Regulation Podcast - Potato Talk // Bald Concert Goers [170]

Episode Date: September 6, 2023

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew are STILL talking about potatoes… but also how Andrew’s never tried eggs, ketchup brands, sports names, Andrew’s stalker, Stevie Nicks, people who video entire concerts, how reflective bald heads are, the most appetizing land animals, compiling a worst songs ever playlist, and Geoff receives a surprise gift mid episode.  Sponsored by Shady Rays http://shadyrays.com and use code FACE , DraftKings Sportsbook Download the DraftKings sportsbook app now and use code REGULATION to sign up. New customers can take home $200 in bonus bets when they bet just $5.  Subscribe to Geoff's new podcast https://link.chtbl.com/soalright Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

🎵 Hello and welcome to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast. This is episode 170 of season... volume... My name is Geoffrey. Antonio has more potassium than a banana. And Gavin Free. Right out the gate, as has been previously discussed, we are a vegetable podcast.

We have some interesting vegetable facts for you. This episode, we're going to focus on potatoes. Andrew, what's your potato fact? Russet Burbank has been around since 1872. That's two different facts. You have two facts? A potato has more potassium in it than a banana. Thank you.

Thank you. That's a fact. Okay. Eric, what's your potato fact? My potato fact is that PepsiCo sued some Indian farmers for cultivating the FC5 potato variety, accusing growers of infringing on their potato patent. Pepsi? Pepsi. Because they own lays oh

Yeah, you don't think about the conglomerate. Yeah So that's just like a filing cabinet of patents and then they get to pee and it's just a shitload of different potato ones I guess so yeah, they get to pee Fuck I gotta go in the pee it's, fuck. I got to go in the pee. It's going to take me all day to get past the potatoes. Nick, what's your Pepsi or potato related fact? Pepsi? An eight ounce baked or boiled potato has only about 100 calories before you add delicious things like sour cream, cheese and bacon to it.

I agree with some of those ingredients. Andrew, how about you? Or no, the other one. Gavin, how about you? Or no, the other one. Gavin, how about you? A potato has more potassium in it than a banana. A potato, when it's gone green, has a buildup of a toxin that can be very harmful to animals and humans.

It kills over 0.25 people a year. Jesus. That was almost my fact. Oh. I genuinely almost picked poison potato fact. I had a feeling that it was,

Gavin was going to pick that fact because Gavin always gravitates to things that can kill you. It was an important part of my fruit and veg days to get rid of the green potatoes from the shelf. Between 1865 and 1983,

30 people died from green potatoes from the shelf. Between 1865 and 1983, 30 people died from green potatoes. Wow. My fact is there is such a thing as a half tomato, half potato called the tomtato, also known as the pomato. The tomtato is the product of a grafted potato plant and tomato plant, an efficient strategy that grows both potatoes and tomatoes, and there is little to no effect on the quality. If this is your first time listening to F*** Face, we do

talk about potatoes at the beginning of every episode, so stay tuned. Do you think Dr. Seuss killed anybody with the green potato? Because they did a whole green eggs and ham, right? Yes. So, like, that seems fun. Did he have green spuds? No, right? Yes. So, like, that seems fun. Did he have green spuds?

No, but I'm just saying, like, if green eggs and ham are great, then why wouldn't a green potato be great? Can I ask you a question? Yeah. You were a kid at one point. Uh-huh. You enjoyed Dr. Seuss, as I did. I think I assume we all did.

Did you ever eat green eggs after, like, eating? I've never had eggs. Reading green eggs and ham never made me want to eat green eggs it made me want to avoid green eggs i love how many times in this podcast a conversation about eggs just gets completely shut down by andrew having never had an egg i forgot that you never had eggs i don't do we have to do something? Is that something we have to fix? At some point, it's probably a good idea. Probably open up a lot of doors for me. Well, what format of egg do you think you'd go for?

I feel like I've scrambled. I feel like I've definitely had scrambled eggs and, like, other things, like fried rice, but, like, I've never just had scrambled eggs. Have you had pasta? Ooh. Yeah? Here's what we should do. We should prepare eggs for Andrew in all the common ways over easy

over meat sunny side up scrambled quiche hard boiled fried poach uh yeah and quiche like a bunch of eggs in a like a thing it's mostly egg though i'm just thinking of that like ways people eat eggs the most common ways people eat eggs yeah and then let him let him explore i like that let him find the right egg for him eggs for andrew yeah that's a good idea you know who else had a good idea the parker brothers in 1903 had a game called the potato race it's another good idea should we all play it find a coffee the potato rice what do you think it is oh it's probably like snakes and ladders but potatoes

potatoes and bags go up the potato down the bag that would be my guess uh I don't know up the potato well you're all acting like that's

fucking nonsensical when the base game is snakes and ladders like that fucking makes sense sliding down the snakes climbing up the ladder is pretty logical but the snake part is ridiculous oh see it's sort of you you know,

Snakes and Ladders was a straight shot. Jeff found Hot Potato, which is not what we're talking about, but is a potato-based game. Dude, they look awesome. Look at this one. Look at this other version of it. Yeah, that looks pretty cool.

Those kids are having the time of their life throwing a potato in the air. Those look a lot cooler, the Hot Potato games, than Potato Race, which just is a straight board. I don't understand. Is it just whoever can roll 25 first? Like, what is... I really appreciate a board with no twists or turns.

Just go along and collect your potatoes, my son. What if you have to bake a potato every time you land on a potato? There's like a 45 minute time penalty, essentially, every time you got to preheat the oven. I'm kind of bored for that, but I don't I don't even I don't see where the game is. Eric, you're famously known for hating board games. I get it. If this is your point of reference. Yep. That yeah. Potato race is my point of reference i assume so gavin is are there's are there board games in like the

uk that we just like never got here in the us and you're like oh this would be a good one what like cluedo i am just clear right yeah isn't just yeah that wasn't fun i thought there should there there has to be there has to be real answers to that i have discovered something in the process of looking at potatoes what have you discovered have you guys is it is it that in 1974 eric jenkins grew 370 pounds from a single potato point no it's that there's something called potato smiles you can buy yeah i had those for dinner almost every night. I would have those and I'd have turkey dinosaurs,

and that was the ultimate dinner on like a Thursday night. You've never seen a potato smile, Jeff? No, never in my life have I seen a McCain potato smile. You put ketchup in the ice. What? Eric, are you familiar with this? Am I crazy? I am only aware of these because I had them in Japan when I went to a fast food place and they had potato smiley things.

