Regulation Podcast - Recycled Gavin/Andrew Conversations // Can You Get a Hot Dog on That Thing [49]

Episode Date: May 5, 2021

Geoff, Gavin, and Andrew talk about podcast therapy, blanking during stand up comedy, and bathtub confusion. Want to contribute to bits? Email what you can do to [e-mail] Sponsored by: ExpressVPN (http://expressvpn.com/face) and HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/12face + code 12face) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

🎵 Hello and welcome to episode 49 of the F*** Face Podcast. Hard to believe it's already been 49 weeks of this nonsense. My name is Jeff Ramsey and with me as always, Andrew Panton and Gavin Free. Hello, boys. Hello. Whoa, Gavin's here. I was trying to cover, I was trying to draw it out to give him time to sneak on in.

Really? I thought the opposite. I thought you were going to try to throw him under the bus and have him be quiet. Did you not hear me say hello before we started? No, we did not hear that. Why did you start then? Well, it's possible I was doing what Andrew said and not the thing I said. What? Oh, yeah, trying to throw, yeah, yeah, oh yeah trying to throw yeah well no definitely yeah what do you mean nobody believed that you're trying to

like drag it out to be supportive why start it in the first place if that's your motive yeah to catch him off guard and to ruin a tiny moment of his didn't someone ask me if i was recording and i said yes out loud no no nobody heard heard anything. Here's what happened. Hold on, because the audience, they might not have heard it either. Let's recreate it. All right, Andrew, you be Gavin, and I'll be us, okay? Are you ready?

Yep, I'm ready. Oh, here, Gavin's here. Hey, Gavin, are you recording? Okay, I guess we'll start. Interesting. I don't know what happened. That might be the best impression I've ever done. I feel like I should get credit for that.

You fucking nailed it. You nailed it. Nailed it. How are be the best impression I've ever done. I feel like I should get credit for that. You fucking nailed it. You nailed it. Nailed it. How are you guys doing? I'm doing well. How are you doing? I'm good. How are you doing, Gavin?

Good. I heard Mr. Panton got a package this week. I did. Before we get to that, though, I want to... You've been... There are a few things, Gavin. Gavin will sometimes text me, occasionally, and it'll be just throw away questions that nobody will think about.

Gavin asked me probably three and a half months ago at this. When did Christopher Plummer die? How long ago is that? If someone could look up. Oh, a few months. Yeah. Gavin asked me, he opened, he wanted to talk about a Christopher Plummer trivia thing and he opened it with, what's the most interesting piece of movie trivia you know and i'm still thinking about it i haven't

been able to come up with something it's just been haunting me um so are you not are you able to come up with stuff and then you think like no that's not good enough i gotta come up something better or are you just a blank you're just a blank slate it's like yeah it's sort of a mix of both where it's like i'll come up with something and I'll think, well, that's not nearly interesting enough to share. I certainly know something more interesting than that. I think I immediately told him a great story about Peter Molyneux. That's like a great, but it's a video game.

Like trivia. Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, I like that you're still thinking about it. I like that it's dwelling on you. Yes, it is. I feel like you asked me that question recently or something similar, and that's making me think that all I'm getting is recycled Gavin and Andrew conversations

as Andrew and Jeff. I'm getting sloppy seconds. I'm pretty sure Andrew asked me that question or something really similar the other day. I mean, I own the rights to that question, so I need royalties, Andrew, if you're asking other people. I don't feel like I did. Dude, it was that question or it was that question adjacent. I wish I could remember Dude it was that question or it was that question adjacent

I wish I could remember what it was I think it was probably about entertainment carts It was probably related to that I don't think so I don't feel like I just asked you trivia Why would I do that I think he might be taking your ideas And passing them off as his own

That's fine as long as it doesn't make its way back to me Then that's perfectly A valid path isn that fair enough it is um but you asked me gavin like two weeks two weeks how many the episode just came out we had the whole anal fissure anal fissure moment yeah right it sounded like you were about to say we had the whole jenna fisher moment yeah we had the anal fissure moment then we have the anal trenches following that yeah there's gonna be some anal adjacent uh topics we just can't escape your anus no well it's not about it where we've gone past that thankfully but you asked me that and i was thinking about

why can't why can't i remember those things because outside of this i've got a pretty good memory yeah but how do you know though how does anyone know if their memory is good? Well, because when I have conversations with people, I'm often pretty good at mentioning a thing that they forgot. And then they'll be like, ah, I forgot about that. But anyway, I was thinking about it. And the first thing I want to say is just unfair, because you re-listened to the episodes.

I've never listened to an episode of the show. You give notes. But I don't understand how, because you re-listen to the episodes. I've never listened to an episode of their show. You give notes. But I don't understand how, because you also give notes. No, I don't. When have I given a note? I'll say like post edits. That's my point is that I always

listen to them and give notes because I don't know, I just feel like someone should listen to them. But then you have given notes, but you give them in secret Like I put them in the thread Of the episode But there will be Notes given that never

Pass under our eyes and you were giving me grief About that last week Dude Gavin check the discord Nick is putting Andrew on blast He says that's true He messages me directly. So we don't even know what you're doing to the episodes. And you're not even listening to them.

Well, they're all things that I think of in the time. I've maybe done it twice, Nick. If you could back that. Maybe three times at most. Uh-oh. Here we go. Two times. Yeah, two times.

I've done it two times. And they're both times where I was concerned that somebody could be offended by what was said. Fair play. Or just like being mindful of it. Yeah valid reason for a note yeah absolutely but i think the reason one of the main reasons why i i'm so forgetful in these is like how do you are you comfortable right now like how do you feel as far as like just talking is it you asking me that question yeah i'm asking you that question do i feel comfortable talking yeah right now how do you feel you feel good is this about to blow blow up my face again it's a trick question

don't answer it there's it's not a trick question at all don't walk into this that's a dangerous question andrew how is it dangerous that's to me you asked that question but all i saw was you saying hey stand on this trap door no no, no, no. Okay, well, I'll just say from my perspective, I'm terrified right now. And I was talking. This is terrifying. Yeah, like the social, like with my anxieties and stuff. It's super scary to record this.

And then like just the concept of anyone listening to it, I can't even really wrap my head around. It's a very odd thing. I've been nervous ever since I found out that Jeff was lying about how many people listen to it. Are you serious, Gavin? Well, I do.

