Regulation Podcast - Ramscoop vs Whoop Tone // bird_chirp.mp3 [158]

Episode Date: June 14, 2023

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about a new nickname, Split, GI Joe draft, out of sync, easter egg, Andrew's birthday cake, Colin the Caterpillar, positive food guy, slime update, Babadook, Valerian, Sideways, Johnny Caviar, and waking dreams. Come see the F**kface Museum and more at RTX this this July 7-9 www.RTXAustin.com for all the details. Sponsored by HelloFresh http://hellofresh.com/face16 and use code face16 and Fum http://tryfum.com/FACE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59. That seemed like two seconds early. Uh-oh. It's not early. What do you want from me? I don't want anything. You shut up. That's all I want.

There's no argument. There's no complaining. Eric was on 58 when you popped into the room. That's all. Eric needs to learn to count to 60, firstly. Well, you didn't give him a chance to count to 60. I'm almost there. So far, I've gotten to 58.

You know what? In defense of Gavin, I've never heard you say 60. I've heard you get as high as 59. It's true. I think I've only ever counted. Proof that you've gotten there. I don't know how we got to episode 158. I just have a sheet that tells me what the next one is, and that's it.

Do you want me to be two seconds late next time just so you can get to 60? No, I want you to continue to be on time all right hello and welcome to another episode of the face podcast this is episode 158 of season 98 uh if we're going by slang, my name is Porterhouse, and with me as always is the Freezy Guy. Freezy Guy, Ram Jam, and Schwartzy, and the Lil' Dog.

What the fuck is this? Welcome to our podcast. Jeff went with a different cut of steak. You changed your steak name? I changed my steak name. I modified everybody's nickname a little bit. You did? I don't know why.

You don't know why? Okay, that's fair. Ram Jam? Fucking, well, first off, I cannot remember Ram Scoop. I've been calling you Ram Rod in my head, or Ram Jam, for a while. Ram Scoop is, I had to look it up twice in the last week, because I just couldn't fucking remember it.

Good news for you. I have a potential replacement nickname that I found out in the world. And I want to run it by everyone. We're going to have to go straight into that.

No, let's go straight into it. Yeah, why would we leave nicknames to then redirect you back to nicknames? Why wouldn't we just do this now? Well, sure. Yeah, let's do it.

Jesus Christ, man. Well, I'm just stalling. I'm trying to find my picture oh i've seen you know what you know who wouldn't have stalled jeff ram jam ram jam installed ram jam ready the rammer saw this sign in a in a hotel by the lift it's sort of giving you the sound of the alarm and what it sounds like whoop tone i think that could be my new nickname whoop tone whoop tone dude i'm all about whoop tone and t-bone oh this is great oh i love it i'll put it to the audience do you like ram scoop or whoop tone because uh i'm leaning towards whoop tone isn't there like like a G.I. Joe named whoop tone? What am I thinking of? Ripcord?

Maybe I'm thinking Ripcord. Is Ripcord G.I. Joe? Who's a G.I. Joe? This is great. Is there a Joe in G.I. Joe? Are there any G.I. Joes in the audience? Raise your hand if you're a G.I. Joe. What? Slipstream?

There was a Ripcord. There was a Ripcord G.I. Joe. Are you naming Decepticons? I don't know What? Slipstream? There was a ripcord. There was a ripcord G.I. Joe. Are you naming Decepticons? I don't know. Is Slipstream... Which one is Slipstream? He's involved, right? Was he a car?

I don't know. But just wait until he fires up the whoop tone as he comes around the corner. Oh, he will have a great whoop tone. Would you... So here's the thing. The thing about whoop tone, it's long uh which i'm not against i this is not me this is not a criticism i think whoop tone is a fucking great name yeah it is i think it's fantastic how do you feel about call be calling uh you either be called whoop

or tone as well you know like it's like a nickname on the nickname we've been trained to know that whoop is the sound of the police so it could be it could be a problem just being whoop i think i think i think with a name like whoop tone you can't truncate i think you got to go full whoop tone every time and then it's the thing i like about it is it's also like when would you use the term whoop tone when you see him first time right it's like oh there's whoop tone but also it's a sound so now like anytime you see whoop tone come into the room in your head you're gonna be going whoop whoop yeah yep and that's fucking kind of double awesome you're telling me no one's gonna call him tone no no i won't only a fool only a fool like like imagine people he like he's walking up people go i what up tone like you tell me that's never

gonna happen no then i'll tell him about funky was it town medina was it he called medina if anything i want your guys aside no one's calling him that if anything people will go whoop when they see him you know can i can i character build on whoop tone gavin yeah you need to have shoes that have um that have the fucking what's the the grown tube you need grown tube shoes and whoop tone like runs into the room that's the that's the whoop tone i'm late for the bus you just say well all right tony you'll never be late wait is that okay tone i hear we we gotta make grown shoes. I don't know how we do that, but that has to happen.

Eric, can you talk to Tony and Aaron? We need Whoop-Toni shoes. We have... We made the small keychain grown tubes. Those could definitely go on the side of shoes. Absolutely. Just tape a bunch of those on yourself. Grown shoes. Gavin, if Eric can Just tape a bunch of those on yourself. Throw shoes.

Gavin, if Eric can get you a bunch of those little baby keychains, will you make a prototype where you just tape them all over your feet? Absolutely.

Is that our next uniform? That could be a uniform. Yeah. Gavin could invent his next, it could be the, this would be the follow-up to the Thrice to Meet You, which is a solid product.

I feel like I've got a backlog of Unifarm inventions ready to go. You do. Uncork that hose, buddy. Maybe we'll have to have a sesh soon for Unifarm. I can just see it now. Who's that pervert that was putting his hands in all the ice cream and then you just go... Tubes sprinting away in the distance.

Dude, that's right. How's the ice gloves going? How's the ice cream gloves going? I feel like that was a real ram scoop thing. And I'm whooped tone now. Oh, you've moved on. Yeah. That's old news.