So it's okay. It's the only reason I had them. Nick, are you familiar with this at all? Nick isn't here. Oh, right. He had to leave. Did you have him with these? Yeah, absolutely.

Dino nuggets and big smiley potatoes. That's fine. Yeah, that's a really fun meal. Never. If I had, dude, I'm mad now. I'm mad that smiley potatoes have existed my whole life and I haven't been eating them daily. You could go to a store right now.

If you squeeze ketchup on the plate first and then smushed a smiley down into the ketchup, it would ooze out of the mouth and eyes. I bet you can't. Let me look at that potato smiles. I mean, Gracie said that potato smiles were served at her public schools. Wow.

I checked. All right, well, here you go. I checked. H-E-B does not sell potatoes. Doesn't sell potato smiles. At all? In any form? No. They have no potato paws? They have potatoes. No potato frowns. They got nothing? Yeah, they don they have no potato paws they have potatoes they got nothing yeah they don't have any potato faces whatsoever it's not something that i ever encountered i mean gracie's saying walmart and i found it at walmart i guess so i don't do my grocery shopping at

walmart but maybe i should start you should if it's fucking fuck heb if they don't have potato smiles yeah fuck heb yeah i'll say it i'll say it again fuck heb nick you can isolate that if it's the fucking fuck H-E-B if they don't have potato smiles. Yeah, fuck H-E-B. Yeah, I'll say it. I'll say it again. Fuck H-E-B. Nick, you can isolate that when you come back from your meeting. Can we sell face potato frowns? No.

The answer's no. Can we sell sad potatoes? Yeah, a bunch of frowns in a bag. The answer's no. Pissed potatoes. Walmart doesn't really have them either they have one bag for $132 that says McCain or Ida smiles

fun shaped potatoes four pounds six per case you gotta buy it by the case it's not like you're getting individual servings here at least on the Walmart.com that's what it's like to ship stuff to Andrew yeah hey audience have you eaten potato smiles how have I not heard of this they're all they're all Yeah. Yeah. Hey, audience, have you eaten Potato Smiles? How have I not heard of this?

They're all... I don't know. They're all like 19, so they've all eaten these Potato Smiles. Good Lord. Must have been invented after me. Definitely. Oh, for sure. Wow. Gracie found them for $3.92.

I'm just saying. That's the same. Should we have a bowl of them for when we do the chips? It's like a palate cleanser. A palate... What? I mean, Jeff would love that. Yeah.

Yeah. Can we do that? Yeah, we can have... Gracie, I need you to buy potato smileys for Monday. Thank you. And maybe some ketchup. Thank you, Gracie.

Yeah, we'll definitely need some ketchup. But just like regular ketchup. We don't need fancy ketchup or like spicy ketchup or anything like that. Yeah. Yeah, just like bog standard ketchup. We overcomplicate ketchup lately. I'm not into it.

Really? Yeah. You're not a fan of... Did you ever try the glitter ketchup? No, I'm a ketchup purist. No. What? Are you a Heinz guy, I assume? I i don't give a shit i don't care about brand i i have no ketchup brand loyalty none no why would i care i'm shocked there are people in canada that are very passionate about ketchup what is a what's a beloved ketchup

in canada well it used to be heinz was obviously like the leader, but then they closed a bunch of plants or whatever, I believe, in Canada. And then French's came in and made a bunch of like Canadian ketchup products. And so French is the sort of viewed as like the loyal. If you if you want to be a Canadian loyalist, you're French's ketchup consumer. Oh, interesting. I've never had French's ketchup before. It's not great. I think Heinz is a superior product in every way.

Do you like the French's mustard? I do. Yeah, but I don't use mustard on a lot of things. Big Honey Mustard Guy, not a huge just base mustard guy. I like Coleman's's coleman's good yeah it's the type of mustard that's if you have too much of it it's like someone's sticking their fingers up your nose really yeah really powerful well i'm glad you discovered smile potatoes jeff i am too yeah you didn't know as a man of culture I'm surprised that this has snuck past you I think it's just one

of those things where uh my fucking front door just opened up on its own it's a gentle ghost that's the kind of thing you hear it's like someone's last sentence hold on a second I'll be if you hear a gunshot call

the police would we be able to hear it with the noise cancelling? Yeah, my noise suppression would. Now, Gavin, when you call the police, are you going to open with talk to me? And they're going to be like, you called me. What are you talking about? Do you know what? I have a sports related note on my phone.

Do you? Really? I don't think I've ever had anything sport related ever to talk about. Okay, what you got? I feel bad that Jeff's going to miss this yep we can fill him in yeah okay all right i'm alive who do you think has the most sportsman name in entertainment but is in fact not anything to do with sports oh tom cruise could be a great surfer I picked Wayne Brady I think are you thinking like Tom Brady? yeah that just sounds really American and sporty do they have to be alive today

or can it be somebody from the past yeah it could be anyone Rock Hudson great baseball that's a really good baseball player this is a tough question Yeah, great baseball. That's a really good baseball gut player. Yeah. This is a tough question. Tom Cruise is immediate.

Do you have any other answers? I think Charlie Chaplin is a good baseball name. Oh. The double cha. Yeah. He feels like he'd steal a lot of bases. Yep. But that would be his thing. Mm-hmm. The double ch. Yeah. He feels like he'd steal a lot of bases. Yep. But that would be his thing.

Mm-hmm. Randy Quaid also feels like... Oh, that's a good one. That's a great one. Randy Quaid's a great one. Yeah. Maybe on the next break show, if we get some non-sport-themed cards to open, we can make a sports pile. A sport, not sport pile. I sport themed cards to open, we can put some, make like a sports

pile, like a sport, not sport pile. I like that. A sport, not sport pile. Kevin Hart. I feel like Kevin Hart's a good sports name. That is pretty good. That is really good. It's hard for me to get out of the baseball mindset. I love baseball. I have the best one.

Okay. Cheech Marin. Oh, that's a great... Oh, yeah. Cheech is like the perfect baseball man. And it's got the chuh sounds that Eric likes. Two of them. Yeah. Yep.

