pissed if I had to buy a whole new flag

for one additional star. Well, they could add DC as well as its own state. Yeah, that's a good point. That is a good point. Should we eat this fucking candy that's been on my desk for this entire episode? Am I the only one that did this? Did you not do this?

Did you not do the prep cap? What do you mean, did he not do it? Of course he didn't do it. The only homework I wrote down was to turn up for pleasantries. What's the other thing? What did I need to buy? We were going to eat everybody's favorite candy, and then we were going to pick the best candy, and then I was thinking that could be the official candy of F***face for the year.

And you have them too, Geoff? Of course I have. I've had them for weeks. What do I need? Well, you need, for Jeff, you need Starburst. You need mini Starburst unwrapped Flavor Reds. And you need Big Chewy Nerds. For Andrew, you need Big Chewy Sour Nerds. And then for Gavin, you need a Kinder Bueno.

Okay, I got all that I like that we opened this with the possibility of you this has been a bad voiceover performance for you these last two you want to try another take buddy nobody has I kind of wish you reminded me during the pleasantries and I could have ordered something.

I reminded you technically last night when I asked, what is everybody's candy? I need to do this. When did you say this? That was in the Slack. Face chat. 12.10 a.m. today. It's probably one of the first messages you've seen.

What candy do we need for tomorrow? In which Jeff replied, Kinder Bueno, Chewy Nerds, your candy, which wouldn't have been helpful to you, Gavin. So I'd understand if you would have missed that one. Starburst chews only the reds. Now, you seem to say a different product, Jeff. Is it OK that I just have Starburst minis and I qualify like just the reds is what you're saying? I have a bag of all of them. So here's the deal. I wasn't aware. I first started buying these at Hobby Lobby when I was going to buy Christmas stuff.

And so I just grabbed what I saw. And I didn't really look at the package too closely. I didn't realize that I was eating flavor reds until the other day. I bought a bag of the regular Starburst and it tasted like doo doo. And then I realized that i had gotten the wrong thing so you can achieve the same goal but you just can't eat any of the yellow or orange starburst out of there only pink red and dark red well i can eat them i just am not evaluating as far as my they're not a part of this well they'll they'll taint your they'll taint the palette

here again i'm gonna open one of these things you want to pretend that it's you i'll just make the palette. Here, I'm going to open one of these things. Do you want to pretend that it's you? I'll just make the sound. Ready? Yeah. That was just me opening the... I haven't even opened... Why are you slurping chocolate? Gavin drank the wrapper, it sounded like.

What are you doing? Slurped the wrapper. Why would you do that? I have a lot of questions I'm opening up my big chewy nerds I'm opening up Should we? Alright

Wait, this is invalid Because we don't have Gavin Well, I feel like he could We didn't have Andrew For the Cosmic Chris I'll just do Aaliyah Oh, that's fine That's a great point

That's a great point Not a great question But it was a great point I feel like, honestly, Andrew, I feel like I haven't spoken to you in a while because ever since I found out you lied to me about Halo, I haven't texted you about playing Halo.

Are those connected? You're not wrong. It's been playing alone. Oh, that's sad. That's lonely. Oh, these are weird. These Starburst minis are weird. These are fucking weird.

Just pink, red, and dark red, please. They just don't look like I'd assume that they would look like. They're different than Starburst. That's what's good about them. They're like a unique thing. Okay. They're perfect size. They're perfect to chew.

I'm going to get some of your sour. I'm going to get four sour nerds. I'm going to get four regular nerds, although I know what mine tastes like. So, do you know roughly, like, how big this bag is, right? Yeah, I mean, I assume it's the same size mine is. 191 grams. Is that how big your bag is?

Mine is 99 grams. So mine's bigger than yours. Don't brag about it. No, I'm just gonna, I think I could eat all these at once. Oh, I've already eaten a bag of them today, just while we've been sitting here. No, I mean it at the same time. Like a hot- one mouthful?

You just- please take the yellow and the orange out. I think I could do a mouthful of these. Please take the yellow and the orange out or it's gonna ruin everything. I took out the reds to review separately. I'm just gonna try this. We're gonna just put- So you're starting off by eating everything that's remaining. I'm gonna eat the shit I don't want you to eat. Yeah, it's gonna cleanse- it's gonna taint this palate.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. The orange and the yellow is objectively bad. It's gonna ruin your experience. Oh, oh, oh. Do they bite well? They bite. No! Yeah, they do, actually. They're great to chew. No, no, no!

That's part of the- Not the entire fucking bag, you idiot! Put four or five in your mouth and it chews like a charm. That's a fucking guy. Oh, he's getting air? He's coming for air? They do not have the texture you expect them to. Yeah, now how about you eat the ones I asked you to? I thought they'd be chewy.