It's like, I just don't want it to get shitty. Don't want it to go downhill. I think lying is a strong word, first of all. I prefer to think that I was joshing. Yeah, I was joshing and then not giving me the update. It may have been more true at the time. Yeah, it's true. It was the withholding of important updates are you are you saying andrew

that 49 episodes in you're just as nervous now as you were as at episode one i don't think well here's the weird thing we recorded maybe episode one is the most calm i've ever been in recording one of these because it just didn't feel like a thing i don't know like it didn't feel like a podcast and then the second one, for some reason, felt more real. And then the night the first episode came out, I was sick. I was just so nauseous because I couldn't listen to it. Well, I could,

but I'm just incapable of listening to it. And I was terrified that we had made the worst podcast of all time. Jack and I just did that with annual pass. Nobody should start with episode one episode one isn't good nobody's not with any no no no yeah i feel like episode one isn't it isn't bad for like what we did no prep for for the launch it just kind of happened we recorded the

first one i didn't know how often we'd do it or how long it would be i didn't find that out until after we had recorded i didn't buy a mic for it until the day before like it was just it was a very quick process but are you nervous you're not freaking out before we record though right like if it's just oh we're in the room on discord just chatting no no no not as well like the whole day i kind of have nerves about it but like yeah once we yeah to me it's still a day where on wednesday night i'm always like i gotta get good sleep i gotta get good sleep i don't want to be awake all night and then do a shitty face yeah oh exactly it is really interesting to me how much

the recording of this podcast affects both of you in different ways does it not affect you uh i feel like it affects you more afterwards. Like, you're hard on it after we've stopped. I'll be like, that was a fun time by the end. I was about to sit here and blow some I always wear socks with my shoes bullshit right up your asses. And that's an excellent fucking point, Gavin. I do not tend to get nervous going into it because it just feels like catching up with you guys.

But coming out of it, I'm a wreck. You're right. Or sometimes juried. But you're just like, bleh, bleh. Shut up. Yeah. But that's never you guys.

That's always only because I catch a whiff of my performance. I try to ignore... I don't know about you. I'm sure you guys do the same. I try to ignore me and what I'm doing when I'm in the podcast and not focus too much on me because I don't like me. And I would be distracted by me.

And every once in a while, you say something and then you hear it and you catch a whiff of it. And you're like, oh, you're so stupid and ugly and dumb and distasteful and not good and unattractive and stinky you have a bad personality and you your heart smells you know and uh and then that throws me so i try but usually i'm good usually i have jeff blinders on until we until we end it's so funny you mentioned that because i i talked to gavin once before maybe episodes, 11 episodes ago at this point, maybe not that far, but a long time ago we're, we're recording and Gavin asked me how my desk was, what did my desk look like? Like, was it tidy or not?

And I just said, yeah, it's relatively clean. I did nothing. Like I added nothing. Like it was very clearly Gav was passing me the ball and I did absolutely nothing with it. And it's a moment nobody else would remember, but I've been beating myself up about it for like nine weeks straight it's just like constantly think about it to me that didn't register like i don't even remember that it wasn't even like you dropped the ball by the sounds of it you just caught the ball and gently put it down yeah like it's just i

contributed nothing like you guys had a really good back and forth going and it was like me very clear like andrew let's put you in this conversation and i was like thanks i'm gonna do nothing i'm just gonna sit with this ball um yeah so it's funny you mentioned that jeff because it's like that's that's the thing where nobody remembers that moment but me but it's been in my head what episode was that even in no clue but it was this is great this is a great this is a great conversation to have i'm glad we're doing this is there anything like that with you gav do you have moments of like personal regret or failure in the podcast or things like that that just irk you you've done uh yeah because i feel like a lot of the time some of the more spontaneous stuff is funny and and the stuff that i write down in the

week if i bring it up and it isn't funny i'm just like why did i even write that down like looking back and i'm like what was i even did i miss some of the story like why didn't that do anything on the yeah but i know i know what you mean like when you think the story is gonna hit harder than it does yeah well not even having the expectation that will hit but just like like i sometimes realize mid telling it i don't know why i've written this and then i think that makes i think that makes, I think that affects the telling of the story because I lose confidence in it.

Do you ever think like, I'm doing a bad job telling this story and I wish I could do better? Like it's not the story's fault, it's me. Yeah. But what I do is I take that thought and I postpone it and I try not to let it affect the current moment or the rest of the podcast.

Otherwise I'll just be thinking about it or the rest of the podcast otherwise i'll just be thinking about it like the rest of the 40 minutes that we're doing it so i'm pretty good at just like bagging it and bidding it and just moving on yeah i would say i have i have two of those i have uh one there are i i'm unfortunately more than a few times i have been so in my head trying to like get ready to tell a story or think about the way I want to say it that I realized I'm gone and you guys are so far down the road and I just come back into it you guys are laughing you know and I'll go oh man I have no idea where we are at that point and I always I always hate myself when that happens it's like podcast therapy

I like it when it gets called out as well sometimes andrew will be or eric will be like wow jeff had nothing yeah yeah yeah the jeff had nothing silence for five minutes i'm like i was just thinking yeah no that's totally true you guys caught me i want to know if eric gets these thoughts or whether he's just so uh you know listening in the background producer that he doesn't have to worry. I don't know that I think to the degree that you guys have just explained, like Andrew saying that he was nervous when it was coming out and stuff like that. I want people to like these things that we work on, but also I think that they're sort of like almost like ephemeral. Like, do you feel that way?

Do you have these feelings, Gavin, when you're on the Rooster Teeth podcast? In a different way. How so? I don't know. It's a different vibe, isn't it? It's not always the same crew. I feel like there's more people, so there's different amounts of pressure. I don't know. It's hard to explain. It is.

I feel like with this show, if you have a story that you think is a real banger that is when you get kind of like butterflies about it because you want it to be as big as it can possibly be to kill as hard as it can yeah and there's nothing worse than when that doesn't happen i will tell, I thought I had a horse falling off a mountain story last week in my head that was A++++,

and I think I told maybe a B- story. No, that was an A? No, it wasn't. No, no, no. That story was good. It was an okay story. It was an okay story. It was fine.

It's not as good as what happened. And I wish I could time machine and go back and retell the story. Because I could have done a way better job. I listened to it in the car this morning. I was talking about this earlier, Gab. I listened to it in the car this morning on the way back from set. Because Eric and I are in a big tentpole show that was filming overnight. By the way, an hour out of town, which is also awesome.

Although I'm not one to, I should not complain because Eric had it way worse than I did. But I was listening to it on the way home and I was fucking bummed out. As a matter of fact, I was gonna stop on the way home and get myself an iced coffee from the Starbucks by my house. And I forbade myself. I don't deserve it. Yeah, I took my treat

away. I said, you did such a piss poor job. You did such a fucking B- job with that story that you don't deserve your Venti iced coffee black from Starbucks. You certainly don't deserve your grande nitro cold brew

and so i didn't get either i went i just started printing out forms when we finished these podcasts and filling out surveys for ourselves we need to do i didn't realize we all took it so yeah we need to do like reverse highlight reels you know like in sports where it's like they talk about why the play went well but it's just us analyzing every way we failed in the telling of the story a full breakdown of this failure i think what it is is i think that this one is i think it's because we're it's so wrapped up in our friendship and i you know i really like i think this the strength of a lot of the the history of roosterteeth is that it really is friends trying to make friends laugh and i care more about making you guys laugh

than just about anybody. And so I do, you know, I try harder in this show than other shows. Not that I don't try hard in other stuff I do, but you know, there is a little more, like I want to hold myself to a, I want to be as funny as you guys, if that makes sense. Do you think there's a group of friends somewhere