I like Dean Cain as an Olympic wrestler. Dude, Dean Cain was on the tip of my tongue. That's a great one. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. I had a very f*** face evening recently. I can tell you guys about. Please do. I had a tear i had a very face evening recently i could tell you guys about please do i had a real double whammy i uh so i bought myself a refurbished laptop recently

very cheap so i have that i've been enjoying that i've been enjoying i've been uh laying in bed at nights filling the 20 000 list has been part of my recently. How many are you getting down each night? I'm trying to hit around 150 per night is my goal. And it's surprisingly difficult because I'm just trying to think of things off the top of my head. And the thing notifies me if it's a duplicate or not. And there's nothing worse than hitting a duplicate. Somebody in the community made a spreadsheet that did that. And thank you, whoever you are. I really appreciate it. So how many is on the list? Well, you know, I like to leave it a surprise. Maybe it's close, maybe it's

not. Who knows? Yeah, maybe it's not. It'll just appear. When you complete the list, should we sell a poster that's just Andrew's 20,000 things, and it just has it all on it? Here's what we should do. We should have Andrew start the print at the beginning of an episode and see if it finishes by the end. That's what we should do. We should have Andrew start the print at the beginning of an episode

and see if it finishes by the end. That's a great idea. I like that idea. But anyway. Is poster on the list? No. I'll write that down right now. Poster.

19,999 things to go. So, no. I got way more than that. So I've been doing that. That's been my bedside ritual. We talked about it in the last episode. We've all been excited, or at least Jeff and I have. got way more than that so i've been doing that that's been my bedside ritual i've been we talked about the last episode we've been we've all been excited or at least jeff and i have happy walking around filled with energy i found it difficult to sleep at a reasonable hour recently just because

i've been so excited and just like happy um and the other night i finally it was like 10 o'clock and i was like i'm actually really tired. Like I can go to bed. This might actually be the thing that shifts my sleep schedule. This is perfect. And so I walked to bed and I accidentally I forgot that I put my laptop at the side of the bed. It's in the dark. I hit my laptop with my foot.

It hits my end table. And for my birthday, as you guys know, I like listening to rain, rain music as a birthday gift. I was giving us a given a small fountain, which has been on my bedside table and it takes two gerblers of water. So I kick my laptop,

hits the table. My fountain falls off of the end table, pours two gerblers worth of water all over the floor. I am livid. I was so cozy. I was so ready to go to bed. And now I have two liters of water all over my laptop and just the floor in general. So I have to go to the laundry room, get towels.

I fix everything. And then through my window, I'm finally, everything's clear. I'm finally in bed. I'm like, Jesus fucking Christ. I woke up. I'm not nearly as sleepy as I was, but maybe I could still fall asleep. And I look through my door and I see a light, which is typically not that big of a problem. But earlier in that week, I woke up at like 2 a.m. I fell asleep at 1, woke up at 2, and I noticed that there was a flashlight through my door, like in sort of a forested area I could see. And I thought, huh, that's weird, but it's fucking, it's late, and I'm gonna mind my

own business, so I'm just gonna go back to sleep. So I go back to sleep. I wake up like at 2.30, and I look through my door again and there's small remnants of a fire. Somebody lit a fire between the time I fell asleep and woke up and it's just going out now like an, a fire. And I'm looking at, I'm like, what do I, do I call the cops? Cause it goes out within like a minute or two of it happening nobody is there I'm assuming whoever had the light lit the fire and then did whatever

and left and I just caught the end of it and it I kind of felt like I should call 911 but at the same time it's like what do I report like there's not a fire there's the remnants of like I didn't know what to call in and it was so late so I didn't so I ignored it and was it just some woods like it wasn't anyone's land no it was yeah it was so late. So I didn't. So I ignored it. And was it just some woods?

Like it wasn't anyone's land? No, it was. Yeah, it's just like a grass area. I could see through from my bed through the door. What time? What time is this? This is like two thirty a.m. So it's odd.

It's a strange year. What you have is a mystery. Now you're going to have to stake out every night at two thirty to see if they come back and do it again. So that's the thing. So I knock over all my water. It's over my ipad it's on the floor i'm laying in bed and i see a light that isn't quite the same but it's pretty close and i think you gotta be fucking kidding me like i am ready to go to bed but now i got this fucker with a light out there again

and i just gotta stare down and see if they do anything and if another fire gets lit I'll have to immediately call 911 so I'm just sitting there for like 30 minutes and I'm staring at this light and it's just kind of hanging out it's around the same spot that the fire was and I'm

just I'm waiting I'm getting progressively annoyed and I decide like oh like what if I accidentally fall asleep I'm just I'm waiting. I'm getting progressively annoyed. And I decide like, oh, like, what if I accidentally fall asleep? I'm feeling stress. My partner was still awake at this time. So I texted my partner like, hey, just so you know, I think the light is out there again. I told you about it's you might be able to see it in the room. You're in through the window. If you look look it's in this direction and so they they text me back i don't see anything where is it and i i was like it's it's in this you know what i'm just gonna i'll just take a picture of what i'm looking at and i'll send it to you and then that way they'll they'll know where to look so i take photo i take the photo my flash is on i'm trying to be covert my entire wall just goes bright and i'm like oh fuck and then it does the flicker i'm trying to be covert my entire wall just goes bright and i'm like oh fuck and then it does the flicker i'm gonna this is it for for the public to see but i'll post in our chat that's the photo

i realize upon taking the photo that i have not been having a stare down with a man with a flashlight that it is in fact a parked car with a street light reflecting off of it that i interpreted at a light as a light at a distance i had like a 40 minute stare down in bed with a parked car and then i had to explain i'm an idiot it's not just it's fine don't worry about it it's just a car did you keep did you send that picture yes yes i did because i couldn't i couldn't make out what it was and that's zoomed in all the way on my phone and i was like wait a second when i looked at the flash photo this isn't that's just a vehicle i'm an idiot what if uh what if there was somebody in that car staking you out the whole time, though?

Oh, shit. Yeah. Like, what's that car doing there? Is it there all the time? No, it's an unusual car. Cars aren't typically parked there. Yeah, there you go. Look, it was the only thing I could rent, all right?

I think it's pretty impressive that you had a rivalry with a car for more than half an hour. I did. Really impressive. Would you say the car won uh yeah i would definitely say the car won what what made you get up to go and uh knock everything over no i that was me going to bed i was at my desk and i decided it's time for sleep i'm actually tired this is great i accidentally kicked the laptop hits the end table fountain goes over the side water everywhere such a precarious place to keep

running war is the was the laptop was the laptop okay i've been scared to try it since that's happened wait you haven't tried it you don't know not since that has happened no what have you been doing with it like you don't even turn it on if it's wet you want to leave it to dry out first before trying i do that but also like i just don't it's it's like schrodinger's cat or whatever currently i don't know if it's broken and as long as i don't check it it's still working it's not broken until you check that it's broken so exactly yeah yeah i have a lot of friendships like that. Your laptop is like Andrew Schrodinger's cat? I have to know if it works or doesn't. Can you just let us know when you actually try it?