They are chewy. Oh, they're not chewy? Of course they're chewy. No, they're not like gummy chewy. I thought they'd be gummy chewy. What kind of chewy are they? They're still starburst-y. They're like 85% as chewy as starburst- or like as- they're like a little bit softer and a little bit

more chewy than a starburst. But not by much. But it's nice. And they're small, so they're like a little bit softer and a little bit more chewy than a starburst but not by much but it's nice and they're small so they're like they're like i would say one of these things is maybe a quarter the size of one starburst i think these are a better snack and candy i'll give you that yeah i didn't if i was in the mood for starburst i'd take these over over the other time i will never eat another starburst again I will only have these mini Starbursts. Do not try to eat the whole bag at once. This is terrible. I'm going to try...

Well, I don't know what my shit tastes like. I'm going to try your sour, big, chewy Nerds. It's like all of my saliva is gummy flavored right now. But they're not gummy in texture. Not gummy in texture, no. Just my entire mouth tastes like, oh, this is not good. I like your big sour nerds,

but they're not sour. They're way better. They're way better than the base nerds. I like the base chewy nerds better, I think. Big chewy nerds in the yellow package, but these are pretty good. If only we had a third person to make rulings on things.

I know. Oops. Have you had these candies, Eric? Yeah, I don't think I've had a Kinder Bueno, but I know what Jeff's thing is. I like them. Why'd you say it like it was filth? Because Kinder Bueno seems like a non-American candy.

How does Albania feel about the Kinder Bueno? Because there's a commercial for Kinder Bueno, I think, where a guy's riding his bicycle, and I think it's clear that it's not... They're trying to pass it off like, oh, we filmed this here, and it's not. It's a foreign commercial. You can tell. You can just look at it and be like, this isn't right.

So I vote Jeff's candy is the winner. There we go. There's the pile of candy. That's a really shit photo, Jeff. I don't know why. That's what we've established. Jeff's the worst photo taker. I don't know why. That's what we've established. Jeff's the worst photo taker. I'm just happy that it's centered. I don't understand

what's going on with that photo or where that photo came from. That's not the photo I took. What do you mean? You just took it and posted it. Here's the photo I took and posted. I don't understand why it came out differently. What are you talking about? Those are separate images. What are you saying?? Those are separate images.

What are you saying? I must have taken the other one without even realizing it. He took like a... What? I'm putting my phone back in my pocket photo. Yeah, I took a... I'm putting my phone back in my pocket photo for sure. All right, I'm going to try this kinder boy now. Oh, it is sideways.

You're right. That is... I'm putting the phone back down. Yeah. That's incredible. And you just sent it without even looking at it. That could have been bad. I'm glad you phone back down. Yeah. That's incredible. And you just sent it without even looking at it. That could have been bad. I'm glad you're wearing pants.

Well, I just sent the most recent photo, because that's the one I thought I took. I wasn't really... This is nice. Which one do you want now? The Kinder Bueno. It's a really creamy chocolate, and then the wafer is really, it's really light. It's a really light wafer. I think it's made by the same people as the Ferrero people.

I think it's the same company. Which own, don't they own Nutella? That was weird to me to discover. Do they? Ferrero Rocher company owns Nutella. Because Nutella to me doesn't at all fit the tone of that company, like Ferreira Rocher is like a fancy ass chocolate, in my head,

where Nutella, you can buy a three pack for like three quid, feels like a kid's candy, like it feels like a child's spread, I could have phrased that better, but like a schoolyard, I'm just going to give up, I'm not going to describe what i think nutella

is that's the episode title a child spread all right so we'll we'll uh we'll need to get these candies to gavin so he can be the final determiner um i'm gonna go ahead and go one to four i'm gonna go uh mini starburst all the Reds number one. Kinder Bueno close second. Third The Yellow Bag of Nerds fourth Andrew's Candy. No offense. I like you did it in the least tense order. No suspense

involved. Do you really care? Do you want me to go back and do it the other way? Alright coming in at fourth place. I like it a lot. It's my least favorite of the bunch but I still thought it was fourth place. I liked it a lot. It's my least favorite of the bunch, but I still thought it was really good. I'm still going to eat it all the time. I'm still a fan.

I'm still a stan. Don't get me wrong, but you got to have a best, and you got to have a worst of the bunch. Worst of the bunch for me, number four, Sour Big Chewy Nerds. Coming in just a little bit edging out, the Sour Big Chewy Nerds is going to be the yellow bag of nerds. That's right. In third place, bronze medal goes to big, chewy nerds, no sour.