where none of them are funny? I think there's a lot of groups of friends that think they're funny i wonder if there's just like a group of close friends who just never laugh and never have a good time and oh yeah do you like just disband the friendship are you just like shit i guess we're not like we're not friends well how would that even work i think there are people that just aren't humor is not a big as big a deal to them maybe you know what i mean like more serious people i wonder what that's like it's probably fucking boring i'll tell you what it's not like it's not like setting off fire extinguishers in your closet to hide you know

fucking burning hot dogs sure it's not it's that's coming up isn't it the the big uh the big puff of the fire i'm looking into it people are talking about how I could suffocate because of the fumes or something. There seems to be a lot of health risks. I have a plan in my head that I just need to figure out and just plan. I mean, carbon dioxide will, I guess you could potentially

suffocate, but just open a window. Well, I can't do that because it's going to shoot like I need to kind of zone off. Well, what kind of fire extinguisher is it is it the foam or is it the powder is it the co2 what is it got no idea i don't i'm not even really sure how to tell um it just it would say because some of them you're not supposed to use on like if it's water it's important you don't spray on like dry chemical fire electricity i don't know if it's probably powder yeah i'd assume powder that's probably the worst one probably don't put it in your mouth no know if that's probably powder. Yeah. I'd assume powder. That's probably the worst one. Probably. Don't put it in your mouth. No.

Um, that's interesting to hear like all, all your reactions. Cause I was curious. Cause, uh, I, I did,

I did stand up once and that's the most scared I've ever been doing anything. And that was, how did it go? Uh, it was a full process. I never planned on doing it. Jeff went through,

I don't know if it's fair to call it a phase or if you're still really into it, but at that time, you're really into stand-up. No, okay. First of all, it wasn't a phase. I'm not a teenager trying to figure out what I'm doing, who I am in the world. It wasn't my heavy metal phase or anything like that. Secondly, I would like to get into this too because in the pre-show that we have

before you show up, Gavin, when we're just arguing and trying to have a real conversation, Andrew told me that I am a liar. He accused me of being a liar about this stand-up performance. And secondly, it wasn't a phase. The way it worked is,

I have a friend, we have a friend named nick scarpino who does stand-up and he uh he's in the in this industry with us and i was fascinated by his journey through stand-up so i convinced rooster teeth to make a documentary following him around on his journey as a san francisco stand-up comedian who also has a successful day job as a podcast comedian right but he doesn But he doesn't let the two intertwine, even though he could and make a lot of shortcuts. I thought that was a really cool work ethic and really interesting. And he wanted to come up the way the comedians that he looked up to as a kid

did and kind of follow in their footsteps on the real path of a comedian. And so we made that documentary. But as a part of that, I was required to do stand-up. And I caught the bug, and I did it for about a year. And I thought Andrew would be great at it, so I encouraged my friend to do stand-up as well. And he did a fantastic job. Well, okay, so from my perspective, and I didn't mean a phase like a high school thing.

I just meant at that time, you and I, when we'd talk, we would mainly talk about stand-up. And it was a thing you were really passionate about and interested in. And we just talked about it more at that time you and I, when we talk, we would mainly talk about standup. And it was the thing you were really passionate about and interested in. We just talked about it more at that time. Well, I was just getting, I was getting ready for the doc. Sure. Yeah. But so just me being, being a friend to you, you had just written a set and I thought,

well, I've never done that. I've never considered it. I'm not really interested in ever doing standup, but I would like to know what that process is like. So I tried to do it and i talked to you about it and then you they were gonna do a it was like a stand-up event at rtx and you invited me to do it and i kind of have a moral rule i don't know morals the right word but the personal rule like a policy of if there's something offered to me and the only thing

preventing me from doing it or wanting to say yes is fear then i do it anyway i'm not perfect at this so like you're like a fair yes sort of yeah and obviously sometimes i i fail at that and there are times where i've said no to a thing where it was probably mainly fear-based but i generally have been pretty good at always saying yes to those chances and stand-up was one of them and uh so it was terrifying also jeff never confirmed if i was on it or not he's like hey if you want to do this uh you can't and i said i'm not sure i got to think about it and then i said yeah i think i'll do it and then jeff never acknowledged that in any way so i wasn't sure if i was on or not until the tickets went up for sale and i was listed uh with the people that were doing it look i'm I'm not running the fucking show. I'm just making the connection.

Sure. Yeah, I just, I wasn't sure. But then also, like, because I have crazy anxiety brain, I went through this prep. I remember, I think it was George St. Pierre, who's an MMA fighter, had this quote once that he liked to, like,

run in the snow when he trained. Like, that was his favorite thing to do because the movement was so much harder that when he got into the cage to fight, it was easier. Like, it was nothing. So I took this to, like, I tried to do because the movement was so much harder that when he got into the cage to fight, it was easier. Like, it was nothing. So I took this to, like, I tried to do my version of that. So, like, I do my set in the shower and I just blast my face with water the entire time.

Like, I was trying to do whatever I could. So you're like, on the day, there won't be any water. I was just trying to do anything to be annoying or make it harder for myself. Cause I assumed if I could do it in those scenario and that, that setting, then it'd be easy for me to do. I was nervous about how I pulled the microphone. I bought a rock band mic and I just hold it. Like I was just, I was freaking out about it.

I have anxiety. You were like, if I could do it in front of running water, 250 people are going to be a breeze. No, I didn't. Yeah. But the altitude training in stand-up.

No, exactly. That was sort of my mindset. So I did that every single day for weeks. And I had the set written down on my computer and I had on my tablet. And then the day of, I just had a complete panic attack. And I spent the entire day, it was an RTX day. I just spent the whole day in my place rewriting everything I'd written before. And just trying to change things.

I had a panic attack, so I had a bath. You're freaking me out just telling the story. I'm getting secondhand anxiety. Gavin, I was so nervous that I had a bath because I was just having extreme anxiety. And I couldn't figure out how to drain the water. I tried lifting it. It wouldn't work. I tried twisting. I tried all the mechanisms I was aware of for lifting a drain and none of them would work and I was staying with four people

So I couldn't just like leave a bath full of water so my solution was I drained it via popcorn bucket I just scooped the whole thing out because I thought well somebody else will figure out how to lift it because someone will have a shower you like will figure out how to lift it. What? Because someone will have a shower. You like... That would be like, I would resort to that if I couldn't drain it for like half an hour. I imagine you like, you can't drain it for like two minutes and you're like gonna have

to bail it out. It was probably... Like a sinking ship. It was probably ten minutes, but this is in the midst of me having extreme anxiety about having to perform later, and just like... You're like, I don't have time for this! Yeah, like, that is is that was the thought i had i can't make this stand-up special

bathtub won't drain fast so i got a popcorn bucket it took like i don't know it was 75 or so but i remember counting each one and it was like really handy where i could twit like drop down scoop the bucket and twist and the sink was right there so it was like pretty fast um so i drained the tub and my logic was somebody's gonna have a shower and it's gonna fill and then they'll figure it out um i can't solve this at this time so then we go i go to the show and i realized that i've written my set on my tablet and my computer i don't have a copy of it on me at all I just never considered that and so I get there and within I don't know maybe 10 seconds walking in the door I can't think of a single word of my set that I've been working on and I've been

changing it all day so I'm meeting people I've never met before and it's so that venue is so hot is in the middle of summer just drenched in sweat and i'm meeting people and i'm just trying to remember my set and i can't do it no matter what i like it just there's a block there and i'm just panicking and every time someone like uh matt bragg came and said hi and i was just like i can't remember my set and he's like you'll be fine and i told you jeff i was like man i can't remember anything and i don't even have a copy of my set and you said don't worry about it this happened to me it all comes back right before you perform and I