Well, I'll still work on that prototype. I need to order some supplies. And I need to find out if cutting those things open is poisonous. I don't want to keep jumping into the episode because i really want to let you guys go i just want to appreciate gavin because when other people have a nickname or an alter ego it's always just themselves but gavin really differentiates he's got like stort the bumbler or whatever and errol and like all this stuff and it's just like none of them are the same or him they're all different they do different things and this stuff. And it's just like, none of them are the same or him. They're all different.

They do different things and they don't overlap. It's awesome. It's an excellent point. Eric was the name of that James McAvoy movie where he had all the personalities or whatever. And he'd like fluctuate split split. Yeah, that's what's right.

You just imagine I'm like the scene and split. We're like, he's cycling personalities and it's like, Oh no, he's whooped tone. Just running like, oh, no, he's whoop-tone, just running down the halls. It's great. I'm a big fan of whoop-tone.

I got to agree with you, Eric, because even looking at my... If I take a harsh look inward, an honest look inward, T-Bone and Porterhouse are the exact same dude. There's no difference between those two guys. Well, I think he's T-Bone on the streets and Porterhouse in front of his girlfriend's parents. Oh.

Even that is more of a difference. You're just a natural differentiator. That's the thing. You're adding personality to my non-personality nicknames. I love it. Suddenly one of them's got a girlfriend. He's got to fucking new parents. Was Porter House a G.I. Joe?

That feels like a G.I. Joe to me as well. It's too bad we didn't get to name all the G.I. Joes. How many are there? Like 10? How many G.I. Joes, roughly? Oh, hundreds. Hundreds. Really?

Yeah. I know nothing about G.I. Joe. How many G.I. Joes were there? Porter House, not a G.I. Joe. How many G.I. Joes were there? A porterhouse, not a G.I. Joe. Sorry. Oh, that's disappointing. Was it a Decepticon? Hang on, hang on. No, not a Decepticon.

I appreciate you fake looking that up, Eric. That was a nice timing. Here comes Star Scream and Porterhouse. This is so good. you know what you know what I'm really into whooped tone whooped tone came in big energy yeah we're going all over whooped tones taking us to new heights can I I want to see you know like a tag

team wrestling match Gavin I want you to set up like your thrice to meet you and just tag in your different personalities. Oh, the ultimate tagging device. Yeah. It's like my,

my personality switch. I fist bump in, I high five out. That's great. There's 163 G.I. Joe's. Oh, wow. And none of them

are named Porterhouse. Not so far. There's some good ones. Snowjob. That's a good one. That's, whoa. That was, That's a good one. There's just one called Barbecue.

There should be one named Porterhouse if there's one named Barbecue. There's one called Crabby Legs. That's me. That's me doing the sewing machine. There's one called Stretcher. He's a medic. I think we need to figure out our G.I. Joes that fit us best.

Yeah. This is really crazy. Should we do a G.I. Joe draft? Wow. We got 163 to choose from. That would be a real draft because it's not all of the earth. I don't know. The pool is false. It's no different than

the G.I. Joe's. Same thing. Are we doing 40 minutes of just listing every G.I. Joe name and then picking them? What do you want? Well, we would read the list probably and then draft in. Why? Why not just pick? We're killing time. It's a waste of time wait wait wait it's a

time why would we read 162 names and then pick 12 of them or 20 of them whatever it is we have to read 162 names it's all the joes well that's like saying i didn't know more than 160 shops for my mall what do you mean i don't know what you're saying. Oh, man. I'm glad that the drafts have been cleared up and that this all makes sense now. How did you guys, you two specifically, when did you get off track communication wise? You

never seem to understand each other anymore. We stopped playing video games. Yeah, that's probably it. Can I ask you guys a favor? Can you guys play some fucking Halo together one night, just for like two hours just to get back in sync sure yeah but who's more out of sync him or me i mean you're fucking bumbling and clueless and he's aggressive and angry and it's just a bad you guys are just you guys are just butting up against each other right now all right let's see if we can sort it out mean, I don't care if you don't because it's hilarious,

but I'm just noticing it lately. You know, we have had some issues recently. I was complaining to Gavin about something and he called me dumb, and I thought he made a ridiculous comparison. Oh, shit! You called him the D-word? You didn't call me dumb, but you called me dumb by your words. I didn't know

that AirPods needed to be in the case to charge, that there's no other way to charge it What do you mean? Yeah, it's like do you want to plug it? USB plug would be like deeper than the pod why couldn't I got acres of white plastic that aren't doing nothing? I said what I call you dumb I know I didn't call nothing. Also, why did I call you dumb? I know I didn't call you dumb, but what about my words was dumb? The tone was more like you're a fool for not knowing that. My response was, who gets AirPods without the case?

Why would I have done that? First of all, I didn't get them at all. They were a gift. I did not buy the AirPods. That's why I didn't know they needed to be were a gift okay i buy the airpods that's that's why i didn't know they needed to be in the case i thought that was just a bonus like my uh my elite my xbox elite controller you can charge it in the case or you can just charge it with the cable outside of the case but but they're so small but there's tons of i'm telling you there's a lot of white plastic real estate on that thing

that's not being used. Yeah, I just feel like it wouldn't fit in your ear hole if there was a hole the depth of a USB plug in it. What do you mean? It would stick way further out of your ear. I don't think it would. Oh. Well, how deep is a USB plug?

Well, deeper than not having one. Yeah, but I don't, I feel like it's a small cable. When you look at a USB cable, that's not like fucking six feet. It's a tiny cable. We were arguing about this on text and I said,

I was just like being an asshole making other comparisons to where you need like another device. So I said, did you know you need a corkscrew to get the wine out of the bottle? A separate thing. The wine on its own,

the wine bottle is useless. And Andrew said, yeah, but I don't need a specific corkscrew to open just that bottle then then only be able to drink it out of a glass that they make i was infuriated got you there i found my airpods in a in a random like egg in an easter egg case and i was like great finally found them then i realized oh no i need the fucking i need the proper case to charge them and then i was like egg in an Easter egg case. And I was like, great, finally found them. Then I realized, Oh no, I need the fucking, I need the proper case to charge them.