Then it was a tight, tight, tight race between silver and gold. Very tight race. The Olympics has not seen a race this tight in years, right? Coming in at number two, runner-up in case number one can't fulfill its duties as the best candy in the world. Number two, Kinder Bueno, which case number one can't fulfill its duties as the best candy in the world number two kinder bueno which leaves number one mini starburst all the red what is what is the reverse of the salad cream because that's what that was that was equally we didn't that was that's not needed you got what you asked I agree well that's

like the reverse of a salad cream like you delivered but it was equally once again I don't need the tux off to the wedding Nick and Eric both liked it thank you guys I thought it was

good too I'm a fan but it's just a reverse of a salad cream you mean you mean I did the opposite of what you did with the salad cream well thanks for that compliment I appreciate of what you did with the salad cream? Well, thanks for that compliment. I appreciate it, buddy.

I guess it is a compliment. I guess this is a weird way. I didn't mean it as one, but I guess I did just compliment you. That wasn't intended to be that. Is that the first unintended, unenthusiastic compliment we've had in face? You can't take it back. It was a compliment. It's a regulation compliment. It's on the books

It's official not a ray 22 Regulation compliment Eric Eric is our judge. He said it Schwartz Nick said it as well Congratulations to me. What do you even call that like a side handed compliment a sideways compliment? Yeah sideways compliment fun fact about the sideways compliment Dusty Baker invented it in like 1985. Yeah, it's a great fact. I like that this podcast started as a baseball podcast about a baseball player that we no longer ever talk about or mention in this what the show is named after.

On our list of baseball people. Wait, are you not doing your list of candy who cares about my list i can't top what jeff just did he reversed salad creamed it i can't do anything better than that but i can't god damn it all right well if nobody else is going to review the candy then i get to declare mini starburst all the reds well i want the Andrew shit. Well, I want to hear Andrew's shit too. And then I need you to tie break it, Gavin. And then we may have to get Nick and Eric involved. Well, where did you,

could you go through the list again of where you ranked them? Because I don't want to tie break a rank of four. Here's what we're going to do. We're going to assign a point value to each one. The first place gets four points. Second place gets two or three.

You see what I'm saying? You've Andrewed me all up. So four points right now. Four points right now for mini Starburst Flavor Reds. Three points for a Kinder Bueno. We've got two points for the Big Chewy Nerds and then one point for the Sour Big Chewy Nerds. So then we'll have Andrews

and Gavins. I feel like this system only works if we anonymously submit beforehand because I'm going to put four points on the sour nerds because I just I want them in and that's fine. I'm putting one point on the Starburst because it's currently as four. I'll just do the reverse

of what Jeff has done. You're a fool. Why am I a fool? Now see here's the problem. I asked for honest evaluations of the candy and Andrew has gamified it. Well, you just did this whole thing. No, listen. No, be quiet for a second.

You idiot. You just said you wanted Gavin to be the tiebreaker. Stupid. If I give four to your number one, then there's no tiebreak break we don't need the other number i said he's there to be the tie breaker if we need it but i misheard that i apologize that's on me that's just a direct apology i didn't hear that part i missed that part of what you said i apologize number four i would make if we're doing a genuine review that was a regulation

apology and this is going to be a regulation review in this moment i'm going to be honest about my opinions of all these in the same scoring system i'm doing the same scoring system but i'm gonna do it should i no no not that okay do i go lowest first do i build to what my number one is number number one. Getting one point. The lowest on this totem pole is to me the standard nerds. That was a great burp that I threw in at the same time. A little extra for you on the side. I'm going with the gummy nerds, number one, because there is a superior version of it.

Wait, number four or number one? Number one. One point. Getting one point at the bottom. That's number four. No. No, it's not. Number four is the most. Coming in at number four with one point. Okay, we four no no it's not number four is the number four with no

point okay we're getting these all mixed up i'm giving you are no it's coming in at number four but it's getting one point on the list okay one point coming in at four with one point is the nerd the standard nerds the regulars, the regular yellow, yellow bag nerds, the yellow bag nerds. One point fourth place coming in at third place is the Starburst shoes. I just did not the biggest Starburst fan. I don't really care for them, but they're good. Like for what they are, they're good.

I think that's the best version of Starburst. They've innovated on a thing that I didn't realize they could innovate on. I give them credit. They get two points in third place in second place with three points is the kinder bueno they're good wow i'm never gonna offer these but i'll never be sad that they're there and number one because i picked it it's like obviously a bias my favorite personal candy is the sour nerd so i'm giving that four points so So that gives us a two place tie, a two candy tie for first right now, right?

With the Starburst having four points for me and two for you, that gives them six. And then my Kinder Bueno and your Kinder Bueno both coming in with three points each gives them six. So Gavin will have to be the deciding factor. We'll have to get these candies to him. I wonder which you will pick. Ooh.

His favorite candy or some other candy. Well, it depends. He hasn't tried them. That's fair. And also, if I think that the Kinder Bueno is the second best candy, and you think the Kinder Bueno is the second best candy, and Gavin truly thinks it's the best candy,

then it is clearly the winner. I don't... I feel like this clearly the winner. I don't... I feel like this is gonna... Because I don't... Can we all agree, outside of Gavin, that Kinder Bueno is not the best candy? It's a very good candy. But it's not the best candy.