I was like okay I'm not sure about that but I'm gonna just keep trying because I don't know what else to do and as each I was in the middle of the show so as each person is finishing their set I'm getting more and more nervous because I can't think of anything and then Jeff is gonna go on or no Jeff you you weren't you

and yeah you went on last so yeah so anyway a bunch of time passed I think it's I think it was I was about to go on as the next person to go on and I'm sitting in this room by myself like everyone else is watching people perform I'm just freaking out in the back trying to remember my set and Jeff walks back there and he takes this huge sigh and then he sits down in a chair and he puts his leg his head between his legs and then he arches back up and looks to the sky and says i can't remember a fucking thing and i was like you motherfucker you told me i'll come back i have nothing to worry about and you're free you're having like a moment of panic right in front of me uh you're like according to my schedule everything should be coming back right now

but he had no like he didn't mean it that way but he like very clearly was trying to supportively lie to me to calm me down and then he did that like two performances later just like right in front of me i can't remember shit so yeah i, I was lying to you. Yeah, absolutely. 100%. You got me. You got me. Yeah, dude, stand-up is stressful.

Oh, it's terrifying. I couldn't do it. That sounds awful. I'm freaking out just listening to it. Yeah, I never remembered my set. They said my name, and I remember walking to the stage and standing there and the Jeff moment never happened.

There is, it never came back. And I just stared. I looked at everybody for a minute and I thought, wow, I need to say something like there's nobody can say anything to get me out of this. So I think I just acknowledged that I couldn't remember anything. And then I remembered like one or two jokes from my set and I pivoted and it went fine, but I have no memory of that performance. So it went well? Yeah. Oh, I think, I don't know. I don't remember anything. And then I remembered like one or two jokes from my set and I pivoted and it went fine, but I have no memory of that performance. So it went well?

Yeah, I think, I don't know. I don't remember anything. I remember walking on the stage and walking off. You didn't do about half of your set, but the half you did was hilarious. You killed and everybody thought you were hilarious. Yeah, I don't. And you looked so comfortable up there.

It didn't come across. I've got to try and find a clip of that. I don't think I ever saw that i remember doing um that at midnight show where it's kind of you just have to tell jokes on tv and i was really nervous about doing that and somehow i just got away with it it was fine like it went well and i just got out of there and i was just my heart was beating and i was like well that's over let's never do that again and then like a few months later the opportunity came up again and for some some reason I was like, yeah, sure. And I was like, why did I do that?

I somehow got away with that the first time. What am I doing? And I'm on the plane to LA. I'm like, it's stupid, stupid. Why did I do that? I, dude, I did that with standup for about a year and a half where it's like every time, every time you do it, you're like, I'm never doing that shit again. Documentary's over. RTX is over no need and then you're like i fucking said yes again didn't i the last time i did the last time i did stand up and what will

maybe be the last time i do it in my life uh although never say never but i'm really not looking to do it again anytime soon uh was another r. And I don't think you did it that year. I think you did it the first year, Andrew, and the second year, which was the last in-person. No, it's never. I did it once. I wasn't invited again. Yeah.

If you're not, well, you were. No, I wasn't. If you're not, I don't think you were there. No, I'm in all the RTs. I was not. If I was invited. You have an open invitation. Wait, is an open invitation real?

I never believed the open invitation. Yes. Yes. You have an open invitation. Anybody that's done stand-up has an open invitation. Wait, is an open invitation real? I never believed the open invitation. Yes, yes. You have an open invitation. Okay. Anybody that's done stand-up has an open invitation to do it at that event. If we ever have it again. Anyway, if you're not familiar with it,

RTX is an event that our company puts on, Rooster Teeth, in Austin every summer at the convention center. It's a whole thing. We do a bunch of programming outside of the event at nights and weekends and stuff to give people shit to do outside of the convention center one of those is a big block of stand-up because there's a lot of stand-up comedians who work in and uh around rooster teeth that either are employees or friends uh so anyway the last

year we did it i hadn't done it in i hadn't done it since we we went on tour in australia and i had done it like on those shows, which was goddamn, Andrew, you and I were doing stand up in front of like 200 people that night. In Australia, it was like 1500 to 2000 people. That was a whole other level of scary. I will admit.

But the scariest was that last time because we were so slammed with RTX and I had people staying with me from out of town for RTX and my mom was here and it was all cool because they were helping and stuff. We were so slammed with RTX, and I had people staying with me from out of town for RTX, and my mom was here. And it was all cool because they were helping and stuff. But you know what it's like at RTX.

We're going from event to event to event to event to event from 7, 8 a.m. to 1 a.m. every night. And we were mega slammed before that with stuff. And I just thought, which is something i think way too often i thought this the the set is a problem for future jeff he's done it before he's figured it out before he'll figure it out again current jeff is going to deal with the problems at hand right and i kept pushing it and pushing it and then i thought what do i care i have a set i'll just i'll just polish that off and about three days before we do the event emily asked she's like how are you feeling about your set and i go oh that's a good point i've been focused on this other shit but i

should probably sit down and see if i can remember it and she goes what do you remember what and i go well you know the set i do the joke about the bananas and coffee and you know sucking dick and all that stuff and she goes you mean the the set you did in front of those same people in that same venue at the same event last year and i was like say what now and she's like yeah the set you've already done one year ago for those people you can't do the same set again idiot that's not how comedy works you do that tour's over it's time for a new set and i'm like like, it's Thursday. And that shows Friday night. And I panicked hard. And I thought, well, I've got like 24 hours to write a set. And unfortunately, I didn't because we were then we ran from event to event to event. It got so bad. And I kept pushing it off that we were driving in the car to the event with Emily and Millie and one of her friends and my mom. And we're about maybe 15 blocks from the event. And I made them pull over and let me out.