And then I was upset knowing that once I found the case, I would then need to find their special cable to charge all of it. Like each part was just ridiculous. It was absurd. I got to say as a longtime air pod user, my air pods, if they're not in my ears, they're instantly back in the case. That's where they live not in my ears, they're instantly back in the case.

That's where they live. They're happiest in the case. They don't want to be outside of the case. That's fair. I mean, this only became a problem because phones decided to take away the headphone jack. Yeah, it's a dumb move. That is a dumb move.

No argument there. All that courage and all those years later is still really annoying. Yeah. It's fucking stupid. You're and all those years later is still really annoying. Yeah. It's fucking stupid. You're right about that. Just a quick question. You found your case

in an Easter egg? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know why they were in there. I don't know why I had it. It was in my, it was in my end table. It was just the

Easter egg shell. It's a plastic Easter egg thing. I popped open. I was like, oh my God, AirPods. Do you think you were like, I don't know,

maybe this will charge them. No. No. That didn't cross your mind? You were like, the Easter egg is plastic too, right? Let me recharge this. The magic bunny brought it and it's gotta work. No, I think realistically, I had my charger on the other side of the room from where that end table is

And I probably just took them off and was like I don't want to lose these so I'll just put them in this case Do you keep a lot of Easter eggs around? That's the only egg I have What color is it out of curiosity? It is it? It's a white egg. Oh, so you must have barely seen them in there. Double back. It's the confusion, yeah. Yeah. Nick says, new product idea, Easter egg and chacha.

I love it. I don't know that I've ever seen a white decorative Easter egg aren't they typically like yellow or blue or pink or something do you have a picture of how you found them like could you recreate the situation I don't

I was going through my end table and I was just pulling out stuff and there was some plastic there was a plastic egg so you couldn't find your case your airpods were loose and your case was inside a white easter egg in an end table no no the case wasn't the case was in my desk i found that later in my sauce drawer of my desk what is going on wait where does

okay it's a real Charlie Kelly vibe. So I found the AirPods in my bedside table. That's the first place I looked. I figured they might be in there. Found them in the egg case. So the pods themselves were in the eggs? The pods, yes. Just the pods were in the case, in the egg case.

Then I had to try to find the proper case, which I found in my sauce drawer. I still have not found the special cable to charge all of it so it was a point you just wake up bleary-eyed in the night and you were just like without turning the light i'm trying to put your airpods in the in the case but you accidentally put them in the egg like how i still don't understand how this no i happen so the case the last time i remember using the case it was on the other side of the room the far side so i think i probably

was laying in bed i've actually yeah that's absolutely i would have been laying in bed using them realized maybe they died or is this like i'm done i don't want to misplace these i'll put them in the egg i guess and i never used them this is probably like a year and a half two years ago it's the last time i used airpods okay so so oh so wait a is probably like a year and a half, two years ago was the last time I used AirPods. So, wait a minute. So, for a year and a half to two years, you've just had a plastic Easter egg floating around your room?

Yeah, well, not my room. It's not even from this Easter. So, you managed... AirPods consist of three components, right? If we consider the AirPods themselves to be a unit, then you've got the AirPods, of three components, right? If we if we consider the AirPods themselves to be a unit, then you've got the AirPods, you've got the charger and you've got the case. You manage in one room to spread those three components to the wind.

And now they're like, how did you lose them all so far away from each other in such a small space? It's like a lazy plot video game. We have to collect the three things from the far corners of the... That's the next video game. Help Andrew recompile his AirPods. Oh, I'd love it. If anyone can give some assistance

on where this cable is, I'd appreciate it. I've kind of given up. That's the final boss. Was it just a lightning cable? I assume so. I don't know. I don't...

You guys ever see those Japanese CGI, like dramatic reenactments of crimes, crime scenes. I feel like we need one of those for you trying to find, for you to go through that story. You just explained to us. Yeah. I wish you could have felt my anger when I got Gavin's text about wine

bottles. Like you. Well, yeah, a lot of the time you need other shit for your shit. Otherwise it doesn't work. I'm not saying it's great. It's pretty annoying. He's got you there. I have nothing to say. Nothing to say to that.

I feel like I countered what you said at the time. You're not wrong. There's just a lot of real estate in those things. That's all I'm saying. If we're talking about products that we've made tonight can i talk about a thing that i made recently yeah please that might inspire the two of you i've been talking about this with you guys for a while but in two days from now it'll be much past that point it is our show's birthday and i thought it would be a fun idea as like a supplemental thing is if

we all made a cake like a birthday cake because i had never attempted to make one before and then we did like the regulation birthday cake was the idea we could all present what we made so that's sort of the thought uh so i made a cake um that i'm very proud of i've never made a cake before now saying i made a cake maybe is a little bit of a strong word i had a lot of assistance in making this cake i would say say as much work as Steve Jobs did and like making the iPhone is the amount of contribution I made with this cake. It's a masterful thing. I think this is an innovation.

I think I'm an innovator in the space. I think these would sell out day one if we were to mass produce them. So it's important, first of all, ingredients. You gotta show your ingredients. We got some orange juice we got some flour lemon sugar the basis of all good cakes jeff if i showed you these ingredients lined up like this would you go birthday cake clearly i might not if i'm being honest really? so much of it brown what's all the brown shit?

what on the right? the brown stuff? that's the brown sugar okay what's the brown with the the jar with the red top? brown with the red top

is that ginger was I saying? yeah some ginger you know what it is ginger? you know what it is shut up

you know what it is and what's the what's the sort of porcelain horse in the background? Is the horse a part of the cake? It's a cosmetic thing, unfortunately. Is it porcelain? I don't know. I'm not, I think,

qualified to answer that. I don't think I could tell you if a thing was porcelain or not just by feel. I wouldn't trust my porcelain judgment. So it was an apple cake because I feel like that's important. That's the key part of the show. Okay. You got to make the batter. Eric grew up with porcelain.

You got to mix up the batter. You got to add a lot of apples in there, right? I just did another podcast with Eric earlier. He's on fire today. Hey, Jeff, if I showed you this picture, would you look at that and go, that's a birthday cake. No, it looks like somebody threw up spaghetti.