That's what he put up, dude. We can only write what he gives us. I understand. This is what's gonna fucking happen, though. What is that Denzel Washington train movie? Money Train? No, it's not that. It's not the taking a Pelham 123.

What was the name of Unbreakable? No. What was what was the name of it? Bruce Willis? No, it's Chris Pine and Denzel Washington. And yes, Tony Scott movie. I watched that movie on mute on a plane once. I didn't hear a single word that was said,

but I watched the entire movie. Unstoppable, thank you. Unstoppable. We have an unstoppable problem with this candy thing. Nick said train in day. If you go on, let me pull it up.

I think Unstoppable has like a 90 on Rotten Tomatoes, but nobody thinks it's great. It's just universally like that was a totally fine movie. Like it's solid. Like it's solid. Nobody hates it. It has an 87. That is not an 87% movie.

Can I just say, if you are a regulation listener or a comment leaver, or you're a regulation listener who would like to become a comment leaver, let us know how you feel about Unstoppable. Is it your favorite train movie? Is it your favorite movie? Is Andrew wrong? Are there hardcore Pine and Washington train stands out there? We want to know.

What is my favorite train movie? I didn't like the Taking a Palm 1, 2, 3, but I haven't seen the original. John Travolta one was not great. Snowpiercer is a good train movie. Does speed count? Why would speed be a train movie? Because it ends on a train.

Yeah, but the point of the movie is not the train. What about the core? That's sort of a train that goes into the earth. That's an earth train. That's a great bad movie. What was that Gene Wilder train? an earth train that's a great bad movie what was that gene wilder uh train oh yeah silver streak

with uh gene wilder and richard prior yeah that was a train movie although that movie's from the 70s and it's a it was an edgy comedy so it probably hasn't held up well in terms of being problematic. I remember the seed that you're referring to. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Also, if you guys would look, I posted a picture of the sour, big, chewy nerds. I don't know if you guys noticed it, but doesn't it look like that nerd

is shitting out a penis? It does. Like, doesn't that seem like they should have noticed? They should have caught that in cue. It looks like the bottom rung of a set of anal does. Like, doesn't that seem like they should have noticed? They should have caught that in cue. Yeah, it looks like the bottom rung of a set of anal beads. Yeah, it really does seem like he's got the last anal bead sticking out. You would think they would have caught that. I would argue the big chewy one is even worse, Jeff.

I ripped, unfortunately, where, if you could look at your big chewy bag. Oh, on the right? On the right? Yes, it is. Hold on, I'm taking a photo. It is, like, protruding out of his bag on the right it is like protruding out of his ass it is halfway out

it looks like he just took a shit and the pink one is a hemorrhoid he's got a hemorrhoid and then Eric's going to lose his mind if we don't stop talking so I'll add that up also we should mention while I'm uploading this tiki mugs are on

sale now unless they've already sold out Eric and I did a ton of videos and promo for them the other day and I had just the nicest time together there you go oh it looks like a little he's licking his lips he's so happy it's like somebody pushed this thing back in looks like a little

wait are they nerds are we eating those is this the yeah we're eating we're eating nerd shit well no that's not what i meant but that's also terrible well what what did you mean are we eating the physical nerd i meant like are you like it's the character the thing in your mouth you know how like when you have a prawn there's a digestive tract that you can remove From it like Are we eating Are you asking

That's like a cheap prawn still has the shit Tract down the spine But you have to eat a bag of prawn Colons Are they deep fried Yeah I'll eat them I've been eating deveined nerds all day long Why isn't Tempura used in more places Okay goodbye eat them. I've been eating de-veined nerds all day long.

Why isn't tempura used in more places? Okay, goodbye. Thank you. What do you mean, Eric? Thank you, goodbye. Have a good one. TikiMug, startRGC.com. Goodbye. We're cutting all the pleasantries out. No, no, the pleasantries are in. Oh, no. And also, it's been well over an hour. He's got a point. Yeah, no, I do. I know. I'm very aware.

Nobody said anything while someone was opening something also once again why doesn't like McDonald's do temper I also for the record no way this morning I was acting this morning I got three more hotcakes Jeff just say goodbye I I got three more hotcakes. Jeff, just say goodbye. I gotta go. I'm tired. The hack still works. I'm going back to bed. I'm going back to bed.

All right. Good night. Bye. Hey, guys. Minor League fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face. Episode 91 is Spanky Dandy. We still don't know the origins of Jingle, Jingle, Jingle. Gavin gets to the bottom of illegal knobs.

Someone stole the idea of usingle, Jingle, Jingle. Gavin gets to the bottom of illegal knobs. Someone stole the idea of using witchcraft to fix football. Gavin's razor blade slot is full. And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face.