I'm so curious. But don't be in a hurry. No, yeah, you don't have to be in a hurry. Let your cat sleep or exist or don't exist or whatever you need. Speaking of Flash, I saw the funniest fucking thing. Like two nights ago, Emily and I went and saw Stevie Nicks perform in Austin.

Oh, shit, really? She had a concert at the Moody Center. And I'm okay with Stevie Nicks. I like her music. I like Flea with Mac okay. But it's like Emily's favorite musician. That's awesome. Stevie Nicks, her and Dolly Parton like Flea with Mac, okay? But it's like Emily's favorite musician, Stevie Nicks,

her and Dolly Parton. And so it's a big fucking deal for Emily. And I was really happy to go and we had really cool seats and stuff. And the most interesting thing was like, I guess she's popular

on TikTok in some way, her music is, because it was full of like teenagers and young people and old people, right? Like I expected everybody there to be, she's 75.

I expected everybody there to be like 60 to 80. And there were definitely a lot of those people, but I was amazed at how many young people were there. But the fucking funniest thing, I don't, well, first off, I don't go to a lot of concerts anymore. Can I, can I, can I make a plea to other concert goers? Put your fucking phone down! Stop recording the entire two-hour concert! You're not watching the show, you're watching through a fucking screen, and then I guarantee you're never gonna watch that video again, you dumbass! You're ruining your own experience, and you're ruining everybody else's experience because your phone is in my fucking peri- is in my line of sight! Put it down and look at her.

Don't look at her through your fucking phone. Anyway. I always felt the same way about fireworks and people filming concerts and that made more sense, I'd say a decade ago, but now it's just, it's people's Instagram.

What the fuck, man? I know. I just watched, there were these two dudes in front of me and I'm off on a side track. It's not even the point I was trying to make, but there were these two dudes in front of me who they seemed lovely other than the fact that they both they're together.

Right. First off, they're together. Right. They came together. They're clearly together. They're holding hands at times and stuff. So they probably, you know, they're intimate with each other, whether they live together or not.

They're around each other a lot is the impression I get. And they're both filming the entire fucking concert it's like maybe one of you film or maybe take turns and you film for the first half and you film for the second half and then we just swap videos or maybe you don't need two hours of Stevie Nicks through a grainy fucking phone

maybe you could just enjoy the concert regardless the thing I wanted to point out is the lady next to me who was an older woman uh she was up into the front of me she was filming with her phone but she didn't understand that her flashlight came on every time she filmed so every time she wanted to film for 10 or 15 minutes straight she blared off her fucking light into the dude in front of me who was like one of the two dudes who was very bald. And it was just all I could see for an hour and a half was a spotlight on a bald dude's head in front of me instead of Stevie Nicks.

The only time I could see Stevie Nicks was when I could catch her through his screen or his partner's screen. It was a phenomenal concert. But old people don't understand flashlights. The flash isn't working. You're 185,000 feet away from the stage. You're only illuminating the chair and the bald man in front of you. And nobody in her family tells her.

Nobody is like, hey, it's fucking uncomfortable because this guy's super bald. And so it's like the sun right in front see because this guy's bought blop. He's super bald. And so it's like fucking, it's like the sun right in front of me in an otherwise dark room. Oh my God. I always wonder when looking at clips of like Taylor Swift concerts, where there's enough people that, you know,

if everyone jumped, you would sink New Zealand with a tidal wave or something. There's so many phones on with so many lights on that it would probably be, if you got all that footage in one place, the coolest time slice footage of all time. You can make like real bullet time of everyone's, of the whole performance. It's insane.

I wonder how many frames, I wonder how many pictures of her every second are being taken. Dude, there was another lady over to the right who I also was annoyed by. She would just do snap chats over and over again she would like hit it and fill the little thing up and then do another one and it just like like she wasn't even just recording with her video she was just she must have made

180,000 nine second snaps or reels or whatever the fuck it was just over and over and over again like the amount of the workload alone i don't know how she enjoyed the concert. She was so busy. You know how on Instagram, if someone's put up a lot of stories, you go for like quick taps to like get through it. If I see like 11 stories and the first one is like a concert, I'll just go straight swipe.

Like I'm not even tapping through that. I'm going to skip to the whole next person. I'll do you one better. If I do, if I open it up and I see like 11 or 12 of those in a row, I just close Instagram. I just close the fucking app and move on with my life.

Like, ugh. I don't understand why people, and I know for a, well, I can't say I know for a fact, but I know for a fact they're not looking,

they're not using that footage. They weren't professional photographers, clearly. So they don't, they're not using it for some, for some work related thing. And I know they're not going home and some for some work related thing and i know they're not going home and watching that video later like the i understand wanting to capture

the moment take a couple photos i took like a 30 second i took like 30 seconds of her singing landslide so i can send it to my mom and just be like hey check it out you know you like her this was cool she still got it look at her listen to her voice it's awesome but like that's the appropriate amount but why why do we feel the need to record every single thing that happens in front of us i mean i i do that i i appreciate the way you do it gavin if you were at the stevie nicks concert you wouldn't have been up there with your phone for two straight hours no i would yeah i wouldn't film an event with that no i took you you you and you and i went to an austin fc game we went to the very first austin fc game you didn't film the entire

game from your chair and your phone. No, I did keep taking pictures of the crowd opposite though, because I kept trying to zoom in and find where Jack was. Yeah, that was fun. That was a game we were playing. That was fun. I think we got him in the end, didn't we? We found him? We did. Did you get him? I probably still have that photo on my phone. Good. That's great.

Wherever you're going, you better believe american express will be right there with you heading for adventure we'll help you breeze through security meeting friends a world away you can use your travel credit squeezing every drop out of the last day how about a 4 p.m late checkout you just need a nice place to settle in enjoy your room upgrade wherever you go we'll go together that's the powerful backing of american express visit amex.ca slash ymx benefits vary by card terms apply i had one of the most embarrassing moments i've had recently and it was a musician musician related you know about this gavin oh one of the most uh just obnoxious um mistakes i've had that was very embarrassing shanae o'connor died recently

yes uh and upon fun learning about her death i attempted to make a joke and it did not land very well um i had learned that she had passed and in the group of people i was with my response was to go well hopefully she doesn't turn into a zombie zombie zombie and then nobody yeah that's delores o'reardon from the critters yeah that's Delores O'Riordan from the yeah she's also dead the response was she doesn't sing that song I have the only thing I've known about Sinead O'Connor is that she was in the cranberries that

was yeah she's not the only that's yeah I learned that yeah it did not lay well I was very embarrassed you're vocally racist you think all Irish people are the same? Yeah, get him, Jeff. I know.