Really? You think spaghetti? Yeah, I think like a little bit of, a little like rigatoni puke. Really? Oh, no, that's a delicious, we got some Cosmic Crisp Apple in there. We got some Granny Smith. Got a good mix of theirs. This is making a delicious apple cake.

Oh, multi-apple. Yeah. Multi-apple. Threw it all together, you know, multi-apple. Yeah. Multi-apple. Threw it all together. You know, we made it. And this is my cake. I want to introduce to you the regulation cake. Look at that.

Whoa. Wow. Whoa. Look at that. Looks like a pie. It's a pie? What? You made a pie?

Is it a pie? That's gorgeous. That's a regulation face pie. No, it's a cake. It's clearly a cake. What do you mean? Is that? It looks, Andrew, it looks fantastic. I'm very impressed.

It looks really great. The text looks amazing. Yeah, it really does. I'm blown away. This is, like, the amount of effort you put into this is so cool. Steve Jobs, though, I assume barely touched it. Did you touch this? I came up with the premise of this. Okay. Alright. Okay. Okay, all right?

Phenomenal font work for whoever did it does the cake get frosting at any point? Oh, it doesn't need it. It's perfect perfect as is delicious cake, huh? You guys don't like this cake I really I'm gonna say that the text you fools You think it's a pie okay? It is not a pie. It is a cake right's a pie okay it is not a pie it is a cake right in a pie oh you put cake in a pie crust i put cake in a pie crust because i'm a pie guy i prefer the pie crust more than the cake so this is it before it's done see you make you get the pie crust you make the cake you put the cake in the pie crust then you seal it up all nice it... It's like a tomb. Seal it in like a mummy. Got yourself a delicious fucking pie cake. You've like turduckened dessert.

I've turduckened dessert and it is fucking delicious. It is so goddamn good. I would eat that. Can I ask you a question? Yeah, go ahead. Has anybody... Did you just invent this? I did.

I looked at... Well, I'm... Maybe... I don't know. I said that very confidently. I searched online and i couldn't find anything anywhere that did this so what's that why is it like a a peak it's a peak exactly it's the regulation pick regulation pick so here's there were two of them right i came up with this

idea and i was like this is gonna be awful but you guys are gonna be like that's a fucking pie then i'll be like oh look inside it's actually a cake in a pie you'd never see it um so there's just a normal version of it without without the shell and that was pretty good it was like a really good cake then i tried the pig best dessert i've ever had wow i think keeping it in the pie crust and made it so moist. It was fantastic. There is some stuff. Need to innovate a little bit on it. The bottom of the pie crust, not fully cooked.

Need to need to time it a little bit better as far as that goes, but I'm very proud of this. Now we have to make a second cookbook. Okay. So I've done, I've done a little bit of research in Andrew. I will say what you've done is difficult. People are going to tweet this. People will be like, you didn't will be like you didn't invent it he didn't invent it here's the

here's the pie cake and here's what here's what i will posit andrew here's how yours is different yours is a cake inside of a pie crust what you've done is you are turducken this is two separate pies inside of cake ice icing yeah there's frosting and stuff yeah you've done something totally different from this so before people send this and it's they're still gonna do it i'm just letting you know you sir you're an inventor and i'm proud of you yeah i'm proud of you that's brilliant steve jobs of of peg right here that's what i you are a true visionary andrew congratulations i am very very you know the best part is it's it's the regulation pick and then when you get halfway through it's a fuck pick it's great you have a

lot of fun with that i'll put the recipe together i'm still tweaking it a little bit i can get it i can get it into the cookbook we still got. When I was looking at it before I knew the cake was in the pie, I was about to say that the text was really icing on the cake. And then I realized you can't say that when it's literally a cake and there's no icing. Like it isn't. And I was like, oh, it's like the cherry on top. I was like, nope.

Why is like extra mile shit always cake based like it is is the icing on the cake is the cherry on top better than the icing on the cake or are they both the same uh use them both in a sentence please oh you know like that's just the cherry on top okay what's the other sentence oh yeah you know that's icing on the cake I don't know that those... Okay, I don't like it. I think they're the exact same thing. Yeah, I think they're interchangeable. What about when something takes the cake?

Does that help you one way or the other? It depends on if the cake has icing or a cherry on it. Who took the cake? Whoop-tone. Whoop-tone did I hear his feet? I read it. Watch out. Wherever you're going, you better believe American Express will be right there with you.

Heading for adventure? We'll help you breeze through security. Meeting friends a world away? You can use your travel credit. Squeezing every drop out of the last day? How about a 4 p.m. late checkout? Just need a nice place to settle in? Enjoy your room upgrade.

Wherever you go, we'll go together. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamx. Benefits vary by card. Terms apply. What kind of cake does Whooptone like? What's Whooptone's dessert? Oh, that's a big question. What's he going to be liking?

Maybe something with strawberry on the inside. Some sort of glaze. I'm immediately picturing a red glaze. He likes like a jelly filled, like Whooptone likes like, yeah, okay. Yeah, something like that. Hmm. That is an amazing invention. Yeah, congratulations. Thank you. Can I ask what kind of cake

Gavin likes? Is that, is it different? I like a good Colin the Caterpillar. What? Oh, it's probably like a Fudgy the Whale, I'm assuming. Hold on. Colin. It's a Fudgy the Whale, but the weird version overseas. I'm getting you an image. I feel like I've been's a fudgy the whale, but the weird version overseas. I'm getting you an image.

I feel like I've been asking a lot of questions this episode, but it has been paying off dividends, so I really, I don't feel too, too bad. What the fuck is Colin the Caterpillar? Or did he say Cole in the Caterpillar? Colin. Is it Colin? Colin. Colin the Caterpillar?

Colin the Caterpillar. That's. Oh. Oh. Colin the caterpillar? Colin the caterpillar. Oh. It's a cake that looks like a caterpillar. We should have expected this. It's like a Fudgy the Whale type thing. Yeah, sometimes you have little Smarties or M&M's on top and it's like a chocolate swirl cake.