And I walked to the event because I was hyperventilating and I was freaking out and I needed to calm down. And in the space from like, I don't know, 12th Street to 5th Street where the event was, I wrote a set in my head. And then I got there and I didn't have any way to record it. And I ran around looking for a pen or pencil. And then I walked around upstairs and I wrote like 10 things down on my hands. And I just stared at my... I just sat down and I... Or I paced actually. And I didn't talk to

anybody. I wouldn't let anybody talk to me. And I just walked... I just looked at my hands for about an hour as I walked back and forth and then i just walked up on set or on stage and i did fucking 20 minutes of stand up off my hands and i killed and i didn't fall flat on my face and i walked off stage and said that's the last time i'll ever do that it was not creativity under pressure that's insane i guess that's a good thing because it means that it means that no one's getting complacent the fact that you're like set what 18 years into this career and it still makes you nervous oh yeah dude that's that's a whole other kind of scary you know we do tons of live

events and stage events but when you're on stage with like four or five six other people it's a whole different world than when it's just you and you're trying to like you're not going off the cuff you're trying to remember rehearsed prepared shit you know yeah it's terrifying did you have a moment of confidence though after you did that like any is there any amount of time in which you're like i can do this tomorrow no problem yeah there's first off there's a wave of relief yeah that's like it's like double overhead it's like fucking endless summer like fucking sure huge you know giant jerry garcia waves and and jerry garcia is not a wave i'm thinking a different guy but uh anyway yes there's like a huge wave of relief yes and then followed by feeling invincible and like you're the funniest person on earth and you can do anything for about

two days yeah and then realizing oh no oh no that fades really quickly and you can do anything for about two days. Yeah. And then realizing, oh, no, oh, no, that fades really quickly. And you go, I dodged a fucking bullet. I got lucky. I can't put myself in a situation like that again where I have to dig myself out in front of people. That's just not. Yeah. No, I had my my confidence lasted for an evening as an evening of invulnerability.

And then the next day I was laying on the couch watching a movie and I couldn't figure out why my lower back was so sore. And then I remembered I drained a bathtub with a bucket the day before. I really tightened up my back. Did you ever retrospectively figure out how to drain that? Yeah, that's the, you know, I didn't want to, I figured I drained the tub 90% of the way. And then I had a moment of clarity and I just Googled bathtub drains and I saw like a list of six different ones and I drained the last like 10%. I figured it out, but I had already scooped out the majority of the tub.

Oh, I like that you needed closure on that. I did. Well, it was just, I was like, this is, I can't, I'm not this stupid. I got to be able to figure out how to lift this drain. And I'm just panicking and freaking out. There's my anxiety. I have been really confused by bathtubs in the past, like American ones, like staying other people's houses.

There was one where to get this was so unintuitive to get the water to come out of the shower head above the bath. You had to, like, pull down the rim of the tap, like where the water was coming out. It was like a ring. Do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'd never seen that mechanism before. I was like, who the hell could ever figure that out?

Yeah, and sometimes you have to pull that ring and then turn it so it doesn't lock back up. Yeah. I was fiddling with everything around that tub. I could not get it. It's the same for me in hotels in Europe and the UK. Like every American has to spend six or seven minutes when they get me in hotels in europe in the uk like every american has to spend six or seven minutes uh when they get into a hotel in europe or the uk trying to figure out how to

where to put the fucking card to turn the lights on and then trying to figure out how to make hot water so many people would text to me rtx uh uk would text me like how do i charge my shit i've got it plugged in and i was like you have to hit the switch switch on every plug it's not just always on electricity it almost feels like they're taken from escape rooms when I go to different places like the mechanisms involved to like try to figure out

just to drain the tub like it's just overly complicated process like a black light yeah exactly you need to figure out the combination move the drain to the left if you want it like on hot like flip the thing to the hot it's a mess and if you don't if you don't figure it out in 45 minutes the art thief gets away exactly wherever you're going you better believe American Express will be right there with you.

Heading for adventure? We'll help you breeze through security. Meeting friends a world away? You can use your travel credit. Squeezing every drop out of the last day? How about a 4 p.m. late checkout? Just need a nice place to settle in? Enjoy a room upgrade. Wherever you go, we'll go together. That's the powerful backing of american express visit amex.ca slash ymx benefits vary by card terms apply you really over complicate things andrew because i've been trying to teach you how to make a cheese sandwich and you've not been able to figure out let's get to that gavin unfaced the thing for me which is great and he didn't even

need to do it i faced myself and gavin unknowingly then faced himself and his face reversed mine what was i feel like do i know what this is oh no no i haven't talked to you about this okay well it's it's true it's what happened so i have as i talked about on this show i bit into my phone my old phone i cracked the screen with my teeth and then it died and i'm not a big phone person so i just bought the like the cheapest phone i could get off of amazon that would do express shipping and i bought this piece of shit samsung j2 i think it's called it's from 2015 it's just honestly the pictures the pictures he sends me the videos are so small yeah that like they're honestly about 60 pixels wide it's like you're texting me from 2004 it's yeah all of the photos look fuzzy and just terrible and the video i sent

you was like a postage stamp and i can deal with that but even like the keyboard there's an input delay so i'll like be typing things and nothing will appear and then it'll all appear and it'll be one giant word like the spaces don't work and it could take me like three minutes to write a 10 word sentence so it's just it's this shitty phone and i was complaining to it about gavin and gavin was kind enough to say like hey i have this phone i'm not using older phone it's way better than what you have i can mail it to you if you want. And I thought that's super nice. You don't have to do that. But if you did it, I'd really appreciate it. And so we kind of talked about it. We kind of the conversation ended there for a bit. And I was thinking about that phone and I'm not a big phone person and it's the worst phone I've ever owned, but it's the only phone that has a personal meaning to me.

When my grandma was sick, I was spending a lot of time with her, and she doesn't know anything about technology or phones or stuff like that. There's no concept of the outside world. She was pretty confused at this time anyway. But she had cancer, and I was spending a lot of time with her,

and when I'd spend that time, I'd end up ordering food quite a bit and I'd get food deliveries. And it was, I think, the last day I got to spend with her. And she she would never ask for anything. But my grandma loved hot dogs. It was her favorite food. And she had somehow made this connection that like the phone and the food were connected in some way. So I was looking at this phone, my piece of shit phone. And she just looked at me and said, can you get a hot dog on that thing?