That's all I know about the Cranberries. I think I probably watched that music video once at like 1 a.m. in 2008 and just decided that was Sinead O'Connor. Do you now know, though, Sinead O'Connor's big hit? No. OK. I still don't know anything really outside of the SNL thing. You probably would if you heard it. You'd probably recognize it.

I assume so, yeah. She was famous for ripping up the Pope on SNL and ripping up her career in the process, unfortunately. And then also, a couple years ago, didn't she go on a weird online tirade on social media about how she couldn't find anybody to have anal sex with her? I don't know about the second one. I think what i think i thought you're gonna no i think google it but i don't want to google it you don't want to google shenado corner anal two weeks after she's died i'll do it right now and we'll see what happens but here's what she wrote i'm in

desperate need of a very sweet sex starved man, the singer wrote and continued, I've been repeatedly asked, will I do anal sex? Anal sex. Let me make it very clear. Any man I contemplate has to be into anal sex. Yes, I do anal. And in fact, I would be deeply unhappy

if doing anal wasn't on the menu. Wow. Very honest of her. Okay. Yeah. Nothing compares to you. No word on if that had anything to do with her demise,

but yeah. Demise. Anyway anyway that's the joke you could have made thank you that was good really really good musician uh you should you should look up nothing compares to you that was her big song i will look into it you should also look up joe pesci on snl the week after i can't believe that she did that. Then he said that. And she's the one who lost her career. No kidding, right?

I don't know if it's the times or the place. It just seems so backwards to me. Definitely the time. 1992? It's the times and misogyny and the double standard. It's the same reason Justin Timberlake got off scot-free for the Janet Jackson thing and she suffered all the fucking consequences. He was just as involved in that moment.

Yeah, it's weird to look at an event and be like, okay, well nowadays I feel like the other person's career would be over. Like, literally flipped. Wild. It sucks to have your career end over a standard definition titty. Like, we weren't even in an HD era. You mean a

thing that 52% of the world has and exists on over half the people on Earth and is totally normal? I mean, I guess all men have titties too, but you know what I'm saying. We're so backwards about sex and sexuality.

It's so fucking weird. Yeah, that's true as well but i mean to for it to happen not even in the hd era you mean standard death yeah that's what i meant like i just watched that super bowl i didn't even notice it was sd i couldn't see shit all the tvs are blurry it's fuzzy 1080p that's very noticeable it was in that really sad window between a-definition film and high-definition video where everything just looked like

a bag of dog dicks for 20 years. Man, it's funny. You say things looking like a bag of dog dicks for 20 years. I was thinking about this this morning when I woke up. I was thinking about living with Gus about that time.

It was around that time. And we would just talk all the time and kind of prognosticate on the future and what it was going to be like, and how excited we were to get to the future. Right. And it's not Amitak. And, uh, and I realized this morning, like I'm we're here, like this is the future,. Off the top of my head, right? My doorbell has a camera and a microphone so I can talk to people. My robot vacuums my house.

I have a speaker in my kitchen that I can order soda and laundry detergent through. Potatoes could be mass-produced in a smiley face. Exactly. Don't even get me started on cell phones and having all of the world's knowledge in your pocket. There are self-driving cars like the Johnny Cab in Total Recall. And then all the tech that happened and disappeared like Google Glass or like Kinect, which was, you know, dog shit.

Or Theranos was bullshit. Or like when Galaxy phones were blowing up in people's pockets. Or like now we have robocalls. 3D TV was a fucking flash in the pan thing like meta vr in general like we have all of that now and it all sucks like the future i was so excited for the future and it turns out the future clearly was built by the lowest bidder and is managed by the laziest of people and we have it and it's all like 70 useful and like 30 bullshit and i'm really bummed out that we i finally got to the future and it wasn't nearly as cool as i

thought it would be well was it cooler in ways you wouldn't necessarily anticipate that probably yeah like i think the some of the luxury type stuff is just like so mundane you don't consider it but like yeah i feel like i always appreciate the fact that i can go from this chair to anywhere in the world without really talking to anyone yeah that's pretty cool yeah there are as a whole when your internet's working and you're not having to reboot that's true we tried we we you you talk about that gavin but you and i sat in a discord chat room for 45 minutes earlier today trying to film a video with andrew because and when andrew got on after 45 minutes and i'm not faulting you in any way andrew but when andrew got on after 45 minutes of making

us wait his response was i just tried to do one google search i'm sorry i'm sorry that's technology sucks i'm sorry 45 minutes of andrew's computer problems in 2023 it's like we are there and there are elements of it that are fucking awesome but most of it just sucks that's fair i always think i might even mention it like whatever you see in a movie that the evil villain or the aliens take over every tv in the world and i can't freaking airplay something from my own phone to my own tv i think that's the most unrealistic movie trope there's no way that's coming in clean on all those screens or like i was playing i was playing video games last night and my controller batteries died so i put new batteries new double a batteries in in my Xbox controller and then my Xbox wouldn't re-sync the controller

does it every day just wouldn't do it I rebooted my Xbox wouldn't re-sync it took the batteries out turned my Xbox off let everything sit for a few minutes put it all back together wouldn't re-sync it tried couldn't thought maybe I need to update my fucking

controller but I couldn't figure out, I couldn't get it, get through the Xbox to do it. I just had to reboot my Xbox and my controller like four times and then eventually it just worked. I didn't do anything differently. I just did it over and over again

until it worked. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's frustrating. Like stuff that's supposed to work and usually it works, but then it doesn't and there's no reason why it doesn't and there's no rhyme or reason for it.

It's just like, no, I know you pay for five gig internet, but today things are going to be a little slow and there's nothing you can do about it and you're going to get disconnected from most of your online games. Sorry. It's like my printer.

If I use my printer yesterday, it's going to work, but there must be an internal counter that when it hits like 27 days, it just forgets who it is or where it is. It doesn't know what it's doing. None of my computers can see it. Piece of shit.