Mmm. I'm definitely sufficiently whelmed. This is sort of like not really what I was expecting, but it sort of is. You're disappointed? I'm not disappointed.elmed. This is sort of like not really what I was expecting, but it sort of is. I'm not disappointed. It just kind of is. You know what I mean? Just kind of, yeah.

Where can I get one? Oh, you can bring it out cookie puss again? It's cookie puss. Yeah. It's hard to beat cookie puss's hands. They're fucking crooked. Oh, those are hands. They're fucking cookie. Oh, those are those are hands.

Oh, that never that's been making me laugh my entire life. It's like his hands go down to his mustache. He could like he

could like use his hands to make his jaw chew if he gets if his mouth gets tired. Where do you get a call on the caterpillar?

Can I get that in America? Well, this one that I posted, that's from M&S. Marks and Spencer. I'm going to guess that's not an American voice. Can you import it? No, I don't know if I could.

Yeah, let's import one. Sneak one over? We'll have that and a cookie puss. The cookie puss, what's great about that is maybe you get an arm. Maybe somebody gets a mouth. There's different sections of character you could get. Unless you get the arm. Maybe somebody gets a mouth. Somebody gets it. Like there's different sections of character you could get.

Unless you get the head of your Colin the caterpillar, whatever the fuck. Like it's just, it's not, it doesn't look like anything. It's just circular cake. Well, let me show you a cross section. It's good shit.

I'm telling you. Show me a cross section. What does this cross section look like? No, it's just cake. It just looks like cake. It looks good cake. It looks good cake. It looks fucking delicious to me, dude. I don't know what he's talking about.

But I'm saying the fun of a character cake is you get different parts of the character. Yeah, you get his front arms or his middle arms or his back arms. It doesn't even look like every section has limbs. So like only half the people get part of the caterpillar yeah but if you don't get if you don't get the limb you might get the diamond or the fucking crown on top are there are there baby calling the caterpillars what's going on in the yeah that's quite disturbing

i never had one with like little slug kids but yeah i guess you could eat you could just pop an entire child in your mouth. Is Colin their royalty? It's the royal family of cakes. It looks like they're wearing a crown. Oh, yeah. Part of the King Colin. He's also got crowns on his back. Yeah, I don't know.

I never had one. The little one. Eric, would you say Big Dog or Gooch Pooch? Is he is he into the cookie puss? Yeah, I think he's. But that's the thing. So i think he's but that's the thing so am i like that's where i'm making like the differentiation it's hard for me to be an alter ego i'm just kind of me the whole time and you have if when i asked what gavin likes i

didn't think calling the caterpillar you know the answer so it was weird is that gavin's answer was weirder than his character's answer. Yeah, I will agree with that. That's the strange thing. Yeah, definitely. I wouldn't have expected that. Man, I really want to eat one of these fucking caterpillars and I'm going to have to go

to England to do it. Well, let's go. How much of the caterpillar could you eat? Oh. Could you eat one whole Colin? Oh, definitely not. You'd hoe.

Very rich. I could eat half a Colin. I could eat the face rich. I could eat half a Colin. I could eat the face side. I could eat the face half. Oh my God, I've just found a picture. I think Colin might be deceptively thick. Someone deep

fried one. Oh no! That's terrible. That's terrible. Colin looks like when they would find a character in the alien franchise that has been like stuck to the wall and is waiting to die Colin just looks so oh like he's not having a good day yeah they're keeping it alive yeah like they've been infected with the yeah host thing or whatever it's like oh no they're dead but they're still here that's

what Colin looks like that's not good how much of the deep fried cake could you eat i bet that'd be good as shit dude really uh one bite uh yeah i don't think i could go beyond a bite nick says half of it that's that's bold i don't think that translates i bet it does i think for nick he's a nick is like a garbage pail man he'll oh no definitely yeah nick was born at a state fair. Yeah. Like socially, I feel like Nick comes across as normal and then you fucking put a deep fried Colin the Caterpillar in front of him and you see the freak. The freak comes out.

You actually would be more alarmed by Nick's weirdness because he comes across as normal and then you just put something like that in front of him and you're scared. You just described Face Jam. All that is is Face Jam. It is Nick's the most normal guy and then he's around food and all bets are off.

What is your least favorite food, Nick, that you just can't stand? Oh, that's such a tough question. I want to say... Nope, it's such a tough question. I want to say... Nope, it's not that. Just name any of them. Can you think of a food you don't like? Yeah.

No, I like everything. I will eat anything. No, I like anchovies. Those are good. What about those pickles in the bag that people are eating? Oh, delicious. Love them. Gas station pickles? Oh, yeah.

Is that what they're called? I mean, that's what you buy them. I like gas station hot dogs. Well, they're great. I mean, don't compare those. No, don't judge a gas station. A gas station hot dog has its time and place. Yeah, the time and place was 18 years ago

before it expired, but they're still selling it to you. No. It's like a fine wine. You need those 18 years. It's fermenting. Yeah. Need a corkscrew though. How about, have you

ever had haggis? Do you like that? Oh, I love haggis. It's delicious. No, you don't. I do. Really? Yeah. That's the worst. I had it the last time I went to Scotland. It was delicious. Well, if you like haggis, there's nothing on earth you don't like. Yeah, I'm kind of a freak. Do you like olives?

I love olives. I'm snacking on them all day. Hey, thanks, man. Do you like cucumber? You know what? I'll tell you what. Cucumber, my least favorite food. There you go.

There you go. Yeah. That felt, that didn't seem genuine. Yeah, that was bullshit. I would answer it really forced. And that's so inoffensive, too. Like, they're not strong. Yeah, but when people, people who don't like cucumber fucking hate cucumber.