And just to be clear, she doesn't understand Uber Eats or anything like that. She was asking me if I could like pull a hot dog out of the ether. That's such a wonderful question i love that oh my god it's a great is a great moment and i'm kind of taken aback not just because the question but she would never ask for things really ever and so i thought about it for a minute i was like yeah you know there's a thought there's a hot dog place i could order from i said yeah i can get us hot dogs and she just lit up and said I'll take two and uh which was absurd because she wasn't really you know eating that much at that time um but then I ordered hot dogs

and so this is funny too of like they were like cheap three dollar hot dogs and it's one of the nicest memories I have with her um and then from that point forward I would jokingly call my phone the magic hot dog device because that's what in her eyes it was. And whenever I'd use it, even though it was a piece of shit, I'd think about her. And that was that was a nice memory. So I had all these thoughts and I'm like, man, it's such a face that the shittiest phone I've ever owned is one that I have a personal attachment to. And Gavin's going to send me this new phone, which is super nice. But I just I don't know if I'm ready yet to uh to switch phones and so i

picked up make the leap yeah so then i picked up the phone i was gonna text gavin this and as i was holding it my hand i got a text from gavin that just said never ship anything to canada ever it was i guess this is a pain yeah exactly so you expressing that like it was such a pain in the ass to ship it to me. I then thought, well, OK, well, if you went through the effort of sending it and it was an annoyance, I now have to swap phones, which is great. It freed me into upgrading my phone. So you unface my scenario of like I'm going to be stuck with this phone until it dies, which will probably be 20 years from now, knowing my luck. And so I've swapped them. I don't want you to have any obligation, though. No no no no no it's it's just it's like well you know

i'm gonna save the phone i'll do something nice with the phone the hot dog device uh but i was able to switch because of your annoyance like in my head it would be more rude to not then accept to tell you i'm gonna continue using my piece of shit phone. So I appreciate it. That sounds like a really sweet and beautiful moment all around from the gesture from Gavin to the special time you spent with your grandmother and the fact that you have that like wonderful memory every time you look at that phone. And in the spirit of that, I have to ask, at any point during those moments with your grandmother

when you were enjoying hot dogs together, did you, do you, and you probably didn didn't but just if this jogs memory do you remember you and your grandmother ever discussing hot dog color no i did not yeah that was later that's great just had to ask somebody just had to ask yeah no it's a great question somebody sent me like a color breakdown of hot dogs the other day i wish i had that to pull up um but no well they made it or like did that already i have no idea if they made it or if it existed but it was like a very clear like this is what this shade is this is what this shade is um but gavin didn't just send me a phone gavin sent me maybe arguably greater than a phone gavin sent me a jar of Branston pickles I got my

Shipment stopped they were like We're not shipping this unless you provide us A commercial invoice and I was like Wait you want me to write up I'm sending him trash Basically you want me to write up that I'm sending him Some pickles in a jar So I had to put like a dollar value

To each itemized thing also just a great another part i missed about it uh they what the name they used when they called about gavin's they called me don burton the person on the phone it's the most wrong anyone's ever gotten who's that with either name it's just it's so i don't know how you get to don burton um but they did which is fantastic i really wish i didn't read the box i got the pickles i'm so surprised oh you read the pickles i did yeah i had to put i didn't want to lie about i didn't want to commit some sort of weird international fraud crime. Lose your green card. Yeah, so I had to write pickles on it. I can't believe it made it to you, though, because your address just looks like a kid with crayons just spilled a tub of crayons on some paper.

I don't know about you, but it's also unbelievably expensive to ship. When I sent Andrew that stupid little baseball bat, the first one, that was like, it cost over $100 to send it to him, I think. I think you sent $117. A 30-cent baseball bat. Yeah, I can't remember what it cost me to send. I was too busy faffing around with all the extra paperwork to really worry about the price.

I don't know if it's said on the package, but yeah, it was surprisingly expensive, isn't it? Yeah, it is. It was a great moment to read phone and pickle, where I just saw in the front of the package. So then I got this and I asked Gavin, what do I use this on? What would be the ideal thing? And he told me... Our text conversation blew my mind.

What did I tell you? Well, you told me a cheddar sandwich, which just I didn't understand. It doesn't make sense to me. What do you second go ahead what is a cheddar sandwich thank you that's what i said what is it yeah i was just describing what he should have the pickle with so i suggested a slice of cheddar cheese put the branson on top and that's it that's not what you said that you literally know what i said you said a cheddar sandwich and i said what's a cheddar sandwich and then you thought i was crazy for asking well what does it sound like what does cheddar a slice well first off nobody eats a slice of cheese that's what i was saying bread and calls it a sandwich you if you eat sandwich no it's not it's an uncooked grilled cheese sandwich that hasn't thank you oh my god

that's what i did word for word andrew said i'm not a cold or room temperature cheese guy he said this to me over tech add that to the list a cheese like what so if you have like a ham and cheese sandwich you can't have cold fridge cheese or room temperature cheese i'd always want the cheese to be melted if i have a choice i'm always gonna choose for or room temperature cheese? I'd always want the cheese to be melted. If I have a choice, I'm always going to choose for above room temperature cheese. No. You want like a bunch of melted schmear on a cheese plate? What I said to Gavin Jeff was that if you do just a cheddar cheese sandwich,

you've done all the work of a grilled cheese with none of the pleasure. It's madness to me. Why would you not just toast? I totally agree. Now, in defense of Gavin, I do have to switch back onto his side a minute and say that room temperature and

cold cheese is totally fine when it's on the appropriate sandwich. It's just weird. It's like I had a cousin when I was growing up who would put mustard on two pieces of bread and eat it for lunch and call it a mustard sandwich. And that's not a fucking sandwich. One slice

of cheddar cheese between two pieces of untoasted bread with no butter or anything else it's not a sandwich it's two pieces of bread and a piece of cheese it's it's uh shit this is all i had i'm with you although i guess if you put the branson pickle on it i don't that may add another dimension to it is that i don't know so you're complaining to me over text about how it's a cold sandwich i'm like look that's a valid that's a perfectly normal sandwich. A cheese sandwich on its own, I would eat that. I used to eat that at school, probably.

You said, do I put turkey on a cheddar sandwich? Well, it just seemed... Is mozzarella cheddar? I said, no. Slice a block of cheddar, put Branson pickle on it. Do you need a diagram? You said, why is it called mozzarella cheddar and then you said ignore that i misread the list i did i had to order everything to figure

out this rant because i wanted to do it on the show i didn't have anything i needed for it uh and so do you have that now i do i have i have a variety of items that i could try this branston it's it's one of the most quick to make and simple sandwiches possible on the planet. I'm going to be honest with you, Gavin. I popped it open and I started to gag as soon as I did. It's the smell of it. Well, listen, you've never had this. And here I am.

I'm poo-pooing the sandwich too, and I've never had it. Gavin is holding on to knowledge that you and I don't yet have. keep an open mind maybe it doesn't taste like it smells and andrew can before we start can i make a very serious request of course can i ask you to not put chow mein on it yeah okay well gavin was giving i said that i have salad cream paranoia now because i still feel like i delivered on the request of salad cream and we're arguing about what is and isn't i the salad is the canvas of the food world you just throw whatever you want on it there are no rules to a salad anything's a salad you add stuff to but a saint he's like if you're making lemon meringue pie would you just skip the lemon i'm like no i'm a recipe guy i follow the recipe, but a salad is a canvas.