If I try to use my printer, I have to turn it on and then turn it off and then turn it on again. And then I can print. Whenever I complain about printers, people are like, what are you printing? Like, who prints anymore? And it's because of the other terrible crap

that I have to print stuff. Like a bank that needs a certain form filled out, printed and signed back. Like all this ancient government shit where I still have to print stuff. It's other people's fault. I don't want to print anything. I kicked my printer on accident the other day and I killed it.

Like it died. Oh, no. It started making this like and it wouldn't like do anything. And so I was like, oh, I you know what? It's 2023. I say the other day, this is maybe three months ago. And I thought, oh, well, it's 2023. I just won't replace it.

Who needs a printer? I four days later, I was it's 2023. I just won't replace it. Who needs a printer? Four days later, I was at Best Buy buying the same printer over and over because I immediately needed another printer. I made it four fucking days in 2023 without a printer. I feel like of all electronics that are typically on a desk, a printer is the one appliance that you're most likely to find on someone's floor. So many people are like, oh, this is just going down there. I'm shoving it in the corner.

100%. When you said that, I thought i've never had my printer on a desk it's like never even been a consideration you want that thing out of sight you want to pretend it doesn't exist and you don't have to use it i fucking hate printers they're the worst i have a list of things i want to hear your list of things. 20,000? I don't, I wish 20,000. I'll just, I'll, how about,

I'll send them, I'll send them to you, Gavin, and you can, you can read any of these that you think are interesting. Speaking of reading your list while you're doing this,

did, did you get any response about your 19 minutes of ad takes? I got, I got an email saying the contract was finalized, so I think we're all good. I think everyone's happy.

I think that commercial is going to be great. I like that if they had given you 1% of all anal-based 2023 sales, it would probably have been cheaper. Yeah, I kind of did the math. I'm definitely making out with the better end of the deal so far. I saw you come into the merch channel and go, Hey, can I ask a question real quick? Yeah, I was curious.

They gave you the number and you went, hmm. I think what you would have wanted was 2022 money on that. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. Well, you know, there was potential for things, you know, who knows? But I'm happy with the end of the deal. I bet you they feel that they got the ass end of it.

Oh, wait, what is this? What have you sent me? I bet you they feel that they got the ass end of it. Wait, what is this? What have you sent me? These are just things, thoughts I've had. I thought if there are any that you think are worth expanding on, you can read them. We can talk about them. These are my musings.

Not any land animals of great height I'd consider eating, even if it was humane. Toys R Us has done wonders for giraffes wait you just wait you sent your notes to gavin to see if he can pick something that he thinks we should talk about yes yeah because i don't trust me to determine i just read the first one was the first so i think it's a great point we've talked about that jeff i'd love your input on this i was thinking about eating land animals, and there's not a lot of tall land animals that I just find appetizing,

especially a giraffe, which I attribute to a must-be Toys R Us thing. What do you consider a tall land animal? I guess, like, bigger than a cow. Oh, okay. So, like, you're saying, like, the cow is the tallest mammal you'll eat. Yeah. Like like a kangaroo

doesn't seem great to eat to me ostrich doesn't seem great giraffe certainly doesn't really i would eat ostrich seems like it would probably be pretty good you know i feel like it would be really tough that's a tough meat in my mind you wouldn't want to just eat a big a big wing i don't think there's a lot of meat on that wing. I think you got a lot of feather. I think that's a deceptive cut of meat, an ostrich wing. You think an ostrich wing is less impressive than a chicken wing? Yeah, well, if you keep reading the notes, there's some chicken takes in there. Oh, sorry.

Good Lord. Sinead O'Connor was not in the cranberries. Camel. Would you eat a camel? No, that doesn't say anything. I would eat a camel. Right, camel seems like it would be probably would i would eat a camel be gold right camel seems like it would be probably fine what would the hump be like probably fat like a fatty like a wagyu

you know what i mean like a real marble cut yeah how many sundays in my life would cloud as it's a thought i wonder how many sundays were actually sunny oh because you can find that out because it's sunday yeah that's a lot of these are things like notes that i mean to do research on later these are a lot of late night thoughts i'm like that all the time where i'll be like wait october is eight like oct is eight but it's the 10th month december should be 10 and i'm a thought but it's never interesting enough to Google why. But if you write them all down and hand them to someone and force them to read them, it's content, baby.

September should be the 7th month. Don't know why it isn't. This is one of my chicken takes. If I were to be reincarnated, coming back as a chicken would be the absolute worst. If I ever returned back to human, it would ruin the best meat. And as a chicken, I'd have to walk around knowing how goddamn delicious I was. Do you think chicken is the best meat?

I do, in my opinion. A homeless chicken in the eyes of the people is one. Like, if you escape, like, I don't... If I was a chicken and I escaped a situation... If I see a chicken on the street, I never assume that chicken is in need of further help. I assume that that chicken has gotten away from a bad situation. Is this before or after it's crossed the road?

This is probably before, I'd assume. Not after. It's dangerous when they cross after. I don't think chicken is the best meat. I like it a lot. You don't? What do you think is the best meat? I mean, I guess pork is the best meat. I like it a lot. You don't? What do you think is the best meat? I mean, I guess pork is the

most versatile. You get the most variety out of it, but I love a fucking really awesome steak. Don't get me wrong, I love chicken, but chickens I feel like I eat more chicken than red meats. Chicken is also better leftovers.

Yeah, chickens get better leftover and i feel like better variety of what it could be it's better steak is delicious but there's like 10 chicken is a depth meat you got chicken wings chicken parm it's a wing the i think that yeah those two things i think that uh i think that the only cold meat that tastes better than chicken would maybe be ham. Oh, you are a ham fan. Steak's not great cold. No, steak is not great cold.

But ham is pretty fucking, like a good slap of ham, cold slap of ham. I like those big old fat salami slices with like pepper around the rim. I'm with you. Oh, yeah. Because that's like all the that's like so much. If you're a little bit hungry and you want a blast of flavor without eating too much food, it's an absolute go to. What what animals is a salami?

That's pork, right? That's gotta be the hump of the camel. That's the giraffe's neck. That's gotta be the hump of the camel. That's the giraffe's neck. If you could be reincarnated as an animal, do you think you'd pick something domestic like a chicken, or do you think you'd really get out there with it?