Like Gus is like that. Yeah, if you, if there's a cucumber in the room, he can smell it and he won't eat anything. I don't. Right, but I don't believe it. I don't believe it just because he was so fast to be like, I love the gas station. Yeah. Like, that's why I just don't Right but I don't Believe it I don't believe it Just because he was So fast to be like I love the gas station Yeah Like that's why I just don't believe it

But pickle I know it's just Cucumber technically But pickles are Far superior And cucumbers are Just like meh Exactly

The food that you Hate the most Is just meh Yeah He'd eat that Fucking cucumber Like Pac-Man And then just be like

Eh But he'd still devour it. I wouldn't enjoy it. It's not a hurdle. I love that we're making fun of a dude who has a much healthier relationship to food than any of us because he's open to all of it.

And he's like, his options are wide fucking open. And I'm like, you freak. You weirdo. You accepting weirdo. I agree with some of that, but if he's excited about deep fried calling the caterpillar that's it's he's earned freak that's a freak well here's what we do then to put it to the test once jeff has been gassed out of the porta potty by the rancid fermented

fish maybe nick has a little bit on toast oh oh my god what do think? I'm a little less inclined for that idea. That's a yes. What? Uh, yeah. Okay. I'll try. Sure.

Yeah. He'll try it. That's impressive. Thank God. Hey, we'll say I felt in the past when we've done food things and Nick, when you've been like, you know what?

Not bad. That has meant something and it no longer does. It no longer means anything. Not in a negative way of your big food guy, in a way that I've never heard anyone else be. He is a very positive food guy. He found things to like about my plumber's pizza that did not really exist for anyone else.

Oh, the crust is so good. I'd make it again. Decent crust. Oh, man. Speaking of the ingredients of your plowman's pizza I know I don't think any of you guys watch the TV show succession but it just it just ended they just had their series finale and in

the last episode they were like it's like siblings fighting over control of a company and it's like two brothers and a sister and they were one of the brothers and the sister were pranking and kind of fucking with the other brother and they made him a shade like a smoothie that he had to drink and they put like as much gross stuff as they could and then he had to

drink it uh and they filled they put a shitload of branston pickle on and he really drank it yeah he really drank it jeremy strong but they talked about it like shiv was like yeah how about a spoonful of branston pickle? You love Branston pickle. And I was like, oh, fuck. Worlds collide. That's amazing. Hell yeah. Yeah.

It's the only time I've ever seen it in the wild. I know I need to watch that show, and that's going to probably tip me towards making it the next show I watch. It's a good show. Real good show. You're going to have to make it through four seasons to get to the Branston pickle, though.

It's in the end game. It's all good, though, right? Yeah, right yeah it's really really good it's funny it's funnier than i would have expected do you want a slime update i'd love a slime please uh it's the same but i've got new fungus oh no what's that and why is it eating my friends i think that fungus looks more delicious than Colin the Caterpillar. If that was you, you are hateful. Not no, not that. I'm not saying the fungus is delicious. I'm saying if you imagine that as a cake pattern, I think that looks pretty good.

Gavin, I don't think he likes you anymore. I love Gavin. There's a difference between loving somebody and I love him. I love him so much. I know it's great. that's what makes it harder I feel lucky to know Andrew especially when random people talk to me about him it is one of my favorite things

now and it happens like maybe every two weeks somebody will approach me to talk about face and then they'll go like so Andrew's real and it's kind of yeah kind of as far as we know, real. It's not like I've seen you in a while. What movie have you watched that you remember the least about?

It might be Austin Powers, too. It's funny you say really. Yeah, I said somebody talked to me about Austin Powers, too. And I didn't me. I remember him, but it was like the whole beginning of the movie and I didn't remember it and I know I've seen that movie like 10 times and I just have zero memory of what happened oh wow I've seen the Babadook like three times I couldn't tell you anything about it the only thing I remember is that she was folding clothes in her backyard why would you watch the

Babadook three times because everybody said it was really good and I watched it and fell asleep in it and so I decided to watch it again and then like a month later somebody was talking to me about it and I realized that whatever I saw the second time I retained none of. So I watched it a third time and fell asleep in it. But I'm told it's a great movie but I've I can't. I think. I know

she fucking what's her name from the detective show. The Australian detective show. She's hanging some clothes in the backyard. And then I guess there's another there's more to the movie. But that's all I remember. And I've seen that part three times. I sort of it.

He kind of got it. I really like three quarters of the Babadook. I think it's a really it plays with this interesting theme of like, is something supernatural happening? Or is this just like a monster of a child to try to deal with and she was slowly losing her mind mrs fisher that's the lady in it is that her detective name or yeah that's her show she was in okay what about you gavin well if you told me um that the whole world is now hostage and in order to save the world the planet from blowing up you have to tell me the plot from valerian that luke berson movie uh everyone

would be dead like i couldn't i i can't remember a single thing about that film but i sat through the entire thing like i went to the theater and it's and it's worrying to me how i can't get anything out of my memory for that valerian the guy richie one where he's in prison no no it's like a cara delavine uh oh like fifth element style oh okay is uh is uh what's his face magic mike in that too shanning tatum shanning tatum i think you might be thinking of Jupiter ascending. I might be thinking of that one instead. I've seen both of them and I can tell you anything about either.

Those are airplane movies. Yeah, they are. It's a great way to describe them. It is just based on this cover. It's the least charismatic people you've ever seen being near each other in space look at man oh is that Clive Owen? and Rihanna

it might be I think it might be it is Clive Owen and Rihanna to me visually that's gonna be something memorable in there but I remember literally nothing was Rihanna in Valerian? apparently that can't be that can't be her thing was was Rihanna and Valerian what I think that

can't be that can't be her it's why would it be she was she was in fucking battleship yeah but that was the first movie it's her what is near some aliens and a robot also I think this was technically

an independent movie I think the director spent like 200 million dollars of his own money on it. This was Luc Besson, right? Yeah. Glad we made some really good movies before this one. It looks like if you ask an AI to make a poster of a generic sci-fi movie.

There's no soul in any of this. Which is weird because Fifth Element has so much soul. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy. He made the... Made professional, right? I mean, has so much soul. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy. He made the... He made Professional, right? I mean, fuck.