I said you just put chow mein and pine nuts in it. A salad is chaos. Did you guys see what Nick typed in the Discord? No. Andrew puts charcuterie boards in the microwave. Wait, is a charcuterie board, is that the cheese thing? It's a cheese plate. Yeah, see, I've never had a cheese plate,

so I'm open to being more accepting he did tell me on text that he's not a cheese plate guy well no no no no it's just i haven't had it so i'm not i'm saying i'm open i like the idea of being somebody who's into cheese plates i just have never tried one he ended up this text conversation just saying this is chaos and then i sent i'm i thought look i'm gonna help him out i made myself today for lunch a branson and cheddar sandwich and i sent him a picture of how the layout should be oh and he just replied uh i hate it yeah because it's just like you made a grilled cheese and ruined it is how i viewed it grilled cheese is such a great you don't have to you don't have to melt all your cheese melted cheese is the best type of cheese though in my opinion it's pretty good melted cheese is pretty best type of cheese though in my opinion it's pretty

good melted cheese is pretty good maybe you should try branston and melted cheese and see if that improves next week um so so you're about to try a cold cheese branston sandwich i got my cheese i'm assembling it as we speak i feel like you're both describing it in the most disgusting way possible how should we just would you really not go for this jeff would you would you try this i don't i mean i'll try i'll try just about anything that's not snake related i yeah that's not that's not white yeah is it white no i was on the impression it would be like i feel like it's like brown it's chutney right it's very brown i could put do you want me to put the picture that i sent to andrew in the

discord i would love it oh that reminds me before we end i need to send you guys two photos okay okay i'm waiting for a photo to appear or a canadian man to eat a sandwich yeah i'm putting hold on i'm spreading i don't oh from okay okay from where i'm sitting the computer's far enough away what it looks like shrunken down the thumbnail it looks like a fucking slice of white bread with a piece of american cheese maybe not even cheddar and then i think maybe 20 smushed raisins i don't know why uh cheddar here is like bright yellow i don't know it's like sharp cheddar apparently it's not that's not the way my cheddar looked but that was what i could get here in this uh american place that you fought so hard to live in. You know you like our cheese. Yeah. That's what brought you here.

It just looks like raisins. It looks like smushy raisins. I would rather have raisins on cheese than this, I'm pretty sure. Cranberries. Alright, so where are you in the process right now? I put the stuff on the cheese. I don't even know if I like cold cheese.

I don't see why. Can we get a picture of yours in the same format as mine just before you eat it so we know you've done it right? That's a great idea. No. No, you can't. Why not? Why? Because I don't have my phone around me. My desk is filled with ingredients I could possibly use. I've got a whole bunch of stuff. Stop trying to put other things on it. Just make a sandwich that looks like the picture he gave you and then let us see a picture of that picture Yeah, how hard is that? Go get your phone, take a picture of your cheese and pickle sandwich I'm not even doing the- I'm just doing a corner of the bread cause I don't trust this yet

It's just a little- I could salvage the rest You're making the corner of a sandwich? You don't trust it? Are you it's going to sleep with your girlfriend No no no This is perfectly good bread I don't want to ruin it so I took a small Corner of cheese and I put the stuff On the cheese so I'm going to bite

Into the top left of it I knew you would salad cream this I'm trying it Yes I am I just made I'm going to take a bite of a sandwich How are you going to make a bite of a sandwich. How are you going to make a corner of a sandwich? It's not going to balance right. It's going to fall apart. What do you mean?

It's a full sandwich, and I'm just putting it in the area I'm biting into. It's no different. Wait, what? It's a... You said it was the corner. He's only putting ingredients in the corner, but he's got two pieces of bread. Jesus Christ. It's like,

Gavin, imagine you were sleeping between two pieces of bread and the cheese and the Branson pickle were your inner sheet, and then the night you got too hot and you kicked them down. And they're at the bottom of the blanket sandwich. My sandwich looks identical

to yours, Gavin, except my Branston and cheddar is just in the top left and everything else is naked. How do we know? We can't see it. With the plan that if you hate it, you can still use the remaining three-cornered piece of bread to make something else I enjoy. I'm not wasting the bread.

If I like it, I'll add more cheese on it'll add more cheese it's not a hard thing it'll stay balanced here we go wow so you never you never throw away bread that's not eaten yet you always Why? Why? Oh, that shit, my bad. It's gotta suck. It looks terrible. It's so gross. I'm going to go.

This is... I didn't even know you needed it. I just took a bite. It's awful. I regret buying so many things to try it with. I don't want to try this again. It looks... I didn't want to say it like this earlier,

but it looks sometimes like when Arrow takes a shit in the yard and I don't catch it before it rains, and then the rain just hammers the shit down. That's what the Branston pickle looks like. Oh, my God. What's it taste like hammers the shit down. That's what the Branston pickle looks like. Oh my God. What's it taste like? Give us a review. Let's hear it.

It's very sour and sweet. Okay. A lot of tang to it. Yeah. And tangy. Texture? I can't tell. I don't even know how to answer that.

What do you mean? Well, it should be very crunchy. No, it's not. I wouldn't describe it answer that. What do you mean, like... Well, it should be very crunchy. No, it's not. I wouldn't describe it as crunchy. What are you eating? Did you get any of the actual bits of... No, I did. I did.

I got several of them. I ate the whole corner, Gavin. I covered it. I'm getting the impression that maybe one corner wasn't enough for you to make this full assessment. I'm not taking another bite of it. I will gladly try it with a different thing. Here is my problem with your suggestion. I would never just eat a cheddar sandwich to begin with.

I don't think I'd like... Yeah, I wouldn't like... This isn't a thing I'd enjoy. Okay, so you want to maybe try it on a grilled cheese then? I could try it that way. I got a few other items I could try it with. I have a bacon jerky. I could try it with that.

That classic combination. Yeah, let's try a little dip of that. The old Branston and bacon. Bacon jerky dipped in Branston pickle. That actually is better than the sandwich. I enjoy that a lot more. The Branston with the bacon jerky. I'm a fan of that. It's getting better.

Option. I don't know what I should do. Option two. I guess I'll go with the hot dog. Got a hot dog here. What the hell? Are you putting it on a hot dog? You can't just dip it in. You're not going to get any of the crunch if you dip. I need the crunch? I don't know if I like the crunch, though.

No, you want to spoon it or knife it onto whatever you're eating. Okay, I'll spoon it. Jesus Christ. Demands. Branst. I did a little bit? Okay, I'll spoon it. Jesus Christ. Demands. I did a little bit. Okay. I'm gonna get the crunch. Bite into this hot dog. That's fine. That's fine. That's better than the

sandwich. I think you offered me the thing I'd like at least on as the base test. If anything, you salad cream this. I've salad cream this? I was just trying to give you a very... Those are strong words. A very non-complex baseline. I do understand where he's coming from there. The more steps you have to take,

the greater the risk that you are going to fuck it up spectacularly. Mm-hmm. Hmm? I disagree. So you like it as a hot dog? It's not bad as a hot dog condiment. I'm going to do the last test. Dippable.

What's the last test? The Kit Kat. I got a Kit Kat. That's not real. Yeah, it is. I can't imagine that being an idiot. That's not a real thing. It's chocolatey.

It's going to be tangy. I think in my head this makes sense. I'm going to take a bite. I'd never order this. I'd never request this. It's better than the sandwich. This is better than the sandwich. I'd never order this. I'd never request this. It's better than the sandwich. This is better than the sandwich. Where the fuck would you request that?