I'd probably want to be my own cat. I'd want to be a bird. They have such nice little lives. Yeah, a cat is, I feel like, top... Cats and dogs, I feel feel like are top picks in that situation. Cat lives longer. Well, it depends on if it's an indoor cat or an outdoor cat. I guess your cats are indoor cats.

yeah, I think a bird, I want to be like a Falcon. Got some power to you. You just got ultimate freedom. Just go where the fuck you want to go. And you just, and then all you do all day long is shit on stuff below you literally and figuratively

like you just judge everything below you and make fun of it and then also just crap on all of it because like we said after mexico the earth is nothing but a bird toilet that really does feel like your best life like i think you nailed it for you yeah bird makes sense birds of prey have the biggest amount of options too. They can eat from the air. They can dive and get fish. They can eat from the land. It's whatever they feel like. They can get the fuck out of Dodge real fast if they're

not feeling it. If it's too cold and they want to go summer or winter somewhere else, they just do it. And they can fly like... Birds fly across the fucking ocean to migrate and they don't care. They just never stop. It's ocean to migrate and they don't care. They're just like they just never stop. It's fucking wild.

And they don't even have to talk to anyone. That's true. That is a great point. They're really good at formations. That's true. Yeah.

They're very disciplined. Before we wrap up don't let me forget I had an idea for a piece of supplemental content I want to throw you guys away. Why don't you just say it right now. Oh I a piece of supplemental content I want to throw you guys away. Why don't you just

say it right now? Oh, I didn't know if we were done with your notes or not. All right, well, it's up to Gavin. Are we done with the notes? I've not read them all.

I've just been, I mean, do you want me to look through them and not pay attention to this? No, throw another one out. Give me one more. Just like kind of scroll or look or whatever,

find one more good one. The person who named the Life Fest was a bit full of themselves. Okay. Well, it's just a flotation device. It's not a life belt, it's a seat

belt. The life vest seems a little, like, calm down. You're floating. You're getting people to float. I feel like all of these could start or end with you saying, folks, and then throwing it out there. I've expanded life jacket takes. It's typically what will happen is I'll have one thought

and then it will chain into like six things. Like the life jacket, the next thing I wrote down in that was the life jacket segment when you're going to plane always felt really silly to me because the idea of like if the plane is crashing at 35 000 feet i'm not like i'm never going to be like well thank god we got the flotation out of the way we do not need to worry about that like that is just so far down the list of priorities as far as what i'm thinking about in terms of survivability it just seems unnecessary.

I need to drag all my pointless thoughts into a document for you as well because I've got so many on my list that I know I'm never going to bring up. Like this one I'm about to bring up. I feel like there should be more descriptive death terms that don't explain the death. Like dying from exposure or consumption.

They don't tell you anything about what happened, but they're like known words for ways to die he died of inflation what inflation these days is getting ridiculous he died of deconsecration i feel that way about manslaughter manslaughter always just whenever it's like said in my head it's it's like the most slasher movie thing it's terrible like way cooler than accidentally elbowing someone out of a window which is what manslaughter could be i guess the first time i ever read manslaughter i read it in a newspaper when i was a little kid and i thought it said man's laughter and i thought a dude went to jail for that was the

fucking funniest thing ever my mom had to explain it to me what was the joke that's what I was like I don't get it mom had to explain having to explain what manslaughter is because your thought it was man's laughter

I don't I think I just give them man's laughter I think I just let you think that that's what happened I don't, I think I just give them man's laughter. I think I just let you think that that's what happened. I don't think I go into manslaughter. That's probably where it all went wrong for me. My mom, my mom, she zigged when I, it may have been safer for her to zag. I used to play this game with my friends when we were walking to school.

If anyone was ever walking the other way, we'd play this game called punchlining where I would pretend i would pretend like i was at the end of a really funny joke and right as we'd walk past the people coming the other way i'd like deliver the punch line and all my friends would laugh but it wasn't for any joke we would i would just make up punch lines like i just walked past someone to be like that's not a tree that's my wife and we'd go, little freaks on the way to school. It's like so weird how my brain has lost the ability to come up with like dumb kid ideas.

I could never come up with that. We would, we would do this thing in the army in, in basic and journalism school where you would get like, you'd be hanging out with like three or four people and you go, Hey, here's what we're going to do. And you'd explain what you're going to do.

I would do this all the time. And then right as a fourth person who isn't involved would come up, you would start to tell a joke. And the joke would be something like... So anyway, there was this penguin and he was in a bathtub and he was filling it up with water. He was trying to take a bath, right? But he kept slipping into the water.

And every time he'd slip into the water, right as his head would go under the water, he would go, no soap radio, no soap radio. And then everybody would laugh, laugh, laugh. And the one person would be like, and you'd see if you could get them to laugh and then make fun of them mercilessly when they did. Like, you piece of shit, that's not even a real joke.

And he'd just lie to them. It was surprisingly fun coming up with punch lines to jokes that didn't exist you should do it i want a list next time we record i want at least one what if you here's what we do gavin you give us a list of punch lines and then we'll take that list and we'll go into the lab and we'll write the setup for the punchlines and then we'll take that list and we'll go into the lab and we'll write the setup for the punchlines and then we'll present it to you that's fun that's phenomenal i think it's a great idea all right how many punchlines do you need five five next time you want to do five and then andrew we each come up with five setups sure okay i like this idea i think it'd be fun

so then it won't be episode 171 you'll present the punch lines and then 172 we'll have the the setups for it okay wow we got some stuff in the mix now we do let me tell you about an idea i had for a new piece of supplemental content okay i have still been kind of relishing in how much fun Summer of 98 has been. And the idea of pivoting, not really away from drafts, but it's kind of like draft adjacent. We were developing our definitive playlists.

And that was so much fun. I had this idea today. What if we made a, what if we did a piece of supplemental content very similar to our Summer of 98 music playlist, but instead of picking the music of 98, pick the five we eat or four we each pick the four or five worst songs we've ever heard and we try to create the worst playlist of all time that's great that's such a good idea and are we talking bad bad or good or like whatever you hate like i'll tell you

right now okay a strong candidate for me would be the proclaimers i would walk 500 miles i would i i would like to i would like to go back in time and stop them from making that song the thing is i've listened to bad songs so much that i think i end up liking them like i would actually go out and listen to darude sandstorm right now unironically yeah no but i for me there are songs that definitely, I just, I'm not a fan of. Just suck. You know, kind of like how the dude

hates the Eagles in Big Lebowski. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. All right. Sometimes it might not even be based purely on the song. It could be influenced

by the music video. Could be different reasons. You just might have a personal relationship to that song that makes you hate it. Mm-hmm. I mean, it's like

one man's trash is another man's treasure, right? So it's like, we're gonna pick songs that we hate that other people think are absolute bangers and vice versa. I just think it'll be interesting to see a playlist that is cumulatively all of the things that we like the least.