He did. Yeah. He made Le Femme Nikita. Dude, he made Le Femme Nikita. God damn. I feel like he's got some bad movies. He's got some weird action shit. I don't know if he did all the Takens, but if he directed Taken 2 and 3, that's not great

for your resume. Wait, did he direct it or write it? He wrote... Did he write? Did he write Wait, did he direct it or write it? He wrote... Did he write them? Did he not direct any of them? Let me see. I don't think he directed Taken. No, he did not.

He directed Lucy, whatever the fuck that is. Hey, are you thinking of the transporter? Yeah, maybe. He of the transporter, Andrew? Yeah, maybe. It's the transporter. He wrote the transporter. Well, he wrote Taken as well. He also did Taken as well.

I just maybe didn't direct it. Yeah. I got into Orangina because of the transporter as a kid. That was my introduction to Orangina. Great beverage. Do you still drink it? Yeah. It's in my rotation.

It's not a regular, but I heard there's a scene where he, because of the transporter, he's transporting something. He doesn't know what it is. Then it turns out to be a person and he cuts open their duct tape and he gives them Orangina through a straw. And I was like,

that looks good. So I tried it and was, was good. Recommend it. Good advertising. Effective. some may say it's if it's good enough for a hostage it's good enough for me i wonder i wonder if orangina saw a bump when that movie came out that'd be interesting

that'd be really interesting it's funny how that works with movies people are so dumb like when the graduate came out, plastic stocks, invest in plastic, people took that literally. I watched a thing about how Sideways completely shifted the wine market. Because he talked, he said,

I don't want another fucking Merlot. And Merlot suddenly plummeted after it. And there's a scene where he has a monologue about how great Pinot Noir is. And Pinot Noir quadrupled in production. And then you got the value of the Don Zimmer card. Oh yeah. There you go.

Another great example. I never saw that movie sideways. I'm glad I didn't see it. I just know that it's like a known thing that it impacted the wine market. I had a nice moment with you recently, Jeff. Was I a part of it? Yeah, you were. Yeah, you were involved. You know what? I think

it might tie me back with Gavin. I think this could be the thing that maybe bridges us back because he said there's some confusion. There's some conflict. Gavin, as you know, there's been a bird in my roof that has been driving me crazy. I have not been able to sleep. Yeah, you sent me those files. I need to check in on that.

Yeah, so I sent Jeff the file and he to i need to check in on that yeah so i sent i sent jeff the file and he was he was kind enough to run it through uh because my phone it just kept crashing and when you run it through it tells you like where other people have reported this bird there's some oxfordshire i should have sent it to you you would have you may have recognized it i may have grown up with it you may have grown up with it. You may have grown up with this bird. Here, I have- I'll put the clip in now, you can listen to it. You can tell me if you've- you grew up with this bird. Here we go. Bird chirp. Oh.

You can listen to it. I'm playing it. You- You are a just a- You got caviar, Gavin! Johnny Caviar! Oh, is that Johnny Caviar? Johnny Caviar came out.

He's the kind of guy that slips farts into birdsharp.mp3. You're an animal! Caviar, you're real good. I just got two barrels of caviar. Now, Jeff, had you really not listened to that? No, I hadn't listened to it yet. I forgot. Oh, my God.

So I thought I had been setting up this joke for over a month. I had before you went to Italy, Jeff. I set it up where I just I was gassy. I was like, you know, I'm going gonna record a fart and I'll just have it and That's great. That's great Eric. He posted a meme of like the difference between Johnny Caviar Eric Of gas coming out of Johnny Poof out of his butthole I saw here. I'll post I was gonna share this as well with Johnny camera Somebody posted this in the discord for the show or for face. I thought Me is Winnie the Pooh Johnny Caviar. Somebody posted this in the Discord for the show, or for F*** Face. I thought that was

funny. Me as Winnie the Pooh, Johnny Caviar. The problem with Johnny Caviar is it's just me without empathy. You guys inventing, like, pushing the Johnny Caviar thing was a mistake, but to go back to that gag

that I tried to pay off i recorded it and i i was texting you about this jeff before you went on your trip a long time ago yeah and i queued it all up and then i went to send it to you and the file vanished and i had to like lie and be like oh i don't know i'll get it i'll have to try to i'll have to try to find it so then i got another fart and i said when will I deploy this thing? When do I want to do this? And I just kept sitting on it. Then I brought it up on the show

to build to it a little bit more. And then I thought, okay, it's time to do this. So were you lying about the bird? Yeah, no, there's no bird in my roof. I mean, there are birds in my roof, but they're not waking me up. It was just all an invention to try to get you to listen to my fart unknowingly.

You said the fart was from Oxfordshire? It may have been. We are entering into a new era of paranoia and mistrust. Was that the first Johnny Caviar blindside? It is. It's a Johnny Caviar move for sure um but anyway i had been sinning on this i set it up i talked about the show i was like now i can

deploy this anytime i want and it was such a great face moment where i decided i am going to deploy this now and so i set it up to jeff and i sent him the file and I was feeling real good about myself. And then I looked at my phone and I saw it was game three of Celtics versus the Heat was happening. And they were down by 10 in the first quarter. And I felt so bad. I would never deploy a Johnny Caviar move against you in game three. I was like, he's going to be so be so miserable this is so bad so i kept watching i check in on the game regularly to be like please for the love of god win win this fucking game i need you to win and they they blew it it was their worst game of the series well to that point to

that point that game seven was not great but they were absolutely dog shit in game three and i felt so much guilt that i deployed the move and you didn't acknowledge it at all zero acknowledgement here's the deal i uh i've been trying to be less around my phone in general so i've been like making a concerted effort to put it in another room and then leave that room. So I just don't think about it. I'm trying to like break my fucking phone fumbling addiction, uh, and kind of just live more present in the world in front of me instead of on my phone.

Uh, but also, I mean, I've just been such a, just a shuttered wreck of a human because of this. So the Celtics heat series that I was, I've just been so distracted. I have been forgetting stuff left and right.

And I think I may have even seen it and then been like, well, clearly I have bigger problems to worry about right now than identifying Andrews Bird because I'm dealing with the Celtics imploding for no fucking reason against a geriatric,

non-fucking-drafted bullshit team cobbled together under a phenomenally evilly, wickedly talented coach. And so it slipped out of the periphery of my memory, and I didn't remember it until this instance you brought it up. I'm glad. I felt so bad that I... I feel bad that I ignored you and didn't realize it.