Where would you ever find yourself in life when you would go, hey, can I get you anything, Andrew? Or can I get you anything, sir? And you go, you guys got a Kit Kat Branson pickle? We need to, the next time we need to set up

a little food trailer that just serves like muffins and bowls and Kit Kat dipped Branston. Or Branston dipped Kit Kats. If I was in a Fallout shelter and I only had Branston and Kit Kats, I wouldn't combine them often. But if I wanted to spice things up a little bit, I'd combine them. I'd combine them maybe once a year. It's not terrible. I enjoyed it more than the sandwich.

I would never eat that sandwich. That was a disgraceful sandwich Okay, so I'm wondering if yeah, I'm wondering if maybe the cheese baseline doesn't work for you being a Canadian You don't usually have a cheese sandwich. Yeah, I would try maybe a grilled cheese next week. I'm open to that I think I would enjoy it's so hard to fuck up a grilled cheese though No matter what you put on it. It's gonna be okay. You do it. Yeah, that's true It was a good point maybe you should have like a turkey and provolone and branson pickle well here's the i i ordered

turkey uh this is all products that came from 7-eleven by the way i ordered i got the official 7-eleven cheddar wonder bread and uh the 7-eleven Bacon Jerky Hot Dog. I ordered turkey. They didn't have any, so they just gave me ham. I'm not a big ham person. Not a big ham guy? You're not a big ham guy, considering we invented the ham zone, and that we swim in it? We're all ham fans?

Seriously? That's a great point. It's sort of like mayo to me. I like my ham to be sneaky i don't want to be aware okay the ham is there i can understand that when it's bacon you know when it looks like bacon bits like like that that style of like hawaiian pizza i think it's great yeah like on a oh really yeah i'm a fan of that well i'm glad uh i'm glad that you could try the branston i did um yeah it was worth the probably 45 bucks 45 bucks it took to get that to you.

I've got to try and think. We'll leave it for maybe another 10 or so weeks, but I'll try and find another obscure British food to make you eat because I'm enjoying it. I feel like we need to flip this. I feel like I need to come up with a thing for you two to try. I'm the guinea pig. Yeah, send me a box of poutine or something.

I'll tell you what. You send me a box of poutine or something i tell you what you uh you sent me a 12 foot toilet uh i'll take a pass on the next one you gavin can have it yeah i haven't got anything yet i don't well it's more complicated i don't know where you live you refuse to tell me you have to send it to me and then i take it to gavin yeah uh eric's telling us we have to wrap up and stop talking to each other and that our friendship is okay that's that it goes fast isn't it

yeah oh wow like that oh you know what that we do there are a couple things I do want to show or talk about one of them is I don't know if you saw it yet Gav but Andrew hasn't last episode that aired at least we asked the audience to very poorly roto in Don Zimmer over E.T. in Andrew Berman's closet.

Oh, it feels like so long ago now. Yeah, they did that, and I put it in the Discord. It's just below the picture of Andrew, if you guys want to watch that. Okay, let me have a look. Pretty adorable. Let's open that. I don't know why I didn't click this earlier.

I've been here the whole time. I'm just stuck in a loading screen That was sark lad at Gecko geek 6 it was very fast. Oh, yeah transition It works right yeah it works right yeah and then it's not seamless but it was we didn't want it we didn't want it to be yeah and then i uh i i want to send you guys a picture of this check this out that should be in the chat now oh we got these we got these in the mail yes uh from a user uh and i unfortunately i don't have the their name with me. They also sent a bunch of really cool old baseball cards.

But I have yours and Nick's and Gavin's and Eric's. And I have no intention of getting them to you. So I have six of these, I think, or five or six of these. That's amazing. I'm certainly not going to put them in the mail to Canada. Put it on your bike and drop it off. Yeah, if it is ever at all convenient to me, I saved the box. Actually, what I did

was I opened the box and I took mine out. I realized there was stuff for you guys. Then I just put it back in the box and threw it in my trunk. So what I could just do is throw it back in the mail at Rooster Teeth and let them figure it out. But anyway, they exist, and they're out there somewhere. I encourage you guys to find out a way to get yours because they are phenomenal.

We'll put it on the Instagram, but these giant face pencils with a bite taken out of them. On the back, they say they're numbered of six. I feel like that's better than anything we've sold. It's pretty fucking good and we should probably look into it. I don't have that user's name in front of me, but I will

be sure that we thank them in the future. I'm sorry. That comment lever. And then the other thing is i took the weirdest i think i was taking a selfie and it came out weird and i was wondering if you guys know anything notice anything weird about myself oh that's so disturbing that's great it's like too high up on the neck i know i uh right before we started the podcast, the mail came,

and I got my Don Zimmer fan. So I took his... What I did... I'll put it on the Instagram as well, or I'll have it put on it, but I just... I took a selfie where I replaced my face

with Don Zimmer's. His head is like 80% cheeks. I don't know how he does it. Dude, that thing was not cheap. I had to pay like $40 for it because he autographed this forehead there. Oh, that's a real Don Zimmer autograph? Yeah, it came with a certificate of authenticity.

Wow. I didn't want it. I just wanted his head for like five bucks, but that was the only option. Sir, your signature is ruining the fan. It's got to be one of the grossest things made about and for a celebrity it's not nice he looks pasty in it he's he his eyes are half closed it's just it looks like he didn't do a special photo shoot for it someone was just like don and he was like huh and then they took the

picture he was tired he just had a nap he turned around yeah it's not anyway it's so it's phenomenal uh so anyway that's all i wanted to show you guys oh that's great love it yeah how do you feel about that one jeff was that a good episode how do you feel about it what's your review of this one all right if you want to get into it uh yeah all right can. Here's the form. Here's the survey. Here's what I was thinking. I thought it was a really good episode. I was really happy with all of it but one part. And I was going to call Gavin out or text Gavin after and see what he thought. But we can do it here.

I think that my telling of the stand-up face I did where I didn't prepare and I had to do the 20-minute stand-up. I think that story was a little dry. No. It was an emotional journey. Are you kidding me? No. Jeff, I was feeling your anxiety in that. Yeah, that was great.

It was an A+. Yeah. That's good, man. Thanks, because I was feeling pretty down on that one. No. I appreciate that. I was... pretty down on that one. No. I appreciate that. That's nice. I felt like I was dragging.

No, not at all. Fantastic. Alright, well, thanks. If anything, you should feel bad about the weird ending that you've given us now. Well, usually I give you this ending after. You wanted to do it here. You wanted to fill out the comment cards,

so we're filling out the comment cards. I usually have this spiral 15 minutes from now, but that's okay. It was great. All right, let's end it. Yeah. All right, it was lovely talking to you two idiots. Thank you for listening.

This has been episode 49 of F*** Face. We would really appreciate it if you would give us a like and a review and tell your friends and buy a T-shirt or a baseball bat or a knob or I don't know, something. Or not. I don't give a fuck. Just listen to another episode. Or don't. Whatever.

It's a free country. If you listen from America, you figure it out. See you next week. Bye.