And I know Eric's gonna have very strong opinions as a big music fan. So I just think it'll be fun. I think it's a really good idea. I really like this. I think we're gonna get a lot of hate from people who like these songs, but I feel like that's just think it'd be fun. I think it's a really good idea. I really like this. I think we're going to get a lot of hate from people who like these songs, but I feel like that's just going to have to be a part of it. Yeah. I mean,

we're going to be giving a lot of hate. So I think, I think Jeff isn't worried about the opinions of people who like the song. I would walk 500 miles. I think, so I think he's going to be all right. I also think that if you're out there and you're a regulation listener

or a comment lever and it's in your all time 20 greatest songs and it's on my all time 20 shittiest songs I think we can probably overcome that together and still be decent to each other and have an okay I don't think it needs to be a deal breaker

between us imagine if it was. The Proclaimers! I'm at a claim that I'm never listening to this podcast again. I'm going to walk 500 miles to kick your ass. Speaking of bangers, Jeff, you should check your door. There's a package. What?

Okay, hold on. I'll be right back. Is that why the door opened earlier? Yeah, what the fuck? You think his butt cream's arrived already? What is about to happen? Oh, who could- who knows? Why don't I have a package? Uh, I- well, you know, I should've, actually. You're right. It's on me.

I don't have your address saved. That's fair. That's why. So either Andrew or Gracie is a goddamn magician I'll tell you that right now what happened that's impressive hold on yeah great he said it ain't me that's impressive do you have potato smiles daddy hold on on no most aggressive

anyone's ever asked that put it in slack no I'm gonna be eating potatoes smiles for dinner apparently holy shit it's like little happy hash browns that's so crazy and it costs you like a thousand dollars

to do that 132 I think that's awesome, dude You're wrong that you answered. I'm assuming so much for my potato smiles to you guys moving You put a flesh smile on my face To take us out of the episode will you open that bag and eat one right now frozen? No, don't ruin potato smiles immediately I Think you should try it. Yes.

A frozen fry is awful. Hold on. Let me, uh. Fries don't cool well. You need to have those hot. It's a big drop off in quality in my experience. All right. Can you see my camera?

Okay. Yeah, you look good, man. Wearing my NBA Summer League hat. You guys were there. Sloppy Joe's shirt. All right. Here we go. Oh, yeah. Sloppy Joe's. It's just my travel Summer League hat. You guys were there. Sloppy Joe shirt. All right, here we go. Oh, yeah, Sloppy Joe's. It's just my travel clothes this year.

All right, it's a pretty happy little face. It's very frozen. Yeah, it's a frozen product. Just gnaw on it for a little bit. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And this is what makes Jeff have his next root canal. Nick came back and said, what the fuck? I almost threw up a little bit.

There's just a lot going on. But it's good. I'm going to try it thawed and heated, and I bet it'll be even better. It will be. That's great. Enjoy your smiles. I'm going to try it thawed and heated and I bet it'll be even better. It will be. That's great. Enjoy your smiles. I'm excited. We have a lot coming out for this show. There's so much

happening. I'm very excited with where F*** Face is at and where we're going with it. Did Jeff leave? Yeah, he's out of here. I mean, he hung up. Oh, hey Jeff, what's up? Do you want to do the outro since we're still not done? You were saying we have a lot coming up for the show. I missed that part.

Yeah, I was saying that I'm excited about the future of F*** Face and some stuff we have coming up that we can't talk about yet. Yeah, we've got some stuff coming out that we can't talk about yet, but that we're very excited about. Eric's right. But there is some stuff we can talk about that we hope you'll check out and enjoy. I don't know if you're aware, but every Monday or damn near every Monday at 4 p.m. Central Time,

Eric and Emily and I put on the F*** Face Break Show where we open up all manner of cards from all kinds of things. And then we build the definitive collection, the ultimate card collection, the greatest collection of cards of all time. From the funny to the weird to the esoteric to the legitimate

then of course we also do the podcast the podcast you're listening to right now you seem to be aware of it and don't forget about so all right it's a podcast where I say stuff and Gavin and Andrew don't interrupt me so it's probably pretty boring and then we have that first only show

coming out face off and then we have that first only show coming out face off and then we have oh by the way if you miss the live stream of the break show we it ends up on the roosterteeth site on fridays and then on youtube on saturdays and then just about every uh every thursday or friday these days we have a piece of supplemental content that comes out not every week friday saturday friday saturday but damn near and uh yeah and then some and then some even other stuff on top of that we're very very very we have a bunch of supplemental it's in the chamber that we're ready to fire off over the next few weeks so go subscribe on youtube and watch that there on the roosterteeth site and then also stay tuned because we have some

other stuff that we have coming up i just had the best idea. You guys know how a potato gun exists? Yeah. What if we got a potato gun and then we built a form that out of like, I don't know, almost like a cookie cutter or something that's a smiley face

and then we shot potatoes into it with a potato gun and tried to create smiles. Like our own potato smiles. I'm in. I'll bring over the old high-speed camera for that. Okay. Great.

Thank you. Andrew, what would your podcast be called? The first permanent potato patches on U.S. soil were established in 1719 near Londonderry, New Hampshire by Scottish-Irish immigrants. Please subscribe. So your podcast would be called the potato patch? No, it would be called the first

permanent potato patches on US soil were established in 1719 in London, Derry, New Hampshire. How long could a podcast name be? Please subscribe. What's the longest song name of all time? The first permanent potato patches

on US soil were established in 1719. The longest song title is Sufjan Stevens, The Black Hawk War, or How to Demolish an Entire Civilization and Still Feel Good About Yourself in the Morning, or We Apologize

for the Inconvenience, but You're Going to Have to Leave Now, or I Have Fought the Big Knives and Will Continue to Fight Them Until They Are Off Our big knives and will continue to fight them until they are off our lands. Thanks for listening to another episode of the F*** Face Podcast. We'll see you next week for more potato facts and some punchlines.

The Potato Museum in Washington, D.C. contains 2,000 potato artifacts. You're going to blow all of our good... You're going to use up all of our good potato facts. 2008 was the UN International Year of the Potato. Bye. All right.

Let's cut. August 13th is National Potato Day. Cut. Cut. No more. Hey, guys. Major League fan Jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face. How do you cook your smiley fries?

Andrew's face is everywhere. The thumbstick challenge has begun. What turned Nick? Zimmer is in the Hall of Fame. Where would the F*** Face crews go? And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face.