I'm sorry. I'm glad you did. I even though it's aimed at us. I really like Johnny Caviar. I really liked bird chirp dot mp3. I think that's a fantastic intro to Johnny. I went through a lot of variations on what to call it. It was it was a real I was like

bird noise that tip it off notch and bird chirp. Should it be bird chirp or bird chirps? I'll just go bird chirp. There's thought. It's calculated. I like Johnny Caviar. Count me as a fan. I like the idea of Andrew in a tuxedo at all times.

I don't think I've worn a tux since I was like five. Since you were in that fucking men in black photo. Oh, fuck. You're right. That would have been after that. Yeah. So it was probably like 10, probably like 18 years. Do you think now that you've recovered from COVID that you're ready for the marathon?

Fuck you. There's such an instant anger out the gate. No, because I'm not. I'm not 100% back yet. Anyway. Okay. Where are you at i'm i'd say i'm at my peak 80 there are times where i'm down to 40 how's the sleeping going are you having better i've had some i'm having some problems recently with the sleeping in the sense of i have an issue that i don't know if i'm i'm remembering my dreams

or if i'm waking up and thinking i'm still in them i don't know if you guys have experienced this where like you will wake up and think something is happening that is not that's type your dream and there's no way it could happen so i'll give like an example when succession when around this finale of succession happened, I had a dream that somehow I was involved in some financial market and it either I don't remember if it crashed or if it spiked up and all of the pillows were on a cool down timer from that point. I couldn't use the pillows because they were on cool down. They had to reset the pillow system. cool down they have to reset the pillow system and so i got up because i thought if all the pillows need to if all the pillows are in cool down what's even the point of trying to sleep so i stood up and i got out of bed and i thought this certainly is not a reality what am i doing and i crawled back into bed and i went to sleep but i have used your sleep super and it used all the pillows at once yes essentially it was like there was a countdown timer on the pillows and it was

like oh we need to recalibrate and so in my head i was like i can't use any of the pillows what's the point i'll be honest i'm glad to hear that you're in the bed and on the bath yeah i'm making improvements this morning my dream was uh that i had a dr pepper on my bedside table and the dr pepper cured all covet symptoms and i was very excited about this i was like we gotta we gotta let the world know uh that this dr pepper is uh is a cure cure for all and then i realized oh no if we tell people everyone's gonna try to drink my drink my Dr. Pepper, and it's all going to go away. I got to go hide this Dr. Pepper. So I woke up because I had to vigilantly guard my Dr. Pepper.

I was very concerned about it. It sounds like it takes you like 45 seconds to get out of sleeping. It happens sometimes. It's been a lot recently. Have you ever sleepwalked before? No. Not that I'm aware of. It seems like you're borderline doing it no not that i'm aware of seems like you're borderline doing it like you're giving yourself tasks and you're out of bed and you don't even

realize you're awake i mean i get hmm remember when we're doing i was trying to beat gavin's trial time i was dream i dreamt that i was on a trials bike and i head butted the wall i got up on my knees and i had to adjust like the body distribution on the bike to try to get going. So I guess, yeah, I'm like, I'm not I'm not sleep walking, but I'm sleep doing. You're sleep active. Yeah, I'm sleep. I'm sleep positive for sure.

Well, I'm glad you're finally testing positive for sleep. Oh, testing positive is not a problem. I've been real good at that. Not still, though, surely. No, it tested negative on like day 13, but I'm still dealing with some chest stuff, but we're getting better. Well, OK.

That's a nice podcast. We learned a lot about people. What? Yeah, I guess we did. I was sitting here trying to think like emily's gonna come home from work later and she's gonna ask me how the podcast went and i'll say i think it went really well i felt pretty good about it and she's gonna ask what we talked about and i'll have no fucking clue just recite the plot of valerian calling the caterpillar and uh i don't know see if she knows

that you need to put your airpods inside thePod holder. Or if you can put them inside an egg. Oh, right. Does all white plastic charge Apple products? Right. Is there a way, without any context, you could just say Ram Scoop or Whoop Tone? Yeah, that's exactly what I was going to say. Ram Scoop or Whoop Tone. I want to know what she thinks.

I'll try to remember that. Does she already have too much context for Ram Scoop? No, that hasn't... I don't know if that's out. I guess it's out i think it's out i think it's out yeah she fucking listens to she'd know yeah i mean it's definitely out because i've gotten nothing but tweets that say gooch pooch so uh yeah no it's out no no no no no don't send him tweets calling him gooch pooch oh it's no it's fine or the gooch or little gooch

or big no i block and i'm the gooch or gooch x yeah yeah no it's or malcolm gooch or Big Gooch or The Goochers or Gooch X or Malcolm Gooch or any of those. Just call him Big Dog. He just wants to be Big Dog. My favorite was someone was calling him Goosh. Yeah. Goosh. Like douche with a G.

That's very funny. Okay, wrap this up. What are you going to call this one eric uh the title of this episode is ram scoop versus whoop tone and turduckened dessert oh wow i've totally forgot about this see see these are see these are teasers where you go what the fuck what could this episode be about and then you get a little thing at the beginning and something about halfway through it feels good uh like bird shop.mp3 that's okay all right all right i got it i'll change that it's good uh well there you go uh hopefully if you're

listening to me say this that means you listen to the whole fucking podcast and boy do we appreciate you doing that that's not easy hopefully you left feeling good too let's everybody feel good and let's go tell some other people hey are you having a bad day could your day is it your day's fine but it could be better don't do you want to feel good listen to the face podcast you'll feel real good bye hey guys major league fan jack here with a look at next week's episode of F*** Face. We're going to the past. Someone from Nanaimo won.

Gavin goes to face. Jeff hits up eBay for Condor Man. That's just too much money for a robot. Let's get big in the Snoopy lore. And once again, Andrew does not eat the pencil. All that and more on next week's episode of F*** Face.